


The Leader

by Crystal_Stars



Series: The Perseverant [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: All that foreshadowing is finally paying off, Anxiety Attacks, Both of the boys are precious cinnamon rolls, But aren't all good things eventually taken away?, Distrust, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Everyone Needs A Hug, Family Dynamics, Genocide, Guilt, Handplates Backstory, Happy Endings Have to be Deserved, Hatred vs. Mercy, Hope vs. Despair, I promise I love these characters, Inspired by the stories of Undertale and Handplates, Lots of tears, Magic, Night Terrors, POV First Person w/ some Third, Past Abuse, Perseverance vs. Determination, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reminders of past pain, Self-Hatred, Sibling Love, Sometimes cute things happen, Suffering, Survivor Guilt, Suspicions, They'll finally see the Surface, Things are just going to go really badly for them, Torture, Undertale Saves and Resets, What Have I Done, part 3 of 3, this is going to hurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2020-06-24 12:42:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 33
Words: 210,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19723897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crystal_Stars/pseuds/Crystal_Stars
Summary: The Determination human has finally arrived, and Krista is at the front of it all as she battles between paranoia and compassion for the (seemingly) innocent child. But even after the Barrier is broken and monsters return to the Surface, she can't shake her suspicions as past warnings and terrors continue to plague her mind. When time is Reset, Krista desperately fights as another Determination human begins to gain control in search of the world she has always wanted.





	1. Frisk

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, here we go one last time. Hello! If this is your first time finding this story, then I highly suggest you first read Zarla's amazing comic, Handplates, which you can find here: https://www.deviantart.com/zarla/gallery/57456341/Handplates  
> While the comic applies the least to this last part, it heavily influences the first part: The Experiment and carries over into Part 2: The Stranger, which if you have not read yet, you'll need to read before this one.
> 
> If you're a returning reader, then welcome back! Thank you so much for your dedication to this story and for caring about Krista and my version of the Undertale world. This final part is going to be quite a ride, and I hope it will be the satisfying (if unexpected) ending that you're hoping for.

Surface above… they’re here,  _ she’s  _ here: the Determination human. After all this time, the trait that hasn’t walked the Underground in a thousand years is finally here.

She’s not what I expected, but then again, I wasn’t sure  _ what  _ to expect. I guess all this talking up about her arrival made me imagine her to be more… striking. Instead, she’s just a simple girl, pretty but nothing that considerably makes her stand out, just like me. Apart from the red eyes, I wouldn’t think twice to consider that she might be the prophesized Angel, the “Savior” of the Underground.

Her eyes are lighter than the deep blood-red of Chara’s, but they’re also darker than the bright strawberry-red of Papyrus’ scarf. For some reason, I want to compare them to the rubies I saw in the Waterfall cave Undyne took me to; the perfect color in between the two. There’s an innocence to her eyes, but I remind myself that they mean she’s used magic. They’d be brown if she hadn’t.

And here I am, willingly holding my hand out to shake hers, and she’s staring at me like I’m my own form of a monster.

“I’m uh, Frisk,” she finally says, taking my right hand and giving it a weak shake.

“Well, Frisk, what brings you to the Underground?” I ask, letting go and smoothly shoving my hands in my pockets. I need to seem inviting and friendly; the more comfortable she is, the easier it will be to get her to talk. 

I highly doubt Chara has gained any influence over her, but I still need to be wary. She  _ seems  _ like a lost kid who happened to end up in the Underground, but her red eyes are all I need to keep my guard up.

“I… I’m here by mistake, and I need to get home as soon as possible,” Frisk says, her voice a bit stronger this time.

“So you didn’t choose to come here?” I ask lightly.

“No, I made a dumb decision, and now I need to get back.”

“Then you’ve got a ways to go,” I say, stepping around her and walking across the bridge with Cody on my heels. “I’d be happy to escort you to Waterfall as a start.”

“Really?” Frisk asks, following after me.

“Sure thing,” I say casually, burying my sudden discomfort at her proximity. Not only does she possess the Determination trait, but just the fact that she’s another human in the Underground puts me on edge. It makes me realize that I haven’t been around another living human since I lost Mable.

“The monsters don't attack you?” Frisk asks as we walk past my sentry station.

“Are you kidding me? They  _ adore _ me! I'm the biggest celebrity’s co-star after all,” I say with a kind of confidence I’ve never possessed. 

The girl's eyes widen and I give her a winning smile. This is normal; she's just like anyone else. She's not going to attack me… as much as my magic denies it. 

“Not to be rude, but how long have you been down here?” Frisk asks, peering at me with curiosity.

“One year, two months, and three days,” I say as if I’ve been keeping track all this time. The only reason I can remember on the spot is because of how well the numbers work together. If I wanted to be literal, I’d have to include all the time that has been Reset, meaning I’ve been here for much longer than the calendar says.

“That long?” Frisk asks, terror spiking in her red eyes.

“Yeah, but don’t worry. If I  _ really  _ wanted to leave, I guess I could have, but I’m happy here. Since you’re determined to get home, you’ll be there in no time.”

“So I just… get to the other side of the Underground and I can leave?”

“It’s not  _ that  _ simple; there are a couple magic technicalities,” I say, watching for her reaction as we pass Doggo’s station. Thankfully today, of all days, most of the dogs took off work for Underground Puppy Day, which basically means nothing to everybody except for the dogs. Not even Cody cares.

Frisk’s eyebrows rise, “Magic technicalities?”

“Yeah, but nothing I’m sure you haven’t faced before, right?”

Her eyes widen even more and she stops in her tracks, “What are you implying?”

“Well… your eyes are red which means you’ve used magic,” I say like it’s common knowledge.

Frisk stares at me as if I’m the first monster she’s ever seen. “My eyes aren’t red; they’re brown.”

“Look again,” I say in a warning tone, finally dropping my facade of an unsuspecting greeter.

Her eyes drift to the frozen patch of ice in front of us and she cautiously walks to it. The Determination human kneels down to look at her reflection, and a sharp shriek escapes her as she leaps back.

“That’s… not possible,” she says, breathless.

I gaze down at her with a blank expression, unsure what to make of her reaction. Is that genuine?

She stops gasping for breath and narrows her eyes on me, “Is this some sort of trick?”

“I don’t know,  _ is it _ ?” I shoot back.

Frisk stands up, an insulted expression on her face. “What are you accusing me of? I’ve done nothing wrong, and I have no idea why my eyes are red. They were brown yesterday.”

“And what’s the difference between today and yesterday?” I ask, crossing my arms and raising an eyebrow.

She bristles, “You’re saying falling into the Underground did something to me?”

“Possibly. Whatever it was gave me a rude awakening at one in the morning.” Frisk’s eyes suddenly avert mine. “Got something to say about  _ that _ ?”

“I… I think that’s about the time I fell… and hit the golden flowers.”

My throat dries and I say without thinking, “They’re actually there?”

She finally looks at me, “Well… yeah, didn’t you see them?”

So Mom was right. For all her suspicions and beliefs, the golden flowers are one more thing that she was right about. The thought makes me ache all over at how much she didn’t get to see and all the people she could have proven wrong.

My eyes snap back to Frisk’s and I remember the lie I’ve been reciting for almost a year. “No, I entered the Underground through the Barrier.” Frisk’s eyebrows scrunch in question. “It’s the magical force keeping the monsters Underground. Anyone can enter through, but no one can leave alone.”

“Because of the king,” Frisk says as if she already knows every detail.

“Who told you that?” I ask as we start walking again.

“Toriel, the goat lady who lives in the Ruins. She says he’ll kill me like the other humans, but I feel better now that I know he doesn’t kill  _ all  _ humans.”

Without thinking, I bite my lip, knowing that Frisk is a dead girl walking if she is truly innocent in all this. If she proves to be trustworthy and ignorant of Chara’s influence… can I protect her? Mettaton’s designed to kill her, too, but I’m not as worried about him since dancing easily distracts him.

Frisk’s light smile drops when she sees my expression, “What? Have you not met the king yet? Does he know about you?”

“He does, in fact, I lived in the castle for a time… but I’m also not the last trait they need to break the Barrier.”

“The last trait?”

I bite my lip even harder in hesitation. Should I explain it to her? Either way, innocent or not, what advantage would the knowledge give her? I try to think of any reason and nothing comes to mind. It’s common knowledge around here, she’s bound to find out from somebody. So I tell her the basics: the seven traits and their corresponding eye colors, the actions of the wizards, and what the monsters have had to wait for in the past millennium.

I omit what are arguably the most important factors: the fact that she’s technically the most powerful trait with magic that could make the world bow to her, my relation to the two most powerful wizards in history, and what has been done to every other human who has fallen into the Underground.

I’m the most special case imaginable; my survival has hung on hundreds of factors, and I don’t see Frisk having similar ones in her favor. Then again, what magic has she used that triggered her true eye color? How much does she know?

“So… the king just might kill me, then?” Frisk finally asks as we reach the frozen section of path surrounded by thin, barren trees. There hasn’t been another monster in sight, and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing as we approach town.

“It’s possible,” I admit, “but… maybe we can convince him you’re willing to break the Barrier while you’re alive instead of being forced to do it as a SOUL. That is… once you convince  _ me  _ you’re trustworthy,” I lightly joke.

Her eyes drop to the ice on the path and we stop. “But will using my SOUL on the Barrier kill me anyway?”

“I’m not sure,” I say sincerely.

“Well… I guess we have something to look forward to, then,” she suddenly says in a light tone. Frisk steps onto the ice and glides forward as if it’s on a slant and she hops off with a little skip in her step on the other side. “Are you coming?”

“I’ll catch up in a minute; there are some great views up ahead that you might want to take your time to appreciate,” I say, replicating her light tone.

“Okay, see you in a bit,” she says with a wave before turning down the right path that leads to a dead end.

_ “Tricky, tricky,” _ Lissaria purrs in my head once the Determination human disappears around the corner.

“Shut up,” I hiss and Cody looks up at me with wide eyes, knowing the Magic Whisperer is speaking through our Death Vow connection.

_ “She is finally here, and you’re going to try to play friends?” _ Lissaria snorts.

_ “I’m willing to try anything as long as it keeps her in the dark as to what she is,”  _ I think back.

_ “If you bring her to me, I can tell you how much she knows,” _ the mind-reader offers.

_ “I’ll consider it,” _ I admit, suddenly very tempted to take her up on the offer. But by the time Frisk gets to New Home, there wouldn’t be much of a point. I guess I could consult Jex, but even then, that could shatter the very faint layer of trust I think Frisk and I have built.

I pick up Cody and create a solid path of magic over the ice, unsure how Frisk was able to slide along it. Maybe I’m just terrible at keeping my balance. I want to get ahead of her, but I also didn’t want to risk her seeing my magic. The less she knows about what I can do, the better.

I head down the path and over the bridge, keeping a keen eye out for a blue and purple striped sweater in case she continued onwards. But I don’t spot her, leading me to believe she took my advice and is enjoying Snowdin’s beauty.

The town is peaceful and quiet, as it should be at this time in the morning, with few people outside. Nothing seems amiss, but then again, most of the monsters around here don’t know what humans look like.

I pass Grillby’s with a glance in its direction, knowing Sans won’t be here until lunchtime if I don’t do anything. A few more steps and I realize what I need to do when I spot the River Person at the end of the extended path to my left. Their hooded gaze is downcast, but I know Roman’s waiting for me. 

I approach the disguised skeleton, and he doesn’t look up at me until I put a boot on his boat.

“Where have you been?” I ask in a flat tone, my frustration with him finally catching up to me.

“Krista,” he says in a hushed voice. “Do you realize what walks the Underground right now?”

“You mean Frisk?” I ask casually. Roman’s green eyes snap up to mine in surprise. “Yeah, I met her. I’m not sure what to think considering her magic. How do  _ you  _ know about her?”

His eyes lower back to the ground, “Chara made sure to gloat.”

“What did she do?”

He takes a deep breath, “Even though I’m free… she still has her ways of showing up. I was only in the Void for a couple minutes, but it was enough to bring back all the fears I’ve been trying to work through. She said the End has begun… the end of a world she hates.”

I cross my arms and take a step back, raking my teeth back and forth over my lip. I’m not sure if I’m taking the best approach with Frisk. Would being friendly and open make her see me as an ally? Or would she think I’m faking it and agree with Chara’s hatred of the living world? Does she already see me as a threat? Have I already made too many mistakes in showing my suspicions of her?

“Take me to Hotland,” I say without another thought, stepping into the boat. Cody barks in question and I point down the path, “I need you to keep an eye on her, okay? I’ll be back soon.”

He nods and takes off down the path as the boat starts to move. After a few seconds of silence, Roman finally says, “I’m… sorry about the Death Vow.”

I shrug, “It’s not too bad. It stings every now and then and the Whisperer loves to talk, but other than that, it’s like it doesn’t even exist.”

“I guess it helps that you never wear short sleeves,” he adds.

“Yep, I was definitely meant for Snowdin.”

We reach Hotland’s dock and I step off the boat. “You don’t have to wait. I’ll make it back another way.” Roman nods, averting my gaze. “Is there something else you want to tell me?”

“Chara made some… very powerful threats against you. She said she is going to make you suffer more than you ever have in your life.”

My throat dries at the intensity of his tone, the dead seriousness that implies Chara’s knowledge of just how she’ll torture me. But I swallow the dry spot and simply reply, “I bet she’ll try,” before turning and heading up the steps to Hotland.

I don’t look back as I head for the elevator, knowing if I look in Roman’s eyes, he’ll tell me Chara’s threats. But I don’t want to hear them. She knows me better than I’d like to admit, which means she can find every soft spot I have.

I’ve been trying to push away those thoughts ever since she told me what she did to my family. Now everything is all too real with Frisk’s presence in the Underground, which means I desperately need an ally in this before she travels too far. I can’t say for certain whether or not Frisk has a hold on time. Flowey and I lost our powers relating to it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean Frisk can Save and Reset, right? When I checked the menu last night, it was blank, but was that simply because she arrived and hadn’t Saved yet?

I rub my head to prevent a headache as the elevator doors open, and I step inside, pressing the  _ R2 _ button. This is what I’ve been ignoring, and now I’m paying the price. There wasn’t anything I could have done to prepare for this, but still, it doesn’t make me any less angry with myself.

The doors open and I turn right to find Sans’ sentry station in a few steps. He jumps out of his seat at the sight of me, forcing a teasing smile on his face.

“What’s this? You never visit me at work.” His smile drops when he sees my expression, “Let me guess, you can’t stop feeling guilty about Lily?”

“Worse,” I choke out, my throat still tight.

“What?” he asks, walking up to me.

“I found the cause for losing my ability to update the Reset point.”

“And?”

“Her eyes aren’t blood-red like Chara’s.”

Sans’ eyes black out and he shortcuts us into our house. “The Determination human is here?”

“She also has a really weak handshake,” I reply, making him smirk.

“So she’s used magic… but she doesn’t seem threatening is what you’re saying?”

“In a way,” I respond before explaining my interaction with her, occasionally checking outside the window for that blue and purple sweater. “I highly doubt she’s encountered Chara, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she has good intentions.”

“So what do you want to do? Follow close by as she travels or watch from a distance?” Sans asks, glancing outside, too.

“Both. I don’t want to seem too suspicious or wary of her, but at the same time, I don’t feel comfortable letting her travel on her own. I’m more concerned for the safety of monsters than her own, aside from Undyne who is definitely going to freak out.”

“My next question, then, would be if we should get involved at that point?” he asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Should we let Undyne or Asgore kill her so the Barrier can be destroyed, or should we protect her?”

My eyebrows scrunch in uncertainty and I glance outside again as if the answers are written out there. In a way, they are when I spot Frisk talking with Merrick. They both laugh about something before he turns and takes off down the path, leaving Frisk to continue walking with a slight skip in her step. 

The sight of her bruised legs makes me wonder how she’s not freezing out there, reminding me of my days of never having clothes warm enough to combat the cold. The surge of compassion I feel for her forces the answer out of me without another thought. “No… we should protect her.”

I see Sans raise an eye socket out of the corner of my eye and I finally look at him. “We’re judging her based on paranoia, nothing else. If she shows signs of powerful magic or she tries to attack anyone, we put her down. But in the meantime… she reminds me of myself. We don’t know what she’s been through, and maybe she just genuinely wants to get home. I don’t want an innocent kid’s fate to be sealed simply because she is something she can’t control.”

Sans slowly nods, but his eyes still hold the same concern I have for the situation. The possibility of Frisk using her magic on us seems very high, but that’s only under the assumption that she understands what she is. If we observe from a distance without her knowing, then maybe we can figure out her true intentions.

With another glance outside, I see that Frisk has moved on towards Waterfall, reminding me that we’ll need to follow close so Undyne won’t kill her. 

I turn for the front door and open it to see Flowey’s grinning face, and on instinct, I throw out a wave of magic that he drops underground to avoid. He pops up on the snow covered path and rolls his eyes, “You’re so quick to attack me when half the time I haven’t even done anything.”

“You have two seconds to convince me not to kill you,” I say without a speck of emotion. He’s good at bringing out one of my worst sides, the kind that fights without remembering what she’s fighting for.

“I’m glad Frisk is here; you’ve become a boring playmate, Krista. So defensive and serious, Frisk is so trusting, she walked right into my friendliness pellets.”

“And apparently you can’t help showing what a bastard you are within the first minute of meeting someone,” I counter.

He smirks, “It should give you piece of mind that she doesn’t know how to use her magic. Congratulations, you’re still the strongest human SOUL in the Underground.”

“Why are her eyes red, then?” I ask flatly. He knows something, but he won’t tell me if I show my interest.

Flowey bites back a smile, “I guess you’ll just have to find out for yourself since you refuse to work with me.”

“Fine then,” I shrug, walking down the steps and heading towards the blizzard that separates Snowdin from Waterfall.

“You’ll regret this decision,” he calls after me and Sans laughs.

“Do you want me to make  _ you  _ regret bothering us?” my brother asks.

Flowey just sneers at him and drops underground, suddenly lacking his bravado.

“I think he’s afraid of you,” I say, “he certainly doesn’t enjoy sticking around when you’re near.”

Sans shrugs, “I’d like to think the only thing he remembers when he sees me is what I did to him through that Determination.”

“I’m sure I’d be scared, too, if I had seen it,” I say as Cody runs down the path towards us and I pick him up. We turn and walk through the blizzard into Waterfall’s warmer, muggy air.

Sans doesn’t say anything for a good minute until he finally murmurs, “The fact that you weren’t there is exactly why I became that way.”

I sigh, “I know.”

“And things aren’t going to get better.”

“Not if we don’t do anything,” I say with a hint of optimism. Seriously, when Papyrus isn’t around, Sans can get really cynical. With our brother spending so much time in New Home for his new cooking show, the days can get pretty quiet without his presence. It’s not that he’s  _ always  _ talking, but when he’s around, he gives me a sense of positivity and purpose that I would never feel normally. 

“And what if doing everything in our power isn’t enough?” Sans asks, glancing at an Echo Flower that’s too busy repeating the sounds of a nearby waterfall.

“Then it isn’t enough. I don’t know what else there is to say about something we can’t control. We’ll try our best, and if we fail… we’ll just have to accept it. Of course, we probably never will since we’re too stubborn to accept that kind of loss, but we’ll find some sort of closure if it comes to that.”

“You don’t seem to be as bothered about this as I am,” my brother says, squinting at me.

I sigh and place Cody on the ground so he can trot beside us. “Of course I’m worried, but we’ve been talking about this day for months. Now that she’s here, I can’t think about what  _ might  _ happen; I can only focus on what  _ is  _ happening, which is why we need to find her soon. Waterfall is arguably the most dangerous place for her to be in.”

Sans nods, easily understanding my unspoken reasons in a way no one else can. However, despite that, I know he’ll refuse to see my rationale for my next idea. “I think we should split up because of that.”

He just raises an eye socket and smirks, “You really think I’m going to be okay with that?”

“Look, we need to find her before Undyne does and traveling together will slow us both down. We're confident in our magic, and I already know you're going to make the guard dog stick with me. So shortcut to the end of Waterfall and we'll either meet in the middle or wherever Frisk is, okay?”

He holds my gaze for another second before nodding, “Fine, be careful.”

“When am I ever not?” I ask, innocently turning my head.

“If I listed all the times, we’d be here for the rest of the day,” he responds, rolling his eyes before teleporting away.

Cody barks in an anxious tone and I nod down to him, “Yes, puppy, let’s go.”

We push through a patch of tall grasses before running over a flower bridge and into the echoing halls of Waterfall. I honestly don’t know how Frisk got so far so fast since she’s not in the Wishing Room and she’s already past the dark waters leading to the long dock. At the end of the dock, we push through more tall grasses and into the hallway that leads to the Ponds. That’s when I hear Undyne’s voice.

“ _ You’re _ standing in the way of everyone’s hopes and dreams!”

_ Oh no. _

“We can talk this out! There’s no reason to fight,” Frisk argues.

_ No, no, no! _

I sprint down the hall and turn the corner onto the bridge that leads to the path through the Ponds. A few steps away, I spot Undyne blocking Frisk’s way onto the second bridge. The Captain is complete in her armor with a bright spear in her hand as she towers over the child, every ounce the force she is to fear.

“There is nothing to discuss,” Undyne snaps back as she lifts her spear. I sprint forward and pull Frisk back just as the spear descends and cuts into the cyan grass.

“ _ Krista _ ?” Undyne yells in surprise when she looks up to see me push Frisk behind me.

“Are you kidding me, Undyne? What the hell are you thinking?” I snap.

“What am  _ I  _ thinking? What are  _ you  _ doing?” the Captain yells back. “ _ She _ is the last SOUL we need to break the Barrier!”

“I know that, but we shouldn’t kill her!” I argue.

Undyne laughs and rolls her eye, “Oh, I should have predicted this. Let me guess, you’re the first one who saw her, and you did nothing to stop her. You couldn’t help but pity the human since you were once in a similar situation: lost and confused with no one to trust.”

Her assumption cuts deep and I feel the blood drain from my face. I didn’t think my reason for showing mercy towards Frisk was so obvious.

I swallow the sudden dry spot in my throat and say, “So what if that’s my reason? It’s wrong to kill an innocent child.”

Undyne raises an eyebrow, “Come on, Krista. You know that’s been done hundreds of times over the years, and now that we’re  _ this  _ close to breaking the Barrier, you think I’m going to let her go?”

“Yes because I’m here to convince you,” I say, lifting my chin.

She smirks and shakes her head, “You’re my best friend, Krista… but your opinion isn’t strong enough to change my mind.”

She shoves me to the side so fast I barely register it until I turn around and watch her plunge the spear into the Determination human’s heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's the first chapter! I'm sure you were all expecting this on Friday, but that's my birthday so I wanted to get this out sooner than later. I'm probably going to take a break from posting until about mid-August and then we'll get right back into it. Unfortunately, my schedule changed again so I'll be back to posting every two weeks instead of every week. As usual, the day will either be a Friday or a Saturday (most likely a Friday but you never know.)
> 
> Thanks so much for your patience. I'll continue to write as often as possible!


	2. Try As You Might...

“It had to be done,” is all Undyne says as she lifts up Frisk’s SOUL: a rich, dark red heart that innocently floats above her palm.

“No it didn’t,” I whisper, my throat tightening at the sight of the blood pouring out of Frisk’s chest.

Undyne sighs, “As much as I respect you and your opinion, it would never be enough to make me ignore my most important responsibility. I have a duty to this kingdom and its people, and I will not shove that aside for a single person, not even you, Krista.”

I lower my eyes to the ground and nod, “I understand, Captain.”

Her hand appears in my line of vision, and I look up to see her face surprisingly scrunched with remorse. “Come on, we can take it to Asgore together. Aren’t you ready to see the sun again?”

“No,” I say, taking her hand and standing up. “But I guess I don’t have a choice now.”

Undyne pats my shoulder and gives me a sad smile, “Hopefully one day, you will forgive me.”

My eyes lower to the ground again, and I feel a sudden snap of pain in my head. I wince and spots begin to darken my vision.

“I’ll give you a minute before moving on,” the captain says, oblivious to my sudden discomfort. She heads down the path towards the Raining Room, and I jump when I feel something press into my leg. I look down and Cody stares up at me with an anxious expression. I had completely forgotten he was even with me.

“Hey, puppy,” I say, crouching next to him and squeezing my eyes shut as the pain begins to cut deeper.

“It’s like when Flowey went back to his Save point,” he says, making my eyes snap open in surprise.

“What makes you think that?”

“I’ve become very familiar with the tells you have when you feel pain. Your SOUL tells me this is similar to when Flowey went back to his Save point that first time.”

“I thought you don’t remember that.”

“I don’t, but my magic helps me remember certain feelings.”

“So I guess this means,” I say, looking back at Frisk’s corpse. The sight makes my chest tighten as I remember Mable: that fragile, helpless little body devoid of breath. I’ve failed another child, and my realization doesn’t ease the pain as I look away. “She _can_ control time; that’s the magic she knows how to use.”

“But why do you only feel pain the first time?” Cody asks.

“My only guess is my magic is figuring out who has control and how to combat it,” I say, letting out a small cry when the pain sharpens and I fall forward on my knees.

“What can I do?” Cody asks in a sudden panic.

“Stay with me,” is all I can whisper as I give him his SOUL back and stroke his head.

Cody whimpers and my hand curls around the fur on the back of his neck as one final snap of pain throws me back to whenever Frisk Saved.

***

I gasp and find myself back at the beginning of the dock, immediately understanding where I am and what I need to do. Cody whimpers in confusion and I just wave him along as I sprint down the long, winding dock. I need a different approach this time if I’m going to save Frisk, but what can I do or say that will convince Undyne?

I shove through the tall grasses when I reach land and run straight into a figure with a blue and purple striped sweater.

“Whoa, what’s the rush, Krista?” Frisk asks, slightly putting her hands up and backing away.

“Have you seen Undyne yet?” I ask, looking her up and down for any injuries.

“Who’s Undyne?” Frisk innocently asks.

I roll my eyes, “The fish that just _killed_ you.”

Frisk gasps, “You… you remember that?”

“ _Yes_ ,” I snap.

“H- how?” the girl stutters.

My throat tightens as I realize I’ve just revealed one of my most important cards. Now she knows I have magic, great. I should’ve thought this through, but of course, there’s no turning back now. Way to go, Krista. 

I sigh, “Look, I’ve been down here for a while; I’ve seen and learned a lot of strange stuff, including magic. That’s why I was suspicious of you because I didn’t know what kind of magic you knew. So tell me what you know, and I will tell you how I can remember.”

“Can we do it somewhere far from Undyne?”

“How about this, I will lead her away and catch up with you in the Raining Room.”

“Where is that?”

I explain how to get there and tell her to wait until I lead Undyne away before moving. Frisk nods and hides in the tall grasses as I make my way to the Ponds with Cody, my stomach tightening in apprehension. I don’t want to lie… but what else can I do if I want to protect Frisk? That becomes the question then: how much do I want to sacrifice for this girl that I don’t even know? Am I doing the right thing here? Or am I falling into a trap? What if she really is a threat that I need to destroy? She knows how to Load Saves, which in turn should mean she knows how to Reset time.

Am I being manipulated by a second Determination human? Or is it the same one with different eyes?

I shake my head and turn the corner to the Ponds, forcing myself to believe I’m doing the right thing… for now.

I don’t encounter Undyne until I’m over the second bridge and see her turning the corner onto my path. Her eye brightens when she sees me and she smiles, “Hey, Krista! Whatcha doing here?”

“Well… I encountered a human this morning,” I say hesitantly.

Her pupil shrinks and she runs up to me, “What?”

“You heard me right, and she’s in Snowdin right now. Last I saw her, she was just barely over the first bridge before I rushed here to find you. I know I’m not the most qualified to give my opinion, but please don’t hurt her.”

Undyne takes a deep breath, “Do you know her trait?”

“Determination.”

Her eyebrows scrunch, “Krista… you understand what I have to do because of that, right?”

I nod, “Yes and I know your duty is more important than what I want… but please don’t kill her. No matter where she goes, she’ll eventually meet Asgore, and besides, aren’t human SOULs more effective when they’re alive?”

She sighs and averts my gaze, “That’s true, but I can’t risk letting her get away.”

“I highly doubt she knows where to run.”

Undyne looks back at me and frowns, “Fine, I won’t kill her. But that doesn’t mean I won’t injure her to make sure she’s under control.”

“I understand.”

“I think it’s best you stay here while I find her.”

“Agreed.”

She pats my shoulder, “We’re almost there, Krista. Remember that everyone’s freedom hangs on this. If something bad has to happen to her… keep in mind that we’ve suffered for nearly a thousand years.”

I look away and bite my lip, “I know… but I can’t think that way.”

“I had a feeling you couldn’t, but I thought I’d remind you, anyway. Seeing the sun might not even change your mind, which is why I promise I’ll try my best to keep her alive.”

The promise sounds pretty half-hearted to me, but I nod as if I completely believe her. “Thank you.”

“You bet,” she says before heading down the path and taking a right. My guess is she’ll take the River Person’s boat to Snowdin, and I wait a couple minutes to make sure she’s truly gone.

Frisk waits, too and she shows up at the end of the path a few minutes later. “I guess you didn’t have to tell me how to get to the Raining Room.”

“Yeah, I thought things were going to turn out differently,” I admit, although I’m not really sure what I thought would’ve happened in the first place. “Anyway, let’s go.”

I wave her forward and she runs up to walk beside me as Cody trots along on my left.

“Um, thanks… for standing up for me. I was nervous that you didn’t like me after our first interaction,” Frisk says.

“I’m sorry that I got really defensive; there are so many things that have been hanging on your arrival that I just assumed you were here with your own intentions,” I reply.

“Well, I have intentions, but they have nothing to do with the monsters. I just want to get home.”

“May I ask what you need to get back to?”

Frisk suddenly picks at some dead skin on her thumb. “I, uh… it’s complicated family issues, and even though I’m the dumb little twelve-year-old to one of them, it’s important that I get back there.”

I nod, “I can understand. I mean, my family dynamics are kinda complicated and disjointed, but I know my existence is an important part of them.”

“Do you… have family up there?” Frisk asks cautiously.

I smirk, “There’s a reason why I said they’re complicated.”

“Oh, nevermind then, I won’t push.”

“It’s fine, I’m pretty pushy myself, which is why I’ve got a lot of questions for you.”

Frisk nods, “I figured, and I’m willing to answer them to the best of my ability.”

“Great, as long as we’re on the same page,” I say as we leave the Ponds and head down the long hallway to the Raining Room. “First things first: how did you learn your magic?”

“This will probably be hard for you to believe, but I never thought magic or monsters were real until this morning. When I woke up on the golden flowers, I got this feeling like something had changed in me. I couldn’t explain it, and when I entered that first room in the Ruins, there was a flickering gold star. When I touched it, there was a blank black screen that popped up. When I put a hand on the screen to see if it was tangible, my name showed up in the top left corner in red, along with Save and Reset options in the center. I hit Save, and a time showed up in the top right corner, about ten minutes. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I didn’t know if should’ve believed I’d used magic or if it was some sort of trick. Every gold star I saw after that, I Saved, and the time kept getting higher. I’m guessing it’s the amount of time I’ve been in the Underground, or how long it’s been since my magic was activated. Does entering the Underground activate magic in a human? Or is it something else entirely?”

I bite my lip, unsure of how much I should tell her. I’m definitely not telling her how _my magic_ was “activated”… but maybe I can talk my way around the truth. 

We reach the Raining Room and I grab an umbrella while picking Cody up. He’s been the silent observer this whole time, and I wonder what he makes of Frisk. Does he think she’s trustworthy? I feel like I need a second opinion on her before I reveal anything too personal about my life.

“I’m not sure what the Underground’s magic does to humans, but we were just as able to use magic a thousand years ago without its influence,” I finally respond.

“Why do you think everyone’s forgotten about something so important? I’ve heard of a few legends, but they’ve always seemed so ludicrous that I never would have imagined they’d be real.”

I bite back my smirk as the _exact_ reasons come to mind, and I quickly shove them away. If I think about them, I’ll be tempted to explain. I of all people hate being left in the dark, and I’m so used to searching for answers that it’s strange to be on this side of the situation for once. But I can’t give her all the reasons, not until I’m certain she’s completely trustworthy. Sure, I’ve decided to help her stay alive, but that doesn’t mean I should tell her _everything_.

“I’m not sure, maybe it was outlawed or became too dangerous for people to control,” I lie.

“Hmm, I guess that would make sense,” Frisk says, easily believing my words as we leave the Raining Room and enter the cavernous room after it. She gasps as she takes it all in, and I walk a few paces ahead until I reach the center of the path.

“This looks like a good spot to sit,” I say, tossing my umbrella to the side and pressing my back against the stone wall as I slide down to the cool ground.

Frisk follows my lead and sits to my left with Cody in between us. Is that a sign of trust from him?

“Can I pet your puppy?” the girl cautiously asks and Cody immediately nuzzles under her outstretched hand.

“Cody doesn’t need my permission to love people,” I smirk. “I think he likes you.” Or at least I hope he does.

Frisk lets out a soft laugh, “I had a dog when I was really little; he was a golden retriever named Lucky. It broke my big brother’s heart when he died. I was only four at the time so I don’t really remember him except for one time when I lost my favorite stuffed animal and he found it for me. We never got another dog after that, but we had a cat up until two years ago… and a betta fish. Well, the fish is still alive, but it’s like he doesn’t even exist.”

I smile, realizing I’m genuinely enjoying hearing about her pets. Of course, we’re not talking about the things I _intended_ to discuss… but I guess they can wait. “I never had pets growing up, but I always wanted one. I found this little guy last summer all by himself with nowhere to go. It’s like we were meant to find each other.”

“So… you at least _had_ a home up there?” Frisk asks cautiously.

“Of course,” is all I say, smoothly dodging further explanation. “That leads me to asking why did you leave _your_ home in the first place if you want to get back so soon?”

Frisk’s fingers fumble around her left thumb as she starts to absentmindedly pick at the torn skin hanging off it. “Well... life hasn’t been the greatest ever since Dad died four months ago when he got hit by a car. They said he was killed instantly, so I guess it’s best that he didn’t suffer. I’m the youngest so my older siblings took it harder than I did, if only because they knew him longer… Mom felt it the worst.” She takes a shuddered breath and digs her bitten nails deeper into her skin. “My oldest sibling is my big brother, he’s nineteen, and my older sister… she _was_ seventeen.”

A tear slips out of Frisk’s eye and she immediately swipes it away. “That’s all I’d like to say about it for now.”

As much as I want to ask her more, I nod and drop the topic. I hope this shows I’m willing to give her space and respect, and hopefully, she’ll tell me more in the near future. “So what was it like in the Ruins? I’ve never been there since the doors are sealed shut on Snowdin’s side.”

Frisk gives me a grateful smile before she says, “Well, it’s really violet, and I mean _really_ violet. The walls, path, and ceiling are all several shades lighter than the color of your eyes. The monsters there are pretty bold, and a lot of them seem eager to fight. Toriel has a nice house, though, and the air always smells like pie. Have you met Toriel?”

“We talked once through the door, but I’ve never met her face-to-face.”

“Oh, she’s the best! Better than my mom could ever be! Especially after what she’s put my brother and I through,” Frisk suddenly snaps before she jumps in surprise as she realizes what she just said.

“Things went downhill pretty fast?” I ask lightly.

Frisk nods, “I’d say I’d rather have Undyne kill me several times before going through the past few months all over again.”

“I know what you mean,” I say before I remember who I’m talking to.

“So… you remember what happens even when time is Reset. Is that the magic you have?”

I can’t deny it now, but I can at least keep her knowledge limited. “Yep, that’s my magic.”

“How did you discover it?”

“Trial and error,” I shrug as if I barely put any thought into it.

“Is there a monster that can control time?”

Based on her tone, I get the sense she’s trying to make me admit it’s Flowey. I don’t doubt he probably bragged to her that he’s all-powerful or something ridiculous like that. If I do admit it, would that make me seem like a good ally?

I raise an eyebrow at her. “Is there a certain monster you’re thinking about?”

“Well… there was this flower that I encountered before Toriel found me. His name is Flowey and he said he was dying to manipulate someone new. He said I might have stolen some of his power, but that didn’t mean I was stronger than him. Do you know him?”

I smirk as I stare at the distant castle, “Unfortunately.”

“Is he capable of horrible things?”

“Yes… but that doesn’t mean you should give up fighting already,” I say, finally making eye contact with her.

“What did he do to you?”

“You know, you better keep moving if you want to get home soon,” I suddenly say as I quickly stand up and grab Cody. “I wouldn’t want to get caught out here by Undyne; she’s a skilled rock climber.”

Frisk nods and stands up, too, seemingly content to drop the conversation. I’m betting she’s not pushing for information only because she doesn’t want me to push her back.

“Which way do I go?” she asks.

I point in the opposite direction from where we came. “Straight to the end where you’ll have to climb up a ledge to continue. There’s a long path of docks where you might get twisted around, but they eventually end up at the garbage dump. After a few turns and many long rooms, you’ll make it to Hotland. Waterfall’s really expansive, but I think it’s the prettiest area of the Underground. I’ll catch up every now and then to see how you’re doing; I don’t want you to leave without saying goodbye.”

I give her a wink and she slightly smiles before asking, “What about Undyne?”

I sigh and glance at the ground, “Well-”

“Krista!” I suddenly hear Undyne’s voice, and my head snaps up to see her step out of the Raining Room. “How could you lie to me?”

“Run,” I say to Frisk as I shove her behind me.

“But what about-”

“Go!” I snap and she takes off as I face the Captain of the Royal Guard.

“You know, if I recall correctly, you said you were willing to kill another human. I should have guessed you didn’t have the guts to actually do it,” Undyne hisses.

“I know I’m a disappointment, but I’d like to think that caring for an innocent kid is the right thing to do,” I say, placing Cody on the ground.

Undyne chuckles and shakes her head, “We are _all_ innocent victims in one way or another, but that doesn’t excuse us from receiving pain we were always meant to endure.” 

“You mean like what those humans did to your dad?” I say without thinking.

Undyne’s pupil shrinks and her face darkens, “That’s a _very_ low blow, Krista.”

“No, wait I’m sorry, you’re meaning this rule only applies to _humans_ , that’s actually what it is. No, I totally agree then, looking back now, I really see how much I deserved-”

“You are _not_ going to finish that sentence!” she yells as she strides up to me in a few smooth steps.

I glare up at her as she towers over me and whisper, “I was only a year younger than her when I almost died. She just lost her dad and her sister within the past few months. Call me sensitive, but that hits way too close to home for me. Do you _honestly_ think I wouldn’t defend her?”

Undyne sighs, “And that’s the problem: you take the time to get to know people before you judge. With this job, I can’t give her the luxury of caring. I’m really sorry, Krista, but she has to die.”

I sense the attack before she moves, and I drop to the ground as one of her yellow spears shoots over my head. Unfortunately, that gives her the opportunity to leap over me to practically the other end of the path, and I whip around to see her sprinting out of the cavern.

“Damn it,” I hiss.

I’m about to take off after her when a voice chuckles behind me, “I’ve missed you, little Perseverant.”

“Now is not the time, Jex,” I snap as I look back to see him hanging out of a narrow cave entrance high up on the stone wall. The one wing he has is stuck, but his long neck stretches out as he smirks down at me. Cody presses into my leg, and I pick him up, immediately on the defense.

“Oh come on, isn’t this the best time? I’ll let you know that I looked through the Determination’s memories while you talked to her. You’ll be relieved to know she is completely innocent of any evil-doings. The only magic she has is time-related, and she has no knowledge of the one who wants her power. You’re doing the right thing by protecting her, but I suggest you get her out of the Underground before too much time has passed. _Chara_ is closing in.”

“I assume you’re counting this as your end of our bargain?” I ask, glaring at his smug face.

“Oh no, of course not. Let’s call it payment for my sister’s Death Vow. Which by the way, may I see it?”

“ _No_ ,” I hiss.

“Very well then,” he wriggles his way out of the cave and flaps his wing a couple times to land in front of me, making the path shake from the impact.

My throat tightens as he towers over me and I grit my teeth. “I thought you weren’t allowed out of the caves.”

“There are exceptions, like the fact that I have already interacted with you. Besides, our bargain opens up its own magical loopholes. Now let me see the Vow.”

“Fine,” I snarl, knowing he’ll force me to do it anyway. I put Cody on the ground and nudge him behind me to which he willingly obeys. I shove my sleeve up and show Jex my right arm, revealing the scabbed gash down the middle of my forearm and the ugly red veins spreading from it. “Happy?”

Jex smiles, “I didn’t think she’d be able to pull it off, but she did. I must say I’m proud of you, Lissaria.”

“ _Why thank you, dear brother_ ,” Lissaria says in my head and my fists clench in annoyance.

“I don’t have time for this,” I snap, shoving my sleeve down and turning my back on the Magic Whisperer.

“If I were you, I would keep that Death Vow in mind in the coming months. It might be a worthwhile escape,” Jex says, leaping in front of me with a sly grin.

“Do you want to tell me something because I get the sense you’re just _itching_ to let me in on a little secret,” I cross my arms and glare at him.

“Time has already run out. The path is set, Perseverant, and from what I’ve learned. You. Will. **Lose** . Unless you pull off some _real_ surprising magic tricks, you might as well enact the Vow right now and get out before hell truly begins.” 

“That’s very sweet, but you’ve given me no evidence that suggests I follow your advice. Now if you’ll excuse me,” I move to step around him and white-hot pain suddenly crackles across my skull like a blow to the head.

It is so sudden that I don’t yell, but I immediately slam my eyes shut and press my hands against my scalp. _What the hell?_ Another wave of pain crushes my chest and I collapse to the ground, suddenly unable to breathe. Cody nuzzles against me before growling at Jex, to which the dragon just snickers.

“I’m just giving you a _kernel_ of what’s to come. You think you’ve had it bad? You have _no idea_ what Chara is capable of. Her reign was never something that could have been prevented, and your survival means _nothing_ , even if it was unintentional.”

I gasp and force myself to look up at him, “What happened to all that respect you had for me? What’s this sudden certainty of my failure?”

“After looking through her memories, Frisk is _guaranteed_ to fall for Chara’s manipulations. I learned a long time ago how certain experiences and personalities mix into determining a person’s actions. Yours have made you afraid of your true abilities, which means you’ll never know what you’re capable of. You will die a miserable final death, empty of magic and entirely alone. While she may not look like it, Frisk carries far more hatred than you, and her power combined with the dead princess’ will be more than enough to utterly obliterate you and everything you care for. I truly am sorry about this, but you are not strong enough to win against them.”

I force myself up to my feet and stare him down, “You only speak in predictions, not certainties.”

“True, but I’d like to think I’ve lived long enough to be correct about most predictions. I encourage you to prove me wrong, but for now, I will wait for the Perseverant’s final stand. That is all I will say for now.”

He steps around me and I suddenly feel my magic flare as I sense something… _off_ about him. This… isn’t… _actually_ Jex. I lunge forward and my hand swipes air where his leg is supposed to be and he smiles, those golden eyes turning red.

“Clever, Krista, I thought I’d get away with it,” Chara says and the dragon disappears into the child in the yellow and green sweater. Cody yelps and he hides behind me as Chara gives me one of her winning smiles.

“How the hell-”

“I have suddenly gained an _immense_ amount of contact with the physical world. I’ve missed hurting you, Krista, and I’ve worked _tirelessly_ in trying out some new illusion magic for the near future. Not only can I change what you see, but also what you _feel_ . But don’t worry; when it comes to physical pain, I prefer to do it the old-fashioned way. The sight of blood is _so_ rewarding.”

“So, that was all you?” I ask, backing away from her. _Those_ eyes have haunted me for months, and all I think of are the corpses of my family whenever they show up.

“Impressive, isn’t it? Ask Lissaria if I had her fooled, too,” Chara giggles.

“ _Props_ ,” Lissaria grumbles and my throat tightens at the fact that _she_ was convinced. Or is this a trick? Is Chara working with the Whisperers?

“ _Of course not! We are merely bystanders_ ,” Lissaria argues and I jump when I hear a roar from the distant caves.

“Has a certain brat been impersonating me?” Jex asks, leaping up from somewhere in the Wastes.

Chara giggles, “If you weren’t so lazy, Jexlauorous, perhaps I wouldn’t be able to mess with your girl so much.”

Jex smirks as he approaches the apparition, “Even if you have your empire, you will never be able to control _me_. Good thing I know the child’s play of illusion magic all too well.”

“Now, Jex-”

He cuts her off by shooting out a ball of his black light fire, dissipating the image and her dark presence. When I first felt it, I had thought that was how I sensed the magic suppressed in Jex before. But it wasn’t, that was her influence from the Void, and now I have no way of telling _what_ she’ll do or when she’ll do it.

“It has been a while, Your Majesty,” Jex says with a smirk, snapping my attention back to him. “I see you’re already getting a taste of the horrors to come.”

“I realize that,” I say, unamused.

“Forget everything she said to you and keep this in mind: _we_ have hope,” Jex says sincerely.

Hope. Is that really all he can “give” me? Not magic, not advice, just a wishful thought? After all, the Whisperers seem to be very firm believers in remaining neutral to conflicts. It makes me feel like they’re all messing with me. Jex and Lissaria don’t care about me. They just want a good show, and I’m sure they’ll enjoy watching this little Perseverant die.

Jex’s eyes glitter with an emotion I can’t read as I’m sure he’s getting a sense of my current thoughts. He doesn’t deny my suspicious, but he also doesn’t confirm them. Neutral indeed.

“I thought you weren’t allowed out of the caves,” is all I mumble in response.

“I am not allowed out of _Waterfall_ , but I can leave the caves when I want to. I tend not to so I don’t disturb the monster population. Anything else?”

“No,” I shake my head and walk around him, back towards the Raining Room. I could try to catch up with Undyne, but there’s no way at this point. The best I can do is take the boat to Hotland and work my way back from there.

“Do you want to know how she did it?” Jex asks and I stop, facing away from him.

“Fine.”

“Every time Frisk dies, Chara has an opportunity to take away a piece of her power. It’s both the connection they have as Determination SOULs and Chara’s abilities in the Void. The more Frisk dies, the more chances Chara has of taking control. If the girl fights, maybe she can keep her power, but that will be difficult if she is not aware of Chara.”

“Got it,” I say numbly, picking up Frisk’s umbrella where she left it. I don’t care to go back for mine.

It _seems_ like it would be best to tell Frisk about Chara… but would she even believe me? Are there factors that could potentially lead to worse outcomes if she does know?

“Krista.”

“ _What_?” I finally snap, turning back to Jex. I can feel my emotions rapidly boiling to the surface; there are too many to comprehend so I fall back on the easiest one to convey: anger. It’s defensive, but at least it’s stronger than crying.

“Don’t give up too soon, and remember, if the magic feels… _empty_ , then it’s an illusion.”

“And how am I supposed to recognize _‘empty’_ magic?” I say even louder.

“Its aura will seem like a cloud of air,” he says calmly.

I squint at him as I think of what I just witnessed, and I realize how right that description is. Chara’s image of Jex didn’t seem to be as grounded as he actually is, and even the image of the girl herself wasn’t like the solid figure I encountered in the Void.

I take a deep breath and nod, “Thanks.”

His only response is a little bow with a smile before jumping down into the Wastes.

Cody whimpers and I look down at him, “Yes, puppy?”

He makes me pick him up and walk into the Raining Room before he speaks through his SOUL. “How can I help?”

“There’s nothing to help with,” I say, lifting him higher as I hold him in one hand and the umbrella in the other. “I just have to be less stupid and better at magic.”

“Two things that you already are,” he grumbles and I shake my head.

“No, I haven’t been hard enough on myself, and that’s why Chara’s so sure she’s gonna win. I should have _known_ that was her the second she showed up.”

“That was the first time you interacted with that kind of magic; it is _not_ your fault,” Cody argues.

I shake my head and put him on the ground to close the umbrella and toss it into the bin. “No, I should be better than that by now, but I’m not, which means I’ll never be good enough to defeat her.”

Cody barks as I turn to head down the path, and I almost stumble into Sans.

“Hey there, where have you been?” he asks.

I frown and throw a hand in Cody’s direction for him to explain as I feel a headache kicking in. I lean against the wall while Cody talks to Sans, unable to tell what he’s saying since I’m not touching his SOUL. It’s definitely for the best since I’m sure he’s tossing in words that are meant to convey that I’m not at fault, but I feel like I am.

Above all, I feel so stupid, so hopeless. Chara thinks the world is already hers, and I have no idea if it’s even possible to combat her. I’m not ready to give up, but at the same time, I don’t know how to win. She’s _always_ had control over me, and any small victory I’ve ever had has been through dumb luck, not knowing strategy.

“Well, maybe you’ll like my good news, at least,” Sans says when Cody’s through explaining. I lift my hand away from my eyes and raise a brow at him. “Frisk and Undyne are having a nice discussion at her house as we speak.”

“What?” I say, pushing away from the wall and feeling back at full alertness.

“Yep, I greeted Frisk with a warm handshake in Hotland, and she said Undyne chased her to the bridge. You know Undyne has little tolerance for the heat, and Frisk gave her a cup of water. Turns out the Captain didn’t know what to say so she left. I took Frisk to her house and said there’d be no greater challenge for Undyne to overcome than to be friends. With the way she is, I’d say Undyne has a sense of pride that will keep her from killing the kid.”

“You’re sure about that?” I ask, beginning to head down the path.

“Of course,” he says, falling into step beside me. “Now let’s take a break from all this worrying and get some lunch, I’d say we’ve earned it.”

I know he’s just trying to distract me, but the offer is too tempting for me to resist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're right back into it! A few upcoming chapters are going to be longer than usual because I had a hard time finding stopping points in them, but hopefully you guys will be okay with that since I won't be updating as often as before.


	3. Not So Different

Apparently, Undyne had  _ too  _ much fun with Frisk and ended up burning down her house. Or rather, fire just lives in her house now while the building remains intact. I really don’t understand the weird fire magic that stoves have down here. By the time we got to Undyne’s house, Frisk had gone while Undyne stood in front of the building, smirking. She said they were cooking and she got too carried away in showing off.

“I’m not too bothered by it, I was thinking about remodeling anyway,” Undyne shrugs as I stare at the building.

“So… you weren’t trying to kill her?” I ask.

“Nah, I actually asked her to fight me and she gave the most  _ pitiful  _ punch to the arm I’ve ever felt. I don’t hate her, she’s alright.”

“What about everything you said? Your duty as Captain?” I ask, unsure about her sudden change of heart.

“Yeah, well… she reminded me of a couple wimps I know, and you know what? I’m okay with letting her go. Sure, it’s been a thousand years since we’ve had a Determination human, and I’ll take the fall. But you’re right, she doesn’t deserve to die.”

“You’re a hundred percent serious right now?” I ask, glancing at Sans to see if he believes her, apparently he does.

Undyne chuckles, “Yes, and I’m sorry for fighting you; you were right.”

“I’m sorry, can I get a camera to record this historic event?” I ask, finally feeling a smile.

She shoves my shoulder, “Too late! Now let’s get something to eat; smelling all that smoke works up an appetite!”

***

We head to Grillby’s, and the first thing I notice is a TV placed in the right corner above the jukebox. I’m not surprised that Mettaton’s onscreen; I’m only surprised that Grillby finally bowed to the regulars’ wishes and installed a TV.

“It’s only temporary,” he mutters as he takes our order. “They say there’s a new kid causing all sorts of buzz, and they didn’t want to miss the show.”

I raise an eyebrow at his reference to a ‘new kid’; he can’t mean  _ Frisk _ , can he?

“Does he mean the new human?” Papyrus whispers and my other eyebrow rises at the fact that he asked out loud. Even though he doesn’t like Grillby’s as much as Sans does, he’s said multiple times that he’d rather eat with us here than in the City. While I appreciate his preference to stay with us, I often wonder if we’re holding him back.

“Well, who else would it be?” Undyne asks. “Not a lot of new people show up out of nowhere.” We all give her a pointed look since the three of us  _ did  _ show up out of nowhere, at least to the knowledge of the monsters, and she rolls her eye. “It’s true.”

As if on cue, what seems like a cooking show starts up onscreen and the camera centers right on Frisk’s face as she stands in the yellow and blue studio in Hotland.

“You’ve already seen this beauty on a game show, but how does she fare in a  _ cooking  _ show?” Mettaton announces as he stands behind the counter next to her, complete in a chef’s hat with a bright pink apron.

“He could have waited for  _ my  _ show,” Papyrus mutters and I smirk, that would have definitely been better odds for Frisk.

“Now today lovelies, we are going to make mini cupcakes! I have all the ingredients scattered around this kitchen; my new assistant just needs to collect them!”

Frisk makes a face, but she searches around the room for a grand total of three ingredients: eggs, milk, and flour. Papyrus seems agitated by the disregard for all the other ingredients, and he jumps out of the booth.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t allow this. That poor girl won’t understand how to make  _ good  _ cupcakes!” he says before running out of the pub.

I look to Sans to see if he thinks Papyrus should go, and he just leans back in the booth with a light smirk. “He’ll be fine, if anything, he’s just going to make a new friend.”

Grillby arrives with the food, and I point to Papyrus’ sandwich. “And who’s going to eat that, then?”

“I’ll take it to him,” Undyne says, grabbing the paper plate along with her cup of noodles and she takes off after him.

“Well then, all the action’s moving to Hotland,” I shrug, stirring my chocolate milk. “I guess we better get moving if we don’t want to miss all the fun.”

“We’ve got time, and besides, we could use the break,” Sans smirks as he grabs a handful of fries.

“Are you deliberately trying to get me to stay here?” I ask, only slightly suspicious.

“You know me so well.”

“Why this time?”

“Because I think you should give the kid some space. She’s surviving.”

“Oh really?” I ask, glancing up at the screen to see Mettaton chasing her with a chainsaw. “That doesn’t look like good odds to me.”

Sans slowly looks over his shoulder before turning back to me with an unworried expression. “Nah, she’ll be fine, you were.”

“He never chased me with a deadly weapon.”

“No, but magic is arguably worse. Calm down and help me eat these fries; I ordered too many.”

“You always do,” I frown, collecting the few fries that aren’t drowning in ketchup and tossing a couple to Cody.

“Maybe if you didn’t order such tiny portions, I’d feel less compelled to force you to eat more,” he raises an eye socket.

“Well, I can’t have much of an appetite when I’m worried,” I say, already finished with my mac and cheese in six bites.

“I had a feeling you’d freak out when the Determination arrived, but I didn’t think it’d push you  _ this  _ much,” he mumbles, taking a sip of lemonade.

“You  _ know  _ it’s not just Frisk,” I shoot back and Sans somehow bites down on his straw without  _ actually  _ biting it. I’ll never understand how that form of his magic works since he can’t open his mouth, but he can’t explain it either.

I push myself out of the booth and nod towards the door, “Can we go  _ now _ ?”

Sans sighs and drops two gold coins on the table, giving me a pointed look that says, “ _ See? I didn’t add to my tab for once _ .” I refrain from rolling my eyes as I check the TV. Now Mettaton’s doing a “news report” about a mysterious collection of hidden bombs that Frisk has “discovered” in Hotland. Could this day get any worse for her?

A blink later, we’re next to the first elevator in Hotland, and I move to press the button when Sans stops me.

“Krista, Cody told me a lot of what Chara said… but what’s bothering you the most?”

I scoff, “Does it really matter?”

“Yes because I know you’re obsessing over something specific.”

“Fine, then it’s practically everything: the fact that she easily made me believe she was Jex, the fact that she is  _ very  _ confident that she’s already won. I  _ know  _ she has plans to make us suffer, and Frisk is roped into this without a choice. Is that a good enough summary for you?”

Sans shoves his hands into his pockets as he tries to think of something to say. “Well… didn’t Xanvalus admit that the Void will disappear when the Barrier is broken?”

I look away as my frustration immediately denies the potential hope. “I don’t even know how true that statement is. At this point, it feels like everyone is trying to manipulate me.”

“But it’s a goal to focus on,” my brother lightly suggests.

His optimism makes my eyes snap back to his. “Yeah, and we don’t know whether or not that will kill Frisk in the process.”

“She’s heading for the Barrier anyway, the least we can do is  _ try _ . If she starts to feel pain, we pull her out of there.”

The disconnected reminder makes my face pale when I remember the last time I was at the Barrier. It feels so long ago, back when Sans was trying to stay as far away from me as possible. I’d like to think I have greater trust in my magic now, but what if it still turns against me?

“Or I will pull her out of there, don’t worry,” Sans says, snapping my attention back to him.

My mouth twists to the side in embarrassment that he remembers that weakness, and I hit the elevator’s “ _ up _ ” arrow to ignore it. The doors open and I hit  _ R3  _ for the top floor. Frisk should be in that area by now, and I want the rest of her story. What led her to jump into the mountain? Was she hoping for death like I was? Did she regret jumping when she woke up and now she’s trying to get home to make up for that? What kind of hell has her home life become?

My eyebrows scrunch when I think of the  _ similarities  _ to my own story, which makes me wonder…

No, Chara hasn’t gained the same kind of power as she did to manipulate my life. There’s no way she was suddenly able to find Frisk and cause that chain of events to bring her here…  _ right _ ?

The elevator doors open and Sans catches my shoulder. “I’ll let you talk to her alone. Cody and I will catch up with you in the City, okay?”

“Where do you think Papyrus and Undyne went?”

Sans smirks, “They’re probably waiting in the City, too, if they took the River Person’s boat. We can meet up at that jewelry store you like before heading to the Barrier.”

“Okay,” I reply, about to step out when he stops me again.

“One other thing… you remember all that stuff about LOVE and EXP?”

“Of course.”

“Well… it’s weird, after I shook Frisk’s hand, I could see this menu near her head that showed her LOVE and EXP. I’ve never seen yours or another monster’s, but for some reason, it was like some sort of magic clicked and I saw the numbers.”

“And?”

“They’re both zero, she hasn’t hurt anyone in any way.”

“You’re  _ sure _ ?”

“Certain.”

I bite my lip, considering the pros and cons of that fact. For one, it’s very good, by number standards she’s a better person than I am. But does that also mean she’s more susceptible to temptations? If she got a taste of the kind of power she is capable of, would she be more likely to fall for Chara’s lies?

“I guess that’s a good way to keep tabs on her; let’s hope those numbers remain zeros,” I say before stepping out of the elevator.

“I’d like to think they will,” Sans says, picking Cody up and hitting a button in the elevator.

“Your optimism is just all over the place today,” I frown. Wasn’t  _ I  _ playing the role of hopeful sibling just this morning?

He shrugs, “You know me, I have a difficult time forming opinions of people.”

Sans winks and the doors shut before I can respond, typical. I head down the path and take a right to go up the steps to MTT Resort. Chances are Frisk hasn’t made it this far, but if she doesn’t show up after a half hour at the most, I’ll head for the City.

I lean against the side of the blue brick building as I wait, suddenly feeling a strange sense of isolation. I guess it’s just because Cody’s not with me for once, but maybe it also has to do with Chara’s threats. Even though thinking over them does absolutely nothing to help me, I can’t stop. 

Should I come clean to Frisk and warn her? Or would that make things worse? Does Chara  _ want  _ me to reveal everything? I get the feeling that there are no right answers, just possibilities that lead to variations of disaster. Which path of those is the least destructive? It’s a question I certainly can’t answer. Honestly, of all the magic in existence, and I don’t have what could arguably be the most useful to me. However, I might smack myself for that thought when the magic I  _ do  _ have saves my stupid self. I should probably do it right now for how often it already has.

But the light echoes of footsteps on the rocky Hotland steps catches my attention and I straighten up. There’s always time to doubt and question myself later, but right now, I need to understand the Determination human.

“Hey Krista!” Frisk says, her bright eyes immediately locking onto mine when she spots me. “Man, Hotland was a wild ride!”

“Mettaton’s quite a character, isn’t he?” I ask, surprised by how easily my smile comes.

“Oh my  _ gosh _ , yes! I honestly don’t know if he loves me or if he wants to kill me.”

“Probably both.”

Frisk giggles, “And Miss Muffet! I thought her pet was gonna eat me, but a telegram from the spiders in the Ruins came just in time to make her like me.”

“There are spiders in the Ruins?”

“Yeah, I bought a couple of their donuts with the gold coins a lot of the monsters dropped. Seriously, I don’t know why they lose their change so easily, but I collected at least fifty Gs in the Ruins alone.”

“Huh, well I hope you saved your money because I’m inviting you to the MTT Restaurant,” I say, stepping around Frisk to lead her into the building. “It’s a very sophisticated place where you have to reserve everything, but don’t worry, they like me.”

“I guess you’ve built quite a reputation for yourself down here,” Frisk says as we walk into the resort.

“Sort of but I’ve always felt that the monsters tend to over-exaggerate. They call me a big star even though I’ve only been on TV twice.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re so unique?” Frisk asks in a cautious tone as we enter the restaurant. The host, a giant green fish, just smiles when he sees me and warns that I better leave in thirty minutes before a  _ reserved  _ party of twelve gets here.

“You got it, chief,” I reply before walking into the main dining room and picking a center table towards the back. “To answer your question, no, I don’t think it’s ‘uniqueness’ that makes them like me. Mettaton’s just good at making anyone feel like a star before reminding you that he’s the more ‘camera-friendly’ face.”

“But he spoke highly of you; he said you’re his co-star,” Frisk argues.

“True, but I don’t perform nearly enough to deserve the title,” I reply, taking a seat so I face the entrance to the restaurant. “But enough about me, you’re certainly in a good mood. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you willingly came to the Underground to experience all this.”

Frisk’s face pales and she immediately fidgets with her fingers before hiding them under the table. “I should have guessed this was going to be an interrogation.”

“Not exactly, but I’d like to know the full story of what led you here.”

Her face scrunches, “Well what about you? What kind of girl enters the Underground and stays with no intention of returning home unless she ran from something?”

I smirk, “Smart, turning it on me, but I’m not the one who’s worried about gaining your trust. If anything, you should be hoping to gain  _ mine _ . We might not be in Snowdin anymore, but I am still a guardian of the monsters. So tell me, Frisk, what led you down here? A bad home life? I’ll admit that’s what led  _ me  _ down here.”

Her throat bobs and her eyes drift down to the purple tablecloth. “Yes, it’s because of my mom.”

I fold my arms over each other on the table, waiting, and Frisk hunches her shoulders under the weight of my critical gaze. Maybe I’m being too harsh, but how else would this girl admit something that’s probably traumatized her? The thought makes my throat dry as I remember this tactic has been used on  _ me _ . 

Oh God. Am I really taking a page out of  _ Gaster’s  _ book to get information? Regret and disgust warm my cheeks, but it’s too late as the girl begins to recount the miseries.

“After my dad died, my sister began to withdraw. She stopped talking to us; she stayed in her room most of the day and ignored her responsibilities. Aubree, that was her name, she… she told me to go to hell when I told her I was worried. No one was closer to Dad than her; she always looked to him for advice since she never really got along with Mom. I think his death broke her.

“I started finding razors in the trash and… blood on the bathroom carpet. I tried so many times to talk to her, and she always said I didn’t understand because I was just a dumb kid. On top of that, Mom started getting… abusive. She never hit us… until  _ yesterday _ , but at first, it was just ugly words. She attacked my brother, Brennon, the most since he protected me from receiving the worst she had to offer.

“About a month ago, Aubree kind of… disappeared for two days. We knew she was in her room, but she never opened the door no matter how many times I begged. Finally, Brennon couldn’t stand it anymore and he broke down the door. She was lying on her bed and…  _ God _ , there was so much blood. The whole room smelled like blood and…  _ death _ .”

Frisk finally looks away and lets her hair shadow her face to keep me from seeing her tears. I’m about to say something when she keeps going, fighting her trembling voice.

“The doctor said she’d been dead for a whole day… Mom didn’t seem to care. We didn’t even have a funeral for Aubree, just a burial. Things got worse, and even though life was unbearable at home, I couldn’t bring myself to go to school anymore. It’s not like any of those kids or teachers cared about me; I’ve never been good at making connections with people anyway. I’ve mostly been hiding in my room for the past few weeks while Brennon’s taken Mom’s punishment. Sometimes, I’ve tried to stay with him, but he’s always shoved me back. 

“I don’t know what finally made Mom snap… but last night was the worst I’d ever seen her. She found out I’d been skipping school and… she threw me out of bed in the middle of the night and hit me in the face for that. Brennon immediately ran into the room and pushed Mom back, which just made her angrier. We ran downstairs, trying to get away, but it was like some sort of animal awakened in Mom. She moved  _ so  _ fast, and she… she grabbed the largest knife in our kitchen and came after us. Brennon threw me outside and locked the door, telling me to get as far away as possible. I… I ran, but I looked back for a split second. I… I saw blood on the window, but I’m not sure whose it was. I- I’d  _ like  _ to think I imagined it, but I know what I saw.

“I didn’t think then, I just kept going and going. We live near the edge of the city, on the north side. Logic says I should have gone for the highway, right? But I didn’t, I went south, and I kept going until I saw the shadow of the mountain. It was like some sort of…  _ force  _ was calling me, like I was meant to go there. So I jumped without a thought and immediately regretted it. I felt so selfish; I left my brother behind and he could already be dead. But I don’t know that for sure… that’s why I have to get back. I  _ need  _ to know. If Brennon survived, then I’ve got a lot of apologizing to do. If Mom survived… then I need to do everything I can to make her pay for the pain she’s caused us.”

Frisk takes a shuddered breath as she finishes her sentence, and she lifts her fidgeting hands to reveal she’s picked the skin clean off the side of her left thumb, causing blood to trail down into her palm. She doesn’t seem to care as she clenches her hand into a fist and shrugs, “It’s the least I deserve.”

I try to find the right words to say to her. Apologizing means nothing, asking more questions is just downright cruel… but would sharing some of my story help? Would it show that I understand how she feels?

“Does that answer all your questions?” Frisk asks dryly and I nod.

“Yes… sorry I was so invasive.”

“Well… I guess it does feel a little nice to tell someone. I feel like a strange weight has lifted off my shoulders, just a little bit.”

Her eyes lower to the table before she snaps them up to me. “Could you share…  _ some  _ of what led you here? I know I have no right to ask… since you’ve been here longer.”

I sigh, feeling enough guilt that I know which specific details I practically owe to her after all she’s told me. “When I was seven, my mom died and my dad changed into a different person, like your mom. He became physically violent very fast, and it didn’t help that he also became an alcoholic. I had a sister who was ten and I was fifteen when the day came that my father finally snapped. In summary, they’re both dead now, and I ended up down here. I’ve had a lot of time to think about that day, and certain circumstances have changed my view of it. But all in all, it’s a day so vivid that I’ll probably always remember it like it was yesterday.”

Frisk’s eyes widen at my nonchalant tone, and her face twists into an expression that seems like guilt. “So… you didn't stay down here because you ran from something. You stayed down here because you had nothing to go back to.”

I shrug, “I guess that's a way to look at it.” Even though I actually  _ did _ run like a coward. Even though I  _ didn't  _ have a choice to stay or leave those first four months. But I  _ have _ had one ever since. My fear of the Barrier wouldn't be enough to hold me back if I  _ really _ wanted to leave. But there have been so many factors at play that I haven't found the desire to go back. I found a sense of happiness down here, and I can't imagine leaving it behind. Or more specifically, I can't leave  _ them _ behind.

“I uh, met a skeleton earlier that said he was your brother; I’m guessing he didn’t mean that literally.”

“Obviously it’s not biological, but we’ve been through enough together that we’re practically siblings. You haven’t met Papyrus yet, but he’s our other sibling. When I first arrived here, they were the first monsters I met. They were in their own rough patch, and we needed each other to get to a better place. You can’t survive alone in this world, and I’ve found that if I can’t have my family by blood, then I’m going to find one in friendships. The boys are my best friends, but our relationships are better defined as ones of siblings. Now, no one’s going to change my mind, they’re my brothers, and I’m content with where I’ve ended up.”

“Even without your little sister?” Frisk asks.

My throat dries, but I’m not surprised by the question, it’s one I’ve asked myself numerous times. “You know, a lot of other bad things happened that led to that, and I can’t change the past, so I might as well find happiness with the present. I know the experiences are still fresh, but no matter where you end up in the near future, try to be happy with it. I’ve spent  _ months  _ being miserable, and they were some of the worst of my life. If there’s anything I can teach you with my four extra years of life experience, don’t wallow in the ‘could-haves.’ The only way you can be happy again is if you accept what happened and find the good things you still have.”

A small part of me feels like a hypocrite for saying it, since all I’ve ever done is replay those memories over and over, trying to think of what I could have done differently. Sure, I’m happier now, I’ve kept most of my focus on the good things, but death and pain have been too prominent in my life for me to truly ignore them.

Amazingly, a small smile inches onto Frisk’s face and she nods. “I see what you mean. Even if I find the worst scenario when I get back home, everything will eventually be okay. Dad would want me to be happy… so would Aubree.”

On that note, I find myself pushing my chair back and standing up, suddenly very eager to give her space. This is Frisk’s adventure, a brief respite from the horrors she’s dealt with in the past few months. The most I can give her is the space to find excitement and happiness in the remaining areas of the Underground. Her confession also finalizes my opinion of her: she doesn’t deserve to die; she deserves the chance to put the past behind her and move on.

“Then I wish you well on the rest of your journey,” I say, holding out my hand. This time, she gives me a firm shake. “See you at the Barrier?”

She smiles, “Hopefully sooner, I’d like to meet your other brother.”

“How about this: I’ll take you on a tour of the City. I don’t know if you’re into girly things, but Undyne and I know some great gem shops.”

Frisk’s eyebrows rise, “ _ Undyne _ likes girly stuff?”

“Well, not as much as I do, but she’s surprisingly a close second.”

Frisk slowly nods, her dark eyes suddenly sparkling like rubies. “That sounds fun, lead the way.”

We start to head out of the restaurant, and Frisk gives me a side glance, as if she’s finally deciding her opinion of me. “Thank you… for listening and for making me talk in the first place. I don’t know if I could tell anyone else about the past few months of my life, and it’d probably drive me crazy at some point. I would’ve overthought everything and most likely ended up hating myself for never doing enough. I’m so used to being the quiet little kid that I honestly don’t think anyone would’ve ever cared to know what I’ve been through. So thank you, it was the therapy session I never knew I needed.”

Her gratitude surprises me, especially since I feel like a jerk for forcing a confession out of her.  _ I  _ certainly didn’t feel grateful after Sans pushed me to explain the day I lost everything. It makes me wonder if Frisk is a little more mature than I am.

We exit the restaurant and I head for the elevator on the other side of the resort lobby, surprised to see a group of monsters clumped around it. I’m not sure how to respond to Frisk’s thanks other than a nod of acknowledgement, and I use the situation as an excuse to move on from the conversation.

“What’s going on?” I ask a white cat-like monster wearing glasses and red heels.

“The elevator stopped working so we can’t get to the capital. I’m worried the wait’s gonna be for at least two more hours,” the cat says with a frown.

“Well, why don’t we go through the Core?” Frisk asks, looking to our left to the double doors with “ **CORE** ” shining above them in bold letters.

My throat tightens as I remember Asgore’s explanation in his diary how this resort is meant to be a pleasant buffer between Hotland and the Underground’s energy source. I haven’t been in the Core since Gaster fell… almost an entire year ago. Even though the experience wasn’t as traumatic as the horrors I survived in the lab, would I still freak out the same way?

A sudden spike of anxiety tells me I really,  _ really  _ don’t want to find out.

“There are other elevators we could take,” I suggest.

The cat rolls her eyes, “Yeah, if you wanna walk an extra mile.”

“Wouldn’t that take less time than waiting another two hours?” I shoot back.

She shrugs, “I’m wearing  _ heels _ , girl. My poor feet can only take so much.”

Frisk’s eyes drift back to the Core doors, “What’s so bad about going through the Core?”

“Ugh, it’s so hot and noisy in there. And the path is always changing for ‘security measures.’ Seriously, whatever genius that designed that thing didn’t consider how many factors would be inconveniences for the rest of us,” the cat whines.

“It can’t be too bad, right?” Frisk asks.

I bite the inside of my lip and force a halfhearted smile. “I can tell you really wanna explore it. So why don’t you go ahead? I’ll meet you at the Royal Garden; it’s in the center of the City. You can’t miss it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, go ahead, just don’t get lost,” I warn and she smiles before turning and heading out the doors.

“So are you gonna wait two hours?” the cat asks me and I roll my eyes.

“What’s been tried so far?” I ask, weaving around the handful of monsters and stepping up to the elevator’s double doors.

“Well-” a black slime monster starts as I press the “ _ up _ ” arrow and the doors freely open.

“Did someone try that?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“I… don’t recall,” the monster stumbles and I shrug, unsure if I should blame anyone.

“I’ll just see if it works, then,” I say, stepping inside and pressing the button with the highest number. The doors slowly seal shut, and the elevator takes off at an undetectable speed.

When the elevator stops, the doors open to that same ancient-looking hallway, the one leading to Lissaria’s hiding spot.

“I believe a thank-you is merited, for giving you a break from pretending to be friends,” Lissaria chuckles, her haunting voice echoing through the halls rather than the clear sharpness in my head that I’m used to.

I walk down the hall with my head held high, attempting to fight back the intense dread I suddenly feel. Lissaria and I have never met face-to-face aside from the day I earned the Death Vow. I’m not sure if that was all in my head or she actually teleported me here, but aside from that, this is the first time I’ll actually meet the creature with a claim on my life. I’m not surprised it was she who stopped the elevator; that’s why it wasn’t even worth trying to run somewhere else.

“I wasn’t trying to get away from her,” I say as I turn the corner and look down the right stairwell to see the dark red dragon.

She smiles, “No, but you were suddenly very terrified of entering the Core. Either way, I did you a favor.”

“Judging by that group of monsters, you wanted me to come here even before that.”

“Yes, I figured it was time we finally met for real without any distractions.”

“My family members are not distractions,” I snap, knowing she’s referring to them.

“Fine, then I wanted to meet before the Barrier is broken. There are some things you should know about my fellow Whisperers.”

I cross my arms and Lissaria smiles, placing her wicked claws on the steps to inch closer to me. I notice her movement, and I take a step back, distrusting of the creature that holds so much love for manipulating others.

“That’s a bold assumption to think Frisk will break the Barrier.”

“Don’t be so na ï ve, Krista. You know Asgore won’t let another Determination slip through his fingers. A thousand years in prison generates immeasurable amounts of desperation; I of all creatures would know. No matter what happens, the Barrier  _ will  _ be broken  _ today _ . How does it feel to know that? Can you see the sunlight already?”

The certainty in her voice makes my skin crawl, and I tense at the thought of that reality. I’m not ready. I am not ready  _ at all _ ... and what will happen to Frisk? It makes me remember the wish I made before my birthday and how the flower’s change in color meant a sacrifice will have to be made to make it come true. Who’s going to pay that price?

“Ah, afraid of the possibilities, Your Majesty?” Lissaria muses.

“So what do I need to know about the other Whisperers?” I ask, shoving away her taunt.

The dragon flashes her yellow teeth in amusement, “You look so much like a queen, standing there. I’ll enjoy watching you lead the monsters to peace… before everything goes back to hell. Hopefully, in the very end, peace will prevail, but that is only if you can overcome Chara’s power. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to accomplish that, Perseverant. History says it’s impossible, but I’ve found that every new generation says a curse to the past and surprises the world. Can you do it?”

“Did you bring me here just to taunt me? Or are you trying to make me doubt myself?” I hiss, straightening my spine even more.

“Of course not, I know you doubt yourself enough already. I’ve really just wanted to see you as you are. No magic, no mind-reading, just the Perseverant the world sees. I’ll need that when convincing Wenzandrik to stay the hell away from you.”

“ _ What _ ?”

“While the four of us are quite…  _ tame  _ when it comes to how we use our abilities, Wenzandrik is a special case. He is the youngest of us five, which means his powers are more unpredictable. He has the least amount of restraint, and he will most likely try to devour you the second he sees your vicious experiences. I suggest you stay as far away from him as possible, or at least… stick by me so he won’t hurt you. Cyfalian may be the weakest, but he has remarkable patience, unlike our youngest member. Yriett on the other hand, has the sweetest heart a Whisperer could ever have; she will cause you no harm.”

“And this is all you had to tell me?” I ask dryly, unsurprised by the information.

Lissaria smirks, “I would think you’d be more concerned considering  _ Sans  _ will be at risk, too.” My throat tightens, but I simply tilt my head in question, already predicting what she’ll remind me of. I’m sure she's reading my thoughts as her smile widens. “While your youngest brother will be safe since he does not have his own memories of those days,  _ Sans  _ could very well be thrown through a session’s worth of hell by Wenzandrik.”

“I won’t allow that,” I choke out.

“How? Only the most powerful of humans have been able to combat us. Are you truly that strong?” Lissaria asks, creeping up the steps.

“I am strong when I have to be,” I say, forcing myself to remain still as she reaches the top of the steps and towers over me.

“Really?” she smirks before switching to speaking in my head.  _ “Then overcome this!” _

A memory hits me so powerfully that I can’t even process what it is as Lissaria’s jaws lunge for me. I drop to the ground and roll down the hall, squeezing my eyes shut as sparks burst in my vision. I have no idea what the memory was, but it disorients me enough that I barely have time to look over my shoulder to see her lunge again. This time, some instinct tells me I can’t move fast enough, and my magic takes over as I throw my hands out to protect myself.

I hear a shriek, but I ignore it as I push myself to my feet and run for the elevator. Of course, the doors are sealed and they refuse to open when I hit the single “ _ down _ ” arrow.

“Heh-heh-heh, you’re  _ good _ , little Perseverant. I think you’ll handle Wenzandrik just fine, especially since someone you actually  _ care  _ about will be at risk.”

I whip around to see Lissaria hunched at the end of the hallway, the red scales on her chest glowing purple as the scent of burnt flesh fills the air. She winces before smiling broadly as the purple fades and the flesh begins to darken back to her natural shade. However, the scales keep getting darker until there’s a malformed shape on her chest that’s slightly darker than the rest of her.

“If you’re willing to hit that hard to save your  _ own  _ life, then I’m actually a little scared for Wenzandrik and Chara when they go after your family. You have my respect, Krista, but you have yet to prove the  _ true  _ strength of your royal lineage. Don’t disappoint Xanvalus and Jex;  _ show us _ what you’re willing to do for freedom. Maybe then, I’ll actually be too scared to mess with you.”

She huffs one more laugh before turning and disappearing down her stairwell. I walk to the end of the hall, feeling a flash of fury at her test, but when I turn the corner, she’s gone.

“ _ Do you miss me already? Oh my dear Krista, I am always with you _ ,” Lissaria snickers through the Vow and my hands clench into fists.

“That was an excellent waste of my time,” I hiss, turning for the elevator when Lissaria tuts in my head.

_ “I wouldn’t go that way, sweetheart. Your new friend is on her way out of the Core already. Don’t you want to see all the excitement in the capital? Mettaton has quite a show planned… or should I say execution?” _

I grit my teeth and snap, “Fine!”

I head up the left staircase and travel all the way to New Home’s largest stage, my anxiety rising as I go in fear of what Frisk is dealing with. I shouldn’t have left her, but of course, my own cowardice is still too powerful to resist.

When I finally reach the backstage hallway after about ten minutes, my eyebrows rise when I see the stage is empty. Wouldn’t Frisk be here if Mettaton put on a show to kill her? I walk to the end of the hall and peek out into the City. Down the steps, where the courtyard is supposed to be, an elevated stage towers over the crowd. The figures in the center of it all make me freeze as my mind tries to process the sight onstage. Mettaton lies in pieces, his face distraught as Frisk kneels next to him with her own expression of guilt.


	4. An Honest Nightmare

I can’t hear what they’re saying from this distance, but Mettaton suddenly smiles and gives Frisk a wink. She gives him a sad smile back and picks up a phone sitting next to her on the ground. The stage lowers, but nobody moves as it continues to lower under the courtyard. Stone doors slide together once the makeshift stage is underneath them, sealing it deeper underground. 

The crowd begins to disperse and I back into the hallway, not wanting to get recognized. I don’t know what happened, but I’m sure the people will see Frisk as some sort of criminal for what she did. How did that even happen? Did she get so desperate that she used her magic and dismantled Mettaton? However, based on the monsters’ smiles, it was actually an entertaining spectacle. Did they get enjoyment out of seeing Mettaton fall apart? Do they see Frisk as a new, better celebrity?

Maybe I’m only thinking in negative interpretations; I should just ask people what happened. Did Sans or Papyrus see-

“Sneaking around?” a familiar voice asks behind me and I jump, turning to face Sans.

“Can you  _ not _ ?” I snap, rubbing a hand over my racing heart.

“Sorry,” he chuckles unapologetically, “but it’s just too easy.” 

“Where were you?” I ask, shoving my hands in my coat pockets.

“In the crowd with Papyrus and Undyne; Cody’s with them right now. I said I was going to see where you were. Did you have a nice talk with Frisk?”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘nice,’ but I did get answers.”

“How’d you end up back here?”

Lissaria’s eyes flash in my mind, and I deflect the question. “Were you the only one who saw me?”

He smiles, “I think I’ve got my own ‘sibling radar’ to find you now. It’s not as accurate as Papyrus, but I can find you in a crowded room. So how’d you get back here?”

I sigh, feeling too exposed with the City looming nearby. Even though we’re practically guaranteed to be unheard, I don’t feel entirely safe. “How soon do they think you’ll be back?”

Understanding suddenly flickers in his eyes and we’re standing in the Judgement Hall a blink later. “If my guess is accurate, Frisk should come this way soon. Papyrus and Undyne won’t care if it’s a whole hour until I get back; you know how easily I lose track of time,” he smirks.

“But what if Frisk goes into the City?”

He squints, “If she wants to get home as much as she says she does, then Frisk won’t go down there.”

I consider the chances, suddenly unsure if Frisk might feel hesitant to go home. I guess that’s the one good factor I have, the certainty that the family I had up there is dead. Frisk doesn’t know if either of them survived; is she terrified to learn the truth?

“Let me guess, you’re wondering how she’s gonna face Asgore?” Sans asks, breaking my train of thought.

“No, but you suddenly gave me something new to worry about,” I respond, realizing with immediate worry how the king will react to her.

“Well, why don’t you try to talk to him?” Sans asks lightly.

“I really don’t think he’ll listen; all I can do is make him feel a little guilty.” Sans raises an eye socket and I roll my eyes. “Fine, do you think he’s in the Throne Room?”

“Doesn’t he water the flowers around this time of day?”

I shrug, supposing it’s worth a shot to look. I start to head for the other end of the Hall when Sans clears his throat. I roll my eyes and look back at him, “What?”

“You didn’t explain how you got backstage,” he says, faking a meek tone.

I put my hands on my hips and say, “Lissaria. I got to meet her face-to-face, and she tried to bite my head off. So much for that promise about allowing me to enact the Death Vow.”

Sans’ eyes black out and I drop my hands, figuring he deserves a more detailed explanation with a reaction like that. I never expect him to be too worried when I tell him about the experiences I’ve survived, yet every time, he reacts with immediate worry and anger. It makes me feel guilty to doubt how much my brother cares about me.

I explain what happened in more detail, from the “broken” elevator to her disappearance back down her stairwell. I don’t even omit her threats about her expectations of Wenzandrik… and what she thinks he’ll try to do to Sans. 

“If he gets in your head… try your best to remember that they’re only memories. I don’t have any advice beyond that since I’ve never found a way out myself. It’s… jarring, to say the least. It feels like you’re experiencing the memory for the first time, and you actually could if he finds things you’ve forgotten. I… I don’t know if there’s any way to protect yourself beyond trying your best to stay in reality.”

Sans frowns as he considers my pathetic advice before simply nodding. “I’ll be okay. I’ve lived through them before; I can do it again.”

“You’re not gonna try to fight him?”

“Oh, I definitely will… but I don’t expect to win against a Magic Whisperer. If they can get you so easily, how can I hope to escape?”

“My magic isn’t any better than yours,” I argue.

He smirks, “Really, Krista? You’re gonna try to argue  _ that _ ?”

His self-doubt makes my face twitch in anger, and he merely points to the Hall’s exit. “Now go talk to the king; it’s my turn to have a conversation with Frisk.”

“Do you want to know what she told me?” I ask.

He shrugs, “Nah, it’ll give me a bias. I’d rather judge without any knowledge of her beyond what she’s done in the Underground.”

“Like destroying Mettaton?” I raise an eyebrow.

Sans waves a hand as if it was nothing. “Alphys will have him fixed up in no time. All that drama and action sent his ratings higher than they’ve ever been. Trust me, he of all people will think it was worth it.”

“Okay, even if that was a positive thing, why don’t you want to know anything more about Frisk?”

“Her past is her past; the choices she makes today are what matter.” He turns away and shoos me down the Hall. “Now quit stalling; go talk to him.” 

I smirk and turn around to leave the Judgement Hall, noting how Sans said he’s going to  _ judge  _ Frisk. Real subtle, buddy.

I make my way to the Throne Room, unsurprised to find Asgore watering the flowers.

He faces away from me, but his head lifts when he hears my footsteps. “Oh, just a moment; I have almost finished watering these flowers.”

“I have an issue that’s a bit more pressing than the health of your flowers, no offense,” I say in a light tone, giving him the impression that the problem isn’t as important as it actually is.

He turns with a raised eyebrow, holding a light green watering can. “Oh? And what is that, dear?”

“You haven’t heard? Did you not see the performance in the City?” I ask innocently, wondering how no one has told him that the  _ Determination human _ is here.

“No, I do not visit the City on Fridays. Has something happened?”

I take a deep breath, “I can’t believe I’m the first person to tell you this… but the Determination human has arrived. She got here last night, in fact.”

His pupils shrink and his grip tightens on the watering can. The king holds my gaze for several seconds before saying, “I suppose you are here to defend her.” 

“I only ask that you do not kill her; I already expect you to try to take her SOUL.”

“But there is no guarantee that she won’t die if her SOUL is used on the Barrier. I cannot promise that she will live,” Asgore says with true sorrow in his voice.

My throat tightens as I try to think of valid reasoning to not risk it, but I find none. Letting Frisk live equates to remaining in the Underground, and she can only go home by taking a monster’s SOUL with her. In any end, somebody loses, but who’s willing to accept their loss? Frisk? Asgore? Certainly not all of monsterkind. Is there nothing that can be done? Is there any scenario in which no one has to die or suffer? But then again, when has there ever been a time when a price hasn’t been paid?

“Please, is there any other way?” I ask softly, feeling stupid for even asking.

Asgore sighs, “Unfortunately, there is not. Seven SOUL traits are the Barrier’s cost, and I wish I could personally pay the price for all of them… but I cannot. We have lost Determination before, and my people have been imprisoned long enough. You can hate me for this all you want, Krista… but I  _ must  _ take her SOUL.”

His resolve makes my magic flicker with anger, but I hide the small burst of power with a nod. “Of course,  _ Your Majesty _ ,” I practically snarl, using his title like an insult.

I turn to leave the Throne Room and spot Frisk standing in the entrance, her face tight with distress. I’m about to say something when she runs up and wraps her arms around me. She’s slightly shaking, but her voice is strong as she whispers, “Thank you, for fighting for me.”

I don’t know what to say in response, so I just hug her back, surprised to realize we’re almost the same height. She pulls away and gives me a sad smile, her eyes lightly shining with tears. “For what it’s worth, today was the best day I’ve had in a long time, and I am glad to have met so many wonderful people.”

Then she steps around me and walks toward the king, as if reaching him was her goal all along; I guess it was. Asgore’s face crumbles at the sight of her, probably ashamed that he will kill a girl so young and innocent, but Frisk holds her head high.

“I so badly want to offer you a cup of tea, but… it seems you already know where the path leads,” Asgore says, placing the watering can on the ground. He backs away and heads to the Throne Room’s exit. “When you are ready, come into the next room.”

He disappears and Frisk immediately begins to follow, so confident, so determined. I don’t know what I can do to fix this, to have some sort of guarantee that she’ll live, but it seems like everyone else has already made up their minds. So it surprises me when Frisk stops at the exit and looks back at me. “If you remember, could you find out if my mom or brother survived? We live on 167 North Street; it’s a little blue house with yellow shutters. My last name is Ebott.” I’m about to say something when she just smiles, “I know, there are no confirmed records, but I’m guessing my ancestors founded the city. Maybe I’ve always been destined for greatness.”

Then she turns away and disappears into the darkness of the next room, willing to accept her fate at the Barrier.

What do I  _ do _ ? Should I really just let them go? Allow Frisk to die so I will selfishly be able to return to the Surface? Then again, this isn’t just about me; it’s about all of monsterkind. They’ve been trapped down here for centuries; is Frisk’s life worth the freedom they’ll gain?

“Hey, you alright?” Sans asks behind me and I shake my head.

“No… I  _ can’t  _ be alright, not when that girl is about to die in the next room,” I mutter, turning away and walking past him. I keep going until I reach the Judgement Hall, and he shortcuts in front of me, stopping my path to nowhere.

“Krista… she said she’s accepted it, and if Frisk is at peace, then you should be, too.”

“It shouldn’t have to be this way,” I snap, backing away from him.

His face darkens, “Lots of things have happened that should’ve been different, but they happened anyway. Yes, it’s unfair, but she won’t be the only human SOUL to have died down here.”

“And that makes it okay?”

“Not at all, but I’m reminding you that it’s the way things have been and were always meant to be. And if she doesn’t die, then it will just be someone else.”

I bite my lip and wrap my arms around me, reminding my stupid self that I’ve always known this. The Determination human was meant to die, and if not by Asgore’s hand, then by  _ Chara’s _ . Isn’t this the better alternative?

“Come on, Krista. Let’s head back to the others; we’ll figure out what to do from there,” Sans coaxes like I’m a disturbed animal.

“I… need to be alone for a bit,” I mutter, feeling immensely defensive all of a sudden. I glance behind me and spot the Hall’s darkest corner, feeling a sudden desire to hide in it and stare at the wall for a bit. It’s the perfect place for me to agonize over what the near future holds in light of Frisk’s death.

“You’re going to do this?” Sans asks bitterly and my eyes finally snap up to his.

“ _ What _ ? What do you mean by  _ ‘this _ ’?” I ask with an anger I haven’t directed at my brother in a long time.

“You isolate yourself every time you’re angry about something, specifically when you’re angry at  _ yourself _ . And what happens? I’m left trying to find out what you did and how I can try to convince you that you’re not to blame. But I  _ know  _ you think I’m lying. You’re so  _ convinced  _ that everything is your fault in one way or another that nothing I say seems to matter. But you know what that means? That means you  _ must  _ have the power to make everything right. That means you  _ must  _ be strong enough to protect everyone from harm and you choose not to.  _ Right _ ? How can you expect that of yourself when you know you can’t fix everything?”

“I should be better.”

“And you have been! But none of us are strong enough to make everything right. So stop destroying yourself every time something like this happens. Why can’t you accept it and move on?”

“ _ Someone _ should feel bad about it,” I mutter, my left hand clenching my Death Vow.  _ That  _ is something I deserve. What I don’t deserve is Sans’ love or his insistence that I’m as innocent as Frisk. There is blood on my hands, and I am a despicable creature because of that.

Sans scoffs and shakes his head, “Fine, be this way. But don’t expect me to heal any wounds you inflict upon yourself.  _ They  _ truly are your fault. I’ll see you at the house when you’re done hating yourself.” 

He shortcuts away and I take a deep breath, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes. Of course he’s right; he’s always right in situations like these.

“Man, talk about  _ brutal _ ,” Flowey snickers behind me, and I whip around to point a sword at his grinning face. “Whoa there, calm down. I’m as upset about Frisk’s death as you are. Where am  _ I _ supposed to go on the Surface?”

“You can go to hell right now and not have to worry about it,” I snap, falling into a cold rage.

“Eh, not yet. There are a few things I still have to do,” he smirks before dropping underground.

My head immediately turns towards the Throne Room; he’s going to try something that will ruin everything. I don’t know if it’s to save Frisk or kill her in his own way, but things will go infinitely worse if Flowey’s involved.

I take off in a sprint, shoving away every emotion from the past few minutes into unfeeling focus. I can’t feel guilt or doubt or hate; I can’t limit my magic just because I’m feeling bad about myself. Whatever he’s going to try, I need to be as strong as possible, if only because I owe it to everyone to make my worthless self as useful as I can be.

I make it through the Throne Room just fine, but when I reach the middle room, the one leading to the Barrier, I freeze. Fear squeezes my chest as I stare at the end of the hall, to the left turn into the Barrier room.

_ Come on, Krista. You have to do it! _

That strange force inside me, the  _ need  _ to keep going, to do what I must, propels me forward. I walk to the end of the hall and turn the corner, feeling every nerve in my body tense as I look into the room of unending black and white. The sight before me makes my throat tighten as Asgore kneels in front of Frisk, a hand near his heart.

“This war has gone on long enough. You have the power, take my SOUL and leave this cursed place,” he tells her.

Frisk shakes her head and her shoulders slump. “As much as I wish to know what happened to my family, I can live without knowing. Your life is not worth that.”

The king’s eyes widen, “After everything I have done to hurt you… you would rather stay down here and suffer than live happily on the Surface?”

Frisk nods, her body rigid with determined resolve.

“Human, I promise you, for as long as you live here, my wife and I will take care of you as best as we can. We could sit in the living room, telling stories, drinking tea, and eating butterscotch pie. We could be like… like a family.”

I loose a breath as Frisk says, “I’d like that.”

No one had to die after all.

But then numerous white dots of light circle around Asgore and slam into his body, dusting him instantly. Only his SOUL is left, a white upside-down heart that Flowey plunges one final friendliness pellet into. The flower pops out of the ground and gives Frisk a winning smile.

“You  **_idiots_ ** , neither of you have learned a thing,” he yells and Frisk turns to see me standing in the entrance, still too scared to step into the Barrier room.

“In this world,” Flowey says and I gasp as the six human SOULs surround him in a circle. How did he get them!? “It’s  _ kill _ or  **be killed** !” he yells, his face melting into black eye sockets and a grotesque smile that curves up into his eyes.

The SOULs move closer to his body, and I sprint into the Barrier room, forgetting any sense of fear as I only focus on  _ getting them away from him _ . But I’m too late as Flowey laughs and he absorbs all six.

***

The world blacks out completely, and then it crushes me into the non-existent ground, forcing me to keep my head down as any breath I have is knocked out of me. I can’t see the exit or the distant Surface or Frisk or Flowey. It’s so, so dark that I’m afraid I’ve been thrown into the Void itself. Or maybe this is true hell. True punishment for everything I’ve done wrong. Regret and guilt choke me as I wish I could have apologized to Sans. I wish I could’ve hugged Papyrus. I wish I could’ve pet Cody… one last time. Is this the death I was meant to have? Not bleeding out in the snow or using my magic on the Barrier but by simply being crushed into the darkness I belong in? My self-hatred would say yes, but I can’t find the will to summon it when all I can do is gasp for breath.

My magic stirs in response as I struggle, but it’s as if the little power I have is also being crushed, smothered by the weight a far stronger force.

“Oh, poor, poor, Krista. She doesn’t deserve to be happy. She doesn’t deserve her family. She doesn’t deserve to  _ live _ ,” Flowey’s mocking voice booms around me.

I wince at how incredibly loud he is, and I crush my hands against my ears, but I can’t block him out.

“You try and try and  _ try  _ to be this oh-so-noble, powerful Perseverant. And a few times, you’ve actually succeeded. But guess what?  _ Now _ , you’re  **_nothing_ ** compared to  **me** . I. Am. GOD. It was one thing to kill you in the forest and shove you into the lake, but how does  _ true  _ suffering sound? These human SOULs are quite compliant; what do you say we try out their abilities? Are they enough to  _ break  _ a Perseverant? I can’t wait to find out.”

The pressure crushing my body finally lets up, and I push myself to my knees to breathe better when something sharp stabs me in the back. I fall forward and catch myself in time to keep my chin from slamming into the ground, but it makes the pain of the stab bite deeper.

“Let’s see, what SOUL to use first?” Flowey muses. “Shall we test from the weakest to the strongest? Or would random order be more fun?”

I flip around to face the flower and have to catch my breath when I see a gigantic form of his face hovering high above my head. A wide smile overcomes his face, his mouth filled with razor sharp teeth as his pupils shrink to white pinpricks.

“Let’s find out!” he announces as a flash of blue and purple appears in my peripheral vision. I look over and Frisk stands tall, a determined expression tightening her face with vicious rage.

“Frisk?” I ask as Flowey’s face disappears.

She slightly jumps and her eyes dart down to me. “ _ Krista _ , when did you get here?”

“I’ve been here this whole time,” I say, forcing myself to my feet.

Her face scrunches, “Maybe he separated us to brag in his own way. He told me… it’s… it’s all my fault!” Frisk’s eyes fill with tears and she immediately swipes them away. “If I hadn’t fought Asgore, then he wouldn’t have been exhausted enough for Flowey to kill him. And now he has the human SOULs! What do we do?”

I try to come up with an idea when the SOULs suddenly appear above us like a set of parentheses. To the left: green, dark blue, and cyan. To the right: yellow, purple, and orange. My heart leaps into my throat at the sight of that purple SOUL, my ancestor’s SOUL. Jex said his name was Gideon, and he is the only reason I am currently not being used as Flowey’s personal puppet like the rest of them.

The SOULs disappear and the world begins to flash red and black as giant, shadowed claws creep down in front of us. Leafy vines hang from the figure, and what reminds me of the pinchers of a beetle open and close in the center of whatever this creature is. A square face appears at the top of it all with a wide grin and bloody eyes. What the hell has Flowey become?

The flashing stops and the creature finally shows itself: a thing truly born out of nightmares. I didn’t think too much about what the combination of a monster and a human SOUL would look like; I only knew it was something terrifying. But  _ this _ … this is beyond anything I could have imagined.  _ This  _ is a creature meant to punish only the worst of SOULs, to crush them into dust and make them beg for death. 

_ “Are you not the perfect candidate?” _ a wicked voice asks me. It’s not Lissaria, but it is something that knows my self-hatred all too well. 

_ Enjoy your time in the hell you deserve. _

The creature’s laugh shakes the world as it looks down at us, a child-like grin on its face that says we might as well die before trying. Its red claws are connected to cactus-like arms that curve inwards, as if they’ll catch us if we try to run. The creature’s “face” is a worm-like pink with beetle pinchers containing human teeth on either side. Six rounded gray tubes loop out of the head, and at the top of it all is a TV screen with a smaller smiling face. The worst part is the four gray  _ human  _ eyes that stare at us at unnatural angles. Two are turned on their sides on either side of the pinchers while the other two are upside-down inside the center tubes. From behind those tubes, two enormous spiked vines slither out at a slow pace, reaching into the distant infinity of whatever this dark hell is. More gray tubes squirm behind the vines, and even if I look up, I can’t see what they connect to.

“This  _ can’t  _ be real,” Frisk whispers and my heart drops as I realize that is all this  _ can  _ be.

Without a pause, the creature sends out hundreds of star-shaped “friendliness pellets” as the final echoes of its laugh fade into the darkness. I can’t dodge fast enough as several of them hit me, sending sharp stabs into my SOUL. The pellets pour out of the gray eyes, the eyes that look so much like my father’s when he lost his trait. I can’t find a way to dodge as they keep stabbing and stabbing, moving so fast I can barely see a thing. Frisk isn’t in any better shape as I hear her cry out in pain and drop to her knees.

No, no, no,  _ no _ , I need to stop this  _ now  _ before I’m too injured. But then the pellets stop and flamethrowers drop on either side of us, throwing searing waves of flames that I just barely dodge.

_ Come on, Krista. Why the hell do you have magic if you never use it? _

The friendliness pellets suddenly surround us, and I throw a shield around us in time before they slam into our SOULs. Good, there’s one small victory.

I look up to see the face on the TV screen thrashing its head, screaming and twitching as if it’s being tortured. Is that supposed to be Flowey? Or one of the human SOULs? The face suddenly disappears and a flashing message replaces it:  **_WARNING_ ** with the cyan and orange SOULs underneath.

The creature disappears and orange gloved hands move in wide circles towards me, reaching to grab my body and snap my spine. I duck under the closest hand to find myself in a circle of seven as the wristless hands move inwards to crush me. I leap out of the circle to encounter another one, and another one, and another one. I keep dodging and ducking, resisting the urge to use my magic in fear of getting tired too quickly.

How long can I keep this up? Is this of Flowey’s creation or the SOULs? Do they want to punish me, too? Where did Frisk go? Is the cyan SOUL attacking her?  _ Could she already be dead? _

A white star suddenly appears in the distance, similar to a Save point, only here, it sparkles like the beacon of hope it is in Flowey’s dark hell. I reach for it and the hands suddenly turn into bandanas that flutter to the ground, completely harmless.

I sigh with relief only to be thrown back into a new onslaught of fear as the creature reappears and shoots hundreds of vines at me, easily piercing my SOUL numerous times. I try to dodge, but it’s like I’m being picked up and placed in specific spots where attacks can easily hit me. It’s only after this happens several times that I realize Flowey’s Loading Save files. Is that even possible? How has he regained control? Is this happening to Frisk, too?

I try to look around for her, but I can’t even spare a glance as new attacks lunge for me: vines, fingers shooting towards me with little daisies on them, flames, a beam of light that rocks the world as he shoots it from the beetle pinchers. I can’t even comprehend some of them as I run and dodge in any way I can, feeling attack after attack hit my SOUL. I guess my body itself is getting beat up, too, but I can only feel the pain in my SOUL. Maybe it’s adrenaline, maybe this isn’t entirely real and my body is only a shell, but the pain keeps cutting deeper and deeper, making my vision blur and my magic more useless by the second.

It suddenly stops when another warning sign appears, this time with the Integrity and the Perseverance SOULs. Perseverance.  _ Perseverance _ .

The creature disappears and words surround me on all sides, hitting me over and over as the letters flash behind my eyes and voices scream them.

**_HELPLESS, COWARD, SELFISH, WEAK, UNLOVED, FORGOTTEN, DAMAGED, WORTHLESS, INSIGNIFICANT, PATHETIC._ **

**_MURDERER._ **

They are all words that describe me perfectly. They are what I am and nothing more. Tears of pain finally pinch my eyes as more words follow. Because no amount of physical pain could make me hurt this much. It is the direct truth that is strong enough to crush me. How poetic that it is the  _ Perseverance SOUL _ that knows this is the way to destroy me.

But then something convinces me to open my eyes, and I peek them open to see that sparkling white star just inches away from me. All I have to do is touch it and this hell will end, right? But do I even deserve to escape this place? Isn’t this where I belong? After all… it knows what I’ve done. It knows my actions are unforgivable.

But a memory flashes in my mind of a night not too long ago. A night when I danced under the Ceiling Stars and dreamed of seeing the Surface once more. Is fulfilling that dream deserved? Can I be forgiven?

Tears slide down my cheeks as I think of my brothers, of the wishes I had the second I entered this hell. I want to see them again… but do they want to see me? Do I truly have a place in this world next to them? Have I ever been good enough as a sister?

The star seems to flicker in response, a coax for me to reach forward as the hideous words keep screaming all around me. I don’t know why I do it, but I reach forward and silence the voices, bringing a new round of words that soothe my ears.

_ Loving, Compassionate, Remarkable, Worthy, Strong, Loved, Memorable, Protected, Powerful, Cherished. _

_ Beautiful. _

But are they true?

“They are,” a light male voice says and I look up to see a boy about my age with purple eyes and dark brown hair.

“Gideon?” I ask, letting go of the star.

He nods, “I’m sorry you had to go through that; Flowey has a pretty strong hold over us at first.”

“And now?”

“You and Frisk are helping us break free. It’s been so long since I remembered who I was. And now, without a monster or a glass tube choking me into obedient silence, I can finally help the world the way I was meant to.”

“And that is?”

He smiles, “I knew the cost of entering the mountain. I knew I was the first Perseverant they would receive and that death would come quickly. But destroying the Barrier is worth my existence, and it has allowed you to live, a SOUL far more precious and important than mine.”

“That’s not true.”

He shakes his head, “Trust me, dear Krista, when I say that you’re the best any member of the Meadows family could have hoped for. I am proud to say I am your uncle, even if we are generations apart. You will bring an end to this war and stop a reign of terror before it truly begins. The only advice I can give is that you remember that second set of words.  _ They  _ define you, not the wicked ones. Don’t allow hatred to destroy you, and above all,  _ never  _ forget how much you are loved. You matter to this world more than you’ll ever understand.”

I’m about to say something when he disappears, leaving me in pure darkness for a few seconds. My SOUL pinches in anticipation of Flowey’s next attacks, and I wipe my tears away, lifting my head to feel a new wave of motivation. A reinforcement of perseverance.

The creature reappears and I stare it down with unflinching resolve. I  _ will _ get out of here. I  _ refuse  _ to die today because there is still a lot left for me to do in this life. 

The attacks seem to come faster now with multiple Loads and Saves that throw me towards those wicked claws and vines. But I keep my dodges precise and use my magic sparingly, only to block or attack at the right moments. Unfortunately, I notice that my attacks barely leave an impact on him, but they still feel worth the effort.

This time, it doesn’t feel like I’m fighting for as long when the warning sign shows up again, displaying the final two SOULs: green and yellow.

Yellow remains onscreen as the creature disappears, replaced by a gun three times my size pointed directly at my head. What makes it worse is that it’s not  _ any  _ gun; it’s a pistol, specifically the one I was forced to kill my sister with. I don’t know how these ancient SOULs are able to recreate something so accurate to my memory unless they actually  _ see  _ what I fear, what I’ve been trying to forget.

Bullets suddenly shoot towards me, each one bringing that ear-bleeding  _ pop  _ that killed my sister and my father. I try to dodge, but the memories flash before me with such intensity that I have to stop and take the punishment, wondering if this is the kind of pain my father felt when that bullet struck his heart. They keep firing and firing, exceeding the 12-round clip that the real gun would’ve had. But this is magic, and magic can torture you for as long as it likes.

I can’t stop picturing them: the way the blood seeped out of Mable’s head and trailed down her face, the sickening sound of my father’s last words as he choked on his own blood. That was  _ my  _ doing. That was  _ my  _ fault. No one forced me to kill him.  _ I  _ made that choice, and now he’s dead. I left them behind; I left both of them behind and ran from the aftermath of their deaths. How can I return to the Surface? I’m as good as dead if that happens. The whole world knows I’m a murderer. Is this hell better?

I shake my head and look up to see that white star, sparkling in the distance. No, I’ve been through this too many times. It’s time to move on and accept my fate. Whatever punishments that may come will be deserved, but right now, I need to fight for others. I need to give them the futures they deserve, even if it means my own will be spent in a dark prison.

I grab the white star and the bullets stop. The gun disappears and is replaced with a basket of green azaleas. For my sister. For the kind dad I once knew.

“Are you okay?” Frisk asks next to me, appearing out of nowhere.

“I guess so. Where have you been?” I ask, even though I can guess what her answer will be.

“Avoiding attacks from Flowey along with the cyan, dark blue, and green SOULs. It’s strange, it’s like they…  _ knew  _ my past and predicted how to hurt me the most.”

“I know what you mean,” I reply as the six hearts gather in a circle on the TV screen before floating down around us.

“What now?” Frisk asks with a hint of fear as the hearts send out soothing bursts of healing magic into us. 

Each SOUL contributes their own form of love: Patience offers a band-aid, Integrity sends a music note, Kindness gives a slice of bread, Bravery flutters a silk bandana, Perseverance sends  _ Hope _ , and Justice extends a flower.

They give more than they need to, as every wisp of pain inside me is erased in only two bursts of their healing magic. But they continue giving until they finally pull away and the creature reappears, thrashing its head in the TV screen more violently than before.

“We can do this, right?” Frisk asks.

I tighten my hands into fists and stare down the abomination Flowey has become. I am  _ done  _ with his manipulations and games; it doesn’t matter how many SOULs he has, he will  _ never  _ be a god.

I give Frisk a grin and form a sword in each hand, letting go of any fear of her knowing about my magic. “We’re survivors, aren’t we? Let’s show that  _ weed  _ he’s messed with the wrong humans.”

A smile inches onto her face and she pulls a worn dagger out of her back pocket that looks like it’s been used strictly for gardening. “I think this will work nicely on those vines,” she says, turning to face the creature with a determined expression.

Flowey sends out attacks at a much slower rate, giving us easy openings to attack his weak spots. This time, every attack seems to do substantial damage, and he cries out with deep groans of pain.

While a few of his attacks hit us, we’re easily healed as the SOULs drop their offers for healing. I catch a flower while dodging a wall of flames. Frisk slices a vine while a bandana flutters onto her head. Flowey’s attacks increase and I lose myself in the frenzy of dodging and fighting and surviving. I throw anything at him from blades to spears to shards of bone-cutting magic. If it’s kill or be killed in Flowey’s world, then so be it.

I don’t even know how long it is until his groans of pain become screams that sharpen into the words, “No! No! This isn’t supposed to happen!”

Frisk and I back up as he suddenly freezes, creating the smuggest smile I have ever seen that stretches across the TV screen.

“You’re both such  _ idiots _ !” he yells as a beam of light slams into us from the pinchers.

I can’t even comprehend what happens as the light disappears and vines slice us in half. Then the light kills us, then the vines, over and over and over. Burning, cutting, burning, cutting, burning, cutting,  _ burning _ ,  _ cutting _ .

Then it stops and my vision comes into focus as friendliness pellets surround Frisk and I.

Flowey cackles as his real face appears on the TV. “Hee-hee-hee, did you really think  _ I  _ could be killed? I am the  _ GOD _ of this world, and you’re just helpless  _ children _ . No one is going to save you from my eternal hell. Go ahead and try: call for help, beg for mercy, cry into the ceaseless darkness. Nothing is going to happen!”

I just stare him down because I know no one is going to come; I never expected help at any point. We’ll have to fight our way out of here on our own. However, Frisk shakes her head and says, “Whoever is listening, I ask you for help.”

Flowey’s eyes glance to his left and right with a hint of concern before a smile stretches across his face once more. “But there is no one who cares to listen. Boy, how sad is that? No one will be here to watch you die!”

He sends the friendliness pellets at us slowly, forcing us to inch closer together until we’re back to back.

“I’m sorry, Frisk,” I whisper to her, unsure if this is truly our end. But she just growls in frustration and  _ reaches  _ for the pellets, causing them to disappear on impact.

Flowey’s face freezes with a dying laugh in his throat before he asks, “What? But… fine, then I’ll just… where are my powers?”

The human SOULs suddenly leap out of him and Frisk smirks, “The world  _ isn’t  _ yours.”

The SOULs circle around the giant creature Flowey has become, moving faster and faster as he tries to thrash away. “No! You’re supposed to obey me! Stop! STOP!”

The world suddenly whites out before returning to darkness. This time, there isn’t a sign of Flowey anywhere. There is nothing but the distant howling of wind that I’m not sure is even real.

“Did that do it?” Frisk asks and I flinch back when Flowey suddenly appears before us, a withered golden flower hiding his face underneath his petals.

“Are you done with your rampage?” I ask, crossing my arms.

“Aren’t you going to kill me?” he snaps.

“No, because then we’d be no better than you,” Frisk says.

“If you let me live… I’ll come back,” Flowey threatens, lifting his petals to reveal his cracked face.

“Don’t you always?” I ask in a bored tone, suddenly very eager to get out of this dark place. I can deal with Flowey again, but this empty, dark world… I feel like it’s eating away at my SOUL.

“I’ll kill you both.”

“No, you won’t,” Frisk argues.

“I’ll kill everyone,” Flowey says, his voice becoming more cracked every time he talks.

“You’ll try,” I nearly snap, feeling a spark of desire to get it over with. But I remind myself that every time I’ve killed him, he’s always come back. Sure, Frisk has control of time now, but Flowey was able to gain it back with the SOULs.

“ _ I’ll kill everyone you love _ ,” Flowey hisses, giving me a pointed look.

“ _ No _ ,” Frisk says sternly, throwing her gardening dagger on the ground.

Flowey stares at us before he says, “Why?”

“It’s like I said, Flowey, I’m done with you,” I say, stepping back as if a line has been drawn between us.

Flowey looks to Frisk, “Why are  _ you  _ being so nice to me?” Frisk opens her mouth to say something when he cuts her off, “I can’t understand. I can’t understand. I just  _ can’t  _ understand!”

Then he drops underground, leaving Frisk and I in the silence of this dark place.

I look over to say something to her and she’s gone. A blink later, I’m outside the Barrier room again.

“What the hell?” I whisper, and I look up to see that unending world of black and white but no Frisk. Did she exit the Underground? Or is she stuck in that world of darkness?

“Krista?” 

I jump at Sans’ voice and my hands instinctively clench into fists, prepared for another fight so soon.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” he says and I look down the hall to see him slowly walking towards me.

I sigh, “No,  _ I’m  _ sorry. You were right. I sulk and blame myself for things I can’t control when I should just let them go. It’s just that… I’ve never felt entirely in control of my life, so I try to control anything around me that I  _ feel  _ like I should be strong enough to fix. But I’m not. I never have been and I never will be.”

“Well… you could fix that nosebleed and my confusion,” he says lightly, stopping next to me.

I realize the sensation of blood trickling out my nose, and I wipe it with the back of my hand. Great.

“Would you feel better if we went home?” he asks as I feel a wave of exhaustion hit me. How long did I fight Flowey?

“Fine,” I mutter, figuring waiting by the Barrier in hopes of seeing Frisk is a lost cause.

He shortcuts us into the house and I collapse onto the couch, holding my head in my hands. How am I going to explain this? Asgore is  _ dead _ , Frisk is gone, and Flowey is still out there somewhere. Has it all been for nothing? Or did Frisk at least get to go home?

“So, details,” Sans says, sitting down next to me.

“Asgore is dead,” I mumble, lifting my eyes and staring at the orange wall across from me.

“Frisk?” he asks cautiously.

“ _ No _ , Flowey.”

“What did you do?” he asks while gently nudging my shoulder. I look over and he hands me a couple tissues with a glass of water.

I sigh and accept them, searching for the right words to explain what happened. I’m able to explain everything, but it makes me realize just how little  _ I  _ understand what happened.

“I’m not sure how he got the SOULs, but at least he didn’t get Fri-”

My sentence is cut off as a wave of pain slams into my head and I gasp, squeezing my eyes shut. A second later, I open them and we’re back in the Judgement Hall. 

“Did you-”

Sans shakes his head and my eyes drift to the Throne Room. A minute later, Frisk emerges with a determined expression.

Before I can say anything she says, “Flowey gave me back my Save file. I have a second chance at a better ending.”

“So what are you going to do with it?” I ask, unsure what Flowey’s motive is in allowing Frisk to come back.

She smiles, “I’d like to meet Papyrus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I ended up finding more time to write than I thought (because I'm really good at procrastinating on important things I don't want to do), and I'm already working on Chapter 12.   
> I can't promise I'll upload every week, but there may be a couple posts in a row every now and then.


	5. The Culmination of Hopes and Dreams

We head to the City while Frisk explains how she was able to get a glimpse of the future without her. Toriel would return and reinstate herself as queen, but the Underground would lose hope more than ever. Apparently, Flowey was so choked up about her mercy towards him that he wanted her to get a better “ending,” whatever that means. I’m not sure how much I should trust this fragile reality. How much control does Frisk have in comparison to Flowey? Has anything changed since he got the SOULs? They would be returned by now, right? Asgore should still be alive,  _ right _ ?

We reach the elevator outside the Judgement Hall by the time I can’t take it anymore, and I back away when the doors open.

“You guys go ahead; I have a few things to do while I’m here,” I say casually.

Frisk agrees without a glance, but Sans knows me too well.

“I’ll catch up with ya, Frisk. Knowing Undyne and Papyrus, they’re probably near the Royal Gardens. Undyne thinks the guards there are lazy.”

“Okay, see you later,” she says with an unconcerned wave as the elevator doors shut.

“Do you think my kindness is fueled by animosity?” Flowey asks behind us, and I cross my arms as I turn to face him.

“It seems very likely,” I respond in a monotone voice, burying a flicker of fear.

He smirks, “You can see for yourself, the king is alive and the human SOULs are locked up. It’s as if your best nightmare never happened.”

“Then what was the point? To terrorize Frisk? To play God? To experiment with possibilities?”

Sans’ eyes snap to me for a split second at the word “ _ experiment _ ,” but it’s so fast that Flowey doesn’t even notice as he keeps his gaze locked on my face.

“That was only a taste of what I  _ will  _ be capable of. It’s only a matter of time until Frisk leads everyone to their doom!” Flowey says triumphantly.

“And how do you plan for that to happen?” I ask as if his words don’t bother me in the slightest.

“Why spoil the fun? I will see you two  _ very  _ soon,” he says sweetly before dropping underground.

I squint at where he was, mulling over his words. Of course he’s planning something, but what is his ultimate goal?

“So what do you plan to do while Frisk is off having fun?” Sans asks as if Flowey didn’t just threaten the entire Underground.

I frown, “I don’t know, I just needed to get away from her.” Sans waits for me to explain, and I search for the right words. I highly doubt Flowey would lie about everything being back to the way it was before Frisk fought Asgore. It would make sense that reloading her Save file would take us back to that time.

I originally wanted to stay here to confirm that assumption, but after talking to Flowey, I’m not so eager to see Frisk again.

“She… she’s been hurt by the people she’s loved, but she remains kind and merciful. Frisk spared Flowey, but I felt the urge to kill him. I’m getting the feeling that she’s far more important than we originally thought. I think she truly is the Angel, and she will be the one to bring peace between the two races. After how I’ve treated her today, she doesn’t need me around.”

“What, you feel guilty about being suspicious of her?” Sans asks.

“Yes.”

He stares at me for a bit before smirking and saying, “You're tired.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“You had, what, maybe an hour last night?”

“A half hour, actually,” I admit, feeling exhaustion weigh on me once more.

“And you’ve had to deal with Frisk’s arrival and a few Resets and Flowey  _ and  _ a nightmarish fight for your life. You deserve a break; I’ll keep an eye on things.”

“Are you purposely trying to get me to stay out of the picture?” I ask as he shortcuts us to the house.

Sans rolls his eyes, “No, I’m doing this because you push yourself too much, and if there really is a chance we’ll see the Surface soon, then I need you to be alert. I’m gonna need a guide up there.”

“Good excuse, now what’s your real reason?”

He frowns, “I am never going to lie to you, Krista. Those are my reasons, and you’ll just have to accept them. Now get some sleep; I’ll wake you the second anything interesting happens.”

Then he shortcuts away and I toss my hands up. Leave it to Sans to be all concerned about my health. I guess Papyrus would be, too, if he knew I was in this condition. I really am tired, and my magic still feels like it’s struggling to build itself back up. Even though time is Reset and I’m physically fine, the strain on both my magic and my mind is not. Is it better that I stay out of the way? 

Frisk will inevitably be led back to Asgore, and what will happen then? What does Flowey  _ hope  _ will happen?

My thoughts jumble and I feel the immense weight of exhaustion overcome me in the dim light of the house. Is it better to take a break? If anything bad happens, can I trust that Sans will get me and not keep me out of the conflict? 

I pull my boots off and shrug off my dark green coat, placing them at the end of the couch in case I need to get up in a rush. I can only hope. I guess it would be better to get some rest while everything is seemingly okay. This wouldn’t be a selfish mistake, would it?

“ _ For the love of all that is reasonable, just get some sleep! I will personally get you up if anything happens, you stubborn human _ ,” Lissaria snaps in my head.

“Fine,” I agree begrudgingly before grabbing my blanket and throwing it around me. I curl up on my side, facing the couch cushions and close my heavy eyes, expecting not to fall asleep for a while. But I guess today has taken a lot out of me.

***

Sans knew Krista would eventually listen and take a nap. Seriously, did she honestly expect to keep going for however much longer this day would last? He had learned a while ago that sometimes she just needed to be  _ told  _ to remember to think of herself. If no one said or did anything, she would keep going until she collapsed. It baffled Sans that she still hadn’t learned a lesson from that, which meant he had to step up and pretend to be a big brother every now and then.

Now, as he headed for the Royal Garden, he allowed himself to feel a spark of fear for how this day would end. The Determination human was all any monster had thought about for centuries, but if Frisk is not meant to die, then how will the Barrier be broken? Flowey  _ allowed  _ Frisk to come back to the Underground, so what is meant to play out differently to get a better “ending?”

Sans entered the Royal Garden to find Cody sitting near a bush of deep purple chrysanthemums, waiting patiently.

“Hey pup, where are the others?” he asked, picking up the fluffy white dog.

“Frisk met Papyrus and they went to explore the City for a bit. Undyne mentioned that she wants Frisk to deliver a letter to Alphys so they might head to the lab soon,” Cody said.

“And you just decided to stay here?” Sans asked.

“Frisk said you were going to be here soon so I figured I’d wait to tell you what’s going on. Where’s Mama?”

“I forced her to take a nap; she’s had a rough day.”

“She didn’t get much sleep last night, either, after what happened to Lily and then losing her control over the Reset point. It doesn’t help that Chara rattled her, too.”

Sans sighed, “A lot of other things happened, too, but at least she’s getting a break from worrying for the next hour.”

“How do you think this will play out with Frisk?” Cody asked.

“I dunno, but I’d rather have you with Krista for the time being. Is that okay?”

Cody nodded without hesitation, and Sans shortcutted them into their house, placing Cody on the ground who immediately jumped up on the couch. He snuggled down between Krista and the couch cushions, nuzzling his way under her limp right arm. She didn’t stir, thankfully, and Sans shortcutted back to the City, piecing together a vague plan as he headed into MTT Resort. As much as the idea made him nervous, he shoved down the fear as he entered the Resort’s elevator and pressed the highest button on the back wall. 

The elevator moved slowly, giving him time to worry, if he allowed himself to. Instead, he thought of how angry Krista would be when she inevitably found out he did this. But it was something he could easily throw right back at her. She was hypocritical, in that sense, with how quickly she threw aside any care for her own wellbeing but then had a fit whenever Sans dealt with a similar risk. Krista was the oldest sibling in every way when it came to how protective she was. He knew she would do anything in the world to ensure he and Papyrus would never feel pain again, but it made him want to hurt all the more to ensure that  _ she  _ wouldn’t.

The elevator doors opened to a dim hallway carved out of rough stone, and Sans strutted forward with casual grace, every inch the relaxed and unnerved version of himself that strangers knew.

“Well, well, well,” a voice that he assumed was Lissaria’s purred from the distant right stairway. “If it isn’t the failed experiment I’ve so  _ dearly  _ wanted to meet.”

The word made him flinch, but he smoothed his face into an impassive expression as he turned the corner to face the red dragon.

“How ever can I help you, prince of hidden powers?” Lissaria asked, smirking at her “clever” title for him.

“You know what’s going to happen, so just say it,” Sans said with a disinterested shrug.

“Do I? What makes you think a Magic Whisperer can predict the future?” she asked innocently.

“You were testing Krista to see if she’s ready for what’s to come, and you warned her about your fellow Whisperer. You clearly know something.”

Lissaria’s grin widened, revealing her razor teeth. “Isn’t Krista such a joy? A Perseverant like that is rare, so full of love and power. Not to mention her heritage is just too perfect to ignore. I’d hate to see someone crush a SOUL like that into dust, but alas, Fate has different plans from what I wish to happen.”

“And you’ll just sit back and allow it,” he sneered, allowing some emotion to slip into his tone.

“Yes, as I have allowed many SOULs that beautiful to be destroyed. It always breaks my heart, but human Determination is too powerful for even a Whisperer to truly overcome.”

“Then I guess this conversation was a waste of my time,” he scoffed, turning away from her as a flash of red and gold suddenly burned into his mind’s eye. Sans winced and fixed a glare onto those gold eyes as the creature dropped her smirk.

“You’ve seen fragments of the future, too. You know it can’t be changed. The only positive certainty I can give you is that _ no one _ knows how this will truly end. Not Jex, not me, not even Chara herself. Now,  _ maybe  _ I can help if something happens in New Home, but I cannot give any guarantees. The burden to truly prevail falls on you and Krista.”

“The way I see it,  _ everything  _ has always been on Krista. No one has suffered more because of Chara than she has.”

“That may not entirely be true, but I wouldn’t deny that you’re correct to believe that. However, the burden falls on you just as equally because of what she’ll need to keep going. Your sister is one of the strongest Perseverants I have ever seen, but with the amount of Determination she’ll be up against, she won’t survive without an ally, specifically someone she  _ loves _ .” 

“Just say what you know,” Sans snapped, understanding why Krista always spoke of the Whisperers with an irritated tone. They  _ loved  _ knowing practically everything, and they loved teasing those wishing for answers even more.

Lissaria’s eyes darkened, “There will not only be red and gold but also red and white. Snowdin’s forest will be stained with blood and powdered with dust. Krista will die. Papyrus will die.  _ You  _ will die. Not a single SOUL in the Underground will be safe, and Chara is going to enjoy it.”

Sans kept his expression neutral as fear nearly overwhelmed him. He didn’t know if he could go through that again, to see his brother turn to dust, to stare at his sister’s lifeless body. He could accept his own death, but no one else’s. Unless… what if he died and they were left alive? What if Krista was the only one Chara didn’t kill? He didn’t want to imagine what kind of torture that would be for her, what kind of damage that would do  _ to  _ her. It meant that he  _ had  _ to stay alive. It made him realize why the burden was on him, too. 

Krista  _ needed  _ love and support, without it, she didn’t see her life’s worth. Without someone to help her remember why she was fighting, she wouldn’t care what kind of pain she’d experience. She would believe she deserved it. It was why she didn’t carry any anger about her time in the lab. Sure, she hated Gaster, but she wasn’t specifically angry about the sessions or how she nearly starved to death or how Chara burned the flesh off her arm. Krista believed that pain was rightfully deserved, and in the time after she escaped the lab, that belief only strengthened when Sans turned his back on her and Asgore allowed her to remain in the habit of barely eating anything. Krista was in desperate need of someone to care for her, and she still is. Even after all these months of living with her and reminding her of her worth, Sans knew she would never truly recover from those days. Krista would need someone to look out for her for the rest of her life. Otherwise… she would finally die for good.

“How soon?” was all he asked even though he had a feeling Lissaria knew all that went through his head.

“There is still time. The Barrier will be broken today. Afterwards… well let’s just say death will come eventually, but Chara likes to take her time to truly enjoy something.”

“You’re holding back a piece of information,” Sans snapped.

Lissaria turned her head, “You’re smart, you tell me.”

“Frisk is going to Reset at some point; that will put Chara’s plans in motion.”

“Correct.”

“But how?”

“I honestly can’t answer that with facts, but my suspicions say you should keep an eye on Frisk. Determination is very unpredictable; you never know what its true intentions are.”

Sans took a deep breath and nodded, figuring there was nothing more the Whisperer could tell him. He turned to head back to the elevator when a memory flashed in his head, the moment he pushed Gaster into the Core. The kind of pain and anger he felt at that time now felt trivial after the hell Flowey put them through, but Sans couldn’t help the gasp that escaped from the shock of that memory. He had been trying to bury it out of shame that he was expecting to die. After the fight he had with Krista about it that day in Hotland, he didn’t want to think about how selfish he was for wishing to die. It made him feel like a hypocrite for telling Krista she didn’t deserve death when he felt he deserved it himself for that single moment.

“Why?” he snapped at Lissaria.

“Why haven’t you told Krista about your nightmares? The ones you keep having about your past? The ones you keep having about the future? Sure, you don’t have nightmares nearly as often as she does, but they’re more common than what most people experience,” she asked meekly.

“It’s not something she needs to be bothered with,” he snapped.

“Oh, and yet you get mad at  _ her  _ for keeping secrets. Maybe you’re not as honest with her as you think you are. And Papyrus, my goodness, you two are even worse with him. Sure, you may have explained his past to him. But all these concerns about Frisk and the future and your nightmares are all unknown to him. For how much longer will they remain like this? I suppose when he’s turning to dust-”

“That’s enough!” Sans hissed, summoning a blaster without a second thought.

Lissaria smiled, “Ah, there he is, the warrior hiding under the smirk. You better let him out more often if you hope to survive; Chara is not as lenient as Gaster was.”

Sans scoffed and headed down the hallway, done with the Whisperer’s taunts. How could Krista stand to have that creature in her head all the time? It was amazing she hadn’t enacted the Death Vow just to get Lissaria out. 

“If I were you, I’d head to the Barrier room, my vague future sight says some interesting events will occur there,” Lissaria called after him as the elevator doors shut.

Sans scoffed as the elevator began to move, unsurprised that Lissaria knew more about the future than she was willing to tell. That’s why he took a shortcut to the lab instead, while the elevator traveled back to the Resort. Would Papyrus and Undyne be there by now? 

He walked into Alphys’ brightly lit lab as if he was there to crash a party, but the room was empty of people. There was, however, a small piece of paper on the floor on the other side of the room. In a shortcut, he picked it up and read the note. 

_ Hey, thanks for your help back there, Frisk. You guys… your support means a lot to me. But… you can’t make my problems go away. I want to be a better person. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I have to face my mistakes. If you want to know the truth, enter the door to the north of this note. You deserve to know what I did. _

_ -Alphys _

Sans’ gaze drifted up to the door and an inexplicable number of emotions rushed through him, the most discernible ones being fear, anger, disgust, and hatred. He knew where that door led: it was an elevator, down to the hell he was created in. Krista had gone down there with Asgore last year, and she nearly had a panic attack at just seeing those teal walls. There was no way he was going down there to look for the others. He got the sense that only Frisk was down there anyway, and the mistakes that Alphys had been trying to hide were the monsters melted by Determination. 

Sans shuddered at the thought of seeing them, since he knew how it felt to have Determination inside him. It was like fighting for control between his own desires and the desires of the trait itself. His body was considerably fragile, even for a monster, so it didn’t take long before he felt his bones begin to melt like ice cubes in Hotland.

The memory made his grip tighten on Alphys’ note and he dropped it on the ground, turning away from the door to head out of the lab. Should he go to the Barrier? Or would it be stupid to listen to Lissaria? She must have suggested it for a reason, but was it for a good one or a malicious one? He sighed and took a shortcut to the beginning of the Judgement Hall, giving himself more than enough time to think as he walked the distance.

By the time he made it to the other side, he still hadn’t made up his mind. So he waited in the shadow of a pillar, figuring if his brother or sister showed up, then he’d follow them to the Barrier. Better to listen to a Whisperer with a family member by his side than alone.

***

When my eyes drift open, the first thing I spot is Cody’s white fur sandwiched between my arms. Then I focus on his face and it’s as if he knows I’m awake when his brown eyes are suddenly wide open.

“Hey puppy, how did you get here?” I whisper to him.

“Sans brought me here about an hour ago.”

“An  _ hour _ ?” I ask before pushing myself up in a sudden hurry. How much has happened since then? Why didn’t he get me up? Where are the others now?

Cody whimpers, but I ignore him and run upstairs to the attic. I throw off my wrinkled green shirt and walk into the bathroom to splash cold water on my face, ensuring that I’m wide awake. I don’t know why Sans likes naps so much, they always make me feel more tired than before for the first few minutes I’m awake again.

After I dry my face and brush out my frizzy hair, I put on my dark purple long-sleeve shirt with pears on it and head back downstairs. It’s not until I’ve thrown on my coat and pulled on my boots that I realize Cody’s nowhere in the main room.

“Cody?” I ask, scanning the room before looking in the kitchen. “Cody?” I call again, knowing he wouldn’t mess with me. Again, no response. My heart picks up in fear when pain suddenly slams into my head, and I shove my hands against my eyes as I cry out. What the hell is going on?

A wave of cold air rushes over me and a voice suddenly hums in amusement, “How nice of you to join us, Krista. After all, you’re the only SOUL I can’t possess aside from Frisk’s.”

I drop my hands from my eyes and look up towards the voice, noting that I’m once again in a pitch black world. The owner of the voice is a white goat-like monster with horns curved downwards instead of like Asgore’s that are curved up. He wears a black robe with white long-sleeves and the Delta Rune symbol imprinted on the front. Two black lines reach across his cheeks towards his eyes and he wears a gold heart locket that peeks out from underneath his robe’s large collar.

The goat floats in the darkness and stares down at me with a wicked grin, as if he knows so many things I don’t and he’s just itching to share them. The look seems so familiar, but I can’t place where I’ve seen it before.

“You’re probably wondering how you got here or where everybody is, aren’t you?” he asks as if I’m a dumb kid.

“That’d be a nice start,” I respond, shoving my hands in my pockets. Why does he seem so familiar? He can’t be Asriel… can he? But the prince died when he was just a kid. Did he somehow survive after all these years? I doubt any child of Asgore would deliberately leave him. No, something must have kept him from his parents.

“I suppose we have time to chat, after all, my Distant Side is currently fighting Frisk,” the goat muses, floating down to stand before me.

“Should I even ask what you mean by that?” I say in annoyance.

He smirks, “I am going to take back control of this world, but my powers are split in two. A side of me remembers my past, and the other is solely focused on achieving my goal. Consider yourself lucky for being the only one to deal with  _ this  _ side.”

“I’m overjoyed,” I say in a bored tone while forming a sword, “now what did you do with Cody?”

“A better question would be, ‘What did I do with the  _ entire Underground _ ’?”

“Just say it,” I snap. Damn, he’s as bad as the Whisperers.

“Your friends, your dog, your  _ brothers _ , all their SOULs are  _ mine _ ,” the goat snarls with triumph. “I am the culmination of every monster and animal SOUL in the Underground, and along with the six human SOULs, I am now the true god of this world.”

The sheer victory… the sheer  _ arrogance  _ in that voice… “Flowey?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“So  _ now  _ you figure it out. Heh, at that rate I would’ve thought I’d have to spell it out for you. Not very perceptive, are you, little Perseverant?”

I ignore the insult I’ve heard before and say, “Flowey was… Asriel, a SOULless version of him that survived through a golden flower. And you… you’re a form of what Asriel became when he and Chara went to the Surface.”

“Now you’ve got it. Isn’t it nice to understand everything before you die?”

“I wouldn’t know anything about that,” I lie, trying to figure out how the hell I can fix this.

Asriel chuckles, “You’re stalling, but it’s no matter. We have all the time in existence for you to try to figure a way out of this. Nothing is going to work. Go ahead, try to attack me with all your strength; see where your pointless efforts get you.”

“Then I guess we’ve reached a stalemate,” I say with equal bravado even though I feel nothing but blinding anger.

“Oh no,” he says, taking a step towards me. I immediately take a step back and feel my hands lift out of my pockets, preparing for a fight. “I have control of  _ everything _ , and you are now under  _ my mercy _ . This is no stalemate. You lost a long time ago, and now you are going to feel the pain of that loss. I say we start with showing you my  _ true  _ power.”

He laughs and disappears, causing a flash of light that makes me shield my eyes. When the light passes, I lower my arm to see what he means, to see the true monster he is.

Asriel is even larger now, with a new look that is much more intimidating than before. What was once his robe’s collar now stretches out to frame his face like flames. His horns are longer, and his mouth is full of razor teeth so much like the Magic Whisperers. A white circle that I assume is the chest of his new, legless body contains a heart in the center with a much larger, pulsing heart underneath. Wings spread out on either side of him, shifting through a rainbow of colors in this infinite darkness. White gloves cover his arms up to the elbows with hearts imprinted on them, and I wonder if they have to do with the human SOULs he now controls.

“It won’t end like this,” I hear Frisk snap, and I look to my left to see her standing there, more determined than ever to prevail.

“Frisk?” I ask and her eyes snap to me.

“Krista? When did you get here?”

“A couple minutes ago, how long has it been for you?”

She squints before looking back up at the all-powerful creature. “I have no idea.”

“Do you really think you can win?” Asriel announces before sending out blasts of fire-like bullets, each one a different pastel color of the rainbow.

I try to dodge, but it’s as if I’m being held back as I just barely avoid being hit by the attacks. It seems Frisk is having the same problem when I hear her hiss with pain.

“I control  _ everything _ , which means I can hold you in place and kill you both as many times as I want!” Asriel announces, his voice suddenly rasping with anger.

He shoots even more fireballs of rainbow light and several of them hit me like needles being shoved into my chest. I can’t help the handful of screams that escape, but I grit my teeth and force myself to fight through it. I  _ need  _ to stay alive. I can’t leave my family… I can’t leave the whole  _ Underground  _ to this fate. There must be something Frisk and I can do.

“What good are your Determination and Perseverance  _ now _ ?” Asriel taunts, sending more and more attacks at us.

We try our best to dodge, but they continue hitting us, over and over. Frisk shrieks with frustration and says, “I can’t reach my Save file to take back control!”

I duck under a particularly nasty fireball and stare at the creature before me, wondering what his weaknesses could be. He’s technically not his own monster, right? He’s a culmination of thousands of SOULs. So could that mean… we could reach the individuals he’s composed of?

“You are not Asriel,” I tell the creature, and his hateful yellow eyes snap to me. “You are a shell pretending to be whole. Your life has long been over, but all those SOULs you have are not done.”

I force myself to step forward, fighting back that restraining feeling crushing my shoulders.

“And? What do you think you can do? You are nothing. You have nothing. Death should be a gift for you,” he sneers.

I tilt my head, “That may be true, but I’m too selfish to accept those lies. There is a small part of me that deserves good things... and I want my family  _ back _ .”

I reach out and throw a blast of power at him, reaching and searching for those fractured SOULs that no other monsters could have. Asriel growls and the world whites out, forcing me to cover my eyes. When I open them, there is nothing but darkness and a figure in front of me with glitching, fire-like white magic covering their face.

She stands tall and proud, but the rigidity of her muscles tells me she’s fighting something. It means she’s still in there.

“All humans will die!” Undyne’s distorted voice yells, forming hundreds of spears that she sends at me.

With a sweep of my hand, I form a shield around me and stand my ground, gritting my teeth when I realize just how much power she’s putting into her attacks. When the last spear disappears, I drop my shield and form a sword, searching for the right things to say to reach her.

“You would normally yell at me for pulling something like that,” I say, forcing a playful tone into my voice. “A shield will make me tired much faster. Right, boss?”

Her head turns just the slightest. Is it in recognition? But she just hisses and says, “Good thing you’ll tire yourself out. That will make it all the more easier to kill you!”

I sense the spears behind me a second before they hit me, and I duck in the nick of time. Unfortunately, she expects this and spears slam into my sides, causing me to hit the ground and lose focus on my magic. She starts to walk toward me and I frantically create a small shield.

Undyne laughs, “All you can do is defend, but you’re not even good at that, are you?”

She forms a spear and tries to stab it through my shield, but I hold my ground. “I’d like to think I’m a little better at defense. Whenever I try offense, you always seem to win. I’m lucky to only have a little scar on my collarbone from all the times we’ve sparred.”

Her shoulders start to shake a bit and I shove her back, dissipating my shield into hundreds of little butterflies. “I’m not a traditional warrior like you. I just can’t bring myself to let go of all those girly things I like so much.”

The fire-like magic covering her face disappears and her yellow eye focuses on me.

“Krista?”

“Don’t worry, I’m still going to count that as a win for you,” I say, feeling a wave of relief rush over me at her recognition. 

Her eye widens in realization of what just happened before she disappears, and a new SOUL is presented to me.

His face is covered with that magic, too, and he immediately creates bone bullets to attack me with.

“Humans are our enemies,” Papyrus’ distorted voice says, and I dodge his attacks with a surprising amount of ease. But then I realize it’s because he’s holding back. While Undyne showed how she was fighting Asriel with her trembling shoulders, Papyrus is showing it through his light attacks. However, I don’t know if it’s because he knows it’s me or because Asriel would  _ really  _ have to control him to make him truly want to hurt somebody.

“You certainly are the kindest person I know,” I say, realizing it’s something I should have said a long time ago. But seeing how he’s fighting now, it makes me  _ need  _ to say it.

His hand shakes when he throws the next batch of bones, a collection of only seven, each one smaller than the last.

“I think you and Mable would have been closer than I am to you. She was sweet and caring just as much as you are, and I’m sorry I’m not as great of a sister.”

He only sends out one now, a blue bone that doesn’t go anywhere near me.

“I just hope you understand that even though I can never be good enough, I love you as much as she would’ve.”

The fire-like magic immediately disappears and Papyrus, the  _ real  _ Papyrus begins to walk towards me as he says, “I know this world would be better if it still had Mable in it, but it also wouldn’t be without you, too.”

“Well-” I’m about to protest when he puts his hands on my shoulders, as if we’re just having this discussion at home and not in a world of darkness.

“And even though I’ll never know her, I can believe with all my heart that you are just as great of a sister as she was.”

I’m about to say more when he disappears, bringing me the SOUL I didn’t realize I was dreading the most to see like this.

“You will never be good enough,” Sans hisses before sending hundreds of bone bullets at me, as numerous as Undyne’s spears.

I grit my teeth and dodge them, falling into the motions I used to avoid Undyne’s attacks until I realize something.

“You know your attacks can’t hurt me, so why are we even doing this?” I ask, jumping out of the way of his final bullet.

“You really want to risk that?” he snarls, his hands clenching into fists as he forms hundreds more of attacks.

“I know you’d never intentionally hurt me,” I say, standing tall, “send them my way.”

He throws his hand out and I admittedly flinch when the bones hit me, but they’re no more painful than warm light hitting my skin.

“If you really want to hurt me, Sans, then use your  _ true  _ power. I promise I won’t move,” I say, throwing out my right arm. “I only ask you hit this first since it knows what that pain is like.”

He takes a step back as if I’ve struck him, and my heart aches at how much he’s fighting. I just need to help him win.

“You know my limits. You could easily take my SOUL and leave the Underground if you wanted. But you don’t. Instead, you stand by me and care for me far more than I deserve. I know I’ll never be good enough as a sister. That’s why I’m just waiting for the day that you finally decide to leave me behind. I wish I could be the sister you deserved; I wish I was strong enough to get you both out of that hell the second I knew you existed. But I’m not, and I never will be strong enough to truly protect you. Even now, you’re suffering and I can’t do a damn thing about it. The most I can say is I’m sorry, but I know that’s not good enough.”

The magic disappears from his face and he stares at me in shock, his eyes telling me he heard every word.

“Are you kidding me, Krista?” Sans says, shortcutting to crush me into a hug. He chuckles lightly, “You knew those words would be enough to get me free, because I gotta make sure you damn well know they’re lies.”

“It worked,” I whisper in response before he’s ripped away from me and I’m facing Asriel once more.

“Asriel! It doesn’t have to be like this! We can be friends!” Frisk yells beside me and I raise an eyebrow at her. What makes her think he’ll agree?

“No,” he growls, “I don’t need anyone; I’ll tear you both apart!”

He sends out those blasts of pastel light, and I create a shield to protect us, finally reaching my limit with him.

“Do you really think this is the world you want? What do you plan to do? Kill us and destroy the Surface? Do you want a world of silence and darkness?” I ask, feeling a prick of fear that it’s a goal he’ll accomplish.

Asriel’s eyes wince with a pained expression and he looks away, gritting his razor teeth.

“Chara,” he murmurs, “Chara, do you know why I’m doing this?”

The mention of her name makes my throat tighten, but I have to remind myself that he means a different version of her: the sweet, quiet girl she supposedly once was. 

Frisk and I exchange a look, and I wonder if this is Asriel’s “Distant Side” suddenly taking over.

“Do you know why I’m fighting so hard to keep you around?” Asriel asks before dropping small fireballs, but they’re nowhere close to hitting us.

“I’m doing this… because you’re the only one who understands me, Chara. You’re special, and I… I care about you more than anyone else. I’m not ready to say goodbye again.”

The tremors in his voice make me nervous, but it’s not enough to prepare me for his sudden scream of anguish. “So please, stop doing this and let me win!”

He forms an enormous blast of power and burns it into us, making me fall to my knees at how overwhelmingly painful it is. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s fire and ice and knives and whips. It’s fear and sorrow and hatred and loneliness. It’s so bright and yet I can feel the tug of darkness beckoning. It’s the culmination of every kind of pain I’ve ever felt, and I just want it to  _ end _ . But I can’t die yet. I can’t die yet.  _ I can’t die yet. _

The pain suddenly stops at once, and I gasp at the instant shock of relief. I glance over at Frisk and she seems to be in a similar state. But when I look up at Asriel, it’s like nothing ever happened as he closes his eyes.

“Chara… I’m so alone… so afraid. I…” the world suddenly brightens and the winged creature disappears. In its place is a small white goat in a green shirt with yellow stripes and black pants. He cries into his arm for only a few seconds until he finally looks up at us.

“I’m sorry, I was always a crybaby,” his eyes squint as he looks at us before he gives Frisk a sad smile. “Chara would know, but she’s been gone for some time now. I uh… your name is Frisk, right?” Frisk nods and a few more tears fall from Asriel’s eyes. “You remind me of Chara so much; your Determination is so strong, just like hers. When I was a flower, I forgot what that kind of strength felt like. I forgot what the feeling of love I had for her felt like, too. But now… with everyone’s SOULs inside me, I have my compassion back, and I can feel theirs, too. They all care about each other so much, and they care about you, too, Frisk. I wish I could tell you how everyone feels about you. There’s just… so much love. Monsters are weird, even though they barely know you, it feels like they all really love you. Frisk… I can understand if you don’t forgive me-”

“No, I forgive you,” Frisk immediately says. “You had no control. It wasn’t the real you.”

Asriel’s lip wobbles, “As much as I wish I could stay this way, I can’t keep these SOULs inside me. The least I can do is return them, but first, I can feel all their hearts beating as one. They all have the same desire, and with that Determination, it’s time we were all free.”

He stretches out his arms and floats just a few feet into the air as all the SOULs leave his tiny body: the six humans and the thousands of monsters. An earthquake that shakes the world rumbles in the distance, and the shock against my magic makes me immediately realize what he just did.

_ The Barrier was destroyed. _

Asriel floats back to the ground and smiles at Frisk. “Frisk… without everyone’s SOULs, I can’t stay in this form for much longer. I’ll turn back into a flower and lose the ability to love. So it’s best if you just forget about me.”

Frisk shakes her head and walks up to the little goat to pull him into a hug. Asriel holds her tight and she rubs his back, not caring about the little tears that soak into her shoulder. When she finally lets go, Asriel gives her one last request, “Take care of Mom and Dad for me, okay?”

Frisk nods before she disappears; I expect to leave, also, but it’s as if Asriel finally realized I’m here, too.

“There are things I wanted to say to you alone… if only because I’ve put you through more than I could ever be forgiven for,” he says as new tears slip from his hazel eyes. “For one, because many monsters  _ do  _ know you… I can’t describe how immeasurable their love for you is. Sans and Papyrus especially, you mean more to them than the Surface and freedom combined. And all I did was torture you three even more… and there’s no way I can be forgiven for that. And… I gave you a  _ Death Vow _ , too.”

Asriel chokes on his words and he sobs into his hands, but he forces himself to continue. “And... I killed you so many times and  _ enjoyed  _ it. And I killed your dog and your brother and… I’m just so sorry, beyond any words, I am  _ so sorry _ for everything.”

“Asriel,” I say gently as I approach him. “In all honesty, I’m not a very forgiving person, and I don’t think I could ever forgive Flowey for what he did.”

Asriel bows his head in shame, and I put a hand on his shoulder. “But I can forgive you for what  _ you’ve  _ done because you truly regret what you did.”

The words sound harsh and judgmental as I say them, but it’s how I feel. I see my own mess of self-hatred and regret in him, and as much as I doubt  _ I’m  _ worth forgiving, that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be. He’s just a child, afraid and alone in a world without his sister. He has enough pain, and the extra damage of my hatred is not another hurt he needs to carry.

“I think I deserve a worse punishment than my own regret,” Asriel murmurs.

“No,” I say as I pull him into a hug. “We all tear ourselves to shreds, and if I can’t forgive you, then I don’t deserve to be forgiven either.”

Asriel shakes as I hold him, and when he finally pulls away, he gives me a pained smile. “You’re going to do great, Krista. Whatever you choose to do, you’re going to have so many people support you, remember that.”

Then he steps back and walks away as the world fades into white.

***

“-sta?” 

“Come on, Krista.”

“Wake up!”

My eyes prick open to a bright room, but they fight to adjust on the two concerned faces peering down at me. I feel hands grip both of my shoulders, as if they’ll keep me awake as I finally focus on Sans and Papyrus.

I make eye contact with each of them before forcing a smirk and saying, “You two are definitely cleaning the dishes tonight.”

They both breathe a sigh of relief before pulling me up into a hug, and I hold them back just as tightly.

“What happened?” Papyrus asks.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing,” I say as they help me to my feet.

“It was Flowey, he took everyone’s SOULs, but… I don’t remember much after that,” Sans says.

“But you remember fighting me, right?” I ask, trying to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal.

Both of their heads snap to me, but Papyrus is the only one who speaks. “What?”

“Okay, maybe not that, but you don’t even remember talking to me afterwards? When he lost his control over you?”

“Krista,  _ what the hell happened _ ?” Sans demands.

“Well-”

I hear a bark and look over to see Cody running out of the Throne Room.

“Puppy!” I say, leaning down to scoop him up. He licks my face, and I rub his head to get him to stop. “You get so excited when it’s only been, what, an hour?”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Frisk says and I finally look behind me to see her, Undyne, Alphys, Asgore, and who I assume to be Toriel gathered near the hallway that leads to the Barrier room. “But I guess that doesn’t matter now.”

My eyes glance to the hallway and I raise an eyebrow at her. “You ready to leave?”

She smirks, “I think we all are, but I’m not sure if I should go back and tell everybody else.”

“I think they’ll know,” I say as I realize there’s a sort of lightness to the air; it’s a declaration that centuries of being smothered in the dark have finally ended.

“Then let’s go!” Undyne yells, heading for the Barrier room. Papyrus takes off after her, and I put Cody on the ground so he can follow. Alphys is next and Asgore walks behind her. I inch towards the hallway just as Toriel reaches it and she extends a hand.

“I believe you are Krista?” she asks, distracting me for a moment when I see her green eyes. Asriel’s were a perfect mix of her green and Asgore’s honey color. Just like Asriel, Toriel’s a white goat with floppy ears, and she’s dressed in a purple gown with the Delta Rune symbol imprinted on the front.

I shake her hand and nod, “You got it.”

“I look forward to hearing your story once the frenzy of returning to the Surface dies down. I doubt many other humans entered the Underground through the Barrier.”

“Not many that I’ve heard,” I admit as I let her walk ahead of me and into the Barrier room.

I step in front of the entrance and immediately flinch when warm light hits my face. I squint and blink away the spots in my eyes to see the world of black and white is gone. There’s nothing but a straight, dark path to an exit, an exit that leads to the Surface, to sunlight, to freedom.

It suddenly feels like I’m being suffocated as I look at that distant blue sky and the golden glow of the sunset. I was never supposed to survive long enough to get here. I was  _ meant  _ to die a long time before this. I shouldn’t be here. I should stay in the dark. I can’t… I  _ shouldn’t _ …

“Hey,” Sans says and I feel his hand grip my shoulder. “You’re okay; you’ve been up there before.”

“That’s not the point,” I whisper. “I’m not ready. Things have changed. I don’t deserve-”

“Don’t get like this,” he hisses. “We’re going up there, and  _ you  _ damn well deserve it. Come on, we’ll go together.”

My heart thunders in my chest as he grabs my hand and tugs me forward. Somehow, my feet move, closer and closer to that exit. When we reach the threshold, I freeze and stare down at that line, the place where dark stone and warm grass meets. A tug of terror makes me look back into the room where I was once tortured, where the power my ancestor created festered and kept thousands prisoner.

We made it…  _ I  _ made it… and I must face this new world, this new reality. A burst of courage stirs inside me, and I step forward into the sweet spring air.


	6. Where You Once Belonged

We travel up a small hill to overlook the valley before us, dotted with wildflowers just beginning to bloom. The city towers over the land to the distant right, and Ebott Mountain is a silhouette against the sky to the left. And straight ahead… the gorgeous, bright sun warms my chilled skin.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it everyone?” Toriel asks to the far left. I look over to see her standing on the end with Frisk next to her, then Asgore, then Alphys, Undyne, Papyrus, me, and Sans on my right. Cody nuzzles against my leg, and I look down in surprise, wondering how he’s so good at sneaking up on me.

“So _this_ is what you guys lived with?” Undyne asks. “I can see why it was worth fighting for.”

Alphys says something, but I stop hearing her as I look back at the sun’s rays, squinting at the extreme brightness my eyes have forgotten. I suddenly get an immense hyper-awareness of my surroundings as I close my eyes: the warmth of the sun, the cool breeze rolling over the valley, the scent of pine from the nearby forest, the chattering of birds. 

I’ve forgotten so much. I’m so used to silence and darkness that it’s a shock to be reminded of the scents and sensations I grew up with. It reminds me of all those months ago when Gaster knew I missed the seasons. Maybe it’s because I’m a kid or simply because I’m a human, but my heart burns with ache as I remember this feeling. It’s spring, the world is waking up from winter’s slumber and new life begins. But even though it _looks_ the same, it’s not the same world I left. So much has changed, _I_ have changed. The Krista that grew up here died in a dark lab underground, and whatever I have become now has to learn how to survive in this world.

I don’t notice the tears until I open my eyes and feel several of them slide down my cheeks. But I don’t feel any shame as I simply brush them away.

“I think you should have described the Surface in greater detail,” Sans says.

“Did I do a bad job?” I ask, looking over to see one of his real, genuine smiles.

“Just a bit,” he pinches his fingers for emphasis. “You also didn’t tell me you’ve been hiding your real hair color.”

“Huh?” I ask and he lifts a clump of my dark brown hair, revealing the subtle hints of blonde that only the sunlight can show.

“Your dad was blond, right?” he asks.

“Yeah, so there are hints of it, but you’d never know without sunlight.”

“Any other secrets that only the Surface can tell?”

“You’ll figure them out before I do,” I say, looking back towards the city.

What to do now? Where do we go? We’ve finally made it, but people still think monsters are nothing more than forgettable legends. How can we get them to accept reality?

“ _You’ll most certainly need some help_ ,” Lissaria purrs and my heart nearly leaps into my throat. The Whisperers. I forgot about them. They’ve been prisoners of the Underground for far longer than the monsters, and they want vengeance. How can I convince _them_ not to destroy the Surface?

“Oh, how I’ve _dearly_ missed the early spring air,” Lissaria chirps behind us, and we all turn to see her proudly walk out of the Underground.

What the hell am I going to do?

“Lissaria,” Asgore says, stunned.

She gives him a wicked smile, “So nice to see you again, _Your Majesty_ . It’s only been… what was it again, _nine hundred years_ since our last conversation. The halls of New Home have been awfully quiet, and all that time to think has allowed a bitter taste to imprint itself onto my tongue. I found your parting words to be quite insulting, and now that I have the full extent of my magic back, I feel it’s time you understood how _I_ feel.”

She’s about to lunge forward when black claws wrap around her front leg, and Jex reveals his midnight blue head, the color seeming much lighter in the sunlight.

“Now, now, dear sister, we wouldn’t want negativity to poison such a joyous time, would we?” he says, stepping out of the Underground himself.

She gives him a smile, as if she expected him to show up at this precise time. “I suppose not, brother.”

“Jexlauorous,” Toriel says, her voice a tight whisper.

“If it isn’t the daughter of healers who rejected my request. How has centuries in self-exile felt?” he sneers as I finally notice the immeasurable amount of _power_ surrounding him. I knew much was suppressed, but I’m not even trying to read the strength of his SOUL and I can already feel so much. What is Jex capable of now? Free from any limitations beyond his physical injuries?

“Whoa, whoa, wait. Who the hell are you guys?” Undyne asks before looking to her king. “Why have you never said anything about them, Asgore?”

Jex laughs, “Really, Undyne? You do not remember _me_?”

She flinches and I wonder if he threw her through a memory for a split second. “Y- your that creature,” is all she says. Undyne has always known about creatures living in Waterfall’s caves, but I’m guessing she never knew exactly _what_ they were. Maybe Asgore kept knowledge of the Magic Whisperers from his people the same way my ancestors convinced the world that monsters were mere legends.

“Good, now I suggest you step aside while we fulfill the wishes we’ve nurtured in prison for nearly two millenniums,” Jex says, walking entirely out of the Underground, proud to display every scar marring his mangled body.

“And what would those wishes be?” I snap, not trusting that sly face.

He smirks, “No disrespect, Your Majesty, but you’re not exactly in the position to demand a certain behavior from me.”

Every head to my right turns in my direction, and I bite the inside of my lip as I stare him down. Of course he’d reveal my heritage to everyone; it’s not surprising, it’s only infuriating.

But he simply tells me what he really wants to say in my head, _“You know the humans will see you as a murderer. If I were you, I’d recommend allowing us a few moments to indulge in the spoils of the Surface. I have more than enough power to make the monsters’ return to the Surface as smooth as possible. I can also clear your name with a simple trick. No one in the world will know what really happened on that day except for the people you’ve told yourself. Wouldn’t that be nice?”_

“I’d say we still have a right to know what you plan to do,” is my only spoken response. But in my mind, I ask, _“What’s the cost?”_

He smiles, _“No cost. I want to see you succeed, and you never will with how unreasonable many of the humans are.”_

A ripple of power makes the ground tremble, and the others will probably think it means he’s irritated, but I know what it is before he says it. _“There, it can never be changed. No Reset or Save or Determination or Whisperer could ever undo that. Your name is clear, Krista Meadows. Consider this a gift.”_

“Very well, Your Majesty, I promise our wishes are not malicious toward the humans or the beautiful Surface. Us Whisperers merely wish to draw our power upon it, as I have just demonstrated,” Jex says smoothly.

“To do what?” Undyne hisses.

“Why to live, dear Captain. You can understand a desire to live to the fullest, right?” Jex asks.

“How unfortunate that it’s merely a dream after centuries in hell,” a new voice rasps from the Underground as what looks to be a komodo dragon appears. However, the dragon is several times larger than the actual animal and only a little bit smaller than Lissaria. He’s probably four feet taller than me with a mouth that could bite my head off with one clean snap. His feet are webbed and he sticks his neon green tongue out to taste the spring air. But the most stunning feature he has is the color of his scales, a neon orange with a few spots of black. Unlike Jex and Lissaria’s beaten bodies, he doesn’t seem to have a speck of a scar on him.

“Wenzandrik, how nice of you to join us,” Lissaria muses, glancing at Sans.

The komodo dragon scans us with his light blue eyes, as if he’s searching for something while he continues to stick his tongue out. “It was a little difficult to escape Hotland’s lava. It’s quite chilly up here without the comfort of its _scalding_ , bone melting heat.”

Based on his tone… he is _pissed_ but not because he has a reason to leave Hotland. No, it’s because he has spent so much time in a seemingly eternal hell, and _he_ is the one who wants to make someone else suffer.

When Wenzandrik’s eyes land on me, I freeze as a smile inches onto his stony face. “I didn’t know you still knew how to curse Death Vows onto other SOULs, Lissaria. Mind if I have a taste?”

Lissaria chuckles as she creeps around the young Whisperer so she blocks his path to me. “Yes I do, Wenzandrik. She’s _mine_.” 

“A _Death Vow_?” Asgore asks, snapping his gaze to me in question.

“Krista, how much have you been keeping from us?” Undyne asks.

“Now wait a minute,” Sans says, immediately on the defensive as I look to see Wenzandrik inching around Lissaria.

“I only want a taste; you can’t tell me what to do anymore,” the orange dragon tries to reason.

“Oh, I most certainly can,” Lissaria counters.

“Huh, well then I guess I’ll have to resort to other measures,” Wenzandrik shrugs before shooting lava into Lissaria’s eyes. She snarls in either pain or anger as the Whisperer lunges for me.

I’m about to use my magic when he’s stopped with a choked cry and my eyes snap up to Jex. The King of the Whisperers buries his teeth into Wenzandrik’s neck and throws him onto the ground, tearing a chunk of scaly flesh from his body. Yellow blood sprays onto the grass as Jex digs his claws into the wound for good measure.

“How _dare_ you attempt to harm a SOUL that has already been claimed by your superior. I should rip your head off and imprison you in Hotland’s lava for another thousand years. But I think I may have something better,” Jex says.

Lissaria recovers in mere seconds, far faster than when I hurt her, and she digs her claws into Wenzandrik’s lungs. “How about we take a little trip?” she asks before dragging him back into the Underground.

“My apologies, Your Majesty,” Jex says to me. “His immaturity still disappoints me.”

“Okay, what is this? Why do you keep acknowledging her as royalty?” Undyne demands.

Jex smiles, “As you might have guessed based on her last name, she is a descendant of the Meadows family, the human sympathizers to the monsters during the War. It was specifically Terren Meadows, the only surviving member after the Determination wizard had them executed.”

“All of them?” Toriel whispers.

Jex nods, “That is her mother’s side. Her _father’s_ side, however, is descended from none other than the tyrant himself, King Xanvalus Curonius, the Determination wizard. I believe you also remember his Perseverant queen, Erivellia Suffriss, correct?”

I don’t like the look that passes between Asgore and Toriel _at all_. Undyne just stares at me in shock and Papyrus glares at Jex, as if this was the biggest secret I’ve been trying to hide.

“No wonder,” a creature chuckles from the Underground and Cyfalian reveals his pale head. His cloudy eyes gaze in my direction and he smiles, “I’ve missed you, dearest.”

“H- have you met a- all of them?” Alphys asks me and I raise an eyebrow in surprise. She’s been so quiet; I’d forgotten she’s been here the whole time.

“Not me,” a sweet, girlish voice says as a dark green dragon with short claws and stubby horns emerges from the Underground. She’s only slightly bigger than Wenzandrik, but she seems to be the least fierce of all of them. Her wings are whole, like Lissaria’s, but she also has her fair share of scars.

“Oh, how sad,” she says only seconds after looking at my brothers and I. For some reason, I guess out of respect, she switches into our heads.

 _“What is it, my dear?”_ Jex asks her and I raise an eyebrow at the term of endearment, at the fact that he’ll let us _know_ of whatever connection they have.

_“Those two skeletons, they only have about a hundred years of life in their fragile SOULs, and that is being as generous as possible. The more reasonable timeline would be eighty years. I’m so sorry, you two.”_

Sans raises an eye socket, _“Are you a hundred percent serious?”_

She nods, _“I guess you could call that good news, considering your sister’s limited lifespan.”_ She looks to my other brother, _“Interpret it as you like, Papyrus.”_

Papyrus looks to us and he slowly smiles, _“I will also call it good news. I’d rather have a handful of years here with my entire family than thousands with only a fraction of it.”_

If there weren’t so many watching eyes, I’d probably burst into tears all over again at their willingness to accept the short lives they shouldn’t have.

“I’m guessing you are reading our lifespans, Yriett?” Toriel asks the green dragon.

“Perceptive as always, Your Majesty,” Yriett says with a bow.

“I am not the queen anymore,” Toriel snaps.

“My apologies, you have always exuded a regality that I struggle to ignore. As much as you will deny your past title, I find it too distracting to forget.”

“Excuse me, but we need to focus on what’s important which is bringing monsterkind back to the Surface,” Frisk cuts in.

Jex smiles, “I thought you needed to get back home, Frisk Ebott. Don’t you want to see your family?”

Frisk’s face drains of color and I walk down the hill towards the Whisperers, fed up with their games.

“Alright Jex, how about this: if you agree to keep a low profile for the time being, I will fulfill my side of our deal as soon as possible to get you out of here,” I say, staring into his golden eyes with sincerity.

“I need a timeline, little queen,” he says with a smirk.

“What do you think is realistic?”

“I will give you until summer. After that, the Surface is ours,” he says slyly.

“Agreed.”

“Krista!” Asgore snaps.

“Agreed,” Jex snorts with a flash of black light fire. “But I must say, there should be _some_ hours allotted for us to leave the Underground.”

“Two to four in the morning within this area, and _no_ entering city limits,” I command.

He bows, “As you wish, Your Majesty.”

Then he, Yriett, and Cyfalian turn back into the shadows of the Underground.

“What the hell did you just do?” Undyne snaps.

I turn around and cross my arms with confident ease, hoping they can’t tell how fast my heart is beating. “I took care of a problem, you’re welcome.”

“I don’t think you realize how dangerous it is to make deals with Whisperers,” Toriel scolds.

I shrug, “One of them already has a claim on my life. What more do I have to lose?”

“And when the hell did that happen?” Undyne hisses.

“December, a few days before Gyftmas, actually.”

“And you never mentioned it to _me_?” Undyne yells, then she looks to my brothers. “How much do you know about this?”

“Everything,” they say in unison.

“Oh, so your whole little family is just keeping secrets from the rest of us. Anything else you’d like to reveal?”

Papyrus and Sans exchange a glance, and I know Undyne will read into it. She’ll pressure them for every detail until one of them, most definitely Papyrus, will reveal the most horrific part of their lives.

She’s about to say something when I throw my coat off and shove my right sleeve up, displaying my Death Vow to the world.

“There, you happy, Undyne?” I snap, holding up my arm to show the true damage of my wound. The dark red veins, the main slice from my elbow to my wrist, the fragility of the wound itself, glistening in the sunlight.

“H- how did it happen?” Alphys timidly asks.

“That doesn’t matter now,” I say dismissively, shoving my sleeve down and throwing my coat back on. “What does is how we’re going to approach the humans. We can’t just go walking into the city and expect to be accepted, most people believe you guys are nothing more than legends.”

“Then what do we do?” Undyne asks.

“I think I may have an idea,” Frisk says.

“Do tell.”

“But it may not go the way we want it to.”

“When do they ever?” Sans mutters with a smirk.

***

We head down the hill towards the city, in the exact direction of where my house is. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stomach seeing it again, but I will admit that I’m curious to see what’s happened to it.

Alphys stayed at the Underground’s exit to tell any monsters who try to leave why they should stay back for a bit, just until we’re sure it’s safe.

Our walk to the city is… awkward, to say the least. I’m not surprised that the Whisperers decided to reveal both my heritage and my Death Vow. But I never _intended_ for the others to know those things. It’s caused Undyne to give me the silent treatment as she leads the group with Frisk.

I stay near the back and I can feel Agore’s eyes on me as he inches to my side. I want to roll my eyes, but I can’t escape the inevitable discussion.

“Yes, sir?” I ask him.

“You’ve been busy in your time living on your own,” is all he says.

“If you are referring to my heritage, I had no part in the decisions of either side,” I almost snap, knowing that’s not what he meant at all.

“I am not upset about your heritage, although, yes, it is quite surprising how the circumstances worked out. I am meaning your interactions with the Whisperers, you must realize how dangerous they are. Magic Whisperers are liars and manipulators, they love the power they hold over others and they take advantage of that.”

“I am aware of the risks,” is all I say, refraining from mentioning that there’s a far more powerful and dangerous entity waiting in the shadows.

“Really? What deal have you made with Jexlauorous then?”

“That is between him and I,” I say curtly, shooting him a cold gaze for prying.

Asgore’s mouth tightens into a straight line, “Jexlauorous and Lissaria seem to respect you, though. If I didn’t know any better, I would think it’s because of your heritage with how much Whisperers envy royalty.”

“Then what do you think it is because of?”

“Your demeanor, your experiences, Magic Whisperers love SOULs that understand true, deep pain and sorrow. The greater the wounds, the more they respect. It gives me the feeling that there are many things you’ve been keeping secret from most of us.”

“I didn’t know it was a requirement for me to spill my guts to everyone I meet,” I say harshly.

Asgore has the strength to hide his flinch. “That is not what I mean. I simply wonder why you choose to bury that pain and suffer in it.”

“I have my reasons, and I am content to live with my choices.”

“Even a Death Vow?”

“If you must know, it was not my choice to receive it.”

“But you’ve accepted an imminent and most likely premature death?”

I smirk, if only he knew… “Death is inevitable. My sister died at ten years old and my mother at twenty-nine, as far as I’m concerned, I’ve already lived a fairly long life.”

This time, he’s unable to hide his flinch and I strut forward, deeming this conversation over.

“You’re not okay,” Sans mutters to me when I reach his side. As far as I can tell, he was the only one within earshot of our conversation.

“Of course not. I thought dealing with one Whisperer was bad enough, and now I’ve got five jumping in my head and trying to bite my arm off,” I whisper.

“It’s not just that,” he says, gesturing to the distant city.

“Jex took care of the most glaring problem… or at least I hope he did.”

“How they died?”

I nod, “I’m not sure how he worked around that, but my name is _apparently_ clear.”

Sans is silent for a moment as he scans the distance. “Your house isn’t far from here, is it?” he asks, remembering how I described its location.

“No, it should actually appear over the next few hills.”

“But do you _want_ to see it?”

I bite my lip and force a nod, “One last time, see if anything has been done to it.”

It’s the only thing I can think to imagine; I don’t want to consider any alternatives.

“Undyne, wait!” Frisk yells ahead and I hear the captain growl in compliance, but I don’t like the other voice I hear.

“Oh my God, what the hell are you!?” a man yells, a _human_ , no doubt.

“Oh, damn it,” I whisper.

“Sir, let me explain,” Frisk tries to reason.

“Explain _what_!? They’re monsters!” the man yells.

“Yes, they are. The legends are true, and the force that kept them Underground has been destroyed.”

“They should have stayed down there!”

“Look, buddy,” Undyne snarls.

“I swear,” I mutter, walking to the front of the group. Maybe it’s because I’m fed up with the Whisperers, maybe it’s because I don’t believe I deserve to be here… maybe it’s because I’m trying to distract myself to keep from breaking down, but I walk up to the man and pat him on the shoulder. He’s probably in his mid-twenties with blond hair and orange eyes, out for a run before it gets dark.

“I’m sure this is earth-shattering news, but look, we’re humans and we’re fine. Monsters are people like us. They have thoughts and feelings and wishes, too. Hostility isn’t going to get us anywhere, so I ask you, do you want to be afraid just because you’re finally learning the truth? Or do you want to work towards a better, more understanding world?”

He raises an eyebrow and says, “I think you’re crazy.”

“Maybe a little bit. Getting along with people who look different from us sure sounds difficult, doesn’t it?”

His eyes widen at all that I’m implying and he looks up at Undyne. “So… the monsters from the legends are real, and you think they should live among humans now that they’re not trapped underground anymore?”

“I think that sounds fairly reasonable, do you not?”

He scoffs, “Even if I accepted this reality, I’m not a person of power. How could my opinion matter?” 

“Because you’re one more person who wants to make things better instead of trying to make them worse. I’m assuming you have family and friends? Things are going to get difficult very quickly, and it’d be nice to have some support.”

The man slowly nods and I stick out my hand, “I’m Krista, what’s your name?”

He shakes my hand with a stunned expression, “Derek, Derek Miller.”

“Well Derek, would you mind telling us a person of power we should contact?”

“I’d say the mayor first, and then the city council, but… when this gets out, it’ll probably be national news. Everyone in the country is going to want to have a say in this.”

“I think we’ll start with Ebott City and go from there. Thanks for all your help,” I say with a wave and continue on as if the interaction never happened, ever the picture of normalcy.

The others follow and I know Derek is staring in our direction long after we dip below the hill. As far as reactions go, I’d say that went fairly well, if only everyone could be convinced as easily. Then again, he’s probably still in shock

“I think you should be the Ambassador,” Frisk says to my left and I raise an eyebrow.

“What?”

“You know, what we were saying earlier? Alphys suggested I be the monsters’ Ambassador to the humans, but I think you’re a better speaker and you’ve known them longer.”

“Is this also your way of getting out so you can find your family?” I ask, not feeling too enthusiastic about being the designated representative. I can deal with one person, but a _crowd_ of people? Perhaps even the whole country? I can only imagine the scrutiny, the disdain I will face from the people who will refuse to accept this new world. But then again, who else would be willing to do the job?

Frisk ducks her head, “Well… people won’t respect me; I’m just a kid.”

I laugh, “Really? I’m not much older than you.”

“True… but you have a presence that demands people’s attention. You can get them to listen. I’m… not noticeable like that.”

I shrug, not believing a word of what she says, but I guess it does make more sense for me to be the Ambassador. “Fine, but you’re at least coming with me to get things in motion. Can you wait a day to find out what happened to your family?”

She nods as we finally reach a distance from the city that’s almost too close for comfort for the monsters. I glance to my left, in the direction of where my house should be and immediately look away. No, I can’t look yet. I need to focus on the immediate necessities, which is informing the city’s government of how much this quiet place is about to change.

I stop and turn around to face the group, formulating a vague plan on how to proceed. “Alright, can we all agree this is about as far as any of you should go for now?”

Undyne snorts, “Really, Krista? You’re going to make us sit here while you run off?”

“I’m ‘running off’ to inform the government before anything gets out of hand, because if you start strolling down the street, I can guarantee you’re going to get killed.”

She rolls her eye, “Did you forget who you’re talking to?”

“Not at all, which is why you are not going to get _anywhere_ near that city. Do you want to start another war?”

She crosses her arms, “So we just sit here?”

“We’ll be as fast as possible, I promise, but this is going to take some time,” Frisk reasons.

“She’s right, we will have to be delicate and nonthreatening when speaking with the humans,” Toriel says.

“Fine,” Undyne sighs, glaring down at me. “Get going, _Ambassador_.” 

I glare back at her before turning around and heading the rest of the way to the city, not even sparing a glance at the rest of them. As much as I wish to say something to my brothers, I’m too upset with Undyne to be near her for another second.

Frisk and I head down the remaining hills and into the city streets, bustling with activity as the evening Friday rush sizzles through the air. I have forgotten this atmosphere, too. The sounds of cars and people yelling over the noise. The stench of exhaust mixed with the aromas of restaurants and flower pots hanging in the trees. The constant humidity that hangs in the spring air as the sun’s heat gets trapped between the towering buildings. And above all, what was once normal to see walk by me and out of the corners of my eyes is now jarring and a little frightening: my fellow humans.

The most horrifying fact is that I don’t see them as other people like me anymore. I see them as a _them_ , a different people who don’t understand the world _I_ know. Worst of all, the only thing I can note about them is their eye color as they pass by.

Patience. Patience. Bravery. Integrity. Kindness. Bravery. Justice. Patience. 

_Stop it. Stop doing this, Krista._

I look straight ahead and bite my lip, forcing myself to focus on what needs to be done.

“If I’m right, I think City Hall should be only a few blocks ahead,” Frisk says as I realize she’s been talking this whole time.

“How do you know?” I ask.

“Oh… well… everybody knows the Hall is at the center of the city, right?” She laughs nervously before sighing, “But in truth, it’s near where my dad was killed.”

“How close?”

“Only about a block, but I think I’ll be okay as long as I don’t see the exact spot.”

“Lead the way, then,” I say, not very sure where the Hall is anyway. I know it’s an old-looking building, probably the oldest building in the city, but other than that, I don’t know too much about it. I’m surprised Frisk knew right off the bat that it’s where we’ll find the mayor. When I think about it, it’s obvious, but my education of government structure and official buildings is pretty limited. I probably know more about royalty than the governmental structure of my own country.

“I guess this is all pretty weird for you?” Frisk asks giving me a glance.

“What do you mean?” I say as if I’m not bothered by the humans we pass.

“All these people, the city, the sunset, I’d think you’d be less used to it after being away for over a year.”

“Yeah, it’s… a little jarring,” I admit, realizing I’m not doing too badly only because we’re on the east side of the city. I know the south and west areas the best, and I’m sure they’ll freak me out whenever I inevitably see them again. I can handle the people… eventually, but when I see the places that defined the life I once had… I’m not sure if I’ll be able to brush off my anxiety as easily.

Frisk notices my hesitation to say more and she drops the conversation, leaving the city to speak for us until a question of my own comes to mind.

“Was meeting with the mayor the idea you had in the first place?” I ask.

“Kind of, I knew it had to be someone of power. To be honest, I actually thought to contact the police first so they’d be prepared for chaos in the streets, but maybe it’d be better if they got a warning from someone with authority.”

She seems ashamed of her idea and I say, “That wasn’t too bad of an idea, you were on the right track.”

She shrugs, “I don’t think it’s good enough to make me an Ambassador.”

I’m about to argue when we finally reach the only building in the city that reminds me of New Home. The gray brick, the columns surrounding the building topped with a domed roof, the architecture representing a time of grandeur and formality, it sticks out like a scuff mark on a white wall. The words _City Hall_ are imprinted above the entrance as we walk up a handful of steps and into the cool building.

“Here we go,” Frisk whispers, effectively ending our conversation.

The main hall is brightly lit with orange and golden light as the sunset shines in through the windows circled around the domed ceiling. The waxed, cream-colored marble floor seems too pretty for me to walk on it, and our footsteps echo off the empty walls, giving me vague reminders of the Judgement Hall. There’s a hallway that branches off to our left, with two others on either side of the wall before us, but I get the sense that we can’t go anywhere until we talk to the woman at the grand desk directly in front of us. 

She seems fairly young, probably in her early thirties with straight black hair to her shoulders and green glasses that nearly disguise her almond eyes. I struggle to make out their color, and I’m unsure whether they’re blue or green.

She just barely raises an eyebrow as we approach, but she folds her hands together and straightens her shoulders as if we’re respectable clients. I glance at the nameplate on her desk: _Lacey_.

“How can I help you two?” she asks, unable to entirely hide her condescending tone.

“Hi, yes, can we speak with the mayor?” Frisk naïvely asks.

“Do you have an appointment?” Lacey says professionally.

“Well… no, but it’s urgent.”

Lacey rests her chin on her hand, clearly unimpressed. “It’s not something your parents can take care of?”

“Not when my dad is dead, and I don’t even know if my mom is still alive,” Frisk says boldly. 

Wow, I didn’t know she had _that_ in her.

Lacey’s jaw clenches and her tan cheeks turn light pink, unable to hide her embarrassment. “What’s your name?”

“Frisk Verity Ebott.”

Lacey sits up straight as a new expression softens her face: pity. “I think you should speak with the police department instead of the mayor.”

“Why?”

The woman turns to her computer and clicks a few times before typing in something. Her eyes scan the screen before she turns the computer so we can see it. An article titled, _“Family Found Dead, Youngest Member Missing”_ engulfs the screen, showing a picture of police cars in front of what I assume to be Frisk’s house. I spot Frisk’s name only a few sentences into the first paragraph, noting that the only description they can offer is her hair and eye color. I guess that would be enough considering she’s probably the only person in the city at her age with brown eyes. But of course, that is not an accurate description anymore.

I know Frisk can’t even move past the first sentence, so I read it over again and again to understand the impact it has on her.

_On Friday morning at 8:36, a call was made to the Ebott City police from the neighbors of Amber Ebott, stating that the forty-six-year-old woman and her nineteen-year-old son, Brennon Ebott, were discovered and believed to be dead._

“Would you like me to get you in touch with the police department?” Lacey gently asks Frisk while turning her computer back to its original spot.

Frisk takes a deep breath and shakes her head, “No, we have more important issues to deal with than this.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah just…” Frisk sighs and rubs her face. “Give me a minute.”

She stumbles back a couple steps and I grab her arm, ushering her over to a couch against the wall to our right.

“We don’t have to do this today; I’m sure the others will understand,” I whisper to her when she sits down.

“ _No_. I want to do this today. They deserve freedom, and I am not going to hold everyone back,” she hisses.

“Okay then,” I say, rubbing her shoulder a bit before walking back to Lacey.

“Can I ask what your connection to her is?” the woman asks, only slightly suspicious.

“I only just met her today.”

“And what is your name?” Lacey says, her gaze making me worried that Jex may have not fulfilled his “gift” to me.

“Krista.”

Lacey slightly raises an eyebrow, demanding a second name. Ever since I’ve learned what my last name means in terms of heritage, I feel hesitant to give it out. But there’s no way she’d know the meaning, otherwise she’d believe the monsters are real, too.

“Meadows.”

She squints at me a bit before glancing at her computer and typing something new in. After a good minute, her eyes slightly widen. “You’re that girl that went missing over a year ago after your house collapsed.”

I can’t help my question, “What?”

“You _are_ her, right? It says Sheldon and Mable Meadows were found in the wreckage and confirmed to be deceased, but Krista, the other daughter, was never found.”

My throat dries to the point that I struggle to breathe as the pieces fall into place. After they found the bodies, I’m guessing the police or whoever disposed of them and tore the house down. After all, who would want to live in something so old and full of death? That’s how Jex twisted it, instead of bullets ending their lives, it was the house collapsing. No one would question it, and my excuse could be that I was at work while it happened and ran away in blind grief when I found out.

Lacey reads my expression and says, “Perhaps… I could get you two to meet with the mayor today. She normally leaves by five on Fridays, but I think she’ll make an exception for you two. Let me see if I can catch her in time.”

She gets up and turns to walk down the hallway to my right, leaving the computer at a slight angle for me to see. I only get a look at the picture as it takes up the whole screen to see my house in pieces. It’s incomprehensible in terms of figuring out how it used to be structured, but the sight doesn’t make me any less heartbroken. Sure, I probably would have never been able to set foot inside it again, but at least it would still exist. The house my mother grew up in, the house filled with so many memories, both happy and devastating. As much as it became a prison, it was still _home_. The only place my sister and I ever knew. And now… all those little things we had: pictures, books, things Mom had that we held onto to remember her… they’re all gone.

My fingers wrap around my locket, and I feel pain in my eyes as tears threaten to well up, but I force them back. It was just a building. Besides, I should be happy it’s gone. One less reminder, right?

I hear footsteps echo down the hallway and Lacey stands at its entrance. “She will see you now.”


	7. The First Step

We head down the hall and turn into the first room on our right: the mayor’s office. Lacey shuts the door as she leaves and Frisk and I stand in the silent room, staring into the face of the woman who currently has the greatest say in the fate of the monsters.

I’m guessing she’s in her mid-forties based on the faint wrinkles beginning to set in, along with the occasional silver hairs dotted among the black corkscrew curls that frame her face. Her skin is a deep brown, which helps make her banana yellow eyes all the more stunning. How fitting that a person in her position of power would hold the trait of Justice. Could that give us an advantage?

She gestures for us to sit in the two chairs before her desk, and we take a seat as I glance at her nameplate:  _ The Honorable Evelynn Ross, Mayor of Ebott City _ .

“I have heard a great deal about you two; however, I would think you would wish to meet with other authorities considering your… circumstances,” Evelynn says.

“We will… eventually, but we have more pressing matters to deal with at the moment,” I say.

“More pressing than dealing with the very recent deaths of Miss Ebott’s family? More pressing than explaining your sudden reappearance after a year and two months?”

“Yes,” is all I can say in response.

“Then what is it?” Evelynn asks with a far more patient tone than I would expect. 

Here are two very secretive kids who mysteriously disappeared after their families’ deaths, and she’s just willing to hear us out?

“It is something that would be better to show you rather than tell you about, Madam Mayor,” Frisk says shyly.

The woman’s face softens, “Please, call me Evelynn, sweetheart.”

“Evelynn,” Frisk says, ducking her head.

“Does this ‘something’ have to do with your disappearances?” the mayor asks, looking us both over, as if the answers are written on our faces.

“Yes,” I say.

She sighs, “How far is this ‘something’?”

“Outside the city limits,” I say.

Evelynn slowly folds her hands together. “Does it have to do with the mountain?”

Frisk and I nod as a shiver of fear runs through me at her measured calmness.

“Look girls… I know you two have been through traumatic experiences, but allowing yourselves to indulge in believing fantasy stories-”

“Nope,” I shake my head before I realize how unbearably rude I’m acting. “With all due respect, Madam Mayor, I suggest that you humor us for the time being. I am willing to tell you exactly where I have been for the last year if you will listen and follow us.”

Evelynn stares me down, her eyes squinting with calculation. “Very well, Miss Meadows, I will follow you two to whatever you wish to show me. However, if there is nothing there and you have wasted my  _ time _ … you must accept professional help to overcome your delusions of grandeur.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I agree.

“Give me a minute to contact my husband so he and my children will know I will be late for dinner,” Evelynn says, giving me a pointed look that I assume is supposed to make me feel guilty.

“Thank you,” is all I say, getting up and opening the door to leave her office. Frisk follows and I walk to the other end of the hall to wait for Evelynn.

I note how she was much kinder towards Frisk than me, and I’m guessing it’s because she’s both younger and she’s been through trauma more recently. I’m not upset about it, in fact I would rather have Evelynn direct her frustration at me than Frisk. However, I’ll admit that it’s not enough to keep me from feeling a slight sense of pain.

“Everything is going to be okay… right?” Frisk whispers and I look over to see her staring at the polished floor.

“You think it won’t?” I ask, refraining from giving her false hope. I can tell she’s still thinking about her family, of the undoubtedly miserable aftermath she’ll have to deal with. I’m not sure what to say to comfort her, especially since she’s already trying to distract herself from thinking about it.

“I don’t know, you just seem so confident about everything that I was hoping you’d give me an honest answer.”

“I can’t really say how things will turn out. There are a lot of things I’m nervous about, but I’m going to do everything in my power to ensure everyone will be okay.”

“So I should just hope for the best?” Frisk asks, finally looking at me.

“That’s what I’m doing.”

She nods and Evelynn’s door opens, causing us to straighten. The mayor steps out with her purse in one hand and her black blazer in the other, leaving her in her bright green blouse and dark pink pencil skirt. I notice black heels peeking out of her purse and see she’s wearing sneakers instead, a wise choice where we’re going. Perhaps she really is taking us seriously.

“Lead the way, girls,” she says in a dull tone, clearly annoyed that her evening will assumably be wasted by our “delusions of grandeur.”

We turn to leave the building and I notice Evelynn gives Lacey a folded piece of paper as she walks by the front desk. I’m betting it’s an explanation of how crazy Frisk and I are with the numbers of five different psychologists we should be forced to see.

We exit the building and make our way down the city streets which seem to be even busier as quitting time approaches. I find myself noting the eye colors of more people and dig my nails into my hands as punishment.

_ Stop seeing them as nothing more than magic traits. _

“Would you like to explain where  _ you’ve  _ been, Miss Meadows?” Evelynn asks beside me. I didn’t even notice she had snuck up to walk on my left side. I should have though, considering she’s about a good six inches taller than me.

“You were right when you assumed it had to do with the mountain,” is all I say.

“And you are convinced you met the monsters of the legends underground?” Evelynn straight up asks.

“Is that something I would hallucinate for a year?” I ask, biting back my growing surge of anger.

She shrugs, “People have suffered to much greater degrees.”

I hate how quickly the lie comes to my mind. “When I came home from work that day and I learned of my father’s and sister’s deaths… I ran away. I didn’t think to contact the authorities; I could only wonder why I was lucky enough to survive. I couldn’t stomach it, so I kept going and going until I stumbled upon the entrance to the Underground. It is where the Barrier was that kept the monsters locked down there. Once someone entered the Underground, they could not escape unless the Barrier was broken. So that is where I have been for the last year.”

“What does that have to do with the mountain?” Evelynn asks, clearly not buying a word I say.

“The mountain is the other entrance to the Underground, and most people think of the legends when it is mentioned.”

“So if everything you say is true… what do you hope to achieve?”

“I want monsters to be accepted back into society. I want a world where they and humans can live in peace.”

“That sounds like a lot to ask of people.”

“Which is why I can’t do this alone,” I say, giving her a pointed look.

Evelynn smirks, “You’re a bold little one, if only I could believe you.”

“And I thank you for ‘humoring’ Frisk and I by coming along.”

“You understand that it will be difficult to allow you to live on your own if your story is false.”

My cheeks warm with frustration at her insistent denial, but I only say, “Good thing it isn’t.”

I look straight ahead again and the mayor chuckles, about to say more when I cut her off. “So why didn’t you drive us to the other end of the city? Wouldn’t that have been faster?”

“True, but I’d rather not pay for a parking meter when my car won’t be penalized in the lot. I have had trouble in the past for exceeding my limit far too many times, and if you’re telling the truth, well then this is going to take a while.”

I nod in understanding and suddenly feel my stomach growl when I catch the scent of bread wafting from a bakery. Damn, when was the last time I ate? When was the last time I even drank something? It’s been such a long day that I can barely remember the last time I paused to simply  _ breathe _ . Sure I had a nap, but it’s as if it never happened with everything else that’s occurred. That, along with the pressure and anxiety that’s been building with the Whisperers and getting back to the Surface has certainly taken its toll. And I still have so much to do today.

We make it to the edge of the city and begin heading into the valley as the sun dips lower into the horizon. We’ll make it before it gets dark, but I really can’t tell what’s going to happen once Evelynn learns the truth. Will we have to stay in the Underground for the night and begin negotiations tomorrow?

“I truly don’t think you’re crazy, Krista,” Evelynn suddenly says, making me look up at her in surprise. “My dad loved telling me the stories surrounding this city. Even though he never truly believed them, I saw evidence over the years that suggested some were true. There are records of children disappearing, some leaving notes saying they were going to the mountain. We’ve had occasional blackouts over the years, caused by what scientists claimed to be earthquakes, but others said they were surges of magic from the monsters. I’m not sure what to believe, which is why I can’t deny my suspicions that you and Frisk are simply suffering from trauma. But then again, you seem to be healthy and rational. I cannot say much more until we reach what you wish to show me.”

“Is that why you’re willing to follow us?” I ask.

She nods, “I am curious enough to come along, mind you, not many government officials would do this.”

“I can believe that, but do you think any of them would agree with what I hope to achieve?”

Evelynn frowns just as I hear a bark over the hill in front of us, and Cody’s little head appears.

“Finally!” I hear Undyne’s voice and my throat immediately tightens. Here we go.

We make it to the top of the hill, and I see Evelynn tense out of the corner of my eye as she looks down at the five monsters before us.

“Krista,” she murmurs, “I owe you an apology.”

“It’s not necessary if you’re willing to help us,” I say and she slowly nods.

We walk down the hill, and Asgore extends a hand to Evelynn. “I am King Asgore Dreemurr, leader of the Kingdom of the Monsters. I hope you are willing to allow my people to live on the Surface with yours and that we can make this transition as smooth and peaceful as possible.”

Evelynn takes his hand and shakes it firmly, not showing a hint of fear or shock. “Evelynn Ross, Mayor of Ebott City. I currently cannot speak for my citizens or the city council, but I assure you that I wish for this process to be peaceful, too.”

“Seriously?” Undyne asks, not buying the mayor’s words. I’ll admit, they’re difficult for me to accept, too, after how unconvinced Evelynn has seemed since the second she met me.

Evelynn gives Undyne a glare, “Yes, I do wish for peace, and I will admit that this is quite shocking news for me to learn the legends are true. However, I understand how long the sunlight has been kept from your people, and I wish for you to live in it once again as soon as possible. But a transition like this will take some time, especially since it is practically a guarantee that some people will not like it.”

“What is possible for us to achieve tonight?” Toriel asks.

“I can make hotel arrangements for all of you, but the most important people would be those who are willing to speak at City Hall tomorrow. It is possible the news will get out tonight, but we will have to deal with the real impact of it tomorrow.”

“How many rooms can you get?” Undyne asks.

“As many as there are available, but I would call three a realistic number, wouldn’t you?”

The captain simply nods as Sans asks, “Why are you so willing to help us?”

Evelynn’s jaw clenches as she makes eye contact with him, probably uncomfortable with what he is as she says, “Because I understand what it is like to be misunderstood and ignored, and I will not stand to allow anyone to be treated that way under my jurisdiction.”

Undyne’s face hardens into an expression of respect as she walks up to the mayor. “Lead the way, then.”

Evelynn gives her a curt nod and turns to head back up the hill. “The hotel is on the outskirts of the south side of the city. Hopefully this will give you some coverage from being seen by a large amount of people.”

Asgore, Undyne, Frisk, and Toriel follow after her, and I linger in the back to walk near my brothers.

“Was it hard to convince her?” Papyrus softly asks as Cody brushes up against me before walking a few feet ahead.

“Not really, she knows what happened to Frisk’s family, and I think that made her pity us.”

“And what happened to yours?” Sans gently asks.

“Jex made the world believe they were killed by the house collapsing, which makes me think they destroyed it soon after I left.”

“It’s gone?” Papyrus asks.

I nod, “It’s for the best. I know I would have never been able to see it the same way again.”

They’re silent for a minute until Papyrus says, “Won’t we need to tell everyone else about what’s going on?”

“Soon, but didn’t Undyne tell Alphys to make people stay in the Underground for the time being? I’m sure she’ll stick to that until she knows otherwise,” Sans says.

“We’ll need to go back tomorrow, but I’m honestly too tired to do much else today,” I admit.

“At least you got one of the hardest parts done,” Sans says.

“I guess so, but I have a feeling the worst is yet to come.”

***

I hate being too right. The second we reach the city streets, I hear a handful of screams and see people recoil in fear. Yells of, “Monsters!” and “Run!” make me want to roll my eyes and punch the cowards at the same time. But then again, I can see it through their eyes. I was terrified of Gaster when I first saw him, and it was hard to get used to seeing monsters on a daily basis. How bittersweet that I now have the opposite mentality.

A few “brave” souls gather near the hotel entrance, holding up their phones like trophies to film Evelynn’s explanation that the legends are true. Asgore says a few words about peace, and a few people immediately claim the monsters are here to enslave the human race.

“Why are  _ you  _ with them?” a girl about my age asks me, practically shoving her phone in my face, and I spot someone else interrogating Frisk.

“Because it’s not right to hate someone just because they’re different. Monsters are like humans in almost every way. They have thoughts and dreams and emotions, and it’s wrong that they’ve been forced to live underground for so long.”

“You’re not suspicious of them in  _ any way _ ?” the girl snaps and my throat tightens as I catch a glimpse of her eyes: gray. How could someone so young lose her trait so soon?

“I’ll admit that I’m a little suspicious of you, too,” Sans says to the girl, a light tone in his voice that I assume is to get her to calm down.

Her eyes snap to him, “You’re a freaky looking skeleton; I don’t think you’re actually a monster. You’re probably one of my dead cousins coming back to haunt me. Does your name happen to be Alex?”

“No more questions!” Evelynn says over the forming crowd as she ushers us into the hotel.

“I’m going to post this to show the world you’re all a bunch of freaks!” the girl yells after us, and I shove my hands into my pockets to hide them as they clench into fists.

I knew this would be a disaster, but it’s only going to get  _ worse _ .

By some miracle, we make it into the hotel and get to our rooms without too much trouble. We’re placed on the fifteenth floor of this twenty-floor building, giving me a slight sense of peace that no one will be able to find us  _ too  _ easily. Good thing it’s pet-friendly or else I wouldn’t know what to do with Cody.

“I apologize for how difficult this will be, but hopefully the circumstances will improve quickly,” Evelynn says as we reach our section of rooms. There are two rooms on the left and one on the right: 1506, 1507, and 1508.

“Thank you for helping us,” Asgore says. “When should we expect to meet you tomorrow?”

“I will come up here so none of you will face any trouble on your own. I would say seven is a decent time.”

“Seven it will be, then,” the king agrees and Evelynn bids him farewell with a nod before turning to leave.

When she passes me, she offers a faint, tight smile, and I’m unsure whether or not to take it as good news.

“So who’s sleeping where?” Undyne asks, breaking the sudden awkward silence.

“Frisk and I will take a room,” Toriel says, snatching the two keycards with  _ 1508  _ on them from Asgore and quickly entering the room. Frisk quietly follows behind her, and I hope she’ll find some comfort with the mother figure she seems to trust more than anyone else.

“The four of us are good here,” Sans says, gesturing to the room on the right, and Asgore hands him the 1507 keycards.

“Looks like it’s just you and me, buddy. I’ll take the couch,” Undyne says to Asgore as they enter their room.

Sans opens the door to our room, and he pats the wall until he finds a light switch, illuminating the narrow entrance hallway. There are two doors on the left wall, one that looks to be a closet and another that leads into a bathroom. On the right wall, there’s nothing but a full-length mirror just out of reach of the door. The hallway opens up to a fairly small room, filled with nothing but a nightstand, a small dresser with a TV, a mini refrigerator, and a full size bed. There’s a door to the right that leads into another room that looks exactly the same, only the bed looks to be a queen size.

“I’d say there’s no debate on who’s sleeping where, right?” I say as Cody jumps up on the bed in the main room.

“Nope,” Papyrus says as I take a seat next to Cody, noting how disheartened Papyrus’ voice seems.

“Are you okay?” I ask him, immediately deciphering his expression to know it was a dumb question.

“Well… I knew none of this would be easy, but I didn’t think coming to the Surface would be this rough,” he admits.

“Flowey and the Whisperers didn’t help, either,” Sans says. “Which by the way, can you explain to us now what happened?”

I nod and explain it all, shoving down my building exhaustion to tell them what they deserve to know.

“So… Flowey was Prince Asriel but a SOULless version of him?” Papyrus asks.

“Yeah, who would’ve thought it was possible he could survive like that?” I say.

“I guess it’s just another one of those magic loopholes or something,” Sans says with a shrug. I get the sense he’s as tired as I am.

“At least we made it here, and we get a view!” Papyrus says, walking over to the window behind me that I turn to look at. It takes up most of the wall, giving us a grand view of the valley and the distant mountain that’s now a dark silhouette against an almost equally dark sky.

My throat tightens as I look out there, knowing the place where my house once was is within my line of sight. It makes me wonder… is the pear tree still there?

“I wish we could go sightseeing, but I’m guessing that won’t be possible for a while,” Papyrus says.

“I’m really sorry that the humans aren’t as welcoming as you were probably hoping. It’s going to take a lot of work and time to get to the point that most of them will accept you guys,” I say.

Sans shrugs, “It’s not like we were ever considered ‘normal’ to the monsters either. But we can worry about that stuff tomorrow. Right now, I need to know what kind of food they have here; I doubt it’s Grillby’s quality.”

“Unfortunately, we don’t even have money to pay for it. Gold coins are nothing but a rare currency up here; most money is ‘paper’ or transferred electronically through cards. That’s gonna be a challenge in and of itself to convert the monster currency rates to the Surface’s.”

Sans frowns, “Can we at least snoop around for something free?”

“I’ll take a look, but if I only find you-know-whats then you’ll just have to wait for the complimentary breakfast,” I say, taking a keycard from him.

“Come on, I don’t think we’re going to get attacked in the hotel,” Sans says as I head for the door.

I put a hand on the door handle and give him a pointed look. “I am not going to let either of you take any chances. Things are different up here, and we’re walking on  _ very  _ thin ice for the time being. I will admit that I have been on edge ever since I saw the sunlight, but please take my word for it when I say there is a chance you could get killed.”

The boys hesitantly nod even though I can tell they don’t like the idea of me going out on my own.

“I’ll be back in a couple minutes,” I say, opening the door and slipping out into the silent hall.

The elevator is only a few steps away to my left, and I push the “down” arrow when I reach it. Thankfully, there’s no one in the elevator and I step in, pressing the button for the lobby. When the doors open, my eyes widen at how abandoned the lobby is, and I look to my left to see papers hastily taped to the front doors.

“Oh, Miss Meadows, I have something for you!” the girl at the check-in counter says, her chipper voice making me jump.

“Me?” I ask, walking across the echoing lobby to the tall counter.

“Yes, this is from Mayor Evelynn Ross, she said she expects you to participate in tomorrow’s press conference at City Hall,” the girl, Erin, based on her nametag, says as she hands me a folder.

“Oh, of course. Thank you,” I say, holding the folder close, unsure what could be in it.

“I uh, I know it’s not really my business, but I gotta ask. Is there a whole civilization of monsters underground?” Erin says in a hushed voice.

“Honestly, I’m not really sure how much Mayor Ross would want me to reveal,” I say.

Erin immediately nods, “Oh yes, of course, sorry. I should just wait to find out like everybody else.”

“I just don’t want to say anything wrong,” I admit.

Erin nods, “I totally understand and I shouldn’t ask questions like that at work anyway. So uh, is there anything I can help you with?”

“Well,” I say, glancing back at the doors, “what’s on those papers taped to the doors?”

“Oh, well the mayor didn’t think it’d be a good idea if we accepted any more guests with the mon-... you know, being here.”

“But can we leave on our own?”

Erin frowns, “I don’t see why not, but could you let me know when you leave? I just don’t want Mayor Ross to show up and not know whether or not you’re here.”

I nod, “Sure, that seems reasonable.”

“Is there anything else?”

“Well… I hate to ask this, but are there any free snacks? We don’t have cash or money that would be accepted up here.”

“Oh sure, sure. We’re technically not supposed to give out much, but I mean, you guys don’t have anything,” Erin says, leaving the counter to walk into the sitting/dining area of the lobby. She grabs six water bottles and a variety of snacks from under the counter along the back wall. I spot trail mix, fruit snacks, peanut butter crackers, pretzels, and… granola bars.

I let her put the others on the counter, but as she reaches for the bars I stop her. “That’s a good amount, we’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? Do you want some granola bars? We have the ones with chocolate chips,” Erin says.

I don’t care if they are the best damn treats known to man and monsterkind, no one is  _ ever _ going to make me eat another granola bar for the rest of my life.

“No thank you,” is all I pleasantly say, fighting back a gag as I think of those disgusting things. In all honesty, it’s not that they  _ taste  _ bad... but eating practically nothing else for months while living in a literal  _ prison _ …

I allow a shudder to run through me as I hold Evelynn’s folder closer.

“Alright, there you go,” Erin says, handing me a tote bag filled with the various snacks. “Anything else?”

“Nope, thanks a lot,” I say, turning back towards the elevator.

As much as I wish I could answer Erin’s question as payment for her help, I really don’t know how much Evelynn wants revealed to the public.

It’s best that I stay as quiet as possible in the coming days. Even though I don’t want the responsibility of Ambassador, there’s no one else to do the job. Frisk is going through a rough enough time dealing with the deaths of the rest of her family. Taking on the responsibility is the least I can do to help her, to help everyone. But if there are situations in which my opinion is  _ not  _ needed, then I am going to do everything I can to stay out of it. After all, what I experienced down there is no one's right to know except for the people who experienced it with me. I'll tell the humans about basic life in the Underground, but they will never know the experiences that truly mattered.

I make it back to the room and spill the bag onto my bed, revealing the goodies for Cody to admire.

“I think we can survive for the next day on that,” I say, holding a pack of peanut butter crackers to my puppy’s nose.

“That’s a lot for only a day. I think we should give some to the others,” Papyrus says, scooping up a bit of each snack type.

“By all means,” I say, shoving two of each to the side for us.

“You mean you’re fine with him going out in the hallway?” Sans asks with a smirk.

My only response is an unamused expression as I toss a bag of trail mix at him.

“What even is this?” he asks, flipping the bag over to look at the ingredients as Papyrus gestures to the door. I wave him along and he checks the hallway before leaving the room, making sure to leave our door open just in case anything happens.

“I’ve never really had it, but it’s food so don’t complain,” I say, grabbing a bag of pretzels while keeping an eye on the hall.

“Do you realize it has granola in it?” Sans raises an eye socket.

“What?” I ask, grabbing the bag to see it’s basically bite-sized granola bars. I frown and toss it back to him. As far as I know, trail mix can practically be anything, but whatever this brand is decided the food is nothing  _ but  _ granola. “Whatever, you can eat it; he didn’t force you guys to live off them so you don’t have my stupid anxiety.”

Sans’ face pinches with bitterness, “I don’t like admitting this to you, but he actually gave us a decent variety of meals. There were only a couple of times when he forgot to feed us.”

“I’m not mad about that; I just hope you guys see why I can’t stand that stuff.”

“I know, which is why we’re not keeping these,” Sans says, grabbing the other bag and taking them out to Papyrus.

I sigh and Cody gives a little whine of impatience. “Yes, puppy, come here.”

I put him on the floor and open a pack of crackers, three of which he gobbles up by the time the boys are back in the room and the door is shut.

“Undyne said they’re already talking about it on TV; I guess the whole world knows now,” Sans says, picking up the remote next to the TV.

“-has been no other activity since then,” a news anchor says as I look up to see him standing just outside our hotel.

Damn it all.

***

We spend an hour flipping through channels to find that almost all of them are talking about the monsters in some way. At least there isn’t any  _ clear  _ footage of us entering the hotel, but then again, I’m sure it’s all over social media sites. Surprisingly, Papyrus is the one who turns the TV off, but I’m sure Sans got sick of hearing strangers speculate about us within the first five minutes.

I had completely forgotten about the folder from Evelynn, and I don’t remember it until I find it underneath the tote bag after the boys go in their room for the night. I tidy up my bed and place the remaining snacks and the bag on the nightstand to my right. Then I finally sit down to look in the folder, propping myself up with pillows as Cody rests his head on my lap.

There are only two items inside: a business card on the left and an envelope on the right. The business card speaks for itself, displaying Evelynn’s name, number, and the City Hall address. The envelope however, is from the hotel, but I’m guessing that’s only because Evelynn grabbed it to put whatever she only wanted me to see inside. I flip it over to the back to see it’s been sealed shut with about twelve pieces of tape; there must be some  _ really  _ important information inside, then.

I try to carefully peel the tape off, but I end up ripping the envelope by the second piece. It’s definitely a foolproof way to keep anyone from trying to get away with opening it. When I finally get it open, I see two twenty-dollar bills and a folded note that I carefully unfold to read.

_ Krista, _

_ I apologize for being so doubtful and suspicious of you; I understand that you have been through some terrible experiences, and it is callous of me to ignore them. However, I will admit that I cannot coddle you either, and I believe you understand the immense degrees of scrutiny and judgement that you and the monsters will face. Frisk does not seem to be in the most stable of mindsets at the moment, which is why I am counting on you to provide a human’s view of life among monsters. _

_ I’m sorry that this will not be easy, but know that you have my full support. I have a feeling you’re wondering why I am so willing to help, so here it is: I am an unyielding opposer to injustice, and I will not stand to allow it any longer. A thousand years is far too long, and despite the constant scoffs at the legends, reality is reality. I am sure both humans and monsters will search for reasons to fight once again, but we as leaders must not allow that. You know them better than anyone, which means you must remain as honest as possible when convincing the world to accept them. _

_ Tomorrow will be difficult, but remember that you will not be the only human voice defending them. Even though I am this city’s chief executive, the city council holds a great amount of influence; some members may be difficult to sway to our views. If I cannot convince enough of them, then this will be a far more formidable task than it already is. In the end, I can make the final decision, but I could be impeached and even removed from office if not enough people agree with me. _

_ Once again, I apologize that you are caught up in this, but your voice and experiences could be enough to convince this city. Perhaps I am rambling, I am sure you already know this. Here is the only cash I have available for now; use it for necessities in the coming days. Believe it or not, I am looking forward to the changes this city will face. _

_ Respectfully, _

_ A friend, if you’re inclined to see me as one. _

I look over the note numerous times, amazed that this is the same woman who was so willing to believe I was insane when we first met only a few hours ago. Evelynn seems genuine, though, and I hope she’ll make the coming days easier to deal with.

I fold up the note and place it back in the folder, tucking it under the tote bag before turning the lamp off. Cody gets up to let me slip under the covers and he lies down against my back when I curl up on my left side, facing the window. I didn’t want to shut the curtains. Even though I can’t see much, the sight of that distant mountain is enough to remind me of where I am and what I’ll soon need to do. It’s going to be  _ so much  _ work, but for now, at least I can escape into sleep. Cody does it within a minute, but as much as I want to, I can’t. 

An hour passes… then two, then three and I look at the nightstand clock to see 11:41. Damn it, I have to be alert tomorrow; my nap wasn’t  _ that  _ refreshing, so why the hell am I still awake?

I roll back to look out the window for the eighth time, having annoyed Cody enough by the third time that he now peacefully sleeps on the far right corner of the mattress. What is keeping me up?

The thought finally hits me as I stare at that distant mountain, at the valley only yards away. I have to see it; I have to  _ know _ .

I silently slip out from under the covers and grab my coat before shoving on my boots. Cody doesn’t stir as I walk around him and grab a keycard off the nightstand, slipping it in my jeans’ front pocket. The door makes a slight popping sound as I open it, but it’s not enough to wake Cody as I silently step out into the hall and shut it.

He’ll definitely be mad if he wakes up and I’m not there, which means I’ll have to be fairly quick. Good thing it’s late enough that I doubt I’ll run into anyone on my way out. I reach the lobby and Erin gives me a wave from the counter. I wave back and walk out of the hotel as if I’m merely leaving my house.

The night air is much cooler than earlier, like the area near where Snowdin and Waterfall meet. The streets are empty and fairly quiet, making me wonder if people were forced by the authorities to stay away from the hotel. 

I take a left and walk around to the back of the building, following the sidewalk into the remaining city streets. I only pass a handful of shops until I reach the grasses of the valley. My eyes shift towards the right, and my feet know where to go before I even think of it. The trek is as familiar as ever, quiet and only a mild inconvenience as the ground makes a slight incline. The night air is so cool and sweet as a faint wind carries over the valley, making me close my eyes to savor it. I’ve missed more than I thought, and a warmth sparks in my heart as I remember this is what  _ home  _ feels like.

My eyes drift up to the stars and I spot the Big Dipper, my throat tightening as tears threaten to well up. There’s no moon and I assume it’s in the new phase, but I don’t mind, this is enough. Enough to actually distract me from remembering what I’m about to see as I reach the clearing where my house is supposed to be.

The emptiness makes me stop dead in my tracks as I stare at the wide space, reality finally punching me in the stomach. It’s as if it never existed. There is nothing. Where my  _ home  _ should be, there is nothing but grass that innocently sways in the wind.

I feel numb. I feel sick. I feel… empty.

My feet move without my permission as I walk to where it once was, stopping at the exact spot where my room used to be. I stare at the city, knowing this is right where my window was. This is the only place I ever knew… it’s the only place  _ Mable  _ ever knew.

Mable… my sweet, innocent, beautiful little sister…

I dig my teeth into my lip and look to my left, and the tears finally fall as I see the pear tree…  _ my  _ pear tree… is still standing. I leave the spot where my house once was and walk the distance to the tree, remembering how it felt like miles the night my back was whipped to a bloody pulp.

I feel so much older now, taller, stronger, a survivor of the hell I was thrown into and eventually fought my way out of. But the tree is still the same, still beautiful and immovable, the only constant in this world of change.

I stop in front of it and walk to its right so I face the distant mountain, the exact spot where I accepted Mable’s punishment. I will never regret it for as long as I live, and I would do it all over again for the family I’ve found.

I reach out and stroke the worn bark, letting the tears slide down my cheeks as I look up at the bent branches, remembering a time when I used to climb them. In the faint light from the city, I can see the white flowers already in bloom, and my heart aches when I remember the excitement Mable and I always had to see them. They gave us hope in a life where it barely existed.

“This is the tree?” a gentle voice whispers and I turn to see Sans, his face scrunched with a pained expression.

“What else would it be, stalker?” I say, hating how much my voice shakes.

He shrugs as he walks up next to me and places his right hand on the tree, the metal plate faintly shining in the dim light.

“So… your house,” he whispers and I realize what he’s trying to gauge.

I point to my left, “A few yards over there, but it felt like miles that night.”

His eyes lower to the ground, as if he can see my blood soaking into the cool earth. “I wish I could take it all away,” he whispers.

“I know,” I shrug, “but we accept it and move on. There’s nothing else we can do.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t take the time to grieve,” he argues.

My throat tightens as I think of Mable again. “I didn’t…  _ really  _ take that time. I kept shoving that pain aside until I had a breakdown, but then I forced myself forward.”

“You also didn’t have a life to go back to, to make things seem normal again.”

I nod, “But now… now that I’m back here-”

A sob cuts me off and I press my hands against my face, realizing just how much I’m shaking as I drop to the ground and lean against the tree. Sans immediately wraps his arms around me as I bury my face in my hands, hating myself for not working this out while I was alone.

But maybe… maybe this isn’t so bad. I will have to be strong tomorrow, but tonight, I can allow myself to feel that weakness. I can allow the pain of coming home to tear me down before I force myself to stand back up. Seeing my home again brings back all the agony I shoved away in the lab, and now… I can finally allow myself to face the harsh reality of the Surface world without my sister, without my father. But at least… I didn’t come back alone.


	8. You Were Never Ready

Krista didn’t cry for long, it was only a few minutes until she forced the tears back and said it wouldn’t be hard to sleep after what a rough day it had been. Sans had a feeling she was doing it more for his sake than her own, even though he didn’t mind sitting with her under that pear tree. He would have been content to sit there all night if it meant she would finally be at peace with what happened over a year ago. But he knew her, and there was still so much doubt and sadness and anger that she kept locked up about it.

When he shortcutted them back into the hotel room, she merely threw off her coat and boots, washed her face and collapsed into bed. He wasn’t sure how long it took her to fall asleep, as he tried to sleep himself and went back into the main room after an hour. At some point before then, Krista had thrown off her long-sleeve shirt, too, most likely to keep it from getting too wrinkled for tomorrow’s conference. 

Sans supposed it was because she had more room to sleep than normal was why she was sleeping on her stomach, something she never did at home. Even though the covers covered most of her back, he could still see those scars curling over her shoulders, pressed closer against her skin by the straps of her cami. And her right arm… she rested it above her head on the pillow, a full display of her Death Vow to the world. He hated looking at it, hated the reminder of it, but he had a feeling she hated seeing the plate on his hand just as much.

The thought made him shortcut out into the hallway as he shoved his hands in his pockets, refusing to recite in his head how much damage the scientist did to all of them for the millionth time.

He realized the luck of his habit within seconds as he spotted Undyne walking down the hallway away from him, pacing like a caged animal.

“Getting claustrophobic?” he asked casually, inching away from his family’s room on the off chance that they could hear him.

The captain stopped in her tracks, her shoulders rigid and tense. “Why are you up so late?”

Sans shrugged even though she couldn’t see him. “It’s hard to sleep in a new environment. Why are _you_ up?”

Her hands clenched into fists. “It’s been a pretty eventful day, and I’m… still processing it.”

“Yeah, but there’s-”

“I need to talk to her,” Undyne snapped, finally turning to face him and walking the rest of the way down the hall. She leaned against the wall across from Sans and stared him down, her eye gleaming with frustration.

“She’s sleeping,” is all he said.

Undyne crossed her arms. “Fine then, you tell me.”

“What?”

She scoffed, “ _Everything_ , like when the hell did she meet those other Magic Whisperers? Why don’t you guys trust me? God, I mean, even _Papyrus_ , I never would have expected him to keep so many secrets from me.”

“Look, there are a lot of things we haven’t told anyone, and we’d like to keep it that way.”

“Why?” the captain demanded.

Sans smirked, “Don’t tell me _you_ don’t have secrets you’re keeping to yourself.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Nothing. Just accept that my family is this way because we’re never going to tell you everything.”

“I bet you even keep secrets among yourselves, don’t you?” Undyne sneered, her eye narrowing.

Even though she didn’t know it, her comment struck a nerve in Sans… because it was true. He still hadn’t told Krista about his meeting with Lissaria and her confirmation that Frisk would Reset at some point. It made the present feel redundant, pointless since they were technically just waiting to be thrown back in time and have the progress between humans and monsters thrown away. He could tell Krista was already stressing out over the coming days, and if they were for nothing…

Sans wasn’t any better with Papyrus, as much as he loved and trusted his brother… he didn’t want to cause any more heartache than what already existed. Papyrus was smart enough to know when things were bothering Sans, but he often didn’t pry only because he knew Sans would brush it away. 

“We tell each other more than anyone else, so as far as you’re concerned, we know what the other is going through long before the rest of the world does,” Sans said.

Undyne’s jaw clenched as her nails dug into her arms. “Fine then, keep your secrets, but they better not be as threatening as Magic Whisperers or important as Krista’s heritage.”

“Why does that matter?” Sans asked defensively.

The captain scoffed, “Our girl is a product of both the people who hated monsters and those who fought for them. If you ask me, that’s pretty freaking important to know.”

“Krista would have never known herself if it wasn’t for Jex. I don’t see why that really matters.”

“Maybe the fact that creatures that powerful see and respect her as a _queen_. I’d say that could make them useful in case any… conflicts were to happen.”

Sans squinted at the implication, “You can’t be serious.”

Undyne shrugged, “You saw how those humans reacted; I get the feeling that no one is going to like us for a very long time.”

“That doesn’t necessarily mean there is going to be violence, and besides, the Whisperers do what they want. They like _pretending_ to obey Krista because they know how much her heritage gets under her skin. They won’t do anything they don’t want to do; they listen to nobody.”

“Still… I get the sense that they would listen to Krista, even if that red one has a Death Vow link to her. By the way, how _did_ she get the Vow?”

Sans squinted in anger. Undyne, as much of a friend as she was to Krista, did not deserve to know all of that. If his sister wanted to tell her, then fine, but it wasn’t going to come from him. “So when are we going to get paid?” 

The captain smirked, “Nice change of subject, I guess I’ll just have to wake her up to know.”

“ _No_ ,” Sans snapped, stepping in front of the door.

“Why not? I think I deserve some damn answers, and if you won’t give them to me, then I’ll go to the source.”

“You have no idea what coming back here is doing to her,” he hissed.

Undyne rolled her eye, “What? This was her _home_. If anything, I’d think she’d be as fine as ever.”

“Do you realize what she lost before she entered the Underground? Can you even comprehend how much her life has changed in the past year? _If anything_ , I’d say it’s amazing she’s willing to help monsters so much. She’s willing to push aside her pain to help make a better future for _us_.”

Undyne frowned and looked at a spot on the door above Sans’ head. “Fine, I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

Then she turned and went back into her room, leaving Sans in the silent hall. He rolled his eyes in frustration at her and shortcutted back into the room he shared with Papyrus, realizing all his thinking about tomorrow exhausted him. It was only three hours away, best to ignore it for as long as possible.

***

Someone gently shakes my shoulders, and my eyes peek open to see the sun’s rays just beginning to stretch over the valley. That’s right, I’m not underground anymore. That isn’t light from Ceiling Stars, and I have a different job to do today.

“You’re up with the sun,” I say, forcing myself up. Why was I sleeping on my stomach? I never do that. It reminds me too much of those months I spent recovering as my body tried to figure out how to heal itself as painlessly as possible. It succeeded in most ways, but the strain in my shoulders is enough to remind me that the damage was permanent.

“It’s hard not to be when it’s so bright,” Sans says as I crawl off the bed and walk up to the window.

“You’ll get used to it,” is all I say, absentmindedly rubbing my right shoulder and picking up the sound of the shower running.

“You… think this is permanent?” he cautiously asks, appearing in my peripheral vision.

“I would like to, but…” I rub my eyes, remembering all the horrors that still remain. “I’m not certain about Frisk, she seems to be taking her family’s death really hard. She could get scared and Reset, but she might not, especially if we talk to her. Then again, we have no way of telling if Chara and the Void are gone like Xanvalus suggested. Why do you ask?”

“I kind of… visited Lissaria when you had your nap yesterday,” he says cautiously.

He might as well have choked me. _“What?”_

“She didn’t do anything, but she did reveal some information,” he says, clearly uncomfortable with the look I give him.

“Was _that_ your plan? To go behind my back and risk your life to talk to her?”

“Do you really think you can get mad at me after all you’ve done?” he asks.

“But do you realize-”

“Do _you_ realize that we are all going to die at some point?” he finally snaps.

His question eliminates my anger. “What makes you think that?”

“Lissaria can see hints of the future, like me. She knows for certain that Frisk will Reset, so whatever we go through in the coming days won’t even matter.”

“You don’t think we can change Frisk’s mind?”

Sans scoffs, “Sure, she seems like a nice kid, but she’s a _Determination human_. You don’t think a kid that’s been through so much loss might want to take control?”

“Then who’s to say I’m not a threat, too?” I snap.

He sighs, “You’re different, Krista.”

“ _Am I?_ Do you really think I’m less dangerous than she is? Sure, I can’t control time, but I can hurt people. I can be the monster that every human out there wants to fear, and yet, you’ve still given me chances. You’ve still seen past the ugly mess of sins that define me. So why should we give up on Frisk just because of _Lissaria_?”

“I get it,” he murmurs. “I want to believe she’ll do the right thing, too. But in all honesty, I’m not as sure about her as I am of you.”

“Says the guy who practically hated me for nearly a month.”

“ **_Hey_ **,” he says in a dark tone, pointing a shaky finger at me. “Don’t… don’t twist that knife.”

He looks away and rakes his hands across his face, sending a stab of guilt through me. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t attack you like that. You see what I do? I’m _too_ good at hurting people. Maybe I had too much practice in the lab.”

“You did it to survive,” he says, still facing away from me.

I look out the window, wondering if the surviving was worth it. “Words have always been my first line of defense, but I think they bring out a side of me that’s a little too vicious for the real Krista to handle.”

Sans chuckles, “I will admit, I both admire and hate that side of you, but it’s still _you_ nonetheless.”

“There was a time when it wasn’t,” I say, searching for my pear tree in the valley.

He sighs, finally facing me again. “And there was a time when I could see with both eyes, but here we are.”

I feel another slash of guilt as a chill runs through me, and I rub my right arm. I’m not ready for today.

“Here,” Sans says, reappearing in my line of vision before I even realize he left it. He hands me my long-sleeve shirt and coat. “We gotta get going soon, Queen Ambassador.”

“I didn’t realize how much I did _not_ need to hear those titles together until you said it,” I frown, throwing my shirt over my head.

He chuckles, “I’m merely reminding you of what you are to everyone now.”

“I’d rather you refer to me as an egocentric robot’s co-star.”

“Eh, it doesn’t have the same kind of ring to it.”

I sigh and rub my eyes again, effectively shutting down the endearing banter.

I’m not ready to walk out that door yet, to shove aside the security and honesty I have with my brother in exchange for a facade of strength and selective truth. I know I need to do this, but that doesn’t mean I have to _want_ to do it.

“We’ve survived worse,” Sans says, trying to encourage me.

“You mean I’ve failed with worse consequences?”

“Twist it however you want, but you know what I mean.”

I nod and take a deep breath as I hear doors opening in the hallway. This is for the world we want, and work has to be done to get there.

***

By whatever resources or fortune Evelynn has, there are three black SUVs parked outside the hotel when we leave a half hour later. I’m able to take Cody out into the valley for a few minutes to let him enjoy the free air, but he has to stay in the hotel until we get back despite how much I wish he could come along.

Evelynn takes the lead SUV with Asgore and Undyne, Toriel and Frisk take the middle one, and I purposely climb in the last one. The boys follow and I realize this is the first time they’ve ever been in a car. Papyrus seems pretty amazed by it, but I can’t judge Sans as he mainly keeps an eye on the driver. Even though I’m guessing the guy was hand-picked by Evelynn, I’m wary of him, too.

It only takes a few minutes to get to City Hall, thankfully a short enough time that we’re all able to stay quiet. But I can’t help my gasp when I see just how many people are gathered around the building’s entrance.

I dig my nails into my palms in apprehension, but I immediately relax my hand when someone dressed similar to our driver opens the door.

_I am not ready._

I step out of the car and into the mildly chill air radiating with energy, my senses immediately on alert at how many eyes are watching us.

Evelynn leads the group into the building, waving away questioning reporters as if they’re gnats, and I follow without question, ignoring the people around me.

Inside, Evelynn leads us down the hallway to the left and into a grand room with a stage directly in front of us. A black curtain hides most of it, leaving a seemingly small amount of room for the single podium in the center of the stage.

A few people are already in the room, setting up the lighting and audio, I assume.

“Since this is only day one, I want to make this brief,” Evelynn announces, walking up the stairs on the left side of the stage. “I will begin with an introduction and then I would like King Asgore to say what he wishes to say. Toriel will be next, followed by Frisk and Krista, and then I will close. Does that sound like a reasonable schedule?”

“Um… I would rather not speak,” Frisk says shyly.

Evelynn immediately nods, “That’s fine, dear. Anyone else?”

As much as I _wish_ I could back out, I keep my mouth shut. 

“Then it’s decided, the conference will begin in forty-five minutes,” Evelynn announces. “I recommend that you all wait backstage until it is time for you to speak.”

Then she walks to the other side of the stage and down the right steps to exit the room into whatever hallway the far door leads to.

“Is something wrong, dear? You seemed eager to speak last night,” Toriel says to Frisk.

“I don’t know what I’d say, Mom,” Frisk nearly whispers, and my throat dries at her last word. _Mom._

“I’m sure you’d be alright, my child,” she says to the girl.

I can’t take it anymore. I head to the stage and walk up the steps, looking out at the room and imagining it filled with reporters. The idea makes my heart skip a beat, and I shove the curtains out of my way to hide backstage.

I’m not ready.

“ _Hey_ ,” Undyne snips and I look to my left to see her walk around the curtain. “We need to talk.”

“I don’t want to,” I snap back, walking to the other side of the stage and into the hallway beyond.

“Too bad, now explain yourself,” Undyne growls, easily catching up with me and grabbing my left arm.

“I don’t have to tell you anything; you already know the truth,” I hiss, pulling my arm out of her grasp.

“Really? Then how did you get that Death Vow?”

“I made a stupid mistake and it’s my price to pay, so why are you so upset about it?”

Her hands clench into fists. “Because I care about you and it bothers me that you’ve kept so many secrets.”

“It shouldn’t be a surprise. You would have never learned about my scars if I could have helped it.”

“I thought we were at a point that we could trust each other, but I guess not,” the captain snarls.

I sigh, “Look, Undyne, you’re a great friend, but I’m a very secretive person. I don’t tell people about my problems because I don’t want to be a burden.”

“And you don’t think I can handle it?”

“It’s not that. It’s because I knew my _sister_ couldn’t handle it,” I say, immediately hating that this could be considered an attempt to guilt-trip Undyne, but it’s not, it’s just the truth. “I always had to be the strong adult. I had to be brave because if I wasn’t, then we’d be defenseless. And now it’s a habit I can’t break because I always need to be composed. I _always_ need to be strong. And if you knew I had a vulnerability like a Death Vow, then all you would do is worry or try to kill the Whisperer with the claim on my life. It’s not worth telling because it’s a problem we can’t fix.”

She frowns, “I still think you should have told me… but I guess you make sense. But _seriously_ , can you please just trust me a little more? Even if it’s something you know I won’t like… I want to at least be there for you, to know that you’re hurting even if I can’t do anything about it.”

“Fine… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

She shrugs, “I guess I’ll get over it… eventually.”

Then she ruffles my hair and I smack her hand away. “Hey, I’m going on stage later.”

“Oh, you’re fine. Your hair has certainly looked worse in public.”

“Yeah, but we’re talking about the entire country seeing this,” I argue, smoothing my hair down. “I feel bad enough already that I don’t look presentable.”

Undyne rolls her eye, “You’ll be fine. They’ll care more about what you’re saying than what you look like.”

“That’s unnerving enough.”

She’s quiet for a moment, “Do you even know what you’re going to say?”

I sigh, “I don’t know. I guess I’ll just be… honest. Hopefully that’s enough.”

“I’m sure it will. Who couldn’t help but love you?” she teases, throwing her arm around my shoulders and leading me back to the stage.

“A lot of people,” I respond, realizing that there’s already a gathering crowd in the room on the other side of the curtain.

“Eh, screw them; we only need the reasonable ones to listen.”

***

The time passes in the blink of an eye, and Evelynn’s introduction begins before I know it. We watch from the backstage side wings, hidden in the shadows of the grand curtain. The boys stand next to me on the left side while the others are on the right, Asgore in front to wait for his cue.

Evelynn steps up to the podium like the poised, professional politician she is, not even needing notes to know what to say.

“The human race was struck with shocking information last night. It is information that we have known all along but have always believed was mere fantasy: monsters are real.”

Silence fills the room, and I assume everyone already knows this. Evelynn is just allowing that heavy reality to sink in.

“The question then becomes: what do we do? The irrational and perhaps selfish response would be to lock them back up, keep them underground so we do not have to deal with them. We as a people have enough problems already, don’t we? But I believe we are better than that. I believe we can put aside the conflict our ancestors had with them and strive for a future of peace between our two races.”

A few muffled scoffs simmer throughout the room, and the faintest shadow of a frown grazes Evelynn’s composed expression. I get the sense that she expected the scoffs, but they’re still insulting enough to hear that even she can’t remain entirely stone-faced.

“I can already hear your complaints. ‘What about resources? What about overpopulation? Could they bring disease? Are they violent? This will never work. I do not feel safe.’ Some of those are valid questions and concerns, but immediate doubt is not a positive mindset. We are better than our ancestors from one hundred years ago; I think we can also be better than our ancestors from one thousand years ago.

“I will ease your immediate concerns with this: the monsters have survived by their own advancements in technology, which in turn means they have knowledge to share that can resolve conflicts before they even arise. They have alternative methods to renewable energy and have reliable methods of food production. I know there are thousands more factors to consider and worry about, but for now, let us come to terms with this new reality. It is one that will definitely feel strange at first, but eventually, it will become normal life. With that, I would like to introduce the leader of the monster race, King Asgore Dreemurr.”

Evelynn holds her arm out in Asgore’s direction and he walks onto the stage, ever the image of a king. The room remains silent as Evelynn steps away from the podium but remains onstage. Asgore reaches the podium and looks out as if he’s envisioned this day in his mind too many times. I’m guessing he has his words memorized, too.

“Good morning everyone, I understand how frightening and shocking this news may be. I know that it will take time for all of you to accept it, but know that my people and I are willing to do what it takes to form a world of unity between our races. We do not desire violence; we do not hold a grudge against humans. We merely wish to live in the sunlight as you do, and perhaps, we can help to improve this world alongside you.”

I hear the scoffs again, but the people in the front row seem to look at him with awe and… hope. That’s all I need to believe there is the faintest possibility that everything will turn out alright.

“I do not expect this to be easy. I do not expect all humans to willingly work with us. However, I do hope you will all see that we share the same emotions and wishes that you do. Above all, I hope that even though you may not like us, you will at least respect us as equals. I have witnessed the destructive violence that both humans and monsters are capable of, and I do not wish for another war to keep us divided. In the coming months, I plan to work tirelessly to ensure that both humans and monsters can adjust to this new world. However, I as a leader cannot do it alone. This transition will take the efforts of every citizen to ensure a world of peace. The most I can ask is that you agree with that mindset; the choice is yours. Thank you.”

Silence, absolute, _dead_ silence as he leaves the stage and Evelynn introduces Toriel. The once-queen says similar words, but they cater towards a more emotional mindset. She talks about how it is a world she always wanted for her child and how it is a world she hopes the human children will be glad to grow up in. I can’t really hear her as my heart starts racing and my stomach tightens when I remember I’m next. What do I say? How can _I_ convince them?

My fingers fidget with the bracelet of peridot, pear-shaped gemstones around my right wrist, my subconscious searching for some kind of distraction. But of course, it doesn’t work and my hand drifts up to my locket, the most important reminder of those I love. It makes me remember everyone I’m doing this for and everything I value in life. _You know what to say._

Toriel walks off the stage and Evelynn steps up to the podium. “And now I would like to introduce our final speaker, Krista Meadows. You may remember hearing reports of her disappearance after a tragic accident last January, and it turns out she has been living among the monsters since then. Now, she is the official Ambassador of the Monsters.”

My palms start to sweat and I press them against my jeans, glad that I took my coat off and handed it to Sans earlier. Even though I’ve performed in front of the whole Underground, this is entirely different. Instead of having fun and knowing the people love me, this feels like an interrogation that I need to rationalize my way out of. The worst part: I have to _talk_. 

_Breathe, breathe, breathe._

Evelynn holds her arm out in my direction, and I feel each of the boys rub my shoulders.

“You can do it,” Sans whispers and I force myself to walk forward, holding my head high.

**_I. Am. Not. Ready._ **

The lights are _so_ bright, and I feel their heat hit me the second I step out of the shadows. My blood roars in my ears as I walk up to the podium, realizing I’m _just_ tall enough that the room can see my face above the microphone. If I was any shorter, I’d need a stepstool. It doesn’t help that the room remains silent, watching, waiting…

There are too many people to count; a large mixture of cameras and phones are held up, each of them undoubtedly recording me. I can’t make out their faces with the lights shining down on me, but the _presence_ of so many people is enough to make me uneasy.

I rest my hands on the podium and dig my right thumb into my left palm, ensuring that I stay in the present, that I don’t say anything wrong. 

“Like most children in Ebott City, I grew up hearing the legends of the monsters before bedtime. I saw them as nothing more than fairytales of magic and wizards that couldn’t possibly be true. As I got older, I forgot about them and accepted the reality around me, never wondering if those stories existed for a reason.”

Lies and truths, that’s what they are. I grew up with the stories, but I believed them until after Mom died. I never forgot the stories, especially whenever I looked at that mountain and wondered if Mom wanted me to discover its secrets on my own.

“Last January, my house collapsed while I was at work, killing my father and my little sister. I had a difficult time processing that truth, and I took a long walk into the valley, getting lost in grief and thoughts of what if. Eventually, I stumbled upon a small cave, a cave that I didn’t realize at the time led into the Underground. A magical Barrier was the force keeping the monsters underground, and once a human enters, they can never return to the Surface unless the Barrier is destroyed.”

_Lies and truths. Lies and truths. Keep it together. Breathe._

“It was quite a shock to comprehend, learning the legends were true and finding a way to live with beings that look so different from what I’ve always been used to. But I found a way to accept it, and I was able to form friendships with many of the monsters. They are as ‘human’ as we are, and the only difference is how they look. Now, calling them monsters seems wrong to me, but it’s because we as humans have twisted that word over time.”

I think I hear some scoffs in the dark room. Did I sound too judgmental? 

“I know some of you might not agree with me. You probably see a dumb kid who is not considering all the possible problems that you see. I’m sure many of you are rolling your eyes at me and coming up with reasons to ignore my words. That’s fine, but this is the reality humanity must face. I ask that you give the monsters a chance, and maybe you will see the great people that I have come to care about. Thank you.”

I turn away from the podium and walk back into the shadows, _very_ aware of the silence that hangs in the room. I don’t hear what Evelynn says, but the room suddenly erupts into chaos as countless people begin clamoring with questions. But I don’t stop until I walk behind the curtain and press my palms against my temples, unsure of what I actually _said_.

Lies and truths, that’s what I remember. Enough truths that everyone agrees with, enough lies to keep my secrets and deter possible questions. But did I say everything right? Do they believe me? Or do they think I’ve been forced into this by the monsters? What if they just think I’m a victim blinded by grief and desperation that the monsters manipulated me into caring about them?

The truth _does_ make more sense, but it’s more unbelievable than the tale I’ve spun. There’s too much that both sides wouldn’t believe, and I can already bet Asgore and Undyne have picked apart my words to form questions of their own.

“Hey, look at me,” Sans says and I don’t realize he’s been gripping my left arm until a little pulse of pain makes me drop both my hands from my head. “You did great. You didn’t say anything wrong. You’re okay.”

“What makes you so sure?” I ask, feeling fairly close to a panic attack until I see the others enter my peripheral vision. It makes me snap into a sense of immediate calm, and I realize the distinct line I have between them and my brothers.

My brothers are the only ones who know the _real_ me, my real story. It makes me unashamed to let them see my distress, to see the sheer terror and self-hatred that constantly paralyzes and shreds me to pieces. But with the others… they don’t know that dark lab. They don’t know the degrees of mental and physical torture that only my brothers can understand. My weaknesses have always made me feel vulnerable, easy for others to wrap their fingers around my throat and stab me in the heart. Even though they’re my allies, my friends, I can’t allow them to see just how helpless I am, how insignificantly small and fragile both my body and psyche are. Once they realize that, they’ll reconsider giving Frisk the title of Ambassador.

“Did I say too much?” I ask the king in a surprisingly steady voice.

He shakes his head, “No, I think you will be a wonderful Ambassador, although I did detect some _slight_ lies in there.”

“Do you really think you want them to know I could have left the Underground if I took a monster’s SOUL? Do you want them to know that humans are stronger physically? I think we can get away with little tweaks of the truth as long as it means they’ll respect monsters.”

“I appreciate that, but… I thought you entered the Underground in May, not January.”

Damn it. Of course, I forgot about that lie.

“Krista… I know there is a lot we’re dealing with right now, but it has become very apparent to me that you are keeping many secrets. I just want you to be honest,” Asgore says kindly.

“She lost her memories of that time like we did,” Papyrus suddenly says, surprising me with the smooth lie. I would expect something like that from Sans, but not _Papyrus_.

“Really?” Asgore asks.

My brother nods, “She didn’t want to admit it because she doesn’t know how it happened. It was probably the Barrier since it affected humans.”

“Well… I remember how lost you seemed; that’s not something you had to be afraid to share,” Asgore says to me.

I shrug, “I still feel bad about it.”

Toriel is about to say something when Evelynn walks backstage from the side of the curtain the others stood at.

“I would call that a successful introduction considering how terrible the situation _could_ have gone. Unfortunately, I just received a call from one of the city council members and they wish to speak with Asgore and Toriel. Do you two mind staying here for the next few hours? When one member gets involved, they all tend to join in to share their opinions.”

“Not at all,” Asgore says and Toriel shakes her head.

“Alright, then I will arrange for the rest of you to travel back to the hotel. If you wish to speak with your fellow monsters in the Underground, by all means, meet with them. If you have any questions or concerns, Krista has my number. Alright?”

We all give our various forms of understanding, and Evelynn waves us along, leading us out into the backstage hallway.

“Take a right at the end of the hall, and wait a few minutes, the cars should show up by then,” Evelynn says, pulling out her phone and typing something. “I will have the hotel’s front desk inform you if you are needed, but I believe the five of you will be fine for the rest of the day.”

We nod our thanks and head to the end of the hall while Evelynn, Asgore, and Toriel travel in the opposite direction. She was right that the wait would be short, as the cars show up in two minutes. Undyne and Frisk take the first, the boys and I take the other.

It makes me realize that Sans, Papyrus, and Undyne didn’t actually need to be here today since they didn’t speak. Why did Evelynn let them come? Was she hoping they’d speak? Or did she somehow understand how much _I_ needed them to be here? If so, she’s even more intuitive than I thought.

When we reach the hotel, the street is eerily quiet, but I assume that’s because most of the city’s population is still gathered near City Hall. Inside, there’s a girl that looks no older than nineteen and a guy that’s probably in his late twenties at the check-in counter. They both look up from a computer and offer tight smiles, clearly uncomfortable with the sight of us.

I roll my eyes once the elevator doors shut and Undyne ruffles my hair.

“You did good, although it would have been nice to get a shout-out,” she smirks.

“It’s better than anything I could have said,” Frisk mutters.

“Frisk, are you feeling okay? Do you need someone to talk to?” Papyrus asks her.

The girl shakes her head. “No, no, I’ll be fine.”

The rest of us share a collective expression of concern and confusion, but only Undyne is able to say anything to change the subject.

“Well, we need to get back to the Underground at some point today. We need to tell everyone what’s going on, and I need _at least_ a second set of clothes. I say it’s better to do it now while most of the humans are distracted.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Sans asks, about to hit the lobby button when the doors open and Frisk steps out.

“You guys go ahead; I’m just gonna wait in my room,” she says softly. “Have fun.”

Then she walks away and the doors close, forcing me to hit the lobby button.

“I know she just learned about her family… but I feel like she’s a completely different person today,” Undyne says.

“Give her some time, I’m sure she’ll get better,” Papyrus says.

“We can only hope,” Sans says, a tinge of genuine hope hidden under his casual tone.

***

It’s a trek to get back to the Underground, but we make it after what feels like forty-five minutes. Undyne immediately meets up with Alphys and goes over what to tell everyone, noting the key points of our current situation. Several monsters are gathered just outside the Barrier room, but they all seem to be patiently waiting. Thankfully, they respect the Royal Scientist despite her shy demeanor. Once we’re clear from the crowd, Sans shortcuts us into our house and we get to work.

It’s not as if we’re moving out, but we do need some essentials unless we want to make trips like these every day. I go straight up to the attic and grab my empty duffel bag, dropping it in the center of the main room and reminding the boys to grab only the _light_ essentials.

“I’ll critique you when I get back; I need a shower,” I say, throwing off my coat and boots before running upstairs.

As much as I wish I could go back to bed once I dry myself off and wring the excess water out of my hair, I instead put on a clean outfit that looks the same aside from my dark blue shirt with pink flowers. Then I grab the essentials: soaps, brushes, toothpaste, extra clothes, and my sneakers since my boots are a little too much for springtime. I’m not sure how long this is going to take, but I have enough to last me a week.

I’m about to leave the room when something on my dresser catches my eye: the light green gem I took from a Waterfall cave on my birthday. I always joked it would just be a paperweight, but maybe I could sell it on the Surface to get some extra cash? I grab it and wrap it in a sweatshirt.

Back downstairs, I see that the boys did a good job at packing light, only bringing extra clothes and some food that will go bad if we leave it for a week.

“I’m proud, you boys know how to be efficient,” I say, tucking my items in their own corner. Surprisingly, there’s still a decent amount of room for more, and I grab a couple sandwich bags filled with Cody’s food. That should be everything, right?

“I guess so,” Sans says, distracted.

I look at the source of his distraction to see Undyne on the TV, making an announcement to the Underground. It’s basically a summary of everything that has happened so far, and her professionalism makes me wonder why she didn’t volunteer to speak this morning.

“Is there anything else we need to do while we’re here?” I ask.

“Not unless you’re going to look for trouble,” Sans says, turning the TV off.

“I’m not,” I say, confused.

“Really?” he raises an eye socket.

“Are you meaning _her_?” I ask, not daring to say the name in the Underground now that I’m unsure if she’s still around.

“Who else would it be?”

“I’m not stupid or that desperate. If she really wanted to make herself known, I think she would have done it by now.”

“Or she wants you to be paranoid.”

“Either way, I am _not_ going to look for her, and if neither of you need anything else, then I guess we can head back,” I say, zipping up my duffel bag and slinging it over my left shoulder.

“I’m ready,” Papyrus says, brushing away our mention of Chara. As always, he’s the calming water to Sans’ and my bickering.

“Alright,” Sans says, shortcutting us to the Surface, just outside the entrance to the Underground. “Undyne can take care of herself; she doesn’t need us.”

“Are you okay doing those big jumps?” Papyrus asks, picking up on something that I never noticed.

“I’m fine,” Sans shrugs.

“Even so, we’re walking the rest of the way.”

“But it’s so _far_ ,” Sans whines, beginning to trudge along with us down the hill.

“Do you really think you can do another long distance shortcut?” Papyrus hisses, suddenly taking the role of the oldest sibling. It’s a role we seem to trade around on a case-by-case basis. I normally hold it when it comes to daily life, Sans takes it when I’m distressed, and Papyrus takes it either when both of us are in pain or Sans is.

Sans sighs, “Probably not, I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Why did you follow me, then?” I ask, more sarcastically than serious, as if he should have known I left to cry alone and comforting me wouldn’t be worth the time he could have been sleeping.

“Okay, one, I did it because I love you, and you deserve to have someone help you through that. Two, Undyne was trying to break into the room to talk to you, and I had to get her to stand down,” he says, using a sincere tone instead of a frustrated one like I expect.

I should be grateful that he kept Undyne back, but instead, I feel a little guilty.

“Did you go to where your house was?” Papyrus asks me.

I nod, “I wanted to see it… there’s nothing left except my pear tree. But at least that’s still there.”

“I guess I sleep too soundly since you guys are always getting up and moving around,” Papyrus says, seeming guilty that nighttime doesn’t disturb him as much as it does for us.

“At least one of us gets a good night’s sleep; I might have to buy some from you,” Sans says with a smirk, the joke making Papyrus frown at the implications.

“I think the moon should show up soon, that’ll be cool for you guys to see,” I say, moving the conversation away from reaching the topic of nightmares.

“The moon?” Papyrus asks.

“Yeah, sorry I’ve been so bad at explaining basic Surface stuff.”

I explain the moon phases before finding myself explaining the solar system and the sun’s key role in it. It’s enough to clear up our moods and transition us back to a sense of normalcy. The boys are so fascinated that I feel I’ve barely scratched the surface by the time we make it back to our hotel room.

Cody excitedly greets us and I toss the duffel bag onto my bed, opening it up and pulling out some of his food.

“Poor puppy’s been starving,” I say as he shoves his nose in my face in demand for food.

“Let’s see if there are any shows about space on TV,” Papyrus says, finding the remote as I give Cody some food.

I’m about to argue and say there’s nothing on there but drama about us. However, surprisingly, he finds a sciency show discussing the universe after scanning through the guide page.

“Finally, a quality show,” Sans says, pulling a white box out of the bag and opening it to reveal french fries.

“When did you get that?” I ask.

“He couldn’t help but go to Grillby’s while you were in the shower,” Papyrus says, giving Sans an exasperated look.

“Hey, I thought of her,” Sans argues, pulling out a sealed glass bottle of chocolate milk. “You can’t say anything since I got you a sandwich.”

“Yes, I love you very much. Now hush, I’m trying to watch!” Papyrus demands, making me truly smile after what’s felt like ages.

The show is pretty good, only we don’t realize how long it is as it keeps going and going, explaining practically every known facet of the universe. I can tell the boys love it, but I’m beginning to wonder if we should be doing something. I’m not sure what, and even though it feels nice to take a break, I’m starting to feel a little lazy as I consider all the stressful work everyone else is doing.

The boys occasionally glance outside, and as much as I know they want to explore the Surface, they don’t say anything. The thought nearly chokes me with guilt at the fact that they can’t. I guess we could try, but I’ll admit that I’m too afraid we’d run into angry humans within five minutes.

The sun’s progress bothers me the most as the day passes by, and I can’t take it anymore when it reaches the four o’clock range.

“I’m going downstairs,” I say, inching off the bed and grabbing my coat.

“Krista, can’t you just relax for once?” Sans whines, not taking his eyes off the screen as the narrator discusses the Andromeda Galaxy.

“Not when there are so many others working out there. I can’t just give a speech and back away; I should be doing more.” 

“Like what?”

I tie my first sneaker and pause, unsure exactly _what_ I can do. 

“I get how you feel, but really, what _can_ we do?” Papyrus asks.

I frown, “I’ll figure it out.”

I shove on my second shoe and head for the door, the boys following after me while poor Cody remains in the room. I look to my right to see Frisk’s door is slightly ajar, and I knock on it lightly.

“Hey Frisk, you okay?” I ask.

The room is set up just like ours, only facing the opposite way with a view of the city.

Frisk slams the phone down on her nightstand and gives a sharp nod. “Apparently Evelynn, Toriel, and Asgore are going to arrive soon. I guess we should greet them.”

We head downstairs and make it into the empty lobby. A new set of employees stand behind the counter and give us looks varying from sympathy to wariness.

“I guess we’ll just wait over here,” Frisk mutters, traveling into the dining area and jumping when she spots Undyne sitting at one of the tables.

“When did you get back?” I ask her.

“About a half-hour ago, but I forgot to grab a keycard, and I’m too nice to bother you guys,” she smirks.

I get the sense that the real reason is she’s still a little upset about this morning.

“I would have thought Alphys would come back with you,” Papyrus says.

Undyne shrugs, “As much as I wish she could, we need someone taking care of things in the Underground, and I don’t trust anyone else in the Royal Guard to do as good a job as she can.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Papyrus understands as we take a seat at a table near the back corner, right behind Undyne’s. We only wait a few minutes until Evelynn shows up with the monster leaders.

“Krista and Frisk, I will need you two tomorrow,” Evelynn says in greeting, stopping to the left of our table. “As much as I hate to admit this, the president is going to be here, and he expects to discuss with you two your justifications for accepting the monsters.”

Her request seems to make Frisk come alive. “Wait, you mean as in the president of the _country_?”

“That is correct. I expect you two in this lobby by eight o’clock sharp. Have a good night.”

Then the mayor turns and strides out of the hotel, an image of calm disguising raw panic. Something must have happened today that unnerved her, perhaps it was simply the _president_ contacting her. I don’t know how I feel about speaking with someone with such a high level of authority, but then again, I’ve spoken with Asgore. Hell, I’m a damn “queen” myself. 

_Then again_ , this is a man I’ve only seen in pictures and on TV, _and_ he’s been president for six years. His reputation makes him nearly as intimidating as Gaster. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to call him. Sir? Mr. President? I’m certain his first name of Anthony is unacceptable, but would he be fine with Mr. Krenner? I should probably just stick with sir, it’s formal and respectful.

“See? Now you’ve got something to do tomorrow,” Sans jokes.

I squint at him, “I wasn’t asking for something _that_ important.”

“You’ll be fine; we will be there, too,” Toriel says gently.

“I don’t… I don’t know if I can do it,” Frisk says.

“Oh, my child, of course you can,” Toriel says as Frisk gets up and sits at the table next to us so Toriel can put an arm around her.

Asgore sits at the table in front of them and frowns. “I don’t like that the hotel is going to deny the mayor’s wishes, apparently they are going to accept more guests soon, maybe even tonight.”

“Is that our cue to head upstairs?” Sans asks, nearly joking.

“It could be,” Asgore says, his eyes on the doors.

“I don’t think it will be too bad tomorrow,” Papyrus says, patting my arm.

“What makes you say that?” I ask as I hear the hotel doors open, but I’m too distracted to look.

“One way or another, progress is going to be made, right?” he asks.

“I guess so,” I say.

“You think you have a purpose that matters?” a voice snaps, making a chill run through me.

My eyes drift up and I immediately straighten to my feet when I see the incoming people, kicking my chair back with so much force it tips over and hits the ground.

Five people, both familiar and unfamiliar... older. 

I search for the traits even though I can’t really see their eye colors from this distance, but I do note the dark teal green of the young girl’s polished, manicured nails.

“It’s time you remembered your place,” my grandfather snarls.


	9. The Family You Were Never Part Of

“What are you doing here?” I snap, immediately on the defensive.

My grandfather smirks, “Why are you so surprised? Can’t we visit?”

“Considering you have _never_ visited me, yes, it’s quite surprising,” I hiss, remembering how he looked in that memory Cyfalian forced me through. His face is certainly older now with more distinct grooves of wrinkles. However, his eyes, those cold cyan eyes hold the same amount of disgust and despise as they did all those years ago. Too bad Dad wasn’t right. I _wish_ that was the only time I had ever seen my grandfather.

“Considering the _circumstances_ , one would think you’d be happy to see your family,” my grandmother says, her voice clipped.

I can’t help my sharp laugh, “I don’t know how you came to such a deluded conclusion, but we are _not_ family.”

“That is an arguable point, considering how much you look like _her_ ,” my grandfather sneers.

“It’s a pity the little one didn’t survive, at least she looked _somewhat_ like a Briggs,” my grandmother says.

The mention of Mable eases me into calm, wicked anger. They have no right, _none_ at all to say that she should have lived instead of me. I know that’s the truth, but their reasoning is only meant to be an insult instead of a reminder that would have actually hurt me. “Yes, it is too bad that I’m the one left, but at least we don’t have to pretend to like each other. It’s a good thing none of you ever cared about me to begin with.”

I catch glances between the monsters in the corners of my eyes, but I keep my focus on my grandfather’s face, challenging him to come up with better insults.

“Wow, Krista, even after all that’s happened, you’re not _desperate_ for family ties?” Ava says and my head snaps in her direction. A smug smirk is spread across her face, a declaration of how much she has and how much I’ve lost.

She’s probably become even more gorgeous with age, and I recall that she’s probably going to be twenty-two soon. Her strawberry-blonde hair falls in waves over her shoulders to her mid-back, and she wears a low-cut blue blouse with tight black jeans. Her makeup is immaculate, highlighting the stunning light blue of her eyes with the juxtaposition of her deep red lipstick. However… even from this distance, I can still see the faint white lines of three short scars over her left eye.

“Well hello, Ava, did you come to get a matched set?” I ask, brushing my pinky near my right eye.

She squints, “I see getting older has turned you into quite the bitch, or… actually no, you were always a bitch, it’s just more apparent now.”

“Hey, now is not the time to fight,” Aunt Marissa says on the far left, and I finally look at her, making me realize how _wrong_ this feels.

In the center are my grandparents, and Ava stands with Carter on the right. Obviously, they all look older. We’ve all changed. But this puts my suspicions on high alert; maybe Jex’s warning about my grandparents knowing magic all along is true.

“So why the hell are you here?” I ask, crossing my arms, ignoring the stares from the monsters around me. I don’t even want to know what each of them makes of this; my only concern now is appearing as strong as possible to the people I once considered to be my family.

“Isn’t it obvious?” my grandfather asks, gesturing to the monsters.

“Oh, I see, so you’re here to talk to them? Well, then by all means, say what you want. I’m going back to watch a fascinating show about space,” I say, walking out of the dining area and taking a left towards the elevator.

“Krista,” Aunt Marissa says before I can hit the “ _up_ ” button. “We have their ashes.”

My fingers curl into a fist, and I shove my hand into my pocket before I turn around and walk towards the doors. “Where’d you park?” I ask, striding past my aunt, but not fast enough to get away from my grandfather.

He grips my right forearm, his fingers digging into my Death Vow under the layers of my coat and shirt. The pain makes me flinch as I wrench my arm out of his grip with a glare. He squints in observation of my pain, and I shove my hand back into my pocket.

“I assume you have the keys?” I raise an eyebrow, not taking my glare off his dark cyan eyes, feeling an overwhelming urge to show him just how much stronger _I_ am.

“It’s actually a fob, but I’m sure you’ve never seen that before, considering your family’s _limited_ budget,” he hisses back. “Speaking of which, I have quite a few questions for you concerning last January.”

“They can wait,” Marissa says, putting a hand on my shoulder that makes me flinch away. A look of hurt shadows her light green eyes as she pulls out a fob. “They’re actually in my car.”

I gesture for her to lead the way, and I follow her outside to the back of the building. There’s a decent-sized parking lot that’s nearly empty, and I spot two rental cars parked close to the building. Marissa opens the trunk of a dark blue Sonata while my grandfather deliberately leans against the metallic-silver Bentley parked two spots away.

“Unlike your father, _I_ only rent when I fly,” my grandfather says smugly.

“That’s enough, Dad,” Marissa snaps as my eyes land on a double-sided basket covered in blue fabric with a handle in its center. Two urns sit on their respective sides, one a simple dark gray and the other, slightly smaller one, a light green with white flowers.

“Here, sweetheart,” Marissa says, handing me the basket before digging something else out of the corner of the trunk. She pulls out a lavender box with dark purple and green flowers on it, about the size of a couch pillow with a domed lid. “There’s a lock on this and none of us have gotten it open, perhaps you know the combination?”

I have never seen that box in my _life_ , but I take it anyway as if I know exactly what it is.

“That’s pretty much all they salvaged from the house after it collapsed. We… had to identify the bodies, and I decided to have them cremated… just in case you ever came back.”

I don’t know what to say. Thank you? All I can do is nod in response before I turn to head back to the front of the building.

“We’re not done here, _at all_ , Krista,” my grandfather snaps and I stop, my grip tightening on the basket handle.

“How long do you plan to stay?” I ask, staring at the building straight ahead.

“However long it takes for you to give us some answers,” Carter snaps and I close my eyes, feeling a new wave of stress at the fact that I have to deal with _them_ now.

“Fine, let me put this up and I’ll come back down to tell you everything so you can be on your way.”

“Oh no, we plan to stay for _quite_ a while,” my grandmother says.

“We expect you to meet us in our _suite_ in a half hour,” Ava says.

“I don’t know the room number,” I respond.

“I’ll make sure to _personally_ escort you from the lobby,” the girl replies.

“Fine,” I snarl before walking back to the front, never looking back.

I don’t look at anyone as I walk back into the hotel and hit the “ _up_ ” button for the elevator. Unfortunately, in the time I wait, I can feel the presence of the monsters behind me.

“Who’s going to ask the first question?” I ask, staring at the door.

“Who are they supposed to be?” Undyne asks, clearly frustrated there’s a whole other list of secrets I have.

“They are my dad’s parents, his siblings, and the one is my cousin.” I look back at Undyne, “Don’t be surprised, they’ve always hated me.”

“And what did they give you?” Frisk gently asks.

I lift the basket, “What is rightfully _mine_.”

Technically their lives _are_ mine, my _kills_.

The doors open and I walk in, surprised that only my brothers follow. They don’t say anything, and I don’t look at them until we make it into our room and I gently place the basket on the nightstand. I place the box on the bed and Cody sniffs it in question.

“Ava’s not as pretty as you made her seem,” Sans says, making me laugh.

“No, she’s _prettier_.”

“I don’t think so,” Papyrus says.

I shrug, staring at the urns, “See what you want.”

They’re quiet for a moment until Sans gently asks, “What are you going to do with them?” 

I carefully pick up the little green urn, turning it around to see a gold engraving.

_Mable Azalea Meadows_

That’s it, no birth to death date, nothing. It makes me wonder if they even _knew_ when her birthday was.

“Bury them,” I finally reply, realizing how much I _hate_ looking at them.

“Are you sure?” Papyrus asks.

“What else am I supposed to do? Stare at them? Put them on a pedestal? My mother was buried in a place no one will ever find, and that’s what I intend to do with the rest of my family.”

My final words make the boys flinch, and I realize the implication as I place “Mable” back in the basket. “Sorry, I just…” I sit on the bed and rest my head in my hands, staring at those urns. “I thought I had dealt with it, but I clearly haven’t. Being back in the place where they lived… and now they’re not here. The idea was easier to shove aside in a different environment.”

The boys nod in understanding, and I look at the lavender box. “And I have no idea what this is. My aunt said it was the only thing they ‘salvaged’ from the house, but I’ve never seen it in my life.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t open it,” Sans says, taking a seat on the other side of the bed.

“She said they tried different combinations, but it never worked. You’d think they would have gotten lucky at some point,” I say, lifting up the square-shaped, four-digit lock.

“Do you want to try it?”

“I guess so, but it could be anything. I don’t even know who set the combination,” I say, starting with my mother’s birth date.

Nothing.

Dad’s?

Nope.

Mable’s?

Mine?

My parents’ anniversary?

None of them work.

I’m not sure what other dates would work; it’s probably not even a date at all, but wouldn’t whoever set this want someone in particular to open it?

Sans squints at the lock, “This may be a stretch, but what about last January?”

“What makes you think that?”

He shrugs, “It’s the most notable date I can think of. Maybe Chara planned for it?”

“I… guess that could make sense,” I say, setting the date.

 _0-1-2-0_

January 20th, a date that seems so simple and innocent when broken into numbers. When I set the final zero, something bites into my thumb, and I jerk my hand back as the lock pops open.

“Ow, what the hell?” I ask, looking at the side of my thumb to see it bleeding. I look at the lock again and a little spike sticks up from just under the final tumbler.

I pull the lock off and snap it shut, causing the little spike to retreat back inside.

“I’ve never seen something like that; you’d think the spike would come out if you got it wrong.”

“Weird,” Sans says as I pull up the metal latch on the lid and lift it open.

I immediately recognize the scent that wafts out of the box: lavender and pear. A small glass bottle of perfume rests on top of several folders with a picture on it displaying the scent, a basket of pears surrounded by lavender flowers. 

A little note is tied to the bottle: _Happy 16th Birthday, Little Gem._

That is _Dad’s_ handwriting, written in pen by a steady hand.

“This can’t be right,” I say in denial, lifting up the square bottle and looking on the back of the note. Nothing else is written.

“So he knew the date he planned to kill you, but he also planned a birthday gift?” Papyrus asks.

I look back in the box to fully examine it, noticing a pile of folders in the center. Well, there’s a folder on top, and then a hardcover notebook with purple and white chrysanthemums on the cover, followed by another purple folder, and then a green one. Below them is what looks to be a thin scrapbook resting on a folded, deep purple blanket.

What is all this? When did Dad put this together? Too many questions arise at once and I put the bottle back in the box, knowing once I dive in, I won’t stop until I know every secret.

“I’ll look into it later; they want to speak with me,” I say, shutting the lid and placing the box on the ground next to the window. I wipe the drying blood off my thumb on my jeans and head for the door.

“You’re seriously going to meet with them?” Sans asks.

I shrug, “There’s no other way to get rid of them. I’ll answer what I want and be back in a few minutes.”

Sans squints, “None of this seems suspicious to you?”

I tilt my head as if to say, _“Really?”_

“Of course it’s suspicious. I haven’t seen most of them since my mom died, and I never even knew I’d met my grandparents until Cyfalian made me remember. My aunt seems genuine, but I have no idea what to think of the rest of them. They obviously don’t like me, they never did because of Mom, and I can tell they want something from me. So I’m just going to go along with it, let them insult and interrogate me, then I’m going to leave. Maybe I’ll get a few answers from them, too.”

“I get the feeling that you don’t want us to come along,” Sans says.

I sigh, “I really don’t want them to attack you guys. I know you want to defend me, but I’ll be fine.”

I open the door and Papyrus says, “Promise you’ll be back in an hour. This whole thing makes me very uneasy.”

“I’ll really try,” is my only response as I step out into the hall and head for the elevator.

When I make it to the lobby, I spot Ava leaning against one of the short walls sectioning off the dining area, typing away on her phone. She looks up when she hears the elevator doors close and smiles, smoothly turning off the screen and sliding the device in her back pocket.

“You’re five minutes early. Did you really miss me that much?” she asks sweetly.

“Let’s just get this over with,” is my only response as she strides forward and hits the “ _up_ ” arrow on the elevator. We step inside and she hits the button for floor seven. Thankfully they’re nowhere near our floor.

“I got my nails done just for you,” Ava coos, holding out her right hand for me to see her sharp, talon-like nails. “I thought you’d appreciate that.”

“Was the color deliberate?” I ask, eyeing that dark, teal green. It’s not exactly like the lab, but it is _really_ close.

“No, it’s been my favorite color since I was six. I’m guessing you like a more forest green like your coat?”

“Yes,” I say hesitantly, distrusting the casual friendliness in her tone.

Ava laughs, “I’m not going to attack you, Krista. I am far more mature than both you and my thirteen-year-old self. I prefer to injure people with words unlike your feral, animal-like nature, but at least it seems you’ve become a _bit_ more stable. Seeing the urns of the two dead relatives you ran away from must be what’s subduing your snippy attitude.”

“I don’t see how that makes you any more mature than what you said when you were thirteen or when you were nine,” I snap.

“What did I say when I was nine?” Ava innocently asks as the elevator doors open.

“Forget it,” I mumble and she leads the way to their room: _704_.

“Oh, Granddaddy! I brought our favorite problem,” Ava chirps as she opens the door and leads me into the room, making sure to shut the door behind me.

The suite is completely different from ours. It’s much bigger, with a sitting area and three different sections that branch off into different rooms. The whole main wall is made of glass with a view of the valley in the fading sunlight. The sky has gotten cloudy in the past few hours, making me wonder if it’s going to rain tonight.

“Just in time for a drink; what would you care for, Krista?” my grandfather asks, lifting a crystal bottle filled with amber liquid. He sits at the head of the table in the middle of the room, the glass wall to his back. My grandmother sits at his right and Carter on the left. Marissa sits next to her mother and Ava takes a seat next to her father, leaving a spot for me at the opposite end of the table. 

“I’m not old enough to drink,” I say flatly, standing almost right against the door.

“Oh, of course, but no one has to know,” he smirks, lifting his glass. His movement makes me catch the silver in his still relatively blond hair, making me wonder if the pain of my dad caused some of it. My grandmother still looks like a redhead despite her age, making me almost certain that she dyes her hair. Carter has a darker blond than his father, and Marissa is a redhead like her mother. All the similarities make me feel even more out of place. I’m a brunette through and through, despite what the sun can show; the darkness I have spent most of my life in confirms I am my mother’s daughter more than my father’s.

“What do you want to know?” I ask, crossing my arms, noticing that my grandparents changed from the casual clothes they wore earlier into something more formal. A buttoned up, deep red collared shirt on my grandfather, and a flowery, pleated black blouse on my grandmother. It makes me feel like I’m underdressed for a family funeral.

“So impatient, don’t you wish to have a friendly discussion with your family? Catch up on the past few years?” my grandmother asks.

A breath huffs out of my nose in amusement, “‘The past few years?’ Says the woman I haven’t seen since I was _three_?”

“Well, you’ve had such a short lifespan that I forget thirteen years takes up most of your life,” the woman says as if it’s supposed to be funny.

“What do you want to know?” I ask again, more demanding this time.

“What’s the _real_ story of what happened on January twentieth of last year?” my grandfather asks, suddenly serious.

“If you watched my speech this morning then you would know,” I say.

“Oh, I did. I just don’t find it convincing a single _bit_ ,” he says.

“Dad, that’s not fair,” Marissa cuts in. “We only came here to give her support.”

She looks at me, genuine care in her green eyes. “I can only imagine the kind of pain you’ve been through in the past year, sweetheart.”

And even then, I’m sure the most she can imagine is _nothing_ compared to the actual hell I went through. The thought makes me feel even more out of place, looking at these pristine, healthy people. I have been shredded to bits and branded with a mark of death, while these people show no signs of injury apart from the faint remnants of the pain I caused Ava.

“That’s why _you_ came, but not us,” Carter says to my aunt. “I want to know how _you_ ,” he fixes a glare on me, “Little Miss Lucky, aren’t dead like the rest of your family.”

“Are you wishing I was?” I ask.

Silence fills the room, a testament to how they feel about me. I have never mattered to any of them, and now I’m just a nuisance as the sole surviving member of _my_ family.

“Can you just talk to us instead of putting up a wall? What happened? What changed?” Marissa asks.

“Oh, I don’t know, my mom died, that was a pretty big change,” I say, mocking her tone. As caring as she seems to be, she’s still with _them_ , she’s still allowing them to insult and degrade me.

My grandparents share a smug look, causing my anger to spike.

“I’m sure that news made you very happy,” I snap.

“Oh no, dear. We were so _tragically_ upset to hear a lunatic passed away. God forbid her children and my son may have become a family of normalcy. How unfortunate circumstances did not turn out as expected,” the old man says before briefly pausing. “Your daddy went to the bottle, didn’t he?”

“That is none of your business,” I hiss, my cheeks warming.

“Oh, but it is, for you see, I saw the rubble of that house. I saw how many bottles were stashed all over the place. I saw your depleted bank account he undoubtedly stole from. The needs of an addict are quite tragic. It’s no wonder you seem to have had stunted growth. Neither of your parents were anywhere near that short, not by four inches at least. Did Daddy neglect you? Knowing Sheldon, he probably locked himself in a room and forgot about you two. I’m actually amazed you survived long enough for that shabby old house to collapse. And when you found out they were dead… you ran to the _mountain_. The mountain your mommy no doubt worshipped and-”

“You don’t have any right to call her a lunatic now,” I snap, finally fed up with his taunts.

He smirks, “But at the time we knew her, she was. I’d say that justifies our denial of her value as a life. That’s why I didn’t think her funeral was worth attending, there was nothing to mourn.”

I take a deep breath, realizing his goal is to upset me.

“Remus, perhaps we should explain to her the problems she is going to cause if she continues to _misbehave_ ,” my grandmother says, a sly smirk crossing her face.

“Excellent idea, Annette,” Remus says, standing up and lifting his glass as my grandmother follows. “A toast to the deaths of the majority of the Meadows family; how fortunate that fate has only given us one to go.”

Based on the surprised expressions of everyone except Annette, none of the others expected those words.

My grandparents clink glasses and down their drinks. “Now, Krista, I’ll ask once more if you’d like a drink,” Remus says as if nothing happened.

“I’m done with this,” I hiss, turning to leave.

“You got that box open, didn’t you?” he asks, making me pause. “I assume the combination was their death date?”

“What makes you think that?” I ask, my voice on the verge of shaking.

He laughs, “What I’m wondering is if your mother taught Sheldon or if he learned all on his own.”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” Carter asks.

“A lock with a spike built into it is quite unusual, isn’t it?” Remus goes on. “It seems _oddly_ planned, doesn’t it? I think _someone_ manipulated the truth.”

He’s tiptoeing around the real words… he _knows_.

Remus stands up and walks around the table, standing perfectly between the table and the wall to his left.

“Your mother has and always will be a lunatic in my eyes, an unworthy piece of filth that didn’t deserve the affection of my son. Unfortunately, Meadows girls are quite the charmers, they’re good at convincing people their opinion is right. The day he started dating her is the day I disowned him. Unfortunately, it wasn’t yet time for me to share my knowledge with him, so I let him go, allowed him to make the biggest mistake of his life. The only problem is that it caused the issue of _your_ existence, and now it’s something I have to deal with. I never thought a union between our two families was possible, yet here you are, a creature unworthy of living.”

“That… is really harsh, Grandpa. I mean, yeah, she’s kind of a bitch, but… I don’t think she deserves to die,” Ava says, her face scrunched with confusion. The rest of them seem to be confused, too, except Annette.

“Dad, is there something you haven’t been telling us?” Carter asks. “I always agreed that Violet seemed crazy, too, but now we have living proof that she wasn’t. I thought you wanted to come here to ask Krista how she survived. I only wanted to hear the story from her and then we’d leave. I just wanted this trip to be a sense of final closure.”

Remus smirks, “It is far more than that.”

Carter stands up, “Dad, are you feeling okay? Do you need to lie down? Maybe-”

“Let me guess, you think those monsters are your family now, don’t you?” Remus asks.

His mannerisms seem to be getting more deranged… violent. He wants a reaction out of me, which means I need to get out before he hits the right nerve.

I turn to leave as he says, “Those skeletons are abominations like you. Maybe I should interrogate them and figure out how the hell they’re still alive, too. If it was my choice, I’d make sure you three would die first. But don’t worry; I’ll let you die last so you can see me crush them into dust-”

I’m across the room in a second, a sword ready to slice him in half when I’m blocked by a pole of dark cyan light.

I’m not surprised, but the visual display of the truth makes me smirk, “Curonius blood.”

“So you _do_ know what you are,” he growls in amusement. “Then you should know full-well that King Xanvalus would be _very_ disappointed in you.”

“We talked it out, now I’m his last hope for humanity,” I smugly hiss back as I shove him away and he hits the ground, seemingly stunned.

Ava’s eyes dart back and forth between us as my magic vanishes, “What the actual fu-”

“What kind of secrets have you been keeping from us?” Marissa snaps at her parents.

“Honey, we’ve been this way for quite a while, so it’s not something we need to explain to you just yet,” Annette says as if Marissa is a child.

“No, I want answers. What was _that_ Dad?” Carter demands.

Remus only stares at me as he props himself up on his elbows, “Why don’t you ask the Perseverant?”

“The what?” Ava asks.

“Yes, Remus, why don’t you explain to _your family_ how you know magic? I thought that was something you insisted wasn’t real,” I say as if I’m shocked.

He smiles, “What kinds of demons have you played with in the Underground to get so strong, little bitch?”

“Maybe it’s just the fact that you’re so weak that you can’t handle a little shove,” I say, feeling a sense of superiority that I shouldn’t have.

“Are you challenging me, then?” Annette hisses, and I smirk as I narrow my gaze on her light orange eyes.

“I wouldn’t want to hurt you any more than my existence already has. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some folders to look through.”

I turn and open the door to stride out of the room, feeling my head lift high with accomplishment. It felt good to make them hurt, even if it was just a little bit. I walk to the elevator and hit the “ _up_ ” arrow, feeling a wave of calm.

“Hey, hey, hey, wait a second!” Ava snaps, running down the hall and jumping in front of me. “What the hell was that? What did you do?”

“I think you should ask your grandfather for the details; I have some things to do,” I say as the doors open.

“No! I want to hear it from you!”

“Why?”

“Because… because you know things. You know monsters and magic and… whatever weird things he was implying about our heritage.”

“Well no, he meant more about what is solely mine, but sure, yours is part of that.”

Ava shakes her head, completely frazzled and the doors shut behind her, “Whatever! Just _please_ , please explain to me what’s going on.”

“If you weren’t so conceited and judgmental, then perhaps I would be inclined to do so. But for as long as I’ve interacted with you, you have consistently belittled and insulted me. You blindly agreed with the hateful things they said about my mother, and you have never once taken the chance to get to know me. So as far as I’m concerned, I don’t owe you the courtesy of explaining things.”

I step around her and hit the button again so the doors open and I walk inside.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I never considered that maybe _I’ve_ been the bitch this whole time. What can I do to try to make up for it?” Ava asks as I hit the button for the thirteenth floor. I can take the stairs the rest of the way; I don’t want her to know where I’m actually staying.

“As of right now, I can’t think of anything. Go back to your perfect life, Ava,” I say as the doors shut.

The elevator begins to move and I breathe a sigh of relief, realizing how tense my shoulders were. I feel a sudden need for a hug or some form of comfort after getting bombarded with so many deep-cutting insults.

The elevator stops and I take the stairs the rest of the way, making it to _1507_ and opening the door to an empty room.

“Hello?” I ask, shutting the door.

“Hey, we’re in here,” the boys say from their room as Cody runs up to greet me.

“How bad was it?” Sans asks as they enter my line of sight, seeming relieved that it didn’t take too long.

“Well… my grandfather has magic, like Jex thought,” is how I start before explaining all that happened.

“Damn, that just makes everything worse,” Sans mutters when I’m finished.

“I don’t know what my grandparents are going to do, but at least the rest of them realize they’ve been lied to for years.”

“It’s just so unfair how they treated your family. They were being hypocrites and mocking the very thing they knew was real,” Papyrus says.

I nod as I stroke Cody’s fur, “I know.”

Sans sighs, “At least we can ignore them for now and stay here the rest of the night.”

“Well… I actually wanted to take care of the urns before it gets dark,” I say.

“You can’t be serious,” Sans says.

“I am,” I respond, placing Cody on the ground and walking over to the nightstand. “They’re not coming back, and I’ve been trying to find closure for over a year. Burying them now is another step towards that.”

“And I assume you want to go alone for this, too?” Sans asks, crossing his arms.

I sigh, “I know you want to comfort me, but I also need some alone time. So much has changed and it’s only been two days, and I… I just need some time to clear my head.”

“I understand,” Papyrus says, “we just don’t want you to shove us away.”

“I’m not, I just-” I cut myself off, feeling all those emotions rise. It’s been _so much_ , and an overwhelming amount of guilt begins to choke me as I regret taking the short periods of rest for granted.

“Hey, we get it. Take the time to sort out your thoughts; find a sense of closure. It’s the least you deserve,” Papyrus says, putting an arm across my shoulders.

I stare at his kind, understanding face, baffled that someone could give me so much love after all the hatred I’ve faced today. “Thanks for giving Asgore a good excuse. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten out of that this morning.”

“Well, I don’t like lying, but it’s not like anyone would believe the truth.”

“Maybe they would, with all the secrets getting revealed, but I’m definitely not going to try to explain it,” Sans says.

“No, I think it’s best we keep those days locked up,” I say, stepping away from my brother and grabbing the urn basket. “I promise I won’t be long. This is one thing that I really do want to get over with.”

“Don’t start to overthink it,” Sans says, implying all the thoughts of self-hatred he knows I’ll go through if he doesn’t say something.

“I know,” I nod, about to leave when a thought stops me. I may not want to know the location of the grave, but I feel like I should have something in honor of them. Something that will tell a stranger in the distant future that people who _mattered_ are buried below them.

I turn around and dig through my duffel bag, finding the light green gem hidden in a rose-colored sweatshirt.

“Looks like it will be useful after all,” I say, showing the gem to the boys before heading out the door.

As much as I know they won’t follow out of respect, I feel a slight twinge of a wish that they would. But then again, they never knew my sister or my dad. I am the sole person in this world who really knew them, which is why this burial will only have the attendance of one SOUL.

I make it to the lobby and almost jump when I see Ava out of the corner of my eye, pacing back and forth in the dining area. I don’t think she sees me as I slip out the front doors, but that hope is quickly diminished when I catch those light blue eyes lock onto mine at the last second.

Damn it.

I immediately turn and walk past the back of the building, towards the valley. I get the _slight_ sense she’s following me, but she never calls out to get me to stop, so I keep going. I walk out of the city and into the grasses still stunted from the winter, walking for yards until I’m past my pear tree that I spot distantly in the corner of my eye.

The cloudy skies darken, and the scent of an incoming storm drifts on the increasing winds. Will there be a thunderstorm? It seems a little early for that, but then again, I recall it happening before. I find myself hoping there will be, if only so my brothers can witness one more wonder of the Surface.

I keep going and going, never looking back as the mountain becomes increasingly larger in front of me. I don’t know where to go, but I guess that’s the point of finding a place that I never expect to see again.

I finally reach the bottom of the mountain, pausing to look up at its magnificence, wondering how many other children did the same before deciding to end their lives. As important as the Whisperers try to make me seem, I still feel as average as those forgotten SOULs. I’ve never been a person of power or importance, yet here I am, in the middle of the biggest shock the world has experienced in a thousand years. I suppose it is a good thing I’m still alive; I just need to make my survival worth it. I need to make an impact that tells the world I exist for a _reason_.

Is that what Mom wanted for me? Would she be proud of the person I’ve become? Would she still love me despite what I’ve done?

I bite my lip and continue on, into the woods growing only a few yards away from the mountain. The solitude is a breath of fresh air, out in nature, _real_ nature, under a sky full of clouds instead of a ceiling of stone stars. It helps me forget the terrors that have happened, the horrors that will come. I want to think everything will be worth it, but if there’s a chance Frisk will Reset…

I have to find a way to convince her to move on, and I haven’t done a good job with all the distractions that have popped up. I would think that every day that passes would make her wish to go back to the Underground less and less. But I really don’t know Frisk. Maybe I should remind her of what’s at stake, the lives and freedoms of thousands. Why would anyone want to throw away the work that has already been done?

My grip tightens on the basket handle as I maneuver around fallen trees and sharp branches. I don’t know how far to go, maybe just far enough that it wouldn’t be easy for me to ever come back. It feels like it’s been long enough already.

I keep going for about twenty minutes, noting the dimming light of the sky and stopping when I figure I should leave enough time to find my way out while there’s still daylight. I feel the distant presence of another SOUL… a human SOUL, but I ignore her as I form a cube of magic and drill it into the earth under a silver maple, grasping the excess dirt and placing it next to the hole. Wild violets surround the bottom of the tree, making me figure this is the perfect spot to bury my family.

It seems like a memorable spot, but I’ve been seeing silver maples and violets for the past ten minutes. I’ll never remember this exact location.

I don’t know how deep I drill my magic, but it’s enough that even when I reach down, my fingers can’t touch the dark earth. They say six feet, but I’m guessing I went a bit deeper.

I lift up my dad’s urn first, seeing his full name written on the back in silver. I’m not sure what to think or say before I bury him. I loved him dearly before everything changed, and afterwards… I _thought_ I hated him. I wanted to hate the endearing nickname he gave me, but now… I treasure it more than any gift he ever offered.

A small part of me wants to resent him for his weakness, for falling so easily to Chara’s power and neglecting the two people he should have cared for more than ever. But as I hold the jar containing his ashes… I don’t feel anything except emptiness. I miss him. I miss those bright green eyes filled with optimism, the hugs that guaranteed everything would be alright, and the constant protectiveness and love that only a father can give. Was it a mercy to kill him? To rid the world of the shell he’d become?

My fingers tighten around the urn, and I place it back in the basket before the emotions rise. Then I lift up Mable’s next.

My baby sister: the one person in this world who meant everything to me. I tried so hard to shelter her, to protect her, but I was never good enough. As much as I gave… she deserved so much better. I always liked to imagine her all grown up, with a family and a job as a teacher. My only goal in life was to stay alive long enough to get her away from that hell, but afterwards… I never thought that far into the future. But in the end, none of it mattered. I’m still here, and she’s long gone, only after a single decade of life.

My fingers grip the urn as my throat closes, tears threatening to well up, but I hold them back and place the jar in the basket. I grab the handle and lower the basket into my makeshift grave, reaching as far as possible until the basket finally touches the damp dirt.

No thoughts, no emotions as I let them go and stand up, using my magic to push the excess dirt on top of them. I said goodbye a year ago, it makes this feel like a simple formality, an action forced out of tradition rather than the need for closure.

I know there are things I’ll never truly come to terms with, but this feels like the end of a long, exhausting journey. They’ve reached their final resting place, and I can leave the burden of their bodies behind. No more wondering what was done to them, no carrying them around like the weight of the locket on my necklace. They’re at rest, and I can move on.

It doesn’t mean I forget them. No. _Never_. It doesn’t mean I can’t think of what ifs. It only means I can say for certain that I know where they are, hidden from the world, safe from harm. I know they walk in a valley unlike the one mere yards away from me, surrounded by snow-capped mountains and air so sweet there’s nothing like it in this world. The thought makes a small part of me wish I could have stayed with them, but the rational side knows I’m not done with my time here.

I pull the light green gem out of my pocket and place it at the top of the grave, almost hidden under the spreading vines of the wild violets. A weight seems to lift off my chest as I take a deep breath, feeling a sense of peace.

The human SOUL inches closer now and I smirk, fed up with her stalking.

“What do you want, Ava?” I ask and I hear her feet shuffle back in surprise.

“I- I just… wondered what you were going to do, and I… I wanted to give you a real apology. I also wanted to pay my respects,” she replies, walking up to stand next to me.

My eyes don’t leave the grave, “Say what you want.”

I can practically feel her wince at my dull tone as she looks at the grave. “Well uh… hi, Uncle Sheldon… Mable, I-”

“ _No_ , that’s not what I meant,” I hiss, finally looking at her. 

“I guess I don’t have a right to say anything,” she murmurs.

“You can say whatever the hell you want, but not while _I’m_ here,” I snap, walking a few feet away from her, back towards the direction I came from.

“Why?”

I stop and scoff before turning to face her. “Because they’re not _here_ . You could be standing on the other side of the world and it wouldn’t make a damn difference. They are dead! They can’t hear you! But I guess you wouldn’t know that since you have no idea how it _feels_.”

I turn around and she says, “I really am sorry, truly, from the depths of my heart. I want to find some way to make things right with you. I can’t… I can’t imagine how painful it is to lose a sibling or a parent, let alone both parents.”

I take a deep breath, “Why the change of heart?”

“Because I realize how stupid I was to believe Grandpa. He… he _lied_ to all of us our whole lives. He always insisted your mom was crazy, that magic and monsters were such insane fictions to believe that it meant she must have been insane. But now I see that it was all a cover-up because your mom came from the family who fought for the monsters… and _we_ came from those who murdered them.”

I slightly tilt my head in intrigue, almost looking over my shoulder to see her expression. 

“I’ll let you know that my dad was so ashamed after Grandpa explained everything, and I think it will be the biggest regret of his life. We all pushed your family away because we blindly believed lies… which is why I have no shame in saying I deserve these scars from you. In fact, I deserved worse that day… because I was such an insensitive bitch after you had lost one of the most important people in your life. So truly, I am sorry, Krista, for everything. Every comment, every insult, even every thought I’ve had of hatred for you, I am so, so sorry.”

I take a deep breath and turn to face her, searching for lies, for any sign that she might not be genuine, but I don’t find them.

“I’m… sorry I did that to your eye, it must be hard to explain to people,” I say, giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Ava shrugs, “For years I’ve explained it with insults, but now… I’m fine with saying they’re deserved.”

“Have people ever stayed away from you because of it? Treated you like some sort of freak?”

“Nah, I’m such a charmer that I’ve always found a spot in popularity,” she tosses her gorgeous curtain of wavy hair, and I see how hard she’s trying to lighten the mood. 

“I guess since you’re so pretty, it’s not that big of a deal,” I say, trying to reciprocate a light joke to tell her I’m trusting her apology. I’m giving her a chance.

Ava’s brows furrow in confusion. “You… think _I’m_ pretty?”

I bark out a single laugh, “Why does that surprise you?” 

“I don’t… even before the scars, I never thought I was anything noticeable. And now that I’m looking at you… I don’t think it’s even a competition. For one, your hair is really pretty; I can’t believe you’ve kept it so long all these years.”

I shrug and pinch a clump of my hair, “It’s more out of resistance to change than anything else. Also-” I cut myself off, catching my words just in time from revealing it’s to hide my scars.

A faint expression of confusion crosses Ava’s face, but she doesn’t press. “I won’t tell you how many times I’ve wished for purple eyes,” she says instead.

I smirk, both amused and relieved that she doesn’t ask any questions. I turn and start to head back the way I came. “I thought you said they were a freakish color.”

“Well, that was before I took the time to _really_ look at them, and seriously, if I could pick an eye color, it would be yours,” she says, catching up to walk beside me.

“If you knew the meaning behind them, you wouldn’t,” I say, tempted to share the traits with her. Why not? She knows I have magic, she knows about our grandparents. What’s the harm in telling her?

“Grandpa said something like… perseverance?”

“That’s right, Integrity,” I smirk.

Her blue eyes widen, “What are the others?”

“It’s a lot more complicated than that.”


	10. Remnants Of The Past

I only keep to the basics, explaining the traits that pair with the eye colors before briefly explaining our family histories. I make no indication on what traits are stronger than others, especially not the horrors Determinations are capable of.

Thankfully, we make it back to the hotel before she can ask any  _ real  _ questions, the ones I would hesitate to answer. But Ava seems to be pretty enamored by all I’ve told her so far, if only she knew I’ve barely scratched the surface.

“Do you think they’re still arguing?” I ask her as we step inside the elevator, and she hits the button for the twentieth floor.

“Yeah, which is why I’m not getting anywhere near that room for at least the next hour,” she smirks. “I’ll just stare out at the valley while I wait.”

“Well, I’ve got to get back to my brothers; they worry a lot,” I say without thinking.

“Your brothers? The skeletons?” she asks, and I feel the blood drain from my face.

Damn it, no turning back now. “There are, uh… a lot of things that happened while I was down there. Those boys were the first monsters I met, and it turns out, we have a lot in common. They had nothing but each other, I was all alone… we kind of became our own little family. It wasn’t immediate, the one actually resented me a little, but now… there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for each other.”

Ava makes a face that immediately puts me on the defensive. “I know it’s really weird. I realize that they’re  _ skeletons _ , but after a while... you don’t really see  _ monsters  _ anymore, you just see the people you love.”

The elevator reaches the twentieth floor, and we step out to walk to the window a few paces down on the right wall. It’s a view of the valley and the mountain beyond, higher than I’ve ever seen it. “I didn’t make a face out of disgust, just so you know,” Ava says, “but I will admit, it does kinda weird me out. I’m not trying to be judgmental, but…  _ God _ , I can’t imagine how it feels, to lose everything and then enter a world so unlike all you’ve ever known. Or were you prepared for it, since you believed your mom’s stories?”

I shake my head, “I stopped believing them after she died.”

“So… did you learn magic while you were in the Underground?”

“Yeah,” is all I say.

Ava’s quiet for a moment before she asks, “How does it feel? That kind of power?”

“It can be scary if you get too lost in it, if you let your heart take control over your mind. But overall… it’s kind of liberating, knowing you have a power that can keep you safe. Keep in mind though, the sheer amount of strength it takes is all on you. Magic doesn’t fix nearly as many problems as you might think, and it’s not infinite.”

“Did you have to fight to survive down there?” she cautiously asks.

“Yes, but not in the way you’re probably thinking. Most of the time… things were okay, but there were a handful of individuals that wanted to make it hell.”

“Are there… creatures I should be afraid to see, then?”

I smirk, “Maybe, but I doubt they’ll do anything to you, and if they do try something… I got your back.”

Ava’s brows furrow in disbelief, “You shouldn’t forgive me so easily.”

“Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t, but then again, people have forgiven me for saying far worse than you have. Besides, you don’t plan on staying for long, do you?”

“I technically could stay until June since my new job doesn’t start until then. I got it last week, but it’s a matter of getting all the information together and scheduling training in the meantime. I thought this ‘semester break’ would be fun. I graduated college last December, and I  _ thought  _ I was in the best relationship of my life. We had all these plans to travel and look for a house, but then I found out he was cheating on me last month, figures. I’ve had it happen before, but this time… I  _ really  _ thought he was the one.”

Ava shakes her head and crosses her arms, “Sorry, I probably sound like a whiny, spoiled brat.”

“I don’t think so, that’s a horrible, horrible thing to do to someone. Love is the last thing anyone should lie about.”

She raises an eyebrow, “Have you had any similar experiences?”

I laugh, “Hell no, the only friend I ever had up here was just my coworker. He was nice, but I don’t think there was ever a possibility of a relationship with the way my home life was. Now, I bet he thinks I’m some sort of damaged freak.”

“Well, you never know. Have you seen him since then?”

“No, and I don’t really want to go back to the places I once knew in this city, too many memories.”

“Why not take a chance?” Ava raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t have time to think about things like that. Besides, I’m a little young for a relationship.”

Ava rolls her eyes, “I first dated when I was fourteen, it only lasted a month, but I still count it. He taught me how to properly hold hands. Then I was fifteen and I had my first kiss; it was his, too, so it didn’t go very well. When I was sixteen, I had a little fling with a girl for a few months… then she cheated on me. I took a break for a year, and then I thought I met the guy of my dreams senior year. It  _ only  _ lasted senior year. When I got to college, I met this last guy and had the longest relationship of my life. Turns out, he never  _ officially  _ broke up with his last girlfriend. So I think I should take a longer break from dating… hopefully one day I’ll find the right person. But you’re what, eighteen? You’re not ‘too young’ to start dating.”

I don’t know how to respond after hearing the history of her love life. A relationship is something I never really thought about growing up. I guess I  _ could  _ imagine getting married and having kids… in fact it does sound nice to have that kind of family. But I don’t know who would ever accept and love me once they knew my story. As of right now, I can’t see that far into the future.

“I’m actually sixteen, and for now, I think I’m fine with being single.”

I should have guessed I’d fall into a discussion like this. Aren’t relationships what a lot of girls talk about? It’s never been a topic of discussion with Undyne simply because of her personality. I’m not sure who she’d end up with, but she is close with Alphys. Then again, she never talks about Alphys like they’re anything more than friends. Maybe I’m just not paying close enough attention.

“Where did you work?” Ava suddenly asks.

“No, you are not going to drag me there-”

She cuts me off by grabbing my wrist and taking me to the elevator. “Come on, don’t you at least want to see an old friend?”

I wince, “We don’t even know if he’ll be there.”

“We won’t if we don’t look,” she says, hitting the lobby button.

“You know, I really should get back to my brothers-”

“Oh, they can wait. They see you all the time while it’s been  _ years  _ for us.”

“Ava-”

“Come on, you never know if you don’t try, and I know you’re gonna be busy with other stuff in the near future, but don’t you want some human companionship at least?”

“I think you’re doing this to stay away from your family,” I say.

“That’s exactly right, and you’re gonna help me.”

She gives me a bright smile and I frown. “You really don’t know what kinds of things we should be worrying about.”

Ava rolls her eyes, “God, Krista. I know life’s been rough for you; I know it’s hard to trust me, but can you go along with this? Can you indulge in the teenage fantasy of finding a significant other? I just learned that I’ve been lied to my whole life, and I need some sort of outlet I’m familiar with to ignore it. You on the other hand, know so many unusual things that I’m introducing you to things that normal kids deal with.”

“I’m not normal?” I ask, even though I know full-well how true that statement is.

Ava smirks, “If you can recite the trait that goes with every human eye color, then yeah, you’re not normal.”

The doors open and Ava leads the way out of the lobby, back out into the cooling night air. It’s definitely going to rain soon. 

The few street lamps turn on, and I grudgingly lead the way to the restaurant, knowing it’s surprisingly not too far from here.

“So why didn’t your mom come?” I ask, remembering how much Emma hated me, too.

“Well, it’s no secret that she didn’t like your family. She said this was Dad’s business, and she wanted me to scratch your eyes out.”

“How endearing,” I say, feeling wary even though it’s clear Ava won’t.

“Yeah, and then Cody and Isla didn’t come because of school; their dad stayed because of work. You don’t really know them too well, do you?”

“I never saw any of you again after Mom’s funeral.”

Ava’s manicured eyebrows scrunch, “Did you feel isolated?”

“Of course.”

“The only person you had was Mable?”

“Yeah,” I say, feeling frustration rise. What’s her point?

“I just... find it hard to believe that your dad changed so much. He loved you two more than anything.”

There it is. The line I now have to walk. “You’d be surprised by how much losing the love of your life will change a person.”

“Grandpa implied he became an alcoholic… is that true?”

I sigh, “Yes, Ava, yes he did.”

“Did he…”

I give her a glare, “Yes, he ignored Mable and I on  _ good  _ days. On the bad ones… let’s say she and I had our fair share of black eyes. Happy?”

Ava visibly winces and I look ahead again, spotting the restaurant across the street. “And now you’ve forced me into this, back down memory lane, because guess what? This is the last place I went to before going home and finding out they were  _ dead _ .”

Ava averts my eyes as we cross the street to the same little restaurant with the punny name,  _ Bonn Appetite _ . Sans thought it was funny.

I take a deep breath and walk in, noticing they’re about to close soon when I glance at the new hours on the door. Even though it’s a Saturday, the restaurant is completely empty. Scents of cinnamon and frosting fill the room, throwing me back through so many memories.

Once again, I am not ready.

A voice rings from the kitchen as it travels closer, “Hello, how can I hel-”

Matt stares at me with wide eyes, their deep brown as much of a relief as they are a comfort to see. He looks exactly the same, a good nine inches taller than me with wavy black hair combed to the right.

“Krista,” he says, seeming unsure of what else to say.

“Hi, Matt,” is my only reply.

“Are you, uh… here for a visit or were you getting something to eat?” he stumbles, glancing at Ava.

“I was just leaving,” Ava says and I turn to her with a glare. She smirks and turns off the  _ Open  _ sign. “I’ll see you later, cousin.”

She strides out of the restaurant, and Matt glances at the computer at the register. “Oh, it is time to close,” he says, walking to the door and locking it, flipping off one set of lights in the process.

“Do you, uh, want a cinnamon roll? I have a few left over from earlier,” he says, seeming surprised to see me standing behind him even though I haven’t moved.

“Sure,” I say as I walk to the back as if I own this place. The kitchen looks the same as ever, with the stove and cabinets against the wall hidden from customers’ view. It’s completely empty in the center of the room, allowing space for people to maneuver in and out without crashing into each other.

“I’m surprised no one’s working with you,” I say, spotting a tray of cinnamon rolls on top of the stove.

“Bonnie actually just left fifteen minutes ago. It’s been pretty slow the past couple days,” Matt says, standing just inside the kitchen, as if he’s afraid to get close to me.

“She didn’t hire anyone new?” I ask.

“She did, but the new girl isn’t that reliable; we’ve had five different employees since you… left,” he says cautiously.

“Yeah… about that,” I say, wincing a bit as I try to think of what to say. Matt finally walks up to me, a pained expression tightening his face. “I-” he pulls me into a hug, making me stiffen at how foreign it feels. It’s not entirely because of his height; he’s probably a little shorter than Papyrus. No, it’s the strength and warmth of another  _ human _ . Sure, Frisk hugged me, but that was quick and meant to be a thank you. With Matt… the closest comparison would be to how Dad hugged me. It’s that security of someone bigger and seemingly stronger than me who will take care of everything. Judging by the muscles I feel, Matt is certainly stronger than me in a physical sense. If he knew what he was… I’m sure his magic would be, also.

“I’m so, so sorry,” he says, pulling away. “I know your little sister was everything to you.”

I nod, “Yeah… I’m sorry I never came back that next day.”

“Are you kidding me? You don’t have to apologize for anything. I can’t imagine how it feels.”

“Well… it was cowardly of me to run,” I say.

Matt shakes his head, “You were just trying to process that information. You didn’t know you’d end up… underground.”

“I suppose you want to hear about that,” I smirk, turning around to grab a cinnamon roll, unable to stand the sweet scent any longer.

“Oh, no, you don’t have to say anything. I’m still in shock that the legends are true. I just want you to know that… I never forgot about you. Sure, I wondered where you went, and when I heard about your house, I was scared at first that you were dead. I know we only knew each other for three months, but I was often concerned that something bad would happen to you. You never talked much about your home life, so I was scared that it wasn’t particularly… safe.”

“It wasn’t,” I admit before brushing off the memories of pain with another bite into my pastry.

His eyebrows furrow, “I’ll ask this: were things better in the Underground? Not to be rude, but you look healthier than the last time I saw you.”

I smile without thinking, “Not at first, but things got better. A lot has changed for me in the past year… I would have thought you’d moved on by now.”

“Well, I just turned eighteen, so I’ve got a couple more years until I start college. I did get a second job, one more targeted towards what I want to do in the future. But… I just couldn’t let this place go yet.”

I nod, “It’s weird, seeing someone who hasn’t changed much, while I feel so different.”

His eyebrows scrunch and I can tell he bites back a question while he says, “I’m sure things will change soon, if monsters really are going to become part of society.”

“How do you feel about that?” I ask, genuinely wondering what someone who has no part in it thinks.

“I, uh,” he scratches the back of his neck. “I think it will be strange to get used to, but hey, you did it. I’m sure the rest of us can, too.”

“Are you scared of them?”

“Well, they look a little scary, but I think my mind will change if I get to know any of them. My only question would be how their magic will affect us. My mom’s concerned that they’ll try to overthrow us if they have magic.”

“Trust me, most of them are not violent at all,” I say, brushing crumbs off my fingers as I finish my cinnamon roll. They’re not as good as Lavora’s, but I’m not going to say anything. “I’ll let you in on a secret, humans are considered to be more dangerous.”

“Because we locked them underground?”

I nod, holding back the extra information that our magic is considered to be the dangerous part.

I suddenly hear a phone vibrate and Matt jumps, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“I’m sorry, I better head back,” I say, inching towards the kitchen exit.

“Oh, yeah, sorry I should clean up anyway,” he says, dismissing whatever message he got and tucking his phone away.

“My cousin, Ava, she brought me here because she thought I needed to hang out with a normal person again,” I try to joke. “I guess she’s kinda right since I’m not used to being around humans anymore.”

“Well, I’m here on the weekends if you ever want to visit. My uh, schedule’s a little annoying with my other job and then my little siblings always want to do something, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I’d be happy to take the time. I might actually have more questions for you when monsters start to walk down the streets.”

“I’ll try to answer them as best I can. The most important thing to remember is that they’re people, just like us,” I say, heading for the front door.

“That’s a good enough tip to remember,” Matt says, following me to unlock the door.

He opens it and I look back at his brown eyes, suddenly wondering what they would look like if they were red. What kind of strength is hiding in his SOUL? What kind of power can’t he reach only because he doesn’t know he has it?

No, I shouldn’t tell him. Even though the Barrier is gone and everything seems to be okay, it’s a world he shouldn’t get wrapped up in. It’s nothing but misery and pain that he doesn’t deserve to experience.

I realize I’ve been staring at him for too long, and I clear my throat. “Thank you, for letting me talk. I missed hearing your optimistic pep talks every morning.”

He seems to blink away a chain of thought as he looks away from me, too. “Thanks for visiting; I’m glad you’re doing well. Maybe I could… meet some of the monsters at some point? Try to understand their world?”

“For sure, some of them can be a little overwhelming, but they’re good people, they’ll like you.”

Matt gives me a light smile, “I can’t wait. Until then, I hope you’ll be okay dealing with this sudden fame.”

I shrug, “It’s a lot to handle, but I’m sure things will turn out alright. I’m just gonna take it day by day.”

“I think you’ve found your own form of optimism,” he says, seeming surprised by the hope in my voice.

I say without thinking, “Survival changes you, having hope despite what happened makes the bad days easier to get through.”

I finally step entirely out of the store and glance up at the dark sky. I need to get back fast before Sans tries something.

“I don’t want to pry… but would you be willing to tell me your story at some point?” Matt cautiously asks. I look back at him, surprised by his sudden insistence. “I know a lot has changed, but I still want to be friends, if you’re willing.”

I smile, “Next Saturday night, I’ll meet you here.”

I wave goodbye before he can respond and head down the street, already wondering what I’m going to tell him. How honest can I be?

I really want to explain everything to somebody, but Matt, a normal person, would be the least likely to believe me. He’d probably think I’ve gone nuts. But then again, he seems to be really accepting. At least I know there’s one human who’s willing to give the monsters a chance.

Is it because he’s a Determination? Or is it something else? Maybe it’s just his personality. After all, he’s the only human who’s ever wanted to be friends with  _ me _ .

I make it back to the hotel with no sign of Ava anywhere, so I head back to my room, feeling hesitant to face the boys again. The room is dark when I enter, and I hear Cody jump off the bed to greet me.

“They’re in their room, watching more of that space show,” he says through his SOUL. “Are you going to let them know you’re back?”

“Can you? I’m going to take a shower,” I say, pulling off my shoes and throwing my coat onto the dresser.

Cody nods as I grab clean clothes and sneak into the bathroom, feeling dirty despite my shower earlier today. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because of dealing with my family or maybe it’s because I finally buried my father and sister.

When I get out, I put on a cami, my rose-colored sweatshirt, and new jeans, still not entirely comfortable with wearing something as relaxing as my fuzzy pajama pants. A sense of uneasiness fills me as I remember my grandparents are a few floors below us. 

When I step out of the bathroom, the room is lit by the one lamp on the dresser, and my brothers stand next to it, waiting to question me.

“That took quite a while,” Sans says, seeming disappointed.

I sigh and rub my eyes, “Let me explain.”

“So Ava’s actually being nice?” Sans asks about twenty minutes later after I go through everything. I sit on my bed, propped up by pillows with Cody snuggled against me.

“Being lied to seems to have changed her mind about me,” I shrug.

“Do you think she’s trustworthy?” Papyrus asks, leaning against the dresser.

“Mostly, but I haven’t told her anything that’s considerably important just in case.”

“What about Matt?” Sans asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. He seems glad that I still have a friend, but I can tell he’s just worried if I’m at risk of getting stabbed in the back if I tell anyone too much.

“He doesn’t know any more about monsters or me than the world does. I kept it simple and brief, but it was nice to see him again.”

“From what I gather, he could be valuable when it comes to humans accepting monsters into society,” Sans says.

I nod, “Yeah, but I’m not going to force him to fight for us.”

“No, but it’s good to know we have some support beyond the mayor,” Papyrus says.

“And the president is supposed to be the leader of the country, right?” Sans asks.

I had completely forgotten about the meeting tomorrow, and I feel the blood drain from my face. “Yeah,” is all I can say.

“We’ll keep the TV down,” Sans says, standing up and turning the lamp off.

“You can read me so well,” I smirk, wondering if exhaustion flashed across my face when the reminder hit me.

“I’ll make sure you get up in time, but not so soon that you’ll have time to freak out,” he winks. I roll my eyes as they enter their room and shut the door. 

There’s enough light in the room from the buildings below that my eyes catch the flower-covered box on the floor to my left, reminding me of the secrets I have yet to find. I lean down and pick it up, opening the lid to see that bottle of perfume again.

Cody sniffs it in question and I just place it next to the folders so I can pull out the top one. I open it to immediately see my name at the top of a piece of paper, and I pull it out to realize it’s my birth certificate. Behind it is Mable’s and in the left pocket is Mom’s death certificate. Behind Mable’s certificate are two cards, both of them with nine-digit numbers on them. I remember social security numbers are really important, I think for identification with the government or something along those lines. I remember writing mine down on my application to work at Bonnie’s. The first card has my number on it, and the other is Mable’s.

I tuck the cards back in the folder and place it at the bottom of the pile, feeling a sense of comfort knowing that I have those important documents. But why would Dad put them in this box?

I pick up hardcover notebook that’s next, noting the meaning of the chrysanthemum flowers on the cover. I open it and read the title at the top of lined paper,  _ “Happy 1st Birthday, Krista!” _

I’d know that handwriting anywhere, but I never knew she wrote anything  _ to _ me. My eyes drift around the page, noting little purple flowers clumped in the corners and seeing that the date was, in fact, my first birthday. My throat dries as I look at the beginning of the first paragraph, hesitant to dive in.  _ Should  _ I read this? Did she ever  _ intend  _ for me to read this? I bite my lip and allow my eyes to drift over the words.

_ Krista Isabel, it feels like it’s been so long yet such a short amount of time that I’ve had you in my life. Only a year ago, I heard your first cries, and now you’re already walking! I can’t explain how much I love you. It’s beyond any number of pages I could write and any number of hugs and kisses I could give you. _

_ I always wanted to be a mother, but I didn’t realize just how challenging and rewarding that responsibility would be. I know there’s so much more to come, but I can already tell you’re going to be stubborn, like me. I guess that’s a way to test my skills as a mother. Are we going to bicker in a few years? Probably, but I will already tell you that I wouldn’t want you any other way. _

_ You are my baby girl and your daddy’s little gem. I can’t wait to help you grow into the kind of woman I hope you’ll become. _

I don’t know when the tears started, but I swipe them away before they hit the page. I look forward and see she wrote something for every birthday I had, up to my seventh. I read every entry, feeling nothing but sorrow as the weight of her love presses against my aching heart. Her entries are never longer than a few paragraphs, but her messages are clear:  _ I love you. I am proud of you. I’m excited for this next year of your life. _

I look through the rest of the notebook to find it empty, desolate of the words she would have said all those birthdays I didn’t have her. I never knew she wrote this, but I guess that’s the point. She would have written in it every year until she deemed me old enough to see it. Maybe once I had become the kind of woman she’d hoped I would be. Am I? Probably not, I’m no longer her precious baby girl; I’m a violent echo of the undamaged, happy child she had.

The thought brings more tears as I place the notebook under the pile and grab the next folder. Inside this one are multiple pages of lined notebook paper clipped into the center. At the top of the first page is nothing but the date of my mother’s funeral, written in Dad’s handwriting.

_ Krista, Mable, I never imagined a day like this would come so soon. I thought about the future in such a positive light that I never expected you girls to lose either of us for many decades. But here we are. I can’t bring myself to admit this out loud, which is why I have it written here, and forgive me if I don’t show it to you for many years. But your mother was pregnant when she died. She believed that this next one was going to be a boy. We were planning to name him Samuel Terren, but now he will never exist. _

Terren… why does that sound familiar? I feel a pinch in my Death Vow like a reminder as I remember Jex said that was the only Meadows child who survived Xanvalus. Did Mom know his name? I doubt it’s a coincidence considering how unusual the name is, but how did Mom know that, then?

_ Today was rough, but we will have to push on to make things better. I will try my best in any way to make things seem normal again, but I know you two are smart enough to know things will never be normal. So I should be honest, it looks like we will only have each other in the coming years. Your mother never wanted you to know this, but her own mother died when she was eleven. It's true that her father passed away when she was sixteen, but she didn't want you to know just how much she had lost at a young age. She didn’t want you to expect the same would happen to you, and it breaks my heart that it did. And just like her life changed, so has ours, forever. All I can say is that I hope we can become stronger through this. _

I always wondered why I never met Mom's mother. She always said she couldn't visit because she was sick. But in reality, she was never even alive within my lifetime. I don’t know how I feel about that, the blatant lie to protect my fragile innocence. I can’t summon the will to be angry about it; I only feel another spot of emptiness as that faint hope for another family member vanishes.

The entry ends and I turn to the next page to see a familiar date at the top. The handwriting is shakier than before, and I realize the day he wrote this was long after he started drinking, in fact, it’s  _ four years _ after his original entry. As familiar as it seems, I can’t place what happened that day until I read the text.

_ Krista, there is no excuse for what I’ve done. I know I have become a terrible person, but I never would have believed I was capable of something this evil. I felt like I wasn’t even there when I cracked that whip; I couldn’t see you, I couldn’t see anything.  _

_ I helped Mable clean you up. I’m sure you won’t remember how much you tried to pull away from us, how you used the remaining strength in your voice to scream when I pressed a towel into your back to soak up the blood. I can’t justify why I did it, I can only let you know that I tried to help. It doesn’t excuse me, but I genuinely hope that you will heal. I tried to place those strips of skin back where they belonged, but only time will tell how your body will fix itself. I admire your sacrifice for Mable. You have always cared for her ever since I couldn’t, but you will get yourself killed if she doesn’t take a punishment. _

_ Krista, I don’t know what this is, but I feel some sort of… demon inside me. It’s a voice, a voice telling me to hurt you, to take advantage of your love for Mable. I think it’s getting stronger every day. It’s not the alcohol, I don’t think it’s a hallucination, but it is something that told me to get that whip tonight. You may never read this, but know that I’m trying to fight, trying to remember my love for you. But it’s getting harder every day. I don’t know how much longer this will last. _

My eyes widen at his words. Dad knew… he  _ knew  _ about Chara. He tried to fight her, but he was no match for Determination. The title of the next page makes my throat dry, January 20th of last year.

_ I can never be forgiven for what I am about to do. I do not expect mercy from anyone when death finally takes me. Above all, I hope you will hate me forever, Krista. I can’t fight any longer. The demon is ready to end everything. It wants both of you to die, but I will not allow it. There is an off-chance that Mable could live, but I doubt it. That is why I address this to you, Krista. I can only hope you will be strong enough. I will purposely give you a window, a chance to take the gun and kill me instead of letting me kill you. Please take it, please survive. _

_ I will lock this box with a blood magic spell, one that I read in one of your mother’s magic books. It will only open to either you or Mable. If you search the house long enough, you will find the book with this spell, but probably not. I know magic is a difficult concept to accept, but I have believed in it ever since your mother died. She and I never used it, but I started experimenting with some concepts and found some of it is real. The demon did not like that, which is why this spell is the only real magic I hope to accomplish. Since Mable is more cooperative than you, I will take some of her blood to complete it. _

_ Krista, I cannot tell you what to do if you survive, but know that I hope you find only the best in life. I know you won’t remember me as the loving father you once knew. I know I have failed you and Mable countless times. You both deserved better. You deserved so much more. None of it is fair. But I do love you, my little gem. Your mother would be proud of your perseverance, and so am I. _

_ Goodbye, my precious girl. _

I dig my teeth into my lip as tears pour down my face, but they’re not tears of sorrow as much as they are tears of  _ anger _ . Dad knew… he  _ knew _ . He knew Chara was controlling him, yet he had moments of control and didn’t let us leave. He had enough time to focus and write  _ this  _ instead of getting us out that morning. He had enough strength to use magic on that lock, but not enough to fight back. Why? Why wasn’t he strong enough? Why couldn’t he stand up for his family? Why was this all he could do?

I’ve already read the entire folder, but I look over his words again and again, furious with his weakness. I want to scream at him, tell him he should have been better. Above all, I hate the certainty of Mable’s death. She never had a chance. He wasn’t strong enough to keep Chara from making me kill her, but he was enough to give  _ me  _ a chance to live? Mable should have survived. Why was it  _ me _ ? Why did he fight for me instead of  _ her _ ?

I shut the folder and put it at the bottom of the pile, picking up the remaining green one. Inside, I find the two entries Mom wrote on Mable’s birthdays in the left pocket, and a note from Dad on the right.

_ Mable, _

_ If by some chance you survive, know that I am proud of you. You have taken after me more than Krista, and that’s not a bad thing. You’re my darling flower, quiet but confident in all that you do, always searching for the next dream. You’re sweet and kind, never breaking under pressure despite the pain the world throws at you. Nothing has ever been fair in your life, and I am more than grateful that you had your sister to get you this far. Now, if you are reading this in a future without your family, know that we love you beyond words. _

Clearly he didn’t love her  _ enough _ . I shut the folder and put it back, realizing I’m back where I started. I know there’s the scrapbook and the blanket to look at, but I’m so worn out that I’m not even curious to see what’s left. I just want to ignore it all, forget the complications of what Dad did and didn’t know. What he could and couldn’t do.

I place the box back on the ground and stare out the window, noticing faint drops of rain beginning to dot the glass. I once again wonder why so many horrible things happened, why  _ they  _ died and I’m still here.

The easiest explanation would be because we were all slaves to Chara’s wishes. But that sounds like an excuse, as if none of us had a choice. Dad did, and he never took a chance to defy her… or did he? Isn’t this box a defiance in and of itself? His chance to let me live? It took my actions to survive, but I wouldn’t have had the chance to grab that gun if he hadn’t given it to me. Am I being harsher than I should? Should I be thanking Dad instead of writing him off as a weak coward?

I press my fingers against my damp eyes and feel a brush of warmth against my arm, looking down to see Cody’s wide eyes.

“Hey puppy,” I whisper, stroking his fur. He was giving me space to read, but now that I’m truly breaking down, he’s swooping in for comfort.

I give him a few more pets before crawling under the covers, hearing the rain pick up outside. I want to think my Dad would have done more if he could have. Maybe he was worried Chara would take over and kill us immediately if he tried to get us out. Maybe I’m ignoring other factors that hindered him from doing any more than he did.

I can’t think of what they are as I close my exhausted eyes and slip away from reality.


	11. Inevitable

A deep, burning pain pierces through the darkness, dragging me up the levels of sleep and into consciousness as my hand immediately clasps my right arm. I open my mouth in a silent scream as I lean forward and tuck my arm against my chest, trying to subdue the overwhelming pain.

 _“Get up,”_ Lissaria hisses in my mind.

 _“What the hell do you want?”_ I snap back.

_“Your grandfather is heading for the mountain; I suggest you stop him before he accomplishes his goal.”_

_“And what’s that?”_

_“I am not entirely sure, but he has magic so I would guess it is nefarious.”_

I look outside to see the rain has picked up, but not as bad as a storm. I glance at the clock and see it’s 1:52 in the morning. Isn’t that the best time for him to sneak out and do whatever he wants?

I climb out of bed and shove my sneakers on, cringing at the thought that they’re going to be soaked in seconds. Cody’s head perks up and I shove a finger to my lips, hoping he doesn’t alert the boys. His eyes squint in suspicion as I sneak out the room and head towards the elevator.

Maybe I’m trusting Lissaria too blindly, maybe I’m being stupid. But I’d rather yell at her for waking me up than allow _him_ to do whatever he wants.

I make it to the lobby and out the doors, taking a left and walking into the valley. The rain falls at a mild pace, dotting my sweatshirt and turning it a darker shade of pink, but I can tell it’s getting close to a real storm. I climb over a few short hills until I spot him in the distance, taking his sweet time as he heads towards the mountain. I have no idea what he’ll hope to accomplish, but I pick up the pace, hoping the rain will disguise my footsteps.

Unfortunately, I don’t consider the idea that he might sense SOULs when he suddenly whips around and throws a flash of cyan at me. I duck and jump back up to my feet in a second, forming a shield of purple light.

Thunder finally booms in the distance as Remus narrows his eyes.

“Have you been keeping tabs on me?” he smirks as the raindrops increase.

“What the hell do you plan to do?” I snap, walking closer in a circular direction, forcing him to stay back as I block his path to the mountain.

“What my ancestor should have done: destroyed the entire monster race before they caused any more problems. Since the mountain is where their home begins, it is where I will begin my task to kill them all,” he snarls.

“Why? Why do you hate them?” I genuinely ask.

He smirks, “They are _inferior_ to us. They take up resources and try to morph us into monsters of a different kind. They have murdered human children and defied the wishes of human rulers. They are selfish and only seek to achieve the goals they want for _themselves_ , not all living creatures. Would you like me to go on, naïve Perseverant?”

“You’re forgetting the part that we are just like them, just as selfish and violent.”

“But we are not as weak, which makes them nothing more than fragile versions of us, completely useless.”

“That’s so short-sighted; all you’re doing is clinging to what you _think_ Xanvalus believed. I think you just want excuses to hate them, loose reasons to keep the world the way you want it because you were taught to believe it’s the only right way to think.”

“Spoken by a Meadows girl,” he smirks, forming a long pole of cyan light. “I’ll show you where belief in unattainable peace will get you.”

“You would kill your own granddaughter?” I innocently ask, changing my shield into a sword.

“You are _not_ my granddaughter,” he snarls. “You’re a _monster_.”

Then he lunges to attack and I block the blow, pushing against the force of his magic and realizing how similar yet foreign it feels. Flowey’s was always savage power, fueled by anger and pure Determination. Remus on the other hand, seems to have more… finesse to his abilities. The human strength to it, the Patience he has, is foreign, but the undertones of anger remind me of Flowey, remind me of _Chara_. No matter what kind of magic it is, the strength of anger and hatred will always be the same. Good thing I’m used to it.

I shove him back, but this time he remains on his feet despite the puddles forming in the valley’s minor dips. The rain falls in full force now, and I’m completely soaked as the water pours into my eyes. Lightning flashes in the corner of my eye, and I grit my teeth as a chill runs through me.

Remus smirks, “Is that all you have? I would expect the monsters’ best warrior to be better.”

He lunges again, this time with more insistence, and I reply with a hit of equal force.

“Was that just a sympathy act earlier today?” I ask, noticing how much stronger he seems.

Remus smirks, “Maybe. Maybe it was a test.”

He shoves me back and I feel my feet get pulled out from under me. My back slams into the ground, and I see a flash of cyan light. On instinct, I throw out a wave of magic and hear a thud. I shoot up to my feet and see him on his back, wincing as he tries to get up.

“Stay down,” I hiss, pointing my sword at him.

He smirks and jumps up, pressing his magic against my sudden defenses. Even though he’s stronger than earlier… I know I am better as I push back, forcing him to yield a step. His eyes squint with sudden worry and he twists his pole of magic to his left before spinning it completely and cutting into my right arm.

I gasp and spear a force of magic at him, throwing him onto the ground once more. A roar suddenly shakes the ground as I look back at the mountain, seeing the silhouette of a dragon with her wings spread, ready to take flight. I turn my attention to my arm and see blood pouring from it at an unnatural rate, knowing he cut deep into my Vow.

“I knew it,” Remus smirks, getting to his feet. “You have a debt on your head, don’t you? This was easier than I thought.”

I grit my teeth and form an ax, fed up with his taunts. I don’t think as I lunge for the attack, cutting clean through his pole of defense and burying it in his left shoulder. He screams as I hear giant wings flap towards me. I shove him back as I turn to the red dragon and point a finger at her.

“Not intentional!” I scream and she slows down, walking towards me with a smirk on her face.

“Of course, Your Majesty,” she says. “I see who caused it.”

“You’re a Magic Whisperer, aren’t you?” Remus snarls from the ground, clutching the gash in his shoulder.

“Yes I am, prince of tradition,” Lissaria smirks.

“Then you know it is your duty to murder that _bitch_!” he yells.

“I’m afraid I cannot, _Your Highness_ ,” she smirks, letting the lower title sink in.

He scoffs, “You’re really going to defend _her_?”

“I happen to enjoy her company. It’s nice to have a connection with a human every now and then. Why end it so soon?”

“Whisperers are supposed to be neutral,” he growls, struggling to stand up.

“We are, which means I do not have to listen to you. I simply choose to ignore this false alarm,” Lissaria smirks, turning to walk back to the mountain. “Clean up that wound, Krista. I don’t want to taste your sweet blood again just yet.”

Then she flies back to the top of the mountain as lightning strikes it, making me jump.

“You’re still nothing more than a frightened child,” Remus hisses behind me, and I turn to see he’s finally getting to his feet. “Which means, I’ll just have to end you myself!”

He lifts a pole of cyan that I easily block and ram my shoulder into his chest, knocking him back onto the ground.

“It’s like I said,” I lift my chin. “Stay _down_.”

A flash of orange flies past my head and I leap to the side, looking up to see Annette marching towards me.

“You think you’re better, you little bitch?” she yells over the rain.

I form a sword and narrow my eyes on her, “You want to make this your fight, too?”

“Gladly,” she hisses, forming an orange knife when she suddenly stops in her tracks, gasping with pain.

I stiffen with unsurety when a dark voice chuckles behind her, “Then it’s _mine_ , too.”

Annette falls to her knees and Sans stands behind her, the hood of his jacket concealing his face.

“Really?” I ask him, dropping my sword.

“Yes, _really_ ,” he snaps. “Now let’s go.”

I glare down at my grandparents, wondering what they might try to do.

 _“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll keep an eye on them now that I have your clearance for the next two hours,”_ Lissaria chuckles in my head, emphasizing how she only got me up because she was listening to _my_ command.

 _“Fine,”_ I reply, walking around my grandparents to my brother’s side.

“You think this is over?” Remus snaps, pressing a hand against his bleeding shoulder.

I look down at him, “Not at all, but I would hope it will make you rethink your choices.”

He tries to say a comeback, but nothing comes to mind and I smirk, turning to head back to the city. Sans and I don’t talk until we’re well out of earshot, and even then, he waits until another boom of thunder echoes across the valley.

“So this is a thunderstorm,” he says.

“Yep,” is all I say as I debate asking whether Cody got him up or if he left on his own.

“I wish I could have seen one under nicer circumstances,” he mutters.

“Was it Cody?” I ask, dismissing his slanted insult.

“Yep.”

“Lissaria is quite demanding,” is my only reply.

“And I’m getting really sick of you sneaking off,” he snaps, finally stopping to face me.

“I’ve told you where I’m going most of the time,” I argue.

“And even then, I hate it because I can’t predict what’s going to happen to you. I don’t know this world, Krista. I don’t know what kinds of dangers lurk around the corners, yet you have the winning argument because you’re a human. Do you know how much I’m on edge? You keep disappearing for hours at a time, and I’m stuck here trying to imagine what happened. You can call me overprotective all you want, but it’s because I think I’ve got pretty good reasons to believe someone’s going to try to kill you.”

“To be fair, the Underground is arguably more dangerous,” I say, as if the reason will help my case.

Sans shakes his head, “Don’t throw out loose reasons to justify it. I know you read whatever your dad left you in that box, but I didn’t do anything because I know you wanted to read that alone. But when you took off not long after reading that… I got worried.”

I sigh and touch my right arm without thinking, wincing when a sting of pain ripples through my entire Vow. Damn, I forgot about that.

“Are you _serious_?” Sans hisses, grabbing my wrist and forcing me to lift my arm. “Did he do that?”

I nod, staring at my entire sleeve stained with blood. I didn’t realize how much it hurt after such an adrenaline rush, and now, I notice I’m a little light-headed.

Sans starts to use his magic and I rip my arm away, knowing the Vow will hurt him the second he gets near it.

He squints in anger, “Krista, let me heal it.”

“No, I can wrap it just fine.”

Even though he’s angry, he listens and shortcuts us into our hotel room. I walk into the bathroom to hold my arm over the sink, letting the water and blood drip into it. I’m completely soaked from the rain, and I pull off my heavy sweatshirt, dropping it in the sink. Blood pours down my arm and soaks into the shirt, but I don’t know how to stop it.

“I guess this is all we can do if you’re going to be so stubborn,” Sans says, grabbing a towel off a nearby rack.

“I’m not going to damage one of their towels,” I argue, remembering who will have to pay for it.

He sighs, “Then what are you going to do?”

I squint in thought for only a second before opening the cabinet under the sink and find what I’m looking for.

“Here, this should have gauze in it,” I say, pulling out a first-aid kit.

I open it and only have to dig past a few items to find a roll of gauze that I hand to him. I use the left sleeve of my sweatshirt to clean off as much blood as possible before holding my arm out for him to wrap.

“You make it look like it doesn’t even hurt,” he mumbles, making sure it’s wrapped just tight enough to slow down the bleeding.

“Of course it hurts; I’m not trying to hide that,” I say as he wraps it more times than I would consider necessary before sticking a piece of medical tape against the end of the bandage.

“At least you made him hurt, too,” Sans says, putting everything back in the kit and shoving it under the sink.

“What did you do to her?” I ask, remembering how his magic judges people.

“I used some blue magic; it hurt her much more than I expected. Your grandparents have each gained LOVE… and a little EXP.”

“How do you think that happened?”

He shrugs, “I’m not sure, which makes me more uneasy about what they’re here to do.”

“Let’s hope we can get more government officials on our side before they accomplish their goal.”

He raises an eye socket, “Are you going to be okay with that tomorrow?”

I bite my lip, “I don’t think they’ll let you come along. I really do feel bad that you guys can’t do more, but like Papyrus said, what more can we do beyond what Evelynn wants?”

“We’ll figure it out as we go; things should get easier.”

I don’t like the uncertainty of _should_.

***

I get up on my own at 6:30, efficiently cleaning my wound and taking a shower within thirty minutes. Once again, I don’t like that I don’t have anything fancy or official to wear, so I just put on my jeans and a dark green shirt with light blue flowers on it. I don’t grab my coat since it’s not too cold outside, and I don’t want to carry it around when meeting the president. I want to seem as professional as possible, however little I can do to accomplish that.

I barely eat anything at breakfast, despite how much the boys try to coax me. The most I can get down is half a bowl of cereal before I back away and take tiny sips of water. I won’t deny that I’m very nervous; I don’t want to jeopardize our chances at convincing the most powerful man in the nation to listen to the monsters’ humble requests. I just don’t know what to say to convince him.

Eight o’clock comes all too soon, and Evelynn strides into the lobby, looking as professional as ever in a dark blue blouse and black slacks. As much as I expect her to, she doesn’t narrow her eyes at how unceremonious Frisk and I look. She merely waves a finger and we follow her outside into one of her SUVs. Asgore and Toriel take another one, but apparently they’re not supposed to meet with the president until after Frisk and I do. It’s a great way to make me even more nervous.

We arrive at City Hall to once again see dozens of reporters gathered outside, all clamoring with questions that Evelynn ignores as we walk into the building. Inside, the mayor leads us past her office and into the room after it, one much larger and more uninviting. There’s a long table turned horizontally in the center meant for what I guess are conference meetings and four official-looking guards posted in each corner of the room. Directly across from us, standing to look out the small window on the back wall, is the president of the nation.

He looks exactly as I remember seeing him on TV a couple years ago, about in his mid-fifties with raven black hair tinted silver at his temples. He wears a black suit with a deep orange tie, and he narrows his royal blue eyes on us.

“Mr. President,” Evelynn says in greeting.

“Mayor Ross,” he says back. “Thank you for agreeing to this meeting.”

He takes a seat at the table and gestures for us to do the same. Only, there are two chairs across from him, not three. I look to Evelynn and she merely nods in encouragement before turning to leave the room and shutting the door.

“You two girls have been oddly quiet about your experiences with the monsters, let’s say we change that,” the president says.

I look back at him and stiffen to see his eyes burning into me. He’s suspicious, which means I need to calculate my every move.

“A lot has happened within the past two days; we’ve needed time to collect our thoughts,” I say, taking a seat.

Frisk follows my lead and cautiously sits to my right, her eyes glued to the figure of power in front of her.

“Do you have them gathered, now?” he asks, the dark undertones in his voice reminding me of a viper preparing to strike.

“What would you like to know?” I ask, folding my fingers together and placing them on the table.

“Do you believe the monsters will be a valuable addition to our nation’s economy?” he asks, the weight of the question surprising me.

I swallow the lump in my throat, “Yes sir, I do. They have many alternatives to our methods of production that could be valuable in increasing our resources and decreasing the amount that we waste.”

“And have you personally seen these methods?”

“Yes sir, they have found ways to produce trees and electricity in a harsh environment with the help of magic.”

The gaze he weighs on me makes me wish, for the only time in my life, that Gaster was here instead of me. I can say with full confidence that the Royal Scientist would give him a hell of a time in disregarding the clear benefits of allowing monsters to integrate into Surface life. The thought makes me realize that I’m going to have to think like the scientist for once. To shut down emotions and see the subject as nothing more than what benefits it could potentially reap.

“Magic,” the president mutters. “Of course such an easy, immediate problem-solver would be the key to everything.”

I open my mouth to argue when he stands up to look out the window again. “Miss Meadows, since I doubt you have ever cared about a political figure such as myself, let me tell you a little about my background. My mother was born and raised in Japan while my father’s ancestors had lived here for a few centuries with no clear records beyond that. My parents met in college when my father studied abroad, and he learned in his time there that Japan has many legends that are told as if they’re true. However, most young people brush them off as nothing more than ghost stories. In our modern age, many of those legends are now considered to be cautionary tales. All in all, though, those stories are still remembered and seen as part of tradition. 

“Why do I bring this up? Because in _this_ country, legends are not as revered or remembered. Legends are brushed off as nothing more than fantasy stories, and those who believe even a piece of them are considered to be delusional. Now, you would think because of my background that I would be more susceptible to accepting the monsters. However, the stability of this country is _far_ more important to me than the freedom of creatures that the nation has been all-too ready to believe are mere fantasies. So convince me, Miss Meadows, why the use of magic and the integration of magical creatures is a wise decision.”

My blood feels like it has cooled to slush as I stare at him, unable to think of anything I could say that would be enough. I’m just a kid with nothing but a shambled homeschool education. How can I change the mind of a man with a Master’s degree and years of dealing with the functions of this country?

“Maybe magic really is the too-good-to-be-true, fix-your-problems-quick outlet that it seems to be,” Frisk murmurs, lifting her head to make eye contact with him. “But it is far more capable of changing this country for the better than anything you could do on your own.”

“Is that so, Miss Ebott?” he asks, taking a seat once again. “Then are you prepared for the backlash that will sweep this nation when hundreds of people go out of business? Are you looking forward to the violence and crime that will undoubtedly arise when people decide that they don’t like sharing their streets with such unnatural looking creatures? I can already tell you that taxpayers will lose thousands of dollars since the government will struggle to recoup the costs of even making this transition possible. Will it be worth it?”

“Yes,” Frisk boldly says, “because your citizens will have new methods of renewable energy _and_ renewable resources. We can cut down on our damages to the environment. We can decrease the number of people starving in the streets. We can increase the number of possible jobs with the sheer amount of research and necessary labor needed to transition our society. If you wanted the chance of a lifetime to seal your name as the most influential president of the century, this is it.”

I stare at her in surprise, wondering if this is the most she’s said in the past day and a half. For someone so shy and quiet, I’m amazed she found the will to say something so bold to the most powerful person in the nation.

The president smirks, “You really see more benefits than detriments?”

“I do, and if you’re willing to give us a chance, I promise this will be worth it,” Frisk says.

Something seems to glitter in Krenner’s eyes, making them look a slightly lighter shade of blue. “Alright, Miss Ebott, you have me convinced to offer a chance. I will see what the King of the Monsters has to say and if it coincides with your rationale. Miss Meadows, you lived with the monsters for a year. Do you find Miss Ebott’s hopes to be feasible?”

“I do,” is all I can say.

He nods, unsurprised that I would agree. “Is there anything else you girls wanted to convince me of?”

“Yes,” I say as Frisk shakes her head.

“And what would that be, Miss Meadows?” he asks, noting Frisk’s surprise.

“I know this nation possesses many territories, specifically small islands that are no more than a few acres in the Atlantic Ocean.” 

“What of them?”

“There are five creatures waiting for freedom in the Underground. They are not monsters, they are called Magic Whisperers. They wish to live on one of those islands, isolated from any society, where they can live out the rest of their lives.”

He raises an eyebrow, “And why would I devote time and resources to transporting said creatures? What if I find that land to be of some use for far more important situations?”

“I wouldn’t count on that considering these creatures can do more damage to this nation than any nuclear bomb.”

“Really?” he asks in a patronizing tone, as if I’m a child telling an exaggerated story about an insignificant event.

I shove my sleeve up and rest my elbow on the table, glad that the bleeding stopped this morning so he can see my Death Vow. It looks worse than usual because of the torn, barely healed wound on top of the main gash. Hopefully it can help my case.

“This is only a basic example of what they’re capable of. They can read minds, force people to act against their wills, and self-heal before you can get a second bullet in them. They’ve given me until summer to get them their island, and if I do not meet that deadline, they will destroy the entire country, starting with this city.”

He’s unable to tear his eyes away from the Vow so I shove my sleeve down and fold my right arm on top of my left.

“I understand that dealing with the monsters is pressing enough, but these creatures should be your first priority when it comes to the security of this nation. Monsters are at risk just as much as humans if the Whisperers don’t get what they want.”

Of course, I won’t tell him, I won’t tell _anyone_ that this whole problem is simply because of a hasty deal I made with Jex. But then again, wouldn’t they just take what they wanted if they didn’t have my command holding them back? 

“I see,” the president finally says. “However, you must understand that this is difficult to _believe_.”

“Would you like to meet them?” I ask.

He raises an eyebrow, “You mean visit the Underground?”

“Don’t you want to see and understand the full scope of the situation?”

The president stands up, “Very well then, Miss Meadows, I will agree to that. However, I expect you and Miss Ebott to be highly involved in this upcoming transition. If problems arrive, I expect you two to offer valuable solutions.”

“Sir, isn’t that a little too much to ask?” Frisk cautiously says, ducking back into her shell at the weight of such enormous responsibilities.

“No, I do not believe it is. Frankly, it does not matter to me that you are twelve and sixteen years old with no homes and no families. I have seen far more tragic lives that have persevered to accomplish seemingly impossible tasks. I understand how cold-hearted this may seem, but when it comes to leading a nation, there can be no room for rest or cowardice. Do what you want, but keep in mind how many are depending on you. Experiences such as yours are held by no other human, which is what makes you valuable, I suggest you take advantage of that.”

He motions for us to leave the room and we get up, backing away and stepping out into the hall. I make sure to shut the door, if only to get away from the unwavering gaze of those depthless, calculating eyes. 

Asgore and Toriel wait by the windows, their faces tight with uncertainty. Evelynn stands next to them with her arms crossed, seemingly frustrated.

“Are you alright, my child?” Toriel asks as Frisk wraps her arms around her.

“It’s so much, Mom,” Frisk whimpers as Toriel shushes her.

“President Krenner is not a kind man, he is a realistic one,” Evelynn says. “That’s what got him elected.”

“That doesn’t sound like it will help our case,” Asgore says.

“Probably not, but he is also open to new ideas. He actually enjoys hearing unpopular opinions. If the opposing side makes enough sense and he sees more potential benefits than problems, he will eventually agree. Let’s hope you two were convincing enough,” Evelynn says, weighing a hopeful gaze on me.

“You will have to tell me,” I say as I hear the door open, and I turn to see the president wave the leaders forward.

“You two head back to the hotel; I’ll let a driver know you’ll be at the front of the building,” Evelynn murmurs to me as the three adults head into the room.

The door shuts behind them, and I turn to Frisk to see her red eyes filled with tears.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t too bad,” I say, reaching for her.

Frisk steps back, “He said he didn’t care about our families.”

“I’m honestly not surprised; you just can’t let words like that hurt you.”

“And he can get away with it because he’s the president,” she hisses.

“Frisk-”

“Do you know I went and saw my house yesterday?” she snaps.

“N- no, when was that?”

“When you and your ‘family’ went back to the Underground, _I_ saw my house closed off like a crime scene. I met a police officer there, and he took me to the morgue where their bodies were taken. I _saw_ my dead mom and brother. They said Brennon’s throat was slit and he had pushed Mom back with enough force that when she tried to catch her fall, she ended up stabbing herself through the chest. While everyone around me has been having a fairly good time, I’m sitting here suffering because none of you understand how it feels!”

“Frisk,” I say with measured calm, “do you really think I don’t know how it feels?” Her eyebrows furrow and I bite back my spike of anger. “I saw my dad and my sister when they were dead. I know exactly how it feels to see someone you love as a cold, empty shell. If you want to talk about it, I’m here to listen. I’m sorry that you don’t have a lot of time to grieve. If you want me to take on all those responsibilities, I will until you’re ready to share them.”

Frisk shakes her head, “No, they won’t allow that. No one cares about what we’ve been through.”

“And I don’t care what they think. I will give you the time you need to heal.”

Frisk looks at the ground, her hair shadowing her face as she shakes her head again. “We’re too good for these people. They don’t know what it’s like and yet they push us around like we’re garbage. We are _better_ than them, Krista.”

“And we can prove that if we face this _calmly_ ,” I emphasize.

Frisk smirks, “You have powerful magic, and you’re choosing to go along with _them_ ? Don’t you want to make them bow? Make them hurt as much as you have? Don’t you want to tell them that they _will_ listen because you are the one with the rightful command?”

“And who is ‘they’ in all of this?” I ask, worry creeping over me at her sudden insistence that we are better.

“Everyone else, the president, your human family, Flowey, all those people who ever pushed you down because they felt you weren’t good enough.”

“Well, those people have struggled, too,” I try to argue.

“But those people don’t have _our_ kind of power,” she insists, an eerie smile crossing her face.

“What do you mean?”

“Toriel told me, I know what I really am. Determination is the strongest trait in existence, and Perseverance is the second. Krista, we are so much better than all of them; we can shape the world the way we want it if you’ll teach me the magic you know. I’ll forgive you for keeping that information from me as payment.”

All the blood drains from my face. “Frisk, I don’t think you understand the magnitude of what you’re implying. We shouldn’t use our magic for anything but-”

“You really let them push you down that much? How have you even survived this long? I don’t know about you, but I am _done_ with getting shoved into the dirt. I am _done_ with living in fear. I’m going to make the world into something under _my_ control. The only thing hindering me is my lack of knowledge. So please, teach me, and I promise I’ll make sure none of us ever get pushed around again.”

I take a deep breath, afraid of the impact my response will make. “No.”

Her eyes darken, “Does that mean you can’t or you _won’t_?”

“You need time to clear your head, and after you think it through, you’ll understand why we can’t use our magic against them. Brute force is not the way to change the world for the better.”

Frisk’s fingers curl into fists, and I swear I see wisps of red hiss around them. “I thought we were friends.”

“And I’m doing what a reasonable friend would do. I’m protecting you from yourself. Like I said, sit down, think it through, you’ll understand then.”

She takes a deep breath and lifts her head, walking towards the City Hall entrance. Any other person would probably see her as a child on the verge of a temper tantrum, but I don’t see it that way at all. I see what I’ve feared for months, the edge of desperation that the Determination human will fall over to satisfy Chara’s wishes. How can I pull her back from that? Have I made things worse?

I follow after her, unsure what to say. Frisk’s glare at what’s directly in front of her tells me she doesn’t want to hear anything I’ll say anyway. So we walk to the waiting SUV and climb in, silent all the way back to our floor in the hotel.

She walks to her door and I stop her with a hand on her shoulder. “Frisk, I know you’re angry, but don’t let that motivate you to make a bad decision.”

She smirks, “What makes you think you have good advice for me? Because you’re older? I don’t think so, _Perseverant_.”

She shrugs off my hand and steps into her room, slamming the door. I hear the door to my room open behind me, and I turn to see Papyrus’ concerned face. I bite my lip and head into the room, not saying anything until the door is shut and I’m standing by the window.

“She knows. She knows that Determination is the strongest trait,” I say, trying to settle my rising anxiety.

“How?” Sans asks, stepping out of the boys’ room.

“Toriel. I guess Frisk was really upset last night, and Toriel ended up explaining the strengths of the traits to her.”

“And you think she’s going to try something?” Papyrus asks.

“I don’t know… maybe?”

Sans doesn’t seem too shocked, in fact, it’s like he’s _relieved_.

“You were waiting for this, weren’t you?” I ask him.

He shrugs, “Well, I’m not surprised.”

“How can we stop her?” Papyrus asks.

I hold a hand out for the door. “If you want to talk to her, go ahead. I don’t know what to do beyond that.”

 _“I could help,”_ Lissaria purrs in my mind, and my hand immediately clamps down on my Death Vow.

“What?” Papyrus asks, and I look up at the ceiling in annoyance.

“This doesn’t concern a Magic Whisperer,” I say to Lissaria.

 _“Really? I’m sure my forte of controlling minds could be quite useful,”_ she chuckles.

“I get the sense that Frisk could be aware of a Whisperer in her head,” Sans says. “If she understands what she is.”

“Can you hear her?” I ask him, gesturing to my Vow.

He shakes his head, “But I’m sure I can guess that Lissaria wants to take charge.”

_“Your brother’s such a joy.”_

“I will go talk to her,” Papyrus says, heading out the door. “If I can get you two to stop bickering then I’m sure I can talk her out of making a bad decision.”

He shuts the door and Sans raises an eye socket. “Is our bickering that annoying?”

I roll my eyes and sit on the bed, finding Cody buried under the sheets a few feet away from me. “What kind of bad decision do you think she’ll make?” I ask, thinking of many even though my mind keeps going back to the one that seems to be the most obvious.

“I’m not gonna say it,” Sans says, putting his hands up as someone knocks on the door.

“What now?” I sigh, opening the door to see Ava and I jump back. “What are you doing here?”

She rolls her eyes, “I’m a stalker.”

“Not as good a one as I am,” Sans smirks, stepping up beside me to narrow his gaze on her. “It’s nice to officially meet you, _cousin_.”

“Right,” she says, clearly uncomfortable with looking at him as she looks back at me. “I just wanted to say that we’re leaving. Grandpa was severely injured last night from God knows what. He and Grandma said it was you, but I honestly think this place is making them a little crazy. Even if it was you, I’m pretty sure it was for a good reason. Aunt Marissa gives you her best wishes, and my dad formally apologizes. They figured it was best only I came since we don’t… hate each other anymore, or at least I hope you don’t. Dad and our grandparents already left, and Aunt Marissa is waiting downstairs. So… bye, I guess. Maybe I can visit under less stressful circumstances in a few months?”

I nod, “I think that’d be nice.”

I extend a hand for Ava to shake and she smirks, pushing it away to give me a hug. “I don’t care if you still don’t like me; I love ya like a little sister.”

I can’t help the expression of confusion that crosses my face, but I give her a hug back, one less tight than hers. I had on my coat when Matt hugged me so there was no way he would have been able to feel my scars, but I don’t have that layer of protection with Ava. Thankfully though, it’s not close enough that she would be able to feel the scars under my shirt. The fact that my hair acts as a cushion helps.

She lets go and steps back, giving me a wink. “Maybe next time I see you, you’ll have a boyfriend.” I roll my eyes and she giggles, turning to head down the hall. “See ya!”

She steps into the elevator and it closes, sending my cousin off for however long it will be until I see her again.

“She’s pretty invasive,” Sans says.

“And more girly than _I_ am,” I say, shutting the door.

“I think it’s a different kind of girly. Yours is about pretty stuff while hers is about drama and dating.”

“Well put,” I say, looking out the window as a hint of pain pinches the back of my head.

“So I’m guessing the president wasn’t as friendly and calm as Asgore?” Sans asks, turning on the TV.

“Not at all. He really rattled Frisk. He said he doesn’t care what we’ve been through because he’s seen others survive worse.”

“Do you think he’ll agree to help us?” Sans asks, seeming distracted.

“Maybe, I’m not sure yet,” I say, turning to see the president on the TV, giving a speech in front of City Hall. The text onscreen makes my heart skip a beat: _Monster Integration a Possibility_. Is Krenner really agreeing already?

“Looks like you convinced him,” Sans says with a smirk before wincing a bit as another spike of pain pinches the back of my head.

“You felt that, too?” I ask, terror slashing through me at what that could only mean.

“Looks like his compliance won’t matter, though,” Sans mutters, his face darkening with acceptance.

I can’t allow it. I head out the door and knock on Frisk’s, immediately hearing a yelp on the other side. 

“Frisk? Papyrus? Open the door; we need to talk,” I demand.

“No, we don’t!” Frisk screeches, her voice shaking with sorrow.

“Just open it or Papyrus will,” I snap.

“No, he won’t,” Frisk chokes.

What the hell?

Sans suddenly shoves me to the side and blasts the door open, his eyes nothing more than dark pits. Frisk screams and leaps to the side, revealing Papyrus standing by the window, a hand pressed against his chest.

“I didn’t mean it,” Frisk whimpers as Papyrus drops his hand to reveal a deep gash across his chest.

Sans is next to him in a split second, helping our brother stay on his feet while he presses a hand against the wound. Green healing magic swirls around his fingers, and I direct my attention to Frisk.

“What the hell did you do?” I demand, cornering her.

“I didn’t mean it! I just lost my temper and-” her eyes widen. “I’ll fix it, I know I can. I was trying to make things better, and he tried to stop me!”

“‘Make things better’ in what way?” I hiss, grabbing the collar of her shirt.

Her eyes flash a darker shade of red, more like blood than rubies as a sudden smirk contorts her face.

“Something I should have done the second I learned my family is dead.”

Deep, bone-cutting pain burns behind my eyes, and I scream as she shoves me back. I hit the ground and she grabs my chin, forcing me to look at her.

“Trust me, Krista, this is for the best. Remember that I’m doing this for all of us.”

Black spots fill my vision until her face disappears and the pain overwhelms me.


	12. Who To Blame?

A jolt like a shock of electricity snaps through my whole body, throwing me onto a hard surface and knocking the wind out of me. I gasp and push myself onto my knees, forcing my vision to focus in the dim light of wherever I am.

The first thing I see is the blue and purple carpet, and my head snaps to my right, spotting the snow-covered pine trees of Snowdin outside.

No, it’s not true. She  _ didn’t _ … but it makes total sense. Worst of all… I think this is  _ my  _ fault. All that progress, all those hopes and wishes are completely erased.

My fingers curl into fists and I force myself to my feet, staring out at the snow-covered path. Everything that happened is gone. No one will remember it, and I’m stuck her to wallow in my shame.

Why wasn’t I better? Why couldn’t I convince her? Of course it’s my fault, and now I’m paying the price. But who else is paying the price because of my failure?

I hear a door open upstairs and I turn to see Sans, his left eye glowing a light blue. The pure hopelessness on his face is what makes everything come crashing down and tears pinch my eyes.

“I am so, so sorry,” I whisper, guilt choking me as I realize he’s the one I failed the most. Sure, the Whisperers remember, but their freedom doesn’t matter to me as much as his does.

“It’s not like it was something we could have prevented. We knew it was gonna happen,” he mumbles, shortcutting down to me.

“But it was  _ my  _ fault,” I argue, still not really believing the blame is all on Frisk.

He squints in anger, “Really? Did you kill her family? Did you insult the pain she’s been through? No, many things pushed her to the edge, and it wasn’t wrong of you to keep her in the dark on what she’s capable of. Our only focus now is to help her reach some form of closure so she doesn’t Reset again.”

“You don’t think this is something we could have prevented?” I ask, baffled that he could be so nonchalant about this.

“I don’t, but now that it’s happened, we do everything we can to make her see why staying on the Surface will be worth it.”

I bite my lip and look outside, knowing we have some time until she makes it out of the Ruins. It’s a good thing I’m so miserably exhausted, but I don’t know if that’s because I didn’t get any sleep around the time she arrived or if it’s because of the sudden Reset.

“We’ll have to do it all over again,” I whisper, feeling the weight of that stress. Fighting Flowey, fighting Asriel, convincing Evelynn, dealing with my family, it’s all so much to do, and then there’s all the work beyond that.

I thread my fingers into my hair and press my palms against my temples. I should have seen this coming; hell, Jex and Lissaria were  _ hinting  _ at it. But I didn’t think, I was so stupid, as usual.

“It’s my fault just as much as it is yours,” Sans says, his eye finally dimming back to white.

“How?” I ask, genuinely confused.

He scoffs, “Come on, Krista. I’ve known just as much as you. I could have tried to prevent it, too. I’m kind of hoping you’ll realize just how much this is  _ my  _ fault.”

“I can’t blame you,” I say, unable to see what he could have done.

Sans shakes his head, “That’s really sweet, but seriously, you know I could have done something. Lissaria told me that it was a certainty Frisk would Reset, and I just accepted it. I didn’t try to fight like you did.”

I finally drop my hands and rub my eyes, still feeling sparks of pain behind them. “I guess it doesn’t matter now. You’re right; we need to focus on what we can control from here.”

“Starting with  _ you  _ getting sleep for once,” he demands, pointing to the couch.

“What makes you think I’m tired?” I ask, even though I’m not surprised how easily he can read me.

“Stop making excuses, we know there’s time until she shows up. If I remember correctly, you’ve had next to no sleep both in the time before she showed up and what was technically last night when your grandpa attacked you. Now come on, I’ll need you to be alert tomorrow.”

“And what are you going to do?” I ask, suspicious since the last time he did this, he met with Lissaria.

Sans rolls his eyes, “The same as you.  _ I’m  _ freaking exhausted, and even though I can tell you are, too, you’re too stubborn and angry to realize it.”

“You’re not going to sneak off?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Do I look like a guy in the mood to deal with a Whisperer?” he raises an eye socket, and I finally see the exhaustion weighing on him, the faint shadows under his eyes.

“No,” I sigh, stepping back to take a seat on the couch. “First thing in the morning, then?”

“Frisk will realize Resetting was a mistake,” he says, backing away.

“Even after what she did to Papyrus?”

He freezes, “I’m not sure what caused that; I’d like to think it was an accident, but I will admit that I wanted to hurt her in that moment. She at least deserves an interrogation for that.”

“You want her to know you remember Resets?”

“We’re in this together, and I am not going to pretend to be ignorant,” he says with finality, turning to walk up the steps. “Now get some sleep, I’m too tired to read you a story.”

I roll my eyes and pull my blanket over me, remembering I didn’t get the chance to look through the rest of that box. I’m sure there was nothing as important as what I read, but still, I can’t help but wonder…

***

I’m up with the brightened Ceiling Stars and ready to leave in ten minutes, pretending it’s just like any normal day. It’s difficult when Papyrus comes down, oblivious to all that happened that now only exists in the memories of a handful of people. But I act as if nothing has changed, only mentioning how excited I am to get paid today. 

Once he leaves, I turn to see Cody staring at me with a confused expression. Did he hear Sans and I talking last night? From his bed by the fireplace, there’s no telling if he was pretending to sleep or not.

“Yes, puppy?” I innocently ask, crouching down to pet him.

“Something’s different,” he squints, staring me down.

I sigh as if he shouldn’t know. “Yes, I lost my control over the Save point last night.”

“No,” he protests, pulling his head away from me and placing a paw against my leg. “I  _ feel  _ something different in your SOUL. What are you hiding?”

“Puppy-”

“Time was Reset, wasn’t it? We  _ lost  _ something, didn’t we?”

My stare confirms it for him and he steps back, growling a little. “Cody,” I say, sitting on the floor to reach him. I don’t know what to explain; he’s so perceptive, it’s as if he remembers.

He huffs a breath and lies down on the floor to lean against me, allowing me to stroke his fluffy fur despite his irritation. Maybe he can tell how badly I’m in need of a stress-reliever.

“I won’t ask any more. I’m just going to accept,” he tells me, leaning his head back to gaze at me with his brown eyes.

I’m about to argue when a door opens upstairs, and I look up to see Sans step out, wearing one of his black shirts instead of his white ones for once.

One look from Cody is all he needs to bring a smirk to his face. “Perceptive, pup.”

Cody snorts as I get up and grab my coat. “Let’s go, then.”

***

We walk to the other end of Snowdin in silence, not because we’re mad at each other, but because we’re stuck in our thoughts, trying to comprehend the past day. Even when we get to the final section of the path and stop a few feet away from the doors, we don’t speak. 

I don’t know what I’m going to say to Frisk, what I  _ could  _ say that would make her realize the importance of moving on. She’s hurting and Resetting was her way of lashing out, but I get the sense that she has plans for this new timeline. It makes it seem like the Reset was always intended. But was it intended on  _ her  _ behalf? 

I get the feeling that maybe I really should tell her about Chara… before it’s too late. She’s already done damage without knowing, would it really make things worse if she did?

“So how are we going to do this?” Sans asks, stretching his arms. “Interrogation, threatening, or pretending we’re all good?”

“A  _ mild  _ form of interrogation,” I say with a pointed look, “and maybe some confessing.”

He raises an eye socket, “You want to tell her about the other Determination?”

“I doubt it will make things worse than they already are,” I say, hoping I’m not in the wrong mindset.

“Or that could give  _ her  _ a better opportunity,” he suggests, not accusing me, just voicing the other possibility.

“We won’t know unless we say it. After all, Frisk has made poor choices  _ without  _ knowing.”

He stares at me for a bit before saying, “Remember that this will also be on me, then.”

“What are you saying?”

“I am agreeing that we should tell her, which means that whatever negative consequences come from this are also  _ my  _ fault.” I’m about to disagree when he points a finger, “Don’t argue.”

I sigh and look back at the door, wondering how much longer it will be. It wasn’t very long until she showed up last time. The thought makes a chill run through me at what could be holding her up. Maybe Toriel? She does see her as a mother now, after all.

“Any chance you could let me know what was in that box?” Sans suddenly asks, searching for a less heated conversation.

I take a deep breath. “My dad knew… he  _ knew  _ that Determination was controlling him, or well, he called her a demon.”

Sans shrugs, “It’s pretty much the same thing.”

“He was able to get little moments of control, that’s when he wrote those notes and put a blood magic spell on the lock.”

“So even if someone guessed the combination right, their blood wouldn’t be accepted to open it?”

“Right.”

Suspicion creeps into Sans’ tone, “So he was able to use that kind of magic, but nothing to fight back?”

“I don’t understand it, either.”

A chill breeze suddenly drifts by, and I throw my hood on, surprised how fast I had adjusted to the Surface’s warmth to be cold so easily. Or maybe I’m just chilled to the bone with apprehension.

“It was incredible to see it, at least once,” Sans says, his eyes drifting up to the ceiling. “I honestly don’t know if I like the sunshine or the thunderstorms more.”

“You’re going to see it again,” I insist.

His only reply is a shrug when I hear a rumble on the other side of the doors.

“Just like last time,” I say, crossing my arms in preparation.

“I wouldn’t think those two would fight.”

“Maybe Toriel is afraid Frisk will be killed, and she’s trying to force her to stay in the Ruins.”

Another rumble sounds and Cody leans against me, wary but fearless.

“A mother’s love, indeed,” Sans smirks, not buying my reasoning.

There are a few more rumbles until silence settles on the other side of the doors. We wait a few minutes and then Frisk’s head suddenly appears when a door cracks open.

We make no attempt to hide; we just stand and wait for her at the center of the path. She approaches us with confident steps, her head held high and her eyes observing as she stops a few feet away from us.

“So you remember everything, too?” she asks Sans.

“It’s more responsible than expecting her to remember everything for me,” he smirks, jutting a thumb in my direction.

Frisk settles her gaze on me, and I immediately recognize that her eyes are just a bit darker than before. They’re not as dark as they were when she Reset, but those rubies are looking more like the red of poison apples than the bright gems of Waterfall.

“Well, it’s good to know who I can trust,” Frisk says, a sweetness seeping into her voice that I immediately distrust.

“Frisk, there’s something I haven’t told you about what you are,” I cautiously say.

She smirks, “Clearly there are a  _ lot  _ of things you have refused to tell me, but I’ll listen.”

“There is a… force in the Underground that wants the power you are capable of, and it will eventually kill you for it if you keep coming back here.”

“Well, that sounds like a great excuse to teach me how to use my magic, but… oh wait, that would be too dangerous, wouldn’t it? You’re so much stronger than me already that I’m amazed this so-called force hasn’t tried to get you.”

“She has and I only escaped because she  _ allowed  _ it,” I suddenly snap, hating how little Frisk is taking this seriously. 

“Oh, so it’s a ‘she?’ Would you mind elaborating?” Frisk taps her chin as something glitters in her eyes.

“Let’s just say she’s the last thing you’ll ever want to encounter down here. She’s worse than even the Magic Whisperers,” Sans smoothly says.

“And how am I supposed to defend myself?” Frisk asks, tossing her hands up.

“By never Resetting again,” I insist.

She squints, “So you want the Barrier to be broken and for everything that happened in the last couple days to occur all over again?”

“Why was any of that so bad? We were already making progress,” I say.

She shakes her head, “But it all happened  _ their  _ way. We had to wait for them, we had to listen to them, and we had no say for when anything happened.”

“And that showed we were willing to cooperate.”

“It showed that we were willing to lie on the ground and let them walk all over us if it meant they would give us even a  _ shred  _ of hope.” Frisk shakes her head again, “I’m not going to let people take advantage of me anymore. Now that everyone I ever cared about or feared is gone, it’s time the old Frisk died, too. I will not back away. I will not be  _ weak _ . I know I have a power to make this world understand that I am a person  _ no one _ should ignore, and you can still help me.”

Her words remind me so much of myself, back in the lab when I decided to leave everything behind and find a new place in this world. The difference, though, is that I wanted to prove to  _ myself  _ that I could be better, not the world. I was still willing to admit my faults, recognize my weaknesses. I still held on to the people I loved and remembered the failures that eventually made me stronger.

Frisk seems all-too eager to throw away everything that ever made her duck her head in fear or hunch her shoulders with doubt. She wants to forget the person she was only days ago to force herself into becoming someone of power. She wants the strength to make everyone who opposes her think twice, all so she can get what  _ she  _ wants. And of course… she wants  _ me  _ to teach her.

As of right now, our goals are aligned in the sense of freeing the monsters, but what about a few years down the road? What if she changes her mind and the temptations of Determination become too great? Of course, maybe she  _ could  _ control it. Maybe without Chara to influence her, she’ll be alright. But there’s something in her red eyes, something that I wonder if it was ever there when they were brown… that tells me she can’t be trusted with that kind of power. She’s not ready for it. 

Like Wenzandrik, she’s too young to think of her limits. Sure, I’m young, and I have fallen into the will that power before and ended up hurting Asgore. But most of the time, it’s my own insecurities or fears holding me back. Like Lissaria suggested, I guess I truly haven’t tapped into the depths of my power, and no life-threatening situation has ever pushed me far enough to explore them. Maybe it’s good that I’m afraid to.

“Learning magic is different for everyone,” Sans suddenly lies, disrupting the thoughts that flash through my mind in seconds. “Even the foundations of magic can vary depending on the trait you have.”

“So you’re saying you won’t even  _ try  _ to help me?” Frisk asks him, venom coating her voice that immediately makes me want to shove her far away from my brother.

“How about this: when we get back to the Surface and have established good connections with the government, I’ll teach you some magic,” I say, hoping my tone sounds sincere enough to her.

“And how would those connections be established?” she arches an eyebrow in accusation.

“We are not threatening the humans into accepting the monsters. Hostility will get us nowhere.”

“Oh, but they can be hostile to us? They can insult our pain and force us to wait for when they’re ready to address  _ our  _ problems?” She smirks and steps around us, heading for the bridge. “You can hate my new methods, but I am going to deal with the humans  _ my  _ way. I’ll see you when the Barrier is broken.”

Neither of us speaks until she’s disappeared down the path and Sans says, “As understandable as it is, I don’t like this new mindset of hers.”

“It’s not going to work; she won’t be able to control the president. In fact, he might insult her even more if she thinks she can get him to respect her,” I say. 

“At least we got that Reset out of the way, now all we need to focus on is making sure she doesn’t do it again.”

“And I’m afraid that will only occur if we let her do things  _ her  _ way.”

“We shouldn’t have to. She’s still upset about her family, and as long as we show her that being reasonable is the best method, she’ll get better.”

I smirk, “Your optimism is endearing once again.”

“Of course it is,” Sans smiles before taking small steps down the path. “Now I’m going to head to the City because I miss Papyrus and we’re gonna end up there anyway. So… do you wanna come along or what are you gonna do?”

A faint memory from the first time Frisk showed up flickers in my mind, and I wave him ahead. “You go on; I’ll catch up with you later.”

“What are you doing?” he stops, analyzing my expression as if he’ll find the answers.

“I’m going to talk to Roman, see if he’s learned anything new about you-know-who, and I’ll be in the City in no time.”

“And that’s the only thing you’re going to do?” he asks, searching for the potential secrets he is right to be suspicious of.

“I promise,” I say with all the sincerity I have.

He only stares at me for a couple seconds, but it’s enough to communicate to me all the warnings he wants to say.

“Okay,” he finally says, trusting me. He points a finger at Cody, “You keep an eye on her.”

Cody barks in agreement, and I roll my eyes as Sans shortcuts away.

“You two are so paranoid,” I say, looking down at Cody as we start to walk down the path.

He makes a face as if to say,  _ “We have every reason to be.” _

“I guess that’s a good thing,” I admit as we head over the bridge.

Nothing seems amiss as we travel all the way back to town, greeting the handful of monsters we see like it’s any normal day. When we make it past Grillby’s and face the path down to the river, I pause to see Roman’s not there. Of course, it might have been dumb luck that I ran into him last time, but then again, it seemed pretty deliberate. Did Chara not capture him to gloat this time? Or did she do something worse?

I look towards the blizzard separating us from Waterfall and head through it, finally flipping my hood off when I make it to the other side. Cody shakes the snow off his fur and we walk into the muggy, misty air of Waterfall.

Roman is most likely to be somewhere in here, but where exactly would he be? I guess I could send a ripple of magic through the current, but would that disturb the… forces lurking in here? At least I don’t have to worry about a Magic Whisperer in these waters, but I don’t think that makes it any better.

I travel all the way to the Ponds, remembering this is where Undyne first killed Frisk. Neither of them are anywhere to be seen now, and I don’t hear anything beyond the echoes of water hitting stone and the distant whispers of Echo Flowers. I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or one I should fear.

The closest dock is across the gap controlled by the little yellow bird, and I walk to the water’s edge to get his attention.

“Oh, hi! Do you want to get across?” the bird asks, flying over to my side.

I nod and he takes Cody and I over, more than happy to do his unofficial job. I thank him before heading to the dock, wondering the whole time if I should just get it over with and send out a sense of magic to find Roman. But when I turn the corner, there he is, bent over and clutching his chest as if he can’t breathe.

I rush to his side and put a hand on his shoulder, about to ask what’s wrong when he jerks back, making the boat float a few feet away from the dock.

“Whoa, whoa, hey, what happened?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.

Roman gasps and keeps his head down, facing away from me. “I had a feeling you’d come here. You’re too curious to be afraid and too involved to run from it.”

He coughs as the boat floats back to the dock, and I reach forward again when he looks up at me, his eyes burning a fierce emerald green. “But you  _ should _ ,” he rasps.

“Roman, let me help you,” I say and he shakes his head.

“You should be more concerned about  _ yourself _ , Krista. As much as I’ve wanted to believe in you… it’s getting more difficult the stronger she gets. I can’t… I can’t do anything to fight her, and you… you don’t deserve the kind of hell she’s planning.”

He coughs again and collapses onto the boat, visibly shaking under the layers of his robe.

“Roman, what can I do for you?” I ask, crouching down and grasping the boat.

He wheezes a laugh, “It’ll pass eventually, she’s attacked me in similar ways before.”

“But not  _ this  _ bad,” I say, narrowing my eyes on him.

“No,  _ never  _ this bad,” he admits.

My grip tightens on the boat as he doubles over in pain once again, making me hate that I don’t have healing magic of my own.

“Where is she?”

He immediately shakes his head, “You  _ can’t  _ go back into Void; she’ll never let you escape.”

“Well, I can’t let her continue to do this to you.”

He barks out a single laugh, “She’s been doing this for centuries; I’ll survive.”

“But-”

“Krista?”

I look back to see Frisk standing in the hall between Gerson’s shop and the hall to the dock, her eyes wide. “What’s going on?” she cautiously asks.

Roman pushes his hood down to completely cover his face, and he stands up, returning to the silent neutrality of the mysterious River Person. I’m about to say something when he simply leaves, allowing the river to take him anywhere away from the Determination human.

_ “Krista?” _ Frisk asks again, firmer this time.

I look back at her and stand up, taking a deep breath as I think of the right words to say. “You wanted to know what force I’m referring to? Well, she’s capable of more than just pain.”

Frisk’s eyes narrow in question and I approach her, making sure she understands the weight of what I tell her as the truth finally comes out. “She murdered my mother when I was seven years old. She took control of my father and made him whip me within an inch of my life when I was eleven. And just last year, she made him force me to kill my sister. You want to talk about someone not caring about what you’ve been through? You want to talk about  _ facing  _ the person who took away everything you ever loved? It’s  _ you  _ who doesn’t know how it feels, Frisk Ebott. _ I _ know how it feels to be helpless. It was  _ my  _ finger that pulled the trigger that ended my sister’s life. It was  _ my  _ inaction that led to the deaths of four SOULs. And it was  _ my  _ cowardice that sent me running to the mountain. You think  _ you’re  _ sick of people walking all over you? You have no  _ idea  _ how much anger I carry, and yet I continue to lose no matter what little power I gain. So I suggest you think twice before getting smug about what you  _ think  _ you can be capable of. The powers of those much stronger will humble you in a second.”

She stares at me with wide eyes, struggling to find the right words. I merely step around her and take a right down the hall, into the dark room full of trees and a grassy path disrupted by clumps of mushrooms. I know Frisk follows me, but she doesn’t make any attempt to stop me until I’m next to the first tree to the left of the path.

“I’m sorry,” she says, her voice making me pause. “I haven’t been very sympathetic in light what you’ve been through, and I’m shocked that it was far more horrific than I thought.”

I shrug, “I’m good at hiding those secrets, so keep in mind that I only share them because I know they’re something you need to hear.”

“You mean I should still doubt myself only because you’ve never beaten that force?”

I turn around to face her, my anger flaring. “No, I’m saying you shouldn’t be so confident in abilities that you don’t even know if you have. Even then, having magic does not make people bow to you.”

“But you could make them,” she says, a subtle smirk creeping onto her face.

“Frisk, how many times am I going to have to tell you that we can’t convince people of anything with violence?”

“Until I try that method and it fails,” she replies, stepping around me to head down the path to my left.

“And when will that be?”

She stops, squinting a bit in contemplation. “I’m going to search for my magic when I fight Flowey, and then on the Surface,  _ I  _ am going to tell the humans what future they must learn to accept. If they oppose us, then I really am going to show them what they should fear to fight.”

“You’re using a lot of threats for someone who doesn’t know magic.”

She smirks, “I can see why you’re paranoid, but I am going to learn no matter what. I hope you’ll accept that when the time comes, and afterwards, maybe we’ll even have a sparring match.”

My throat tightens at the thought of seeing red magic thrown at my face and Frisk smiles. “It will make us both stronger, I promise you.”

Then she turns down the path and heads towards the hidden Temmie Village. I shake my head in disapproval, but I know it doesn’t matter. She’s determined, and it is going to make her unstoppable.

Cody whimpers and I look down to see his eyes filled with concern. “Come on,” I whisper and we head into the next room, the one filled with darkening lanterns.

Our time on the Surface was never meant to be long; it's as if the whole universe knew that to begin with. Once again, I think of that flower on my birthday, the one that demanded a sacrifice to make the effects of my wish  _ permanent _ . We can go to the Surface as many times as we want, but it will never last forever until that price is paid. But what, or more precisely  _ who _ , has to pay it? I refuse to go through the list of possible SOULs that snaps through my mind.

We make it around the path just fine, all the while I’m kicking the lanterns with more and more aggression. I feel like I’m stuck between the jaws of a dragon and the edge of a cliff. Either way, I’m going to lose no matter what I try to do. Not telling Frisk anything made her Reset, and telling her about Chara has only seemed to strengthen her resolve to learn magic, to be “better.”

I sigh as I reach the top of the path, to the extra bit of grass that leads up to nowhere. I still wonder where that goes every now and then, and I stare at the darkness the unfinished path leads to. The wall is rounded off, which clearly means it leads  _ somewhere _ . Probably a cave though, a deep place that Jex likes to hide in.

Cody suddenly whimpers and I look down at him only to see him take off in a sprint towards that darkness.

“Cody!” I yell as he vanishes. I don’t think, I form a globe of light and chase after him, trying to reach for his SOUL. But he’s too fast, in fact,  _ way  _ faster than he should be and so nimble he navigates the path ahead with ease. I get stuck as I encounter ledges that I nearly hit my head on, and I stop when the ground suddenly becomes slick with water. The pause forces me to catch my balance, and I eliminate my magic light in the process.

Damn it.  _ Damn it. _ Of course I didn’t think, and now… I look back to see complete and utter darkness behind me. I gaze up in search of any traces of Ceiling Stars. Nothing. The darkness makes me realize how silent it is. No sounds of water, no hints of wind.

I take a single step forward and hear a faint splash, my throat closing as the scent of blood drifts up to my nose.

“That trip to the Surface was quite short-lived. Did you beg Frisk to bring you back to me?”

I close my eyes as I exhale, trying to force that scent out of my body.

_ Remember that she can create illusions. None of this could be real. _

Chara giggles, “Oh, what a failure you are,  _ indeed _ . But don’t worry, it makes your attempts to succeed all the more endearing.”

“Where is Cody?” I ask flatly, not daring to create any light.

“He’s fine, didn’t you know I love animals, too? I would never hurt such a precious puppy.”

Something in her tone makes me form a globe of light, and I immediately regret it when the first thing I see are her eyes.  _ Those eyes _ , darker than Frisk’s and sparkling with the malice that only someone who knows centuries of torture can possess.

Chara stands in front of me in this narrow, stone-encased passageway, with nowhere to go but forward or back. She holds Cody in her arms, his body limp and his head tucked against her shoulder. She gently strokes his fur with a smirk, as if he is  _ her  _ puppy and I have been keeping him from her all this time. The amount of vicious hatred that tenses my muscles is almost enough to make me lunge for her. Thankfully, my common sense kicks in and reminds me that my anger could be exactly what she wants. So instead, I force myself to act as calmly as I can manage.

_ “Give him to me,” _ I whisper, a deadly, wicked command.

She smiles and I catch something out of the corner of my eye, something dark red on the wall that I can’t help but look at. Blood, oozing down the walls, its scent filling this tiny space.

“I’m sorry I keep showing up early, but I just can’t contain my excitement,” Chara smirks and I look down to see blood has risen up to my ankles. “But you still have time, right? I say  _ really  _ enjoy the sunlight because you won’t see it ever again after this time.”

“Chara, why do you even want to do this? Why can’t you just let go of the past?” I ask, panic beginning to creep up my spine.

“Don’t pretend that it’s possible. You can’t let go of your past, either. It is a part of us, and we either lie down and accept what we’ve become or fight to claim something  _ better _ . Unfortunately for all of you, sacrifices have to be made to get what I want. And since you’ve been such a stubborn pain all these years, I have to make sure the end of your life won’t be too quick. It’s the least you deserve.”

She smiles and holds out Cody. “But I am a gracious enough queen to give you your bits of joy back, if only so you can lose them under far more horrific circumstances.”

She drops him and I lunge forward, catching him, but falling right into her awaiting hand that she snares around my throat. I gasp as the light of my magic vanishes, leaving me in that silent darkness as her nails dig into the scars on the back of my neck.

With her other hand, Chara delicately brushes most of the hair away from my right ear and leans forward to whisper into it. “I know your daddy knew about me, but he was so,  _ so  _ weak it was laughable how much he tried to fight. You’re the same way, and now you’re trying to convince  _ Frisk  _ that she shouldn’t learn magic?”

Chara’s grip tightens and I can’t help the whimper that escapes my throat as I remember all the times she did this through my father. I can practically feel the smile on her lips as they hover near the few strands of hair still covering my ear. “No matter what you do, you’re playing her right into my hands.  _ I  _ already set the board and moved the pieces long before you were even aware of her. And now… I just need Frisk to make a  _ single  _ move for me to step in. I’ll let you guess what it is, but it’s something that helped me find  _ my  _ true potential. Determination girls need to stick together, after all, especially when annoying Perseverants get in our way.”

She tightens her grip one more time before letting me go, and I drop from my crouched position to my knees, holding Cody close. The dryness of the stone makes me place Cody on the ground without question, and I press my hands into the cool stone to keep myself up.

The air doesn’t smell like blood anymore, and I selfishly breathe it in with wheezy gasps, coughing a few times as the ghostly imprints of her fingers burn into my neck. I expect to feel her hit me while I’m down, but in the seconds that pass, it’s as if she was never here.

When I finally get my breath back, I form a sphere of light to find the path in front of and behind me to be completely empty. The walls only have a few trickles of water on them, but there is not a single trace of blood.

I take a few deep breaths to steady myself before getting to my feet and picking up Cody. He’s breathing normally; I guess that’s all that matters for now.

I head back the way I came, fighting to smother the undeniable terror spiking my heart rate. But I can’t help it as dread turns my blood to ice, and heat burns my throat where her palm pressed against my windpipe.

Chara’s influence on the physical world is getting stronger, but she still needs Frisk in order to become entirely present. I realize that as it feels like there isn’t any actual damage to my throat, but the sensation felt all too real because of whatever illusion magic she has. The problem for her is that illusions can’t  _ exactly  _ kill people, or at least I hope they can’t.

I also take note that she’s only shown up in Waterfall, which means her illusion power can only go so far. She has her limits, too, but I’m sure they will all vanish if she has the pure, raging Determination hiding in Frisk’s SOUL.

I make it out of the tunnel and step back into the dark room, following along the faintly glowing cyan grass before finding the last lantern in the corner. I kick it on and something yellow catches my eyes, making me jump back to look down at Flowey.

“Wow,  _ I’ve  _ never even gone down that tunnel. Would you care to tell what’s hiding in there?” he smugly asks.

_ “No,” _ I hiss, turning away from him and following along the stone wall to find the entrance to the next room.

I reach it and Flowey merely pops up in front of me. “You seem a little shaken. Did your puppy run off and you had to chase him into the darkness?”

_ “Get the hell away from me, Flowey,” _ I suddenly snarl, using far more venom than I intended to.

His smug expression goes slack as he reads something on my face and simply drops underground, obeying my order.

Cody whimpers and lifts his head in a daze, looking around for a few seconds before nearly leaping out of my arms.

“Whoa, puppy, you’re okay,” I tell him, rubbing his head.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Mama,” he whimpers in my head. “I don’t know why I felt that...  _ force  _ to run into that cave, and then I don’t remember anything after that.”

“Shh, you’re fine,” I whisper, placing him on the ground, stroking his fur the whole time.

“What happened?” he asks.

I bite my lip in hesitation for only a second before admitting in no more than a whisper, “Chara.”

His brown eyes widen, and I can tell he wants to say something but I shake my head. “I’m not going to tell them yet. Not with everything else going on.”

“When?”

“The moment we get to our hotel on the Surface.”

His face furrows in disbelief and I pick him up, unsure if he’ll even be able to walk after getting hit with Chara’s power. “I promise.”

Even though I get the sense he believes me, I’m sure he thinks I won’t give my brothers all the details. But at this point, I’m too shaken up to keep secrets. Despite how little good it will do for them, my brothers need to be warned that we’re running out of chances to ensure time continues onward. Because at this rate, it seems that we’re already locked into the certainty that Chara is going to get her way.


	13. The Changes That Matter

I make it to New Home City in a half hour, spotting no traces of Frisk along the way. By now, Cody’s able to walk next to me, albeit at a less cheerful pace than he usually does. I find my way to the largest restaurant in the City where Papyrus works as both a chef and a cooking show host. I feel a little guilty that I don’t visit him at work as often as I should, but then again, he’s so busy that it’s not like we’d have time to do anything without at least eight people demanding his attention.

The restaurant sits only about a block down from the castle, a tall structure built out of blue marble instead of white stone like the rest of the City. It’s accurately named  _ Sapphire Dishes & Cuisine _ or just known as  _ Sapphire’s _ to the “regulars.” Apparently a gray fox-like monster with blue eyes started it four hundred years ago, and now it’s considered the fanciest restaurant in the Underground. I don’t deny it. Even though I’ve only eaten at it once, it was probably one of the best meals of my life.

I walk in through the grand glass doors and immediately spot Sans to my left, sitting at a table in the corner by the window. His eyes watch me as if he was counting the seconds until I arrived, and I guess he saw me coming considering he has a direct view of the streets through the front window.

“Where’s Papyrus?” I ask, surprised to find the table empty of anything but a glass of ice water in front of him and a flower in a tiny vase at the center.

“In the kitchen, a bunch of newbies got confused trying to figure out how to cook a specific type of chicken and he had to help. It’s only been a couple minutes since he left.”

I take a seat across from him and Cody collapses on the floor, leaning against my boot. I look down at him in concern before looking up at my brother, his eye not missing the fear that undoubtedly crosses my face.

“That was a long meeting with Roman. He must have had a lot to say,” my brother says carefully.

The tables surrounding us are empty, thankfully, but he keeps his voice low, measured.

“Sort of,” is all I say, distracted by my concern for Cody. I look down at him again to see he’s already fallen asleep.

“What happened, Krista?” Sans asks, gently but deadly insistent.

“He was… upset,” I start, unsure how to explain without revealing everything just yet.

“And did he happen to choke you?” my brother asks, his eyes darkening.

My eyebrows furrow in shock, “What makes you think that?” 

“Don’t try to hide those bruises on your neck. They’re faint, but I see them. Now what happened?” he hisses, leaning forward.

I gently touch the sides of my neck, feeling whispers of pain when I lightly press them. I would have thought Chara couldn’t inflict actual damage with illusion magic. But maybe she’s strong enough to trick my body into thinking it’s injured? How else could bruises have formed so quickly? I don’t know, but it scares me even more to know that her reach has certainly extended beyond the Void.

“Chara,” I whisper and his eyes darken even more, not quite to black pits, but dim enough that he’s deadly serious. “She… took control of Cody, somehow and made him run into the caves in the lantern room. I didn’t think, I followed him, and she caught me.”

“What else did she do?” he asks, his voice even lower.

“She just made some threats and knocked Cody out, nothing insanely serious,” I try to downplay it.

“And yet she managed to choke you bad enough to cause  _ bruises _ .”

I shrug as a waitress approaches, a turquoise doe with apricot orange eyes in a royal blue uniform. I note how her eyes widen just the slightest bit when she sees me, but I act like I don’t notice it as she hands me a menu.

“My name’s Forest, I’ll be your waitress today. Do you know what kind of drink you’d like, Miss Krista?” she asks in a slightly shaky voice.

“Well, I’ll have to learn what high-class people drink first,” I try to joke, flipping to the back to see all the drinks listed. Most of them seem too expensive to even  _ consider  _ trying, and I opt for the cheapest besides water: raspberry lemonade.

“I’ll get that right away,” she says, swiftly turning and heading for the other side of the restaurant.

“You’d think she’s used to seeing ‘famous’ people,” I say, turning to my brother’s unamused face.

“Apparently she’s new. Her family’s from some isolated spot in Snowdin and they only moved into the City a couple months ago,” he says in a dull tone.

“Do you want to yell at me?” I ask, fed up with his distant mood.

“A little bit, yeah,” he admits. “But I know it won’t do anything, so I’ll just sit back and wait for our inevitable deaths.”

“You know I can’t allow that,” I insist, even as doubt trickles down my spine.

“But do you  _ really  _ think you can overcome her?” he asks. There’s no anger, no accusation in his voice, just blatant, brutal uncertainty. Because at this point, he has a right to doubt my abilities. He has a right to lack faith in the only force stupid enough to stand against Chara.

“No,” I say in the faintest whisper, feeling all the failure and defeat hit me before I even try. The bruises on my throat and the scars on my back seem to burn with triumph at my admission that I’m not good enough.

He sighs as Forest approaches and gently places a crystal glass filled with dark pink liquid in front of me. Three raspberries are stuck through the deep blue straw, and I give her a winning smile, surprised that it’s almost genuine.

“Thanks so much. I’m not ready to order yet; I’ll wait until Papyrus is done helping in the kitchen,” I say in a voice as sweet as lemonade.

Forest merely nods before backing away to help other customers. I turn to face my brother’s empty, hopeless stare as I pick up the fragile glass of lemonade.

“But a near-certainty of failure doesn’t mean I can’t go out in a final flash of amethyst butterflies,” I smirk, taking a sip of the tangy lemonade and my taste buds painfully awaken from the powerful flavor.

Something like guilt flickers in Sans’ eyes as he takes the tiniest sip of his water before saying, “Then I guess I will, too, but it probably won't be very dramatic.”

"Unless you have some tricks you're still hiding," I raise an eyebrow.

His only response is a faint smile.

***

I never pursue Frisk. Instead, I only see her when she shows up in the City when she “fights” Mettaton, answering all the questions I had last time as to what happened. She doesn’t use magic, but with some clever dodges and winning poses, she’s able to use a phone from Alphys to make impactful enough attacks to dismantle the robot. Afterwards, Papyrus meets her and the Determination human acts like she’s the people’s darling, greeting him as if he’s a fan of her.

Unlike my initial thoughts, I don’t fight Flowey again. Frisk goes off into the Throne Room, and I wait to be pulled into that dark hell, but nothing happens. I notice when time Resets to her Save point, but I never have to face that hellish creature Flowey became. Unfortunately, I can’t run from  _ Asriel _ . 

It’s the strangest feeling, knowing what’s going to happen before it even happens. The events play out the same as before, almost beat for beat aside from the differences in my sense of security in knowing. We’re back on the Surface even faster this time, staring at that orange and golden sunset.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it everyone?” Toriel asks, and I cringe at the familiar words.

What’s worse than the fact that none of them know we’ve already been here is that  _ Frisk  _ did this to us. A liberator she may  _ seem  _ to be, but she’s just as much a prison guard. I can’t help but slide my gaze over to her to see she’s already staring at me, a challenge in her fiery red eyes.

“Krista and I should talk to the humans first; it’s the only logical method to use when approaching such fragile circumstances,” Frisk says before anyone else can say something.

“Are you sure, my child?” Toriel asks her.

Frisk nods, never taking her eyes off me. “Wouldn’t you agree, Krista?”

“Yes, it makes sense,” I reply, hiding the frustration that threatens to consume my tone.

“Then I say we start heading to the city, wouldn’t want to waste any time!” Frisk declares, taking a few steps down the hill.

“Wait a minute. You just expect us to  _ stay _ here?” Undyne snaps.

“Think about it. Do you really think you can get away with walking around in a city filled with  _ humans _ ?” Frisk asks. She doesn’t even give the captain a chance to speak before continuing. “No, which is why you’ll just have to stay here for a little bit. It’s just like cooking pasta, all you need is  _ patience _ .”

Undyne squints at the comment, but it does make her smile the slightest bit. “Fine, make it quick or else I’ll hunt you down.”

“I’m already terrified,” Frisk laughs before waving me forward.

I had already explained to Papyrus the circumstances, even though it won’t matter when Frisk Resets again. I still want him to know as much as possible. As a family, the three of us decided to agree to Frisk’s insistent demand to have control of this new “timeline,” as Sans suggested to call it. Maybe if she gets some of what she wants, she’ll be more likely to listen to reason? We can only hope.

My brothers only give me knowing looks before I follow after the Determination human, trusting that nothing will go  _ too  _ wrong. I walk beside Frisk and keep my gaze straight ahead, unenthused to start up a conversation that will most likely lead to a fight. She doesn’t speak either until we’re almost to the city streets.

“I guess the Magic Whisperers remember everything so they didn’t care to show up this time?” she casually asks.

“Yes,” is my only reply.

“Are you going to give me the silent treatment because things aren’t going your way with me around?” she says in a teasing voice.

“What’s to say?” I ask in a dull tone.

“I don’t know, maybe that you’re happy I’m here? Or that you’re hopeful my methods are going to make things better?”

“I am not going to say such blatant lies just so you can reinforce the idea in your mind that Resetting was the right decision. If you want reassurance, go ask a Magic Whisperer, but I can guarantee you they won’t be nearly as forgiving as I am.”

Frisk scoffs, “You’ll see why I made the right choice.”

“I can’t wait,” I hiss back as we enter the city.

We reach City Hall faster than before, more confident in our steps and less wary of our surroundings. I let Frisk take the lead when we walk into the lobby, genuinely curious as to what she’ll try to do.

The receptionist, Lacey, once again narrows her eyes at us but speaks as if we’re respectable clients. “How can I help you two?”

“I want to speak with Mayor Ross,” Frisk boldly demands.

“Do you have an appointment?” Lacey asks, clearly tempted to roll her eyes at the child before her.

“I don’t need one as the Ambassador of a group that will become her top priority once she meets them.”

So Frisk is now declaring  _ herself  _ as the Ambassador? Bold, indeed.

“Well, I’m sorry to tell you this, but she doesn’t meet with children who have no credibility,” Lacey replies, allowing some of her irritation to slip into her tone.

_ That  _ was the wrong thing to say.

Frisk drums her fingers on the desk a couple times before she barks out a cold, harsh laugh. “Alright, don’t say I didn’t try to cooperate, lady.”

She struts off towards the right hallway leading to Evelynn’s office, and Lacey jumps out of her chair. “Hey, you can’t see her, kid.”

Lacey steps in front of Frisk and gasps, her body suddenly straightening into a rigid position. The Determination human shakes her head in disappointment and murmurs, “What did I tell you?”

Lacey steps to the side and I storm up to Frisk. “What the hell do you think you’re-”

She turns, revealing the dark cyan SOUL floating above her palm. I freeze and a wicked grin spreads across her face, “I told you,  _ no one _ is going to get in my way now.”

“How did you-”

“Oh, it’s quite simple. I took the liberty of doing some research, specifically in conversing with a certain  _ Determination human _ . I can see why you were so afraid of giving me the details. But Chara really isn’t that bad, Krista.”

“When?” is all I can get out.

“I took my time to explore Waterfall after our conversation. It wasn’t long before I found myself in a room I had not encountered last time. It was there that I met her, and she gave me some tips on how to use my magic. It’s really sad how afraid you are of your capabilities. You’d think a Perseverant would take full advantage of her powers after being beaten down for so long, but you don’t. It’s a good thing I’m not afraid to take charge. The monsters would have gotten nowhere if they only had  _ you _ .”

Frisk throws Lacey’s SOUL back to her and the woman collapses, rubbing a spot above her heart as her lower lip wobbles.

“Come on, Krista. We don’t have all evening,” Frisk chides, strutting on towards Evelynn’s office.

“I’m sorry, she’s not usually like this,” I try to reason to Lacey and she just shakes her head, stunned.

“Oh, Krista!” Frisk trills. “Get over here.”

“Did you ever consider that Chara’s manipulating you?” I snap in a hushed voice, walking to her side.

“No, but it did cross my mind that  _ you  _ have been trying to manipulate me,” she says in a demeaning tone. 

“ _ Me _ ? Frisk, I’m just trying to ensure that you don’t make the wrong choices.”

She snorts as she reaches for the handle of Evelynn’s office door. “Well, you’ve done a horrendous job at that.”

“Chara killed your family,” I hiss, finally getting her full attention.

Frisk drops her hand and places it on her hip. “Really? Is that because she killed yours or do you have definitive proof?”

“Think about it. Your dad just  _ happened  _ to get hit by a car? Then your sister completely withdrew and-”

Frisk points a finger, “If you finish that sentence, I  _ swear  _ I will slit your throat right here.”

“And then your mom just became an abusive person?” I push, ignoring her threat. “None of that adds up to you? I never saw it either, but it made perfect sense when she explained it because I realized my dad would have  _ never  _ become that person on his own. Don’t you see? Chara has manipulated you for the past few months to bring you to the Underground. She took away your family so you would learn loss and hate and anger all at once. I don’t know why she chose you over-” I cut myself off before I mention Matt. If there’s  _ one  _ person I can protect from this, it’s him. “Other Determination humans,” I resort to saying, “or why she did it now of all times, but it was to get you to change into the violent person that you’re not.”

Frisk’s eyes drift to the ground in contemplation before they snap back up to mine. “Interesting theory,  _ Perseverant _ . Too bad there’s one little flaw in it.  _ If  _ Chara really did all of that, then how is she not powerful enough to kill us all right now?”

“She needs a physical body with an even stronger SOUL to leave the Void. Sure, she’s gotten stronger than ever, but she’s still stuck in Waterfall.”

Frisk smirks, “Then why didn’t she kill me when I was  _ right in front of her _ ? Why did she teach me magic instead? The way I see it, you’re trying to manipulate me into thinking you’re my ally. But why should I trust  _ you _ ? You’re a descendant of two of the wizards who took the Surface from the monsters in the first place. What power do you hope to achieve from this?”

I glare straight into those poison-apple eyes. “Absolutely  _ nothing _ .”

“Hmm,” she hums, turning back to the door, “then I guess you’ll  _ really  _ have to prove yourself.”

Frisk opens the door to the sight of Evelynn leaning back in her chair, an unamused expression hardening her face.

“You girls have quite the interesting stories,” the mayor says in a bored tone. “I wondered how long it would take for you to bring your squabbling in here and finally destroy my remaining focus.”

“Mayor Ross, what would you say if I told you the monsters of the legends are real?” Frisk asks, smoothly taking a seat across from Evelynn and propping her head up with a fist.

“I would call you partially insane, but given all that I heard, I will call you entirely insane.”

Frisk laughs, a sharp, bitter sound as she leans back in her seat. “I have living proof that I am ‘of sound mind.’ Would you care to see it?”

“No, now get out of my office,” Evelynn snaps, using the tone of a disappointed parent.

“Well,” Frisk muses, looking back at me with an incredulous expression. “I guess I will have to persuade you with  _ different  _ methods.”

She lifts her hand and I leap forward to grab her wrist, yanking her out of her seat.

“I’m so sorry we disturbed you, Mayor Ross. We’ll leave now,” I say, shoving Frisk out of the room.

“Wait,” Evelynn says and I look back to face her calculating stare. She squints just the slightest before saying, “You seem familiar. Do I know your parents?”

I immediately shake my head as Frisk barks out a laugh, and in one swift motion, I shut the door as I step back out into the hallway.

Frisk turns to me with a broad grin of amusement. “Well how about that? It seems the Justice SOUL is getting a case of deja vu.”

“Just shut up.  _ Shut up _ ,” I hiss at her. “You suddenly think you’re so powerful just because you know a single magic trick? Well, guess what,  _ Determination _ ? You have no idea how magic works. All you’ve done is made everything worse, and now, nothing is going to go your way as a result. So stop acting like you have all this control and  _ listen  _ instead.”

“So you’re the leader?” she smugly asks.

“I am if I have to be, and right now, it is in everyone’s best interests for me to handle this,” I snap.

“So you’re saying I’m a stupid child,” she hisses.

“No, I’m saying you’re being immature and egotistical. So I will handle this because I know my method won’t make the situation as bad as yours will.”

A burst of anger flickers in her eyes as their shade darkens the tiniest bit, making me realize I’m probably being too harsh. I have to remind myself that she’s only twelve-years-old; of course she’d be easily fooled into thinking that having just a little bit of magic can make her rule the world. But I made a mistake in allowing her to do even this much. I need to put my foot down before she does any more damage. I’ve been so paranoid that she’ll sway to Chara’s wishes if I’m too demanding, but it seems she’s just as dangerous if I let her do what she wants. 

Frisk’s face darkens. “I see how it is. Too bad you’re still not as powerful as _ I _ am.”

“Is that a challenge?” I raise an eyebrow, sensing the amount of magic she’s summoning to the surface.

“Possibly,” she smirks and I realize she’s itching for a fight. She wants to test her abilities, and even worse, she probably wants to find my limitations that arguably make her better. 

“Then it can wait for later. Come on, we have work to do,” I say, turning to walk back to Evelynn’s office when Frisk’s hand snaps forward to grip my right arm.

The pressure on my Death Vow makes me flinch as I jerk my arm away. “What the hell?”

“I’m tired of Surface politics. I think we can have much more fun in the Underground, don’t you?” Frisk asks.

“ _ No _ ,” I hiss.

She tilts her head to the side, “And that is what makes you so afraid. It’s that you know you’ll never be as good as I am because no matter what, you’ll  _ never  _ have the one ability that makes a red SOUL superior.”

Her eyes darken and she delicately lifts her hand. “Let’s start over again, and this time, we’ll explore the changes that actually  _ matter _ .”

My magic flares in warning a second too late as everything disappears into darkness.

***

This time, I wake up calmly, as if I had just slept a good eight hours without a single nightmare to disturb it. I think it’s because I saw the Reset coming or maybe I’m just too tired to panic. Either way, I get up and head into the kitchen, opening the fridge in search of orange juice. It’s only when I have a glass poured and I’m sticking the carton back in the fridge do I sense his presence behind me. 

“Yep, I’m a miserable failure,” I say, shutting the fridge door and turning to face my brother. “You have my full permission to punch me in the face right now.”

“I’ll resort to questioning you, instead,” Sans says, walking over and taking the glass of juice off the counter. “This will be your reward.”

The incentive is laughable considering I would tell him no matter what. But I get it’s to make me focus, to remember before I try to shove the memory of the failure away. 

He gives me the glass back before I’m even finished explaining as my anger flares to the surface with every sentence.

“Well,” Sans says when I’m finished, now with his own glass of orange juice. “We really are a couple of failures.”

“What do you suppose we do?” I ask, holding back my retort that he’s not a failure. All he’ll do is throw it back in my face.

“Let’s see what she wants to be different this time. If she’d rather stay in the Underground, then I get the feeling she’s going to take her time. It could be a whole week until she shows up.”

“Hopefully not,” I mutter bitterly.

“Do you want to pretend tomorrow is like any other day if she doesn’t show up?” he asks.

“Yeah. In fact, just head to Hotland; I can handle her if she does leave the Ruins.”

“You’re sure?” he raises an eye socket.

“ _ Yes _ ,” I insist. 

So he heads to Hotland the next morning, giving me one last glance of wariness before shortcutting away. I’m not mad at him for doubting me, but he doesn’t have to be so protective.

I make it to my usual spot with Cody, acting as if today is as normal as ever. I can tell he’s suspicious that something is going on, but he doesn’t question me and I don’t admit to anything.

Interestingly enough, Frisk shows up within a couple hours, exiting the Ruins as if this is now a routine activity.

I raise an eyebrow at her and all she gives me is a sugar-sweet smile, faking an innocence I know doesn’t exist.

“What did you do?” I ask.

“Nothing,” she says with a smirk before moving on, not even sparing me a glance.

“Hey, what the hell?” I snap, grabbing her shoulder and sensing something is…  _ off  _ about her.

“Nothing major has changed, Krista. That will come later,” she says, shaking off my hand and striding away.

My fingers clench into fists as I stare after her, feeling every sense of suspicion coil its way around my defenses. She did something… but what?

***

Nothing out of the ordinary happens. Frisk befriends Undyne, Papyrus, Alphys. She wins the hearts of the monsters and makes her way to Asgore. Absolutely nothing changes, except… there’s no Save Load in the time after she disappears into the Throne Room. She’s supposed to fight Flowey and have her Save reloaded back to before her fight with Asgore. But it never happens.

“I don’t get it,” I say after waiting for about an hour in the Judgement Hall. I saw practically everything she did. Nothing was different. Unless…

I turn to Sans who’s been oddly quiet since I got here. He likes the idea of judging Frisk for a “timeline run,” but I didn’t make it to the Hall in time to hear it.

“Why won’t you say anything? What changed?” I ask.

“How much will you freak out if I tell you?” he asks in a low tone.

“Just say it,” I demand.

He sighs, “She gained EXP and a level of L.O.V.E, okay? She killed a monster.”

As much as my subconscious tells me this is no surprise, I’m still floored by the truth. “When? How?”

“I don’t know, but she killed  _ someone _ .”

My throat tightens as the weight of that unknown monster’s death settles on me. “And I drove her to this. I  _ let  _ her do this.”

Sans just rolls his eyes, “ _ Come on _ , Krista. She’s her own person and clearly she’s doing whatever the hell she wants. This is  _ only  _ on her and no one else, okay?”

I want to argue with him so badly, but I merely turn and head out of the Judgement Hall, fed up with his denials. I know the truth, and I must carry the blame.

***

A couple days later, Toriel emerges from the Ruins and reinstates her rule as queen. She holds a respectful funeral for Asgore, declaring what a great king he was despite his faults and how he was the only one who could have built a home as great as this one in the Underground. Some of her words are sugar-coated lies, but they’re clearly meant to gain the monsters’ favor for her rule.

Unsurprisingly, the process is seamless as the citizens accept the queen in Asgore’s absence. Her first rule of order is that any humans who fall into the Underground will be seen as friends and openly welcomed into the kingdom. I guess it’s a good new rule, but it’s not like the old one was enforced as much as it seemed to be.

The disappearance of Frisk and the six human SOULs is not questioned by the monsters as Toriel keeps the news very hush-hush. I wouldn’t have even known if I didn’t remember Resets. She only insists that the people keep hope and one day we will get out of here.

It takes me a day and a half to figure out why the death of an unknown monster would be the reason we remain Underground. The realization hits me when I think of Flowey. Even in his eyes, killing one person was bad enough that Frisk didn’t deserve a second chance. How strange that he would assume the moral high ground, maybe there’s more of Asriel hidden in him than I thought.

Unfortunately, the Reset comes all-too soon and we’re sent back once again. Despite Frisk’s new tendency for violence, I’m able to convince Sans to pretend everything is normal. So he grudgingly heads to Hotland and I go to my post.

The whole morning passes and I don’t hear a single sound on the other side of the doors. Suspicion sends a chill through me as I wait… and wait. Lunchtime passes and I don’t leave my post even though Papyrus will be wondering where I am. Hopefully Sans can make a good excuse.

It’s evening by the time I finally hear a rumble on the other side of the doors and I slowly approach them, almost expecting Frisk to violently kick them open. But she doesn’t. In fact, the rumbles end within a few minutes, making me raise an eyebrow.

Silence blankets the forest around me as I wait, staring so intensely at those doors that I don’t notice Sans is next to me until he clears his throat.

“Dude!” I yell, jumping back in surprise.

He shrugs, “Nothin’?”

“No,” I hiss, “but I think she might show up soon.”

“And what are you going to do?” he asks.

“I don’t know yet,” I admit.

“Well,” he says in a casual tone, stretching his arms up. “Just be back in an hour; I convinced Paps to order a pizza.”

“Fine,” I say dismissively and he disappears, giving me the sense that he’s trying as much as possible to seem like nothing is wrong. I worry enough for the both of us, and even though I can tell he’s concerned, he’d rather not put in as much effort as I do.

About twenty minutes later, the left door finally opens, and Frisk struts her way into Snowdin, her stance confident. When she’s close enough that I can see the red of her eyes, I’m about to speak when she puts a finger to her lips to shush me.

I don’t realize her intentions until she drops her finger and a patch of white remains on her lips, like powdered sugar. Only… it’s not sugar.

“The world just got a tad more interesting,” she muses as she rubs her fingers together and those white crumbs flake onto the ground. “Who could have thought it would have to bow to a twelve-year-old?”

Her power suddenly seems immensely stronger, and my eyes widen as I shift my gaze to the open door a few yards behind her, to the pile of dust lying in the Ruins.


	14. Possibilities To Explore

“Why?” I ask in a shuddered breath, unable to speak above a whisper.

Frisk shrugs, “I want to see what will happen.”

“ _ That’s _ your reason? Curiosity?” I hiss. “I thought you saw her as a mother.”

“I did, but I’m still curious. The Underground has practically forgotten about her, so what would happen if she was truly gone? It won’t matter when I Reset. No harm will be  _ permanent _ .” 

I struggle to find a response that would make her reconsider, but I can’t think of anything that she wouldn’t just brush off with the fact that everything can go back to the way it was.

“I’ll see you in the next run. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to spice things up so you’ll be irritated enough to fight,” Frisk smirks, striding past me and I catch her arm, yanking her back so she makes eye contact with me.

“You think I’m going to let you get away with this?” I ask in a low voice.

“Oh, I don’t count on it. I’m actually hoping you’ll get angry enough that I’ll see what you’re made of. But unfortunately, I don’t think I’ve hit close enough to home.”

She smiles sweetly, and before I can react, I’m knocked to the ground. All the air leaves me as I hit the packed snow, and warmth flows over my lips as I feel a nosebleed.

“What the hell?” I snap, forcing myself up to see the Determination human smirking down at me as I wipe the blood off my mouth.

“Your magic is too reserved, that’s why you keep losing. Come on, Krista. Don’t you want to hate me? Don’t you want to teach this selfish child a lesson? I’ll let you get the next hit in free of charge.”

“No,” I growl, standing up. “But I will say this. You really are a stupid, selfish child who has no concern for anyone but herself. You are not invincible. You are not superior. And you will realize  _ very soon _ that you are powerless to a far greater being.”

“Just say her name, Krista, or are you too afraid?” Frisk challenges. “Sure,  _ you  _ are powerless in comparison to her, but  _ I  _ am an equal. Didn’t I tell you that we made a deal? Chara and I have an understanding, something that a Perseverant like you would never get.”

My throat tightens at her bold, unforgiving confidence. “What did you agree to?”

“She gave me the key to becoming stronger, and I will repay her by using it to my full advantage. Chara recognizes my strengths, and she encourages me to explore them, unlike  _ you _ . When this is over… I’m not sure if you will have a place in either of our kingdoms.”

“‘ _ Our kingdoms _ ?’”

Frisk laughs, “It’s only fair that I recognize the Queen of the Void. I will reign over the Underground, and she will have the SOULs I deem unworthy of this life. The SOULs of her kingdom will be allowed the freedom to live in mine if their queen wills it. Chara said you would be especially happy to see a certain  _ scientist  _ return to the Underground. Would you mind telling me  _ that  _ story? I think she sa-”

I punch Frisk in the face as hard as I can, feeling immediate satisfaction at the  _ snap  _ I hear before she hits the ground.

Without a thought, I form a sword and point it at her neck, not feeling a speck of pity or regret at the sight of Frisk cupping her bleeding, broken nose.

“What did Chara tell you?” I ask in a flat tone.

Frisk looks up at me with a fierce sneer, her eyes holding more hatred than I’ve ever seen from her. “Aww, did I hit a nerve? Was the scientist another powerful being who saw your weaknesses and exploited them? It’s no wonder you’re so damaged, it’s just too easy to cut into that fragile SOUL of yours.”

“Answer the question,” I demand.

Her smile wavers the slightest bit. “She didn’t tell me much, but she said any mention of a scientist would be enough to freak you out. This goes to show it’s another thing Chara was being honest about. It’s also another thing  _ you’ve  _ been keeping secret. Do your so-called  _ brothers  _ even know?”

Good, she at least doesn’t know the details; all she knows is another spot to dig a knife into.

I eliminate my sword and shove my hands in my pockets. “Of course.”

“And what makes them so special that they get to know all the details of your oh-so-tragic past?”

“That’s none of your business. Now if you kill anyone else, you’re going to have to answer to  _ me _ . Got it?”

Frisk simply smiles and stands up, wiping the blood away from her nose. “Of course,  _ Your Highness _ ,” she giggles and mocks a bow before turning and skipping away.

I lift my chin as I glare at her retreating form, unsure if I distrust her enough to pursue her.

A whimper suddenly sounds behind me and I turn to see Cody. How did I forget he was here the whole time?

“What?” I ask, walking over to pick him up.

“This isn’t good,” he says in a quiet tone.

“I know, it just keeps getting worse.”

_ “It’s a good thing you have yourself to blame,” _ Lissaria says smugly.

I freeze, “Stay out of this, Whisperer.”

_ “Aww, I’m only trying to reinforce what you already believe.” _

_ “I don’t need you to remind me,” _ I snap back in my mind as I continue on.

_ “At least you hurt her back; I was worried for a minute that you didn’t have the guts to do it.” _

_ “I’ve hurt people before.” _

_ “But not a child that you so desperately want to help.” _

I roll my eyes and say nothing back, shutting down the conversation to which she mercifully agrees to.

I make it back to the house as a light snow begins to fall, the wind picking up and the Ceiling Stars already on their faint night settings. The main room is brightly lit as I push the door open and place Cody on the ground. 

“Of course,” I hear Sans say from the couch and I look to see him sitting there with his arms crossed, a disappointed expression hardening his face.

“What?” I ask.

He gestures to his own face before pointing at me and I touch my nose, feeling the dried blood crusted against my skin. I frown as I notice the blood I wiped off earlier is still staining my hand.

“What happened?” Papyrus asks from the kitchen as I shove the door shut behind me.

“I got smacked in the face by an arrogant child,” I bluntly admit.

“So she’s getting even more aggressive, interesting,” Sans says in a disinterested tone, as if it hurts him to pretend to be surprised.

“Yeah, she killed Toriel,” I say.

His eyes darken and he locks his empty gaze on me. “Seriously?”

“Would I ever lie about that?” I ask, kicking my boots off and throwing my coat on the back of a high chair.

“The Determination human is getting worse?” Papyrus asks. I glance at Sans and he nods, only slightly surprising me that he explained everything to Papyrus.

“Yes. Give me a minute and I’ll explain,” I say, running upstairs to wash the blood away before heading back down to go over what Frisk said.

When I’m finished, Sans merely shrugs, clearly not hearing anything he didn’t anticipate.

“So the Determination kids are working together? I don’t buy that alliance for a second,” he says.

“I don’t doubt that Chara’s just using Frisk, but how could we even convince her?” I ask, wondering where she is by now.

“We make her understand that nothing good will come out of violence and that everyone would be much happier if we lived on the Surface,” Papyrus says, his naivety sending a pain through my heart.

“I think you’re the only one who could convince her of that, bro,” Sans says.

“Then I will,” Papyrus responds, heading for the door.

“Wait, right now? You’re serious?” I ask.

“I’m not going to wait around for her to hurt someone else. Now, which way did she go?”

“No, I won’t let you go out there alone when she’s very likely to make  _ you  _ her next victim.”

“Then come along,” he says, stepping outside.

I look to Sans and he merely puts his hands behind his head. “If you’re so confident you can take care of yourselves, then I’m going to stay here.”

“Fine,” I hiss, stepping out and slamming my shoulder into Papyrus’ back. “Ow!” I say, stepping back to see he hasn’t moved an inch. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

I move to his side to see he’s staring at the bright yellow flower in the center of the path, smiling broadly up at us.

“What the hell do you want?” I snap at Flowey.

“The Determination human has already moved on to Hotland; it’d be a shame if anyone tried to stop her from doing what she wants,” he says.

“But what if I don’t agree with what she wants?” I ask, crossing my arms.

“Then it’s a curiosity she will have to fulfill without you in the picture,” he says, lifting two vines above the snow.

“So you’re willing to defend her?” I raise an eyebrow.

“I understand what she wants, and I must say I’m happy it’s a path she’s decided to take.”

“Then I guess we’re going to have to take  _ you  _ out of the picture to accomplish what  _ we  _ want,” I threaten, walking down the steps and onto the path.

“Krista,” Papyrus warns.

“You’ll never get the chance,” Flowey smirks, dropping underground.

“Coward,” I hiss as Papyrus puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Maybe we can get to New Home before Frisk does,” he says.

A blink later, we’re standing in the Judgement Hall and I jump, thinking Papyrus did it for a split second when I see Sans leaning against a pillar.

“You say you’re not getting involved yet you eavesdrop,” I say to him.

“I can’t help it when you two are so insistent on getting into trouble,” he says like he’s the oldest.

“We wouldn’t have gotten into trouble,” Papyrus argues.

Sans just shrugs, “Believe what you want.”

“Okay, what is your deal all of a sudden?” I snap, fed up with this back and forth attitude. “Sometimes you say you’re willing to stand against her and now you’re acting as if you don’t care what happens.”

Sans slides his gaze over to me, frustration burning in his eyes. “You want to know why?” He pushes off the pillar and walks over to me, seeming taller than usual. “Part of me wants to do something only because I remember the Resets and care about what happens to you two. But the other part of me asks why I should even bother since it’s all going to be erased. I had hope for a short time, I really did. But now, I don’t think this is going to end anytime soon. We can say whatever we want to Frisk and it won’t make a damn difference because she’s made up her mind. So why should we even try? Why exhaust ourselves fighting and hurting when none of it will matter?”

“Because maybe that will change her mind, if she sees how much damage she’s causing,” Papyrus says.

Sans shakes his head, “I love your optimism, Paps, but I really doubt it. She’s a power-hungry Determination human with nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

“So we should just sit back and let her take everything from us?” I ask.

Sans shrugs, “It seems like death is becoming the only other option.”

“No, I refuse to believe that,” Papyrus argues. “There is good in everyone, and I am going to prove it to you.”

He starts to head down the Hall and Sans faintly laughs, “Where are you going?”

“To prove you wrong!” Papyrus triumphantly replies as he disappears around the corner.

“Are you going to prove me wrong, also?” Sans asks me.

I frown and shove my hands in my pockets, “Are you going to let her kill you?”

He shrugs, “I might not have a choice, with my condition and all.”

“That is such a lie and you know it,” I snap.

“Look, all I’m saying is, do you really think all that effort will be worth it?”

“Is it better to accept the loss and just die?”

He sighs, “Krista… I don’t think anyone can beat her. Maybe it’s best that we just stay out of it. Maybe then she won’t hurt us and we’ll be able to live.”

“She  _ won’t  _ let us live. She will take  _ everything  _ if we don’t fight. Didn’t you promise me that you wouldn’t let anything happen to our family? Yet here you are all willing to give up?”

His eyes black out and he takes a step back as I become very aware of the room we’re standing in now. Isn’t this where we’re meant to die?

“I did promise that,” he murmurs, looking away from me. “And I’m sorry I forgot about it. I’ve… I’ve already failed you, haven’t I?”

“Well, I don’t see you making any promises that carry as much weight,” I shrug, feeling a little guilty for reminding him of that. “I just don’t want you to become compliant with her actions. I know winning seems impossible, but I can’t give up so easily.”

“You’re right,” he says. “That’s all I’ve ever done, give up because I’m worthless and Papyrus or you have gotten hurt every single time. Even though everything will be Reset, you and I will still remember the pain of the losses if we don’t do anything.”

“Sans-” I’m about to argue.

“Don’t deny it. I’ve never been able to protect you or Papyrus when it matters, and I can’t even keep a single promise. I give up whenever I accept a fate that isn’t certain and you two pay the price because of it.”

“Then it’s a good thing you’re not going to give up now,” I insist and he finally looks at me, his eyes slowly returning to normal. “Now come on, we need to find Papyrus before he meets Frisk.”

“No need!” Frisk suddenly says as I turn to see her enter the Hall… alone. “I met your brother, and he had a very convincing argument. It was enough to make me regret killing Toriel just the  _ slightest  _ bit.”

“Where is he now?” I demand.

“Heading into the City, I was hanging out with Undyne when he showed up.”

I glance at Sans and he slightly nods, meaning whatever L.O.V.E or EXP she has is not because of Papyrus.

“So judge me, Sans,” she smirks. “How mad are you about this run?”

He shrugs, “So you only killed Toriel. Does that make you feel good about yourself?”

“A little, but I’m more excited for the glimpse of the future I’ll get to see. I wonder what happens to this kingdom without her, don’t you?”

“No,” I hiss and she merely shrugs as she begins to strut towards the other end of the Hall.

“So righteous, Krista. You’re gonna tell me you’ve never been curious in your life?”

“Not when it comes to how the world changes depending on who lives and dies.”

“Well that’s only because you don’t have this kind of power, but don’t worry, I can take care of that for you,” she giggles as she makes it to the exit and turns the corner with a wave.

***

Her Imperial Majesty, Empress Undyne, the new ruler of the Underground. I should have guessed she’d be next in line for the throne. I find it intriguing that she’d rather be an empress than a queen, and she merely tells me that it’s a higher status of monarchy, meaning she has more control than Asgore ever did.

I don’t know how I feel about that, considering in order to have an empire, she must rule over several kingdoms, not just one. I guess her intentions are to rule the human race even though she deliberately avoids telling me her intentions for the Surface. But I see it in her eye: the hatred, the betrayal in Frisk’s supposed murder of the king. Flowey had killed him originally, but there’s no telling now whether it’s Frisk’s doing or his.

The Reset comes fast, undoing the captain’s temporary reign and bringing back Toriel. I don’t confront Frisk this time; it’s clear she’s going to do whatever she wants. But I do keep an eye on her as she travels. I spot the dust on her hands as she leaves the Ruins, but she doesn’t kill any monsters in Snowdin. I tell Sans to meet me in Hotland once she clears Waterfall, and I watch from a distance to ensure she doesn’t kill any of its residents. Even though Cody wanted to come along, I made him stay home; it’s difficult enough just making sure I stay hidden. He didn’t like it, but he eventually agreed.

Frisk doesn’t kill anyone in Waterfall, but as she nears the final path into Hotland, she stops dead in her tracks, making me stumble back a few steps.

“You don’t think I know you’ve been following me this whole time, Krista?” she asks smugly.

I’m not surprised, but I hate that she’s acknowledging how bad I am at keeping a far enough distance to go unnoticed. Even now, I’m partially hidden by the wall before the little bridge that leads onto the final path.

“No, but I’m still going to so I can make sure the monsters are safe,” I reply.

“It’s not like you’d be able to do anything if I  _ did  _ kill someone,” she smirks.

“Really?” I raise an eyebrow at the challenge.

“Oh sure, just watch what will happen soon,” she smiles, continuing forward a few feet to reach the rock archway before the  _ Welcome to Hotland _ sign.

“One SOUL, one more SOUL, and King Asgore will be able to destroy the Barrier and give monsters the freedom they deserve,” Undyne calls from the top of the archway. “Six, that is what we have now, and Determination is the final trait to set us free.”

She looks down at Frisk and points a spear, “ _ You _ are what’s holding us back from achieving our hopes and dreams! And now, I will finally end our thousand years of imprisonment!”

Frisk just smirks and steps closer to the archway, a challenge. Undyne smirks back, covered from the neck down in armor with her bright red hair flowing against the wind, she is every inch the image of the Captain of the Royal Guard.

“Then you have made your choice,  _ human _ ,” she declares, jumping down from the rock to plunge spear-first at Frisk.

The Determination human jumps back and pulls a kitchen knife out of her side pocket, making my eyes widen at how I didn’t notice that earlier. Where did she even get it? From the Ruins?

Frisk swings at Undyne and strikes the armor protecting her chest, making my heart skip a beat when the captain’s eye shrinks just the slightest bit, as if that actually caused her  _ pain _ .

“En guarde!” is Undyne’s only response as she sends three spears straight at Frisk’s face.

The girl easily blocks them with her knife and sneers, “Is that really your best attack, Undyne?”

“Ha! Not even close,” Undyne snarls back, summoning ten spears this time that she sends much faster.

Frisk easily dodges and lunges forward to stab Undyne’s arm this time, making the captain grunt in pain. That’s it.

I form a spike of magic and throw it at Frisk, cutting clean through her left shoulder blade and causing blood to immediately pour down her back.

The girl yells in pain as I form another spike and approach her.

“Krista? What are you doing here?” Undyne demands.

“I’ve been doing my job and watching this  _ human  _ ever since she entered Snowdin. Turns out she has a nasty tendency for hurting others,” I say.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” the captain snaps.

“You were going to kill her anyway,” I argue.

“Then why are you interrupting me?”

“Come on, she got a couple bad hits in already. I wanted to make sure  _ you  _ wouldn’t get killed.”

Undyne laughs, “Really? You were afraid for  _ my  _ life?”

“At least you don’t underestimate me, Krista,” Frisk growls, pressing a hand against her shoulder blade.

“You stay back,” I order.

“Oh sure, sure,” she smirks when the world suddenly blacks out.

I jump, blinking spots from my eyes to hear Undyne say from above, “One SOUL, one more SOUL-”

“You get involved again, and I’ll kill you first,” Frisk hisses at me from the far end of the path.

“Fine,” I say, beginning to approach her when the world blacks out again.

My fists clench in anger as I try to get my eyes to adjust when I’m suddenly pushed and my back hits the narrow bridge. How did she-

“I warned you,” Frisk snarls in my ear before I’m shoved off and I’m falling into the black abyss.

The wind screeches in my ears as the all-too familiar feeling reminds me of last January. Only this time, I actually  _ want  _ to live.

The thought forces me to focus as I form a path of magic underneath me in a shape similar to a slide to slow myself down. When my feet hit it, I gradually slope my magic up until I come to a stop, stumbling a few steps as I get my bearings. 

I look up to see the bridge a few stories above and look down to confirm that I’m nowhere near the ground. How am I going to get back up? I guess I could form platforms, but is there any faster method?

The answer hits me a second later; it’s so simple, yet my constant self-doubt made it seem improbable.

I form a single platform and accelerate it up like an elevator, keeping my balance despite the speed. When I reach the bridge, I jump onto it and look right to see Frisk and Undyne are nowhere in sight, but I hear a battle cry down the hall a second later.

“I’m not going to lose! Nnnnagh! For the sake of everyone’s hopes and dreams, I will defeat you!” Undyne yells and I bolt for the rock archway, following her voice.

“You’re going to have to try a little harder than  _ that _ !” she declares as I turn the corner and spot her and Frisk near the beginning of the Hotland sign.

I’m about to run for her when Frisk easily blocks her spears and I see the captain’s body… shimmering, as if it’s losing its shape. Undyne sends her spears at a slower pace than usual and Frisk dodges, getting in a wicked hit that makes Undyne’s body shudder and lose its shape even more.

“I won’t give up. Not when there are so many people who need me,” Undyne says, her voice trembling. “Alphys, Asgore, Papyrus…”

I sprint forward as Frisk bats away her incoming spears and gets another hit in.

“I won’t,” Undyne whispers as I reach Frisk and yank her back before she can get in another hit.

“So you’re not going to back down?” the girl snarls, slashing her knife at me that I block with a magic one of my own.

“Never,” I hiss back.

“Good to know you think that because it will be all the more satisfying when you  _ do  _ give up.”

“Nnngaaah!” Undyne screams, tearing my focus away from Frisk to see her shimmering body reform. Only… she’s  _ melting _ .

The sight blurs in my mind as I picture that bird monster I saw in the lab, one that was injected with Determination.

How is this possible? Is this solely because of Undyne’s own Determination? Can monsters have enough to technically kill  _ themselves _ ? Is she living longer or dying faster because of it?

I shove Frisk back and lunge for Undyne to try to help her even though I don’t know what I can do. But her melted form doesn’t last for long as it crumbles into dust.

I freeze and stare at the dust, knowing it’s the monsters’ equivalent to a corpse.

She’s dead now.  _ Undyne  _ is dead. The Captain of the Royal Guard, filled with so many hopes and dreams and a personality fiercer than anyone I’ve ever known, is now dust. 

The irony of her name is enough that I wouldn’t be surprised if Frisk started laughing. But instead, she merely walks around the captain’s remains, frowning as if it was such a shame, as if it wasn’t  _ her  _ fault.

“Let’s see who takes over now that the  _ empress  _ is dead,” Frisk smirks. Then she turns and strides down the hall.

I start to shake as anger burns through me, but I can’t move as I stare at that dust, reminding myself that I could have stopped this if I was better. Frisk will continue to get her way as long as I hold back, which means I can’t have mercy anymore. She has none for us, so I must reciprocate the sentiment.

I don’t know how to pay some form of respects to Undyne. It feels wrong to leave her dust, but what can I do? Touching it seems wrong, and even though this will all be Reset, I feel the need to tell someone about her bravery, her Determination. She did not die without a fight, and she lasted longer than she should have through sheer will.

The first person I can think of makes my throat tighten: Alphys. How will she handle the news? Is there even some sort of gentle way to explain it?

I take a deep breath and walk around Undyne’s remains, careful to make sure I don’t touch a speck of them. Then I head for Hotland, knowing the lab is right up ahead.

What if Frisk is there? Should I make her pay for what she did? Deny her of finding out what will happen without Undyne? Wouldn’t that be the best payback, to make her efforts worth nothing?

I turn the corner and walk over the bridge to the lab, numb to even thinking about the lava below me. Once again, I failed someone who was depending on me, and a Determination creature has gotten away with it.

I shouldn’t allow it; I should be better, stronger than this. But all I do is make things worse.

The lab doors slide open and I walk inside to see it dim for once, lit only by the large screen on the left wall that used to show whoever was entering the lab. Now, it’s frozen on Undyne’s melting face, contorted with pain and regret.

I hear faint sniffles in the direction of Alphys’ desk, and in the dim light, I spot her hiding underneath it.

“Alphys?” I gently ask.

“S- she c- came through h- here, the D- D- Determination hu- human,” she stutters in a hushed voice.

“What did she do?”

“N- nothing, she s- said n- nothing.”

I cautiously approach her desk and pull the chair back, allowing more light to reveal her tear-streaked face.

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t fast enough,” I whisper.

Alphys sobs into her hands and ducks her head, causing more guilt to tighten my throat. 

“I’ll make her pay,” I swear, looking in the direction of where Frisk left.

Alphys sniffles and crawls out from underneath the desk, her face hardening with resolve. “D- don’t b- bother, no one c- can win against a D- Determination h- human.”

“Alphys-”

She shakes her head and backs away, towards the door that leads down to the  _ true  _ lab. “J- just l- l- leave her a- alone and m- maybe she’ll l- let you live. A- all w- we can do n- now is h- hide.” I step forward to stop her and she throws out a hand, tears pouring even faster. “D- don’t f- follow m- me.”

She steps into the elevator and disappears behind the door, leaving me in her silent lab. The lack of noise makes dread crawl up my spine, and I turn to leave the way I came. Maybe I can intercept Frisk in one of the higher levels of Hotland.

I make it to the elevator and first travel to Sans’ post to figure out if he’s seen her already.

“Krista, I already judged her,” he says, clearly uncomfortable with telling me.

“How? How did she get to the Hall that fast?” I demand.

“Frisk’s just checking bodies off her list and ignoring the others. She spares the people she’s not interested in killing yet and makes it to Asgore just to figure out how the world will change. If it makes you feel better, I only judged her a couple minutes ago.”

“But now we have to wait for her to leave the Underground.”

“Which won’t take long,” he murmurs, leaning back in his chair.

And he’s right because only two hours later, shouts of Asgore’s death ring throughout the Underground. People ask who will lead them now and where Undyne might have gone.

“Shall we go see the chaos in the capital?” I ask.

Sans shrugs and shortcuts us onto the bridge just outside the Judgement Hall. Shouts from hundreds of monsters ring in my ears as people both on the streets below and those walking towards the Hall demand justice. 

We follow the ones on the bridge to find the Hall crowded with monsters, all of them trying to reach the Throne Room.

“This isn’t something you all need to be here to address!” a girl’s voice rings from the other end of the Hall. “He will answer questions momentarily!”

“But who gives  _ Mettaton  _ the right to rule?” a man’s voice proclaims over the noise.

“It should be someone from the Royal Guard!” a woman says.

“If you don’t like it, then perhaps you should move to the Wastes!” that same first girl replies.

Sans shortcuts us to the end of the Hall, only a few feet from the exit to see that girl Mettaton had ordered around in July holding monsters back. I think her name was… Marcie?

I nod to the hall beyond and Sans shortcuts us to the entrance to the Throne Room. Inside, Mettaton observes the room with two of his bird assistants, as if he’s deciding on what to renovate.

“Oh, Krista!” he says, when he turns to see me. “You must have heard the tragic news, didn’t you? The king is dead and Undyne is nowhere to be found. I’m afraid the task of ruling must be left to me since no one has been willing to step up.”

“It hasn’t even been a day. Don’t you think it should be someone from the Royal Guard? Didn’t Asgore have a line of succession recorded in case this happened?” I ask.

“Well, no one has said anything about that. Besides, I think I have the best vision for this kingdom.”

“Really?” I cross my arms, unconvinced. He’s an  _ entertainer _ , not a ruler.

“Oh, yes. Parties every night, statues and monuments to rejoice my beauty, everything covered in golden glitter! It will be magnificent!”

Disgust and anger coil around my heart as I realize that is a very likely reality. The people of this kingdom are not very rebellious, and despite the current unrest, they will eventually bow because that is all they have ever known. And I cannot allow that.

If there is one good thing I can do for this kingdom, the least is to keep its head above water. If I can’t preserve its leaders, then I need to keep it safe from the anarchy the bad leaders will create. And as much as I’ve denied it… I need to step up and rule myself. They might hate me because of it. They might not see many credentials in a human child, but hopefully,  _ hopefully _ , I can retain their trust.

I force a sly smile onto my face as if I entirely agree with Mettaton’s vision. “And when were you going to consult me about this?” I ask, striding into the Throne Room.

“What do you mean?” he asks, genuinely confused.

“Well, as your lovely co-star,” I say approaching the throne and running my fingers over the golden embroidery on the back. “I’d think you would want my opinion on this, too.”

“Well, I didn’t think you’d care considering you’re not a fan of the spotlight,” he says, seeming defensive.

“Ah, I see,” I say, jumping over the right armrest and sitting sideways on the throne, feeling every instinct inside me recoil at the action. I have no right to do this. I am not meant to sit on a throne. I am no queen. 

“You see, I have a different mindset. As a student of the late Captain of the Royal Guard, she entrusted key information to me of the king’s final wishes. She said if anything were to happen, she hoped I would take up the mantle of ruling this kingdom.”

Mettaton stares at me in shock, and Sans fights to hide his smile. Is he happy I’m doing this?

I force an even smugger smirk for effect. “Think about it:  _ Queen Krista _ . That has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

I can’t hear Mettaton’s response as Lissaria’s laughter roars in my head.

_ “Oh Perseverant, are you finally accepting your heritage?” _ she muses.

_ “Only because I have to,” _ I respond while keeping up my facade of confidence.

“Now, I believe you have some news to tell my kingdom,” I say to the stunned robot. “Poor Marcie’s been trying to fight back the crowds in light of your announcement. Perhaps you’d like to deliver the truth of who’s the real successor?”

“So you think you can rule this kingdom yourself, darling?” Mettaton asks, slightly suspicious.

“Oh, don’t worry, I have advisors to consult. I know you wouldn’t have asked anyone for advice would you? No, as an egotistical entertainer, you would have done exactly what you wanted without caring about anyone’s opinion. It’s a good thing I’m here to prevent that. Now are you going to share the news or do I have to do everything myself?”

I raise an eyebrow and summon a tiny sphere of magic that I roll between my fingers as if it doesn’t have the ability to destroy him in a heartbeat.

“Y- yes… Your Majesty,” Mettaton responds, making a slight bow and leaving with his assistants.

Lissaria laughs even louder as Sans says something while he strolls across the room.

“Just give me a second, I’ve got a dragon laughing in my head,” I say, gesturing to my Death Vow and waiting for her to shut the hell up. She finally does by the time Sans reaches the throne and I roll my eyes in relief. “Sorry, now what did you say?”

“That was a pretty good act; I never thought you could take control of a kingdom so easily,” he says.

“Yeah well… even though it’s temporary, I couldn’t let him do what he wanted. This place would become more of a hell than it ever was.”

“I think you’ll be a good queen. You already have one loyal subject,” he winks.

“Thanks,” I smirk, “although you’re actually going to be one of my advisors.”

“So you’ll consider instating an official Grillby’s Celebration Day?”

“I’ll think about it,” I muse, swinging my legs off the side of the throne to stand up. “Now I think I have to make some big speech and hope they’ll accept me.”

“I think they will. After all, they already love you.”

“As an  _ entertainer _ , no one has ever said anything about me being a leader.”

“Haven’t the Whisperers?” he jokes, as if their opinions have affected the monsters.

I roll my eyes once again as we head for the Judgement Hall… but we never even leave the Throne Room before the Reset.


	15. The Path To Genocide

_ I stand on the path leading to the Ruins doors, facing the little bridge that begins the path to home. My eyes struggle to adjust to the dim light as it contrasts with the bright snow. Even though it’s sometime in the late afternoon, it looks darker as a steady snowfall begins, the flakes dense and wet. _

_ Normally, this would put me in a good mood, but a sense of dread crawls up my spine instead. I am not alone. _

_ Silence begins to make my ears ring as I examine the area, searching for any disturbances on the pristine snow. Even though there’s nothing, I take cautious steps forward, only hearing the crunch of snow beneath my boots. _

_ “H- help… m-me,” a voice suddenly whispers, and I whip around to see no one. Only… there’s a pile of dust where I once stood. _

_ I look back to continue on, lying to myself that it’s nothing when I spot another pile of dust on the bridge. And then another and another. Every time I blink, another one appears. _

_ “You know this is because of you,” a sharp, distinct voice says. _

_ I don’t know where it’s coming from, and I refuse to look as the piles continue to appear, tricking my eyes as some blend into the snow. I refuse to move now in fear that I’ll step on one, knowing all too well that they’re technically bodies. _

_ “Would you like to join them?” the voice asks. _

_ I bite my lip as one appears directly in front of me with a blue jacket folded neatly on top. The one next to it has a red scarf folded around it. Then I see ones with an eye patch, a lab coat, a purple cape, a yellow striped shirt, a pink heart, on and on they appear, each pile becoming defined by the monster it once was. I know them. I know all of them.  _

_ “The time has come,” the voice declares as a girl in a yellow and green striped shirt appears in front of me. She smiles and twirls a long knife between her hands. _

_ I flinch back, knowing I shouldn’t be anywhere near her when she grabs my wrist and slices it open, letting the blood pour onto the pile with the blue jacket. _

_ “You must atone for their mistakes; it’s a good thing we have eternity together,” she smiles, shoving me back once the top of the pile is soaked with my blood. _

_ Then she pulls a flat paper cone out of her pocket and puffs it out, examining the pile like it’s a treat. _

_ “I’ve always felt they were little more than nuisances. Too bad you got attached to them; this will hurt all the more,” she says, scooping up a mixture of the blood and dust to place it in the cone. _

_ “However,” she pauses, bending down to collect snow that she sprinkles on top of her makeshift snowcone, “it will be entertaining for me. I’ve never been so excited to make you suffer.” _

_ The girl giggles and takes a bite out of the combination of blood, dust, and snow, savoring it as if it’s the best thing she’s tasted in years. _

_ “Mmm, so this is what a duo of failures tastes like. I can’t wait for the world to know the last two creatures that stood in my way were as easy to kill as the weakest ones.” _

_ Her eyes glitter with malicious mischief as she lifts her knife. “I just can’t wait.” _

_ Then she lunges forward and buries the knife deep into my chest, twisting it to the side to rip into my heart. _

_ “Now you can finally join them,” she whispers.  _

***

I wake up with a jolt, as if I really feel that knife sinking into my chest before I remember where I am. Gray light seeps through the curtains covering the windows, and I figure it must be around seven in the morning. I remember waking up after the Reset and falling back to sleep, but I didn’t think my subconscious would attack me so viciously. Of course, I’m always  _ hoping  _ it won’t.

I get up and head to the attic, preparing myself for another day of struggling to survive. I spend the whole time trying to ignore the dream, understanding very thoroughly what it means as I put on my white shirt with little bundles of cherries on it. The question is: was it actually my subconscious that attacked me? Or… was it really  _ Chara _ ?

I’m ready to go by seven-thirty, still lost in my thoughts on the way down the attic steps when a knock sounds on the front door. Unfortunately, Papyrus was in the kitchen and he reaches it before I do, opening the door to reveal the red-eyed girl that lunges at him the second he’s within her sights.

Frisk slashes that kitchen knife across his chest and stabs him in the neck before he can even cry out in pain. Papyrus drops to his knees and I sprint for the front door, pulling him away from Frisk. She laughs and steps inside the house, waving the knife around as if she can’t wait to stab me with it next.

I throw out a wave of magic that sends her flying onto the path, and I slam the door shut, locking it for good measure.

By the time I turn around, Sans has already shortcutted down and uses his magic to repair the wounds. But… it’s not enough.

“Sans,” Papyrus whispers, placing his left hand crumbling to dust on top of our brother’s. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not!” Sans screams back, pouring his magic into the wounds that are dusting Papyrus faster than he can be healed.

The window above the couch suddenly shatters, and Frisk pulls herself into the room, a determined expression burning across her face. I step a few feet away from my brothers and form a shield behind me, ensuring Frisk can’t get anywhere near them unless she kills me.

“I know enough now. Enough to know who is the final body to take out of the equation,” she says in a raspy voice and I notice her fingers are caked with dust. She smiles as she catches the horror that undoubtedly crosses my face. “You thought you could rule them? No, they would never accept  _ you _ , which is why I need to kill you once I get rid of  _ all  _ the others. Citizens, flowers, Royal Guards, and of course, the king himself, it will be the ultimate testament to the truth that a Perseverant can never be good enough. And besides, once all of you are dead, the new world that Chara and I desire will finally begin.”

“That’s cute, you do all the dirty work, and then she just steps in to claim the victory. It sounds like a real partnership,” I say, forcing a facade of calm.

“You’re just jealous that you’re so much weaker than us. Not only in your trait, but your L.O.V.E is so low. I am already at eight, and what are you? Two, maybe three at best? Truly pathetic, it’s no wonder you’re so easy to walk all over. But it’s still not too late; you would be an acceptable addition to our Royal Guard, assuming of course that you would  _ obey _ .”

“I’m done with this,” I snap, sending a sphere of magic right at Frisk’s face. She ducks just in time, but I bring it back to slam into her shoulder blade, sending her flying right for the sword I create. I stab it into her shoulder and she screams as blood showers onto the carpet.

“Now get out of my house,” I snarl in her ear, grabbing her by the throat and dragging her to the front door. She looks in my brothers’ direction and smiles, a low chuckle rumbling against my hand. I ignore it as I fling open the door and throw her off the front porch, feeling immense satisfaction at her yelp of pain.

“Try this again and I will rip your SOUL out of your chest to show you just how weak  _ you  _ are,” I threaten.

Frisk smiles as she picks herself up. “That’s a nice threat, but I know you’re not capable of fulfilling it. Only, who knows? Maybe you’ll surprise me. I’ll see you in the Judgement Hall.”

Then she turns with her chin held high towards the blizzard, indifferent to the injury in her shoulder.

I scoff and slam the door shut, turning to immediately understand why she feels victory in an arguable defeat. It’s because she accomplished exactly what she wanted.

Sans stands over a pile of dust, his back turned to me. He’s shaking, but I can’t tell if it’s from grief or rage. I cautiously walk to his side, feeling my own tears of grief and guilt slide down my cheeks.

We stare at the dust for a long while until he finally says, “I saw this moment the very second I met Frisk, but I didn’t want to believe it would be true.”

I finally look at him through the blur of tears to see his face expressionless aside from the black pits that define his eye sockets. His gaze drifts up to mine, cold and filled with pain.

“And despite my better instincts, I listened to  _ you _ .”

The anger in his voice makes me flinch, as well as the onslaught of guilt that manifests from the accusation of what I’ve caused.

“I wanted to give her a chance,” I say in barely a whisper, afraid to truly defend myself.

He scoffs, “And look how that turned out. I  _ knew  _ I was right to be suspicious of her, but I let it happen anyway. This is just as much my fault, but… I didn’t think the guilt would hurt this much. Everything will eventually be Reset, but as always, who paid the price for this run?”

I try to swallow the lump in my throat as I ask, “What else did you see?”

He smirks, “Nothing else but red and gold… that’s all I’ve ever seen.”

“Then maybe we can still beat her,” I try to reason.

His sharp laugh is devoid of any emotion other than pure rage. “Sure, Krista. We can try, but what she said about her L.O.V.E is true. It’s only going to get higher, and we’ll have even lower chances of winning by the time she’s killed the whole Underground.”

“Then let’s stop her now,” I insist.

He shakes his head, “Nah, I’ll wait to judge Frisk. Her death will be the most painful when her L.O.V.E is as high as it can get.”

“Why-”

“I figured it out. That’s how my magic works: the higher your L.O.V.E and EXP, the worse the damage. Let’s call it karma or justice for every terrible thing a person’s ever done.”

“So you’re just going to let her murder everyone?” I ask, holding back the rising anger in my voice.

“I’m not much help otherwise. You can go after her as long as you’re certain you won’t get killed in the process.”

I know he’s angry, but the cold indifference in his voice hurts more than anything. I am the reason this happened. He tried to warn me, but I was too insistent, too blind to the truth. Frisk was always meant to become this, and nothing would have ever steered her down a better path. She’s not the girl I met all those months ago. Well… it feels like it was months ago. She’s the epitome of all I’ve learned about Determinations: a megalomaniac with the power to either save the world or destroy it. She and I practically started the same way, but the choices we’ve made with our power… 

Perhaps I’m too weak to understand what it’s like or maybe I’m giving her too much credit. But still… why wasn’t I able to convince her to stay on the Surface? Why couldn’t I convince her to move on? Does she not feel the same kind of overwhelming guilt that I feel for being the last surviving member of my family? Or has she let go of the guilt she once had and just decided to search for the strongest version of herself?

I take a deep breath and try to reach for my brother, “Sans-”

He shortcuts to the doorway to his room upstairs. “Do what you want, Krista. Get yourself killed now or meet me in the Judgement Hall, I don’t care. Papyrus’ death means we’re both failures, and I have no responsibility for anyone else’s life besides  _ his _ . Now if you do meet me, your magic better be at its strongest. If not, then stay out of the way; Frisk is  _ my  _ kill.”

He turns and slams his door shut, the sound harsher than anything he said.

A hollowness in my chest sends a chill through me as I stare at his door, and then my eyes drift down to Papyrus’ remains. _ I _ did this. His dust is on  _ my  _ hands. And like a coward, I can’t bear to look at it any longer.

I turn for the front door and open it, stepping outside into the silent air. The chill intensifies and I’m tempted to go back inside to grab my coat. But I ignore it and head down the steps, turning for the blizzard.

A warmth brushes against my right leg, and I look down to see Cody, my heart aching at his pained look.

“Where were you hiding, pup?” I ask in barely a whisper, picking him up as we head into the blizzard.

“I was in the kitchen when everything happened. Sans doesn’t seem to be in the social mood so I decided to follow you.”

“You don’t have to come,” I say once we’re out of the blizzard.

“I want to. Frisk shouldn’t be allowed to hurt any more people.”

“Brave puppy,” I try to smile with pride and fail miserably.

“You know Sans doesn’t really blame you. He’s just mad at himself and he directed that anger at you. It was like that day in Hotland, he says things without thinking.”

“Right,” I reply, pretending I understand when I know Sans is  _ actually  _ angry with me. He truly doesn’t care if I live or die right now… because  _ Papyrus  _ was the only one who really mattered. He was innocent, he had no part in this, and yet  _ he  _ was the one who died. My death will be justified, but Papyrus’ never will be… and that is why Frisk must be held accountable.

The question is: does she pay now or later? Should I risk attempting to kill her now and failing, leaving Sans alone? Or should I let her massacre the Underground, so that my brother will at least be safer? The former is arguably better in terms of numbers. I will have given more people a fighting chance or more time to escape. Plus, Sans doesn’t seem to be too bothered by the thought that I’ll die trying. But… a feeling in me, either love or stupidity, says I should wait. I already failed one brother; I can’t abandon the other, no matter how furious he may be with me.

In the meantime, I need to warn as many people as possible. I don’t know where they would go, if there are perhaps deep tunnels farther underground or some shelter protected by magic, but they need to know the Angel of Death is coming.

Unfortunately, signs of Frisk’s presence are visible at every turn as I find piles and piles of dust scattered amongst the Echo Flowers, the stark white a glaring accusation against the dark blue stone. Every one of them seem to be blaming me, asking why I haven’t done a single thing to help them. The most I have done is doom them.

Where is Undyne? Did she find Frisk? Does she even know what’s happening?

I’m not sure, so I head straight for her house, stopping in my tracks when I reach the Ponds. The little bird is nowhere to be found. Did Frisk kill it, too?

I shove down my guilt and form a bridge over the water, walking over it with forced ease before turning left to the captain’s house. Judging by her dark windows, she’s not home, but I still knock on the door. Unsurprisingly, there’s no response, but it was worth trying.

I leave her property and head in the direction of Temmie Village, briefly glancing down the hall to Gerson’s shop to find it empty. I don’t see dust, but his absence is enough to put me on edge even more. If he’s gone, then Frisk has already been through here.

I continue to follow the path, finding piles of dust at every turn the whole way through to the room with the darkening lanterns. An eerie silence hangs in the air as I leave the room and follow the path to the left and up, my ears straining for any sound beyond the faint echoes of rushing water. It’s then that I hear it: a battle cry.

I pick up the pace, kicking up the water on the path and awakening the silent Echo Flowers. Frisk is already fighting Undyne, and the captain has absolutely no chance now.

I’m about to turn the corner when I run straight into Merrick, and Cody yelps from the impact. I jump back and see Merrick’s wild, frantic eyes can barely focus on me as he looks over his shoulders multiple times.

“Merrick-” I start.

“Undyne! She’s… she’s hurt!” Merrick exclaims. “That human, she… she tried to hurt me, but Undyne came out of nowhere and took the hit. P- please, help her.”

“Go find your family and get as far away from here as possible,” I tell him. “I’ll take care of the  _ human _ .”

He nods and takes off back to Snowdin, hopefully to find his family. I hope and pray that Frisk didn’t kill them. If she did… horror cuts into me at the thought of what he’ll see.

As much as I want to go with him, I can’t abandon Undyne. At least Merrick’s safe from now on, the captain and the rest of the Underground are not.

I head back to the dry path that leads to the lantern room and place Cody on the ground. I crouch to his eye level and cup my hands on either side of his head so he’ll look at me.

“Listen carefully; I want you to go with Merrick. Make sure he gets somewhere safe,” I tell Cody.

Puppy immediately shakes his head, “No, I’m staying with you.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” I insist. “ _ Please _ , get as far from here as possible.”

“Not going to happen,” he objects.

“Cody-”

“ _ No _ .”

He pulls his head out of my hands and takes off into the water, back towards Frisk.

“Cody!” I yell, sprinting after him.

He charges through the water and turns the corner, into the room flashing with bursts of cyan light. I follow and stop in my tracks when I see the battle on the bridge, realizing for the first time that Undyne has never been just a captain, she’s a  _ warrior _ .

Gone is her nondescript suit of bulky gray armor, a uniform that could have been for any Royal Guard. Instead, she wears sleeker obsidian armor with winged shoulder guards and a crimson heart in the center of her chest. Her hair is still pulled up in its traditional ponytail, but something about it seems higher, more like a flag being waved in challenge instead of defeat. In the darkness of her empty left eye socket, a long yellow spear shines, beginning in the center and moving either up or down each time its light fades in and out. 

The Determination human stands in front of the heroine, tightly gripping that kitchen knife coated in dust. The hopeful side of me says she has no chance of winning, but the logical side says that even with the captain’s enhanced strength, this fight is still Frisk’s to win.

Little paws press against my leg and I look down to see Cody gesturing towards Undyne, urging me to fight. I push him back and charge forward, creating a sword and aiming straight for Frisk’s head. Unfortunately, whether by magic or somehow seeing me earlier, she ducks in time for a cyan spear to slam into my chest, throwing me flat on my back.

“Krista?” Undyne snarls in surprise, a hint of guilt and concern simmering under her furious tone.

“You always come just in time to mess everything up, don’t you?” Frisk asks, rolling her shoulders.

The motion makes my eyes drift to where I stabbed her earlier, seeing not a single trace of blood.

What the hell?

“Oh yeah, did I mention that Saving heals me? Any injuries that you inflict can be wiped away with a touch of a golden star. I’m guessing your powers weren’t that strong, were they?”

I grit my teeth and force myself up, creating a long spear. “I guess I’ll just have to make sure you die this time.”

Frisk smirks, “So rude yet so weak. Are you just mad that I’m taking away everything you care about? How about we add more bodies to my  _ extensive  _ list of kills.”

“Not on my watch,” Undyne growls, forming hundreds of spears, a mixture of cyan and yellow.

I form just as many purple ones, willing as much potential pain into them as possible.

Frisk simply shrugs, “So desperate.”

Undyne and I send our spears, getting many into Frisk, but not as much as I would think. Somehow, someway, she’s able to dodge hundreds, jumping around them on the narrow bridge. But what she also does is block them with that little kitchen knife. How is it possible that steel can defy  _ magic _ ?

At the same time, Frisk heads for Undyne, ignoring my attacks and angling that knife for her throat.

“You have fought well, Captain, but a battle is not as fun with a  _ nuisance  _ for an audience. What do you say we end this now so your death will be faster?”

Undyne laughs, “You can try it, wimp, but you’re going to  _ lose _ .”

Frisk slashes for the captain in response and cuts into her shoulder with one clean swipe. However, it’s as if Undyne never even felt it as she summons more and more spears, sending them at the human in intricate patterns.

I get as close to Frisk as possible, unafraid of that knife as she keeps her attacks focused on Undyne. It gives me the advantage as I reach out with my magic, intending to grab her SOUL. 

The second my magic touches her, she whips her head around in a blind rage but also… panic.

“Bitch!” she snarls, swinging that knife around for me.

I can’t help the smirk that twitches at the corner of my lips as Undyne takes the opportunity to send a spear straight through Frisk’s heart. 

The girl’s eyes widen as she stops her advance, the blood draining from her face.

“Try again?” I ask, raising an eyebrow as she collapses to the ground.

In the silence that follows, I look up at Undyne, slightly surprised to see anger on her face.

“I didn’t need your help,” she snarls.

“Sure you didn’t,” I reply, my tone coated in sarcasm. The captain grits her teeth, about to retort when I add, “She made it personal; I couldn’t resist.”

“What do you mean?” Undyne asks.

“Papyrus is dead, so is about a third of the Underground.”

Her eye widens just as the Reset takes effect, sending me back to the lantern room. 

I put Cody on the ground and take off in a sprint, not bothering to explain what’s happening. I actually hope his confusion will keep him back, just long enough that he’ll be safe.

I make it to the bridge in time to see Frisk raise her knife towards Merrick, and I throw a blast of magic over his head to slam right into her chest. Frisk hits the bridge flat on her back, and Merrick turns in surprise, his eyes filled with relief.

I run towards him as Frisk gets up, intending to shove him behind me when she leaps up and stabs Merrick in the back. His little SOUL shatters in an instant, and a battle cry rings behind Frisk as Undyne leaps from the rock archway. She lunges for the girl and Frisk gracefully pivots, slashing across Undyne’s chest. The captain halts, her body immediately trembling at the impact.

“So you inadvertently let me get another kill in. Thanks for that, Krista,” Frisk says as Undyne’s body begins to shimmer.

“Looks like we’ll have to kill you again to fix that mistake,” I say, forming a sword.

“I’d be impressed if  _ you  _ actually hit me now that my L.O.V.E is even higher,” Frisk smirks as Undyne’s shimmering body disappears, transforming into the black-armored warrior.

Frisk flips around and immediately slices across Undyne’s chest, but the captain merely scoffs at the attack.

“You’re gonna have to try a little harder than  _ that _ !” she announces triumphantly.

“Oh, I intend to,” Frisk hisses in amusement. “But first… I think we should get rid of  _ you _ , Krista. I wouldn’t want you to exhaust yourself just yet.”

She leaps forward and tries to shove me off the bridge, but I stop her with a blast of magic, sending her straight towards Undyne’s waiting spears. Unfortunately, Frisk expects the attack and drops into a crouch a second away from hitting the spears. In one smooth movement, she pivots and stabs up into Undyne’s left lung, making the captain wince from the impact.

“Not even  _ that  _ is good enough to hurt me,” she snarls.

Frisk barks out a single laugh, “Finally a challenge.”

I race forward to attack again, and Frisk spins around, making a clear show of her intention to throw the knife. I drop to the ground as it soars over my head, feeling a twinge of suspicion at her clear warning. But then I understand when I hear the yelp of pain from my puppy.

The blatant horror that undoubtedly contorts my face makes Frisk smile. “You didn’t think I noticed him, your curious little puppy?”

I slowly begin to look back, afraid of what I’ll see when I’m suddenly shoved off the bridge. 

My heart nearly seizes as I look up to see Frisk standing where I once was, battling with Undyne. The pure shock and terror of what happened to Cody makes me freeze and forget what I have to do. 

Magic, I need to use my  _ magic  _ if I want to stay alive.

I fumble for it and make a narrow platform that I catch myself on, the impact of stopping so suddenly reverberating in my bones. 

Stupid,  _ so  _ stupid that I can’t do anything. Frisk keeps shoving me out of the picture so she can kill everyone else, and I’m not doing anything good enough to stop her.

I look up to see flashes of cyan and yellow, hoping that Undyne is winning the fight. I’m about to send my platform up to reach them when a voice hums in the distance to my left.

“Hmm, it seems she’s getting what she wants,” Jex muses, his golden eyes peering through the darkness. In this dim light, it’s difficult to see him, which makes me fear this could be one of Chara’s tricks.

I turn away in annoyance, prepared to send myself up when his voice in my head stops me.  _ “Those purple stars are getting awfully close to magenta. Do you wish for my assistance yet?” _

I look back at him, searching for proof that it’s actually  _ Jex _ . But isn’t it? Chara has never spoken in my head when she’s appeared as an illusion. I bite my lip, contemplating his offer.

_ “I never actually got you your island,” _ is my response.

_ “No, but you did try. You made the first step. I think that is an honorable attempt to fulfill your end of our bargain.” _

I glance back up at the fight on the distant bridge. Is it best to just ask Jex for help? That’s what I wanted in the first place, isn’t it? But…

_ “I can only use your help once, right?” _

_ “Correct.” _

I look back up and bite my lip. Can Undyne beat her? Should I not even ponder the question?

I hesitantly respond,  _ “If Undyne loses, I will cash in my favor.” _

_ “Done.” _

With that, I propel my magic upwards, sending me to the bridge that is now empty. When I reach it, I hear the fighting to my right, but I can’t help but look to my left. The sight immediately brings tears to my eyes, proving there’s just one more SOUL I have failed.

Frisk had ripped the knife out of his lungs, resulting in the wide pool of blood around his little body. Cody’s eyes are closed, and he lies on his side with most of his white fur saturated with the red fluid.

I place a shaky hand on his head, and more tears fall at the lack of warmth. It’s not as bad as when Flowey killed him in terms of stiffness, but I think the blood makes this death far more brutal.

“I’m so, so sorry, puppy,” I whisper, hating myself for causing this. Maybe I should have explained to him the danger of what waited on this bridge. But then again, I know he would have never abandoned me.

The distant sounds of the fight eventually bring me back to the present, reminding me that there are still _living_ people who need me. I wipe away my remaining tears and give Cody a few more strokes, feeling the urge to do something with his body. But where I could I even bury him? Why should I? Isn’t Frisk going to Reset in a matter of a couple hours anyway?

I force myself to my feet and back away, channeling my magic to remind myself of what I need to do. In only a few steps, my back hits something and I turn around to see Jex towering over me.

“Your friend is dead and the Determination heads for Hotland,” he says. “I will fulfill my end of the deal before she makes it with the promise of a painful death.”

I can only nod as he turns and races off towards the stone archway, disappearing into the hallway beyond. I hear Frisk’s screams echo off the rocks in seconds, disrupting the eerie silence of Waterfall, but they bring me no satisfaction. Exhaustion wears at me instead as the pain and guilt of failing nearly suffocates me.

Jex appears around the corner I don’t even know how much later.

“My end of the bargain is fulfilled. I expect my island the next time you reach the Surface,” he says, his voice gentle despite the insistent demand.

“Yes sir,” is all I say, only briefly glancing up at his golden eyes.

He jumps back down into the shadows as a Load kicks into place, taking me back to Cody’s lifeless body. I stand up and face the other end of the path, hearing nothing but silence until Frisk strides around the corner with a smug smirk.

“I Saved the second after I killed Undyne, too bad for you that Jex did nothing but waste everyone’s time a little longer,” Frisk says, although I see a slight vacancy in her eyes. It’s as if the death he brought to her was so horrific it is unspeakable.

I only glare at her as I debate what the best method would be to kill her.

“Well, I’ll see you later,” she smirks, shaking off her temporarily distant gaze and walking back towards Hotland.

My fingers curl into fists, but I stay put, realizing what I do here won’t change her. The only time she is going to pay attention to me is when she’s had her fun. She doesn’t see any value in killing me until we’re in the hall of golden light.

Fine then, if that’s what she wants, then I will ensure I have the power to make her finally learn what real hell feels like.


	16. The Final Loss

Guilt nearly strangles me as I take the shortest route to the Judgement Hall, only passing a handful of people who I warn to get as far away from here as possible. Apparently, Alphys is evacuating the monsters to caves deeper underground, ones designated specifically for these circumstances. If I was more of a coward, I’d be tempted to go with them. But I hate myself too much to allow that. I am right where I need to be, and live or die, the Judgement Hall is where I’ll stay for the rest of this run.

I stand at about the halfway point in the Hall, utterly alone as the golden light bathes the right side of my face. My magic stirs with impatience, but I refuse to use any as I keep searching and searching for its depths. I’ll need every ounce I have to make her suffer, but even then, it will be nothing compared to what she deserves.

A chill runs through me in apprehension, a reminder of what failing this final time will lead to. I’ve already let the monsters down, but if Frisk succeeds, I will let _humanity_ down as well. I guess I don’t owe anyone anything, but what has been the point of my survival if I don’t put the little power I have to use? In the end, I need to remember the good things that have been given to me, the kindnesses and reasons to smile. _They_ are what I’m fighting for, what I so desperately want to survive.

I suddenly feel the presence of a fractured SOUL to my right, and I wait for him to speak first, unsure of what his mood is.

“You’re not allowed to die,” Sans says, his voice so solemn I can’t help but believe he’s saying it out of genuine sincerity. I’m sure it’s partially because he’s already concluded that Cody is dead.

“Neither are you,” I respond, keeping my gaze locked on the entrance at the other end of the Hall.

“I’m… sorry for what I said. Your life does matter to me just as much as Papyrus’.”

“Sure,” is all I say, not really believing his words. I think that people _can_ reveal their true feelings in fits of anger, feelings they would never voice otherwise. When it comes to Sans, I can’t help but think that’s true. As much as I love him, I still haven’t forgotten what he said that day in Hotland.

“Krista, I don’t want us to be torn apart when we’re minutes away from fighting her,” Sans says, his voice low.

“Well maybe you should have thought of that earlier,” I say, keeping my voice flat and hating myself for the comment the second it leaves me.

He sighs, “I just-”

“Oh, I’m so glad you’ve both been waiting for me!” Frisk chirps as she turns the corner, her hands and sweater coated in dust.

I take a deep breath and cross my arms, feeling my magic flare in preparation as the Determination nears. Unfortunately, I think she can sense my anticipation as she abruptly stops only a few feet away, a teasing smile pinching at the corner of her mouth.

“You’ve been busy,” Sans says, ever the picture of a calm, unfazed sentry who’s seen it all.

“And you’ve been awfully antisocial. What’s the matter?” Frisk asks, her tone so smug I have to restrain my magic to keep it from lashing out at her.

“I’ve gotta ask, do you think even the worst person can change?” Sans asks, his question surprising me. Why would he even care to wonder that? Wouldn’t he of all people wholeheartedly believe the answer is no?

“Can everyone be a good person, if they just try?” he adds, reminding me of all those months ago when I told the boys I wasn’t a good person. Back then, they believed I was since I was trying to be better. I can’t say the same for Frisk.

The girl only smirks in response and steps closer, clearly itching for a fight.

Sans chuckles in amusement, and I fight the urge to look at him to see his expression. “Here’s a better question then: do you wanna have a bad time? Cause if you take one more step, you are **really** not going to like what happens next.”

Frisk’s teasing smirk widens and she takes a single step forward, now only a yard away.

“Y’know, I bet it’s a beautiful day on the Surface,” Sans says, stepping closer to Frisk while slightly nudging me back. “Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you… should be burning in **hell**.”

Frisk is about to say something when bones shoot up underneath her and she’s slammed into them. Before she has a chance to scream, she’s thrown through a wave of bones that shred pieces of her flesh off. Then four blasters surround her and fire off in various patterns, completely obliterating her by the time Sans fires off the third set.

All the warmth vanishes from my body at the sheer _power_ of Sans’ attacks, power so immense it decimated Frisk in only a few blows.

“How?” is all I can ask in merely a whisper as I finally look at my brother.

He shrugs, “I’ve been practicing.”

I step back, “I don’t think anyone can get that powerful from just _practice_.”

“Krista,” he squints, “are you… _afraid_ of me?”

“No,” I immediately respond, even though a chill runs down my spine.

That kind of power… Papyrus has never been that strong, Undyne has never been that violent, _Gaster_ was never that powerful. Either this is just the result of Frisk having so much L.O.V.E, or Sans has been holding back all this time.

So much for that so-called “condition,” _he_ is by far the most powerful monster in the Underground. Better yet, he’s even stronger than me.

“You are,” Sans says, hurt crossing his face.

“It’s not you, it’s just… that kind of _power_ ,” I say in a whisper, as if I’m afraid to awaken his wrath.

“The blasters?” he asks.

“Yes,” I say, finding an easy way out of admitting the core of what I fear. It’s that he’s been hiding this strength all along, and he… he could have saved so many monsters. Why didn’t he fight earlier? Why did he let them die? Well… I guess I’m just as guilty.

“Remember, the only reason I can do that much damage is because she’s so strong, okay? Remember when we sparred? I wasn’t able to do any damage to you, and I still can’t. It’s all about my opponents,” Sans says.

I slowly nod, seeing the reasoning, but I can’t forget what he did so soon.

“Now eventually, she’s going to learn how to avoid my attacks, that’s when I’ll need your help, okay? Can I count on you?”

I finally make eye contact with him and definitively say, “Yes, I will fight with you.”

The world suddenly Loads back to when Frisk stood before us, but now her face is scrunched with both curiosity and frustration.

“I’m good at my job, aren’t I?” Sans asks in a teasing voice. “I bet you thought this was going to be cakewalk, didn’t you? Welp, sorry, it won’t be.”

Frisk lunges forward and Sans turns her SOUL blue, sending her down to the spiked bones he forms in a single second. Only this time, she jumps to avoid them and dodges most of the bones in the long wave he sends her through. He throws four sets of blasters around her, and she masterfully avoids the first three while only getting slightly grazed by the last set.

But Sans doesn’t seem to be bothered by her dodges as he only shrugs and says, “I’ve always wondered why people never use their strongest attacks first.”

Then he sends waves upon waves of bone bullets at her, ones she struggles to cleanly dodge as the jagged edges graze her skin. The fight ends only a few seconds later when one bone skewers her through the heart.

“I won’t need your help now, but when she gets good enough at dodging, I’ll need you to step in,” Sans says, glaring at Frisk’s mutilated body.

“What do you want me to do in the meantime?” I ask, trusting his power enough that all I would do is get in the way if I tried to help.

“Do you think it’d be too much to get Asgore’s help? He seems to be oblivious to all that’s happened.”

“I can talk to him, but would it matter if Frisk is going to Load so soon?”

“She’ll catch on eventually, there’s only so much I can do in terms of attacks. When the fight begins to last more than a minute, I’d say get him.”

I nod as the Load takes effect and Frisk storms toward us, not even attempting to hide her anger. I notice a new knife rests in her dust-coated palm. The blade is much longer with a slight curve to it meant for cutting flesh instead of vegetables.

“Where’d you get that neat little tool?” I sneer as Sans begins his attacks.

Frisk dodges with more precision this time and lunges to strike Sans when he merely steps out of her arm’s reach.

“None of your business, _bitch_ ,” Frisk snarls, leaping back to avoid a handful of bones Sans sends right for her face.

My brother merely throws a dozen bullets straight into her back in response.

“You know, I’ve been called that word so much it’s losing its effect,” I say, unable to take my eyes away from Frisk’s fresh corpse.

“It’s not a word that applies to you,” Sans quickly says, his tone sharp.

“Isn’t it?” I ask, raising an eyebrow as the Load takes effect.

He never responds to my question as the fight continues on and on.

Load. Die. Load. Die. Load. Die. Frisk keeps fighting and fighting, never giving up despite how fast Sans kills her. However, I start to notice each Load taking a little longer. Even though Sans’ attacks are never exactly the same, Frisk is seemingly beginning to… _predict_ them.

She almost never gets close enough to hit Sans, and on the rare chances she does, he gracefully dodges. I stay out of the way, slightly hidden by a pillar along the wall facing the windows per Sans’ request. I keep feeling the urge to help, and Frisk even taunts me to use my magic. But every time I look to Sans for his opinion, he always shakes his head. It’s as if he’s saying, _“It’s not worth it for both of us to be defenseless.”_

I understand his reasoning. Once Sans reaches his limit and Frisk is stupid enough to keep fighting, I’ll step in to make sure she goes no further. But I can’t help myself every now and then, especially when she gets too close to him. I send an attack of my own towards Frisk that’s either enough to distract or injure her on those occasions.

I’ve lost track of how many Loads have occurred, but the current one feels like it’s the longest it’s ever been. Frisk and Sans seem to know it, too, as my brother suddenly stops sending his attacks. I look at him in surprise to realize he’s sweating pretty bad, and a pinch of concern makes me fear he’ll dust himself.

But Sans doesn’t show any sign of exhaustion beyond that except for his heavy breathing.

“Look,” he says through breaths, “we can keep going at this for years, but does any of it really matter? I know there was a time not too long ago when you wanted to do the right thing. Is the real Frisk still somewhere in there?”

Frisk’s face twitches in surprise and she wipes away some of the blood running down her face. Sans’ words seem to bring a slight sense of clarity back into her eyes, too.

“I know there’s a way to undo this, a way to make everything right. Will you make the right choice?” Sans asks, sounding nothing but sincere. But I know he’s actually testing her, to see if even a shred of _Frisk_ remains.

The girl steps forward, her deep red eyes flicking back and forth between us in question.

“Come on, it’s okay,” Sans says as she approaches.

Distrust makes my magic coil in apprehension as she gets closer and closer, the knife hanging limply in her grasp.

Frisk stops merely an arm’s length from Sans, her gaze fixated on the floor. To a stranger, she would seem defeated, a child ready to surrender. But I see her fingers twitch around the knife to grasp it tighter, and I instinctively throw out a flash of magic, sending her to the other side of the Hall.

“Well, it seems like you want to do things the hard way,” Sans says, shortcutting the two of them to the opposite side of the Hall where he throws even more bullets at her.

Frisk is vigilant enough to dodge the majority of them, but I can tell Sans’ shortcuts are throwing off her focus. In addition, my brother includes even more intricate patterns mixed with normal and blue bullets. Then he throws in little blasters amongst the chaos all the while shortcutting them to different areas of the Hall. At one point, they’re near the ceiling and the next he’s sending her careening into the windows, shattering the one closest to the exit for the Throne Room.

“If there was any time to go, Krista, now would be it,” Sans snaps from across the Hall, now near the other exit to the City.

I hesitantly back away, watching for any indication that he might lose without me being nearby. But based on Frisk’s sudden scream of frustration, Sans has got it covered.

I turn and sprint for the Throne Room, bursting into the serene garden in only a few seconds. Asgore turns around, once again holding that green watering can. The surprise on his face makes my anger spike and I yell, “Do you have any idea what’s been going on out there!?”

He flinches and places the can on the ground, “What happened?”

“Are you serious!? Your entire kingdom is either dead or evacuating as we speak! And you’re here watering flowers as if it’s another normal day.”

He’s about to say something when a flash of green tears across his chest, the blow so powerful he collapses to his knees.

“Wha-” I barely say when hundreds of white dots surround Asgore and slam into his body. “Flowey!” I scream as the king dusts and his SOUL emerges from the remains. More friendliness pellets encircle the SOUL and tear it to shreds, ensuring that nothing remains of the king beyond the giant pile of dust.

Flowey pops up from underground, his expression grim unlike the smugness I’m used to.

“You bastard!” I hiss, stepping towards him when he puts up two vines in surrender.

“If I didn’t do it, then she’d kill _me_!” the flower argues.

“Oh, and _your_ life is so important!? More important than the few who remain!?” I shriek.

A single huff of laughter makes his little body shudder, “Well… yeah.”

I look down at him and force as much superiority into my voice as possible. “You are worth _nothing_ Flowey Dreemurr, and I hope you regret this decision _very_ soon,” I snarl, turning away to head back to the Hall. I’ve been gone too long already.

Flowey doesn’t try to stop me as my pace quickens, and I turn the corner to the Hall, nearly collapsing with relief to see Sans is still fighting Frisk. But my relief is short-lived as I see the pure exhaustion on Sans’ face at the other end of the room. I need to step in _now_.

I’m about to charge into the Hall when he encircles hundreds of blasters around Frisk, _so close_ to killing her when she unfortunately remains standing after the last one fires. I only take a step forward, thinking that would be Sans’ final attack when he grabs Frisk’s SOUL with blue magic, throwing her into anything and everything in the Hall. His eye flashes a furious blue with a hint of yellow as he slams her into the floor, the ceiling, the pillars, the windows. Sickening crunches of breaking bones echo through the serene Hall with each impact, until finally… he drops her broken body to the ground.

“That’s… it,” he wheezes, his eyes returning to normal. 

He shortcuts back to where we stood when this all began, staring down the broken Determination human.

I cautiously approach him to stand by his side, all my focus and concern on him rather than Frisk.

“Sans,” I whisper, gently placing a hand on his shoulder to feel him shaking like a frightened kitten. He needs healing, or at the very least, a day’s worth of rest. The most I can offer is carrying him home, but I don’t know if I want to risk leaving the Determination human alone.

Frisk groans as she pushes herself up, allowing little whimpers of pain to escape her bloody lips.

“That was good,” she snarls, spitting blood with each word. “A better fight than all of them combined.”

I approach her with silent steps, suspicion making me cautious despite how clearly defenseless she is.

“My only regret… will be that I didn’t get to fight you both at the same time,” she smirks, inching back to the end of the Hall.

Realization hits me a second too late as she flips onto her stomach and crawls as fast as she can to a golden star I can’t see. This timeline is still hers, which means her Save points could be anywhere. That _has_ to be it.

I sprint as fast as I can to stop her, but she reaches it right before I reach her, causing a flash of light that nearly blinds me. Before I know it, Frisk leaps up and slices my forehead with a knife I wasn’t looking for.

I think I hear my brother say my name, but I can’t be sure as I fall back and hit the ground on my stomach. Instinct sends enough panic through me that I flip around to see Frisk towering over me, fully healed.

“Oh yeah, this is _far_ more entertaining,” she smirks as blood trickles through my eyebrow and slides onto my eyelid. I swipe it away with my sleeve as she plunges that knife down, aiming for my heart.

I form a wall of purple light between us and block her, gritting my teeth at the sheer strength of her attack. _This_ is what a high Level Of ViolencE is, and even worse, this is when a _Determination_ possesses it. But I’m still too stubborn to roll over and die.

I shove her back and leap up to my feet, forming a sword along with hundreds of spikes, angling them at her from every direction.

“You are going to regret everything you’ve ever done to hurt them,” I hiss.

Frisk merely smirks, “I doubt it.”

I send the spikes at her, but to my horror, she masterfully dodges them. She’s had so much practice with Sans, she’s ready for anything.

I wipe away the new layer of blood pouring into my eye and reach for her SOUL, hoping I can take control of it before she gets the upper hand again.

Frisk immediately recognizes what I’m trying to do and chucks her knife at me. “Not going to work!”

I block the knife and it clatters to the ground, but I’m too dazed to grab it. Her SOUL… it’s so, so strong, more than any monster or Magic Whisperer or human I’ve ever felt. The only creature stronger than her would be…

I strengthen my sword and lunge for her, but she meets my attack with a block of her own, metal to magic. I can be stronger than this; I _have_ to be stronger than this. So I infuse my desires into my magic, desire to melt that knife and slice into her shoulder.

Frisk’s eyes widen as I focus, feeling all my anger and frustration seep into my magic as it melts away the knife. But just as I’m about to split it in half, Frisk pivots, the sudden loss of her resistance making me fall forward to catch my balance. I whip around to attack and she buries that knife into my left shoulder, the sudden burst of pain making me scream.

“You’re just not good enough,” Frisk whispers as she rips the knife out.

The immense pain makes my head spin, but I ignore it as best as I can and forget logic. I forget strategy and planning and simply _attack_ , sending wave after wave of magic at her.

The blind, vicious method works at first; it definitely throws off _her_ focus as I attack over and over. I make sure that each wave contains its own form of pain: burning, freezing, or biting. Every little pain _I_ know, _she_ discovers. And with each wave, I make sure that pain lingers, like little droplets of acid melting into her skin to dissolve her bones.

But I don’t realize how much effort it’s taking me to make her feel the pain until blood trickles from my nose. I faintly notice the blood on my forehead has dried around the edges, and it takes all my willpower to ignore the pain in my shoulder. I know I’m pushing myself to my limits, to use such a sadistic method as to make her feel nearly every form of pain I know. But it’s as if the pain barely bothers her, sure she screams, but that smug smirk keeps creeping onto her face as I continue to push her back. Is she planning something?

I’m vaguely aware that Sans is still somewhere in the Hall, but I can’t take my focus off Frisk long enough to look for him. All I can hope is that he’s still alive.

“It was fun, Krista,” Frisk finally says when we’re almost near the Hall’s halfway point. Blood stains her shirt in various spots, and I can see the blatant pain in her eyes, but other than that, she’s doing a masterful job at seeming as healed as she was when she Saved. “But I’ve grown bored of you trying so hard; your brother was actually far more entertaining.”

“Too bad you’re stuck with me,” I hiss, forming a sword that I swing at her, just barely missing her neck when she ducks and slams her fist into my shoulder. The blow is so immense that I fall to my knees and scream when I feel her bury that knife into my right calf. I expect Frisk to finally end me when she rips it out, but instead, she does something _far_ worse.

I look up through my hazy vision and spot Sans leaning against one of the pillars by a window, fighting to stay on his feet as Frisk corners him. In a last ditch effort, I desperately throw out any speck of magic I have left towards Frisk. The attack hits home, but Frisk is so focused on her target that it barely affects her, even as my attack burns away part of her left shoulder.

I try to force myself to my feet, but my leg shrieks in pain the second I put pressure on it. This is exactly what she wanted, for us to exhaust ourselves to the point that she has an undeniable victory. And now… all I can do is watch in horror as she slashes that knife across my brother’s chest. Blood stains his white shirt, and even though I know it’s mine, the sight still horrifies me.

“Hmph, I guess my work here is done,” Frisk muses as she heads for the end of the Hall. “Now come along Krista, we have someone to meet with.”

I ignore her and push myself up, heavily limping until my leg can’t take it anymore and I crawl the rest of the way to my brother.

“Krista,” Sans says in a faint whisper when I finally reach him, slumped against the pillar.

“Shh, I’m gonna try to heal it,” I say, denying the obvious truth that I can’t heal. But I have to try. I _have_ to.

“Krista,” he says again as my remaining wisps of magic fight to repair the wound. But the attempt is worthless as my magic does absolutely nothing; I’m no healer, all I can do is destroy. 

Through the tear in his shirt, I can see that Frisk had shredded straight through his ribcage. The cut is so deep, I know it would be impossible for even Roman to heal… because Sans’ bones are already thinning into dust. 

“ _Damn it_ ,” I hiss, my tears now welled up to the point that I can barely see anything. “I’m sorry, I’m _so_ sorry.”

It’s all I can say… because I failed him, I failed all of them.

“Krista,” he says a third time as fresh blood drips from my nose. Why am I so damn useless!? Why can’t I do anything right!? Why does everyone I love die?

A gloved hand strokes the uninjured side of my face, forcing me to look up at him. There’s no anger in his face, no judgement, just pure, genuine concern… concern for _me_.

“Don’t try to fight her anymore. Get as far away from here as possible. Find the rest of the monsters,” Sans whispers.

“I can’t leave you!” I argue, refusing to recognize the painful truth. Sans is going to die, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

“Frisk is going to get her way, and none of us were strong enough. It was worth a shot, wasn’t it?” he asks, wincing as his hand falls from my face.

“No, Sans, _please_ ,” I try to reason, as if I can stop his death through sheer denial.

He gives me a final, faint smile… and then he crumbles into dust.

I stare in horror… or is it shock? I don’t know, but I’m shaking more and more as time passes. I think I distantly feel pain in my shoulder, in my leg, on my forehead, but none of that matters because Sans is _dead_ . My brother… who had survived so much… is now dead… because of _her_ . Or… is it because of _me_?

Fingers suddenly dig into the gaping wound in my left shoulder and I scream as they wrench me away from my brother. I try to fight, to stay with him, but the figure drags me along, tutting in disapproval.

“Come on, we can’t wait all day,” Frisk groans as I thrash and scream as much as possible, causing black spots to fill my vision.

She takes me to the Throne Room and throws me against the left wall, only a few feet away from the king’s dust.

Flowey pops out of the ground and gives her a shy grin. “See? See what I did for _you_? I can be useful! I’m very helpful! I can… I can…” His voice crumbles into one of a child, one very similar to Asriel’s. “Please don’t kill me!”

Frisk merely smiles, nothing human in her expression as she takes that knife and hacks him to pieces, over and over until not even a speck of dust is left. With that final murder, that final ounce of L.O.V.E, the world blacks out and a figure appears in front of Frisk, a girl about the same age in a green sweater with a yellow stripe.

Panic nearly seizes me as I slam my back against the wall, every instinct in me screaming to get as far away from here as possible. But I can barely move as fresh blood pours from my wounds.

“Well done, Frisk. You’ve exceeded my expectations in every way,” Chara says, a sweet, sadistic smile spreading across her face.

“Thank you, partner,” Frisk says. “Now how shall we forge our empire?”

“Oh, about that,” Chara muses, tapping her chin. “I’ve decided that there isn’t enough room for _two_ Determination humans in this world. It would be best if one of us ceased to exist.”

Frisk’s face slackens with shock, revealing the girl underneath who had no idea what she was getting into. The child so desperate to find some form of power and control in her helpless life. It’s even as if some sort of… veil has been lifted from her vacant eyes to bring back her true personality. “Wh- what do you mean?”

“You will give me your SOUL, and I will let everyone know what a noble sacrifice you made for _my_ new world,” Chara declares.

“I- I thought we were partners,” Frisk says, shaking her head and blinking her eyes as if she was just under a spell.

“We were, but now I have no other use for you.”

“N- no. It’s my SOUL,” Frisk demands, lifting her knife before looking at it in horror, as if she’s finally realizing what she did.

“Oh?” Chara’s smile is so sickening that nausea nearly chokes me, and I realize the one final use I can have, the only thing that just might spare this world.

“Take mine!” I yell, shoving myself closer to them despite how much I don’t want to. I stare at Chara, the demon that has haunted me nearly my whole life... and reveal my SOUL to her, freely offering it. “Take my SOUL instead. You wanted it before, here it is.”

Chara just smiles, not even looking at me. “Oh, little girl, you had your chance. Now… I have no use for your pitiful little ounces of strength. There is no value in a SOUL that isn’t red.”

Frisk pales and she takes a single step back. “ _I’m_ the one with the power here.”

“Really? You must have misunderstood,” Chara says, her red eyes darkening to black pits, “since when were _you_ the one in control?”

Before Frisk can move, Chara lunges forward and rips her SOUL straight out of her chest, the bright red glow illuminating this dark world. Frisk gasps as the superior Determination human admires it, offering a final sweet smile as black vines appear out of nowhere. In a second, they shred Frisk to pieces, so fast and brutal that she can’t even react.

The Queen of the Void chuckles and places the SOUL in her own chest, absorbing it with a hum of accomplishment, perhaps her greatest accomplishment ever. The world lightens back to the Throne Room as if nothing happened, as if the world didn’t finally reach its end. 

The birds that used to chirp and hop through the vines above are silent, maybe they’ve even left, knowing what sort of demon now walks the earth in a physical body. Even the Ceiling Stars have dimmed, making the golden flowers look more gray than yellow.

Chara rolls her fingers around, allowing little wisps of red to dance over her knuckles. Then she looks down at her shabby outfit and merely waves it away, revealing something far more suitable for a queen. A frilly light green dress that falls to her knees with yellow leggings and bright green boots. Like Gaster’s gray and black, I’m guessing bright green and yellow are her favorite colors.

“Oh, this will be so much fun!” she squeals as if no one can hear her. She leans down and strokes the golden flowers, her eyes nearly widening with childish wonder at the sensation. She said she was empty for all those years in the Void. Is she remembering what it’s like to be human? But then she finally lands her gaze on me and any speck of warmth I have leaves. There is nothing _human_ about her.

“I must thank you the most, my pet,” she says, approaching me. I slam my back against the wall and shove my SOUL back where it belongs, hating the sheer weakness of the action but unable to do anything else as she crouches in front of me.

God… the **power** she has, it’s so immense and twisted and sickening. Her depthless eyes say she can bend Death itself to her will, something I wouldn’t dare deny.

“Taking your family away was only the beginning. For all the problems you’ve caused me, don’t you think I deserve justice?” Chara asks.

I try to swallow the lump in my throat as an ache pounds through my head, unable to come up with a response.

“Let’s see,” Chara hums, lifting up a hand to count on her fingers. “You cost me my Riverperson, you gave Gaster an excuse to escape my control, you made things difficult for my Determination human, you’ve defied my wishes countless times, and above all… you still haven’t accepted the fact that _you don’t deserve happiness_. I think that all sounds like reasonable cause to punish you, doesn’t it?”

“N- no,” I’m able to say, feeling an ounce of defiance despite the blatant stupidity of it.

Chara’s eyes darken in disapproval and she rips my SOUL out in one swift motion. The sensation of her power containing my very being makes me want to crawl out of my own skin, but I can’t do anything as she tilts the purple heart around in observance.

“Frisk did a good job,” she hums. “Or well, I guess you could say _I_ did.”

“You controlled her,” I whisper, placing the final piece in the puzzle. 

“Not at first, I merely _shoved_ her to the edge until it was almost too easy to manipulate her. She did most of the killing, but I will admit that I… clouded her judgement. It’s quite easy to push violent feelings to the surface and smother the person who once existed. I simply exploited all the miserable emotions she had in light of her family’s death. It’s a method I’ve perfected after all the practice I had with your dad. Only, instead of draining who she was with negative actions, I enforced her power with them so she had a strong SOUL built on a Level Of ViolencE. Determinations are surprisingly the easiest SOULs to tempt with the promise of power.”

“And is that just what you want? Power?” I sneer, forgetting for a moment how vulnerable I am.

She shakes her head, “I want something _far_ greater than that. However, in order to achieve my goal, it does require me to gain power, a task I am certain you wouldn’t understand the logistics of.”

I tremble from the urge to attack her, but it’s almost like lead is slithering through my veins, forcing my limbs into numb heaviness.

Chara tilts her head in observance, as if she knows exactly how I feel. “You’ve pretty much reached your limits. Are you tired, little girl? Has today worn you out?”

Her words are as thick and sweetly syrupy as molasses, if I didn’t know who they belonged to, I might be tempted to close my eyes, to allow myself to let my guard down. Instead, I keep my eyes wide open, forcing myself to only focus on getting my SOUL back.

“Not at all, I can keep going,” I hiss, so very tempted to lunge for my SOUL.

Something like amusement flickers in Chara’s eyes. “I’m glad to hear that… because I have plans for us.”

She throws my SOUL back to me and I gasp with relief as the faintest bit of warmth returns to my chilled blood.

“Before we begin, I think we need to establish exactly _why_ this has to happen,” Chara smirks, her hand suddenly snapping forward and ripping my necklace off.

I lunge for her and she merely presses a finger against my injured shoulder, infusing such an overwhelming surge of magic that I nearly black out.

“You have been my greatest failure for over a year. The girl who survived, the Perseverant that refused to break… well now you’ll finally understand that giving up would be the wiser option. Honestly, it will make this so much easier for everyone.”

Chara tilts her head in thought as she crushes my locket into hundreds of tiny pieces. Something snaps inside me and I leap forward, ensnaring my hands around her thin throat.

“It’s _you_ who deserves all the pain, no one else,” I snarl.

Chara merely flicks a finger and I’m thrown across the room, my back slamming into the stone wall.

“As I was saying,” she huffs, striding towards me, “when you finally _do_ give up, I’m going to bring back the world you love so much, only for you to watch me destroy the monsters all over again. Then, you will help me _fix_ the Surface so all humans will have the lives they were meant to endure. It will be the perfect culmination of all your failures, which will in turn redeem my failure of allowing you to live for so long. Might as well put your worthless carcass to use, right?”

I struggle to push myself up and Chara grabs my right wrist, wrenching me up only to tear off my pear bracelet. She crushes the peridot gems into dust and brushes them off her fingers like dirt. “Of course, I’ll do all that after a few hundred runs of killing your poor excuse for a family over and over. I’m so happy that Sans will remember all of it.”

I try one more time to attack, to make her feel _some_ sort of pain when she wraps those black vines around my body, pinning me against the wall. They coil around my shoulders and legs, tightening so much that one of them ends up ripping off my boots to wrap around my ankles. I feel my panic rising, this helplessness, this defenselessness, how many times have I said that I refuse to be this weak again? Yet here I am, feeling more helpless than I’ve ever been in my life.

“Take a deep breath, little Perseverant,” she coos as if I’m overreacting. Through my spotty vision, I watch her switch back to her sweater and dark brown pants, as if they’re working clothes. “I can’t get blood on my pretty dress,” she chirps before bringing up a Save screen without the need of a golden star. “Let’s mark our starting time.”

She Saves and finally drops those black coils, allowing me to collapse to the ground. Chara giggles and red light fills my peripheral vision. Out of either fear or stupidity, I look up to see her smirking down at me, a globe of red light floating above her palm.

“And when I finally tire of eradicating the monsters and playing with timelines, you will be the only SOUL I take to the Surface. Up there, you will be my executioner, obedient to my every command. You will become everything you have fought so desperately to avoid: empty, cold, a slave to your guilt and helplessness. Don’t worry, even as a gray SOUL, you will still have magic. In fact, I have high hopes that you will become the most powerful gray SOUL in history. _Together_ , we will decide which SOULs are worthy of this life. We will eradicate the murderers and the tormentors; you will be able to do some good in your life. Doesn’t that sound like a future worth agreeing to?”

And the cost: everything I am and everyone I’ve ever loved. It’s what I deserve… isn’t it? I can’t help the tears that prick at the corners of my eyes as I realize what is going to happen. The physical punishment comes first, and after this timeline, she will bring them back over and over, breaking me down into a creature of obedience. I will accept that I can never win and no one will survive. Except me… with guilt to slowly bleed out the remnants of who I am. In the end… it will be just her and I, queen and slave. 

I will finally pay for the bits of happiness I’ve known. I will pay for my father’s window of rebellion that gave me the chance to live. I will pay for all my sins, the ones that make me no better than the Queen of Death before me.

Chara smiles, as if she can read my thoughts and they’re twins to her own. 

“Let’s begin.”

***

A silence unlike any Lissaria had endured in a millenium weighed upon the Underground. She knew the Perseverant had failed, and now the girl would pay the price at the hands of the Determination queen. Jex told her the secluded Ceiling Stars were now a fierce dark red, all traces of purple eliminated from their hues.

Lissaria wasn’t sure whether to be disappointed or horrified by the fact that Krista was now entirely alone. Well… aside from the fact that _Lissaria_ was still there, still connected to her. She could only feel extreme emotions through the Death Vow, and now she felt nothing but raw terror bleeding into agony. If she strained to listen, she could hear those distant screams. Krista was finally facing her worst nightmare, and Lissaria could do absolutely nothing to help.

She wasn’t sure if she even _wanted_ to help; she didn’t owe Krista anything. But deep down, she did feel concern for the girl. The last remaining heir of the Meadows family, a family she respected for their unflinching resolve to do what they believed was right. She also understood the guilt Krista now felt in her failure and the regret that would haunt her for the rest of her life. They were more alike than the Whisperer wanted to admit. After all, they both failed those they loved.

Lissaria wasn’t sure what would happen when it was all over. If Krista had even a chance of prevailing or if Chara was the definitive victor all along. The Whisperer could only see pieces of the future, and with something as uncertain as Fate’s favor or lack thereof towards magic wielders, nothing was set in stone. She preferred not to entertain the ideas when all they did was make her want to choose a side. Jex constantly reminded her of the importance of remaining neutral. It was practically the only duty of a Magic Whisperer, to lend their powers to anyone, both arguably good and almost certainly evil.

But she couldn’t help that yearning feeling to help the little queen, a title that was laughably worthless considering Krista had no power and no people remaining. The only thing Lissaria could offer was a single option, a single key to temporary bliss. It was like Krista’s deal with Jex, only good for one turn but satisfying enough in results that it was worth it to use.

The only question that now plagued Lissaria’s mind: Would the Perseverant be desperate- no… _broken_ enough to accept her offer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you all are _well_ aware that I don't shy away from writing violence, but this next chapter... I am leaving a warning here to let you know that it is **brutal**. I can honestly say it was one of the most difficult chapters for me to write so far. There is only one *** break in it in which the perspective is from a character's you haven't read yet. It provides some meaningful insight into that character's thoughts, so if you'd like to skip Krista's perspective, just look for the break.


	17. Nameless

For the past nine years, I have always thought I knew pain. First Mom, then my father’s abuse, then his and Mable’s deaths, then the lab, then Flowey, then learning the truth about my family, and finally… Frisk. But there was a crucial detail I ignored, the fact that all of that pain connected to people I loved. There was either the pain of a loss or a fear of losing someone tied into all of them.

Now… I have no one to lose. I have nothing and no one to worry about but myself. So why does this feel like it hurts more than all of them combined? Is it because I’m really that selfish? Or is it because this pain is the greatest proof that I am a failure? I don’t hurt because I _lost_ someone; I hurt because I _failed_ to save them. I _could have_ stopped it, and all I did was mildly inconvenience the enemy.

Does this justify the physical pain I feel now? The peeling of my skin off my bones? The shattering of kneecaps and the steady streams of blood from veins? The constant deaths that offer no relief as I’m brought back within a matter of seconds? I don’t know. I just don’t know as my thoughts jumble into incoherence, dragging me farther and farther away from the initial memories of what brought me here.

I don’t know how long we’ve been in this room of golden flowers and dark green ivy. The girl who seems much more like an all-powerful goddess doesn’t speak as she works, surprising some part of me for some reason. She calls me her pet, sometimes her slave; I don’t know which word is more accurate.

I’m forgetting the faces of the people I know I still care about… for some reason. Aren’t they dead? Why do I still care? All it does is deepen that gaping hole in my chest, the void filled with so much guilt and regret I’d drown if I tried to sift through it. The names of those people are all but distant memories, a mess of vowels and consonants that I can no longer place in the right order. I can more accurately draw up knowledge of a language written entirely in symbols than the one I know I was raised with.

What have I become? What even _am_ I? What made me a being worthy of this torture? The girl says it’s because I am _me_ , apparently that’s good enough to justify her actions. Should I believe that? I know this isn’t all I’ve ever known, but it’s all I can conjure in my closest memories of what is right and how the world is meant to be.

There is no rest despite how immeasurably _exhausted_ I am. I find myself wishing for nothing but a few minutes to close my eyes, to fall into the forgotten abyss of unconsciousness. There is no food, despite the pain in my stomach that begs for nourishment. What kinds of food even exist? Does the girl know? There is no water; all I have is the taste of my tears and blood. I don’t know what else exists beyond that salty bite and coppery tang. 

Time Resets when my tormentor deems her work too damaging to continue, as if there’s no fun in picking away at the remaining bits of unharmed flesh. Sometimes, she takes her time when we begin, starting with small pains that grow to unbearable agony. Those black vines always pin me to the ground, ensuring I can’t fight as she has her way. I only try when some hidden, surging force tells me to, some feeling that says this is wrong, that I shouldn’t tolerate this. It doesn’t come very often, but when it does, I do everything imaginable to get away from her.

I never get far, but I still frustrate her for some reason. I get the sense that she wants something from me, but I’m not sure what it is.

My little rebellions never end well; she doubles the torture, if I could say that’s even possible. She takes longer when I try to run, instead of breaking my hands, she starts by removing my fingernails one at a time, digging her little red knives underneath them. Some days, she’ll only focus on my arm or a leg, only… she never touches my right arm and she never deliberately attacks my back. When the pain is more bearable than normal, I wonder why she never hurts them. I wonder... until it’s like she can read my thoughts and she forces me back to the present, to the reality of what I have to endure. 

But one day… after a lifetime of knowing nothing but this dim room of flowers and ivy, she changes it up.

The time begins with as healed as I can ever be, with a wound on my forehead, in my left shoulder, and in my right calf. My knees press into the cool earth and I bow my head, waiting for those black coils to wrap around my throat and squeeze. Instead, I feel her fingers thread through the hair on the back of my skull. The motion makes me freeze with fear at the new sensation. It’s… gentle, a word that I know can only connect to one of those distant people. But then she curls her fingers and _twists_ , nearly tearing my hair from its roots as she yanks me forward and drags me out of the room.

“Now that you’re conditioned, let’s go on a little trip,” she chirps, dragging me into a glorious golden Hall.

The sight makes an image flash in my head: a face, a face of… is it called a skeleton?

The girl jerks me up to my feet and I obediently follow, deeply limping as the familiar pain in my leg bites and warms with fresh blood. She keeps my eyes on the checkered floor, half-pulling half-dragging me to the exit that leads to a stone floor.

I suddenly hear doors open and I’m thrown into a new room, something a distant memory whispers is an elevator.

“Aren’t field trips just the best?” she asks, using some of her red-black power to activate the machine instead of using one of the many buttons on the back wall.

Her words spark a new memory in my mind’s eye, a memory of a different, taller skeleton. One with a constantly cold expression that led me through that same Hall.

“Gaster,” I say, surprised to hear my own voice. Is that what it sounds like? All I can remember is my screams and whimpers. Why do I like how my voice sounds when it speaks words? It sounds so sweet and simple, unlike the cold, harsh bites of orders that come from the girl.

Her deep red eyes fix a steady glare on me. _“What?”_

“Gaster… was his name,” I whisper, a memory of anger and disgust bubbling up along with it. Whoever he was, he was probably as bad as the girl, but… he still existed. I knew another person in this life besides this wicked, hateful girl.

“Why did that suddenly come into your brain, _pet_?” the girl snarls.

“I-” I try to think of a reason, but then the elevator doors open and I forget searching for one… because a million are right in front of me.

Dark, teal-green walls loom beyond the doors, the air more frigid than the room I’ve known all my life. Or perhaps I haven’t known it all my life.

This place… it feels _so_ familiar, as if it's the second home I've forgotten about. Why do I feel so afraid yet so relieved to see this place?

“Let’s _go_ ,” the girl hisses, shoving me forward and leading me down the hall.

She walks only a step in front of me, but it’s enough for another memory to flash in my mind: a scientist walking ahead and pausing, allow me to recover from the overwhelming pain in my right arm. Is that why she won’t touch my arm? Does it link to him?

She turns several times in this maze of green, until she finally stops in front of a small room. There is a platform on both the left and right walls as well as a door directly across from the entrance. 

The girl shoves me into the room and I fall to the ground, catching myself just in time to keep my head safe.

“I have some things to do before we continue,” she hisses prior to storming off. I turn to see a veil of black magic encompassing the doorway. It’s just thin enough that I can see the hallway beyond but intimidating enough to tell me I shouldn’t mess with it.

I push myself up into a sitting position, in awe of this new environment. My gaze travels over the walls, a distant feeling telling me this place is bad news. But I don’t consider it until I spot a camera on the ceiling and my panic finally kicks in.

Memories… or dreams… flash in my head. A white lab coat, a purple SOUL held in a skeletal hand, a calendar, four SOULs in glass tubes, a towering black creature, and… my very bones.

My fingers fumble for my right sleeve and I yank it back, revealing a deep red wound with veins spreading out of it. A feeling tells me this isn’t the same injury I received here, but it has damaged me just as much.

I’m about to touch the wound when I hear a distant howl, or is it a scream? I lunge back and hide under the platform slightly hidden from the door. A distant whisper tells me this is the safest place I’ll ever find down here.

I keep my eyes on the veil of black, wondering if the girl will return to remind me why I don’t even deserve the past few minutes of peace I have been given. But nothing appears in the hallway. Instead, a flash of white suddenly appears in my peripheral vision, and I look straight ahead to see an enormous furry creature walk through the wall. It doesn’t have a face, but faces emerge in the shadows between its numerous legs, all bearing various expressions of concern.

A single word comes to mind at the sight of it, a word that may possibly be inaccurate, but it’s all I can think of.

“Y- you’re,” I try to say, winded at how massive it is. “A dog,” I’m able to get out.

A low whimper rumbles from the creature and it suddenly lies down in front of me, still so tall I have peek out from under the platform to see its head.

A smaller white creature flashes in my mind, and a sudden sob tears out of me when its face comes into focus.

“Cody,” I whimper, pressing a hand against my face. “My puppy.”

The creature inches closer, an arm’s length away from me. I stare at one of those shadowed faces; it bears a similar expression to how I feel.

“You understand, don’t you?” I ask.

The face seems to nod in response and I crawl forward, reaching for one of its furry white legs. My fingers stroke the incredibly soft fur and fresh tears well up all over again.

“You know how it feels,” I whimper as I finally break down, hugging that dog with all of the little strength I have. The main head nuzzles the top of my own, promising safety and security, warming me against this frigid air.

I don’t know how long I cry, but I start to feel that pull of exhaustion when the dog suddenly shudders and whines in pain. I pull back in fear that I hurt it when I see it’s turning to face something behind it. The dog slightly growls as it digs its paws into the ground and its fur stands up, fiercely protective.

“Puppy?” I whisper in concern when it shudders again and obliterates into dust.

I scream and a hand slams against my throat, practically shattering my wind pipe.

“I leave for all of ten minutes and you start making friends,” the girl snarls, nearly covered from head to toe in yellow and silver blood.

The stench is so overwhelming in this small place that I gag and heave up whatever is in my stomach. Unsurprisingly, it’s just water and acidic bile that scalds my throat.

My tormentor sighs in annoyance and the scent vanishes. I look up to see her perfectly clean now, as perfect as she’s always been.

“Let’s go somewhere else,” she says, grabbing my hair and wrenching me forward.

She drags me back to the elevator, unceremoniously throwing me in and sending us off to a new torture location. When the doors open, an immense wave of heat hits me, a jarring juxtaposition to the freezing cold of that teal-green place. The walls here are made of dark blue stone and the path ahead is a deep orange.

I can’t admire it for long as she drags me forward and turns to the right, throwing me onto the ground to see a bridge in front of me. Across the bridge though… lies an orange dragon with its guts ripped out. Its eyes are closed and its mouth hangs open, revealing a neon green tongue.

Something tells me that it shouldn’t be possible, that Chara shouldn’t be able to do that to a Magic Whisperer.

My eyes widen in surprise as the name comes to mind and I look over my shoulder. “Chara,” I say, staring into those red eyes. “Your name is Chara, and he… he was a Magic Whisperer.”

My gaze drifts down to my right arm as another memory tries to surface. A distant voice seems to coax me to think, to _remember_.

 _You’re so close,_ it seems to whisper. Close to knowing what?

Chara suddenly grabs my chin, and snaps my head up, forcing me to look at her.

“You have no right to say my name. You are _nothing_ , and I am _God_ . And you deserve to be punished for even uttering a thing as sacred as _my_ name,” she snarls, bringing up a black menu and Saving.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as fear finally comes back to me.

“Too late,” she hisses, wrapping her hand around my throat and dragging me forward. I don’t realize where we’re going until it’s too late and I’m thrown over a cliff… into the lake of lava below.

I’m alive again in a millisecond, but it doesn’t matter as she throws me into the lava over and over. Sometimes she forces me to hang on to the edge of the cliff, taunting me to pull myself back up. Other times she forces me farther down to grasp the scalding stone that eventually melts my flesh.

I realize that I’ve always been afraid of lava, but I didn’t truly understand a good reason for it until now. Now I know how it _feels_ to be burned by it.

Most of the time, I think I die before I even touch it. Other times… she forces me under the orange surface, ensuring I stay alive _just_ long enough to feel the sheer agony before she lets me die.

I don’t know how long it goes on until she goes back to the Save point and drags me to the left instead of towards the cliff. I gasp in surprise and she merely smirks as she throws me down a flight of steps to the remaining spit of orange land that yields to a calm river.

My eyes snap up to her and she creates an extravagant black boat. There’s a throne in its center and a small deck in front of it, one that she throws me onto before sending us down the river. Even though I know Chara sits on the throne behind me, I can’t help but stare at the deep blue waters in shock. The tingle of so many memories fighting to resurface makes my head throb. Why can’t I remember? What is keeping me from knowing what this place is?

The questions don’t seem to matter when we pass fields of glowing cyan flowers and waterfalls roaring as they flow into the river. The ceiling sparkles with thousands of white, blue, cyan, and purple lights. It’s _so_ beautiful, more beauty than I’ve ever seen in my life.

But Chara quickly reminds me of my place when her dark vines pin me on my back and wrap around my head, hindering me from seeing the gorgeous cavern.

“What makes you think you deserve to gaze upon such beauty?” Chara chides, clicking her tongue in disapproval.

I don’t respond as the air begins to chill, a winter wind suddenly biting my cheeks. Something cold lands on my lips and melts: sweet, delicious water. Snow… it’s snowing, and a new surge of memories makes me thrash against the vines. I know this place. I _know_ it.

“Oh, calm down. We wouldn’t want you to exhaust yourself too much,” Chara chirps, yanking me up and throwing me onto a frozen ground. The vines around my arms disappear, but the one around my head remains, forcing me to stay still as the cold leaches away any warmth I have.

It’s cruel, so cruel for her to force me to burn in the lava for so long and now make me freeze.

“Come, come,” she muses, digging her hands into the middle of my back to grasp my shirt. But what she doesn’t realize is that it unlocks something in me… that pain… my sensitive right shoulder blade. It’s all I need to remember.

A cold winter’s night that feels so long ago, my bleeding hands tied to a pear tree, my body preparing for the crack of a whip. Then I’m dragging myself across the frozen ground, my only goal to get to that little house. A girl calls my name… what is it again? I can’t hear it, but I do see her face, framed by deep brown hair and dominated by stunning, bright green eyes. My sister, my best friend, the only person I’ve ever needed to protect.

 _Mable_. 

I took those wounds for her… but it was never enough.

Another set of green eyes flash in my mind. A man with blond hair. A man whose eyes fade to gray. My first tormentor, but… it wasn’t his fault, was it? He was my dad, and he loved me. He _loved_ me… didn’t he? Am I a being even worth loving? Do I offer anything to the world that validates that kind of genuine care and concern?

Purple eyes appear next to him, belonging to the face of a woman who looks so much like me, or at least, that’s what a distant memory says. We have the same heart-shaped face, the same delicate nose, the same dark hair, and the same purple eyes. How is it possible that something like me came from someone so beautiful? It must be a mistake. My mess of a memory must be tricking me.

But more details continue to appear as I feel myself being dragged across the snow. More memories of faces, of people… people who matter to me. They look so different from those first three faces, yet for some unknown reason, I love them all the same.

Two skeletons are the most prominent faces in those distant memories, beings so different from me in appearance yet so similar in values and experiences. Don’t the three of us know something that no one else does? What secrets have I only told them?

What happened to all those people I care about so dearly? Did they abandon me? Did they find someone better? Or… my focus drifts back to the present as I realize I can’t feel anything in my toes or fingers. My socks are soaked by melted snow, and my hands continuously touch the frozen ground when I fall.

Did _she_ take them from me? Is she punishing me for something I never did? Did she do all this just to make herself feel some sense of power?

I’m suddenly thrown to the ground and the vine around my head disappears. It’s dark now, the distant lights on the ceiling are so dim they’re like the stars I remember gazing at long ago.

We’re in a forest of leafless trees, but to my far left I spot a clearing, a clearing in which a frozen lake resides. A figure rests on the bank and I squint to see it’s a giant white creature, its body devoid of breath.

I look to the girl in horror but also feel a flicker of anger, of defiance.

“You’ve taken… _everything_ from me,” I say, my head beginning to throb as the pieces fall into place. 

My home, my friends, my family, my life, anything and everything that makes me _me_ , the good parts, the ones worth living for, she ensured I forgot them, ensured I was weak enough to allow her to hurt me. Why did I let this happen? Why didn’t I fight her?

Chara smiles, the sight so sickening I want to run as far from her as possible. “You want to know why this happened? Do you want to remember what all those people you love so much think about you?”

She steps forward and I immediately crawl back, hitting a tree in only a few feet. Her smile simply widens as she reaches out a hand and grabs a fistful of my hair, holding my head in place. “I think it’s time I try out the gifts of the Magic Whisperers,” she whispers as my eyes snap shut.

I expect an attack, but only darkness greets me, darkness that the shadows thrive in, along with the voices of the truths I’ve ignored.

 _“No one is going to save you; you’ll never escape this. I control your life,”_ my father’s voice whispers.

 _“I’m done with you for the day, you can either lay there and die, for all I care, or you can follow,”_ Gaster’s cold, unforgiving tone.

 _“You’re a monster,”_ my grandfather.

I try to tell myself the words don’t matter since each of them didn’t care about me. The words from my father weren’t even _his_ , not directly.

But then I hear the one voice that is supposed to care about me: my brother, the one person whose opinion matters more than anyone else’s. But… he’s not _really_ my brother. There’s someone he values more, his _real_ brother. I don’t matter as much… and that’s okay. I don’t truly matter that much to anyone. Why should I? But then… why does his opinion matter so much to me?

_“You let him kill your sister.”_

Those six words nearly shatter my heart, making me remember _everything_ . They’re dead. They are _all_ dead because of me. Every face suddenly has a name, a story, a history, and a life that ended because of _my_ failure. The only thing I can’t remember: my name. But it doesn’t matter, it _shouldn’t_ matter. Why would something as wretched and miserable as me be worthy of a _name_?

 _“Do you remember what you said that same day, my pet?”_ Chara says in the distance.

“There isn’t enough torture for me to endure that could make up for my failure,” I find myself saying, feeling her pull the memory from the dark, muddled depths of my mind.

“Correct. You’ve always known that you _deserve_ this. You can try to fight, but you know you should allow it to happen because you are _selfish_ , you are _weak_ , and you are _worthless_.”

I’m pulled back to the present and she towers over me, her finger tapping the Save button. “Now, my pet, how shall we continue in this new environment?”

I don’t say anything as I’m suddenly torn between accepting this and fighting. I don’t know what I deserve. Is this justified or should I try to get away?

It’s like she can read my mind as something flickers in her eyes. “Since you’re suddenly taking a trip down memory lane, how about we reminisce the first time we directly interacted?”

I squint just the slightest in question when her black vines snap around my wrists and twist me to face the tree. They squeeze tighter and tighter as my breathing speeds up, fear making me realize what she’s going to do.

“You remember this, don’t you? If I recall correctly, you’ve had nightmares about being this vulnerable for years. Won’t it be a relief to finally relive it?”

My breaths cloud the air as they become faster and faster, my body tensing in apprehension of the blow. Unlike before, she doesn’t wait long, and I hear the whip crack in seconds, the impact more painful than I ever remember it being. Her magic shreds my upper back, and I know all the hair beneath my shoulders has been cut along with it.

My face slams into the tree from the strength of the lash, and I cry out like the pathetic, kicked little creature I am.

Chara doesn’t give me a moment to breathe as she lashes again and again and _again_. The bite of that deep-cutting pain against the numbness of the cold air makes me so lightheaded I nearly beg anyone and anything to make me pass out. But the girl doesn’t allow it. I know she goes back to her Save point, continuously “healing” my wounds only to shred me apart all over again.

Most of the time, I can’t help the screams that tear out of my raw throat. But when I’m nearing that unreachable bliss of unconsciousness, I can only whimper, _so_ close to stepping out of this world for only a second. But that peace never comes.

When she’s satisfied with her work after what feels like hours of endless torture, the black vines fall away. She shoves me onto my side and I assess the damage of this round, unsure what’s real and what’s just the ghost of all the pain I’ve felt. I finally feel a slash straight across my shoulder blades and one connecting from my left shoulder to the right side of my lower back.

What looks to be a foot and a half of my hair lies at the base of the tree, and I feel something splinter inside me. I know it shouldn’t matter, hair grows back, and at the rate we’re going, I’ll have it all in a few minutes. But I can’t deny that slight sorrow at the fact that it was a part of me, a part of the identity of whoever I was before all this. And now Chara has taken that, too.

“What to do now?” Chara muses, creating a small knife made of red magic. 

She studies the blade in question, debating her options when a voice whispers in my head, _“Perseverant.”_

I don’t dare respond in fear that this could be another trick, but the voice says again, _“Perseverant.”_

 _“Who are you?”_ is my only mental response back.

_“You have sealed me off this whole time. If only you had done this when you didn’t need me.”_

I don’t know what this smooth, sly voice is implying, so I don’t respond.

Chara makes up her mind after prattling on and on, seemingly content that no one cares what she has to say.

I get the sense that she can tell I don’t care when she suddenly smiles, “You’ve been tuning me out, haven’t you?”

I’m about to shake my head when she slashes that knife in one smooth motion, cutting deep into my right eye socket and across the bridge of my nose. I scream with what little my voice has left as everything to my right disappears. There is only darkness and my left eye frantically fights to take on the burden of seeing everything.

“There have been so many people missing eyes down here. Why not add you to the list?” Chara giggles as I struggle to breathe and my body tries to comprehend what hurts the most. 

_“I can only offer you a single escape,”_ the voice suddenly pipes up again. _“You know what to do to your right arm.”_

I tremble as my head turns to look at my right arm. That wound, it’s supposed to do something, isn’t it? I can’t remember the specifics, but I know the promise of an escape is true. I can get out; I can be free of Chara. I can die on my own terms.

I look up at her and she seems to be lost in her gloating, bragging on and on about how clever she is. I curl my arm closer to myself, not even feeling the numbing bite of the snow anymore. If I can just scratch that wound without her knowing…

Her eyes look away and I take my chance, ready more than ever to tear that flesh off my arm. My stubbed fingernails just barely touch my blood-stained sleeve when a new pain unlike I’ve ever known burns my right shoulder. I try to jerk my arm away and I end up rolling over… leaving my right arm behind.

Pure horror overwhelms me as I look to my left to see my entire right arm lying in the snow. She… she…

“I was wondering if Lissaria was benevolent enough to remind you of that escape method. How interesting that it took her this long to motivate you,” Chara muses, approaching me.

She _wanted_ me to try that; she pretended to be distracted on purpose. Why was I so stupid to believe that voice? Maybe it’s working for Chara; maybe it was Chara herself getting in my head so she’d have an excuse to dismember my arm.

“Now we have just a couple more things to do,” Chara chirps, Saving and grabbing what’s left of my hair, dragging me toward that frozen lake.

I don’t fight; I _can’t_ fight. I don’t know if I’m in shock or I’m too cold as blood pours out of me from every wound. A crimson trail follows behind us, and I can only stare with my single eye, fighting to ignore the unbearable throbbing where my right eye used to be.

We pass the white creature’s corpse and Chara throws me near a hole in the ice. It’s just large enough that the creature must have fit through it, and the still water is already glazed over with a sheen of ice.

I don’t know what she plans to do; I can’t even think about the pain that is to come when I’m so overwhelmed with all I’m feeling now. Why can’t I just pass out? Or better yet die? How am I still awake after all of this? Is she causing it or is it some innate urge to survive?

The questions leave me when she turns me around and plunges my head through the thin ice, submerging everything to my shoulders under the frozen waters. It is so unexpected that I can’t breathe _at all_ , but she only keeps me under for a few seconds. Then she pulls me up and I gasp for air, unable to see anything as water clouds my vision.

The relief only lasts a few seconds before she forces me under again and again and again. Every question, every wonder, even the memories that attempt to resurface, none of them matter as I merely fight to _breathe_. It’s all I have left, and it’s exactly what she wants.

Chara finally throws me flat on my back and I try to roll over to cough up the remaining water when I feel something cut deep into my lower left ribs. Blood rises up my throat in less than a minute and she keeps my shoulders pinned, refusing to let me roll over.

“You die on _my_ terms,” she snarls, her eyes losing the little clarity they used to have, like an animal going into a feeding frenzy.

I don’t think, whether it’s anger or simply the need to survive, I don’t know as I spit all the blood and water right into her red eyes.

Chara screams and I flip over to my stomach, pulling myself forward with any strength I have left. I have no idea how much blood I’ve lost, but I can’t imagine having enough to stay alive as so much pours from my right shoulder.

“You think you’re going to get anywhere?” she scoffs, taking two steps and slamming her foot right on the wound between my shoulder blades.

I lost my voice too long ago to scream and only a pained whimper escapes my failing lungs.

“ _No one_ is going to save you. No one cares what you’ve been through or what I’ve done to you. No one loves you because you are _unlovable_ . You killed all of them and now you’re trying to run away like the selfish coward that you are. Too afraid to face what you've done, pet? Too guilty to admit that you were never strong enough in the first place? Well, at least you're getting what you deserve, especially now that you're entirely _alone_.”

She’s not wrong, and it’s a truth I accept.

Chara laughs, “Why don’t you beg? Why don’t you just ask, ‘Please, Queen Chara, please have mercy?’ It’s possible this could have all been avoided.”

“Pl- please,” I’m able to wheeze and she leans down, expecting to hear what she wants. Instead, I say what _I_ want. “D- don’t do this to anyone else.”

She jerks up, rage rolling off her in waves of powerful magic. “You think you’re so high and mighty? You think you’re such a _queen_? What are you sacrificing? What good does enduring this do for anyone?”

I look at that creature’s carcass and think of my brothers, my sister, my friends, my… people. It always has been and always will be for _them_. The few that survived, they’re far from here by now. And those that are gone… if I die, the memories of them die with me.

Tears of sorrow, not pain, finally fill my eye, sorrow that I had forgotten them in the first place. _That_ is why I live. For them, not myself, it’s always them. And even if they don’t care about me as much as I care about them, they still give my life meaning.

“I pity you,” I whisper.

 _“What?”_ Chara snarls as my eye closes. “Hey! You die on _my_ terms.”

I can sense her trying to Load her Save, but it never occurs. A familiar stir of warmth fills my chest… _magic_. I had forgotten how it feels.

This run is over, and it ends because _I_ say so.

***

Chara didn’t know how it happened, how her grip was lost and regained so quickly. It was like a stuttered breath after a long cry… not that _she’d_ know anything about that. She didn’t know how the Perseverant did it, how seconds away from death, she denied her attempt to Load the Save file. How was that possible? She was the strongest being in the universe! How did the little bitch do it?

Chara began shaking with rage as she stared down at the broken body of the Perseverant. That was the problem, she was broken _physically_ , not mentally, not in the way that Chara had hoped to achieve. Sure, Krista had forgotten who she was after the first three hundred Loads, but those little fits of defiance forced Chara to continue, to search for that core of who she was and shatter it. The Determination queen never found the Perseverant’s true _soul_ , whatever it was within her that allowed her to smile again after years of misery.

How could she ever make Krista become a gray SOUL? Chara’s entire goal hinged on it, on ensuring her greatest weapon would never turn against her. It was the perfect plan: to treat herself with enjoying the power of timelines while simultaneously breaking down the Perseverant. If she _really_ wanted to, she figured she could face the Surface alone, but that was quite the risk. Despite all her power and the advantage of magic, Chara needed at least one ally, however forced that relationship may be. Taking the Surface would be her greatest challenge, but once she had a seat of power, her true work would finally begin. 

It wasn’t power she wanted, although that was a nice perk; it was forming the world into her image of what was _right_. A world in which no one knew less pain than the other. The children who grew up like her would be grateful, and the spoiled children like Krista would be given the truth of reality. Misery and death were the only certainties in life, so why should someone have less of it than another? Perhaps Chara could work at improving the world, but for now… her greatest hope was to eradicate those who contributed more misery to the world than necessary and bring it to those who never understood. She would destroy herself in the process, she already had, but was it worth it? She was already seeing the potential benefits.

The idea made her think of a different route: offer Krista a final grace period of happiness before throwing her back down to her place. After all, Krista actually had the _audacity_ to say she pitied Chara! How could she when Chara was the one who had everything? What could _she_ not have that Krista possessed? The Determination had control of _time_ , and what did the Perseverant have? She was nothing but a dead, frozen body drained of its life and forgotten in the dark. _That_ was what Krista was, and once she understood it, Chara would finally be able to shape her into the obedient tool she wanted.

With her new powers, Chara was able to get slight glimpses into Krista’s mind, and she realized the error in her methods far too late. It would have been better if she’d torn apart the Perseverant in the snow first, to rip into her mind and destroy every fragile emotion that connected to some positive memory. Then she should have taken her to the lab to torment her, then finally any place that didn’t have too many connections to her past, where Chara would wipe her mind clean to create an obedient, destroyed SOUL. Unfortunately, Chara had spent so much time thinking about getting to this point that she didn’t plan out the specifics. She had gotten caught up in the immense amounts of newfound power. At least she knew what to do for next time; she was practically certain it would be quite fun to do similar things to Sans. Maybe if she destroyed him, it would be easier to get to Krista.

It was less of a challenge to kill the Magic Whisperers than she’d imagined. Chara had hoped she’d be able to take their powers through their SOULs, but she wasn’t as adept as she wanted to be with her new magic. She couldn’t figure out how to even capture their SOULs, and they traveled to the Otherworld before she could get the chance to enslave them.

A chill shivered across Chara’s shoulders as she thought of that failure, and she shook them in frustration, remembering just one of the many downfalls of a physical body. For the first time in centuries, she was actually _cold_. Chara had forgotten how many weaknesses that reminded her of. It didn’t help that even after all her efforts, she felt like she’d barely made any progress, and she felt… disappointed in herself.

Chara scoffed and left the dead Perseverant, heading for Waterfall. Unfortunately, despite all her power, she hadn’t attempted the art of teleportation since gaining her physical form. She definitely wasn’t going to try it out when Krista was alive in case anything went wrong. So she tried it now and smirked with satisfaction when she appeared in front of one of the many doors to the Void in Waterfall. What a wonderful trick to use in the near future.

It was now time for her to reveal the good news, to fulfill her promise to her people. They could now be free to roam the empty Underground… for about the next hour before she Reset. As loyal as they were, they’d be useless on the Surface. The least she could do was reward them with a speck of freedom. The reminder of just how _closely_ that related to her childhood made her shake her head in a brief rage. This timeline was over, and she needed to practice all of her powers on new victims before tormenting the Perseverant again in the next one.

Chara waved away her bloody outfit in lieu of that frilly dress she imagined wearing. It was an outfit she wore on Remember Day her first year in the Underground. As much as anyone would deny her formerly SOULless being to be anything like the _real_ Chara, she could still be sentimental.

Besides, she was better than that Chara anyway. She was also a superior version to the person she efficiently forced Frisk into becoming. Chara admitted that she might have been a bit over the top with Frisk’s mannerisms, but it was just too fun to have an obedient puppet again. In the end, no other Determination human would ever compare to _her_ , which was why only she could remain to have the world, to have the throne she always deserved. As much as her desires were to reshape the world, Chara could admit her selfishness was also a factor. Unlike Krista who was so fearful and judgemental of her miniscule wishes, Chara embraced hers, which was why Krista would never understand what it was like to be powerful. 

Chara knew exactly what it was like to experience what Krista had been through growing up, in fact, she replicated many of her own tormentor’s techniques. She was constantly shoved into the shadows, beaten and ignored. Even when she found the Dreemurrs, the closest thing she ever had to a family, she was never truly understood or accepted. 

When Chara was in the lab, about to leave to kill Wenzandrik, she found those old magic tapes, the ones Asriel so carelessly “filmed” with the “lens cap” on. It was actually spheres of miniscule Integrity magic that captured short moments of real life and preserved them. The king had said the magic was a gift from one of the Meadows family members, merely a few weeks before the end of the war. Asriel never wanted to waste too much of those small gifts, so he only used the magic to capture audio. He said magic images took care of helping them remember what they looked like while the spheres would capture their voices, something he felt was far more precious. 

Asgore had converted those spheres of moments onto VHS tapes once the monsters gained the technology, figuring it’d be easier to ignore them when they were locked up in physical objects than magical spheres. He didn’t have the heart to destroy those memories, but he sure as hell didn’t want to be reminded of them.

Chara couldn’t help but smirk as she remembered those days, how much time was wasted from doing anything _important_. Asriel got what he deserved, and she would soon as well.

After a little combing of her short hair and ensuring all traces of Krista’s disgusting blood and spit were gone, Chara fixed a smug expression to her face and opened the door to the Void.

She let her power rise to the surface, simmering off of her in ways that made her subjects cower. Even after all this time of torturing the Perseverant, her power was barely depleted. Of course, some of it was an act; it _had_ to be. How else could she appear to be so confident and self-assured? But under the surface… Chara was harboring some doubts and dare she admit… _fears_.

The grayed monsters inched closer as she walked farther into the dark room, standing in the center of the gathered peasants.

“My friends,” she announced pridefully, “we did it.”

The monsters cheered and Chara held her hand out in the direction of the door. “You are all free. The Underground is yours just like I promised. Just keep in mind, I am and always will be your queen.”

They cheered again and headed for the door, bowing deeply to her as they passed the threshold into the slightly warmer air of Waterfall.

Chara stared after them as they left, feeling so satisfied by their gratitude that she began to wonder if this was enough...

 _No_ , it would never be. The world needed to be _fixed_ , and she would feel no guilt about leaving those monsters locked up in the Void for eternity if it meant she would finally get what she wanted and deserved. 

The Perseverant thought she had it bad? She never stopped to consider why Chara was so good at torture, at manipulating people; the Determination human had learned from the best: her own mother. But none of that mattered now. Chara was eons better than that beaten little child she was nearly a thousand years ago. She was a queen and a goddess who answered to no one. And soon, everyone and everything on the Surface would be the way she wanted them to be.

The presence of one last little SOUL in the Void caught Chara’s attention and she leaped out of her own thoughts, forcing herself to remember who she was _now_. Her Majesty, Queen Chara of the Void and the Underground. She deserved a title like that from the very beginning. But now that she knew every damaging pain that life had to offer, it was the least that Fate owed her.

“Why won’t you leave, Lily?” Chara asked sweetly, turning to face the little lizard monster.

Lily ducked her head and Chara strode up to her, amused that the little girl was hesitating. “W- well…” Lily whispered shyly, “wh- where’s my brother? Is he out there with my sister and parents?”

Ah, so that was it. The kid was smarter than Chara had given her credit for. She had some vague sense of understanding what occurred beyond this world of emptiness. Not all of its prisoners could say the same.

Chara gave her a broad smile, “Of course they’re out there. Now go see them!”

Lily’s grayed eyes stared deeply into Chara’s, searching for the lie hidden in plain sight.

“O- okay,” she said hesitantly, slowly walking to the exit and leaving the Void.

“Liar,” a cold voice said to the far left.

Chara’s smile reached her eyes this time out of genuine amusement. “So after all this time, you finally came back. Did you miss me?”

She tilted her head and allowed Gaster to see the pure joy on her face. If she forced enough happiness, she could manipulate _herself_ into believing the day was just getting better and better.

The scientist glared at her and she took his silence as an opportunity to gloat. After all, that was what he expected, wasn’t it? A child that had no idea what she was doing or even what she wanted? So proud of her pathetic little achievements that she couldn’t help herself? She’d let him believe that, the whole damn world could. It was easy to do since she never felt worthy of anything when she was a child. Now, she admitted that she actually felt happy telling Krista what she did to her family was only the beginning.

“I did the one thing you were never able to accomplish. Well, other than destroying the Barrier and finding some sense of self-fulfillment,” Chara smirked, allowing the insult to sink in. “I, unlike you, was able to _break_ the Perseverant.”

“Congratulations,” Gaster replied in a flat voice, his tone devoid of sincerity.

Chara snorted, “Is that jealousy I detect?”

“No.”

“Envy?”

The scientist crossed his arms in annoyance, “It was never my goal to break her. I only needed her to be obedient.”

“Ah yes, but that caused _so_ many problems for you, and look where it led.” She gestured to the darkness around them. “But since I am a benevolent queen, I grant you permission to leave the Void, despite all the trouble you’ve caused in the past.”

“No.”

Chara pretended to scoff in offense, “You would deny such a _generous_ offer, after all I’ve had to put up with?”

He only glared at her and the Determination queen rolled her eyes as she strode for the door. “Fine, stay here if you want; I no longer have any amusement concerning you, after all.”

“Your magic is not as powerful as it was when you initially absorbed the human’s SOUL,” he suddenly said, making her stop.

“And how would you know that?” she asked, still using a playful tone despite her sudden spike of anger. The gloating might have been a little excessive, but everything she said still felt at least _partially_ true. She didn’t think it’d welcome a retort that kind of... _hurt_ because she realized his words were true. 

“All of us know. Since you reign over the Void, we were there when you killed Frisk, and ever since you entered three minutes ago, the difference in your power has been easy to recognize. You’re tired.”

Chara squinted in calculation, her fury building at the fact that he recognized something she had been ignoring for the past few hours. “So? I’ve still achieved what I wanted.”

She began to walk to the exit, her head held high as if she had won an argument when he said, “So perhaps you _didn’t_ break the Perseverant like you had hoped you would.”

That sly, smooth snark of superiority hidden underneath his monotone voice had her teleporting next to him and shredding his ghost-like body to bits. Krista’s magic would not have hurt him, but his fragile state would _have to_ answer to Queen Chara.

The scientist was gone in a matter of seconds, and Chara bared her teeth in rage at his comment, feeling herself shaking from the raw emotion.

It was true… and she absolutely _hated_ it. The Perseverant slipped through her fingers, damaged but unbroken. The world was never really Chara’s as long as that remained a fact. At least it motivated Chara to search for more “entertainment;” she would make them all suffer again and again and _again_ until they begged for her mercy. Until they all bowed their heads and accepted her as the ruler of the universe.

Chara just had to convince _herself_ that she was capable of it first.


	18. Aftermath

I don’t know where I am or where I’ve been. All I know is that I’ve been hurting for  _ so  _ long… and I still can’t get away.

I think I’m screaming, I don’t know as I feel my body hit the ground and my eyes dart in every direction, trying to make sense of this dim room.

Where am I? What happened before this?

A pair of red eyes flash in my mind, and I realize I  _ am  _ screaming as I curl into a ball, trying to hide from those eyes that see every miserable shred of what I am.

I think I hear a voice beyond my screaming, but I don’t detect anyone near me until I feel a hand touch my shoulder and I lose it even more.

I lunge back and my head slams against something soft but firm. A… couch?

I can’t see who it was as I begin to hyperventilate, and my eyes keep looking in every direction until they catch a blue light directly in front of me. My heart kicks up even more and I press my back against the couch as hard as possible, staring at the owner of that blue light.

It’s… a face, a face of a creature so unlike me, yet it’s so familiar.

“Krista,” it says in a deep but soft voice.

Krista? Why does that sound so familiar? Is it… yes… that is my name.  _ My name _ , what others call me and what I like to be called. And this creature… monster… skeleton…  _ brother _ … he has a name, too.

My breathing slows as I look at his face when that blue light dims in his left eye.

“Sans?” I ask tentatively.

He nods, cautious. “Yes, I’m here.”

The back of my mind tells me not to trust him, that he’s lying, that this is a trick to lure me in for more pain.

“How can I be certain?” I whisper, feeling my whole body tremble.

He places a hand on his chest and reveals a white upside-down heart that is… fragmented. There’s a complete outline of a heart, but spots of it are pitch black.

“We agreed to never lie to each other. Don’t you think you’d be able to tell if I was?” he asks.

I squint just the slightest and feel the faintest whispers of warmth stir in my chest, of magic. The SOUL… it seems so real… and this place… the carpet that provides little cushioning, the extremely soft couch… is it wrong to believe this is real?

“Sans?” I ask again and he returns his SOUL with a nod.

“I’m here, Krista. This is real.”

“Then what… happened-”

Those red eyes flash in my mind again and I scream, slamming my hands against my eyes to get the image  _ out _ .  _ Get out. Get out. Get out! _

_ Get away from me! Just let me die! _

My mind screams to banish her as the memories begin to flood in. I failed the Underground. Papyrus died. Cody died. Sans died.  _ I  _ died. But not before the endless torture. The torture that kept going and going and  _ going _ .

I’m shaking even worse now and cautious arms wrap around me, arms I’m not sure if I should fight. But then I get a stronger sense of that SOUL, and it seems  _ so  _ real. That magic, that hidden strength. A familiar, slightly musky scent of pine trees paired with citrus reaches my nose as I realize I’m suddenly clinging to the owner of the arms holding me. And the tears finally arrive.

I can’t control it; I can’t contain the sobs that tear out of my throat, some of them bordering on the line of screams. The memories flood into my mind as I see the countless horrors,  _ feel  _ the overwhelming pain.

I expect to be shoved away as I can’t stop for what feels like hours, but those arms never drop; he never lets me go. It all hurts  _ so much _ , more than I can ever remember. The details come in painful bites, the hours she spent peeling off my nails, the eye I lost, the arm I lost.

I can barely gulp down enough air in time for the next wave of sobs, the next waterfall of tears. But the whole time, my brother holds me, stroking the back of my head and never saying a word. He doesn’t try to shush me, and he doesn’t seem to be bothered by the fact that I’ve soaked most of his jacket’s left sleeve.

He’s just here for me, silently conveying a love I’ve forgotten. Does he love me? Am I worth loving? I can’t think as my eyes become heavier and heavier, weighed down by the pain of crying and remembering. A voice tells me I should get up, to stop being such a burden and an inconvenience. But I don’t have the strength as my sobs quiet and I let go of consciousness.

***

Even when Krista drifted off after about an hour since the Reset occurred, Sans couldn’t move, couldn’t let go of her. He had leaped out of bed the second the Reset took effect, feeling that blade cutting deep into his ribcage... and then he heard her screams... 

When he flung open his door and saw Papyrus to his right, he waved his brother back into his room, not wanting to overwhelm Krista any more than she already was. As much as he wanted to hug his brother, he realized Krista needed him more. It was the method of interchanging his priorities that he struggled with so often. Even after all this time, he always put Papyrus first, and he needed to remember that sometimes Krista needed to be first, too. Of course, they were both the two most important people in his life, but there were some times when one was fine and the other desperately needed help. 

What the hell did Frisk  _ do  _ to her? Or… was it  _ Chara _ ? What wasn’t he there to protect her from? Guilt cut deep into him as he remembered all he said to her after Papyrus died. He should have been better, should have done something different instead of going his own way and leaving her alone. He should have known she wouldn’t have had a chance to escape. He  _ should have known _ Chara had plans to hurt her.

Even though he wasn't certain, he could already imagine that it  _ was _ Chara, it had to have been. The thought made terror bite into him as Krista’s sobs continued to echo in his mind. Only Chara could have done something like this to her, but just how bad was it?

Sans tried to search for Krista’s magic, to see if any traces were left, to find some sort of proof that it wasn’t as bad as he feared. But he was fooling himself. Any traces of her power were  _ gone _ , and the only magic he could sense was the faintest wisps that must have been tucked deep into her SOUL. He couldn’t understand why his magic was back to normal after every Reset or Load but hers was continuously depleted until she had a chance to rest. Was it because she was human?

All it could really tell him was that she fought like  _ hell _ … yet she still ended up losing. He wanted to murder Frisk all over again just for what he saw her do to Krista. To see that blood running down her face, to see her so injured that all she could do was  _ crawl  _ to reach him... How much worse did it get?

Krista suddenly took a shuddered breath and he feared she was waking up, but she remained where she was, her breaths steadying back to normal. For some reason, it made Sans realize  _ her  _ fragility. In all the time he’d known her, she had always seemed much older and far stronger than she actually was. He supposed it was because he always compared her to himself. But in reality, she was still a kid, and after seeing so many humans on the Surface, he realized how small she was. She wasn’t supposed to be this tiny at sixteen, yet she was, because of what was done to her. And Frisk…  _ Chara  _ exploited that.

_ “Would you like to know the details?” _ a cool, smooth voice suddenly said in his mind and he jumped. Lissaria.

_ “So now you’re going to taunt me whenever you feel like it?” _ Sans hissed in response, immediately ensuring Krista didn’t wake up.

_ “No, I can only do this because of my connection to your sister. If you let her go, I won’t be able to talk to you.” _

Like hell he’d let her go.

_ “Nothing’s going to wake her up any time soon, considering how drained her magic is. If you can’t help asking questions tomorrow, you can always tell her I forced you to listen to me.” _

Sans could tell Lissaria  _ wanted  _ to tell him what happened, and she wouldn’t leave him alone until he listened. Might as well learn as much as he could from an impartial source. After all, he didn’t want to give Krista  _ any  _ reminders of what she went through.

_ “How much longer did that timeline last?” _

Lissaria hesitated,  _ “That question seems a little premature, don’t you think?” _

_ “For how long did she suffer?” _ Sans demanded.

_ “A month, and a few hours,”  _ the Whisperer responded, any speck of taunting leaving her voice, just pure dismay.

A month.  _ A month. _ An entire month with…  _ “Was it Chara?” _

_ “Why don’t I just show you?” _

Before he could respond, Lissaria threw him through a tidal wave of memories, all in Krista’s perspective. His death. Chara’s arrival. Frisk’s death. And… it was worse than he could have ever imagined.  _ Hell. Torture. Agony.  _ Those were the words that came to mind as he saw what happened, as he nearly  _ felt  _ some of it. He wasn’t sure if Lissaria was dampening the pain of the memories or if Krista’s were too muddled to sort it out, but the little he could feel was  _ unbearable _ .

There was  _ so much _ blood that coated those memories, so many broken bones and peeled flesh. Sans felt he was just about to be sick when the endless agony in the Throne Room stopped, leading to the lab… and then the  _ lava _ . Worst of all, Chara  _ whipped  _ Krista, just like she had only five short years ago.

Chara knew all the points to hit, anything and everything that terrified Krista, she found them. And then… then she sliced his sister’s  _ eye _ . The darkness to the right was familiar to Sans as the final memories played out, but he knew it must have sent Krista over the edge.

_ “Stop it,” _ he thought, wanting the agony to be over, to remind himself that Krista was  _ safe  _ now.

_ “One more thing,” _ Lissaria insisted, and then she showed the loss of Krista’s arm before throwing him out of the memories.

Sans gasped and held his sister tighter as he tried to blink away the memories, to ignore them. But they couldn’t be unseen, and the damage was done.

_ “Your sister technically did not break,” _ Lissaria said, as if her words were meant to be a comfort.  _ “However, it is possible that Chara did destroy her.” _

_ “How is that any better?” _

_ “From an ancient Magic Whisperer’s perspective, there is no going back from breaking. It means losing everything you are and never returning to that person. In my experience, every victim I have defined as broken has died soon after the experience that eliminated who they were. _

_ “Destruction, however, is when a SOUL is shredded to bits and the fragments eventually piece back together. If the SOUL was once strong, the mended SOUL will be even stronger. If you can pull her out of the darkness of that destruction, perhaps we will finally see the Heir of Xanvalus that I’ve been waiting for.” _

_ “I think you have the definitions for destruction and broken reversed,” _ Sans snapped, hating the intrigue in Lissaria’s voice. It meant she would have allowed Krista to be tortured no matter what because she wanted to see what would happen afterwards, what his sister would do.  **_“You allowed this to happen.”_ **

Lissaria scoffed,  _ “Now, now, I couldn’t have helped her even if I wanted to. The only thing that allows me beyond my stairwell is the Death Vow, which I graciously offered to her once I found a window back in.” _

_ “‘Back in’?” _ he demanded, furious with her insistence to play a game now of all times.

_ “In her agony, your sister was able to shut me out and deny my ability to reach her.” _

_ “How is that possible? Her magic was gone.” _

_ “And yet she was strong enough to block me out. I’m not sure if it was an unconscious choice or not, but perhaps it is because she did not want the reminder of me. She didn’t want the option to give up so easily. It was only after Chara whipped her did she let her guard down enough for me to slip back in. And that is what Chara was trying so desperately to break: Krista’s  _ **_Perseverance_ ** _. In all her belief that she deserved it, Krista still couldn’t help but refuse to entirely give up. Her final death was on her own terms. It was only after she remembered who she was did she decide that the torture was not deserved and she sought a quick exit. Unfortunately, the Determination human denied fulfillment of the Vow, but your sister was strong enough to deny Chara’s attempt to Load her Save.”  _

Sans wasn’t sure how to respond to that, whether to be proud or terrified that Krista insisted that the timeline ended when  _ she  _ said it was over. He didn’t even want to think about what Lissaria meant when she said Krista had to  _ remember  _ who she was. Despite Lissaria’s insistence of her strength, Sans couldn’t ignore the fact that Chara had still won. But… maybe… there was still hope.

_ “Get some sleep, Comic Sans,”  _ Lissaria concluded before silence greeted him.

He didn’t listen to the Whisperer’s suggestion, he  _ couldn’t _ . Not when it felt so selfish to leave his sister alone again, to force her to wake up without anyone helping her remember. Instead, he remained wide awake and held his sister until morning.

***

My eyes crack open to dim morning light, a light just bright enough that I can make out the vivid blue of a thin jacket. I take a deep breath and lunge up, realizing I must have been leaning against something the whole night.

“Hey, hey, you’re fine,” a voice whispers, and I feel fingers lightly stroke my shoulders.

My eyes finally adjust to the face in front of me and a hidden feeling says I’m safe. Nothing is going to hurt me.

“Oh,” I whisper, rubbing my eyes. Was I inconveniencing him? Was I leaning against him? Why would he allow that?

My face feels sticky for some unknown reason, and I take it as an excuse to back away, to give the skeleton the space he deserves.

“I’m just... going to wash my face,” I mutter, about to get up when the scenery changes, now in a small room with a tall sink to my left.

The skeleton stands up and extends his left hand, but the back of my mind argues it would be better if he used his right. Don’t most people offer their right hand? But then I notice what’s on his right hand: a metal plate, drilled into the bone.

He notices my stare and tries to hide it, but I lunge forward and grab his wrist. Something tells me I’m being rude, but I can’t help it as I lightly drift my fingers over the imprint on the plate:  _ WDG-1 _ with an  _ S _ below it.

“Krista,” he says, placing his left hand on top of mine.

My eyes snap up to his and I say, “You don’t deserve this.”

For some reason, I feel like I  _ needed  _ to tell him that, to remind him of something I can’t even remember.

But something darkens in his shadowed eyes and he whispers, “Don’t make this about me; you’ve been through far worse.”

“Have I?” I ask, as if it is the default answer.

The bone above his eye sockets furrows like eyebrows, and he gently places his hands around my wrists. “Come on, get up.”

The second he tries to pull me up, something twitches in my right arm, as if… as if it will fall off at any second. I leap back and make it to my feet somehow, but not without wrapping a hand around my right shoulder to make sure my arm stays on.

Something like hurt flickers in the skeleton’s eyes as black spots dot my vision and a tight, choked feeling begins to crawl up my throat. I turn away out of guilt for pulling out of his grip, but… I can’t explain it.  _ Wasn’t  _ my arm about to fall off?

I reach for the faucet when that choking feeling hits me full force, and I start to cough, my fingers grasping the sides of the sink to keep my balance. The convulsions increase in my abdomen and I squeeze my eyes shut as a rawness scratches the sides of my throat. I don’t even realize my legs had collapsed until I feel the skeleton holding me up. My eyes peer open to see an ocean of crimson staining the white sink, and I feel the liquid slide down my chin.

I look up and flinch at the sight of my reflection. Is that even my reflection? Is that…  _ me _ ? The body that I have control of? Are those purple eyes the ones I am seeing this with? Or am I someone else entirely?

“Here,” a soft voice says and I look down to see clear water washing that red mess away. A washcloth is dipped under the stream before it’s offered up to me and I cautiously take it. However, I reach for the water with my left hand, and my fingers graze the liquid, savoring the warmth on my cold skin.

I splash the water on my chin to get that red liquid away, and then I wipe off all the stickiness on my face, still unsure what caused it.

When I place the washcloth back down, the scenery changes again and I’m in a dim, tiny room. I realize I’m sitting on something soft and exhaustion immediately tugs at me. Why? Didn’t I just wake up?

I look around in a daze until I realize the skeleton is standing in front of me, holding a fluffy white dog.

“You remember Cody, right?” the skeleton asks, his voice nearly cracking. He sounds so sad, almost… heartbroken. Why?

He places the dog on the bed and I stroke its white fur, feeling a tug of so many memories that I can’t see. The dog leans against me and I stare at it, so loving and trusting. Does it know me? How come I don’t know any of this around me?

The skeleton leans down so we’re eye-to-eye and he gently places his hands on either side of my jawbone, not low enough to choke me, just enough to hold my attention.

“ _ Krista _ , do you remember anything?” he asks, insisting the name while his voice breaks.

A memory whispers a name to me, “Sans.”

He slightly tilts his head, as if in relief. “Yes, that’s my name. Do you know where you are?”

My eyes drift to the room around me, and a voice says it was once filled with shelves stuffed with books and puzzles. Now, it’s painted like a galaxy of stars with various constellations taped to the ceiling. “This is your room,” I say cautiously, afraid of what he’s trying to get at.

“That’s right,” he whispers, and when I look at him again, I see a tear sliding down his cheekbone.

“Why are you crying?” I ask. “Did I hurt you?”

He shakes his head, “No, but someone did, and I have to go take care of her. Can you stay here? I promise I’ll be back.”

He turns to leave and I blurt, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Sans flinches and guilt grips my heart, but I continue without thinking. “Didn’t you promise nothing bad would happen? But something did happen… didn’t it?”

“Krista-” he starts when red eyes flash in my mind and I slam my hands against my face.

“What? What is it?” he asks, now kneeling next to me.

I take a shuddered breath as it feels like someone is digging cold metal into my temples. Those eyes keep staring and staring, waiting for my scream, taunting me to beg. But I won’t. I  _ can’t _ . I failed everyone. Isn’t this the least I deserve?

***

Krista fell forward and Sans caught her shoulders, moving her further onto the bed so she laid flat on her back. Cody whimpered and walked a couple feet forward to curl up next to her, resting the side of his head on her upper left arm.

Sans wasn’t sure what made her pass out, if it was from the loss of blood or a flood of memories, he wasn’t sure as he grabbed a clean blanket from a pile in the corner of his room and laid it over her.

It seemed every time she was starting to remember, she lost consciousness to forget everything all over again. He wasn’t sure if it was good or horrific that she couldn’t remember. At least she seemed to trust him… that was what mattered, wasn’t it?

A faintest hope made him think she would remember him, their family, or even their home when she inspected the plate on his hand. But all it did was bring back her feelings toward what Sans had been through, and it infuriated him because he didn’t want her to ignore  _ her  _ pain. He didn’t want her to try to offer help to  _ him _ . It was typical of Krista to be like that, and it did give him the slightest speck of hope that  _ who she was _ still remained. However, she still saw him as a stranger, just another person, not her  _ brother _ . The thought was what brought the tears to his eyes.

Sans had explained the bare minimum to Cody before bringing him upstairs, hoping it would trigger good memories. But everything seemed to only drag Krista back to her most recent ones. The puppy insisted that he stay with her, and Sans only gave him one last hopeless glance before shortcutting out of the room.

Downstairs, Papyrus anxiously sat on the couch, staring up at Sans’ door. He slightly lifted an eye socket in question and Sans shortcutted down to sit to his right.

“What  _ happened _ ?” Papyrus asked, dread coating his tone. He had kept his distance ever since Sans waved him back last night, but now, he wasn’t leaving for work until he had some answers.

Sans took a deep breath, “Chara… tortured her.”

“How? When?” his brother demanded, a coldness in his voice that Sans had never heard before.

So Sans explained all that he knew. The previous Resets, the fall of Frisk, the genocide run, and finally… the bare minimum of what was done to Krista while she was entirely alone, abandoned to suffer at the hands of her life’s tormentor.

Sans saw the tears on Papyrus’ face in the corner of his eye, blurred by his own tears that he quickly wiped away.

“Where is Chara now?” Papyrus asked.

Sans scoffed, not at his brother or the question, but out of sheer anger that he didn’t know. “I’m not sure.”

“Well… it’s morning, which means she couldn’t have gotten beyond the Ruins doors yet.”

Sans connected the pieces in an instant. “No, you’re not coming with me.”

“Why can’t I? I love Krista just as much as you do, and I want Chara to pay.”

“This is not up for discussion!” Sans nearly yelled, jumping up to his feet. 

He expected hurt to be on Papyrus’ face, but instead, it was equal anger. “Really? Just because I don’t remember Resets doesn’t mean I’m useless.”

“What are you going to do? Talk her to death? Explain how  _ everyone  _ can be a good person if they just try? Our sister was tortured for a  _ month  _ at the hands of that demon, and you think she deserves mercy!?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth; I never said that,” Papyrus argued, rising to his feet to tower over his brother.

Sans didn’t back down, “But that’s how you’ve always felt! Even in the lab, when I was tortured, when  _ you  _ were tortured, you always insisted that Gaster had a good side. And guess what? We never saw it!”

“Which is why I’m going to make Chara hurt,” Papyrus snapped.

Sans smirked, “Really?  _ You _ ?”

“Sans,” Papyrus hissed between his teeth. “Don’t look down on me like that.”

“You wouldn’t hurt a fly if your- no, if  _ my  _ life depended on it,” Sans snarled. “You hold yourself to such high morals while the rest of us are despicable creatures because we defend ourselves with  _ violence _ . Well, guess what? Not all of us can be perfect like you. I’ve shoved Krista to the side far too many times for the sake of  _ you _ , your innocence, your  _ righteousness _ , and look what I did to her.”

Sans felt the tears as the reality set in. There it was: the guilt and the shame.

“ _ I _ am the reason she suffered,” he said, his voice lowered as his gaze drifted away from Papyrus.

His brother put a hand on his shoulder. “That is not true. All of it was Chara’s fault, and we’re going to make her realize that she can’t get away with everything.”

Sans’ gaze lifted to meet Papyrus’, “But I  _ know  _ you, Paps. You won’t be able to kill her.”

“I won’t,” Papyrus admitted, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t slow her down enough to give you the opportunity.”

“You would allow that?”

“For what she did to Krista,  _ yes _ .”

Sans took a deep breath, his brother’s confidence making him regret what he said. “Okay then, but follow my lead.”

He shortcutted them to the path leading to the Ruins doors and did a quick scan of the ground. The snow was undisturbed in any way, and unless Chara had used magic to avoid it, anyone would have kicked up the powdery layer sprinkled over the frozen ground.

The two brothers waited in the silence, patiently watching for those doors to open. In all the time that passed, Sans began to doubt his assumptions. What if Chara wasn’t sent back to the same place Frisk had begun the timeline at? Wouldn’t she? It was still  _ Frisk’s _ SOUL, after all. What if she was expecting them to do this and she was simply waiting to spring her trap?

“I’m sorry for what I said,” Sans suddenly blurted, needing to get out of his own paranoid thoughts. “You’ve always seen the good in people, and I love that about you. But sometimes I think you can be a bit na ïve.”

To his surprise, Papyrus lightly laughed at that. “I’ve always  _ felt  _ na ïve in comparison to the people around me. You, Krista, Asgore, you’ve all been through so much, and it has affected how you see the world and other people. Maybe… if I did remember the lab, maybe I would see violence as a better option.”

Sans immediately shook his head. “No, even in the lab, you always saw the good. Even on the worst days, when both of us were in a bad spot, you always managed to pull us out of it.”

“Is that why you said you’ve shoved Krista away in favor of me? Do you feel you owe me more than her?”

The questions hurt just as much as Frisk’s killing attack did, and Sans struggled to find the words. “I… I don’t know. She’s always seemed so independent while we’ve always needed each other.”

“But she’s been forced to be independent because she was alone for months,” Papyrus reasoned.

“I know and… that’s why it’s always been so difficult to tell when she’s hurting. She keeps it all locked up while I always know when something’s going on with you. I guess… that’s why I’ve always made you my priority, and now…  _ God _ , now she’s paying the price for my rejection. I shouldn’t have shoved her away; I should have-”

“Don’t go down the list of ‘should haves,’ just be there for her from now on,” Papyrus gently said, but it sounded more like an order from someone wise beyond Sans’ year.

Sans sighed, “You’re right.”

Papyrus was about to say something when one of the Ruins doors groaned open and the boys straightened, their focus sharpening.

The human that stepped into Snowdin was not Frisk, not at  _ all _ . While she had the same chin-length brown hair, the similarities ended there. She was slightly taller, thinner, with an oval face and a twisted grin that promised death. The girl wore a bright green dress with yellow leggings and laced green boots, and even from this distance, halfway down the path, Sans saw those vibrant, near-black red eyes.

_ Chara _ .

“Just the people I wanted to see!” the girl chirped, her voice grating against Sans’ nerves. It was the kind of voice that had nothing but false sweetness in it from the layers and layers of lies it told. It took every ounce of his control to keep from shortcutting behind her and blasting her into dust.

“Well,  _ one  _ person is missing,” Chara giggled, waltzing up to them like they were old pals. Thankfully, she stopped about ten feet away, but even from that distance, Sans could feel the  _ power  _ rippling off her, a strength unlike any he had ever felt.

“Where’s my darling Perseverant pet?” Chara asked, tilting her head as if she was genuinely confused.

“She never has been and never will be your ‘pet,’” Papyrus snapped.

Chara’s eyes widened in fake surprise. “Whoa there, Papyrus, that kind of negativity isn’t like you. Besides, isn’t ‘pet’ an accurate name for her? I mean, she’s only been under my control for the past nine years, if that isn’t like a pet then I don’t know what is.”

“You shut your mouth,” Sans hissed, not even attempting some form of bravado. He didn’t care if she knew he was furious; let her see what kind of damage he could cause when he was  _ serious _ .

“My, my, I must have caught you boys on a bad day. Is it some kind of anniversary since Gaster did something mean? Should I come back at a later time?” Chara teased.

“You know  _ exactly  _ why we’re here,” Sans snapped.

Chara tilted her head, “To avenge your fake sister? The girl that absolutely no one should care about? Honestly, what do you even see in her? A kicked little puppy in need of a home? As the current  _ god  _ of the universe, I would say her recent punishment was well deserved. In fact-”

Sans’ blaster hit true, but the Determination human merely absorbed the blow, entirely unharmed.

She gave him a bored expression and blew a strand of hair out of her face. “So rude. Now can I get past so I can drag the Perseverant’s carcass out of your house? The three of us have no conflict so fighting is pointless. If it makes you feel better, I promise I’ll dispose of her  _ humanely _ .”

This time, Papyrus fired off a blaster and the impact was enough to send Chara stumbling back a few feet. 

She put a hand above her chest in mock surprise and gave him a wide-eyed stare. “ _ Papyrus _ , how could you?”

“Enough insults, you are not going to get past us. And as long as we’re here, you are  _ never  _ going to hurt Krista again,” Papyrus declared, his voice as commanding as a king’s.

“Well then,” Chara mused, creating two long swords of black and red light, “this shall be  _ fun _ .”

***

_ Those red eyes continue to follow me, haunt me, even in unconsciousness that is supposed to bring me peace. I can’t escape them. I can’t escape  _ **_her_ ** _. It is a never ending nightmare of blood and agony. It is my reality, and there is no such thing as escape. _

_ I’m pinned to an earth blossoming with golden flowers, flowers that soon turn crimson as she slices off my cheek and discards the skin like the filth it is. _

_ This is just part of the routine, isn’t it? So why am I so afraid? What do I have to lose? The girl lifts my left arm and eyes my fingernails, musing about all the possibilities. _

_ “What shall we do for Round 313?” she asks, her voice more like the snarl of a starved stray cat than a human. _

_ I can’t respond, can’t argue as a smile creeps onto her face. She found the answer to her own question. _

_ “How about,” she digs a single flat-edged bobby pin out of her hair and flattens it out, “this?” _

_ I try to thrash out of the hold of the chains around me, but there’s no point. _

_ “Ah, yes,” she suddenly purrs, “this will do  _ **_nicely_ ** _.” _

_ She digs the sharp end of the pin under my nail and lifts, causing a scream to shatter my throat. _

My own fist slams into my chest as I lunge up, tucking my left hand as tight against me as possible. A cold sweat freezes my temples as I gasp for breath, realizing it was just a dream, and I am in reality once more.

A soft whine to my left grabs my attention and I turn to see the white puppy staring up at me, his brown eyes filled with such concern that I wonder if it means he cares about me.

_ “You’ve been burying the good memories for far too long, Perseverant,” _ a voice suddenly hums in my head.

I jump and my eyes dart around for the speaker, but there’s no one here besides the puppy.

“What do you mean?” I ask the voice out loud. It’s not like the voice of the girl with the red eyes. It sounds much older, wiser, yet seemingly just as manipulative.

_ “You have always believed you deserve the horrors but never the good moments. It’s why you forgot them so easily. I am here to remind you of who you are.” _

A feeling, like a key unlocking a heavy gate, clicks in my mind, and the memories come flooding in, organized and cohesive. My parents’ smiles. My sister’s laugh. My one brother’s teasing. My other brother’s cooking. My friend with the heart of a warrior. My other friend with warm brown eyes. The excited bark of my puppy. A sunset on the beautiful Surface. A pear tree heavy with the delicious fruits. A sky full of sparkling stars. A wondrous cave glittering with colorful gems.

Everything sweet and precious, everything beautiful and delicate, flows into my mind like a warm cup of cocoa on a frigid day. How had I forgotten all this? How was this the life I had before hell took over? A voice wants to tell me the images are lies, that all I’ve ever known is misery and pain, but that’s not true, I  _ know  _ it isn’t.

Life is a mixture of everything, and I realize that those precious, simple little things mean more to me than anything. They make surviving the pain worth it, and I need to remember them to heal from the agony threatening to tear me down.

More images come to me, each giving me back pieces of the girl I once was. I re-learn who Krista Isabel Meadows is, the girl who survived despite all the odds. The experiment imprisoned in a dark lab, the stranger in an unknown world, the descendant of royalty from centuries ago. I am not nameless. I am not some creature that will be forgotten in the dark. Damaged, yes, but not so far gone that I can never recover.

_ “There you are,” _ Lissaria purrs as a sense of clarity sharpens my focus, reminding me of who I still am despite what I just survived.  _ “I was almost worried.” _

I don’t respond even though she’s probably the one to thank. Instead, I turn to Cody, who stares at me with hopeful eyes.

“Hey, puppy,” I whisper, reaching to pet him.

Cody tucks his head under my hand and crawls into my lap, allowing me to pet him. I don’t know how long I stroke his soft fur until Lissaria pipes up again.

_ “You better get going; find your brothers.” _

The slight urgency in her voice makes me pause.  _ “Where are they?” _

_ “Let’s just say they were all-too eager to avenge you.” _

**No** . 

_ “They left to fight Chara?” _

Lissaria doesn’t respond, but it’s enough to answer my question.


	19. Beyond The Threshold

Sans had the vague sense that Chara was toying with them, viewing their fight as if it was more of a dance. She dodged with little spins and bows, giggling whenever an attack hit her like it was little more than a splash of water. She was having  _ fun _ . 

Sans could feel what little power she used to taunt them with was nothing more than a drop in the bucket, perhaps less. She was waiting for something… but what? Until she got bored? Until she became impatient and left to find Krista? He couldn’t go down the list, not when she sent her attacks so dangerously  _ close  _ to him and his brother’s heads.

The boys searched for windows of weakness or any possible vulnerabilities, but she revealed none. Chara was seemingly invincible as the few attacks that did hit her revealed no damage. The most she ever did was take a few steps back, yielding a mere fraction of her advantage.

Sans lost all sense of time as he continued to fight, only taking his eyes off his opponent for split seconds to check on his brother. Papyrus could hold his own in a fight; the only problem was that he seemed to be expending his power just as fast as Sans was. It was the kind of situation Sans had feared would happen if Krista and him had fought Frisk at the same time. What would become of them when they were too exhausted to fight anymore and Chara was barely winded? Was that what she was waiting for?

After what felt like hours of endless dodging and attacking, Chara’s eyes suddenly brightened when she spotted something behind them. Sans was about to look when she caught both the boys by their SOULs, freezing them in place the way Gaster did with his blue magic.

“How about we take a short intermission?” she said sweetly, throwing the boys toward the Ruins doors.

Sans couldn’t see anything as his body hit the frozen ground and the momentum kept him moving until his back slammed against the left door. The searing pain in his spine was enough to keep him in one spot for far longer than he wanted. Every second on the ground was another inch towards his brother’s death, and he tried to force himself to his feet, but it was too much.

Footsteps crunched in the snow ahead, and he tried to force the spots out of his vision.

_ Where was Papyrus? _

“Wow, Subjects One and Two, you are quite the disappointing pair,” Chara said, disgust dripping in her tone.

The use of those “names,” those  _ numbers _ , sent Sans into the stage of fury he needed to get up, to attack with the intention of  _ killing _ .

He lunged up and swiped a bone bullet at her, an attack she  _ almost  _ dodged. But Sans hit her, just barely scraping the line of her right cheekbone and causing a thin layer of blood to prick from the wound.

Chara shoved him back so hard he hit the ground, but Sans didn’t care as satisfaction strengthened his confidence. Papyrus put a hand on his shoulder and he almost jumped, remembering he should have been looking for his brother. But Papyrus had been there the whole time.

_ “Now is our chance,”  _ he seemed to say, his eye sockets darting up to a distracted Chara.

But then her eyes drifted down to them, an even darker shade of red than Sans thought was possible.

“This isn’t fun anymore,” the Determination human said as she sent hundreds of dots of red light for the unguarded skeletons.

***

I was almost close enough to reach them, almost close enough to scream their names, but Chara saw me first. As punishment, she sent the boys flying back to hit the Ruins doors, far from my reach.

“Back so soon, my pet? I’m afraid I’m a little preoccupied at the moment,” she trilled as I came charging towards her. No magic, just pure desire to make her  _ hurt _ .

A smile crept onto her face as I neared, “No matter, I’ll deal with you soon.”

She grabbed my SOUL and sent me flying to the left, high above the skeletal trees and far into the woods.

Now, I try to get my bearings, try to reach for  _ any  _ kind of magic that will help me, but I can’t find it. Gravity begins to take effect, and I drop like a stone. The left side of my body hits the tree branches first, and they cut into my dark blue sweatshirt to tear at my skin underneath.

My fingers fight to grasp any sort of branch or tree trunk, and I barely slow myself down enough that when I hit the ground on my injured side, it’s not as bad as it could have been.

Any bit of breath I have leaves me, and I gasp like a fish out of water as the snow leaches away my warmth. I didn’t think to grab my coat; I just shoved on my boots and ran. Serves me right.

I think I hear a scream and I flip over onto my knees, forcing my trembling body to my feet. I stumble forward a few steps and slam into a tree, fighting to stay up, to stay  _ conscious  _ as black spots dot my vision.

I ignore the pain in my side as much as it screams for my attention and focus on finding my magic instead. I need to get back to them, to fight. It’s the least I owe my brothers  _ and  _ the Underground now that I have another chance. I didn’t think Chara would want to Reset. Didn’t she want an empty world? Unless… she has something else to gain.

I close my eyes and focus on my breaths, searching for the magic I  _ know  _ that remains. I just have to find it.

My fingers dig into the tree’s bark as I search for those depths, the ones that have seemed so unreachable. I’ve always thought I’ve hit my limits, both when Flowey first killed me and when Frisk won. They were life-threatening situations,  _ wasn’t  _ there nothing else I could’ve done?

But maybe… maybe I needed something else to push me enough to find my real potential. Isn’t that what Lissaria’s teased me about so many times? I’ve had enough magic to  _ occasionally  _ feel powerful, but I’ve almost always lost in the end. However, a loss has never hurt as much as the latest one did. It didn’t just cost me my life or all my strength, it cost me  _ everyone  _ and  _ everything _ . I can’t stop seeing my brothers die, my puppy’s blood, and feel my own agony as the torture never ceased. Was that my  _ true  _ limit? What if…  _ Chara  _ has driven me far enough?

A gasp escapes me as I find a wisp of magic, and I grab onto it like a rope that will lead me to safety. I follow it down... 

Down... 

Down...

When I reach the end of that rope… it’s as if I’ve finally touched the waters under a frozen lake that I’ve been digging at for years… and I plunge right into them.

My hands contract into claws and purple light glows in each palm, only… it’s wispier than I remember my magic being. It’s more shapeless, something more chaotic. I will the light to form into two globes, and it obeys, but unlike the solid globes I’m used to, flickers of power reach out from the centers of light.

My magic has always felt like clay, something tangible and easy to shape.  _ This  _ on the other hand… this is more like holding  _ fire _ .

Flares of light move away from the globes on their own, searching for their victim. My eyes drift in the direction of my tormentor, the one who deserves punishment more than anyone. Who better to deliver it than me?

***

Sans was reaching his limits, he could sense the exhaustion tearing at his magic like talons, but he couldn’t give up. He had to keep fighting. For Krista. For Papyrus, who was also nearing exhaustion at his side.

That single scratch was enough to give him hope, but it quickly faded when that wound disappeared. Chara merely swiped the dried blood off her cheek to reveal perfect pale skin, just slightly flush from the effort of fighting. Healed or not, that single scratch pissed her off more than Sans felt was reasonable. But then again, there was nothing reasonable about  _ Chara _ .

The fight had taken them back to the bridge at the end of the path, forcing Chara to yield more and more steps as the bone bullets and blasters seemed to have greater effects on her. However, her Determination still felt as powerful as it was when they began. What was she waiting for? Why didn’t she just finish them off?

Chara threw a wave of spikes at the boys, ones that Sans swiftly avoided and Papyrus smoothly blocked. Sans had trouble searching for a weakness whenever she did that; her attacks were so random and chaotic that he had no idea if there was some sort of pattern that could give him a window.

He sent blasters behind her and Chara waved a wall of red light that easily disintegrated them. Damn it. That was a clear sign that his magic was failing, and when he paid closer attention, he noticed the brittleness of his bones. At the rate they were going, he would either pass out or die after another hundred attacks.

As if she knew that, too, Chara suddenly halted her onslaught and took a few more steps back, a mere ten feet away from the bridge.

“You boys are fun but still too weak to truly entertain me. Perhaps Undyne will provide a better challenge,” Chara smirked, suddenly seizing the boys’ SOULs and freezing them in place. “Of course-”

She cut herself off, and those red eyes drifted to her left. Sans was about to look when a flash of dark purple light silenced Chara’s sudden snarl. The light was so bright, he had to close his eye, but when he opened it...

The Determination human was…  _ gone _ . There was nothing left but a faint pile of black ash. Sans’ gaze snapped to where Chara looked and almost collapsed to his knees at the sight of Krista.

Her right hand was held straight out, as if she had just thrown an attack at Chara. Blood streamed from her nose and ears, and Sans could see the entire left side of her sweatshirt was stained crimson, too.

His sister stared at the spot where Chara once stood, unable to move as if she had been frozen in place.

“Krista,” Sans softly said, approaching her with cautious steps.

How did she get all the way out here?  _ Why  _ was she out here? It still felt like too much to hope that she truly remembered them.

Krista slowly lowered her arm, and her entire body trembled from the effort. But she kept her gaze locked on that patch of earth, as if she couldn’t believe what she just did was real. 

“ _ Krista _ ,” Sans said again, more insistent this time.

_ Please look at me. _

Those gorgeous purple eyes slowly drifted over and met his, softening with recognition. “Are you okay?” she asked in a scratchy voice, her eyes lifting up to Papyrus for a brief second before returning to Sans.

He nodded even though it felt like a lie in some ways. But in all the ways that mattered, it couldn’t have been a more sincere truth.

She squinted a bit, “No, you’re not.”

“Well,” Sans started, searching for some kind of joke when Krista suddenly coughed into her sleeve and she dropped to her knees. Sans was immediately at her side, all-too aware to place a hand on her  _ left  _ shoulder.

“I’m fine,” she murmured, leaning back to sit against the nearest tree.

She was certainly  _ not  _ fine as Sans spotted a dark stain of fresh blood where she had coughed. On instinct, he tried to conjure healing magic when Papyrus put a hand on his shoulder.

“ _ Don’t _ ,” he and Krista said at the same time.

Frustration clawed at Sans and he was about to ask what else could they do when Papyrus leaned forward and sent his own healing magic over Krista’s wound. Her eyes closed and she faintly sighed in relief as Papyrus mended whatever injury had made the left side of her torso bleed so much.

It was only for a few seconds until Krista closed a hand around Papyrus’ wrist and pushed it away. “That’s more than enough,” she murmured, just barely able to open her eyes again.

“It is not and you know it,” Papyrus demanded.

“I’ll feel better when we get home,” Krista argued, attempting to force herself up and barely moving a foot before she collapsed.

“Fine then,” Papyrus conceded, leaning forward to pick up her seemingly fragile body. Krista’s eyes were now sealed shut and her head leaned against Papyrus’ right shoulder, out cold.

“You too,” Papyrus insisted, holding out his left hand for Sans to take.

“I can walk just fine,” Sans argued, forcing himself up to his feet.

“I’m not asking,” was all his brother said in response and pulled Sans up over his left shoulder.

“I’m  _ fine _ ,” Sans argued, but then he felt that pull of exhaustion return as Papyrus began to walk.

“Then fight me to get down,” his brother challenged.

Before Sans could even try, his body betrayed him and dragged him into unconsciousness.

***

For some reason, Papyrus was surprised by how light his siblings were. They both possessed so much power, yet the two of them combined probably didn’t equal his own weight. The thought made him feel even more protective now that they were defenseless.

He definitely didn’t expect the day to go like  _ this _ . Just last week, the three of them were baking cookies in the kitchen, and Krista joked about finally gaining the courage to go back to the “librarby.” How did so many horrors happen in such a short amount of time?

The Surface, the genocide, the torture,  _ technically  _ none of it had happened. But his siblings remembered, which made it real. It made the passing of all that time wear on them, and Papyrus felt hopelessly useless with his inability to remember.

He knew all his siblings wanted was to protect him, which meant they probably wouldn’t have explained the past timelines if he hadn’t heard Krista’s screams. It made him feel all the more guilty that they didn’t trust him enough to share the burden of remembering. Sure, it was probably a pain for them to explain over and over, but wasn’t he helpful when he  _ did  _ know?

It was why he was so willing to fight Chara, to prove himself to Sans that he was willing to sacrifice a piece of himself for his family. The idea of  _ killing  _ Chara was too much for him to bear, but he was willing to hurt her for them. Papyrus supposed it was “fortunate” that she was powerful enough that he wasn’t able to get a real hit in. Sure, she backed away several steps with his attacks, but there were no signs of any real damage.

But would he have hurt her if he  _ really  _ wanted to? After all, Chara was to Krista like Gaster was to the boys... arguably  _ worse _ . Didn’t Krista deserve justice? Papyrus couldn’t imagine what torture felt like; he didn’t even know how it felt when that metal plate was drilled into his hand. But his siblings remembered  _ everything _ . Every scream, every bite of pain… every drop of blood.

The thought made him shudder as he entered Snowdin Town. He didn’t like facing the heavy reality that weighed on his siblings. He didn’t like remembering all the agony they had been through. Why weren’t they allowed to be happy? Why did it seem like no one gave them a chance when the worst kinds of people tore them to shreds? Had Papyrus been selfish all this time? Was he too caught up in how great life  _ seemed  _ that he was ignoring the pain his siblings were going through?

The town was silent as Papyrus passed shop after shop, as if everyone knew to hide from an incoming threat except him. At least it made it easier to get to the house.

Papyrus opened the front door and almost stepped on a concerned Cody pawing at the ground. The dog whimpered as Papyrus placed Krista on the couch and swiftly pulled off her boots. Then he took his brother up to his room and tucked Sans under the single blanket on his bed. Papyrus searched for any injuries, unsure whether or not Sans passed out from his condition. There weren’t any signs of injuries, just heavy exhaustion blended with deep sorrow murmuring in his SOUL. Feeling his brother’s pain made tears prick in Papyrus’ eyes as he backed out of the room, feeling completely useless.

“They’ll be okay,” Papyrus told Cody when he shut Sans’ door, more out of self-reassurance than anything.

Cody whimpered again as Papyrus made his way downstairs and analyzed Krista’s wounds. She was in a  _ far  _ worse condition, but Papyrus struggled to find the source of what caused her ears and nose to bleed. He had stopped the bleeding on her left side, but when he looked at the wound, it was still there. Instead of bleeding, it was a dark purple-blue, almost encompassing the entire left half of her stomach. 

Papyrus searched for her SOUL to figure out if that needed healing sooner as he felt himself nearing the ends of his magic. He needed rest, too, but not before he was certain his sister was in as little pain as possible. 

Her SOUL… it hurt to even lightly touch it with his magic; it was so… wounded, as if someone had torn it to shreds and messily glued the pieces back together. Any sense of her magic was almost entirely non-existent, save for the tiniest little crumb of purple warmth. But there was something different about it… something stronger, something more chaotic than her controlling leash could probably contain.

What could have caused this? It still  _ felt  _ like Krista’s magic, but it seemed older, wiser, a kind of power that probably took centuries of fighting and surviving to obtain. Did Chara cause this? What could it mean? He wasn’t sure, but he did know he couldn’t leave her as a bloody mess like that.

Papyrus turned for the kitchen and splashed a few paper towels with warm water before heading back to her. He tried his best to get rid of as much blood as possible, praying the whole time she wouldn’t wake up. It was harder to get the blood that had frozen to her hair, and he had a feeling her sweatshirt was past the point of salvaging.

Cody whimpered behind him again and Papyrus turned to see the puppy had carried down a black sweatshirt, one that Krista never wore.

“Thanks, Cody,” he said softly, knowing she’d be cold in her current shirt that was frozen with blood. He didn’t touch her cami, but at least she was now in a clean shirt as he used the last of his magic to move her.

“I don’t know what else to do,” Papyrus murmured once he threw Krista’s damaged shirt in the trash and laid her dark blue blanket over her.

“Get some sleep,” Cody responded, pressing his little paws on Papyrus’ leg.

The skeleton made a face at the dog as the Ceiling Stars’ afternoon light dimmed into evening outside. Based on how heavy the shadows were, it was going to snow soon.

“I feel like I should do more,” Papyrus whispered. After all, it seemed like he had never done  _ anything  _ as useful as his siblings.

“You’re no help when you’re going to fall over at any second. I’m the guard dog; let me do my job,” Cody lightly teased.

Papyrus smiled and stood up to flip on the little set of lights above the fireplace, just in case Krista woke up at night so she’d know where she was. Then he went up the steps to his room and finally responded to the puppy. “Alright, make us proud.”

***

My eyes peek open to a dim room, and my brain immediately registers that there’s something…  _ off  _ about it. I lunge up into a sitting position and instantly fall back when my left side screams with pain.

I gasp for breath as I try to get my bearings, scanning the white ceiling, the orange wall to my left, and the cool windows to my right.

I’m home, I’m safe… right? But I never sleep facing the door, I sleep facing the fireplace so the windows are to my left, the opposite of how they were when I lived on the Surface. Which means… someone put me here; this wasn’t my choice.

I force myself to sit up again at a much slower pace, and it’s like my ears have been stuffed with cotton balls. What the hell happened to me? My nose feels stuffed, too, and I inch off the couch, ever so careful not to strain my side. I stand up on shaky feet, but I force myself to keep my balance as I observe the room. 

The only lights on are the set above the fireplace, one that Cody peacefully sleeps beside. A chill runs through me and I turn to see it’s nearly pitch black outside. The wind howls and my eyes adjust to the sight of snow swirling through the darkness: a blizzard.

What  _ happened _ ? I can’t think, I can’t explain the muffled pain that aches all over my body, and my SOUL… it feels different. I place a hand over my heart and lightly drift my fingers back and forth, searching for that tug of magic. When I find it, I gasp from the sudden plunge it feels like I take, a plunge through so many memories.

I wince as they all rear their ugly heads, each one more painful than the last. But when the most devastating feeling reaches me, all my concerns and fears come flooding back.

_ Chara _ , it was Chara who did this to me, and I… I lost. Where is she now? Where are my brothers? What have I missed in all the time I’ve been selfishly sleeping? Did she kill them already and this is a trick? What if… what if this isn’t  _ real _ ? What if it’s like a session and I’m only lulled into believing this room is real, when it’s not?

In a panic, I draw up my magic, amazed at how immense it feels. I’m not this strong, which means this is definitely an illusion. She’s tricking me, probably laughing at me right now as I’m most likely stumbling into a new pit of darkness and endless torture.

I form a single kernel of light and stare at it in awe, at the hundreds of little flecks of power that reach out from it.  _ This is not real _ . But why does it feel  _ so  _ real?

_ “Because it is,” _ Lissaria insists, making me jump and sway on my feet.  _ “Calm down.” _

_ “How can I?” _ I ask in a panic, my eyes searching every dark corner of the room for a threat.

_ “This is  _ **_very_ ** _ real, you just have to remember,” _ the dragon says as it feels like someone’s pushing against my temples and I fall back on the couch.

Everything finally comes back: I “survived” Chara’s torture, I found my brothers, but I couldn’t reach them, I passed that threshold of my limits, and stepped beyond them, and then… I’m not sure what happened then.

_ “Oh, how could you block out your greatest achievement!?” _ Lissaria groans in frustration, and I hiss in pain when I realize she’s trying to  _ force  _ me to remember something.

“Stop it,” I whimper, leaning forward and squeezing my eyes shut.

She sighs in annoyance,  _ “Fine, don’t remember, but your brothers will certainly remind you.” _

_ “They’re alive?” _

As if in response, Sans’ door opens and he stumbles out of his room, slamming his hands against the railing to stare down at me.

“Sans?” I ask.

He winces in pain and forces himself to take the long way down the steps.

“Did you just try to use a shortcut?” I ask.

“Yes, and I failed miserably,” he smirks, stopping in front of me.

“Why?”

A faint light flickers in his eyes, and I can tell he’s hesitating to admit something.

“What happened, Sans?” I insist.

He takes a deep breath, “You tell me.”

My face twitches in frustration. “I’m not in the mood for games. Where is Chara?”

“You killed her,” he says in a soft voice.

“ _ What _ ?”

It has to be some sort of mistake. It  _ has  _ to be. There is no way  _ I  _ could have killed her.

Sans cautiously takes a seat to my right, allowing me time to process my thoughts. 

_ I  _ killed her? How? How could-

I suddenly see it. I reached past my limits to find a whole new level of power. I concentrated all of it into a single globe of light, every last drop of my magic. The second I saw her, I sent it, not caring about what using so much would do to me. How was that enough? How can a Perseverant kill a Determination like  _ that _ ?

A hand  _ very  _ gently touches my right arm and I turn to Sans. “How did I get home?”

“Papyrus, and don’t freak out, but it’s been two days since that happened.”

“Really?” I ask as Sans drops his hand and I place my left hand on that same shoulder, as if it’s something I  _ need  _ to do. My gaze drifts away as I try to remember  _ why _ .

“Krista,” he says, and my head snaps back in his direction. “How much do you remember? Say anything and everything you can think of.”

The memories build up as I search farther and farther back, finding the unfortunate highlights of my life, rediscovering who I am.

“My name is Krista Isabel Meadows, I’m sixteen, I used to live on the outskirts of Ebott City, and now my home is in the Underground. I was forced to kill my sister, then I killed my father, and I found the Underground shortly after. I was once an experiment, then a stranger in a foreign world, then a member of that same civilization. Some have told me I am royalty, others tell me I am worth nothing and I am nothing. I’m not sure if I matter or if I still have a purpose. But I’d like to hope that I have a family.”

A single tear escapes Sans’ eye and my eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Am I missing something?”

A single breath of a laugh escapes him. “Well, there’s  _ a lot _ going unsaid, but I think the most important fact is that you are loved. You know that, right?”

Love… I didn’t think to mention that. I know I loved my sister. I love my brothers, but I didn’t think about being loved myself.

“I guess I forgot about that,” I admit. Something like rage simmers in Sans’ eyes, and I realize I said the wrong thing. “I’m sorry, don’t be mad. I’ll try to remember that, too.”

He shakes his head, “Krista, I can’t be mad at you. I just...  _ hate  _ that Chara hurt you so much that it’s something you struggle to remember.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been good at remembering that,” I mutter, thinking about the time when it really did feel like no one in the world could love me.

The reminders make my gaze drift away as little memories pop up from nowhere. A night when I sacrificed some money to buy a coloring book and crayons for Mable. A day when Papyrus took me all over the City to look at the best pastry shops. The time when Undyne made me follow her to the gorgeous hidden caves in Waterfall.

I really do have good memories; the awful ones are just better at standing out and making me think there’s no point in living. But there is, and that’s something that Chara can’t see.

Didn’t I say I pitied her for that reason? I think I did, and it’s true. I realized in that moment that the remnants of the girl who died don’t understand love or happiness. She only wants to know superiority and death.

A hand touches my shoulder and I jump, forgetting that Sans was sitting next to me. But now he’s standing and he holds out a bowl filled with pear slices, based on the faint scent I detect.

“I said your name three times,” he says, his face scrunched in concern. “Here, you’re hungry.”

Am I? A pain suddenly rips through my stomach, and I realize it’s not from my injury. How long has it been since I last ate? 

I take the bowl and pick the thinnest slice I see, taking a bite before I doubt whether or not I should.

The taste immediately brings little tears to my eyes, reminding me of what pears mean to me: survival, safety, my mother… and my little sister.

“Thank you,” I whisper, feeling a couple tears fall.

And then I remember… I never ate in all the time that Chara tortured me. I only had my tears and blood to taste. The thought makes me wonder…

“Sans… do you know how long the last timeline was?”

“What makes you think I’d know that?” he asks, taking a seat once more.

“I… I don’t know,” I admit. Why would I even ask that? He was  _ dead _ .

A little bite of pain runs through my Death Vow and Sans sighs… as if he  _ does  _ know. “Lissaria told me… it was a month.”

I drop my second pear slice and stare at him. “A  _ month _ ?”

“Yes,” he says with all the sincerity in the world. “It was just you and…”

“Chara for a month,” I whisper, understanding he’s unsure whether or not the full admission would upset me. It does, but I’m not afraid to say her name anymore.

A  _ month _ … alone… with  _ her _ . I’m certain I don’t remember it all, when I really try to think about it, only the highlights appear. Will the memories come back in the coming years? Will they transform every dream into a nightmare and force me to wake up screaming? Will she even allow that to happen? Or will the person I am soon die permanently as the ultimate testament to the truth that she is superior? 

“Hey, look at me,” Sans says, drawing my attention back to him. “Don’t let her win. It was all her fault, and you didn’t deserve any of it.”

My hand drifts up to my right shoulder again. “You know me so well,” I say in barely a whisper, feeling a dry patch itch its way up my throat.

Sans makes a face before jumping up and heading into the kitchen. He’s back in what feels like a second and he hands me a water bottle. “It’s impossible for you to not be thirsty.”

“Thanks,” I say, snapping off the thin cap and taking a tiny sip. But that little bit is enough to make me selfish, and I drain the whole bottle in seconds. “I guess I forgot I was thirsty, too.”

He takes the bottle from me, but he doesn’t move as I finally finish my second pear slice. “Are you going to have some?” I ask, offering the bowl. Sans immediately shakes his head, his eyes vacant. “Are  _ you  _ okay?”

“I’m sorry,” he blurts, clarity suddenly sharpening his gaze.

“About?” I honestly don’t know what he needs to be sorry for.

“Everything. I shoved you away. I didn’t fight for you. I’ve always put Papyrus in front of you because I’ve always assumed you don’t need as much help. But it’s also been my excuse to choose between you two. I feel so useless when it comes to your pain because it’s always been far worse than mine. And because of that… I really thought I lost you after all Chara had done.”

“Sans… my pain isn’t worse than yours; that’s something no one can compare. And I’m sorry I didn’t remem-”

He cuts me off, “Don’t. You have  _ nothing  _ to be sorry for. You don’t owe anyone anything. I’m actually waiting for you to yell at  _ me _ .”

I shake my head, “I can’t do that.”

I look away and bite into another pear, my gaze glancing at Cody in hopes that he’ll wake up. Now that my head feels clearer than it has in weeks, I just want to find some sense of normal again. Which means my puppy begging for food, a day out in the snow all bundled up in my favorite coat, a cup of hot chocolate, and Undyne yelling at me to spar with her. Not to mention Papyrus’ cooking and Sans’ constant teasing about the dumbest things.

When did everything become so dark and exhausting? Oh yeah, when Frisk showed up, and now she’s gone and Chara has control. But why hasn’t she Reset yet? Why would she allow herself to be dead for  _ two days _ ?

“How did you do it?” Sans asks, grabbing my attention again.

“Do what?” I ask, finishing the last pear slice.

“Remember.”

My eyes narrow as I try to think of an explanation and my hand drifts back to my right arm. “I’m not sure. I think… it might have been Lissaria, not that I want to give her much credit.” I expect to hear the Magic Whisperer give a retort, but she remains silent. “But also, I think it was just seeing home again, feeling safe without much pain. Or maybe it was my magic, I’m not sure. But… it feels  _ so  _ good to know where I am, to know that I’m safe.”

It’s the understatement of the millenium, but the admission is comforting, reminding me that I  _ am  _ safe. The torture was not endless after all.

“Now you look tired, go get more sleep,” I say, standing up and heading to the kitchen. I take it slower than normal to make sure I don’t strain my side as I walk into the small room and wash off the bowl. It’s dark, but the lights from above the fireplace are still able to provide just enough illumination.

“And what are you going to do?” Sans asks, leaning against the doorframe, his eye searching for my intentions.

I sigh, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m just going to get a shower before heading back to sleep.” I glance at the clock to see it’s one forty-seven in the morning. Yeah, I’m definitely not staying up for much longer.

“You’re serious?”

“Do I look like I’m in any condition to travel? Why are you expecting me to want to get into trouble?”

“You’ve done it multiple times and I’m a little on edge now considering all that’s happened.”

“Sans,” I sigh at his overprotectiveness, reaching up to rub my forehead when a crackle of pain spears my left side. I wince and drop my hand, reaching for the counter to keep my balance.

“Damn it, I knew we were forgetting something,” Sans mutters, reaching for me.

“ _ No _ , if you can’t shortcut, then you’re sure as hell not using your healing magic,” I argue.

“I’m not going to listen to you if it means you’re denying my help. Papyrus said it was still pretty bad, but his magic’s barely recovered.”

“And yours?”

Sans smirks, “I have enough.”

“No,” I step back.

“ _ Please _ , Krista, let me help you.”

The desperation in his eyes, the pure  _ need  _ to be useful, makes me stop. He feels more guilty than I would’ve thought about what Chara did. Since it happened to me, I didn’t consider how he must have reacted to seeing me freak out like I did. If our situations were reversed, I probably wouldn’t want to leave his side either. I would want to take away as much pain as possible. Whether it’s to lessen guilt or not, I’m not sure.

“Fine, it’s all through here,” I gesture to where the pain is, not wanting to see what the actual injury looks like. I don’t know if it’s bruises or mended skin or what, but I’ve seen enough of my own injuries to know I don’t need another memory of one on the list.

Sans reaches forward and uses his healing magic, the green light easing the bites of pain rippling through my side. I keep an eye on him to make sure he’s fine, and he shows no sign of discomfort as it feels like he heals my wound entirely.

“Feel better?” I ask when he finally drops his hand. He frowns in annoyance and I give him a tiny smile; it’s the most I can manage. “Of course you do. Where would I be without my courageous little brother?”

I pat him on the shoulder and head for the attic door. “Now you better be in bed by the time I come back down or else I won’t make you pancakes in the morning.”

***

Sans watched his sister disappear around the corner before turning and leaning against the kitchen counter, trying to process what just happened. Krista seemed…  _ okay _ , almost like her old self. Well, as close to her old self as she could be. She knew his name, she knew who she was, and she wasn’t even freaked out by the mention of Chara.

The worst he could say was that she had completely checked out when he left to get the pear. Even after saying her name three times, she still didn’t look at him. But Krista did that fairly often. As long as he’d known her, her eyes would occasionally lose their focus on the world around her and she’d tune out anything that was happening. Sans didn’t know if it was some sort of way she protected herself or if it was something worse in which she imagined dark memories that hindered her joy of being in the present.

It was as often of a habit as when she touched her right arm. He didn’t know if it was to ensure she still had it or if it was the lure of the Death Vow. It was something she did anytime she was stressed or thinking about something that troubled her. Sans wondered if Krista was even aware of how often she fell into those two habits. On good days, they only showed up about five times each. On the bad days… Sans once counted eighteen vacant stares and thirty-two arm touches. Thinking of those days always motivated him to be a better brother for her; it was the least she deserved. But of course, he always seemed to fail her when it mattered.

That fact was why it amazed him that she  _ wasn’t  _ angry at him for shoving her away, for being possibly the worst brother he could have been. Her eyes had so much clarity and understanding in them, no judgement or rage. Was she simply happy to be free of Chara that she didn’t have it in her to be mad at him? The thought made Sans feel even more guilty.

Hell, Krista was actually able to smile and make a  _ joke _ . Sans would never complain about that, in fact it was the greatest gift she could have ever shown him, to reveal happiness after the unspeakable horrors that gave her every right to shove him away.

However... it also seemed kind of…  _ forced _ , as if she was desperately trying to prove to herself and him that she was alright. Sans knew a thing or two about that method, and he realized how much he hated seeing someone use it.

The most he could do now was what Papyrus suggested: be there for her. Krista needed support now more than ever, and that was saying something. Whether Chara came back soon or not didn’t matter, Sans was  _ determined  _ to ensure she would never know that kind of pain again. And that was one promise he wouldn’t fail to keep.


	20. The Favorite Heir

I wake to hearing the wind howling outside and the smell of pancakes, warm and safe. I know I had a dream, but I can’t remember the details. I’m fairly certain that’s a good thing.

Something cautiously presses on my thigh and my eyes snap onto the source, a small thrill of fear rippling through my chest.

Cody’s face is scrunched in a concerned expression, those big eyes practically seeing straight to my soul. I turn so I’m lying on my back and he walks along the edge of the couch to sit as close to me as possible. I reach up and stroke his head, grateful for his hesitancy; it gives me time to remind myself of all that happened and what is the present.

“I missed you,” I whisper, feeling the painful ache of what the world was like without him.

My puppy leans forward and sniffs in my face like he always used to, getting a couple licks in, too. Somehow, it’s enough to bring a smile to my face, and even a little giggle.

“Okay, I’m getting up,” I say, giving him a little hug before pushing myself up into a sitting position. Movement to my left catches my eyes and I look out the window to see so much snow it’s difficult to spot the trees on the other side of the path.

“It hasn’t stopped since it started almost three days ago,” Papyrus says from the kitchen and my head whips in his direction.

He turns the heat off on the stove and places a small pancake on top of a stack of two others. His expression holds so much concern and caution that I would think he’s looking at a starving wolf instead of his sister.

“That’s unusual,” I respond, glancing back at the blizzard outside. I know during the other Resets it didn’t snow so much. It’s as if the magic of the Underground itself understands the Resets and decides the weather that it wants for each run.

“Are you… feeling okay?” Papyrus asks, bringing my attention back to him.

I almost respond with, “ _Of course_ ,” but something stops me. How _do_ I feel?

“Um,” I start, remembering the near panic attack I had last night when I stepped into the shower too early. The cold water combined with my stuffed nose and ears made me feel like I was drowning for a few seconds. It didn’t last long, but it was enough to remind me that there is a _lot_ that I’m going to struggle to ignore.

Seeing all the dried blood I had to dig out of my ears made me realize how far I’ve pushed myself without caring. I want to live, don’t I? Then why have I been so cruel to my body? Maybe Chara made me realize just how unkind I’ve treated _myself_ over the years.

“I’m not really sure,” I admit, searching for what I _can_ feel. I’m not in pain, my head feels clear, but there’s an… emptiness sinking in my chest. It’s as if there’s something I need to do in order to find my old self, but I’m not sure how I can find that Krista.

“Does anything hurt?” Papyrus asks, cautiously approaching me.

“No, no, I’m fine,” I say, climbing off the couch and standing up. It’s only then that I see Sans sitting at his usual spot at the table.

He doesn’t watch me with the same caution as Papyrus, but I can tell that he’s unsure of what I’m going to do.

I sigh, “I guess I can’t convince you guys that I’m _truly_ fine?”

“Not in a million timelines,” Sans says.

“We just don’t want you to fake it,” Papyrus quickly admits, as if Sans’ response will insult me. “We want to help in any way possible.”

“Well, you two are doing a great job at it right now,” I say, walking over to the end of the table opposite to Sans and taking a seat so I face the front door. “Just help me make sure this is real.”

“Did she-” Sans is about to ask before cutting himself off.

“No, it’s okay. What is it?” I say.

“Did she use her illusion magic?”

For some reason, my answer is immediate. “No, there was no reason since she finally had a physical body. Why fabricate pain when you can simply cause it?”

I can tell he wants to ask more, but he hesitates, so I offer more information.

“She only used her illusions because it was the most she could do at the time. Now that she can do anything, I doubt she’ll pretend. Every attack will be real.”

For some reason, it actually feels like a relief to talk about what happened. Even though it makes it real, it also makes me feel like I’m actually recovering. When someone else knows, and they _understand_ the pain to some degree, it makes moving past it just a little bit easier.

“We don’t have to think about that last timeline now,” Papyrus says, his voice holding an urgency as if I’ll freak out if I talk about Chara any more.

“And now we wait for the next one,” I murmur, wondering how I’m going to face her again. If only there was some way I could resolve this, but how can I? How can I be any stronger than the Determination to rule all others?

The thought makes me straighten: didn’t I kill her, though? Which means… she’s _not_ all-powerful. And my magic… it’s different, but _how_ different? How does it function when I fight or defend?

Someone touches my shoulder and I flinch, looking up to see Papyrus’ concerned face. “You must be hungry,” he says in a soft tone, gesturing to the plate of three pancakes he placed in front of me without my notice.

“Oh, thanks,” I say, reaching for the jar of maple syrup in the center of the table when someone pounds on the front door.

The noise makes me jump and it sends a rush of fear through me before I hear the person speak. “Hey! A blizzard is not a good enough excuse to not come to work!” Undyne yells on the other side of the door.

Hearing her voice makes something splinter in my heart, reminding me of one more person I failed. And when Papyrus opens the door… seeing her face makes me think of when she melted from the pure Determination she possesses.

“What have the three of you been doing? The cooks at Sapphire’s have been clueless without their master chef,” she says, giving Papyrus a pointed look. “And you two-” she cuts herself off when she looks at Sans and I. “You two look _terrible_.” 

“Really? I didn’t notice,” Sans says, almost snapping at her.

Undyne puts her hands up as she kicks the door shut. “Hey, I’m just trying to figure out where the three of you have been. I know it’s a pretty bad storm out there, but you’re closer to Waterfall than anyone else in Snowdin. I’d think you’d start getting cabin fever, especially you, Papyrus.”

“Well…” he hesitates, glancing at me.

I know he doesn’t want to say the wrong thing, but what _can_ we say to justify staying here besides the truth?

“ _You_ definitely look like you need to get out of the house,” Undyne says, pointing a finger at me. “Come on, let’s have a little sparring match, it’s been a while.”

Both of the boys tense at that and my hand instinctively covers my right shoulder. I don’t feel up for sparring at _all_ . However… wouldn’t it be a good opportunity to test my magic? But… what if I can’t handle it? What if it’s too much on my body and Undyne hurts me or I hurt her? What if I end up losing focus and have a panic attack? Then I’d have to explain what _caused it_.

“I’ll watch you and Papyrus spar,” I try to joke.

Undyne frowns, “Nope, now come on.”

The captain walks to my side, and I see her hand shoot out a moment too late. She snares my upper right arm and tugs me off the chair, sending my brain into a panic. I yelp and leap back, slamming into the wall and seeing sparks burst across my vision. The next thing I know is Sans standing in front of me and Undyne several steps away, her face slack with a horrified expression.

“Okay, _what the hell_ has been going on with you three?” she demands.

“I think you need to leave,” Sans says in a hushed voice, his defensive stance so tense I would think he’s facing Chara instead of a friend.

“Absolutely not,” she snarls back. “Now, Krista, would you like to explain?”

I keep my right arm as close as possible with a protective hand wrapped over my shoulder. Undyne’s question burns into my mind as I try to conjure an answer. But I can’t find one as I start to see my detached arm lying in the snow and the bloody trail I left behind when Chara dragged me to the lake.

“She doesn’t need to explain anything,” I think I hear Sans say.

“I have a right to know!” the captain demands back.

“Undyne,” I say, forcing myself to look at her as I push my sleeve down to reveal my Death Vow. It’s the easiest explanation without saying the real cause.

She takes a few steps back as she stares at it in horror. The boys toss a knowing glance my way, understanding it’s not the true cause of my panic. In fact, a time when it once was seems so long ago.

“W- What-” Undyne cuts herself off as she tries to comprehend the injury.

“Give me a few minutes, and I’d be more than happy to take a walk through Waterfall and explain it to you,” I say, heading over to the attic door. I shove my sleeve back down, but I don’t take my left hand off my arm.

When I make it upstairs, Sans has already shortcutted up to the room.

“You can’t be serious,” he says.

“Yes, I am, Sans,” I reply, walking past him to my dresser. “I know I may seem fragile and defenseless right now, but I really think it’d be good for me to get some fresh air. I wasn’t tortured in Waterfall so I doubt I’ll freak out being there.”

“Are you going to spar with her?”

“Of course not,” I say, digging through a drawer to find a good shirt. A particular one I find near the top makes me freeze as reality and memories battle for my attention.

“Krista?” my brother’s muffled voice calls to me, but all I see is the white shirt with cherries on it, stained with fresh red and dried brown blood.

“Hey,” a hand grips my left arm and I lunge back from the dresser, seeing my detached arm all over again. My hands start to shake as I think of all the times I stared at those white sleeves: bleeding, dying, defenseless. My fingers slowly twitch into fists, protecting my nails from having needles shoved underneath them. It’s the only defense I have because I am weak and pathetic.

“ _Krista_ ,” a voice insists as hands cup my cheeks, making me focus on their owner.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as my eyes focus on Sans, reminding me of the present. I suddenly realize I had collapsed to the floor.

He sighs and wraps me in a hug, his steady strength making me notice just how much I’m shaking.

“I’m sorry,” I say again, as if repeating it enough will make me worthy of his concern. “I’m such a burden and a mess of a failure. I can’t do anything right, and she always wins.”

Tears squeeze out of my eyes as I hold onto him, knowing full-well that I deserve to be shoved away. I can’t even go five minutes without freaking out about something.

“I don’t know how I can convince you that you’re not any of those things,” he murmurs. “The most I can say is that I love you for everything that you are. You may have faults and failures, but you’re also kind and sweet and beautiful. I am so fortunate to get to call you my sister and have the privilege of your trust. You’re not a burden to me, and I will do everything in my power to be here for you from now on. Okay?”

I shakily pull away from him and wipe away my tears, completely in awe of his sincerity. “Okay,” is all I can say in response, struggling to believe him even though I know he’s being honest.

“Now, do you still want to go to Waterfall?” he gently asks.

For some reason, I don’t need to contemplate it, I just know. “Yes. I need to do something on my own to find that sense of freedom again. I don’t know why, but I think my memories of the last timeline will only come back stronger if I don’t distract myself.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

My heart aches from the genuine care in his voice, and I don’t ignore the fact that he’s giving me a _choice_.

“I think Undyne wants me to talk to her alone, and I guess I owe that to her. I don’t intend for it to be long, maybe only an hour.”

“Okay,” he hesitantly agrees. “If you start feeling overwhelmed or anything, don’t even make excuses; just do whatever it will take for you to feel safe.”

I nod and push myself to my feet, feeling a trickle of fear as my eyes land on the dresser again.

“It was that shirt with the cherries, right?” Sans softly asks, taking a few steps over to the dresser.

I nod again and look away when he reaches into the drawer, undoubtedly finding the shirt. I hear another drawer open and slam shut before looking back in his direction.

“I stuck it in the bottom drawer so you won’t have to see it,” he says.

“Thank you,” I whisper, genuinely wondering if anyone else besides Papyrus would be this patient and understanding with me.

“I’ll let her know you’re getting ready,” he says before shortcutting away.

I take a deep breath and approach my dresser again, searching for a shirt I haven’t worn in a long time. I realize I just need something different, something that the old Krista liked only enough to wear on occasion.

I find the long-sleeve shirt in the back corner of the drawer: a light cream color with little purple butterflies. At least Undyne will appreciate it. Then I dig out a pair of jeans, one exactly like my other five. That’s one thing that won’t change about me. Finally, I grab my dark green coat and hold it close, unsure of the last time I actually wore it. Putting it on is both a strange comfort and a seemingly undeserved reward.

It’s a mix of the familiar and the unfamiliar as I observe myself in the mirror. I still _look_ like me. My style and image define the version of myself I’ve come to like the most. But… when I look into my own eyes… I see something different. I’m not really sure if it’s a weakness or a strength that has emerged from what I experienced. I just feel… _different_. Is it my magic? Or is it because I spent nearly a month not even knowing who I am?

I sigh and rub my face, feeling so lost yet so certain at the same time. I know who I am, where I’ve come from, who I love, and who hates me. But I don’t know where to go now, how to face the future, how to cope with what happened, and how to resolve the problems I’ve created.

I toss my hair a couple times and take a deep breath, closing my eyes to find some sense of focus.

_You are safe. You are home. You are alive._

Isn’t that enough to convince me to go on? To do the one thing I was born to stand for?

_Persevere, purple SOUL, daughter of enemies._

I lift my chin and straighten my posture. I can keep going, not just because it’s part of who I am, but because I refuse to believe there aren’t still good things in store for me.

***

Undyne and I step into Waterfall only a few minutes later, but despite her earlier urgency, she doesn’t speak for quite a while. Even after the howling winds are silenced into the calm echoes of water on rock, she waits until we’re past the Wishing Room.

“So… what happened to your arm?” she asks, her tone more gentle than I’ve heard in a long time.

“It’s called a Death Vow,” I explain, “and if you open the wound, whoever has the claim on your life can come to kill you.”

“And _how_ did that happen?” she insists.

“I was attacked by the creature that created it,” I lie, figuring there’s no point in delving into all the problems with Flowey.

“And why did you never tell me about this?” she asks sharply.

I shrug, “Didn’t want to worry you.”

Undyne scoffs, “You think I’d _worry_?”

“Sorry, I mean you’d hunt down that creature and likely get hurt in the process of trying to kill it.”

She smirks, “Well that’s a better assumption, but what makes you think I’d get hurt?”

I raise an eyebrow, “You’re an amazing fighter, but forgive me if I think there are some creatures who could _possibly_ win in a fight against you.”

“Like who?”

“Do I need to mention your eye?”

Undyne frowns, “That wasn’t actually a fight.”

“Fair enough. All I’m saying is… well you know me; I tend to keep my problems quiet if I think they’ll inconvenience other people. I tried to hide it from my brothers, too.”

The captain shakes her head as we reach the Ponds, “You’ve definitely proven that truth.”

My hand instinctively drifts up to the crescent scar on my collarbone, the one Undyne caused the day she learned about my scars. Damn, that feels like _ages_ ago.

Instead of letting the bird take us across to her house, Undyne takes a right and leads us down the path around the Ponds. The Echo Flowers whisper the handful of wishes they remember while others merely reflect the calming rush of the waterfalls. I expect her to walk all the way to the cavern where we can see the castle, but she only turns down a small path to a dead end.

I pause in question when Undyne merely leans against the rock wall and slides down, patting the grass beside her for me to follow. I cautiously follow her order, unsure why she didn’t want to talk in her house.

“I want you to be honest with me,” Undyne says, her voice holding a solemnness I don’t expect.

“Okay,” I say, unsure of what she’s trying to get at. There’s no way she can sense the change in me, can she?

“There’s something different about you, and it honestly terrifies me a little.”

That’s not comforting at _all_. “You? Terrified?” I ask like it’s a joke.

She locks her yellow eye on me. “I’m being _serious_ , Krista.”

“Okay, okay, what do you think is different?”

She squints just the slightest bit. “Just last month, you were having the best night of your life on Remember Day. I may not be your sibling, but I think I’m pretty good at judging your moods. And that night was clearly the best you’d had in probably forever. Now… there’s something vacant in your eyes, like someone took all of your happiness and erased it from your mind. What’s going on?”

I swallow, unsure of how I can tip-toe around this. But then again… would it hurt to explain? This will all be Reset eventually. The thought sends a pang of terror through me at that inevitable reality. Chara _will_ come back… but will she succeed just as triumphantly as she did last time?

“See, something _is_ when you look at me like that,” Undyne insists and I force myself to focus on her again.

“Sorry, what?”

“You zone out whenever something bothers you. Papyrus has noticed it, and Sans has seen it more often than anyone. Ever since they mentioned it a couple weeks ago, I see what they mean. Now what is it?”

“It’s… very tricky to explain,” I hesitate, feeling the emotions build at even _trying_ to describe the truth.

“Fine, then I’ll fight you for answers,” Undyne says, jumping up to her feet.

“What?”

“Yep, we’re gonna spar and every time you lose means you have to explain one detail to me.”

“Undyne… that’s not fair,” I say.

“Why not? I’ll give you a couple victories here and there, especially if you just explain it all now,” she flashes a mischievous grin.

“No, you have no idea how difficult that would be for me,” I say as I stand up, surprising myself with the admission.

The captain tilts her head, “And why is that?”

“Because you wouldn’t believe me,” I lie, holding back my true reasoning.

Undyne scoffs, “Really? I doubt there is anything crazy enough that you could come up with that I wouldn’t believe.”

“Are you sure about that?” I hiss, feeling my magic inch its way up with my anger.

“One hundred percent. Now come on, we’ll do it at my place. I only came here just because I know how much you love the Ponds. I was kinda hoping hearing the waterfalls would be… therapeutic for you.”

I give her a faint smirk for the consideration. “Thanks.” 

She heads back towards the bird, and I follow despite my better instincts. I can’t run from her, but what am I going to do instead?

The bird takes us over one by one and I follow just to the entrance to the small courtyard in front of Undyne’s house.

“Come on,” she chirps, standing in the center of the courtyard and forming a spear. “Attack first or I will.”

“Undyne-” I start, unsure of what I’ll say when I sense one of her yellow spears behind me. I duck and she lunges forward, bringing down her cyan spear like a sword.

On instinct, I form a shield and squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to think of when Frisk attacked me as I feel the captain’s spear impact my magic. Fear that my defenses aren’t good enough begin to bubble up when I hear her yell in surprise.

My eyes snap up to see Undyne flat on her back on the other side of the courtyard, and I don’t pay attention to my shield as I immediately eliminate it and rush to her side.

“Undyne! I’m sorry! Are you okay?” I ask in a panic, glancing at my hands to remember the chaos my magic now seems to live by. 

_What did I do?_

Her sudden chuckle surprises me as she launches up into a sitting position and low-fives my limp hands. “That’s what I’m talking about! Where have you been hiding all that power!?”

“You’re not hurt?” I cautiously ask.

Undyne laughs, “It’ll probably hurt tomorrow, but that was freaking worth it! That’s gotta be a hundred times stronger than all of your defenses combined! How’d you do it?”

“I-” I hesitate when a voice suddenly squeals from the entrance to the courtyard.

“Hoi!!!”

Temmie, that strange little white cat with her hidden shop of nonsensical goods, jumps up and down across the yard. Her black eyes peer at us with wonder before she walks over and wraps a paw around my wrist.

“Human mus come! Tem hava somethin’ to show youuu!” she insists.

I look to Undyne for help and she merely smirks, “Go ahead, it might take me a few minutes to recover from that defense.”

“But I don’t think-”

“Greaaaaaat!” Temmie announces, tugging me forward. “Come, come! Tem hava ver good surprise!”

I give Undyne one last look for help and she merely winks, subjecting me to the whims of arguably the strangest creature in the Underground.

I push myself up to my feet and follow the little cat, feeling a pang of suspicion at what she wants. Temmie doesn’t know me, what could she possibly want me to see?

We turn left and she tugs me into the room that leads down to her shop. But we don’t go to her shop, we continue on into the darkening lantern room. Temmie leads me down the path to the lower portion of the room, but she doesn’t turn left, instead she pulls me off the path and into the darkness beyond.

“Temmie,” I try to argue when she cuts me off.

“Ver close, veryyyyyyy!!!!” she squeals, the darkness consuming the path and everything around us. Even the Ceiling Stars disappear and my panic slowly starts to kick in when she suddenly stops.

“We’re heeeere! Reach!”

I squint down at her even though I can’t see the little cat before reaching forward and feeling a cool door handle.

 _No_.

“Temmie-”

“Open, open!!!” she insists.

I slowly turn the knob and pull the door open to reveal more darkness. 

Temmie giggles, “Boi!”

“Wait-” I feel her shove me forward, and I stumble into the darkness, turning around to hear the door slam shut with a booming echo.

“Oh, you little-”

“Don’t be too mad at the cat, after all, it was _I_ who controlled her,” a voice says.

It’s different from when I first heard it, softer and less demanding... but still egotistical.

“So now you want a piece of the-” I turn around to see my ancestor towering over me, dressed in the extravagance of an ancient king. 

Silver armor covers his chest over his black tunic with dark gold accents. Black boots reach up to about mid-calf and shine even though there isn’t any light. A deep red cape is draped across his shoulders, reaching all the way to the ground and trimmed with a rim of gold. An elaborate ruby crown rests on his head of black hair with seven gems evenly placed in between the base and the wicked seven spikes. There’s a gem for each SOUL trait with deep crimson resting front and center.

He smirks down at me with eyes as deep red as Chara’s, rimmed with thick black lashes that attempt to hide his secrets. His square jaw and broad nose are practically opposites to my features, making me feel a sense of relief that I favor the Meadows traits more.

“Pie,” I finish, almost forgetting what I was saying.

Xanvalus Reluken Trussezon Curonius widens his smirk, amused that I finally understand his might by seeing him in the flesh. Or… well whatever this image is. Who knows, maybe he was actually as short as I am instead of this towering figure of strength and power.

“I’m glad to see your wits haven’t been entirely destroyed, my little Heir,” he says with all the superiority I would expect from a king.

“You always knew, didn’t you?” I hiss.

“I had my suspicions; a SOUL as unique as yours could not have descended from anyone but myself and Erivellia. Speaking of which,” he takes a step closer and I immediately step back, “why don’t you show off your new level of power?”

“ _No_ ,” I snarl, shoving down my challenging flare of magic that threatens to surface.

“But don’t you want a win for once? You could obliterate me right here if you really wanted to,” he taunts.

“I’m not playing this game,” I hiss, turning for the door to see it’s gone.

“Oh, but you must, my dear Heir, for I have a gift for you.”

I turn back to him and cross my arms. “If you want an heir to do your dirty work, go get Remus.”

“I cannot reach the other side of the country as much as I’d like to. Besides, you’re my favorite.”

“You hate me and everything I stand for.”

“Not true, now do you want your gift?”

“ _No_.”

“Well, too bad, little Heir.”

A black mist seems to rise in the air, and even though I can’t see it, I can sense it. The mist combines into vines, and they reach for me, swirling near my hands.

I lunge back and the vines simply follow, not attacking me, just hovering near my hands, as if they’re mine to command. As much as I hate to, I look to Xanvalus in question.

“Since you killed the ruler of the Void, the power is yours now. Chara will never be able to access this place again. After all, she betrayed its citizens.”

Xanvalus waves a hand and every SOUL in the Void appears, all peering at me in question. I don’t see Gaster, but I spot Lily in a second and my heart aches with guilt.

“As its former ruler, I am the current steward of the Void’s power until a new SOUL commands it. No one deserves it more than you, my Heir.”

I glance down at those black vines again, sensing the twisted power they hold. My own magic seems to recoil with distrust, but I know it would merge with the Void’s power if I allowed it.

“What do you say, little queen?” Xanvalus asks as a figure appears in my peripheral vision: Gaster. “Will you rule us?”

I look to Lily and she watches with wide eyes, as if to tell me it’s a trick. My gaze drift down to the vines again, and I don’t even have to close my eyes to see them wrap around my wrists.

“Or… under your permission,” Xanvalus hints, “you could give the power to _someone_ else.”

I look back up at him and his eyes say he knows what this power would do to me. I’d become lost in the Void, traumatizing myself and others before ultimately losing everything that makes me, _me_.

My gaze drifts to the right and I see Gaster, his expression unreadable as he waits for my decision. I know Xanvalus wants me to give it back to him; he probably only believes a human can possess this power. But I don’t think so as I look up at him again.

“Fine, I do not accept the rule over the Void. Instead, I bequeath it to…” I pause as I consider the decision, almost smirking at the hope that flickers in his eyes. He didn’t say there are any rules against who can gain the power, which means I can choose _anybody_. And who will be the best person to take this power from Chara? Who would keep the Void in check and use its strength only when necessary?

I lift my chin and stare straight into my ancestor’s eyes. Xanvalus says I’m his favorite Heir? If he didn’t hate me before, he’s going to hate me now. “Congratulations, King Wingdings Gaster, ruler of the Void.”

Xanvalus and all the others gasp as I finally look at the scientist. “I know you will not abuse your power.”

Something flickers in Gaster’s eyes, but I’m not sure what it is as he lifts his chin. “I accept, Perseverant.”

Xanvalus scoffs, “He’s a _monster_. Have you forgotten all that he has done to so many humans and yourself?”

“No, but that does not mean he is unfit to rule the _Void_ ,” I counter. 

The Determination wizard is about to retort when I snap my fingers to address all of them, stepping around the image of my ancestor to speak to the SOULs that matter. “You are no longer Chara’s to command. Gaster is your ruler now, and if he does _anything_ immoral, you answer to Lily. If your concerns are still not addressed, _then_ you answer to me. I understand that the Void is a dark and lifeless place, and perhaps in the future, we can work to find ways to get you back to the real world.” 

I hear a light chuckle to my left and fix my gaze on Gregan, the monster holding a head in its hand. “Do you have a retort, Gregan?” I ask.

“At least Chara gave us a promise, _and_ she fulfilled it,” he hisses.

“For how long?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Well… you distracted her.”

“ _I_ did?” I ask, approaching him and feeling a spark of surprise that I have no fear.

He scoffs, “You got in the way for a month.”

“Oh, I see… so you’re saying it was _my choice_ to be tortured?”

“If you weren’t so stubborn then maybe she would have killed you and been done with it. But no, you just couldn’t accept that she is the true queen. You deserved every second of-”

Gregan’s voice cuts off as his hand tightens around the head it holds, squeezing tighter and tighter until it’s crushed and he crumbles into gray dust. I step back in surprise and hear Gaster clear his throat.

“As the new ruler of the Void, I would say the issue of our freedom is not your concern, Perseverant.”

The black vines now swirl at his feet, reaching up to his black lab coat and looping around his hands. Did he just… _kill_ Gregan? Another monster?

Xanvalus laughs, “So now you’re turning on your _own_ kind?”

“And Xanvalus, we no longer have any tolerance for your presence,” Gaster announces, waving away the once-king like crumbs off a table. The former Determination wizard disappears before he can react, as if he was merely a child pretending to be a king.

I look back at all the gathered monsters in question, a little nervous that I’m the next victim when Lily runs up and gives me a bow.

“Lil-” I’m about to say, cut off when all the others, except Gaster, bow, too, with pure sincerity in their expressions.

“You gave us the closest chance to freedom we’ll ever get. We can’t roam the world like this; our time is done. But the Void will be a less miserable place without either of their rule. Thank you,” Lily says, nuzzling my arm as her way of giving a hug.

Then they all disappear, except for Gaster. I face him and make the most confused expression I can muster. “How could _you_ kill a _monster_?” 

He shrugs, “Technically Gregan was already dead; we all are.”

“But why did you do it?”

He quietly sighs, “It’s the least I can do for you.”

“How much do you actually see of the outside world from here?”

“Just fragments of the most important events, especially those involving large quantities of magic.”

“So… for the entire last timeline…”

“Gregan was amused by the torture; the others were horrified. I felt it was excessive and unnecessary.”

“Gee, thanks,” I say, turning and searching for the door.

“But it gave you what is now your greatest strength: a level of magic that some of the wizards never even achieved.”

“And that made the month worth it?” I almost snap, knowing how firm his belief is in gaining strength through pain.

He shrugs, “As I said, the extremes were unnecessary, but you would have never been strong enough to kill her without what she put you through.”

“Of course,” I mumble, still searching for an exit when a white door appears behind me.

“And you will have to face her several more times before her control truly ends. Chara may not have the Void, but she still has power over time.”

“How am I supposed to stop her?”

“That is for you to figure out.”

I feel the ghost of a smirk on my face. I’m not sure if he genuinely doesn’t know or if he just wants me to figure it out for myself.

“Your ancestor will no longer have any influence inside or outside of the Void; I assume that will not upset you,” he suddenly says.

“No, it won’t,” I reply, backing up to the door and pausing. “Thank you… for accepting the role.”

He slightly inclines his head, the greatest show of respect he’ll probably ever give me. “If you ever need assistance against Chara, it is possible that I may be able to offer it.”

I raise an eyebrow, “Really?”

“Do not hold a promise to me, but I would be willing, if it meant she would finally lose for good.”

I can only nod with gratitude before stepping out of the Void, somewhat glad that there’s finally something the two of us can agree on.

“Tem sowwy!” Temmie whines when I shut the door, and I jump back in fear that I might step on her in the darkness. “Tem didn’t know!”

“It’s okay,” I tell her, shaking off the chill of the Void before cautiously walking forward.

“What can Tem do to make it up?”

“Uh, just don’t do it again?” I say as we reach the lantern room.

“Ok! Tem will be good! Boi!” she says before taking off.

I shake my head in amusement as I make my way back to Undyne’s house. She stands in the courtyard, flipping a spear.

“Well that was fast. Did she make you taste-test a new line of ‘Tem flakes’?”

I smirk, “Something like that.”

“Are you ready for another round, then?” Undyne challenges.

I hesitate, but then I wonder… would it be best if I practice? Should I try to figure out this new strength? I don’t want to hurt her, but then again, wouldn’t I have better control in a real fight?

“Sure, but only a couple more; I told Sans I’d be back in an hour.”

The captain flips her spear. “With the kind of strength you’ve gained, I might call it quits in five minutes.”

“I should hope not.”

“Oh no, Krista,” she smirks, excitement sparkling in her eye, “prove me right.”


	21. Unreliable Hopes

I guess I do prove Undyne right since she hits the ground on the other side of the courtyard three more times. I only stick to defense, unsure how much an attack would hurt her despite her challenges.

We make it back to the house twenty minutes later, welcomed by the concerned eyes of my brothers. I shrug them away and allow Undyne to explain the “excitement” of the last hour.

“I don’t know how you’ve gotten your magic so strong, but it is amazing!” Undyne yells triumphantly, picking up one of the high chairs to express her enthusiasm. “I feel like I need to spar for a few hours, because all you did was defend,” she gives me a wry look. “And I didn’t get any answers!”

I can’t help my meek expression, “I technically won, didn’t I?”

She squints a bit before waving me away, “Fine, you win this round, human, which means Papyrus, we’re gonna spar!”

“Right now?” my brother asks.

“Yes! My place! And then I’m dragging you to the City so you’ll get some work done!”

“But I-”

Undyne grabs his arm and drags him out the door. “See you guys tonight! Don’t bother making dinner; we’ll get something from the City!”

Papyrus gives me a concerned expression and I merely wave and smile, hoping it will ease his fears for me. His expression softens in understanding and he lets Undyne drag him out the door.

“Poor Paps, he’s stuck with her for the rest of the day,” I try to joke before facing Sans’ unamused expression. “What? I was back within an hour.”

“And you  _ sparred _ ?” he asks, not angry, but slightly fearful.

“I didn’t fight; I just defended,” I argue before mumbling in a softer voice, “and even  _ that  _ was enough to throw her across the courtyard.”

“So your magic’s back to full strength?”

“I’m… not really sure, it’s just… different from how it used to be. Everyone seems to think I should be  _ grateful  _ to Chara for it.”

“‘Everyone’?”

I wince, “Do you want to sit down so I can explain this?”

He does and I go over all that happened, unsure of how he’ll react to my giving Gaster control of the Void. Sans is quiet when I finish, and I fear the worst when he finally says, “I guess control would be better in a monster’s hands.”

“I didn’t want to give it to Lily since I thought it’d overwhelm her, and I… I don’t think I could manage that type of power. All I could think of was what Chara did with it, and Gaster was the only other monster I knew there so I thought-”

“Hey, I’m not mad; your choice makes sense. As long as he doesn’t bother us, I’m fine that you gave the Void to him.”

“He actually offered to  _ help  _ us if the time came, but he also said it’s not a promise we should hold him to.”

“I’m not surprised,” Sans scoffs.

“But at least we have one less thing to worry about, right? The Void is out of Chara’s hands.”

“And how angry do you think she’ll be when she comes back to discover that?”

I bite my lip, “I’m still baffled that she hasn’t Reset yet. What is she waiting for?”

“Maybe her pride is mortally wounded,” Sans says, standing up and heading into the kitchen. “I ate your pancakes since they got cold, what do you want instead?”

An idea hits me and I smile, “Is Grillby’s open?”

Sans sticks his head out of the kitchen with the kind of genuine smile I wish came easier for him. “I was hoping you’d ask that.”

***

The blizzard finally stops by nighttime, and people emerge from their homes to either brush the snow off their doorsteps or to watch their kids excitedly build snowmen. Grillby’s was still open despite the storm and surprisingly packed with the dogs from the Royal Guard. But it seems that no one else had the courage to leave their homes until the winds finally died down.

I lean against the house and sip my hot chocolate, watching the kids play down the path and treasuring the sound of their laughter. True to her word, Undyne brought dinner from Sapphire’s when she and Papyrus returned about an hour and a half ago. She didn’t bring up any more questions for me and instead spent the whole time talking about how much better Papyrus has gotten with sparring. After she left, I told the boys I was going to Lavora’s to get the hot beverage I now use to keep my hands warm. I guess I should go inside, but hearing those kids… I can’t help but take the time to see their happiness.

“Hey, you coming in?” Sans asks to my left from the front porch.

“Yeah… soon,” I say without looking at him.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, now right next to me.

“Nothing, I’m just… listening.”

He’s quiet for a minute, probably to understand what I mean when he asks, “All the people talking?”

“Close,” I reply before nodding to the kids, “them specifically.”

I spot Merrick among them, nudging a snowball with his head. The sight of him makes the guilt of Lily punch me in the stomach, and I selfishly remind myself that she’s at peace with what happened. But should that really be enough to ease my guilt?

“I’ve realized that is one reason worth living for,” I suddenly admit. “To make sure no kid has to grow up the way we did. Sure, we can’t prevent every case, but at least we can make sure those kids will see the Surface one day, free from fear.”

“Is the Surface even a possibility anymore?” Sans asks.

I bite my lip as I try to think of how that future can still be reached. The Surface  _ is  _ our final goal, isn’t it? I’ve gotten so lost in facing Chara that I’ve forgotten what was taken before all this. “Frisk may be gone, but… what if we could somehow get Chara to the Barrier room where the other SOULs are? What if there was a way we could…  _ force  _ her SOUL to be used to destroy the Barrier?”

“How could we even get her there without her figuring out what we’re doing? And why would it matter if she can just Reset?” Sans asks as something glimmers in his eyes. “I’m not putting down your idea, but I really don’t know how we can win if she always has control of time.”

I contemplate the idea, “Well… Frisk had control first, and Chara took it when she stole Frisk’s SOUL. Frisk’s body was destroyed and there are no traces of her in Chara since she was SOULless, which means…” I drop my hot chocolate when the horrifying idea hits me.

Sans catches it right before the cup hits the snow. “What? What is it?”

“A SOULless being can steal the SOUL and power of another without any traces of their personality or mindset remaining.” I look at my brother in horror as the pieces fall into place. “The only one who could take Chara’s power over time is Flowey.”

Sans’ face scrunches with distrust, “Are you  _ certain _ ? What if Chara was using the Void’s power to take Frisk’s SOUL? What if Chara had some control over Frisk which was why it was so easy to take her SOUL? Do you really want to hope that we can rely on  _ Flowey _ ? Besides, I highly doubt he’d be content with using a Determination SOUL on the Barrier when he could create his own rule over the Underground with it.”

“Do you have any better ideas on how we can win?” I blurt. 

Sans frowns, “No, but don’t you think Flowey would have stolen  _ someone’s  _ SOUL by now if he could?”

“He took control of the six human SOULs once he had access to them. I have a feeling he’s very choosy because of the kind of power he wants. When it comes to a SOUL like Chara’s, I’d think he’d want it more than anything.”

Sans takes a deep breath in consideration. “It’s not a crazy idea, and it is a pretty good theory. I’m just worried that we’re relying on too many assumptions.”

I shrug, “Why not try it?”

_ What do we have to lose _ is the unspoken reasoning, but I’m afraid voicing that would make me realize just how much  _ is  _ at risk then.

“But how are we ever going to convince  _ Flowey  _ to work with us?” Sans asks, bringing up what is possibly the most glaring issue.

“Maybe our friend can make him want to,” I smirk, tapping my Death Vow.

“ _ If _ she finds our plan amusing enough, but wouldn’t that mean she’s not exactly neutral like she claims the Whisperers are?”

“I really don’t think the Whisperers are actually neutral; I think they just say that as an excuse to not get involved in situations they don’t want to have anything to do with.”

“I guess my only remaining concern would be Chara herself,” Sans says, his voice lowering.

“Do you mean facing her?”

“Anything and everything concerning being  _ near  _ her, can you do it?” he asks with genuine concern.

My gaze drifts away and I touch my right shoulder in contemplation.  _ Can  _ I do it? Or was my killing attack just a fluke? What if I’ll never be strong enough to do that again? What use would I be to the monsters then? I guess it means… I have to  _ force  _ myself to be better. I can’t let fears and uncertainties get in the way. I need to have control, not just over myself but the situation, too. Chara will never back down, which means I must also be  _ relentless _ .

“I… need to work on my magic more. If we can get Flowey to agree, then we’ll have to corner Chara in the Barrier room. I’d probably have to draw out her SOUL and he’d take it-”

A new thought replaces my original idea and Sans voices it for me. “Why would we even need Flowey then? Why not contain the SOUL and then use it on the Barrier?”

“Well… the SOUL would still be Chara’s then, which means we’d risk her Resetting unless we were absolutely  _ certain  _ that we had full control.”

“And a certainty like that is pretty much impossible, right?” he murmurs, knowing my use of ‘we’ should actually be ‘ _ I _ .’

I bite my lip, “I wish I could say it wasn’t, but… the better chance is trusting Flowey rather than the strength of my magic.”

“What if you could practice a technique like that?” Sans suggests, seemingly cautious.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you practicing taking control of SOULs.”

I take a step away from him on instinct, as if I can run from the suggestion. “You… you can’t be serious.”

He shrugs, “Do you really think we can rely on Flowey?”

“Do you honestly think you can rely on  _ me _ ?”

“I would rather it be you than him.”

“I don’t… I don’t think I can, not after what Chara-” my panic starts to build the more I think about it. What she did to me, Mable, my dad, and Frisk, how could I do the same thing? I can’t be like her, and I refuse to  _ become  _ her.

“Krista, have you ever tried?” Sans asks, just slightly dimming my panic.

“N- no, or at least, not successfully.” I think I might have tried at some point, but I am certain I never succeeded.

“Then let’s start small, try gaining control of Cody’s SOUL and work your way up to… Lissaria?”

A choked laugh escapes me at the thought, “You’re serious?”

“I am. It’s the only way you can get skilled enough to feel confident against Chara.”

I take a deep breath as I consider the possibility. It  _ would  _ be a safer method than trusting Flowey, and I might actually be able to do it with how my magic has changed. But… can I overcome the terror I associate with controlling SOULs? And when it comes down to it, will I even be able to step into the Barrier room to end it all? 

The idea makes me wonder… since my magic has changed so much, how  _ would  _ I react if I entered the Barrier room again? I’m not sure I want to know until I’ve practiced more.

“Fine, you win. I’ll start with Cody,” I say, grabbing my cup of hot chocolate from him and taking a quick sip as my eyes roam back to the kids playing in the snow. I want them to have a future on the Surface, don’t I? In order to give them that freedom, I need to stop being so selfish.

I nod towards the house and we head inside to where Papyrus is watching one of Mettaton’s “talent” shows. They’re essentially another way for Mettaton to talk about how he can improve everyone else’s skills with his oh-so-perfect expertise. At least he’s stopped bragging about his cooking abilities ever since Papyrus got his own show.

I finish the rest of my hot chocolate and chuck the cup in the trash, turning around to realize the TV is now off. It’s just my brothers and Cody on the couch, watching me with wary eyes. I walk up and toss a look between them, unsure of what they’re thinking.

“Did you explain to them what we talked about?” I ask Sans even though he couldn’t have in such a short amount of time.

“Krista, you can’t honestly think I was being serious,” he says, making me shake my head in surprise.

“What are you talking about? Of course that was serious, and I truly think it’s a good plan.”

Sans and Papyrus exchange a glance, as if… as if they planned this. I tense at the sudden punch of betrayal; they kept a  _ secret  _ from me? I guess I have no right to be angry; I’m probably the worst offender, but it still hurts nonetheless.

“Was the conversation we just had… all an act?” I ask Sans, hating the hurt that simmers under my tone.

He immediately goes on the defensive, “No, we were just wondering… what your thoughts were for the future.”

_ We _ .

I look to Papyrus since he  _ tends  _ to be more honest. “What do you mean?”

My taller brother avoids my gaze as he says, “Sans and I were talking, and we agreed that you shouldn’t have to fight Chara ever again. We think you should… stay as far from her as possible from now on.”

I scoff, “Are you  _ serious _ ?”

An insistent expression twists Sans’ features. “Krista-”

“No! Why don’t you just say it? Admit that you think I’m too weak and pathetic to face her again. Because that’s what you believe, isn’t it? That’s what the whole damn world believes since I have always lost to her. But guess what? Who killed her in  _ this  _ timeline!? Who is the reason that she lost power over the Void? I did that! I finally won for once in my miserable life, and  _ now  _ you doubt me? We might actually have a chance if I follow your suggestion, and you want me to back away? Who’s going to defeat her then? And don’t you  _ dare  _ suggest yourselves because you can bet all the wishes in Waterfall that I won’t allow that!”

“Krista,” Sans says again, much softer this time, “your eyes are glowing.”

I scoff again, “So you’re going to change the subject?  _ You _ just want me to forget that the only wish I made that  _ might _ come true demands a sacrifice. I think we can all say for certain whose life that has to be.”

Something flares in Sans’ eyes and he stands up to face me. “What makes you think it can only be you? What if it’s me who has to die?”

I can’t help but roll my eyes, “Really? Of course it has to be me, after every-”

“I’m not even supposed to be alive right now. Hell, I was  _ made  _ to be used against the Barrier. What if that’s always been my fate?”

“Well, good thing  _ I’m  _ here to ensure that doesn’t happen.”

“And what if I don’t allow it? What if I see more sense in you living instead?”

“Seriously? I’ve had my good days, there’s nothing that life could offer me that would make me value mine over yours.”

“You barely had seven years of happiness.”

“And that’s seven more than you’ve had! Now, I couldn’t save Mable, but I can make sure I don’t fail again. So in the next timeline,  _ you  _ stay the hell away from Chara and let me finish what she started.”

“You think-”

A force suddenly pushes me back and freezes me in place as Papyrus says, “Stop it!”

I finally look at him, standing between Sans and I as his eyes burn a fierce orange. “Both of you stop it right now,” he hisses, letting go of his blue magic on us.

I shake off a shudder of the feeling and give him my attention, suddenly feeling guilty for forgetting he was here.

“We’re finally together again after the most horrific timeline that’s ever happened and you’re both fighting. Can’t you see what’s wrong with that?” he asks, his eyes dimming as they dart back and forth between Sans and I. 

My anger immediately dies as I stare at Papyrus, suddenly feeling so guilty that I didn’t consider how  _ he  _ might feel about all this.

“I may not remember any of the previous timelines, but I can certainly tell that they’ve changed both of you,” Papyrus says, his tone more insistent and harsh than I think I’ve ever heard it. He turns to Sans, “ _ You _ need to stop seeing yourself as meaningless, and stop blaming yourself for every bad thing that happens even though you have no way of controlling it. That also means stop trying to favor one of us more than the other because all you do is regret it when something bad happens to the person you’ve been paying less attention to.”

Then he turns to me, “ _ Krista _ , it should not be possible that you are capable of placing so much guilt on yourself that you believe you  _ deserve  _ every bad thing that happens to you.  _ No one _ , not even  _ Chara _ , deserves to experience all you’ve been through, and you still think that isn’t enough? You still think there’s no way we can remain on the Surface for good without you dying? When are you going to realize that us loving you means you have to let us give something up so you don’t have to? You’re not selfish for allowing that, and you really shouldn’t be angry when we’re just trying to help. Yes, we know that we can’t protect you from Chara, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try to find some way to make sure you never feel the pain of the last timeline again.”

I take a step back, pained by the heavy truth of his words yet in denial of them at the same time. I can tell he believes what he says with all his SOUL, but… that’s just what  _ he  _ believes, it’s not necessarily a universal truth.

“I hate that I can’t remember timelines, especially since they seem to be getting worse and worse. But remember what I say now because it’s true no matter what,” Papyrus insists, looking between us. “We  _ all  _ deserve the Surface and lives free of fear. No one out of the three of us deserves it any less than the other, which means  _ none  _ of us will die for good.”

He gives me a pointed look and I inch back again, instinctively denying his words because I’ve never seen a distant future for myself. I have always expected to die young and there’s no sense in dreaming about the alternative now.

“I just want you to find some sense of peace,” Sans says, finally looking at me again.

I shake my head, “Peace? You both know me well enough to tell that’s impossible, especially as long as Chara is still around. It means the only option for me, is to finally be good enough to deserve the people I love.”

I head for the front door and grab the doorknob, only pausing when Sans says, “Where are you going?”

“I need to be alone for a while, don’t wait up.” 

Then I step outside and rush into the blizzard before either of the boys can follow, ensuring I act just fast enough to bury my building regrets.

***

Somehow, someway, I make it all the way to MTT Resort without even being entirely aware of my surroundings. I don’t remember hearing anybody or running into any obstacles; I might as well have been walking down a straight, empty path.

While it is nighttime and most of the monsters are asleep by now, the nocturnal ones can often be unpredictable. There are the bats that claim to see predictions of the future swirling in the shadows or the spiders that will try to steal gold coins without so much as a promise of sprinkled powdered sugar. But maybe tonight, they could all sense my mood and stayed the hell away from me.

I don’t even consciously think of where I’m going until I punch the button on the slow elevator that leads to Lissaria’s hiding place. I don’t even realize what I want until I’m standing in her hallway, dimmer than it has ever been before.

The silence grates at me as I walk down the uneven stone floor, turning right to look down her faintly black-lit stairwell. The Whisperer is nowhere in sight.

I begin to creep down the steps, my eyes straining to see and my magic begging to be used as light. I don’t listen to it until I finally reach a point where there’s nothing to see but the faint blacklight stars when I look back a few yards away. She’s probably hiding from me; there’s no way she wouldn’t know I was coming, even if I wasn’t thinking it myself.

I form a globe of magic and it flickers shadows on the wall like flame. It’s brighter than the basic globes I used to make, yet the purple outline simultaneously seems to be a bit darker in color.

“To what demon do I owe the pleasure of such an  _ unexpected  _ visit?” Lissaria purrs behind me and I turn to face her, not feeling a speck of fear.

“I’m sure that last timeline was quite amusing for you,” I sneer.

Her golden eyes glitter in my purple light. “On the contrary, I found it to be a bit… extreme, even for my tastes. Why do you think I wanted to end it prematurely?”

“You just wanted your Death Vow fulfilled so you’d no longer have anything to do with me,” I snap.

Lissaria lifts her chin, “My, my, you are really picking fights with  _ everyone  _ today. I can understand Xanvalus and even myself, but your friend and family? Did the last timeline really damage you that much? Where’s the sweet little girl the Underground is so fond of?”

“As you can see,” I hiss, lifting my globe, “parts of me really did die for good.”

“Such a shame, Chara will be quite satisfied with her work when you reveal the depths of the damage she did.”

“And then she’ll regret _everything_ when she realizes what that made me become.”  
Lissaria smirks, “And what _are_ you now, Krista? A queen? A warrior? A survivor? Or… an executioner?”

My bravado wavers the tiniest bit when the words hit me because… I really don’t  _ know  _ who I am now or who I’m supposed to be. I feel like my own personality has been ripped to shreds and roughly patched back together. As far as I can tell, I remember everything I’ve ever known, but the damaging consequences of what Chara put me through have left me numb. I feel like I’m struggling against so much that all I have left is the strength I’ve gained in the aftermath. So I force my own smirk and reply, “I was hoping you’d help me find the right word.”

The dragon seems intrigued, “And how can I help you achieve that?”

“Spar with me.”

Lissaria huffs a flash of blacklight fire as she laughs, her voice increasing in volume until it’s nearly a roar. It takes her a full minute to calm down, and I stare at her with an unamused expression. I had a feeling she’d find my request hilarious, but her reaction is still insulting.

“You think enduring a month of torture suddenly makes you capable of winning against a  _ Magic Whisperer _ ?”

“No, but I’d rather accidentally hurt you than my brothers.”

Her amusement diminishes from my insistent tone. “As fun as that sounds, I fear this newfound strength may be too much for your fragile little body.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” I snap, fed up with people pointing out how my stature is so much like a child’s.

“Oh calm down, it has nothing to do with your height. It’s how much damage you’ve taken both physically and mentally within the past month. Sure, you may feel healthy, but you know deep down how easy it is to succumb to subtle reminders of past pain. One attack from me could leave you defenseless if I hit the right spot, and you  _ know  _ I can find that spot better than anyone.”

Her words only add fuel to my rage as I feel my magic build and I transform my globe into a sword. “Then you’ll be getting exactly what you want; I fail to see who loses if we spar. It will subdue my ‘childish’ impulses and you can feel satisfied knowing you put me in my place.”

Lissaria’s eyes narrow the slightest bit, “So your eyes  _ do  _ glow when you get upset now, interesting.”

“Stop trying to change the subject!” I yell, losing any sense of what I’m angry about. I don’t know, it could be anything: my failure, all the responsibilities, my brothers’ insistence that I shouldn’t carry the burden of defeating Chara, or the sheer frustration that I can never  _ truly  _ be strong enough.

The dragon sighs as she stares me down. “You are walking a  _ very  _ fine line, Krista Meadows. Remember that those with greater power are more likely to become lost in it. If you keep this up, you will destroy yourself and everyone in the Underground if you only rely on your own strengths.”

“And why would  _ you  _ care? You’re supposed to be neutral to everything that happens,” I snap, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes from the painful truth of her words.

Lissaria smirks, “Because I’ve realized for the first time in my life that I want a conflict to end a certain way, and that is you destroying Chara once and for all. So… I will spar with you, but keep in mind that I only do this to get you out of this incredibly unstable mindset you’re currently in. Also, I guess it will help you get a better understanding of your new magic, crossing a threshold of power tends to force humans to relearn their old strengths while discovering new ones.”

“Fine then,” I say, taking a deep breath and tightening my grip on my sword.

She lifts her head and allows little flickers of blacklight fire to escape from her nose and mouth. Not even giving me a warning before unleashing them in my direction. 

I immediately transform my sword into a shield and send an attack straight through it for her chest. It’s enough to make her pause her assault and allow me to eliminate my shield and head into the shadows towards the left. I need to get an understanding of her weaknesses, and my only chances will be with the advantage of darkness while she stands under the glow of her blacklight stars.

Lissaria recovers quickly and smirks, looking directly at me as she says, “You think I can’t see you? If your SOUL and Death Vow weren’t so glaringly obvious, I can still see everything in the dark. While you… well you’re still afraid of it, aren’t you?”

I think I see something out of the corner of my eye, and I instinctively form a sword towards it, the light from my magic revealing nothing.

“Oh Krista, it’s obvious you were never meant to be a warrior,” Lissaria says, and I turn back to see she’s disappeared. In fact, all the stars have gone out, too, and my light isn’t even enough to reach the walls on either side of me. It’s as if I’m in an endless cavern of darkness with no guide to get home.

“As much as you will probably deny it, you really did deserve the life your personality is suited for. A personality of genuine love and sweetness towards those around her should practically be required to have all the good things in life. A cozy home near a valley filled with wildflowers. Autumns walking through orchards and winters curled up by a fire. Springs tending gardens and summers catching fireflies. You deserved to have a loving mother and father with three adorable little siblings to look after. And yet here you are, farther from that than any SOUL could possibly be. Your experiences have certainly warped that sweetness into something more callous and less trusting.”

My heart begins to race as her voice moves all around from behind me to the side to even above my head. I don’t know if she’s actually speaking or if she’s doing it in my head while making sure it sounds like an echo in an empty cavern.

“Isn’t it funny how Fate turns our lives in directions we could have never predicted? If anyone went through all the possibilities of your life’s events, I am certain none would have predicted what actually happened. Even Chara did not intend for you to find your way to the Underground.”

“What’s your point?” I snap, searching for her SOUL and feeling a resistance against my magic’s wishes. Is she somehow able to  _ deny  _ my ability to sense SOULs?

“My point is that as much as you may wish you can be like a warrior, it is likely that will never happen. Sure, you can fight and use magic, but when it comes to an opponent as strong as  _ I  _ am...”

Something shoves me to the right with so much force I feel myself rolling on the rough rock until my back hits a wall. I see a flash in my mind’s eye of when Chara threw me against the wall in the Throne Room, and I shake my head to banish the image of the memory.

I force myself to my feet and am about to form my sword again when pain cuts deep into my Death Vow and I fall to my knees.

“... you never have a chance,” Lissaria finishes and I tuck my arm as close to myself as I can, helpless to the pain.

“So the question then becomes:  _ can  _ you defeat Chara? You suddenly have all this power, and you can barely use it. Was the success in this timeline only a one-time occurrence? Will you truly lose in the end? Come on, Krista, the world depends on you.”

Her taunting taps into all the insecurities that have defined my life: the fears, the doubts, and the self-hatred. I  _ can’t  _ lose again. And if I can’t beat Lissaria, I’ll never beat Chara.

I suddenly feel a new sensation of pain in my Vow, something even deeper that feels like it’s spreading. It’s almost like… she’s about to fulfill it.

“You’ve died enough that I can say our agreement has become insignificant. Haven’t I been patient long enough?”

I suddenly feel her presence in the darkness above. I can’t see her, but I just  _ know  _ she’s about to lunge for me with her jaws wide open. I fling my hands up in a desperate attempt to stop her, knowing  _ exactly  _ what I want. Lissaria gasps and falls to the ground, right towards me. I sprint forward and feel her body crash onto the rough rock below.

I stop to catch my breath and open my eyes, suddenly realizing they were closed to begin with. A light catches my attention and I lift my cupped hands to see an upside-down black SOUL rimmed with purple…  _ purple _ .

My throat tightens to the point that I can barely breathe as I turn to see the dragon towering over me, a pleased smirk on her face in the very dim light of her own SOUL.

“ _ Finally _ , I was a little worried you wouldn’t be able to do it,” she says.

“You…  _ wanted  _ me to do that?” I ask, so stunned I struggle to find the right words.

“I wanted to see if you were capable of doing it, especially after Sans’ insistence that you should control Chara’s SOUL. Still… I doubt even  _ if  _ you had full control over her and destroyed the Barrier that she wouldn’t come back. Flowey is the safer option, but perhaps  _ you  _ could… steal Chara’s power over time.”

“I could do that?”

Lissaria smirks, “Try something similar here: take my ability to see the deepest regrets of others.”

“I… I can’t do that.”

“You can and then you will give it back; it’s a far simpler task than you think. Well, that’s also because I will allow it so you’ll understand what to do.”

I look down at her SOUL, stunned that I was even able to  _ take  _ it. Did Lissaria allow that, too?

“No, I simply… provoked the emotions that could lead to the strength you would need to do that. I may also have given you the idea to do it so it would be your first choice of defense. Unlike your brothers, I am not afraid of forcing you into situations that will help you improve.”

I squint in annoyance at her slight insult and focus on her SOUL, realizing what I should probably do first to get the hang of this.

I look up at those ancient gold eyes and say the last thing I should probably ever say to her. “Sit.”

Lissaria smirks and sits as obediently as Cody. My magic stirs with distrust and I tighten my grip on her SOUL, causing the slightest wince to pinch at the corners of her eyes. I don’t know how genuine it is, but I don’t feel any guilt as I say, “Lie down.”

I feel the strain in her SOUL, the refusal to obey and I realize what she’s doing.  _ This  _ is the kind of sparring she was agreeing to, training for something far more difficult than mere dodging and swordplay.

“ _ Lie down _ ,” I say with more command in my tone as I force my magic against the resistance in her SOUL.

The dragon slowly agrees and she stretches her scarred legs out in front of her to rest her head on them. The obedience almost makes me sick as it is nothing like Cody. That is done out of free will,  _ this  _ on the other hand…

“Don’t think about the details, if you do, you’ll never have full control,” Lissaria warns, lifting her head and lunging for me to prove her point.

I tighten my grip and force her back, getting the faintest hiss of pain from her as she ducks her head back down. The dragon smiles despite the pain, “Now you’re getting it.”

I glare at her for a second before turning my attention back to her SOUL, sending my magic over it to discover the traits that make Lissaria who she is. It’s so bizarre: a black SOUL rimmed with purple. The purple is not Perseverance and the black isn’t hatred or death like I would think. Instead, I decipher the purple as her ability to easily find regrets and the black as everything that makes her a Magic Whisperer.

“Chara’s power over time will be much more difficult to discover, but I believe you can do it,” Lissaria smirks, watching me with keen eyes.

“H- how can you have the color of a human SOUL?” I ask, still dumbfounded by the strong similarity between us.

A sudden solemnness hardens her gaze. “Unlike you, Whisperer eye colors are not defined by our SOULs. We do not have traits, just unique strengths that echo the power of human SOUL colors. There was a time… when there were Seven of us; we were meant to be the balance between humans and monsters. After all, we are a combination of both: immensely powerful with physical bodies, but helpless when the world turns against us. My ability to find regrets is meant to resemble your insistence to move on no matter what. There was a time when I forced that power on my brother out of regret, but I have taken it back ever since…” she chuckles, “well, you find it.”

“So if Jex is the strongest Whisperer, does that mean he has red around his SOUL?”

“And Cyfalian has cyan, now shut up and search for answers. I want to see how deep you’ll cut into my regrets.”

“You’re willing to let me see something like that?”

Lissaria shrugs, “I know you better than you know yourself; if there’s anyone I would be comfortable with knowing my failures, it would be you. We’re purple SOULs after all, we have to stick together.”

Her comment echoes Frisk’s-  _ Chara’s  _ about Determinations so much that I almost feel sick, and that’s exactly why she said it.

“Maybe you know me  _ too  _ well,” I admit, feeling my spark of annoyance motivate me into searching her SOUL.

“If I could give you one last piece of advice: remember that you have control of the memory,” Lissaria insists as I grip the purple light and descend into ancient regrets.


	22. For The Best

My vision comes into focus on seven lizard-like creatures gathered near a waterfall glowing with cyan water. The surrounding forest is filled with massive trees weighed down by leaves so dense I have to inch around to the clearing by the river to see the stars. I quickly spot a constellation and my eyes widen. They’re  _ real  _ stars on the Surface, not the Underground’s ceiling. It makes me realize just how long ago this was, before even the war between monsters and humans.

I find myself standing closest to Lissaria, the same towering dragon she’s always been, but most of her scars are missing. She looks somewhat younger, more trusting and less experienced. Her eyes dart between Jex and the largest dragon in the group that sits across from her. The dragon has pitch-black scales and silver eyes with curled horns just slightly tinged white at the tips.

I’m not sure if I should be surprised by the Whisperer I’ve never seen before or Jex himself. He seems to be much larger than I remember him, but maybe that’s because he has  _ both  _ of his wings. Only a handful of scars are slashed across his legs and wings, but still, they’re both entirely intact.

“I don’t trust this at all,” Yriett finally says, breaking the eerie silence that hangs over the gathered creatures. Whatever was said before I arrived certainly put them all in a tense, slightly worried mood.

“Thanks for stating the obvious, Yri,” the black dragon says in a deep, demeaning voice. His tone is so sharp, I feel the anger in it bite into my SOUL.

“ _ Stop it _ ,” Jex hisses a flash of blacklight fire and spreads his wings, commanding a greater presence over the group. “Would you like more bickering to further divide us, Rintarius?”

“Maybe divided we’d actually get something  _ done _ ,” the dragon hisses back. “Do you really think trying to negotiate with  _ humans and monsters _ will work? They’ve wanted to get rid of us ever since they understood their magic. Why should we ever lower ourselves to their level? We have a right to rule their world, and I’ll die before I allow something as lowly as a human or Fate forbid, something as pathetic as a monster control  _ me _ .”

“We are meant to be a balance,  _ Rinty _ ,” a new voice objects and I peek around Lissaria’s wing to see a different kind of dragon on the other side of the circle. Instead of four legs, she only has two back ones with claws sticking out of her wings to support her upper body. Is she technically a dragon? Her scales are dark purple and she stares the black dragon down without a hint of fear in her cyan eyes.

Rintarius scoffs, “That’s easy for a  _ wyvern  _ to say. That’s easy for any of you to say except you two.”

He glares at Jex and Lissaria as if they’re insane for disagreeing with him.

“Just because you’re the third strongest doesn’t mean you’re better than the rest of us,” Wenzandrik growls. “We all need each other.”

“Says the runt who tries so desperately to do everything his own way,” the black dragon smirks, allowing orange flames to escape his mouth that make Wenzandrik sneer.

“Enough,” Jex snaps. “We’ve massacred humans and monsters in the past, and we were  _ severely  _ punished by Fate, weren’t we?” He gives Rintarius a pointed look and the black dragon slightly bows his head in submission. “Now we have the chance to take a different approach, and as frustrating as it has been, isn’t it better than barren lands and sunless skies?”

“I still fail to see why we can’t just  _ make  _ them agree to stay on their side of the land,” the black dragon mutters.

Lissaria suddenly lunges forward and buries her teeth into his throat, flipping his massive body over and slamming him into the center of their gathered circle.

“You’re more delusional than the rest of us combined,” Jex says as his twin rips out a chunk of Rintarius’ throat, spraying crimson blood onto the grass.

“Perhaps not!” a new voice yells from the forest. The gathered Whisperers turn to see a wall of red magic appear and instantly vanish, revealing a massive army of humans and monsters alike.

“How did we not sense them?” Cyfalian whispers, looking to Jex.

The blue dragon glares at the gathered army, as if… he  _ did  _ know this would happen.

Lissaria tenses, but I see the same measured calm on her face that her brother has. They knew this would happen, so why did she so severely injure her fellow Whisperer?

“Did you really think an agreement would be possible?” the voice from the forest continues, and I spot the man leading the army on a black horse with glowing red eyes.

Six other figures ride alongside him: two Determinations, a Perseverant, a goat-like monster, a giant spider, and something else with four arms, but it’s completely hidden by its armor.

“Not all of us are as bad as Rintarius,” Yriett argues as the black dragon coughs up blood, his injury quickly healing.

“Great, blame it on me,” he hisses.

“We will,” Jex says, suddenly flapping his wings with so much force the black dragon is thrown into the woods, right at the feet of the leading Determination human.

The man jumps off his horse and pins the Whisperer with his magic, his eyes glowing a deep red as he steps around the creature.

“You have your weapon; the deal is now fulfilled,  _ Prince  _ Quellirro,” Jex snarls to the human as he approaches.

“Actually, it’s King Quellirro, now; I was instated two days ago in the presences of the rulers of the Fourteen Kingdoms. Your surrender came just in time to preserve my name as the greatest human ruler to live.”

Jex smirks, “Enjoy it while it lasts.”

“And what is  _ that  _ supposed to mean?”

“Let’s just say I can see what this world will be like in a millennia, and no one is going to remember you but us Magic Whisperers.”

The king draws his sword, “Oh really? Well who’s to say you’ll even be around by then?”

A wave of red magic suddenly circles the group, transforming into ropes that pin the Whisperers to the ground. For a brief second, Jex’s eyes widen with fear before he forces himself into an expression of unaffected calm.

He looks to Lissaria and they exchange an unspoken message as the other leaders, except one Determination, advance. The goat, who looks nothing like the Dreemurrs I know, throws fire at Cyfalian. The armored monster sends roots up from underground to choke Wenzandrik. The spider weaves a web as firm as steel around Yriett in seconds. The other Determination dances his own magic over the purple dragon’s wings, and the Perseverant sends hundreds of daggers into Lissaria.

All the Whisperers cry out in agony, except the two siblings who calmly watch the scene around them as if it’s going to plan.

“What does the great Jexlauorous have to say now,  _ King  _ of the Magic Whisperers?” Quellirro announces, infusing his sword with magic as he walks to Jex’s left side.

“All of you will succumb to your selfishness,” Jex hisses, a slight laugh in his voice. “And your heirs will suffer as a result. Without us, the balance will be destroyed. It will take more than a millennia for peace to be found again, if it’s even possible for that to happen. Fate wills our reign to be over, but it will punish your kinds for tearing us apart. Us Whisperers have paid our dues to Fate; now it will hit both monsters and humans in the near future.”

The Determination king scoffs, “So you’ve already seen all of this? That means you’re allowing this to happen for a reason. I guess it means you already knew I was going to do  _ this _ .”

He turns his attention to the purple wyvern and tears her SOUL out in one smooth motion, revealing a black heart with a rim of light green around it. Quellirro engulfs it with red magic and the other Determination reaches out to help. Within seconds, the wyvern’s agonized screams are eliminated, and her SOUL becomes nothing but a few specks of dust that the king brushes off his glove.

“I assume you predicted that?” he smugly asks Jex.

“Is it true!?” Wenzandrik yells, wild fury blinding his eyes as he attempts to thrash out of the magic ropes. “Did you know this would happen!?”

Jex slightly lifts his chin, “Yes.”

“How could you do this to us!?” Rintarius yells from the forest.

“All will happen as it should,” Lissaria calmly responds, guilt coating her tone.

“You demons! You know what Xellienna meant to me! Was she nothing to you?” the youngest Whisperer continues.

“Now Wenzandrik, perhaps we could create some sense of justice in this?” Quellirro asks, slowly lifting his sword. “I think this is all quite dramatic, too. Maybe your leader should pay for denying what you are: nothing but violent, manipulative creatures that are incapable of  _ peace _ .” 

Then he slices Jex’s entire left wing off in one clean swipe, making the Whisperer shake the earth with his roar of pain. The Determination king tuts in disapproval, “Now Jexlauorous, I thought that Whisperers had a tolerance for pain. Won’t this be healed in a few hours?” He smirks as Jex struggles to breathe, “My mistake, I forgot that you are still inferior to the might of  _ Determination humans _ . I suppose this will make the process go far smoother than we had hoped.”

He climbs on top of Jex’s back and stabs his sword into the stub where the wing once was, leaving the physical weapon in and lifting a sword of red magic. The army cheers as they near, using their own magic to overwhelm the Whisperers and keep them pinned to the ground. Wenzandrik and Cyfalian attempt to fight, but Yriett watches Jex, horror and simultaneous understanding darkening her eyes.

“I will follow you to the end,” she says, just barely audible over the chaos around her.

“Even when every star is dead,” Lissaria whispers and I know for certain that no one heard her.

***

I’m thrown out of the memory and back into Lissaria’s dark cavern, blinking away the images and feeling a slight ringing in my ears.

“I told you that you had control of the memory, so why didn’t you explore?” Lissaria hisses and I catch her eyes staring me down in the faint light.

“How come I didn’t see it through your eyes?” I ask instead of answering.

“My magic takes the observer through what could essentially be a magic ‘reenactment’ of the events that occurred. I saw everything in first person as it happened, but you were treated with a broader experience to truly understand what I regret. Have you figured it out?”

“You allowed two of your Whisperers to be killed?”

She lifts her chin in offense, “Think a little more.”

I take a deep breath, forgetting that I technically have control over her. I shouldn’t feel threatened, but her gaze is enough to do it. “Only you and Jex knew what was going to happen. You knew the humans and monsters would never comply with a peace agreement, so you allowed them to find you. You both saw the consequences of allowing that, but if you had fought it, something worse would have happened?”

“Better,” she hisses, looking away from me, as if she had underestimated the effect of living through that memory again and she’s trying to hide the vulnerability she feels from it. “If we hadn’t allowed the two races to win, Rintarius would have pursued the leaders and died anyway. Then us Whisperers would have broken up in disagreement on what to do in the aftermath. Wenzandrik and Xellienna would have gotten themselves killed in fighting for revenge. Eventually, Quellirro and his elite team of Royal Guardsmen would have killed all of us. Despite what we are capable of… Whisperers are no match against three Determination humans. And even if there was a possibility, Fate would have punished us once again for carelessly destroying the balance. 

“So Jex has emphasized neutrality ever since in fear of angering Fate. He was willing to lose his wing and his family to ensure at least some of us survived. And now… you have no idea how much he was hoping you’d get him that island. All we want are a few years of peace as a reward for yielding to Fate before we travel to the Otherworld. But I’m not so hopeful for the island anymore. I would much rather see you succeed than anything else.”

“Why?”

Lissaria turns back to me and smirks, “Because I’m tired of watching Determinations win. There shouldn’t be a superior SOUL simply because they were born with it. I believe you deserve to be the most powerful because of  _ who  _ you are.”

“That doesn’t sound very neutral.”

“No, it isn’t, but Fate be damned, I want you to win.”

“What exactly is Fate to you?” I ask, finally realizing how much the Whisperers value the concept.

“A human would probably call it ‘God,’ only we don’t see it as an entity like us that we try to make sense of. Fate is the fundamental, intangible force that defines how the world is meant to be. When the earth fell into ruin after we killed nearly all the humans and monsters, it was a sign by Fate that we cannot be the only creatures to live here. It demands a balance in the world, which ensures that there is no one superior being. We will almost certainly not like what Fate does to us in our lives, but it  _ always  _ ensures that we will receive something good at one point, however small that happiness will be. It determines where the lines lie in how all beings live, and all these years it has declared that Determinations deserve the top. But I am certain it will change with you, that is why none of us can see beyond your conflict with Chara, Fate’s rules are going to change.” 

I guess that makes sense, but where does their concept of the “Otherworld” factor in? Lissaria eyes me, knowing it’s a question I want to ask, but I banish it from my mind. We could talk about this all night, and I’m beginning to feel guilt for how I left things with my brothers.

“Now can I have my SOUL and ability back?” the dragon asks.

I look down at her SOUL in my hands and jump when I see it’s just a black heart. Where’s the purple?

“You have to give the ability back to me,” she says, almost in annoyance.

“I don’t even know how I took it in the first place.”

“Well you better remember if you want any chance of taking Chara’s ability over time.”

I sigh and stare at her SOUL, feeling all the fundamentals of a Magic Whisperer while enforcing the need for her to possess a gift that defines  _ Lissaria _ . I suddenly recognize the gift surrounding my own SOUL, and I try to push it into the Whisperer’s, unsure if I’m technically doing this right. 

Purple begins to bloom around the rim of her black heart, spreading until it looks exactly how it did in the first place. I lift the SOUL higher and send it towards her, letting go of my grip once her own magic takes hold of it.

“Look at that, you’re a fast learner,” the dragon chirps and I frown even though the compliment is a little rewarding. I need to get back.

I head for her staircase as Lissaria says, “You know why I wanted you to see that regret specifically?”

I stop when I reach the glow of the blacklight stars. “Because it was the last time all Seven Whisperers were together?”

She smirks, “It’s to show you that even the strongest SOULs can fail, meaning in turn that arguably weaker ones can rise above them. This goes for both the Whisperers and Determinations. Quellirro was obviously not remembered even though that was what he wanted more than anything. And us Whisperers… we were meant for a life as prisoners eventually, especially after how carelessly we abused our powers. Don’t pin so many of your doubts on the fact that Chara’s a Determination human, you’ll certainly surprise yourself when you simply trust that you can win.”

I nod and head for the staircase, only slightly convinced by her words.

“And Krista,” she adds when I put a foot on the first step, “I’m still waiting for a fulfillment of the Death Vow.”

Her eyes glitter with amusement, revealing the Lissaria I’m used to. “How about when it will inconvenience Chara the most,” I respond, unsure of what circumstances would require that.

She smirks as if she knows the exact situation, “Deal.”

***

I make it back to the house about a half hour later, walking the whole way through Waterfall to process my thoughts. I’m not sure what to say to make it up to my brothers after I lashed out at them so horribly. I could use the excuse of what happened in the last timeline, but that’s cowardly and pathetic. I just need to own up to it, explain why I feel I should be the one to face Chara… and why I’m paranoid that they’ll try to help. As much as I want to do it alone, my brothers would never allow that. It means I have to trust them and give away some of my control to allow them to help. Isn’t that what I desperately need?

I enter the dark house and kick my boots to the side, about to shrug off my coat when I spot Sans sitting on the steps. The only light is from the faint Ceiling Stars outside, and I cautiously approach him, stopping in the center of the room.

He stares at me with an unreadable expression, probably searching for wounds or any signs of trauma when he stands up and takes a few steps forward.

“Do you feel better now?” he asks in a dull tone, a hint of frustration simmering underneath it.

Maybe it’s my guilt, but seeing him standing here,  _ alive _ , I can’t fight him. Instead, I cautiously wrap my arms around him, realizing how desperate I am for some sort of comfort. It’s selfish, especially since he deserves an explanation for my outburst, but I can’t help myself as I think of what happened with the Whisperers. They didn’t have any parting words with each other. Jex and Lissaria knew what would happen, and they didn’t warn their closest friends. I don’t want that. I want nothing but honesty and trust with my family, not guilt or regret over stupid mistakes I’ve made that have hurt them. Above all, I want them to understand how much I love them, and that in the end, everything I’ve done is because of how much I desperately need them.

Sans wordlessly hugs me back, not needing an explanation since he knows me so well. I’d like to think he needs the hug as much as I do, but that’s probably a lie. I’m the child in need of protection, and he’s the older sibling who will provide it.

I don’t know how long it is until I finally pull away, feeling the need to apologize when he says, “I understand why you feel that way, but you need to let us shoulder the burden, too.”

I nod, “I’m sorry for yelling like that.”

“We understand, but I’ll admit that I wanted to grab you and pull you back in the house to resolve the issue. Paps stopped me because he felt you really did need to be alone. Did it help you sort out how you feel?”

I shrug, “Kind of.”

“What trouble did you get into this time?” Sans asks, already certain that I didn’t just hide in a dark cave for a couple hours.

“Well,” I sigh, “it’s a long story.”

“Good thing I just bought some clementines to munch on in the meantime,” he says, heading into the kitchen.

I roll my eyes in amusement and take a seat on the couch, wondering where to begin when I feel a sharp pain in my arm. I instinctively grasp my right shoulder before I realize the pain is centered on the Vow. It normally hurts from time to time, but this is much more extreme than what I’m used to feeling on a daily basis.

I pull my sleeve back and my throat dries at the sight of the wound. It looks worse than it ever has. The veins are almost connected and the central cut is wider than it should be. Is it like some sort of poison spreading? Or is Lissaria just trying to get me to enact it so she can be done with our connection?

“You seriously went to Lissaria?” Sans asks, sitting next to me with a peeled clementine.

“You know me, the queen of stupid decisions,” I shrug, shoving my sleeve back down. If I had been paying attention, I would have noticed his approach.

“What did she do?”

I explain it all and surprise myself when I go over how her SOUL is rimmed with purple. I had noted the similarity between us, but voicing it makes it seem like Lissaria and I are two sides of the same coin. Of course, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

“So she thinks you can steal Chara’s power over time?” Sans asks once he knows it all.

“I  _ guess  _ it’s possible; I’d say I did something similar when I was able to update the Save point. Only, this will be far more difficult.”

“It seems like our best option considering all the others are incredibly risky.”

My hand drifts to my right shoulder as I try to think about how that would work. The best place to do it would be in the Barrier room, far from anyone else and ensuring that we could corner her SOUL. If we take her power over time, we’ll be able to get her SOUL and end the Barrier all at once.

I’m relying on a hundred assumptions, again. I don’t even know if I’m capable of taking something as immense as what has always been considered a power only Determinations can wield. Can all I do is hope for the best when the time comes?

“It puts my new magic to good use,” I distantly respond.

“But is it different entirely or is it more of an expansion of what it once was?” my brother patiently asks and I realize I must have spaced out in the time I wondered how our vague plan would work.

“A bit of both. It’s much more… chaotic than it once was, but at the same time, it still feels like me, like my own power.”

“Would you say that’s an improvement?”

I shrug, “I guess anything stronger would fall into that category.”

He lightly smirks and stands up to head into the kitchen, brushing the bits of clementine skin off his hands and into the sink.

“So you feel better?” Sans genuinely asks when he walks back into the main room.

I finally notice how tired he is by the shadows under his eyes, but of course, he couldn’t help but wait up to make sure  _ I’m  _ okay.

“ _ Yes _ ,” I insist a bit too forcefully, “now can you go to sleep? I feel bad enough about earlier and it bothered you so much that you couldn’t help but stay up. I’m fine; I need  _ you  _ to be fine, also.”

Sans shakes his head in amusement before heading up the stairs, “Fine, night.”

“Night,” I say back, shrugging my coat off and taking it up to the attic.

After a quick shower, I’m snuggled under my blanket with Cody by my feet, savoring the sound of his soft snores.

It doesn’t take long for me to fall asleep, but it feels like I never get any rest when a force wakes me up with a jolt. I lunge up and clutch my blanket like a lifeline, immediately realizing what just happened without searching for clues.

Chara’s  _ back _ . She finally Reset… and I suddenly understand just how unprepared I was for this. I didn’t think the timeline would last forever… but I was hoping for a couple more days of bliss. Of course, that was selfish of me; I’ve had more than enough recovery time. What did I expect? I should be surprised enough that she waited as long as she did. Now… I shudder as reality hits me: Chara walks the earth in a physical body, and everyone I care about is alive to be her victims all over again.

I lunge off the couch and stumble to my feet, feeling the scream build as I fumble for my boots. I need to get out of the house,  _ now _ .

Despite my panic, I exit as quietly as possible and sprint for the blizzard, the adrenaline rush still not enough to calm me.

The winds and chunks of snowflakes bite my skin as I trudge through the snow, easily blinded in the dim light. Before I know it, I reach the end the blizzard, and I turn to head back in the direction of Snowdin, knowing I’ll lose it if I go to Waterfall. The snow begins to feel denser as more chunks of flakes hit near my eyes. The impacts make me so disoriented that I lose my balance and fall face-first. When I hit the ground, the sensation makes me feel what it was like when Chara dragged me through Snowdin, and my terror finally overwhelms me.

I press my hands against my face and scream at the top of my lungs, easily drowned out by the howling winds. 

I am going to lose  _ again _ . I can’t escape her. Chara will always win until the person I am fades from existence. She will take away everyone and everything until I go insane with guilt and lose all that I am.

My body trembles from the bitter cold that easily cuts through my sweatshirt and down to my bones, but I can barely feel it. All I feel is that numbness, the pain of the losses, the isolation in the truth that everyone I love is dead. I can’t do it. I won’t survive that again.

I cup my hands over my shoulders as the tears fall, remembering  _ so  _ much of what she did to me. The memories only increase my panic until I’m hyperventilating, completely helpless to the terror that easily controls me. I can’t fight it. I can’t fight  _ her _ . I was faking my calm pretty well when she was dead, but she has never  _ really  _ been dead. As much as I want to lie to the world and myself that I’m fine, I am  _ nowhere  _ close to that fantasy.

The sensation of a SOUL behind me makes me pause and force myself out of my panic attack. I can barely breathe, but I will the strength to look back. The figure makes my heart nearly stop as I realize how much my right arm hurts.

Lissaria towers over me with a grim expression, analyzing my damaged, fragile little self with those unwavering eyes.

“H- how are you here?” I choke out, tucking my right arm as close as possible.

“It’s time, Krista,” she says, her tone more serious than it’s ever been.

A deep burn cuts into my Vow and I cry out, gritting my teeth against the pain to keep eye contact with her. “No! It’s my choice!”

The dragon shakes her head, “You’ll never fulfill it; it’s not in your nature. Even when you had the chance, you still hesitated. I’m doing this to help you sit this run out. You’re not ready to face Chara again in a state like this.”

“You didn’t seem to care earlier,” I snap, my tone not as strong as I wish it was.

“Really? Why do you think I was so insistent that you fulfill the Vow? If you weren’t such a Perseverant, you would have recognized that was me asking you to follow through with it.”

I can’t tell if that’s a joke or an insult, but I realize I’ve calmed down a bit since Lissaria arrived. She got my mind off my relentless fears.

“Trust me, this  _ will  _ inconvenience Chara the most,” the Whisperer insists.

“And what if I can’t believe you?” I ask. “What about my brothers?”

“They’ll be just fine. What part of, ‘Trust me,’ do you not understand?”

“Maybe the fact that you’re a Magic Whisperer?” I raise an eyebrow.

Something glimmers in her eyes, “Now that’s just hurtful, Krista; I’m trying to do you a favor here.”

“I wouldn’t call an execution a favor,” I snarl, my heart pounding as my Vow increases in pain, enough that I’m beginning to see spots.

“A break from Chara’s wrath is, though.”

I squint at the tone she uses, “What do you know?”

Lissaria’s expression reveals nothing as she says, “ _ Trust me _ , allow yourself to have some freedom from her just a little longer. Let someone else take care of her for once.”

“But what if-”

“I take full responsibility for any casualties that could have been avoided if you were here.”

Her vow means nothing to me and I form a spear of magic in response. “I won’t let you kill me.”

Lissaria sighs, “I had a feeling it would come to this. Just keep in mind that I  _ tried  _ to make you go humanely.”

I scream as the pain in my arm increases tenfold, and it feels like the veins are…  _ spreading _ . I look at my hand and see the red lines stretch across my palm, reaching all the way to my fingertips. They eat their ways up my arm and into my shoulder, searching for my heart.

“Please! I’m not ready!” I scream, fearing all that will happen without me. If Chara was dead, then I’d be more inclined to get this over with, but when she’s currently at her greatest level of power…

I look up and lunge back to see Lissaria’s even closer now, her eyes possessing a feral, bloodthirsty desire.

“I’m sorry, Krista, but the Vow can’t be stopped now,” she says distantly, eyeing my right arm.

I try to reach my magic, to simply  _ move _ , but I can’t as the pain freezes me in place, helpless to the power of the Death Vow. I feel its strange magic take over, forcing me to lift my right hand to the dragon, offering fulfillment. The Whisperer doesn’t hesitate, and she lunges forward to bite my arm clean off.

I scream as I see images of when Chara took my arm, forgetting where I am completely. I feel those veins continue to spread, burning down my left arm and pricking into my heart. But I don’t know who’s trying to kill me anymore. I only see those red eyes as I remind myself of how miserably I’ve failed.

A new pain pierces my torso as I feel my body being lifted up, and I open my eyes to see I’m in the jaws of a dragon. Panic isn’t a word strong enough to describe how I feel, but I’m helpless as she opens her jaws wider and crushes my skull.


	23. A Confrontation Of Her Own Design

Sans couldn’t move when he felt the Reset take effect, his frustration was so immense that he could only lie in bed, wondering what this new timeline would bring. But then he wondered how Krista was taking it, and he forced himself to get up.

Down in the main room, she was nowhere to be seen, and he didn’t sense her SOUL in the attic either. She must have taken a walk to sort out her feelings; Krista would be safe for now, wouldn’t she?

So Sans took a seat on the couch, thinking through his feelings on this new timeline. Would their plan work? Would Krista even be able to take Chara’s SOUL? As much as he didn’t want her anywhere near the Determination human, what other choice did they have? What could  _ he  _ do that would give them the same victory? 

Sans sighed as he wondered if it was all too much on Krista. She barely had any time to recover, and she was already planning on attempting the greatest challenge her magic would ever face. It was partially his fault, considering he led her into thinking about how to beat Chara. He didn’t intend for her to actually commit to the idea, but at the same time, he couldn’t think of any scenario in which Chara would be gone forever without Krista getting involved. He had originally led her into the conversation just to see what her thoughts were, but then he got caught up in theorizing on how they could actually win. And when they found a potential solution… he realized there was no turning back.

Cody suddenly whimpered from the other side of the room, pulling Sans out of his thoughts and he walked over to pet the puppy.

“I don’t suppose you know where she went?” Sans asked.

Cody shook his head, “I didn’t even hear her leave.”

Sans supposed that meant she left calmly rather than in a panic, but… he looked back at the couch. The blanket wasn’t folded neatly like she always made it when she got up, which meant she was at least frantic. Her coat wasn’t in the room, but she often kept it in the attic at night.

Sans shortcutted up to the attic and immediately found her coat lying on top of the dryer. She wouldn’t have been so panicked that she walked through Snowdin without it, would she? Maybe a bad dream made her accidentally scratch her Death Vow again, and she went to throw the sweatshirt away in Waterfall.

He was at the dump in Waterfall in a second, but there was no sight of her. Had she not made it yet? He walked a few rooms back, but Krista wasn’t anywhere. 

Sans then headed into the blizzard, wondering if she was trying to hide a panic attack from them. The location was his last resort before he checked the Ruins doors. She wouldn’t have gone beyond Snowdin at a time like this… would she?

He searched for her SOUL through the bitter winds, finding nothing until he sensed  _ something  _ else. Sans froze as he saw the red dragon through the blurring snow, and she turned to face him, a grim expression on her face.

“What are you doing here?” Sans hissed, feeling fear build as he could only think of one reason.

“She couldn’t handle it; I provided an escape,” Lissaria said in a low voice as a drop of blood slid down her chin.

Sans slowly circled her, fearing he’d find Krista’s mutilated body behind the dragon. But there was nothing but a massive bloodstain on a patch of packed snow the winds couldn’t blow away.

“ _ Where is Krista _ ?” Sans said in a low voice.

Lissaria sighed, clearly understanding that he had an idea of what happened, but he wanted her to say it. “Once the Vow’s magic is ‘activated,’ I can’t stop it. I didn’t want to e-... but she left me no choice.”

“ **What did you do to her** !?” he yelled over the howling winds.

Lissaria lifted her bloody chin, and another drop of  _ Krista’s  _ blood fell to the frozen earth. “I gave her the mercy to remain safe from Chara for a little while longer. She was having a panic attack at the mere thought that her tormentor is alive once more. So I enacted the Death Vow, and the magic of it forced me to eat her. It’s the most efficient method to ensure her death. Besides, aren’t you glad you don’t have to see her corpse?”

Sans fired a blaster straight at the dragon’s face out of pure rage, not caring about what she could do in retaliation. Lissaria hissed in pain, but she didn’t fight back. “Ah, I guess I deserve that, but won’t it be nice not to worry about Krista for once? You can keep all your focus on protecting Papyrus,” she purred the slanted insult, her face gradually healing as she spoke. Sans’ hands clutched into fists, but before he could come up with a response, the dragon said, “Well that fulfills the little freedom I get; don’t die in this run, I’d hate to have to face your sister’s wrath.”

Sans glared at the Whisperer as she disappeared, presumably as a result of the Death Vow’s remaining wisps of magic vanishing. His gaze drifted down to that bloody patch of earth once he was alone, picturing all the times he had failed his sister.

He supposed Lissaria had a point: Krista would be free from Chara for another timeline, but it didn’t change anything from her perspective. For Krista, she’ll be alive again in an instant only to face Chara all over again. But… Lissaria must have taken advantage of the Vow for a reason. Maybe it wasn’t just to give Krista a break. What if it was a window for Sans to do something that could help them in the next run? 

He shortcutted to the Ruins doors at the thought, staring at them with such intensity that he forgot he should have been formulating a plan.

“So you know my sister’s back,” Flowey suddenly said to his left, and even though Sans was surprised to hear the flower, he didn’t show it.

“You consider that demon to be your sister?” Sans asked in a seemingly disinterested voice, raising an eye socket down at the flower.

“I  _ know  _ Chara, and that’s definitely her, not a demon,” Flowey insisted.

“Maybe you’re just clinging to the ghost of who you  _ wish  _ she was.”

“No, it’s her… and together, we’re going to finish what we started.”

“And what exactly would that be?”

Flowey’s face twitched with uncertainty for a split second. “We’re going to free everyone,” he said with slight hesitation.

Sans couldn’t help but scoff, “‘Free?’ She must have  _ really  _ gotten into your head if you believe that’s true.”

“What makes you think  _ you  _ know Chara?” Flowey snapped.

“I clearly know her better than you ever will.”

Sans saw the vines reaching for him well before Flowey could get in an attack, and he sent a bone bullet to cut them cleanly where they stretched out from the ground. Flowey shrieked and dropped underground, popping up a few feet away in front of Sans.

“Is there a reason why you came here?” Sans asked in a dull tone, wondering whether Flowey was influenced by Chara’s wishes or if it was blind sibling love.

“She wanted to know who’d be waiting for her. While you’re not the person she wanted, you’re a close second,” Flowey sneered.

“But a close second is not good enough,” Chara suddenly announced, bursting open the Ruins doors.

Sans straightened his spine at the sight of her, willing himself to not feel any fear in facing the Determination human. Chara narrowed her eyes on him, and he couldn’t help but notice that they weren’t as dark as they once were. Sure, they were darker than Frisk’s, but not nearly as close to black as the last time he saw her.

“Is that frustration I sense?” Sans asked, forcing a smug grin onto his face. It was like tempting Death itself to come after him, but he couldn’t help himself. If there was any way he could get Chara to feel  _ slightly  _ insecure about reaching her goals, it would be worth it.

“Where is she?” Chara demanded.

Sans raised an eye socket, “What makes you think I’d tell you?”

A sly grin spread across Chara’s face as she suddenly disappeared and reappeared in what felt like three seconds. And when she returned… she held the SOUL of a barely-conscious Papyrus in her hand.

Sans froze as his brother looked around in confusion, quickly recognizing the loss of his SOUL and the seriousness of the situation. Papyrus first looked at Chara, then Flowey, then Sans, his expression becoming more and more concerned with each person. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes held all the questions Sans knew he wanted to ask. Thankfully, he understood that they wouldn’t do anyone a favor at a time like this.

“So what will it be, Comic Sans? Your  _ real  _ brother or your  _ fake  _ sister?” Chara taunted.

“I’m surprised you can’t find her yourself considering all the power you supposedly have now,” Sans said as if he were genuinely confused. If he didn’t show his panic, maybe she’d find the situation less amusing?

Intrigue glittered in Chara’s eyes and she threw Papyrus’ SOUL back to him, leaving him by the doors to approach Sans.

“I know you  _ think  _ you can distract me by naming expectations I can’t fulfill, but it’s not going to work. And sooner or later, you will give me what I want,” she hissed, waving a hand and they were in the main room of his house.

“Now, as much as you  _ think  _ you know Krista, you don’t. I’ve been in her head, in fact I practically  _ raised  _ her, and there is a  _ baffling  _ amount of memories that she has refused to tell you about. In summary, they prove all the more what a worthless creature she is, but why should I try to convince you with words when I can merely show you?”

Sans lunged back and formed a wall of bullets between them, creating blasters that surrounded the human on the other side. But before he could even fire them, Chara suddenly stood behind him and caught his SOUL. “Ah, ah, ah,” she tsked, “the little bitch might have taken my powers from the Void, but I have not lost the ones I deem most valuable. Let me just show you what I had to put up with, perhaps then you’ll finally understand why your brother is by  _ far  _ more worthy of protection while Krista has and will continue to get what she deserves.”

***

It was like he was in the room with them, watching the two sisters toss a stuffed animal of a gray and white rabbit back and forth to each other. Mable was on the left, at the beginning of the hallway that led to their room, and Krista was on the right, her back almost touching the small table behind her on which a light green ceramic lamp sat.

Sans could immediately see the hazard, and he was amazed that Krista didn’t notice it, but then again, she looked  _ so  _ young, maybe eleven at the most.

With each toss, Mable threw the rabbit with more strength, getting caught up in the ever-increasing speed of the game. Krista occasionally warned her to slow down, but it was clear how happy she was just seeing Mable’s joy. Unfortunately, it led to the accident.

Mable threw the rabbit, and instead of hitting the lamp behind Krista, it hit the one closest to her on a small stand near the couch to Sans’ left. The lamp was thrown forward, and it hit the corner of the coffee table in the center of the room, shattering its ceramic body.

The girls gasped and Mable immediately burst into tears, apologizing as if it could fix the lamp.

“It’s okay,” Krista reassured her, but the fear in her eyes was clear as she inched around the couch. Pieces of the lamp were all over the table and scattered on the floor. The green ones were easy to spot, but the opposite side was face-up for many of them, blending into the white carpet.

“What are we gonna do?” Mable asked in a shaky voice. Sans couldn’t help but notice how different it was to Krista’s, or at least, the voice of the Krista he knew. It lacked any sense of confidence, however, it was far more hopeful and optimistic than Krista’s had ever been.

“We’ll just clean it up and I’ll tell him it was my fault,” Krista said, beginning to pick up the largest pieces.

“No, it was my fault; I should take the punishment,” Mable argued.

“This is not something I’m going to fight with you about.  _ I  _ take the blame, and you stay in our room,” Krista insisted.

Mable began shaking as Krista didn’t look at her, as if the younger sibling wasn’t even allowed a choice. “Why do you do this?” Mable asked, her voice rising. “Why do you let things like this happen and then take the blame?”

Krista shrugged as she grabbed a small trashcan from the corner of the room and dumped the pieces she’d gathered into it. “I led us out of our room, and I knew the risks. It was my stupidity that caused the accident.”

“But I broke the lamp, I-”

Krista suddenly stood up, “I am the older sibling, which means it’s my responsibility to protect you! And if something like this means you were at least able to be happy for a few minutes, then it was worth it. You shouldn’t have to pay for that.”

“But you should?” Mable asked in a soft voice, noticing how much her sister was shaking. Sans thought it was from the emotions, but then he realized it was from her back. Just in the short time since she crouched to collect the pieces, Krista’s back was already burning with pain, and it showed how the wounds were still arguably recent. Mable walked over and lightly rubbed Krista’s right shoulder blade.

Krista sighed, either in frustration or pain, Sans couldn’t tell as Mable said, “Let me clean it up, and then I’ll admit my mistake to him.”

“I’m not going to let you,” Krista whispered.

“I think your back will at least force you to let me clean up the lamp,” Mable raised an eyebrow, getting the faintest smile from her big sister.

But then Sans heard the door open behind him and he shortcutted to the opposite end of the room without thinking. Wait, was that even  _ his  _ idea?

A man with gray eyes and a bald head walked into the room, immediately glaring at the girls who seemed so small in comparison to his ominous presence. Mable seemed to shrink in fear, and Krista lifted her chin, nudging her sister back.

“I see you’ve been careless again,” the man said in a cold, unforgiving voice.

Krista was about to speak when Mable said, “It was my fault!”

She stepped out of her sister’s shadow and faced her father, visibly shaking with fear. “I’m sorry,” Mable said in a much quieter voice.

The man looked to Krista, “You’re actually  _ allowing  _ her to take the blame for once?”

Krista stepped in front of Mable once more. “You know it’s my fault, it always is.”

“No, Father-” Mable was about to say when he suddenly reached forward and dug his fingers into Krista’s shoulder, making her scream as he shoved her to his right. Then he slapped Mable right across the face with enough force that she fell to the floor.

“Why do I even bother to keep you two alive when you cause so many problems?” he hissed, making the girls cower. Sans wanted to shortcut right across the room and tear the man to shreds, but he couldn’t move as it felt like talons were digging into his back, forcing him to stay put and watch.

The man grabbed Krista by the throat and threw her right where numerous ceramic shards still coated the floor. She landed on her forearms, causing blood to immediately burst from the impact as the pieces cut into her skin.

“Clean it up,” he ordered her before looking to Mable. “You and I are going to have a little chat.”

He grabbed a fistful of her hair and began to drag her towards the girls’ bedroom, but Krista wouldn’t allow it. She lunged up, pain contorting her face as she ran the short distance forward and dug her nails into her father’s arm.

“Please! Don’t punish her,” she begged as he let go of Mable and punched Krista right in the eye. She hit the ground and screamed from the impact, rolling over in seconds to reveal blood staining her light blue shirt. Her wounds had torn, and she still pushed herself up to glare into his eyes. “It’s  _ my  _ fault,” she insisted, tears pouring down her face and her injured eye struggling to remain open.

Her father smirked, “Fine then, let’s blame you once again, Krista. What do you think is a fitting punishment?”

“Anything as long as it doesn’t involve Mable,” she insisted.

“No! Stop it, Krista!” the younger sister pleaded.

The man’s smile widened, “Fine then, I’ll make it simple since you’re so desperate, my dear.”

He walked forward and grabbed one of the larger shards out of the trashcan, one with a  _ very  _ pronounced point. He grabbed Krista’s chin and angled it near her uninjured eye, searching for her flinch that she refused to allow.

“Is Mable worth losing an eye over?” he asked.

Krista trembled, but she kept as still as possible as she admitted, “Yes.”

“What about a finger?” he asked, dropping her chin and placing the shard against her index finger.

She didn’t even hesitate, “Always.”

“And finally, what about your life?” their tormentor asked, placing the shard against Krista’s heart.

She stared at him with all the sincerity in the world. “That shouldn’t even be a question,  _ Father _ .”

He smiled, “Just what I wanted to hear.”

Then he dug the shard into her back, easily tearing through her shirt as he dragged it a few inches down. Both of the girls screamed and the man tossed the shard back in the trash. “This room better be spotless by the time I get back, or I’ll do more than leave a little scar.”

He slammed the door shut and Mable sprinted over to Krista, pressing the extra fabric of her torn shirt against the fresh wound. “Krista-”

“Shh,” she hushed, her head bowed and her entire body shaking. “You can’t convince me that you could have prevented this. We’re fine and that’s what matters.”

Tears poured down Mable’s face as she seemingly couldn’t help inching around to hug her older sister, expertly avoiding her wounds. “You’re not fine,” she whispered, sobbing into Krista’s sleeve.

“As long as I have you, I’m always fine,” Krista whispered back.

Chara’s laugh echoed in the distance at the irony, so incredibly satisfied with re-visiting a time when Krista was helpless. But Sans couldn’t help but wonder what point she was trying to prove. To him, all it showed was Krista’s unfailing perseverance to protect her sister. Maybe in Chara’s eyes, it was the ultimate testament to her “worthlessness,” a child that  _ asked  _ for pain because she knew she deserved it. She understood the chances of an accident, and she went through with the actions that caused it anyway.  _ Of course _ Chara would only see the punishment as deserved.

The scene faded and Sans was taken to a dark lab with teal-green walls; the sight made him instinctively recoil, but there was nowhere to go as his back hit the wall of their cell.

“Now let’s see why your brother deserves mercy instead,” Chara purred in the distance.

Sans didn’t want to watch, but he had to as Gaster snapped Papyrus’ arm in half. He watched the scientist hold his brother with blue magic and throw him into the walls, shattering bones and filling the room with the sickening sounds. He heard his brother’s screams in the distance as the metal plate was drilled into his hand. He heard his brother’s sobs as he became entirely convinced that he was too stupid to understand their limited world.

It was anything and everything that linked to Sans’ guilt over his brother, the exact reasons why he favored protecting Papyrus over Krista. Sans had  _ directly  _ seen the pain and torment he went through, it was all he grew up knowing, while with Krista… Chara had finally given him a window into what her life was like as a child. They were both horrific, both undeserving, and Sans  _ had to _ find a way to protect them both.

“So… your brother was tortured in  _ so  _ many ways when he never did anything to deserve it. Krista on the other hand… she was  _ asking  _ to be punished. I think it’s pretty clear who needs to be protected more.”

Sans’ vision cleared back to his house, seeing Chara only a few feet away with his SOUL in her grasp. He gritted his teeth, “If you can do all that, then it should be easy for you to figure out where Krista is.”

The human tilted her head, “I know this is all very confusing, and I’ll give you credit for fighting back so much. But unfortunately, I still can’t  _ quite  _ get into your head. If you noticed, none of those were  _ your  _ memories. They were mere observations I had from the Void. So I’ll ask one more time: where is Krista?”

“She’s  _ dead _ ,” Sans snapped, fed up with Chara. It didn’t matter if she knew the truth; he wouldn’t be protecting Krista either way.

Chara raised an eyebrow, “Interesting that you would take that direction, I guess I’ll just have to subject you to what she experienced. However, this will definitely be trickier; your body is so fragile, I’m afraid the lightest attack will kill you.”

Sans refrained from sending a bullet at her,  _ very  _ aware of his SOUL in her hand. “Unlike my sister, I don’t persevere very well; I’d much rather give up once the situation begins to inconvenience me,” he sneered.

“That may be true,” Chara hummed, “but that doesn’t change the fact that I still want something from you.”

She twisted her grip on his SOUL, sending a shockwave through his body that made him fall to his knees. God, it hurt  _ so  _ much. Maybe this would be Chara’s substitution for the torture she put Krista through. She would be able to keep Sans alive for as long as she wanted while forcing him to experience the greatest amounts of pain.

She dug her talons of Determination into his SOUL, getting a scream out of him as much as he fought it. Spots filled his vision as he tried to simply  _ breathe _ . 

“Is she really worth it?” Chara asked in the distance, and Sans could suddenly feel it: every ounce of anger and frustration he held against Krista. All the days she had gone off on her own, the times when she survived and Papyrus didn’t… and the  _ very  _ faint jealousy that there was a time when she didn’t know pain.

He hated it. He hated feeling those emotions; he tried to tell himself that they weren’t real… but they were. Chara had found them all: every little negative emotion he associated with the human he had somehow believed was his sister. But in reality, she wasn’t.

He didn’t owe Krista anything, and if she didn’t care about herself… then why should he? Why did he have to be her support when she didn’t possess any self-respect? Hadn’t she  _ asked  _ for the pain? Didn’t she deserve all of it considering she never fought for herself? Her scars, losing her family, dying over and over, and that month of torture… weren’t they all she was worth? Why did  _ she  _ have the power of a purple SOUL? It belonged to someone better, someone like…

Sans’ eyes snapped up to Chara and saw a fog of red magic surrounding his SOUL.  _ No _ , those weren’t his thoughts. He had never believed any of that about his sister, but he immediately understood why she believed it so thoroughly.

“You could  _ never  _ make me hate her,” he hissed at the Determination human, feeling her magic recoil a bit at his defiance.

Chara sneered, “Fine then,  _ monster _ .”

She sent her magic at him tenfold, digging as hard as she could into his fractured SOUL. The pain made Sans see all of his failures, ones that attacked how much he cared for Krista rather than the reasons to hate her. He saw himself smirking as she nearly tripped on the bridge. He saw her face after he told her she let her father kill Mable. He watched himself turn his back on her before she was left alone to be tortured. He heard her screams, he saw her blood, and he felt her tears soak his shoulder. Sans could never truly help her. As much as he tried, Krista only ever became more and more damaged with no hope of ever truly recovering. 

“Is she worth loving now?” Chara taunted, increasing the pain in his SOUL.

The sensation made Sans want to fall into his unlimited thoughts of self-doubt, to recount  _ every  _ failure he ever had in helping his family. He could feel that pull of believing he deserved the pain… but something stopped him.

If Sans believed he deserved this for who he was, then Krista deserved what she went through for who  _ she  _ was, and none of that was true. He suddenly realized that the pain was Chara’s trap: it led into taking advantage of their insecurities before dragging them down into their own pits of self-hatred. Krista lost herself in that, and it was how Chara had succeeded so triumphantly. However… she didn’t win in  _ every  _ way, and that was why Krista wasn’t lost forever.

Sans couldn’t allow the pain to continue; he  _ had to _ find a way out, but what could he do? He looked up at Chara who smirked down at him in such a demeaning manner he knew she believed he was a meaningless creature. She may have been a Determination human, but she had to have weaknesses, everyone did.

“Do you want to talk  _ now _ ?” she asked, easing her grip just the slightest.

“You never considered the fact that I’m telling the truth,” Sans snapped, hoping she’d take his tone as meaning he wasn’t thinking clearly.

Chara smirked, “My pet would never willingly kill herself.”

“What makes you think she died by choice?” he raised an eye socket.

Chara narrowed her gaze and threw his SOUL back to him, crossing her arms as he recovered from the sensation of a SOULless body.

“You think you’re quite clever, don’t you?” Chara asked.

Sans couldn’t help his chuckle as he searched through the cloud of strength that surrounded her, looking for her stolen SOUL. “And you think you’re powerful enough to take the world?”

A sly, demonic smirk spread across the human’s face. “How sad that not a single member of the monster race will live to see it. It’ll be especially sad that you won’t get to see the culmination of  _ your  _ failures. The ‘sister’ that you care for so much will become the greatest gray SOUL to ever walk the earth. She will be a slave to my wishes, murdering anyone I deem unworthy of this life. She will forget you and everything she ever was. Do you still find the idea funny?”

Sans shook his head as he finally found it: the dark red SOUL surrounded by a haze of… something. Was it her ability over time? It felt… separate from the core of her SOUL, as if it was a different being entirely. What the hell was it?

A force suddenly threw him across the room, and his head cracked against the brick of the fireplace. Sparks burst in his vision as he tried to push himself up, but the pain was so immense, he wasn’t sure if his body had the strength to remain conscious.

“Clever indeed, Subject One. Maybe I  _ will  _ keep you alive just long enough to see your failures come crashing down, and then I’ll force Krista to kill you.”

Sans wanted to retaliate, but he couldn’t even see Chara teleport away before the pain dragged him under.

***

Lissaria smiled when she sensed a new SOUL striding down her staircase. It was an  _ unwelcome  _ guest for once, how exciting.

“To what do I owe this great displeasure, Princess?” she purred, walking into the glow of her blacklight stars.

Chara glared at Lissaria as she took deliberate, calculated steps, eyeing the dragon as if she were imagining all the methods she’d use to kill her. “Will there ever come a day when you won’t hate me?” she asked, faking an innocence they knew she didn’t have.

“Probably not, you are a  _ disappointment _ , after all,” Lissaria slyly responded, letting the demeaning label make its impact.

Chara paused her descent, and Lissaria saw in her eyes that she had pieced together the reasons why the Death Vow was enacted now of all times. “My power exceeds your ability to read minds.”

“Does it?” Lissaria asked, forcing an image of Chara’s mother into her mind.

The human flinched and threw out a flash of power in her fury. Out of sheer deliberation, she hit part of Lissaria’s right wing and burned a hole in it the size of a dinner plate. The dragon winced and peered at her wing with forced calculation, knowing it was a reasonable price for her insult considering who she was facing. But she couldn’t help herself, she wanted to make the Determination  _ hurt _ .

“You’re not as strong as you think you are,” Lissaria hissed, forcing the pain out of her smile. Her wing was slowly repairing itself, but based on the power of the attack, she would always have a slight hole in that spot. “You relied on the Void far more than you thought, and without it, a physical body isn’t so appealing now, is it?”

Chara straightened her shoulders, “I won’t need the Void on the Surface anyway.”

Lissaria laughed at the blatantly artificial confidence, “You really didn’t plan this out, did you? You never thought that your ‘pet’ would become  _ stronger  _ if you tortured her. No, you had one mindset and limited consideration. Have years of tormenting Krista taught you nothing? All you’ve ever done is given her better reasons to persevere. Any other SOUL would have bowed like you wanted, but no, you had to pick the one Perseverant descendant of Xanvalus that would make your life  _ immeasurably  _ difficult.”

Lissaria’s final taunts echoed through her cavern, mocking Chara as if she was a child that couldn’t retaliate.

After a whole minute of silence, Chara finally said, “You’ve become awfully biased within the past few centuries. Where is that neutral Whisperer I spoke with when I was a Dreemurr, or have you always hated Determinations this much? Let me guess, even if Krista was a Patience SOUL, you would still root for her. You were pining for all the other SOULs, too, even the ones that were so helplessly guaranteed to die. But no, you still wanted them to have a chance. You wanted anything but  _ me _ .”

“You’ll have to forgive my centuries’ worth of experience dealing with your type,” Lissaria smirked. “Knowing your history tipped me off enough to believe you’d become like them, and of course, you have. But at least it makes this  _ so  _ much more entertaining.”

The Whisperer attacked Chara with her magic again, bringing up memories of the torture that she went through as a child. They were easily comparable to what Chara did to Krista growing up; the main difference was that she often fought back because she had no one to lose. The other noticeable difference was that Chara  _ never  _ saw her experiences as deserved. She blamed everyone else for what was done to her, which was reasonable considering her whole village called her an abomination: the  _ dangerous  _ red-eyed girl. 

Magic was still a common skill among humans at the time, and it was taught to them as young as three years old. Those with stronger traits were considered to be more valuable to society, protected and cherished for the great deeds they were assumed to fulfill in the future. However, Chara’s mother did not see her daughter as meaningful. She was a burden, a reminder of the man who pretended to love her only to leave and find wealth in a distant kingdom. But she couldn’t kill the child, not when the whole village knew about it; they would disgrace, maybe even kill her if she eliminated a life that could potentially help them.

Sillerha was always bitter in the years to follow, observing her child as if she were the greatest mistake of her life. The village had initially rejoiced when they learned she had brought a Determination into the world. They hadn’t seen one since the great Xanvalus ended the war between humans and monsters. They insisted the girl was to be trained by the elder Justices and Perseverants, beginning exactly on her third birthday to ensure she would quickly become powerful. 

But some were suspicious of Sillerha’s offspring. She was a lowly Patience SOUL and the father was a Justice. By any conceivable standards, it should have been impossible for them to create something as great as a  _ Determination _ . However, even though it was strange, it was still technically possible, especially since it was rumored that the father came from a powerful bloodline. Some argued that they take the child away from Sillerha’s care. After all, what would a Patience know about raising a Determination? The gossip made Sillerha resent Chara even more, and she became insistent that the girl had as limited contact as possible with the outside world. 

When the day came to begin her training, Sillerha grudgingly brought her child to the elders, knowing they would hunt her down if she didn’t. They taught Chara the simplest techniques: summoning her SOUL and creating tiny shields. Their care and patience towards the girl made something snap in Sillerha, no one had ever paid attention to her like that. No one ever smiled at her, listened to her, she was nothing to everyone around her but the daughter of a disgraced family. They blamed her for something that wasn’t her fault in any way. And this child…  _ her  _ child... Determination or not, deserved to be treated like that, too.

Without even thinking, Sillerha unleashed her magic on the unsuspecting elders, murdering every single one. But Chara… she made sure her child lived, and she ran out of the training building screaming, alerting the whole village that the  _ Determination  _ human murdered their leaders. It was the greatest excuse to isolate themselves, to give every villager a reason to hate the girl when they saw her on rare occasions. The hatred was a gift to Sillerha, to finally have everyone on her side, never minding how twisted the reasoning was.

And after three years, the child had been tormented enough. She ran to the mountain and found a kingdom that accepted her, but she never let her own festering hatred go. She heard the insults every night, woke from nightmares of the relentless persecution, and began to plot her retaliation. At first, it was only for the villagers who hated her with an especially gruesome death planned for her mother. But when she failed and found herself in the Void… that plan expanded into something broader. She knew they would all be dead before she could leave, so she planned a retaliation for their heirs, something she realized that all humans deserved. She had already been through enough, now it was time for her to embrace the power she was born with and create the world she wanted. After all, wasn’t that what those villagers originally hoped for? Wasn’t she  _ meant  _ to change the world because of what she was?

“You think you know who I am?” Chara suddenly snapped, finally wearing Lissaria down enough that the Whisperer couldn’t force her to think of those memories any more.

Lissaria smirked despite the pain she felt from mentally fighting Chara. The girl  _ really  _ didn’t want to be reminded of why she grew up the way she did. It fascinated Lissaria, how Chara thought Krista  _ still  _ had not been through enough to compare to the horrors she experienced. But then again, nearly all the Determinations she had known over the years were like that: so incredibly self-centered that no other pain compared to theirs. Many of them thought it was enough of a burden just being born as the most powerful SOULs in existence. All the expectations and pressures from their peers and families often trapped Determinations in their own heads. They either became lost in their power and took over, believing they were invincible or they rejected it entirely and isolated themselves from the world.

Lissaria could laugh at the sheer number of Determinations that were the former; she admired the three she had ever known that chose the latter. She truly felt they were the strongest SOULs, to resist the lure of power and control. In the early days, not even the Whisperers could say they were strong enough to reasonably use their magic. Back then, they were as cruel as the Determinations that believed they could rule the world.

And now Chara was the latest SOUL on that list. Lissaria knew for certain there was no way to convince the girl of an alternative choice. In her mind, there was only her victory on the horizon, and she refused to see the potential pitfalls that would send her back to the darkness. As much as she was aware of her recent failure, she refused to believe in the possibility of losing in the end. Lissaria supposed she could admire that extreme confidence, but it also made Chara arrogant, and it proved all the more how lost she was in her own power.

“I know  _ exactly  _ who you are,” Lissaria responded as all her thoughts had flashed through her mind within a second. “I may even know you better than you know yourself.”

“So you understand then, why I have to punish you,” Chara said, finally making it to the bottom of the staircase.

Lissaria looked down on her, “I understand why you  _ think  _ I have to be punished.”

Chara sneered, “You think you did her favor? I’ll make certain this next timeline is even  _ worse _ , and now you have no way to help her. Why suddenly decide to ignore neutrality when you’ve knowingly chosen the losing side?”

The dragon smirked, “You’ve almost neared your millennia birthday, I would think you of all humans would understand the fun in it.”

“How unfortunate that we have different tastes in  _ fun _ ,” Chara responded, a playful tone suddenly lilting into her voice.

Lissaria tried to sneak a look into her thoughts, to see what she was planning, but the human had completely sealed off her mind. She supposed she had pushed Chara too far, then. Maybe it was deserved when in a single second, she teleported and sliced her magic clean through Lissaria’s neck.


	24. Days Long Gone

I lunge up with a sharp gasp, clutching my right arm and blinking spots out of my eyes. My breaths come in shallow gulps as I try to figure out where I am and what happened before this. I can’t think straight as various images flash in my head: snow, darkness, gold eyes, red blood…  _ red eyes _ .

I hold my head in my hands as I force myself to ignore the images and simply  _ breathe _ .

_ There is nothing to worry about. No one is going to hurt you. _

My efforts in trying to multitask immediately melt away, and I just breathe. It helps my other senses begin to do their jobs as my heart slows down. The air isn’t cold here, I’m in a quiet room, the back of my throat is scratchy from a lack of water, and… my right arm feels numb.

I drop my hands from my face and pull back my right sleeve, revealing a sight I never expected to see again: my right arm is entirely healed. Well… not to perfection, but I’ll take it over the ugliness of the Death Vow.

All the red veins are gone; there’s nothing but my pale skin with my real blue veins just faintly below the surface. The main gash that was always on the verge of bleeding is gone, only leaving behind a clean white line on either side of my forearm. It’s a ghostly reminder of what was once carved into my skin.

Unfortunately, it reminds me of how the last timeline  _ ended _ , and I press my hands against my face again to block out the memories.

_ Just breathe, just breathe. _

But I can’t avoid remembering the sensations, the  _ feeling  _ of a dragon’s teeth biting clean through my skull. Thankfully, that’s the last thing I remember, so I don’t know  _ exactly  _ what it’s like to be eaten. But still… like how it feels to have my arm cut off, I can’t shake how it feels to have my head crushed.

“Krista.”

I jump and I drop my hands, looking to my right to see Sans a couple feet away, as if he’s afraid he’ll startle me if he’s too close. Frankly, I’m pretty sure anything would have scared me, but I guess he chose the best method.

The sight of him reminds me all over of how many horrible things probably happened without me here. “How bad was it?” I ask hoarsely.

“Not as bad as you’d think,” he shrugs, taking a few steps forward and gently grabbing my arm.

I let him observe where the Vow once was, unsure if he’s relieved or horrified that it’s finally fulfilled. “But what  _ happened _ ?” I insist.

He sighs as he notices something and reaches forward for my left arm. His gaze roams over the inside of my wrist, spotting something that makes him squint just the slightest.

“What?” I ask, pulling out of his grip.

“Where did you get those scars on your wrists?” he asks softly.

I look at them in confusion, spotting one faint curve of a scar on my right wrist and two distinct ones on my left. I think I got them at the same time, but what was… “Why are you asking this?”

“Do you remember how you got them?” he insists.

I glance at the ceiling in thought as the memory comes to me. Mable had accidentally broken a lamp when we were tossing a stuffed animal back and forth. I knew it was a risk to go into the main room, but I still allowed it since she had more fun with the extra distance. When my father caught us… at least the punishment was predictable.

“They were from a broken lamp. I’m sorry, why is this important?”

“Because Chara showed me how it happened.”

“What?” I swing my feet off the couch to face him, and he takes it as an opportunity to sit next to me. “Why would she show you an incident  _ that  _ insignificant?”

His eyes snap to me, “Don’t you  _ dare  _ call that insignificant.”

I shrug, “Well… there were many days that were far worse than that. I’m surprised she didn’t make you watch the previous timeline.”

Sans sighs and rubs his forehead, “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

I bite my lip as I realize the horrifying implications. I shouldn’t refer to my pain as if it’s never mattered or hurt me in the first place. Simply reminding him of that timeline should be enough to freak  _ me  _ out.

I rub my right arm as I try to think of something better to say when he says, “She also showed me everything that Papyrus went through when we were in the lab. She wanted to know where you were, and to get me to talk, she was trying to prove to me why Papyrus deserves mercy more than you do.”

“Why didn’t you just tell her I was-” I cut myself off, I’m not sure even  _ I  _ want to hear myself say the word.

“I told her eventually; she didn’t believe me.”

“Couldn’t she read your mind?”

“Interestingly enough, no, everything she showed me was what she’d seen from the Void. I guess it’s even more evidence that she’s not as powerful as she thinks she is.”

I squint a bit in thought. Have we seen proof that she’s not as powerful as she initially was? How come I haven’t noticed it?

“I mean, she obviously isn’t so powerful anymore since you were able to kill her,” he says, reminding me that  _ did  _ happen. However, I still feel so weak in comparison to Chara that I don’t see a chance of winning. 

That’s no comfort, but… I’m not freaking out right now at the fact that she’s alive again, is that a good sign?

I suddenly jump up to my feet as the reality hits me full-force. There’s no Death Vow in my back pocket to run away from her with. If she gets her way again… I start seeing the possibilities, imagining all the methods she’ll use to make me suffer.

I can’t go through that again… but there’s no escape.

A hand grips my left arm and I flinch away, feeling my body shake from the sudden shock.

“Calm down,” Sans says.

“Calm- how can I calm down, Sans?” I ask, instinctively gripping my right shoulder. “I haven’t faced her since I killed her, and who knows how angry she’ll be now that I’ve taken her control over the Void?”

“Everything you just said means you have a better chance at winning now more than ever,” he insists.

“I really don’t think-” I cut myself off as it becomes more difficult to breathe. I’m  _ really  _ thinking about it now, all the factors, the possibilities. How are we going to die in this run?

“Hey, look at me,” my brother says, gripping my shoulders. I force myself to breathe as I look at him, wondering how frustrating it is to deal with me. “We’ll never win if you don’t believe we can. Now, I know it’s hard to ignore what she’s capable of, but think about what  _ you’re  _ capable of.”

My heart slows as I hang on to his words, reminding myself that my magic is  _ different  _ now. “You’re right; you’re right,” I whisper, pulling away from him to compose myself.

My shaking gradually diminishes as I rub my shoulders, remembering once again how those veins felt when they spread. It would be easier to pretend I’m strong if I didn’t have so many vulnerabilities to remind me of all the times I’ve lost. But the memories are a part of me, and I don’t know whether they make me stronger or not.

“Hey, I want to show you something,” Sans suddenly says, appearing next to me with a glass of water. Once again, I didn’t even notice he had left. 

“Oh?” I ask, taking the glass with a steady hand.

“Yeah, I found it a few months back. Well, technically it was a couple weeks ago when I was slacking off work, but you know how the dates are all over the place.”

I raise an eyebrow as I try to follow his point and he shrugs in defeat, getting the faintest of smiles from me. “Anyway, I meant to show you eventually, but I never got around to it. Wanna see?”

“And where is this?” I ask, taking my glass over to the sink and grabbing my boots.

“Hotland.”

I pause and bite my lip as an image of lava immediately flashes in my head. “Um,  _ where  _ in Hotland?”

“There is no lava whatsoever,” he ensures.

“Well, I guess we have some time to waste before she makes it to Snowdin,” I figure as I shove on my second boot. “Lead the way.”

We’re at the location in an instant, a cave with dark blue walls lit by orange light. Only, the light isn’t from lava, it’s from  _ flowers _ . 

They’re nothing like the cool, six-petaled cyan ones from Waterfall, these are smaller, with three petals each that glow like warm coals under a burning fire. They range from bright yellow to deep orange with even a handful of red ones sprinkled in. The Ceiling Stars reflect them in this tiny room, and when I look around, I don’t see an entrance anywhere.

“How did you find this place?” I ask Sans, leaning down to get a closer look at a yellow flower. It’s not  _ golden _ , just a simple yellow and probably half the size of Flowey.

“Eh, I was bored so I started looking for areas off the main path. Since Waterfall has so many of them, why not see if Hotland has any? Turns out this was the only cave I found in the short time I searched, but its gems do not disappoint.”

“I’m guessing there’s nothing special about them other than the fact that they look cool?”

“Who knows? I was kind of hoping you’d find out.”

I give him a squint and he smirks, but I see the sincerity in it despite his teasing. He  _ really  _ wants the old me back, doesn’t he?

I reach forward and touch the yellow flower, not expecting anything to happen when it ducks underground. I lunge up and all the flowers suddenly follow, disappearing under the orange sand.

“Well, so much for-” the light above us suddenly gets brighter and I look up as a single flame appears. It blooms into a flower and descends to float in front of me. I take a step back and it follows, as if it wants me to take it. I turn to Sans, “Did you know this would happen?”

He shakes his head, “I didn’t touch any of the flowers.”

I look back at the one in front of me and grab its narrow stem, expecting to feel some sense of heat, and it’s only slightly warm. The flower dims and begins to shift through the colors of fire: orange, yellow, blue, white, and even hints of green like when inked paper burns.

“Is this supposed to mean anything?” I ask.

Sans shrugs, “What if it’s just the magic of the Underground trying to make you feel better?”

I raise an eyebrow, “I thought the ‘magic of the Underground’ was technically the Void.”

“I don’t think it composes  _ all  _ the magic, just look at the Echo Flowers and the fruit trees.”

I sigh in agreement and squint at the fire flower. “I wonder if Asgore would know anything about this.”

“There’s something to do,” Sans says, a smirk in his voice.

I look at him, “Are you just trying to distract me from the real problem?”

“Now why would I ever do something like that?” he asks, shortcutting us to the path that leads to Muffet’s home.

I would cross my arms if I wasn’t holding such a fragile flower. “Seriously? You’re gonna force me to walk the rest of the way? It’ll be  _ morning  _ by the time I get my answer and make it back home.”

“That’s kind of the point,” Sans says as if it’s not his problem.

“Look, I get why you’re doing this. I’m unstable and stressed and I don’t know how to relax, but-”

Sans shakes his head and puts his hands on my shoulders. “No, no, you really don’t get it, do you?”

“What am I supposed to get?” I finally ask, fed up with whatever he’s keeping from me.

“Krista, I just want you to find some sense of  _ normalcy  _ again. I know that sounds like a lot to ask for, but can you  _ please  _ stop thinking about her for one second? Remember what it was like when we didn’t even have to worry about Flowey? Remember when the worst that ever happened to us was just how we grew up? And even that was horrifying enough. Now we have timelines upon timelines of memories that don’t matter to anyone but us, and we’re both suffering from them. Can you just take a couple hours to ignore it all? Here we have a stupid, simple little mystery, and frankly, it’s the only thing I want to worry about right now. She won’t find us here, and I  _ doubt  _ she’ll make it to Snowdin any faster than before. We have a few hours, just ignore everything about her, okay?”

The insistence in his voice, the  _ pleading  _ undertones, I realize how much he’s been hurting ever since Frisk… ever since  _ Flowey  _ arrived. We had a fairly normal life after we came to Snowdin. We had a home and a routine. We didn’t fight for survival, and it was  _ so  _ much easier to smile in those days. It makes me realize that I don’t remember the last time I laughed, let alone genuinely smiled. Even as I think about it now, I know I would probably do anything to have one of those days back. I honestly wish I remember how it felt to live like that again.

“Okay,” is all I can whisper back to him as the realization hits me. How is it that the pain of missing those days is somehow worse than when I missed the days when Mom was around? Is it because they  _ feel  _ like they’re possible, but I’m too aware of the fact that Chara would never allow them? I can barely think through the logistics as the emotional pain hits me, aching in the deepest ways that remind me so much of the pain of torture. We’ve lost  _ so  _ much, and it only feels like there’s a long list of more things to come.

“My, my dearies!” Muffet suddenly chirps from her cavern. “I didn’t know you were troubled by so much pain! Please, come here and let me offer you a pastry.”

I raise an eyebrow at Sans and he forces a smile, causing something to splinter in my heart. He’s  _ really  _ trying… for me, so why can’t I bring myself to offer some effort of my own?

We walk into Miss Muffet’s cobweb-coated cavern, glittering with silver light and faintly rustling with the scurrying of little spiders. In the center of the path, Muffet has a table set up with every inch of it holding a dish containing some sort of pastry. A purple and white checkered tablecloth completes the presentation, and she chirps again to welcome us.

“Please, dearies, take one each,” she purrs.

“What’s the cost?” I ask without thinking.

“No cost, dearie.”

I raise an eyebrow, unconvinced. Muffet smirks, “Well… if you had on any of your pretty jewelry,  _ maybe  _ I would have asked.” 

I tense at the implication; it reminds me of when Chara took my necklace and bracelet only to destroy them. They’re both just a collection of metal and gems, but the people behind them mean more to me than anything. 

“But you look like you’ve had a rough night.” She giggles and reaches forward to smooth down my hair, making me flinch back from the unwanted touch. Something flickers in Muffet’s eyes, and she lifts a delicate plate with a perfect puff pastry on it, topped with swirled icing, a raspberry, and a blueberry.

“Please, Krista dear, a good chef can tell when someone needs a sweet, and I value that more than any gold in the Underground.”

Muffet extends the plate to me and I cautiously take the pastry, watching her with wary eyes the entire time. She smiles and places the plate down, picking up a new one that she offers to Sans. “You, dearie, need these instead.” 

On the plate are two macarons, one purple and one blue. “How can you tell?” Sans asks as he takes them.

“Well… I  _ have  _ been baking for 397 years,” Muffet chirps, “and I have seen many SOULs in need of my help. Why do you think I overcharge so much? It’s to prepare for the ones who truly need my treats so they can have theirs for free. Everyone deserves a pastry, but it’s more important to know who  _ needs  _ one. And each person needs something a little different.”

I look down at the delicate treat in my hand, understanding her words, but I could argue my case about why I don’t deserve it. I could probably say I don’t even need it.

“Now I’m not going to let you leave until you take a bite, purple SOUL,” Muffet chides, grabbing my focus again. I glance at Sans and see he’s already eaten the blue macaron.

I sigh and bite the pastry, taking the blueberry with it. Of course, it’s every definition of perfection in a pastry: flaky, balanced flavors, and there’s a tiny bit of warmth in the center where a little pool of chocolate hides.

“Happy?” I ask the spider.

She shakes her head, “Are  _ you  _ happy?”

“Well-” I glance at my brother for help, but he seems to have the same question. “Almost?” I result to admitting.

Muffet smiles, “Then I’ve  _ almost  _ done my job. Come back and tell me how you feel in the afternoon,  _ no  _ excuses.”

I’m about to object when she waves us along. “Now go solve whatever your ‘little mystery’ is, if I can’t bring you joy then that better. I don’t like seeing such precious SOULs struggle.”

We walk around her table and down the path, finishing our pastries by the time we exit the cavern. I brush the crumbs off my fingers and switch the fire flower into my right hand so I can stretch out the tendons in my left. The purple path turns to blue and I realize we’re on that stage again, reminding me of the last time we were here.

“That was surely different from the last time we were in her cavern, wasn’t it?” I ask, staring out at all the empty chairs. Sans turns to me out of the corner of my eye, and I feel a sudden smile when I remember what we joked about all those months ago. “Do you want to perform a solo? I could ask Mettaton if he’ll play music in here. The only question is: how dramatic do we want the song to be?”

Sans snickers and looks up at the deep blue Ceiling Stars. “I don’t think a room like this could handle how powerful my voice is. As you know  _ so  _ well, I’m a better opera singer than Mettaton’s autotune.”

I giggle as I imagine the idea of them in a singing contest. “We’d need Papyrus and Undyne in here to judge, and Muffet would be making a fortune off the audience with her eight-million-G pastries. And I would choose whatever background music is easiest to dance to, which of course would make it harder for you guys to sing to but, hey, you need a challenge. And-”

I cut myself off when I notice his smile, the real, genuine one. “What?”

“You have that sparkle back in your eyes; I missed it,” he admits.

For some reason, the reminder doesn’t make my smile drop. I only ask, “How long has been since you last saw it?”

“Way too long,” he says, taking my left hand with his own and giving it a squeeze. “I hope it will stick around a little longer.”

“I hope so, too,” I admit, squeezing back before we let go and continue on as if nothing happened, only there’s a lighter mood between us.

He suddenly shortcuts before we reach the orange path, and I stop when we’re in Asgore’s courtyard.

“Like you said, it would just take too long to walk all the way here,” Sans smirks.

“Yeah, but we didn’t consider the fact that Asgore is most likely sleeping right now.”

“You probably never noticed this since that matress was so comfy,” I roll my eyes even though it’s the truth, “but Asgore normally wakes up about three times a night. It’s definitely weird; he just walks around the house a bit before going back to sleep. I think it’s because he always has a lot on his mind. Anyway, we should be able to catch him soon.”

“Clever skeleton,” I say as he shortcuts us into the dark house. The flower actually provides a lot of light, and we head over to the dining table to wait.

I sit in my normal spot without thinking, and it brings up several memories I feel like I’m experiencing for the first time. There were all those meals when I barely ate anything, all those English lessons after we first escaped the lab, and all those hours spent putting together puzzles. I’d like to think things have changed for the better, but it really feels like I traded a physical prison for a mental one. All in all… while I’ve definitely healed physically since them, I feel like I’ve only gotten worse emotionally.

“Do you have any theories about the flower?” Sans asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Not really,” I admit, surprised that I’m not as curious about it as I should be.

“Come on, you always have a theory that you spend hours overthinking,” he smirks.

“It hasn’t even been an hour.”

“With the way you are, you must have thought of  _ something _ .”

My throat tightens at his insistence of the way I am. It makes me feel… like I’ve lost that part of myself. Parts of me really did die in that timeline, but did  _ any  _ of the old Krista remain?

“I can overthink anything relating to our near future,” I blurt, recognizing that  _ shred  _ of who I am, but of course, it only relates to my tormentor.

Sans sighs, “You are really making me work, you know that?”

“What?” I ask defensively.

“I’m not going over it again, and I’m sorry, maybe I’m pushing you too much. But I’m trying anything and everything to distract you.”

“So now you’ll outright admit it?”

“Oh, you know what I’ve been doing. This would all be so much easier if you were more willing to go along with it.”

“And why should I when I have every reason in the world to focus on fighting her?”

Sans raises an eye socket, “‘Every reason?’ Really?”

“Fine, name one against it.”

He scoffs and begins to list the disputes on his fingers. “Your health is the biggest one; I hope you  _ do  _ realize that you need to take care of yourself. You don’t understand your new magic. I’m stressed out, you’re stressed out. We don’t even know how you’ll react to the Barrier. She’s been knocked down a peg by losing so that should count for something. Do you need me to go on because I definitely can.”

I sigh, “But I can’t just ignore her either. We have a feasible plan and I don’t think those reasons are strong enough to ignore it.”

“Fine, believe that, but what you can’t deny is that you need a  _ break _ . So stop theorizing about the future, and think about the flower.”

“I really don’t think-”

“Nope, think about the flower,” he demands.

I roll my eyes and look down at the ever-changing colors that shift like the glow of coals. Is it a form of fire magic? Did the flowers live on the Surface in caves like the Echo ones? What sort of purpose do they fulfill?

I glance at Sans, “You got me; I have questions and a vague theory.”

“Let’s hear them.”

“What if these are some sort of intermediary between the Echo flowers and the golden ones? What if they have magic like the Echoes, but they’re more symbolic than useful like the goldens?”

“You are partially correct,” Asgore says from down the hall and I jump.

“Hello, little ones, I didn’t think you’d pay me a visit at an hour like this,” he says, walking over to lean against the chair at the head of the table across from me.

“We had some questions,” Sans says, “and they’ve just been keeping us up all night.”

Asgore just barely smirks, “I’m not sure about that, but I’m not upset. May I see the flower?”

He reaches out a hand, and I place the fragile little thing in his palm, wondering what he can sense about it that I can’t detect. Then again, I didn’t really look into it any farther than notice the faint bits of surface-level magic.

Asgore tilts the flower to look at it from all angles, as if he’s searching for something. He’s quiet for a few seconds before he says, “Oh, Iria, I didn’t think you had done it.”

“Who?” Sans asks.

Asgore sighs, “Iria was one of the humans who fought for us during the War. Well, initially she helped the wizards, but it wasn’t long before she came to us. Of the few humans who did, it made sense that nearly all of them were Bravery SOULs like her.” The king gives me a pointed look, “Before she died in one of the final battles, she was devising a defense against the wizards’ magic to protect the monsters. Despite her willingness to fight for us, Iria lacked faith in the magic of monsters. She felt that we would never have victory unless we had more human magic on our side. So she decided to… ‘bottle up’ her magic for future use. She wanted to leave it for us in an object that only we would see as meaningful. Since monsters value the Echos and goldens, she figured a flower would be the right object. But we never saw that flower. By the time she figured out how to channel her magic into another living thing… it was the day before she died… or so we thought.”

Asgore glances down at the flower again. “This is most definitely magic, but it is also a symbol, a symbol of the friendships monsters and humans used to have. I doubt this is as powerful as it once was, but there is still Iria’s strength in it.”

“What kind of use does it have? Attack or defense?” Sans asks.

“It could be anything considering the versatility of human magic; I suggest you inspect it in a wide-open space as a precaution,” Asgore says as he gives the flower back to me.

“Don’t you want to keep it as a reminder of her?” I ask.

Asgore gives me a sad smile, “It would only be another reminder of my failures. As much as I respected her, I don’t need to keep her final gift.”

I squint a bit at the ever-shifting colors on the petals, thinking of one final question. “We initially found many flowers in a single room, and they all combined to form this one. Would that mean anything significant?”

Asgore shakes his head, “I assume she had spread her magic out among several flowers as to not overwhelm them, but once it found a potential wielder, it combined into one for easier use.”

“Again, to use it for what?” Sans asks, unconvinced that Asgore doesn’t know what it does.

The king shrugs, “That is for you two to find out. Iria’s magic has no power against the Barrier; therefore I see no use for it.”

He backs away and gestures towards the door. “Now I love when you two visit, but perhaps you could do it at a time during the day?”

“Of course, sorry, it’s just been one of those nights,” Sans says smoothly.

Asgore nods, “I understand. Good night, children.”

He’s about to turn away when Sans says, “Just one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“Is it okay if we enter the Barrier room?”

My head snaps in his direction as Asgore asks, “Why?”

Sans shrugs, “Krista never got to see it all those months ago. Since we’re here and we’re kinda restless, I just thought it’d be something to do.”

Asgore looks hesitant, and something flickers in his eyes when he finally says, “Alright, but just for a few minutes and then you head on home. I don’t know if I told you this, but I can sense whenever someone is in that room. So… make it quick, there’s really not much to see anyway.”

“You betcha,” Sans says before rising out of his chair and neatly pushing it beneath the table. “Night, Your Majesty.”

Asgore merely nods to each of us before heading down the hall and into his room.

“Okay, really,  _ why _ ?” I ask Sans in a whisper.

“It will ease some of your concerns,” he says.

I blink and we’re suddenly in the final room before the Barrier. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the dim Throne Room and I keep my eyes  _ straight ahead _ .

“So we’re seeing if I’m capable of enduring  _ more  _ torture?” I snap before immediately realizing how harsh my tone is.

“The only way this is gonna work is if we know whether or not you’re affected any differently. If you want to be involved in getting rid of her, then you’ll have to test this,” Sans reasons.

He’s right, but… I don’t know if I can do it.

“Hey,” he says, grabbing my attention, “remember: you don’t  _ have to _ do this.”

I sigh, “No, I do; there’s no way around it.”

I walk down the hall and turn to face the room of black and white infinity, immediately feeling its immeasurable power. The flower still rests in my palm, and its weight suddenly triples to the point that it feels like a stone.

“That’s weird,” I say, the sudden change momentarily distracting me from the room only a few feet away. 

Sans walks up to my side and looks at the flower in question. “Feel that,” I say, placing the flower in his palm.

He raises an eye socket, “What is it?”

“You don’t feel how heavy that is?” I ask, taking it back.

“No, why do you think I can’t feel it?”

“I wonder…” I say, my gaze lifting to the room, “if the Bravery magic is trying to tell me something.” I turn to my brother, finally feeling fear for him rather than myself against the Barrier. “Just in case anything happens, promise me you won’t follow.”

“What?” he asks, suspicion narrowing his eyes.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen if I step in there with this flower, so-”

He cuts me off, “Why take it then?”

“Because I… I  _ feel  _ like it will tell me something if I step in there,” I stumble, unsure of my reasoning. For once, instead of thinking it through, I’m just blindly trusting a feeling.

Sans’ eyes narrow, as if he’s recognized that, too. “I won’t make any promises, but I will let you lead the way.”

I get the sense that it is the most amount of control he’s willing to give me, perhaps even that is more than I should have in my current state.

I look to the room again and take a few steps closer, feeling my magic tense in anticipation. I force myself to ignore all that I have experienced before and simply move forward, stepping into the Barrier room.

The flower suddenly becomes so heavy that I drop it and the once fragile thing hits the ground with a  _ thud _ .

I look back to see Sans’ reaction and my throat closes when the entrance is gone. There’s nothing but endless black and white infinity forever behind and forever forward. 

My magic stirs with distrust as I suddenly sense  _ someone  _ standing behind me. But before I can turn, the person throws my hair over a shoulder and places a cool finger on a prominent scar on the back of my neck.

“So  _ you’re  _ the Perseverant I’ve been waiting for.”


	25. If Only You Could Believe

The second her sentence ends is the second I turn and slash with my magic, hitting nothing but air as a woman stares down at me. I stumble back and lift my sword, glaring at the woman as I try to hide my shock.

Her orange eyes roam over my face, scrutinizing every detail as if I’m a disappointment. I try to replicate her judgmental stare, but I know I fail as I find myself in awe of her instead. 

The woman’s warm brown skin seems like it’s being kissed by the sun rather than the disorienting flashes of white light that rush by. Her black hair falls in waves over her shoulders, stopping just at her elbows in a perfect line. She wears a mint green cloak that’s parted in the middle to reveal her black dress underneath. A gold sash is tied around her hips, and I notice the hilt of a small dagger peeking out of it.

My eyes snap back up to hers and I strengthen my glare. “What do you want?”

“Hmm... I always imagined you’d be prettier, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers,” the woman hums, reaching up to stroke a clump of her hair.

“What… do you  _ want _ ?” I emphasize, not anywhere near the mood for playing games with strangers.

“Nothing in particular… I’m just curious,” she says, those orange eyes continuing to roam.

I suddenly feel vulnerable without my coat, with nothing but a sweatshirt and jeans to provide me warmth in this room that is suddenly  _ very  _ cold. The back of my mind wants to remind me of another observation, but I shove it away, too afraid that thinking about it will make me drop my guard.

I lift my chin, “You must be Iria.”

“And you must be the Angel,” she says, a sly smile spreading across her face. That smile, paired with her beauty, remind me all-too much of what Ava was like before she learned our grandparents’ greatest secret.

“I’m no Angel,” I immediately respond, “just a survivor.”

Iria laughs, “You think the Angel can only be a Determination. Oh you poor, tortured little Perseverant, there is so much you don’t see.”

“Care to explain?” I snap.

She smiles, “Every generation has its Angel… or  _ Angels _ . For good or bad, they make astonishing changes to the world that have a lasting impact for future generations. The seven wizards could be considered my generation’s Angels. While you, Frisk, Chara… maybe even Sans and Flowey could be the Angels of today.”

My mouth twists to the side in disbelief, hiding my shock that she knows so much. I shouldn’t be surprised; at this point it feels like wondering about that is the least of my questions. Instead, I’d rather ask what she’s basing her claims on. Our magic? Our actions or personalities? It makes me wonder if she’s like Lissaria in which she’s good at making her beliefs sound like facts.

“What makes you think that’s true?” I snap.

“If I explained any more, you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Then once again, what do you  _ want _ ?”

“To show you your potential if you are to win. Your magic may be more powerful, but my goodness, do you have quite the leash on it.”

I take a step back, “And how exactly are you going to do that?”

She smiles, “Look around you, Perseverant. Do you know where you are?”

“The Barrier room,” I hiss without so much as a glance.

“And what  _ hasn’t  _ happened?”

I bite my lip as she forces me to consider what I’ve been ignoring. “I’m not in pain.”

“More precisely, your magic has not turned against you. It shows that you view it as an ally rather than an enemy. Test a simple globe of light and see what it does.”

I cautiously listen to her and form a globe, feeling my magic pour out of me like the destruction of a dam. The globe becomes three times the size of the ones I normally create, and I gasp as it keeps growing. I try to stop it, to control how much magic I use, but it’s suddenly like I’ll explode if I don’t use it.

Now that I actually  _ realize  _ where I am, it’s like my magic doesn’t care what I think. All it wants is to wander and explore the world I’ve kept it from after being smothered for so long.

I can’t stop it as purple light pours from my globe, spreading across the ground like a misty fog early in the morning. I suddenly sense the six SOULs hidden underneath the floor, and I  _ see  _ the faces of the humans they once belonged to.

“Try to shape it,” Iria distantly says as the magic use begins to weigh on my eyes. It’s as if my body can’t handle the power in my SOUL. “Shape it into something bigger than you’ve ever done.”

I look up at her as I try to understand. What have I  _ ever  _ done with my magic? Globes, swords, dots of light, it’s never been much…  _ I’ve  _ never been much.

“Your insecurities are holding you back; therefore it hinders your magic, too. Don’t view yourself as the simple, forgotten girl that you  _ think  _ you are. Imagine yourself as what you  _ can  _ be: a leader, a queen, an  _ Angel _ .”

I don’t want to trust her words as my fears come back, but… what are they exactly?

Iria smiles, “And this is why I’m here to help you.”

_ Can she read my mind? _

“Yes, I can, Krista. A certain Magic Whisperer told me to save my magic before I died. She said the Angel of the Monsters would need a guide if she were to learn how to save them. The Whisperer gave me the faintest gift of mind-reading so I could understand you, and my, you are far more complicated than I was expecting.”

“You mean damaged,” I hiss, unsure if I should be insulted or grateful that Lissaria planned this for me nearly a thousand years before I was born.

Iria twirls a single strand of her hair. “I do not believe anyone is damaged; we are all merely in need of the instruction and desire to improve. So once again, Krista, shape your magic into something greater than you ever have before.”

I look back down at my globe as my magic continues to pour out of it, searching and waiting for my command. I bite my lip as I think of a simple shape and the globe transforms into a flower.

“I know you can do better,” Iria critiques and I give her a quick glare before focusing again.

Something bigger… is it possible to create what I want? I will my magic into moving like wildfire instead of mist and it gleefully obeys, transforming into raging purple flames that reach high above my head.

“Now make a new friend that will fight for you,” Iria chirps, her eyes gleaming like she’s made a bet that I’ll create what she wants. Her smugness sparks my irritation and I summon my attack without realizing it.

The purple wildfire combines into a creature that rises behind me, a creature I can’t see, but I feel it like the weight my hair resting over my right shoulder.

“Oh, that is beautiful,” my…  _ teacher  _ hums, scanning the creature up and down.

I turn to my creation and feel my throat tighten when I see it’s a towering dragon. It’s entirely made out of my magic, glowing purple and glaring at Iria as it waits for my command. It’s eerie how similar it looks to Lissaria, but I’m not surprised considering how limited my knowledge is of what dragons look like. I wonder if it will look down at me, and it instantly does as if it’s asking what I want it to do.

“Make it attack me,” Iria says, making me turn back to her.

“Why?”

“Because you need practice and I know you won’t do it with anyone else. You can’t hurt me or the Barrier, so why not?”

She has a point, and this is probably the best time for me to do this. So I straighten my posture and become more aware of my dragon, feeling its seemingly real body like I feel the hilts of my swords.

Iria forms a ring of orange flames over her head, making me wonder just how much magic she has. The woman smirks as she most likely heard my thought. “There is enough of my magic left for a good sparring match. After that, I will finally leave this world forever. I want to leave with the hope that you will win, so don’t disappoint.”

Without a second’s pause, she throws her flames at me, and I instinctively form a shield, forgetting all about my dragon.

“You need to use your attacks more. No defense!” she snaps, shattering through my shield and throwing me back.

I stay on my feet, but it’s a struggle to keep my balance as I’m both stunned and overwhelmed by the sudden shock to my magic.

Iria approaches and I flinch back, unsure how much of a threat she poses.

“Oh, would you like to know?” she smirks, throwing a flash of fire before I can recover. A sudden burn engulfs my left shoulder and I scream from the pain, seeing the burn wound on my right arm in my mind’s eye.

“Now focus and  _ attack _ ,” Iria commands as I blink tears out of my eyes and see she’s even closer now.

I force myself to straighten and reimagine my dragon, only this time, it’s in front of me, and I make it blast a wave of purple fire at the Bravery SOUL. I’m not sure if my attack hits home, but I back away even more, half focusing on my attack and glancing at my shoulder. It’s bad but not so bad that I can see my bones.

That slight comfort is enough for me to focus on Iria again, and I tune out my pain.  _ Focus  _ and fight, it’s the only way I can make this practice useful.

I step out of the shadow of my dragon to see she’s disappeared, and I cease my attacks, searching for her magic’s aura since I doubt she has a SOUL.

I find it in the knick of time when I snap around and block the arrow that was flying for the back of my head. In response, I change my dragon into a tiger, something smaller and easier to manage. 

Iria stands near the faint exit in the distance, and I swear I see a single star through the magic of the Barrier. She pulls her bow back again and I take off in a sprint towards her, flinging myself into a somersault to the left when she launches it. My tiger continues to run toward her and I command it to leap for her throat, disregarding the little drains on my magic when she fires multiple arrows into its body. I can’t feel the pain of the attacks, but I know where each one hits. Still, my tiger advances and throws her on the ground, fighting to clamp its jaws around her neck.

I sprint the rest of the way as Iria manages to shove off my attack, and I eliminate my tiger right as I reach her. She vaults up and draws her dagger while creating another one in her right hand, but I’m prepared.

For once, it’s an advantage to be so short as I duck to block her daggers with a sword and slam my right shoulder into her stomach. Without another thought, I send a spear straight into her back as she falls, hitting the ground with a satisfying  _ thud _ .

The back of my mind screams for me to pay attention for any other attacks, and I keep my sword up, searching for the sensation of any other magical advances.

Iria laughs and I look down at her as she props herself up, completely unharmed. “Good job, sweetie. I suppose I can die having hope for you, but I must say, Determinations are quite different from Bravery SOULs.”

“Are you implying that I don’t have what it takes?” I snap. With the rush of using so much power, I can’t help but feel insulted as all the reminders that I’m not good enough come back.

“No, no, I’m merely stating that you better manage your magic better. Keep in mind that I only have a few drops left. Your tormentor will be capable of  _ hours  _ of combat. Will you?”

I stiffen as that heaviness weighs on my eyes, and the pain of the burn makes my shoulder throb. “I need more practice,” I admit.

“Then you better spar with anyone who’s willing to; otherwise, you better hope that Chara will continue to Reset until you finally defeat her.”

“ _ Is _ our plan a possible victory?” I can’t help but ask.

“Who knows? It all depends on you. If history has anything to say, then no, but what do  _ you  _ have to say about that?”

I glance up at the exit to the Barrier and clearly see the hill outside… as well as the night sky beyond. There really is nothing for me up there. If I wanted to, I could just give up and back away. The Surface holds nothing but years of work and undeniable hatred against the people I love. If Chara loses, then that will become the new battle of my life. Will it truly be worth it? Aren’t we happy down here? Then again, Chara has done a good job at eliminating almost any sense of happiness. Taking her SOUL in the Barrier room kills two birds with one stone, but what if I destroyed her anywhere else? Would we stay down here forever? I doubt any other Determination SOUL would come within my lifetime. Is that the better option for everyone? I would do something useful with my life by eliminating the only threat to the monsters. Wouldn’t they remain safe down here forever? But… don’t they also  _ deserve  _ better?

“You’re debating if it’s worth it,” Iria says and I look back down at her. “You want to defeat Chara, but you’re not sure if you could handle the life beyond that.”

“Yes,” I admit, suddenly feeling like a spoiled child that’s been given everything and done nothing useful with it.

The Bravery SOUL stands up, and her height makes me feel even more like a child. “Take it from someone who once helped Xanvalus plot the creation of the Barrier, that fighting for a life on the Surface will be worth it. The Underground was meant to be a punishment greater than death, and even though it’s been a haven for you, see it through Asgore’s eyes. Hell, look at it through your  _ puppy’s  _ eyes. They have had years without the sunlight, they’ve missed out on all the amazing places they could visit, and all the opportunities to learn and grow do not exist down here. You want to be selfless? Then you won’t hesitate to make sure you take Chara’s SOUL  _ right here _ . And even though you don’t see it, there’s another family that you can  _ only  _ have up there. So stop holding on to your life that has past, and instead, fight for the new one that lives in the future. You know who you are, but you don’t know what you are capable of. A  _ real  _ life awaits you, but will you go the lengths to reach it?”

I’m stunned by everything she says, and I’m unsure how to respond as Iria’s magic begins to fade.

“It is finally my time to leave. I give you my greatest respects and wishes for your victory. Make the efforts of generations worth it, Perseverant. Only one creature deserves to die in the dark, and it has never been you.”

I’m about to respond when she disappears, leaving me a clear view of the distant Surface. I stare at the grass that sways in the night breeze, and when I take a few steps closer, I see the Big Dipper just over the crest of the hill. Those seven stars have never felt so close yet so far at the same time, and my eyes mist with tears as I remind myself of all that must happen to get there.

“Krista!” I hear Sans’ voice and I turn to face him as he shortcuts from the distant entrance to right in front of me. “What happened? Are you okay?” he frantically says, his eye immediately noticing my injured shoulder.

I realize I still have my sword in my hand and I eliminate it, suddenly feeling a heaviness under my eyes.

“Yeah, I’m… I’m fine,” I whisper, certain he doesn’t believe me at all.

Sans puts his hands on either side of my face to force me to look at him, and he sees something that makes fear spark in his eyes. “ _ Krista _ , what happened? I was waiting for nearly three hours.”

The amount of time makes me tense up. “ _ What _ ?”

“The doorway completely disappeared and I couldn’t sense you or the Barrier at all. What happened? Your eyes were just glowing like they did when you were angry a couple timelines ago.”

I shake my head out of his grip as that heaviness becomes nearly unbearable in my eyes. “Three hours means she could be leaving the Ruins by now. We need to get back,” I insist, stepping around him and heading for the exit.

“Not until you explain what the hell happened in here,” he says, easily keeping pace with me.

“It felt like twenty minutes, now we need to go,” I say, hoping he’ll just  _ listen  _ and take us to Snowdin. 

“Do you even  _ feel  _ your shoulder? Do you realize that you’re not reacting to the Barrier? What happened with the flower? Where did it go?” he asks.

“Iria showed up and we sparred; it was nothing important,” I say, stepping out of the Barrier room and immediately getting  _ hit  _ with a rush of exhaustion. I stop in my tracks and close my eyes, fighting to breathe as my body suddenly begs to collapse.

“‘Nothing important?’ Why can’t you just explain it to me?” Sans snaps as his voice begins to sound like it’s farther and farther away. It’s the kind of strange, tunnel-like sound I seem to hear whenever I’m on the verge of sleep.

“Look, can we just talk about this later?” I ask, opening my eyes to step around him and walk down the hall. I make it as far as the entrance to the back of the Throne Room, barely seeing the horrifying reminder until it’s too late.

“No,” he stops me with blue magic, and I freeze as reality mixes with memories. I see the green ivy peppered with my blood. I feel the needles shoved under my fingernails. I smell the sickening mixture of coppery blood and pungent golden flowers. I taste that blood along with my salty tears. Above all, I hear her laughter roaring over my screams. This sudden helplessness, this sudden lack of  _ control _ , it makes me lose all sense.

My magic lashes out in a panic, fighting to push that controlling force  _ away  _ and save me from another round of torture. My knees hit the ground and I tuck my head under the protection of my arms. I can’t hide, but it’s the safest I can feel as my panic rises higher and higher. This room… it’s  _ real _ , and all those memories, they are  _ real _ , too.

My breaths shudder as I squeeze my eyes shut, helpless to my fear and panic as exhaustion threatens to drag me under. But I can’t sleep, she would never allow that. All she’ll do is kill me and bring me back for another long month of torture.

“Krista!”

Hands roughly pull me out from under the protection of my arms, forcing me to see I’m no longer in a room of green ivy but a dim hall of blue-gray light.

I instinctively flinch away from the person as my eyes adjust to the difference, taking in the ceiling that seems miles above and the windows displaying what I could easily mistake as moonlight.

I look back to the person to realize it’s not my tormentor; it’s my brother. Tears prick in my eyes as I realize what he must have seen: another example of the weaknesses that Chara has ensured to instill in me.

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Sans says quietly, brushing my messy hair out of my face and sending cooling healing magic over my shoulder. 

I stare at him as I try to piece together reality, and I realize that I used a good portion of my remaining magic to defend myself against nothing. I pull out of his grip and crawl back, afraid of the truth, but I still ask. “Did I hurt you?”

Sans shrugs, “Krista-”

“Did my magic hit you?” I insist.

He sighs, “Yes, but look, I’m fine. It wasn’t that strong of a hit considering my condition; I’ve had much worse before.”

He tries to hide it, but I see his brief wince as he reaches for me. I  _ did  _ hurt him.

I lunge back and crawl out of his reach, paranoid that I’ll hurt him again if I think too much about the room we’re in. Sure, it’s not the Judgement Hall, but it’s a perfect replica with different lighting. Why isn’t he affected by the memories like I am? Why am I such a damaged little creature with no hope of ever finding a sense of safety again?

“Don’t get near me,” I hiss, making my way to my feet as I stumble into a pillar. That heaviness returns to my eyes and I just  _ know  _ I’m getting close to passing out. But I can’t do that until he  _ leaves _ , until I’m certain I will be incapable of hurting him when I undoubtedly fall into the shadows of suppressed torture.

“You’re overreacting; seriously, all you did was push me into the wall. I don’t blame you; I shouldn’t have used my magic considering where we were. Now, I can take us home, but you have to calm down. I won’t press any questions until you’re ready; besides, I think sleep is more important right now.”

“Sleep?” I ask through a breathy laugh. “She’s most likely walking through Snowdin right now and you’re telling me to  _ sleep _ ?”

Sans sighs and something flickers in his eyes as he steps forward. “Okay, I think I know what to do.”

“What are you doing?” I snap, pressing my back against the pillar as he approaches.

“You’re not thinking clearly and it’s my job to take care of you at times like this. Now, I know you don’t see it, but nothing else should matter right now except getting you in a better mindset. So we’re going home, and you are not leaving the house until you recover.”

He grabs my left wrist and we’re suddenly in our dim house. It’s still dark outside, but I can tell the Ceiling Stars are nearing their dawn settings.

I rip my wrist away and collapse on the couch, feeling  _ so  _ tired that I rest my head in my hands. But I can’t stop. I have to get up. I have to prepare for Chara. I have to…

Warm healing magic soothes my tense shoulders, luring me closer to the bliss of sleep, and I flinch back, realizing Sans had somehow gotten my boots off without me noticing.

“Stop it,” I whisper, pulling back from his magic.

“You can’t fight me this time; let someone else be the big sibling for once,” he says, sounding so much like an older brother.

“And what if you die?” I hiss. “You know I’ll never forgive myself if anything happens to you.”

“Do you really think it’d be your fault if I died?” he asks, raising an eye socket.

“Yes,” I say without thinking even though he’s  _ technically  _ right.

Sans rolls his eyes and pulls my blanket off the back of the couch, unfolding it and throwing it over my head. “What else can I do until you force me to resort to magic?”

I shove the blanket away and glare at him, hating how obvious it is that he’s right and I’m just being stubborn. “Fine, but you have to  _ promise  _ you’ll get me up if anything happens, and no searching for her either.”

Sans holds out his left hand, “It’s a deal. I promise I’ll get you up if there’s anything even remotely suspicious.”

I shake his hand, unsure how serious he is. He sounds pretty sincere, but I can’t help but wonder if he has plans while I’m out of the picture.

“You’re a hundred percent serious? You won’t leave the house?” I ask.

“Yes, now will you get some sleep? I’m exhausted just by looking at you.”

He turns and heads for the stairs, attempting to walk normally… but I see the faint limp. I’m about to say something when he shortcuts to his doorway and enters his room. He softly shuts the door, as if to remind me that I wouldn’t want to fight with him while Papyrus and Cody are sleeping.

I tremble just the slightest as I think about what I did, how reality blended so flawlessly with the flashbacks that I couldn’t tell them apart. Am I getting worse? What if a time will come when I can’t handle my own memories? What if… what if this was Chara’s plan all along? To make me kill everyone on my own in illusioned self-defense? I don’t want to believe it, but even if it is true, how can I fight it?

I shake my head to ignore the thoughts and gather my blanket around me. Thinking will only keep me awake, and I might as well get  _ some  _ sleep while I have the time. I just have to hope that everything will be okay when I wake up.

***

_ Orange flames flicker in the fireplace, illuminating my dark room and warming the chilled air. Mable leans against me with her head pressed against my shoulder, finally asleep after the hour it took to calm her down.  _

_ She’s worried about anything and everything, as usual, but I can’t blame her. Beyond our door is all that we fear: Father, a dark lab, endless torture, a girl with red eyes, and the all-powerful force that will forever separate us. When either of us leaves this room, we’ll be separated again, and the time we spend apart gets longer after every visit. _

_ I can’t sleep as I savor her presence, knowing in the back of my mind that I can’t hold on to her forever. All I can do is stare into those flames and attempt to memorize how it feels to have her near me. _

_ “Why do you keep coming back here?” a voice says behind me and I turn to see my grandfather leaning against the back wall. His cyan eyes seem to glow in the firelight as he walks forward and grabs Mable’s arm. “You know she’s  _ **_ours_ ** _. You don’t belong anywhere or with anyone. After all, what are you but a failure that deserves every conceivable punishment?” _

_ Before I can retaliate, he pulls her away and into the shadows, chilling the warmth of this room as he towers over me. _

_ “You’re running from what you fear, as you always have. Wouldn’t it be easier to just give up? You have nothing; you deserve nothing. What gain is there in fighting?” _

_ I force myself to my feet and glare at him, knowing my resolve can never change. Still, his smirk doesn’t change as he disappears and the room crumbles into a snow-covered forest. I’m suddenly on my knees with my hands tied around a tree. I know what is coming… and I try to force myself  _ **_out_ ** _ of this world that I know isn’t real. _

_ As if in retaliation, red eyes flash in my mind and throw me into a new area. _

I lunge up and immediately protect my right shoulder, paranoid of the harm that will undoubtedly come to it if I don’t stay alert. I look around in confusion, realizing how seamlessly I transferred from dream to reality.

I rub my eyes before I look around the fairly bright room. It’s probably an hour past dawn based on the light.

Has anything happened within the past couple hours?

I cautiously stand up and search for the SOULs in the house, finding Cody and my brothers in seconds. I sigh with relief and head to the attic, knowing it’s impossible to go back to sleep.

When I reach my dresser, something instinctively makes me pause, and I remember what shirt is near the top of the pile. The reminder dries my throat, but I shove it down as I pull open the drawer and snatch the first shirt I see. Thankfully, I notice it’s a light blue one with little silver and gold flowers on it as I shove the drawer shut.

There, that wasn’t so traumatic.

I get changed and wash my face, hoping it will provide an illusion of some sense of normalcy. But all it does is make me feel like I’m preparing to look nice for my own funeral.

After putting on everything that could make me think this is nothing but another day, (my coat, necklace, and bracelet) I’m back downstairs once again. I sit on the couch and find myself bouncing my right foot in impatient anticipation. I guess I shouldn’t have been so insistent that Sans couldn’t leave the house considering how much  _ I  _ want to go right now.

I keep glancing at his door in hopes that he’ll come out, like a child waiting for permission to watch a movie. The thought gives me an idea as I grab the remote and turn on the TV, making sure to put the audio on the lowest setting. Maybe this could be a good distraction?

I flip through the channels that are almost all Mettaton-centric until one stops me in my tracks. It’s a rerun… an  _ old  _ rerun of my first dance in front of the Monster Kingdom.

I look so…  _ different _ , happier and seemingly more innocent. The sight makes my cheeks warm with grief. I thought I had been through enough  _ then _ , and I was still ignorant to the fact that Chara had destroyed my family. However, that Krista  _ had  _ been through the lab. She knew those horrors, she had seen her own bones, she had nearly starved to death, and she carried the shame of killing what was left of the family she grew up with. But despite all that… she still found joy.

I change the channel and turn off the TV, biting my lip as I once again feel as lost as I did when Chara tortured me.

I realize that I just want this to be  _ over _ … and I’m beginning to not care how that happens. Sure, I want my brothers to be okay. I don’t want any of the monsters to get caught up in this. But me… do I really matter?

Despite all I’ve been told by my brothers, Lissaria, and now, even Iria… I’ve lived enough; sixteen years is a good chunk of time. It’s better that I give others a chance to live rather than selfishly fighting for my own life. I shouldn’t have worried so much about myself; I shouldn’t have even  _ thought  _ about the possibility of a future.

The only way to stop Chara is to give everything: every drop of magic, every ounce of strength, and inevitably, my life. Without her, the monsters will have a real chance. One day, a new Determination human will fall, and they will be free. Asgore will find peace with the humans, and a thousand-year-old conflict will end. They don’t need  _ me _ . My purpose has always been to stop Chara; I feel like it’s my only responsibility. It will make up for my Meadows ancestors’ failure and redeem the Curonius’ for their selfishness. It makes perfect sense. Why else would I survive this long?

As much as I’ve held on to the hope for a future, it’s only been there to ensure my survival, to trick my Perseverant SOUL into believing I matter. But now… I’m done with being selfish. I have one purpose, and it’s time I fulfill it.

I stand up and walk over to Cody, peacefully sleeping on his plush bed. I give him a kiss on the head and he thankfully doesn’t wake up. It will make this easier.

I look up to my brothers’ rooms and silently thank them for all they’ve done for me. I wouldn’t have made it this far without them, and I’ll never understand why they love me.

I shove on my boots and walk to the front door, silently opening and closing it. If all goes to plan, I won’t even be around for Sans to get mad at me for this.

I don’t wish for his forgiveness; I only hope he’ll find it easy to move on. In time, perhaps he’ll even realize that they’re better off without me.


	26. The Gift In A Failure

Snowdin’s frosty morning air bites my lungs as I travel to the Ruins doors, saying silent goodbyes to all of its beautiful locations. The Underground has meant so much to me, probably more than it should to any living creature. As bad as many events have been, I can’t ignore the fairly long list of good days I’ve had here, too. They remind me all the more that I have been given enough.

It’s probably twenty minutes later when I finally make it to the doors, and the sight is so jarring that I freeze when I reach the bridge. The left door is just barely cracked open, throwing me into a panic that she’s anywhere in the woods on either side of the path. She’s probably watching… waiting for the right time to attack. So I stride forward with my senses on high alert, preparing to hear her laugh.

But my tormentor doesn’t appear, and I make it all the way to the doors without hearing so much as a stick snap. I stop a few feet away and peer into the room beyond, spotting a purple path and walls of the same deep color.

I’m sure this is her way of baiting me forward; maybe Chara doesn’t want an audience, either. It will just be her and I with no one around to get hurt, just as it always  _ should  _ have been.

I’m about to push the door open when something snaps around my right wrist, and I throw out a flash of magic, leaping away in a sudden panic.

“Hey! Cool it!” Flowey yells as he pops out of the ground on the left. I glance at where I threw my magic to see the snow melted all the way down to the dirt below, glittering with permafrost.

“What the hell do you want!?” I snap in a voice that clearly shows how shaken I am.

“I didn’t think you were  _ that  _ much of an idiot!” he hisses and I detect the fear under his tone.

“What do  _ you  _ know about it?” I hiss back, realizing just how much I didn’t want to deal with anyone but Chara on this final day.

“She’s waiting for you, and since you’re too stupid to realize what’s in store, let me give you a hint. She killed everything in the Ruins and went straight back to the beginning. If you think you’re going to be able to beat her, let me the spoil the ending and tell you that it will be the last mistake you ever make.”

I scoff, “You don’t know  _ anything _ , Flowey.”

“You don’t think I know that she took control of the timeline by stealing the SOUL of another Determination human? You don’t think I know that she killed me and everything in the Underground? Did you forget that  _ I  _ had that same power? I don’t remember every timeline or detail, but I know  _ enough _ .”

“Then why do  _ you  _ care?” I snap. “I  _ don’t  _ matter. In fact, I’d think you’d find enjoyment in watching me die. You won’t even have to do the work this time.”

He opens his mouth to say something and immediately closes it. “No, no, say it Flowey,” I demand. “ _ Why _ are you here?”

“It is the result of an agreement,” a cool voice says to my right and my head snaps in his direction: Gaster.

“I’m not asking for your help,” I snap, wondering if he discovered the same kind of illusion magic that Chara had. But it’s powerful enough that he can show himself outside of Waterfall? He’s speaking in Determination Mono, which means he’s mastered at least some of his new power. Could it work differently for him because he’s a monster?

“You have very self-destructive tendencies,” the scientist says as if it’s something I would have never realized on my own. “If you face her now, you will be giving her exactly what she wants.”

“Then what do you suggest I do?” I raise an eyebrow, annoyed that  _ he  _ of all people is trying to stop me. Of all the monsters in the  _ Underground _ , Gaster and Flowey should be the last two to care whether or not Chara kills me. Perhaps they don’t and they see something happening to whatever they  _ do  _ care about as a result. I just ruin the situation for everyone, don’t I?

“You have a better chance with support, and since you are so desperately paranoid that those you care for will be hurt, why not accept the assistance from monsters you could not care less about?”

I squint at Gaster’s nonchalant tone, unsure what he gets out of this alliance other than the satisfaction of hurting Chara. Maybe that’s all he wants as I look to Flowey. “And you’re just going along with this?”

His face twitches in contemplation before he suddenly smiles, “Well, it would be nice to get back my control of the timelines.”

The reasoning disgusts me and introduces a whole other problem if I’m able to take Chara’s power. But I guess we’ll address that when we get there. For now… I guess we’re allies?

“Fine, then I’ll meet you wherever the Ruins begin,” I tell them before stepping beyond the doors.

The second I’m in the hallway, the door shuts, sealing me off from reaching home. I highly doubt anyone did that but Chara. Who else would have been able to open the door in the first place?

The hallway is dim, with only faint silver Ceiling Stars lighting my way. Dark green ivy covers the upper halves of the walls, reminding me too much of the Throne Room.

I force myself to look forward as I travel down the hall, wondering why the Ruins have been closed off for so long. Was it Toriel’s choice? 

The echoing hallway goes on and on as the brick floor fades from light purple to darker shades, as if it's trying to identify the color of my SOUL.

I finally reach a new pair of double doors and push them open, walking a few paces forward until I have to turn right. At the end of this new hall, I spot a set of light brown stairs that I cautiously climb when I reach them.

The room above stuns me when I make it to the top, enough that I’m afraid I might be hallucinating.

It is an  _ exact  _ replica of Asgore’s house with the only difference being that it’s colorful rather than the gray and white of its castle counterpart. The wood paneling is a light brown with cream-color walls, and the light in this house seems to be less… sterile. When I reach the center of the main room, my eyes struggle to adjust to the warm yellow light from the left hallway. 

It’s like someone used defective magic to paint it, and the end result was the entire hallway turning mustard yellow. Even though it’s not the most pleasing color palette, I think I might have preferred staying in this house than Asgore’s gray and white. Then again, neither of them can compare to what my real home looks like.

I leave the house before I get caught up in my memories and imagination. I’m here for a purpose, and if I start getting sentimental, my resolve to end it all today might waver.

I step out into the courtyard and my eyes suddenly hurt from the contrasting colors of this new area. The walls are the same purple as the past hallway with ivy crawling near the ceiling, but the leaves beneath the windows… they’re bright red.

In the center of the courtyard is the most surprising element: the actual  _ source  _ of the leaves, a black tree. I walk closer to inspect it, a little intimidated by its bare branches that seem to reach out like broken fingers. A pile of the same red leaves lies beneath it, and I squint at them in curiosity, wondering how long it’s been since they fell.

Why is it here? Is it like the trees in Snowdin in which there’s no real explanation? Is it just another strange piece of the Underground? Still… for some bizarre reason, I can’t help but reach out to touch its bark.

The connection creates a hollow feeling in my chest, as if a part of me is dying while I touch the tree. The bark is cracked and dry, with little pieces that are just begging to be picked off. But more importantly… I feel a sense of magic in it, and I suddenly see the faces of the humans who have touched it before me. They’re the same ones I saw when I sensed the SOULs at the Barrier, plus a few others that I don’t recognize. Could some of them be the SOULs I knew in the lab?

The final face I see is Frisk and I flinch away, feeling that hollowness replaced with guilt. Maybe the tree is a symbol of human death, proof that every one of us dies when we enter the Underground.

I step around the tree and continue on, shoving down the fear that suddenly surfaces at the realization of what I’m leaving behind. Unlike all those humans, I built a  _ life  _ here. I rediscovered meaning and purpose in my existence. I found a  _ family _ . But also unlike those humans, I found the being that drove me to enter the Underground in the first place.

We ended up down here for different reasons, but I’m pretty sure they were all to escape the lives we once had. Whether the escape was wanted out of necessity or boredom depends on each story.

The next room has another pile of leaves in its center, and just like in New Home, I step around them. Asgore never explained why he refused to step on the leaves, but now that I’m more aware of the magic of the Underground, I’m not taking any chances in the Ruins either. Speaking of which, I’m surprised by how clean this place looks. I always pictured crumbling buildings and overgrown paths based on the name of this area, especially considering how literal monster titles are. Maybe the name came about over the years by rumor since it was sealed off so long ago.

The most chaotic element would be the green ivy on the walls that sometimes stretches over the path, but other than that, this place is quite neat. That is… until I begin to see Chara’s handiwork.

I pass rooms filled with towering pillars and long halls composed of nothing but the purple path and green ivy. I would dare call this place more beautiful than Hotland if I didn’t see piles of dust marring the pristine scenery.

The halls go on and on, with patches of leaves along the walls every now and then as well as a tiny bridge over a little pool of water. I continue on until I reach a much larger bridge that has spikes sticking out of it with no reasonable place to step. I raise an eyebrow at it and tap one of the spikes with my boot, somehow making all of them descend underneath the bridge. Still not trusting it, I walk over the bridge with a layer of magic on it, waiting for the spikes to reappear. But they stay down until I’m on the other side.

In the next room, I pass a training dummy exactly like the one Undyne has in her courtyard, wondering what monster could possibly have use for it here. Over another couple short bridges and past a small room, I make it to one unlike all the others.

The purple path turns to white brick that splits into two staircases leading down to a new courtyard. Red leaves are piled in between the staircases and a handful of them make a perfect square in the center of the room. I shake my head at the nonsense of the organization and walk on to the next room, finding dark, uneven stone instead of a smooth path beneath my feet.

There’s a little patch of grass in the center of the room that I raise an eyebrow at before moving on. That’s the last thing I should worry about; I get the sense I’m nearing the end. Or… maybe more accurately, the  _ beginning _ .

I turn right into the new room and freeze at the sight, both in awe and terrified of what I see. Just down this short hall of gray rock is an open cavern with faint sunlight illuminating it. While most of the ground is more of that rough rock, there’s a perfect circle of grass in the middle. Golden flowers sprout from the patch of earth, and standing in the center of it all is the princess herself.

She’s facing away from me, wearing her self-made dress with a crown of golden flowers intricately weaved into her short hair. Her hands are peppered with dust as red light dances around them, no doubt teasing and challenging me at the same time.

I don’t know if Gaster or Flowey are nearby. Hell, they could have abandoned me for all I know, but I’m not placing any hopes on them. If it will just be me on my own, then I can live… or more accurately,  _ die  _ accepting that. 

I’m about to form a spear to send at her, hoping I have the element of surprise when she says, “You certainly took your time, my pet. Once again, you are so easily enamored by the sights of the Underground.”

I stiffen with fear at the sound of her voice, feeling my heart pound with such panic that I’m afraid I’ll lose any sense of control before I have the chance to defend myself. I try to bite back any tremors in my voice as I respond, “The Ruins are a nice change of scenery.”

Chara suddenly turns and fixates a calculating stare on me. Her smile is sly, but I see the hatred in her eyes. I see the extreme, irrational rage that suggests I’ve pissed her off more than I thought I could have.

“I will give you one more chance, little girl, to get back in my good graces,” she says, suddenly getting down to business. “If you cooperate, I won’t kill anyone else in the Underground. We can simply leave this place to begin our work on the Surface.”

“What’s the cost?” I ask, feeling my magic immediately recoil at what she’s offering. I see through the specified wording. She won’t kill them, but  _ I  _ will. Leaving the Underground means either two monsters die or they all will eventually. Considering how useful L.O.V.E is, I’m guessing the latter is more immediate. How else would she make me a gray SOUL as quickly as she probably wants?

Chara’s smile only broadens from my rhetorical question. “You’re definitely a stubborn little bitch. I suppose you leave me no choice but to fight for my new world alone. I guess I shouldn’t be annoyed that you’d rather die as the worthless creature you are than live to become something  _ useful _ .”

“You taught me too well,” I smirk, remembering all the times she told me I was nothing through my father.

Chara tilts her head, “Perhaps I did, which means we have nothing more to discuss.”

“No, we don’t,” I conclude before sending a spear to hit her in the back. But she’s expecting it and smoothly steps to the side.

I stop my spear and eliminate it, wondering how I’m going to wear her down.

“You’re so far away, my pet. Why don’t you come closer to the light?” she purrs, waving me forward.

Despite my better instincts, I walk towards the open cavern, feeling my heart pound with increasing fear. When I reach the clearing that opens up to the circular space, I pause and stare her down. Now there’s only about six yards separating us, and the strength of her SOUL is even more noticeable. However, there’s also a strange… distinction to it that I couldn’t see before. Instead of numerous levels of incomprehensible power, there are layers to it that seem to be holding on by only fragments of strength. It’s as if the core of her SOUL is breaking into pieces… and she’s losing the powers she once had.

It’s then that I feel it: the strange entity at the center that doesn’t feel like the rest of her. It’s something that defies what Chara is… something less demonic and more…  _ human _ .

I suddenly sense a flash of power to my left and I duck, creating a small shield for good measure when it hits the rock wall to my right.

“I know what you’re planning,” Chara hums. “Sans was getting a look at my SOUL, too. You think you can tear me pieces? Well...”

She sends out a flash of red light and I block it, sneering at the satisfaction on her face when I stumble back a bit. I change my shield into a sword when she suddenly disappears, making me jump with terror. She can teleport, too?

“If only I hadn’t gotten to you first,” she whispers in my ear before I’m thrown to the right and I hit the wall.

Before I can comprehend the pain, she’s bringing a dagger down towards me that I attempt to block, getting a clean slice from my hairline to right below the corner of my left eye.

In a panic, I send a pulse of magic at her chest and search for her SOUL, finding the outermost layer of that cloud of magic. Chara recoils, but not in time for me to send a biting attack into that layer, hoping and praying I can get a grip on it in some way.

She leaps back and snarls with rage, realizing something I’m not sure of as I lunge up to my feet. I swipe away the blood inching towards my eye and feel my eyebrows rise in shock at the sight of her.

Chara paws at her chest in a frenzy, as if she’s about to have a heart attack. As much as it baffles me to see  _ her  _ panicked, I can’t think about it. I take the opportunity to lunge for her when she pulls a knife out of her boot and slashes for my chest.

I duck just in time for her to only graze my right shoulder, and the sensation triggers my defense mechanisms. I am not losing my arm  _ again _ . 

I send a powerful globe of magic at her, similar to what killed her before, but she’s prepared this time and sends her own attack to counter. The impact of the collision throws me back towards the entrance, and the rough rock scrapes at my fingers as I try to slow myself down.

Both the explosion and the blood pouring down my face are enough to make me dizzy, but I still force myself to look up in search of her. It’s no surprise when Chara appears to have been unaffected by the attacks as she strides forward. Red wisps swirl around her fingers and she eyes me with murderous intent.

“You really  _ have  _ become more trouble than you’re worth. I suppose eliminating your family was a waste of time,” she hums as I push up to my feet. “Still… if I had the chance,” she smiles, “I would do it all over again.”

Of course she’d say that, but the carelessness in her voice, the utter  _ ease  _ in the idea of taking everything from me, it brings a new kind of focus to my magic.

I reach out with the intention of grabbing her SOUL and end up sending spikes into her from the ground. Chara faintly hisses with pain, but she hides any show of it as she sprints for me.

I create a shield and run to meet her, not feeling any fear as I don’t see my tormentor, merely a creature I need to defeat. She’s only a few feet away when I sense the magic under the path and I leap to the right, somersaulting away from her explosion of magic and twisting to meet the sword she brings down towards my head.

Those red eyes are only inches from mine as I stare into them, forcing down the terror that threatens to surface. They’re not as dark as the red I know, probably because she lost the Void. I should consider that a good thing, but the rage in them has multiplied, reminding me that she can be just as dangerous even without the extra power.

Chara’s magic begins to press into mine, infused with her anger and… something else. Even though I can hold my ground, she’ll cut through my defenses eventually. So I twist away and she falls forward, catching herself in a split second and swinging her sword to cut into my left arm. The blow is so powerful that I’m thrown back, and I lose my grip on my defenses. It happens so fast that I don’t realize what happens until I’m flat on my back in the golden flowers, seeing various images flash in my mind that don’t make sense.

I see my mom, a goat that looks somewhat like Asgore, flashes of white, yellow, cyan, and then… Chara’s towering over me.

“Of course  _ you’d  _ be allowed in. Keep in mind that it’s all out of pity,” she sneers before bringing her sword down to my face.

I can’t react fast enough as my arms uselessly reach to protect my face. I expect to feel her magic cut clean through my bones… but the blow never comes.

I open my eyes to see she’s nowhere in sight. Instead, I only see straight up to that circle of light miles above: the top of the mountain.

The sudden sound of Chara’s voice is enough to snap me out of my dazed thoughts before they truly begin to wander. I roll onto my knees and see more flashes of disorienting images, feeling them cling to my retinas as if they’re trying to make me understand something. But I can’t pay attention as I lunge up and stumble out of the flowers, immediately feeling a sense of clarity without their cloying scent.

“Now you betray the only family you have left? Oh, how could you be so stupid, little brother?” Chara muses from the other side of the cavern, and I spot her staring down Flowey.

Tears pour down his face as he keeps his vines lifted to attack, but I can tell there’s little sincerity in the threat.

“Chara, we don’t have to kill  _ everyone _ ,” Flowey says in a trembling voice, sounding more like Asriel than the sadistic flower I know. “What about the plan we had to free monsters?”

“Since you’re too stupid to understand after all these years, let me spell it out for you,” Chara replies as I begin to inch along the wall, hoping she doesn’t think to notice me. I have the advantage of attacking from behind, but with her ability to sense my SOUL, it doesn’t do much good.

I see a shadow move in the corner of my eye, and I suddenly remember that Gaster was a potential ally, too. Is he able to disguise my SOUL? It seems like it as I get closer and closer to a seemingly unaware Chara. Flowey cowers as she explains why her plans for the world are far more useful than the ones she had fabricated with Asriel. As I watch him, I’m not sure whether the flower is acting or if he’s genuinely hurt that his once-sister has ceased caring about what is possibly his only remaining desire.

I dismiss the thoughts as I near even closer, sensing her SOUL but refraining from doing anything until I find its core. It must be where she’s keeping her power over the timeline. After all, wouldn’t that be the strength she’d protect the most?

When I’m so close that I can tackle her to the ground, I throw all the magic I have towards her SOUL, intending to break down its layers until I reach the center.

Chara whips around and responds with an overwhelming force of panicked red magic that throws me back into the rock wall. My head smacks against it and stars burst in my vision, turning everything black with only prickles of white. But I can still sense her SOUL, and I reach out to grab it, meeting another painful attack that sends flashes of red into my failing vision.

“So this is what you’ve chosen, Asriel?” I hear Chara in the distance. “I hope, for your sake, that you’re prepared to regret it. Unless… you could repay me-”

A force of magic suddenly throws me from my knees onto my side, and I wonder if I black out for a few seconds when my eyes snap open.

The cavern is empty of SOULs, but the amount of sunlight is still the same which means it hasn’t been long.

I push myself up and immediately regret it when little dots swim in my vision in various bursting colors. I’m at least able to lean against the wall, but when my head lightly touches it, I feel a fresh wave of pain.

I flinch and jerk forward, reaching back to search through my messy hair to find the wound. It doesn’t take long when I feel the blood, fresh and warm as it trickles down to the scars at the top of my neck.

All the aches and pains begin to reveal themselves as the rush of fear and adrenaline wear off. There’s the cut near my eye that’s just beginning to dry, the slight stab on my right shoulder, and worst of all, a deep gash in my left arm that I can’t feel very well. I could call that a good sign if it wasn’t bleeding so heavily. My green coat is completely ruined with all the blood and rock residue covering it from getting thrown around so much. Not to mention the various cuts Chara managed to get into it without me noticing.

It could be worse considering… I instinctively leap up to my feet in a panic when a shadow appears in my peripheral. The action causes more stars to burst, but at least I’m able to stand up.

“Calm down,” Gaster mutters and I pick up on the fact that he’s speaking in Wingdings now. I guess he only used Mono before as a consideration to Flowey.

I press my right hand against the rock wall to steady myself and look at him, forcing the spots out of my eyes. “Where is she?”

“Gone.”

“Did she teleport?”

“No, you were able to take that away from her.”

I just barely raise my right eyebrow. “Then where did she go?”

“With your frenzied assistance and a bit of acquiescence on her part, I was able to kill her for this timeline since she did not Save.”

“Why would she allow that?”

“It seems you are not the only SOUL she desires to torment,” Gaster says with utter calm in his voice.

His words make me look around for Flowey, and I realize what he means. Chara dying gives Flowey time to think about this, and I’m pretty sure she’ll make certain he remembers the timelines from here on out. If he already vaguely remembers on his own, I doubt it would take much effort for her to force him to know it all.

“Is it possible that her SOUL is destroying itself?” I suddenly ask, realizing that she could kill herself if her magic is crumbling so quickly.

“Unlikely. You are merely eliminating the perks of an overpowered SOUL, but in the end, she will still possess what Frisk had. It will be the one factor keeping her alive.”

Of course it wouldn’t be easy… but hopefully allowing herself to die means she feels the need to lick her wounds and rethink her strategy.

“Good to know,” I conclude, figuring he’s done with helping me now. Considering what he did, I would define that as enough.

I straighten and walk around him, heading back to the Ruins. Every step sends another pounding wave through my head, but I remain as stoic as possible as I walk out of the sunlight.

“You’ll never make it back in your condition,” Gaster suddenly says, his voice sending a piercing pain through my ears.

“Probably not,” I concur, continuing forward when he suddenly appears in front of me. I flinch back on instinct, but I realize it’s not out of fear. Even though he’s so much taller than me and shadows cling to his cloak like a haze of fog, I don’t see him as a creature more powerful than me. If anything, we’re close to being equals now, but that doesn’t mean I have to listen to him. “ _ What _ ?”

“If the concussion won’t be enough to stop you, the blood loss will,” he says with the perfect calm of an emotionless, professional doctor. How nice to see his bedside manner hasn’t changed.

“Why do you care? You killed Chara, thank you. Now, isn’t that enough?”

He just barely smirks, “So you are refusing my help out of spite?”

“She’ll probably Reset in a few minutes anyway, so why does any of this matter to you?”

He just slightly shifts his gaze to reveal the calculating stare of the scientist I know all-too well. The sight makes me want to attack  _ him _ , now. “Oh, I see,” I snarl, feeling so much anger rise up that I’m not even sure my head can take it. “I’m still an experiment to you. Everything you’ve done is merely out of curiosity, to see if your  _ subject  _ has improved. You don’t care about any of this; you’re just fascinated by the fact that I’m still alive and you want to keep me around to feel you’ve made some success with your existence. If I win against Chara, then you’re pathetic, broken little Perseverant was finally put to good use. Is that it?”

“That is probably enough,” is all he says in response before disappearing.

My hands clench into fists and I feel my remaining magic curl around my fingers. Even after all this time, I still haven’t changed in his eyes. Everything was just part of the experiment, another way to mess with my head and control me.

The emotions make me shake so much that I have to take a few steps back into the cavern and lean against the wall. I try to force myself to breathe, but blood keeps sliding down the back of my neck and causes my panic to rise. What if he’s right? What if I’ll die right here from the blood loss?

I look around for anything I could use to help me since there’s no way I could make it back to the house on my own. But there’s nothing but rock and that patch of golden flowers. 

Wait… didn’t Asgore say they had some slight healing properties? Or am I making up the thought out of desperation? Regardless, there’s a chance they  _ could  _ be of some use as long as I try.

I walk over to the flowers, suspecting nothing of them when I crouch down to touch the petals of one near the center. It makes me realize that I probably do have a concussion when those images flash through my head again. How could I have forgotten them? 

The difference this time is that I feel them gleefully take hold of me, as if they know I’m injured and want to drag me down while I’m defenseless. I can’t fight that pull as my head pounds even more and my sight leaves me.

***

White light is all that surrounds me when my eyes adjust, so unbearably tired that I know I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in an unhealthy amount of time. I try to reach for my magic out of fear that this is some trick from Chara, but there’s not even a wisp of strength available.

_ What happened before this? _

“Oh, my dear, it is so nice to finally meet you,” a soft voice says behind me and I turn to see the goat that looks somewhat like Asgore. He’s about the same height with white fur and honey-gold eyes. But his hair and beard are more of a dirty blond than Asgore’s bright yellow. He wears an outfit similar to Asgore’s with the golden shoulder guards, gray armor, and the Delta Rune emblem. The biggest differences are that his cape is green instead of purple, and his crown is large enough that I immediately recognize his title. Is this… Asgore’s father?

“King Ezgren?” I ask.

He laughs, “Please, dear, there’s no need for titles.”

“But you  _ are  _ Asgore’s father… right?” I ask, wondering if I’m assuming too much.

“Yes, you’re very perceptive.”

I just barely raise an eyebrow in response.  _ Some  _ people would beg the differ.

“Why am I here?” I resort to saying.

“Since you refuse to believe your brothers’ words, we figured there’s only one person who can convince you of your worth.”

A faint laugh sputters out of my throat as I try to comprehend his words. “What?”

Ezgren holds his hand out and several monsters appear behind him, some of them catching me off guard enough that I wonder if I’m hallucinating all this. There’s a spider that looks like she could be Muffet’s sister, a monster that seems like a white and yellow recolor of Gregan, and above all, there’s a skeleton with yellow eyes that looks like a cross between Papyrus and Roman. Were they real, living monsters at one point? Or is this all a fabrication of my damaged mind?

“We make up what you define as the ‘magic of the Underground.’ We are the Echo Flowers, the golden flowers, and the little hints of magic that keep the Void from ensnaring monsters in a world of eternal emptiness. Have we failed to keep everyone safe? Yes, but we are part of the reason why the Underground is not as miserable as Xanvalus wanted it to be. I created this haven before he killed me, and it has become a home for the SOULs who are not yet finished. Once the Barrier is destroyed, we will finally move on, but for all these years, we have been the guardians.”

I squint, unsure if I should be buying all this. “So… what does this have to do with me?”

Ezgren nods to something behind me and I turn, immediately feeling pain like a stab to the heart when I see my mother.

Now I  _ definitely  _ don’t know if I should trust this. For all I know this could be a dream or I could be dead. Hell, I could be in a  _ session _ . The thought makes fear shiver over my shoulders. What if… what if  _ everything  _ has been part of one big session? What if I never left that lab? What if nothing has been real ever since I jumped into the mountain?

Tears prick in my eyes at the overwhelming realization: it  _ could  _ make sense.

“Oh, baby girl, no,” my mom whispers, reaching for me when I step back. The memory of the session I saw her in flashes before my eyes, making me fear she’s going to smash my head into the ground.

I’m suddenly unsure of what’s real. Maybe  _ nothing  _ has been. Have I even  _ lived _ ? What if I’m not what I think I am? What if… what if…

I press my hands against my face in an attempt to stifle a sob, only slightly self-conscious of the fact that there are several people in this room. But when I pull them away, I see I’m now in my room back home on the Surface.

Wasn’t the house destroyed? Or was that another hallucination?

Dim evening light shines through the window, and I see a steady snowfall disrupting the view of my pear tree outside. I feel the warmth of a fire behind me, and I finally notice my mom sitting on the bed with her feet tucked under her.

She reaches out a hand and gives me a smile I love more than all the others. It’s the kind of smile that holds so much love, so much adoration, that no one else can give it to me but her.

The back of my mind warns me to be cautious, but then I have to wonder. What do I have to lose?

I walk forward and crawl onto the bed, suddenly feeling like I’m five again when she wraps her arms around me.

I instinctively hug her back and feel the pain of missing her all over again.  _ That  _ feels real… which means she’s dead. In turn, that means this shouldn’t be happening.

“Krista,” she whispers, her voice sending a splinter through my heart. “I know you’re hurting and confused, but tell me what’s bothering you the most.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I whisper, feeling the tears return, and this time, they finally fall.

“I wouldn’t have asked if it didn’t matter,” she responds, stroking my hair and making this hurt all the more.

“If what he said is true, then how are you here?” I ask, avoiding her question.

She makes a single breath of a laugh. “Well, you know how my life ended.” The admission makes me hold onto her tighter, as if it can erase the truth. “Because it was so unfair, I was given the chance to offer a piece of myself to the Underground magic.”

“What about the valley?” I ask before realizing there’s no way she could know about that place I saw my family in.

“My SOUL is there, but some of my magic remains in the Underground. Even though I couldn’t do anything, there was no way I could leave you girls entirely. Krista… it hurts me more than anything to know what you’ve been through, and I want to help you now that we have this piece of time. So please, tell me what’s been hurting you the most.”

I can’t help it. Maybe it’s how real this feels; maybe it’s just the fact that it  _ is  _ my mother that the truth comes pouring out.

“I’m not good enough,” I whisper. “I couldn’t save the monsters. I couldn’t save my brothers or help Dad. I couldn’t… the only person I ever needed protect… and  _ Mable  _ had to pay for that. No matter how much I try, someone always gets hurt. It’s why I  _ deserved  _ that month, and even that was not enough. I can’t… I can’t keep living with it, Mom. I don’t see an end; I don’t have hope to find a life beyond this. All I want now is to just get rid of her; that’s the only thing that matters.  _ I don’t matter _ . If defeating her means I have to shred apart every ounce of who I am, I’ll do it, but  _ please _ , please tell me there’s an  _ end _ .”

I look up at her through my blur of tears to see she’s crying, too, and it makes me wonder if I said too much. I should have kept it to myself; the truth just makes me a burden she can’t leave even after death.

“Oh, my precious Krista,” she whispers, brushing my messy hair away from my eyes. “You matter more than you could ever imagine, and you deserve all the happiness in the world. You’ve traveled such a long road, and yes, there’s a little more to go. But I  _ promise  _ you that there is an end, and you don’t have to destroy yourself to reach it. I know it feels impossible to hope, but there  _ is  _ a future beyond this. What you need to remember is that you can’t do it alone. I know you want to protect them, but they want to protect you just as much. Trust in their strengths and don’t doubt your own. You  _ can  _ win, baby girl, just not all by yourself.”

For some reason, her words are exactly what I needed to hear, and no one else could have given them to me but her.

I feel a sudden tug that I know will take me away from here, but I’m not ready to go as I cling to her. “I miss you  _ so  _ much,” I whimper. “I wish you were still with me.”

“I always am, Krista. You carry me and your dad and your sister everywhere you go. And I know it’s hard to remember that, but whenever it seems impossible to hope,” she taps my locket and then a spot above my heart, “think about all the good days.”

I feel more tears fall, but these are from the shame of forgetting so much, for forgetting  _ them _ .

Mom brushes away the fresh tears and kisses my forehead with a gentleness that promises everything will be alright. When she pulls back, she tucks a hand under my chin and locks her purple eyes onto mine. “And Krista, don’t you  _ ever  _ believe you deserve the pain. If there is anything I want you to remember the most, it is that single truth.”

I can only nod as I feel that pull strengthen, and I give her one last hug before that force tears me away from her.


	27. A Different Kind Of Low

My vision fades in and out through a blur of yellow and gray, fighting to focus on the world beyond. My head pounds with agonizing pain, and a little bite of fear cuts into me when I wonder where I am. The thought makes me force my eyes to open and  _ focus  _ before something else inevitably hurts me while I’m defenseless. 

The sight of Sans staring down at me with green magic swirling around his hands makes me jump. He wasn’t supposed to see me like this. I wasn’t supposed to ever see him again, yet here we are.

“Sans? When did you get here?” I ask in a scratchy voice.

He sighs, “For the fourth time, I got here as fast as I could.”

Then he looks back at whatever he’s using his magic on and I try to sit up, curious as to what it is.

“No, no, stay still,” he hisses, gently, but firmly pushing my shoulder back down.

“What happened?” I ask numbly, unsure what exactly led to this.

He lightly scoffs, ”You should be happy you’re injured so badly or else I’d be yelling at you right now.”

“What did I do wrong this time?”

His eyes snap onto mine, cold and…  _ angry _ . “Oh, you messed up big time, but we’ll leave that discussion for when you’re not half-dead.”

“Did I die?”

“Almost. The only thing that probably saved you was pure adrenaline considering how angry you were. He said it had a strong connection to your survival instincts.”

“Who?”

Sans rolls his eyes, “Just stop talking until you can think clearly; I’m not going to have this same conversation that you’re just going to forget.”

He looks back at whatever he’s working on, and I feel guilt tighten my throat. I must have done something  _ real  _ bad if he’s this angry. Terror makes me tense when I think of the possibilities.

“Did I get Papyrus killed?”

“What?” Sans nearly yells. “No, just… shush.”

I bite my lip when a searing pain rips through my left arm, and I jerk it away from wherever it was to protect it with my right hand.

“Sorry,” he hisses,  _ almost  _ sounding truly apologetic. “She cut you pretty deep.”

“Wait,” I say as the memories come back in sharp, fragmented pieces. They make me realize where I am, and I lunge up to a sitting position, seeing stars explode like fireworks.

“Easy,” Sans warns as I rest my head in my hands, barely able to recover from that brief action.

“How did you know where to find me?” I ask, still unsure of where we are exactly. I slightly lift my gaze to see we’re in the cavern, but the sunlight is even brighter, probably around noontime.

“I had an unfortunate encounter with someone I never wanted to see again,” he shrugs, but I can sense the anger simmering in his SOUL.

“Gaster?”

Sans breaks eye contact and leans forward to look at the back of my head. “If you’re forming coherent thoughts, then I guess you’re in better shape.”

“Sans, what happened?”

He stands up and offers me his left hand. “Like I said, we’ll talk about it later when you feel better.”

“Why can’t we now?”

“Because you have a concussion and I’m mad at you,” he admits, not even trying to hide the frustration in his tone.

“So? Yell at me; I don’t care,” I argue, hating how much restraint he has when he clearly needs to express his anger. I probably deserve to be yelled at anyway.

He scoffs, “What’s the point when it’s impossible to get the message into your stubborn brain? Besides, you’ll just forget it all soon.”

“Really?”

_ What makes him think that? _

Something flickers in his eyes, “Do you understand what a  _ concussion  _ is? I had to explain to you when I got here  _ four times _ and only now you’re remembering. So no, we’re not going to discuss anything. We’re going home and that’s it.”

I numbly stand up and darkness inches forward in my peripheral vision, making me fear this is all an illusion. 

In a blink, we’re near the doors to leave the Ruins, and Sans gestures for me to walk forward. “There’s still a magic force that I can’t shortcut through. I was only able to get here because of some trick he used with the Void. All you need to do is walk three steps, and I’ll shortcut us the rest of the way.”

“Okay, I’m not stupid,” I say, annoyed with his seemingly condescending tone.

“Well you  _ make  _ stupid decisions,” he mumbles bitterly as I step into Snowdin.

I breathe in the cold air and turn to him, fed up with the attitude. “Well you didn’t  _ have to _ come get me.”

“Oh sure, and then you’d die from blood loss, and I’d drive myself crazy with guilt for the rest of the timeline.”

“What’s there to be guilty about when I was the idiot who put myself in that situation?”

“God, Krista, do we have to go over this  _ again _ ?”

“No, because it’s clear our points of view won’t change,” I conclude, turning to walk down the path.

My head hurts  _ so  _ much, and my arm is throbbing, too, but like Chara said, I’m a stubborn bitch. If I have to walk all the way home like this just to prove that I can manage and accept my injuries, then fine.

“There is no way you’re going to get home like that,” Sans says cynically.

“Probably not, but it’s not like I haven’t died in the snow before,” I say as if death is a regular occurrence… it pretty much is by now.

Sans suddenly appears in front of me and shoves me back as the scenery changes. The main room is dim and silent without a trace of Papyrus or Cody in the house.

“Whatever point you’re trying to prove is not translating,” I say as each word sends a painful pulse through my temples. I’d love to lie down, but I doubt there’s any chance that he’ll let me sleep.

“As much as I want to, I can’t convince you anyway,” he scoffs, turning away from me and heading for the front door as if he can’t care less. “Go get yourself cleaned up, you’re covered in blood.”

I look down at my shirt and see what he means. The light blue fabric is stained with blood at varying degrees of dryness, and my coat is torn in several spots with an equal amount of the red filth marring it. 

I hear the door slam shut, and I jump from the piercing sound. I walk over to the couch and see him heading out towards the blizzard, probably to Hotland, I guess. Even though the abandonment hurts, I understand why he’s doing it. If I trick myself, I’m sure I can believe he’s giving me space rather than refraining from yelling at me. But I keep the truth in mind as I turn and head for the attic door. I got what I deserved, and I will own up to it.

_ Deserve _ . The word stops me as I step into the stairwell. Isn’t there something I should remember about that?

I try to conjure the images, but I can’t see anything as I try to simply  _ focus  _ on the present. I’m injured, and I need to get this blood off me. But… how exactly did this happen?

My hands clench into fists and I squeeze my eyes shut as I take a deep breath.

_ Just get upstairs. _

I take it slow as the world suddenly seems to tilt, but I fortunately stay upright as I make it into the attic room.

I shrug off my coat and place it on top of the dryer, keeping a hand on it for balance as I proceed to get my boots off. The room tilts even more as my balance is disrupted, but at least I stay on my feet. Then I turn to the bathroom to see the damage, immediately cringing when I flip the light on above the sink.

The brightness makes my head pound even more, and I squeeze my eyes shut as I lean against the sink. The pain becomes too much and I drop to my knees, resting my forehead against my hands.

_ Deep breaths. Focus. _

I slowly open my eyes and lift my head to see my hands are  _ covered  _ in blood, especially my left one. It’s then that I realize the pain in my left arm, and I gingerly extend it to see the damage. My entire sleeve is brown-red with a clean slash from the top of my wrist to the middle of my forearm. Blood still trickles from it, but I can tell the wound isn’t as deep as it was.

I push myself up to my feet to further inspect the damage on my shirt when my face stops me. The cut from my hairline to the corner of my left eye is still there, leaving a clean trail of blood all the way down my chin to my collarbone.

The image reminds me of the damage to the back of my head, and I cautiously reach back to touch it. I find the spot immediately, as my hair is so matted with blood and knots that I have no idea how I’m going to clean it up. The blood is mostly dry, but what does the injury look like? How much did Sans heal? He must have healed me to some degree considering how well I’m able to function. But what if he only did the bare minimum out of spite? I wouldn’t blame him, but that just makes this trickier.

I look back up at the mirror and notice one last injury: the cut on my right shoulder. Based on the blood, it’s the least damaging injury, with only so much that there’s a tight circle staining the shirt. That’s good considering how much my shoulder has been through recently.

I reach behind me and shut the bathroom door… feeling some faint, dumb hope that wants him to come back and check on me. But he won’t… he  _ shouldn’t _ .

I pull off my ruined blue shirt and drop it on the tile, feeling some of the fabric stick to me from the dried blood. With my arms bare, I can get a better look at them, and the sight throws me off with the absence of my Death Vow. I’ve been used to it for so long that it’s strange to see only the white scar on my right arm. I know I should be happy it’s gone, but it honestly feels like one more piece of myself has been taken away. Maybe it’s because of how much that death impacted me. Of all the ways I’ve died, getting eaten is a feeling I think I want to remember the least.

I turn to attempt a look at the back of my head, and the strain on my eyes pierces my temples with pain. But I still look as I pull my hair over my shoulder. I see the long trail of blood that snuck down my neck with specks of it even getting as low as underneath my cami’s straps. The path it makes around my hideous scars makes my throat tighten, another reminder that there’s no limit to the amount of damage that can be done to me.

I turn away and open the shower door to turn it on, placing the water at a fairly warm temperature. I can already imagine the pain when it will hit my injuries, but what other choice do I have?

A minute later, I step under the water face-first and feel the sting on my forehead. Then there’s the burning on my shoulder, then my arm, and… the back of my  _ head _ .

I sway and press a hand against the wall to my right, feeling so much pain and pounding in my head that spots dot my blurring vision. Nausea begins to creep into the mix and I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping and praying I can fight it back. But the collection of pain leaves me helpless as I drop to my knees and bile scalds my throat.

My mouth hangs open as I try to breathe, but the burning in my throat and the water pouring down begin to suffocate me. I start to hyperventilate as the heat combined with the disgusting taste tighten their grip around my windpipe.

_ Breathe. _

I can’t breathe. I can’t see. All I feel is the pain and the suffocation. The warmth of the water on my back isn’t enough to deter my panic. The pounding on the back of my head hurts so much, and it feels like the room is a spinning ride I can’t get off.

More bile burns my throat and I spit it into the drain, shaking and trembling as my stomach convulses to get rid of more. I can’t stop it as I empty my stomach of the little that’s in it, knowing there was next to nothing to begin with. Tears pour down my face and mix with the water rushing from the showerhead, keeping the salty taste away from my lips. At this point, I think I’d welcome the taste of blood and tears over the noxious, acrid bite that makes me want to rip out my own throat.

When I can’t cough up anymore, I collapse on my side as the water continues to pound into my body. Everything just hurts so much, and after all that, I’m  _ exhausted  _ once again.

A word comes to mind as I remind myself of how vulnerable I currently am:  _ pathetic _ . This is a different kind of low from being tortured by Chara. This is a weakness of my own making. The memories suddenly rush back, as if to aid in finding all the reasons for why I’m a worthless creature.

I went to fight her on my own, and of course, I lost. Improved magic means nothing; she’ll always be ready to counter my pitiful attempts. This is the consequence, a literal depiction of what I’ve always been. Helpless. Suffering. Meaningless. Weak.

I’ve never felt so exposed yet so alone at the same time. It feels like everything has turned against me, and I’m stuck in my dark little chamber, hidden from the world. Is  _ this  _ what I’ve always deserved? Was Chara always trying to push me to hit  _ this  _ kind of low? The thought makes me feel even more stupid considering I walked right into the situation that led me here. Now my closest ally in these timelines has left me… and for good reason.

Perhaps… I’m  _ meant  _ to stay here forever. Being tortured by Chara was probably the greatest gift she ever gave me considering I deserved  _ this  _ instead. I was always meant to destroy myself; she was just the only one smart enough to push me to this point. It means that everything and everyone else was the collateral damage to make me, the lowest creature to ever live, finally realize what I deserve.

My parents, my sister, Lily, all the lives that have ended as a result of my existence shows even more how undeserving I am. The thought of my sister brings the tears back in painful stings. She was the  _ exact  _ opposite of me; no one deserved a happy, beautiful life more than her. I guess that’s what Chara has been trying to teach me all this time: that everything good must be destroyed in order to make the undeserving creatures understand their place in the world. I needed to see and understand that beauty before she could put me where I belong.

That entire month of torture dragged me down enough to finally become  _ this _ … the creature that I am lying under a stream of water that turned frigid long ago. I realize I’m shivering as it pounds against my bare skin, gliding over my scars and cutting into my injuries. This is  _ deserved _ .

The word sparks something in my mind again, and I struggle to understand what it is when I suddenly see my mom’s face. I hear her words. I feel her fingers stroking my hair with so much gentleness… so much  _ love _ .

_ Deserve _ . It’s such a strong word, and one that I think… I’ve misinterpreted all these years.

I slowly lift my head as I hear her words again and again. _ “And Krista, don’t you ever believe you deserve the pain. If there is anything I want you to remember the most, it is that single truth.” _

That’s…  _ right _ . I have a name. I have a home. I have a  _ family _ . 

I am not a creature. I am a  _ Perseverant _ , and I’ve definitely done a horrible job at staying true to that.

Despite all that happened, I survived, and it’s not to suffer more. How many times do I need to remind myself of this? Why is it so difficult to see my worth?

I press my hands into the ground and push myself up to my knees, feeling the pain in my head spike as if it’s trying to stop me.

Mom loved me beyond words, beyond the comprehension of anyone who doesn’t know how it feels to be loved like that. There’s a difference between deserving something because of what you’ve done and what you  _ are _ . I’ve always thought that everything that’s happened is simply because of what I am. But that’s not true. And I haven’t done anything that equates to this kind of pain either, which means… it is  _ undeserved _ .

What am I? A human, a Perseverant, a daughter, a sister, a  _ survivor _ . Not a creature or a pet. Not an experiment or a nobody.

Human, monster, creature, existing as any of those does not mean a being deserves what I’ve been through. All that Chara has ever done to me… is not my fault.

The phrase makes something pierce in my heart, like admitting the truth to a lie I’ve held dear to for so long.

None of it has been my fault, and I’m only just believing that  _ truth  _ now.

I shakily stand up and turn the water off, immediately feeling the warmth of the air in the absence of the frigid chill. I’m technically not clean. My hair is still matted and there’s no fresh scent of soap. But I feel cleaner than I’ve been in years. I’m finally free from that heavy weight of guilt that everything has always been my fault. 

Mable didn’t die because of my failure. My father didn’t change because I didn’t do enough to help with his grief. Chara didn’t win because I’m worthless.

Yes, I have still failed and deserved the blame in other instances, but the ones that have weighed on me the most, I can’t blame myself for them.

I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around myself, spotting dots of blood beginning to stain it where my left arm is pressed against the fabric. I guess I’ll need to take a trip to the dump later.

With the taste of bile still lingering in my throat, I immediately walk over to the sink and brush my teeth three times, spending about a minute with each round. Even when I’m done, the taste still faintly sits at the back of my throat, but at least everything else has a mask of mint on it.

Afterwards, I step out into the attic and find my black sweatshirt and dark blue pajama pants. If Undyne comes busting through the door, I’m not going to fake it in this timeline; I’m just going to be honest that I needed a day off. Plus, my head still hurts enough that I know I couldn’t leave the house even if I tried.

I get changed and end up putting on more layers than usual as the cold still clings to me. I put one of my thinner long-sleeve shirts over my cami before adding my sweatshirt. And for once, I put on those leggings I was given by one of the clerks at Blizzard Hype before my pajama pants. Then I slip on my normal thin socks and layer thick wool ones on top of them.

Maybe it’s because I felt so exposed… or maybe it’s just because I’m so cold that the layers make me feel much safer.

I bundle all my ruined clothes in the towel, including the sweatshirt that Iria burned a hole through, and shove it in a corner in the bathroom, deciding I’ll make the trip when I’m a little more healed. I leave my coat on the dryer. Even though it’s ruined, I can’t bring myself to get rid of it.

Not wanting to get blood on anything else that’s nice, I settle for sitting in the corner by the washer instead of going downstairs. It reminds me of my first night sleeping here when Gregan showed up boasting his threats.

The afternoon light slowly shifts as I lean against the wall, wondering how I’m going to face my brothers after today. Sans has every right to be angry with me… but what if this is enough that he’s finally had it with me? What if he doesn’t think I’m worth all this stress and effort? I’m not sure what I’d do if the boys said they never wanted to see me again, but at the same time, I would respect their wishes.

The thoughts of the possibilities nearly break my heart, but I still consider them before distracting myself with seemingly nicer concepts. I start with just observing the details of the room until my mind wanders to any topic I can think of as I try to stay awake. I remember hearing that people shouldn’t fall asleep if they have a concussion. Apparently unconsciousness can either cause brain damage or a possible coma. Or does it merely depend on a case-by-case basis? I’m not sure, but either way, I don’t want to risk it. Unfortunately, the calm silence of this room and the warmth of my clothes make it  _ so  _ tempting to lie down and close my eyes. Even though my cold and damp hair is able to send its chill through the layers, it’s not enough to deter my growing exhaustion.

I feel that tug numerous times, and I’m able to resist it… I think. When I feel the pull the strongest, I figure I can get away with closing my eyes. It’s okay to rest them… right?

But then I think I’m drifting off when I suddenly hear the door open and slam shut downstairs. 

I jump when I hear Sans’ frustrated call of, “Krista?”

I want to say something, but the effort to yell back seems so monumental that I can’t conjure my voice. Merely sitting up straighter already brings a steady pounding back into my temples.

I hear footsteps on the staircase and he opens the door to the attic, walking in and finding me in seconds.

“What have you been doing?” he asks in a dull tone.

I’m about to say something when tears prick in my eyes, understanding the loaded question before my conscious can. “I, um,” I say as the tears slip without my permission. “I did a lot of thinking, and… I’m really, really sorry.”

Sans raises an eye socket, but something like sadness glimmers in his eyes, as if he’s restraining himself from feeling emotions.

“It was wrong of me to go off on my own, and you… you’ve been so supportive when I’ve been such a mess. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you, and I’m sorry I can’t help you the way you’ve helped me. You’re just-”

My throat tightens to the point that it chokes me off, but I press on,  _ needing  _ to tell him. “You’re so encouraging and sweet, and you’ve stuck by me through all that’s happened. I can’t thank you enough, and I understand if you’ve finally reached your limit. If you’re sick of me, I get it. But know that I will always love you because… I really do see you as my brother. And if we go our separate ways, I hope you don’t hate me for that.”

“Krista,” he finally says, his voice now devoid of anger.

I can’t see him through my haze of tears, but I push on. “I’ve realized that Mable’s death wasn’t my fault. Nothing that’s happened because of Chara is my fault. I couldn’t see that until now. I  _ want  _ to hope for a future, but I’m afraid to put everyone else at risk for the sake of it. At the same time, though… I can’t win on my own.”

I rub my tears away and realize he’s now sitting in front of me, watching with unreadable eyes.

“I don’t- I don’t know what to do,” I admit.

Sans is quiet as he watches me, as if he sees something different in my SOUL and he’s trying to figure out how to approach a new Krista. I begin to fear what his response will be when he finally reaches forward and brushes away the tears on my left cheek. He sends healing magic that I only feel instead of see as it caresses my wound and heals my aching eyes.

When he drops his hand, some of the pain in my head decreases, and I just know that the injury near my eye is completely gone.

“How could you ever think that I would leave you?” he whispers before wrapping me in a hug. It’s the greatest comfort I could ever have at a time like this.

I hold him back and lean my head against his shoulder, realizing there hasn’t been a safer place than this since the last time my dad held me.

“Well… you seemed like you didn’t want to deal with my stupidity anymore,” I admit.

A single breath of a laugh escapes him. “Yes, I was mad, but  _ nothing  _ is ever going to make me want to abandon you.”

His words make my tears fall even faster as I finally understand just how much he loves me.

His hand suddenly reaches up to touch the back of my head, and I feel it jerk back in alarm, making me fear my magic did something without my permission.

“What?” I ask in a sudden panic, pulling away.

“Your head is still bleeding,” he says, showing me the blood on his hand. “Here, turn around.”

I obey and feel him pull apart the knots to see my injury, lightly hissing when I assume he sees the damage. “I worked on a lot of the internal damage, but I didn’t realize I ignored the outside so much,” he whispers. “I should have healed you more earlier.”

“It’s okay,” I respond, closing my eyes when I feel him gradually take away the pain.

“Let me guess, it hurt so much that you weren’t able to take a proper shower.”

“It was something along those lines,” I murmur, suddenly feeling that pull of exhaustion even more as the pain is soothed.

He places a hand on my right shoulder and begins to heal it, too. “Krista… did you see something in the time between Chara dying and when you started to remember I was there?”

“Yeah… why?” I respond.

“Well, when you first woke up, you called for your mom.”

My eyes snap open in surprise, unsure whether or not I should be embarrassed about that. Since there’s no way of hiding it, I slightly nod as he finishes healing my head, and I turn around to let him work on my arm. “It was… weird. I saw Asgore’s father and a few other monsters when I touched those golden flowers. He said they existed as the magic of the Underground, kind of like a guardian to keep the Void in check. Then he said there was only one person who could convince me of my worth since I guess he understood what led me to seeking out Chara alone.”

Sans raises an eye socket and I duck my head in shame, hesitantly explaining why I made such a stupid decision.

“Then I saw my mom and it was suddenly just her and I in my room back home. She told me pretty much everything you’ve been telling me, but I guess it’s because it was  _ her  _ that I finally believed those words.”

Sans slightly smirks and I bite my lip. “It’s not that I’ve thought you’ve been lying to me, you haven’t. It’s just… I don’t know. There are some things that can only be said by certain people to make me believe them.”

He finishes healing me and leans back. “I get it. There are things Papyrus told me in the lab that I couldn’t believe until you told me them, too. I’m just happy that  _ someone  _ was able to convince you.”

I just barely smile at his nearly teasing words.

“What I’m wondering is how she’s linked to the Underground magic.”

The invitation to explain makes me go through it all, including as far back as what happened with Iria. Our deal to be honest with each other has never felt more important, especially with my most recent stunt of stupidity in mind.

“Now your turn, did Gaster seriously tell you where I was?” I ask when I’m finished explaining everything I can think of.

“Yeah. I woke up and he appeared in the corner of my room. Before I could say anything, he said where you were and that he made you angry enough that you would probably be alive by the time I got there. Then he disappeared and when I got to the Ruins doors, there was some kind of black portal to get past the magic surrounding it. When I found you… I seriously thought you were dead from how much blood there was. But I got you healed enough to wake up and… I don’t know, I lost my temper when you kept forgetting. I knew you weren’t faking it, but some part of me was so mad that I made myself believe you had left because you didn’t care. I try to help you cope with your pain as much as I can, but everything I’ve done has never seemed to work. It made me want to give up then and there… which is why I’m sorry I left you in so much pain.”

“It’s okay, I think it might have actually made me realize what I needed to remember,” I admit.

“And that is?”

I give him a faint smile, “That my life does matter, and not everything has been my fault.”

“Does that mean we’re finally going to work together to end our Chara problem?”

“It does indeed,” I nod with all the sincerity in the world.

“I think our plan might actually work then, now that we know how your magic reacts to the Barrier.”

“And it helps that she’s losing her powers.”

“Really?”

“Well, she won’t lose her power to Reset, but other ones that she had before seem to be slipping away. Speaking of which, you didn’t tell me she could teleport.”

Sans winces, “Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Although, it doesn’t matter now since Gaster said I took it away when I hit her pretty hard.”

“Was that before or after he infuriated you?”

“Before,” I shake my head. “He still knows all the sore spots to hit to piss me off. I never would have thought he was doing it to keep me alive.”

“At least it proves he hasn’t lied about helping us… yet.”

“Hopefully that ‘yet’ will never be fulfilled,” I conclude, shifting to stand up. 

I expect to sway a little, but I’m perfectly fine as I get to my feet. “I hope you didn’t have to use too much magic to heal me.”

Sans shrugs as he gets up, too. “It’s probably the most I’ve done at once, but my magic doesn’t feel too depleted.”

“Do you think it’s gotten stronger from the timelines?”

“I really can’t tell the difference, but it could be possible.”

The front door suddenly slams shut downstairs and I jump, fearing it’s someone here to hurt us for a split second when I hear Papyrus and Undyne’s voices.

“Go get a real shower now that you’re not hurting so much. I promise I’ll save you some pasta,” Sans winks, heading for the door.

I squint a bit, “Are you implying I smell bad?”

He shakes his head, “Of  _ course not _ . I just don’t find the scent of blood very appealing. So please, praline and pear or lavender and jasmine will do just fine.”

I roll my eyes as he expertly calls out the scents of the soaps I favor and walk to the bathroom as he heads downstairs.

We’ll be able to get through this, won’t we? I just can’t screw up again and maybe we’ll have a real chance. But what’s more important is that I can’t let Chara push me down so far ever again. If I really think about it, I’m sick of the self-loathing. I can’t fix who I am or what has happened, but I  _ can  _ change my attitude towards the future. And that is probably a force even stronger than my magic to let us see the Surface once again.


	28. If Only He Remembered...

When I make it downstairs twenty minutes later, all cleaned up in a purple sweatshirt and jeans with my hair in a wet braid, Undyne immediately corners me with a pointed finger.

“Where have _you_ been today?” she demands in only a slightly serious voice.

“I had one of those twenty-four hour fevers,” I casually reason.

“There’s no such thing,” she squints, placing the back of her hand on my forehead.

“Maybe not for you guys, but you’ll be surprised how quick my body temperature can get either too hot or too cold out of nowhere.”

“You humans are weird,” Undyne concludes, pulling her hand away. “Honestly, you really do look like you’ve been on the verge of death all day.”

Sans gives her an odd look from behind her back at those words, as if she hit a sore spot of his that he’s been trying to ignore.

“That’s what it felt like,” I respond, thankful that she won’t fight me for details to see if I was actually sick.

“Will you still be able to eat the fettuccine? Or do you want me to make something else instead?” Papyrus asks from the kitchen, genuinely concerned.

“I’ll just have a tiny portion, thanks,” I say, taking a seat at my usual spot at the table but with my back against the wall so I have a view of the whole room. Sans follows suit across the table and continues to work on his nearly empty bowl of pasta.

Undyne snorts and she leaps onto the couch as if it’s hers. With the remote in hand, she turns on the TV and starts flipping through channels. “I’d love to see your definition of a ‘tiny portion’ considering your puppy eats more than you do.”

I’m about to object when Cody suddenly leaps into my lap. I jump from the impact of his weight and thankfully catch him before he falls. It makes me realize I haven’t seen him since I made the stupid decision to leave, and he narrows a suspicious squint on me. I mouth the word “ _sorry_ ” to him as if it can make up for my stupidity, and he merely nuzzles under my hand in demand for pets.

“Seriously,” Undyne continues, “I thought he was going to eat everything in Sapphire’s today.”

I look to Papyrus and he nods as he brings me a small bowl filled with noodles covered in white sauce. “I don’t think I can take Cody to work again. He’s much better suited with you.”

I smirk down at Cody as he sniffs my bowl. “Were you being a naughty puppy today?”

“I could say the same for you,” he says through his SOUL. “Where did you sneak off to this time, Mama?”

I’m suddenly _very_ happy that he isn’t able to broadcast his thoughts. Otherwise, I’d be thrown into another exhausting round of explaining myself to those who won’t remember anyway.

“Looks like tomorrow will be another Snowdin day for you,” I say as if he merely joked about something.

Cody squints again before jumping down and running over to leap onto Undyne’s lap.

“Oh, how did _I_ get such an honor?” Undyne smirks. “You’ve been hanging out with me all day.”

“Maybe he’s hoping you’ll take him home considering how many treats you gave him today,” Papyrus says, sitting next to her.

Undyne laughs, “Well, you gotta admit, that’s a face no one can resist loving.”

“ _Most_ of the time,” Sans chimes in.

Cody groans in annoyance as Undyne strokes his head, eventually landing on a channel about sword fighting. “Finally! It took long enough to find something good,” she says as if the search had lasted for hours. She motions for Sans to turn the lights off and he does, leaving only the glow of the action on screen to fill the room. He joins them on the couch and motions for me to follow, but I point to my food as an excuse.

It motivates me to turn my attention to the bowl of noodles, and I pick it up, examining the food as if it could be poisoned. Papyrus really did get me a small portion; it’s not even a full scoop. But something stops me as the scent reaches my nose and I realize what it is. After all that happened in the shower… I don’t think I can handle any food right now. Even though I know I’m hungry… I can’t bring myself to eat.

I gently place the bowl back on the table and slip off the chair, inching over to the front door before I know what I’m doing.

“Where are you going now?” Undyne asks, catching me as I get my second boot on.

“I’m uh, heading to Blizzard Hype; we’re out of popcorn kernels and I wanted to make some kettle corn,” I lie.

She smirks, “Alright, get me some sour candy while you’re there; we’ll call it even then for you missing work.”

“Sure thing,” I say before slipping out the door.

The Ceiling Stars seem to shine brighter than normal as their glow reflects off the crisp snow. It’s like they’re trying to cheer me up, but it’s so bitterly cold that I start shivering in seconds.

_Why did I feel the need to come out here?_

I wrap my arms around myself and turn left to walk to the back of the house, making it to where the pine tree branches begin to brush the siding before I drop to the ground. Sitting on the snow makes me shiver even more, but I feel just a tad more relaxed away from the presences of the people I love most.

It sounds terrible; I _feel_ terrible for preferring the isolation… but I don’t have to think much to understand why.

It’s guilt, obviously, guilt that I will have to involve them in this fight. Guilt that I’m not capable of ending it on my own and that they will have to pay their own prices to end a conflict that never involved them.

_But what else can I do?_

“Was it a lie you were going to follow-through on? Or were you just hoping we’d forget about you?” Papyrus asks to my right and I jump.

I look up to see him towering over me, wearing his favorite red boots and scarf, but his dark blue cotton pants and orange jacket seem to disrupt the triumphant look with something more mature. Even though he’s not wearing the bulky, bone-looking armor that he calls his “battle body,” (something he has almost always worn since Remember Day), at this moment, he looks much older without it.

“I was about to go over there; I just... needed a moment,” I try to reason.

“A moment away from us?” Papyrus raises an eye socket.

“That’s not what I mean; I just needed to cool off because of my fever,” I say, hating every word.

He quietly sighs, slight disappointment glimmering in his eyes. “I saw your jacket, Krista. I went up to get it for you since I knew, fever or not, you’d be cold out here.” 

I can’t help biting my lip even though it’s an obvious tell. _Damn it._

“Why do you keep so much from us?” my brother asks, his voice breaking. “Do you think we can’t handle it? Are you afraid it will make you a burden? We are a _family_ , which means we should trust each other without any fears or reservations about sharing our problems. But how come every time I turn around, either you or Sans are hiding something? And I don’t mean to be hurtful, but you seem to hide more than the rest of us combined. What is it, Krista? Why do you think we… _I_ can’t help you?”

His words make me shiver even more as my guilt threatens to choke me, and I look away. On the one hand, he wants to help me, but on the other, there’s the risk that he’ll die again because of me.

Before I can come up with a valid response, I feel Papyrus tap my shoulder, and I turn to see him hold his jacket out to me. His dark green sweater makes him look very mature, indeed.

“I _do_ want to tell you everything,” I whisper, taking his jacket despite how much I don’t want to. It’s a simple kindness I don’t deserve.

“Then how about we talk in Waterfall? It’s much warmer, and I know a good spot,” Papyrus says, holding out his gloved right hand to me.

I hesitantly take it and put on his jacket when I get to my feet, knowing he’d protest if I merely carried it. Unsurprisingly, it’s almost triple my size, feeling more like a blanket than a coat, but I’ll admit the warmth is a delicious relief.

We head for the blizzard and I glance back at the house, wondering how long this will take.

“Don’t worry, Undyne will be too focused on the show, and Sans is already falling asleep. They won’t know how much time will pass,” Papyrus reasons, calming the blizzard winds as we enter.

“Did Sans say anything to you before you left?” I cautiously ask.

“No, he merely gave me an understanding nod, like he knew we needed to talk. I’m guessing he’s all up to speed on how your day went?”

I duck my head, “Yeah.”

Papyrus nods, “At least you’re communicating with _one_ of us.”

“Papyrus-”

“We’re going to talk soon, but I want the full truth, not vague reasons that you might use to distract me. I want to know everything that’s bothering you and why you’ve been trying so hard to keep it a secret.”

I bite my lip as we clear Snowdin and enter Waterfall, a little stunned by his insistence. He deserves the truth, of course, but why would telling him matter when Chara will probably be back in a few hours? Then again, I can’t run from him, and if I really want to be honest… I wish he could remember. Papyrus not knowing always makes me feel like he’s an ostracized child that wouldn’t understand, but he most definitely can.

We walk down the long main hallway, over the pool of water with a bridge of my magic (which I fortunately make it look like the normal way he knows it), and through reeds until we make it to the area before the Wishing Room. I assume we’re traveling there when Papyrus suddenly grabs two of the water lily seeds in the center of the room and places it in a pool of water at the far right of the room. I stare at him in question as he merely grabs two others and sets them in the water. The first two disappear to the left, traveling off into the waters behind the wall, but the other two stay right next to land.

Papyrus merely waves me forward as he walks onto the flowers and disappears behind the wall. I follow him and see that the lilies make a bridge to a little dock that leads into a hidden room. I walk over them and into the room, amazed that I never knew about it. It’s small, with only a bench, an Echo Flower, and some gems sticking out of the walls, but the view from the bench is a sight to behold.

The cavern seems to open up and go on forever with its irregular ceiling of blue rock. Numerous conglomerated stones hang down like icicles, and a few waterfalls flow from the gaps between them like cracks in the night sky. But above all, the _stars_ are the true gems.

Some are gigantic rocks on their own, while others are no more than pinpricks I can barely see. Their colors are all over the place, but the most prominent ones are cyan, blue, white, and hints of purple. Their light seems to faintly pulse under the dimness of their nighttime setting, as if they’re leaning towards us in preparation to listen to a story.

The sight makes me forget why I came here in the first place, and I’m so distracted by the musical sounds of water on rock that Papyrus’ voice makes me jump. “Those rocks that look like icicles are called stalactites,” he says, and I turn to notice he’s already sitting on the bench.

“Where’d you learn that?” I ask, taking a seat.

“Undyne told me; she said learning the technical names of the geography of the Underground was part of her Royal Guard training. It’s why she explained it to me.”

His implication of how long ago he learned that makes me bite my lip. I’m only _now_ learning just how much knowledge he’s gained within the past few months on his own. It makes me feel all the more guilty about how much he doesn’t know of his own family.

“Where should I start?” I ask in a low voice.

“Whenever the something that’s bothering you began,” he says bluntly.

I place my left hand on my right shoulder without thinking as I begin, forcing myself to remain as honest as possible. No sugar-coating, and no leaving out details. _Everything_.

I explain the arguably easy events first: Frisk’s arrival, her journey to the Surface, everything we dealt with on the Surface. It starts to become difficult when I get to her Reset… and then all the timelines that led to that final one. I eventually cut myself off when I try to explain how he died, attempting to gloss over it when he gives me an insistent look.

“I don’t need a ‘nice’ version for protection; I need the truth,” he says gently, but with enough firmness that I know he wouldn’t appreciate anything other than the reality of what happened.

So I push on, quickly getting through the timeline until I reach Sans’ death. It’s a different explanation from Papyrus’ since he’s right here. Even though I _know_ Sans is fine, talking about his death when I’m not _certain_ he’s okay… it finally breaks me.

Papyrus would never judge, but I feel like I’ve failed him the most as I try to explain what it was like to see our brother die. My guilt comes back tenfold as I remember the image as clearly as if it’s in front of me. I was _right there_ , and I was too useless to save him.

A couple tears slip their ways down my cheeks, and I furiously swipe them away, feeling angry with myself all over again.

“You know that wasn’t your fault, right?” Papyrus softly asks and I look at him, realizing I haven’t been able to look at his face for most of my explanation.

I take a deep breath as I remember all I fought through just earlier today. “Yes,” I say softly, expecting to hate myself for the admission… but I don’t. We fought like hell, but that doesn’t guarantee a win.

“So… what happened then?” he asks, almost inaudible against the distant waterfalls.

The question makes me want to run and hide from events that have already happened, but I _force_ myself to continue, becoming _very_ aware of my every word.

“Frisk dragged me into the Throne Room, where she killed Flowey after he killed Asgore. That final gain of L.O.V.E summoned Chara, and she killed Frisk to take her SOUL.”

I look to Papyrus as he pieces together the implication, understanding all the factors that go with her possessing a real Determination SOUL.

“And then…” I can barely bring myself to say it, but I’m able to get it out in a whisper, “she tortured me for a month.”

Papyrus stares at me as if he doesn’t want to believe the truth, and I bite my lip as something pushes me to admit the details. After all, the _details_ are what make it real. He said he wanted the truth… here it is.

“She began with unfocused attacks, ones that hurt all over and quickly led to death. But then she started to get meticulous and focused on creating as much pain as possible from little things. Her favorite was shoving things under my fingernails, but she also went for my face.”

I admit it all with an even voice, but I feel myself shaking as the images come to mind, sharpening some of the memories that I was fortunate enough to block out for the brief time between then and now.

“Eventually… that became my entire existence. There was nothing but her and I, death and pain. I… I forgot who I was. I couldn’t think of anyone or anything beyond that room.”

I glance at my brother to see tears in his eyes, but I look away and focus on a tiny gem in the ground as I push through. “One day, she took me out of that room, and we went to the lab for a short period of time. She left me there to kill two of the Magic Whisperers before taking me to Hotland. There… she threw me into the lava more times than I’ll ever know; then she took me to Snowdin. We were in the woods by the frozen lake, and she…” I reach up with my right hand and run my fingers over the scars on the back of my neck, unable to form the words. I’m not sure if he understands my implication since I don’t see his face, but I continue nonetheless. “She also cut out my eye… cut off my right arm… and nearly drowned me. That was about it for that timeline.”

I feel him gently grab my left wrist and lift my hand from my shoulder, making me realize how much I was digging my fingers into my scars. I finally look at him and bite my lip, feeling a few more tears slip without my permission.

“You wanted the truth,” I say in a cracked voice, immediately regretting the statement since it’s so much like, ‘I told you so.’

“If I had a choice, I would’ve kept it from Sans, too,” I find myself admitting. “All I’ve ever wanted is to protect you two, and I’ve tried in any way to not be a burden. Maybe it’s guilt because I failed Mable, but it seems like I’m not strong enough to be a big sister for anyone. I just-”

He pulls me into a hug before I can get another word in, and I bury my head into his sweater to try to hide my sobs. He’s different from hugging Sans. Obviously, he’s taller so my head’s right at his chest instead of at eye level. But there’s also a different kind of warmth to him that I’ve never felt in Sans, something I can only describe as unshakeable hope.

“Surviving all of that does not make you weak in any way,” he says in a soft voice. “And just because you’re the oldest sibling doesn’t mean you should hide when you’re hurting. We all need each other, and no matter what it is, we should be honest when we need help. I can’t believe you’re still, well… _you_ after all of that.”

I pull away and rub my eyes, clearing the remaining tears. “I wish I could say that was entirely true, but a few things changed afterwards.”

I explain the rest of the timelines, going over my magic and even showing him the disappearance of my Death Vow. It brings me to today, and I painfully describe my stupid decision to leave on my own. I simply finish with telling him that Sans got me home, omitting my breakdown in the shower. As much as I love and trust my family, that’s something I don’t want anyone to ever know about. That point of weakness, that kind of _vulnerability_ … that’s something I will keep buried under my shame in the little corner of my heart reserved for self-hatred. But I can’t forget it either… because it made me realize that I am the _opposite_ of what I’ve desperately believed for so long.

“So… now that you know everything, what do you expect to do from here?” I ask, feeling so drained after going through it all. My second shower helped me wake up, but now I’m _really_ feeling the exhaustion I’ve been fighting all day.

“Well… we need to get Undyne her sour candy,” Papyrus says in an attempt at a light tone.

“Oh right,” I remember as I stand up and he follows. “Let’s go.”

Papyrus catches my arm before I can take off. “Thank you… for telling me. I didn’t realize _that_ much had happened; it makes me wish I could remember the timelines.”

I only hesitate for a second before the truth pours out of me. “On one hand, I wish you could, too. I feel like I’ve been ignoring you for years and treating you like a kid who wouldn’t understand. It’s not fair to you, but what’s the point in trying when you forget? However, on the other… I wouldn’t want you to remember all the pain. In every timeline, we’ve lost in some way, and I wouldn’t want you to carry that.”

Papyrus’ eyes glance at the distant waterfalls before looking back at me. “But if there was a way that I could remember, would you let me?”

“What?”

_Why would he ask something like that?_

Papyrus avoids my gaze again. “I don’t want to force anything, but since your magic has changed, do you think there’s a way you could use it to help me remember from here on?”

“I… I don’t know how I would be able to do that,” I admit.

“And I don’t expect you to know, but is there a way to at least test it?”

I squint a bit, “What do you mean?”

“Right before the next Reset, what if you used your magic to sort of... shield me?”

Even though he doesn’t sound sure of how it would work, I consider the idea; if I can feel the Reset coming… “I guess it’s worth a try, but are you _really_ sure you want to remember everything that might happen?”

The bone above his eyesockets furrows like brows. “Krista, I feel horrible that I haven’t been able to remember all that’s happened. If I was able to, maybe I could have made a difference in all those timelines.”

My throat tightens from his words. “Please don’t tell me you feel guilty; _none_ of what happened is your fault.” 

“I know it isn’t, but if there’s a way I can remember to help, then I want to,” he says definitively.

I bite my lip in hesitation, but I force myself to nod. Even though it will be my magic, it’s his choice, and if I can help him remember, then I am going to do all I can to ensure that.

He reads something in my expression and takes a step back, seemingly fearful. “Of course, if you can’t, I won’t hold it against you, and really, don’t hurt yourself in trying to make it work. I just-”

“Papyrus, it’s okay,” I interrupt. “I want you to remember, too. Sure, I’m not certain how I’ll be able to do it, and I’ll admit that I’m a little nervous how everything will play out in the next timeline. But I think having another person understand what’s going on will make it a little easier.”

He relaxes just a bit, “Okay, a long as you’re comfortable.”

“Of course,” I conclude, “Now let’s get that candy before Undyne comes stalking through the marshes.”

***

As Papyrus predicted, no one at the house notices how long we’ve been gone since we walk in to find only Undyne on the couch. When we give her the candy, she explains that Sans went up to his room after a quick nap, and Cody followed since she was “being too loud.”

“I don’t know what he was whining about; I’m being quieter than usual,” she smirks, tossing a handful of candy in her mouth. “Where’s your popcorn kernels?”

They had completely slipped my mind after all I’ve thought about since then. It didn’t help that I denied my wishes and spent all of a minute in Blizzard Hype. If I had walked around like I wanted to, I would have remembered them. But no, I insisted that we got back as soon as possible since I felt we took enough time in Waterfall.

Papyrus looks to me like he’s reached a big revelation. “I knew we were forgetting something!”

I feel a slight smile at his willingness to make an excuse when Undyne snorts. “How? You guys were gone for like an hour, and you only needed to get two items. Don’t tell me you got _lost_.”

It’s actually been two and a half hours when I take a glance at the clock in the kitchen, but I smoothly lie, “No, but we had to go all the way to the City to get the candy.”

Undyne raises an eyebrow, “Seriously? Blizzard Hype is _never_ out of stock, not even during the worst blizzards.”

“Well, it was today. I didn’t know sour candy was so popular,” I shrug, giving Papyrus his jacket back and pulling off my boots. The bowl of pasta he gave me is nowhere to be seen, and I open the fridge to see it was put in a container with my name on it written in Comic Sans.

I can’t but smile at the gesture before Undyne loudly sighs, and I look back to see her turn off the TV. Thankfully, someone, I assume Papyrus, turned on the lights above the fireplace so there’s still some light in the house.

“Well, I’m gonna head out. I was _hoping_ we’d get to hang out tonight since it’s been a while, but nah, I got to know a really cool Captain of the Royal Guard instead.”

“Sorry, Undyne,” is all Papyrus says.

“It’s fine, how about we do something next week? I promise I won’t ask for candy that will mysteriously be out of stock.”

He smiles, but I can see his discomfort in misleading her. “Sure, sounds great.”

“Alright! Lords of Swords, Season Seven! Oh, and is it cool if I bring Alphys? She never gets out of that lab and… I dunno, you guys don’t judge. I think she’d feel right at home if we give her an hour.”

“Of course,” Papyrus says wholeheartedly, and I can tell he’s happy that’s something he can be entirely honest about.

“Yeah? What about you, Krista? You’re the woman of the house, after all,” Undyne winks as I feel a slight pain pierce my temples.

Dread tightens around my throat in warning as I feel my magic prepare for what’s coming. This is my only chance, and I’ll need as much time as possible to figure out how to do it.

“Sounds perfect, see you then,” I say, hoping I don’t sound rushed as she takes her time to open the door.

I think she jokes about something, but I don’t hear her as she steps out. Without another word, I close the door as quickly and quietly as possible.

“Krista, are you okay?” Papyrus asks.

“We probably have a minute to see if this will work,” I say in a low voice as I summon the kind of magic I used to update the Reset points. It looks no different, but it definitely _feels_ different, especially now.

The magic seems to writhe in my palm as if it’s disgusted that nothing is in my control. But I think that also fuels it into something stronger, maybe this really _can_ work.

Only… would I need to transfer some of my own magic to Papyrus’ SOUL like Lissaria taught me? Or is that only reserved for taking while giving in the first place is something different?

Pain stabs my temples once more as I decide we don’t have time for this.

I shake my head and focus on the purple light, squinting a bit as I morph its purpose into something I need _now_. The ability to update the Reset point has always been layers of complex magic, that’s why it took so much out of me the first several times I did it. But it also means there are skills I’ve had all along that I’ve never been able to trust my magic enough to test; I’d like to think I will be able to now. 

Pieces of the center flake off as I begin to feel the entities of each one. The feeling is as if they’re being replaced in the original globe as fast as they are leaving. It’s almost like how the boys’ healing magic feels, a kind of strength that is meant to repair instead of damage, and there’s always more to give. Maybe I’m not entirely destructive like I once thought. 

“You’re going to have to really trust me on this one,” I murmur to Papyrus as dread chokes me even tighter and I form the tiny ball of light.

What if I mess this up? What if I hurt him in some irreparable way that he’ll never heal from? Or what if _I_ lose my ability to remember in the process?

My eyes snap up to his anxious face that simultaneously remains patient and trusting despite all these uncertainties.

I lift my hand and extend it to him, not trusting myself enough to let him feel my magic's impact alone.

“In a few seconds,” I say in a steady voice as dots spot my vision, “I want you to take my hand. Hopefully… this will be enough.”

“I trust you,” is all he says in response. For some reason, it gives me confidence instead of fear. I don’t worry about his expectations or dread that I’m going to let him down. I just know… that I will make sure he’s right to trust me.

“ _Now_ ,” I say as that final push of the Reset hits, and I feel his palm connect with my magic.


	29. Losing Myself

It feels like I haven’t slept in a week, but I still push myself up from the couch and look outside to see it’s the middle of the night.

_ “Did it work?” _ my brain asks before I remember  _ what  _ was supposed to work.

Then I hear a door open upstairs, and I look up to see it’s  _ Papyrus  _ instead of Sans.

“I remember it all,” he says in a hushed voice.

I’m not sure if the revelation either makes me want to laugh or cry, so I merely stand up to face him. 

“Welcome to the club,” I say without thinking as something between a laugh and a sob shudders out of me. I guess that’s one way to express my mixed feelings.

He rushes down the steps and wraps me in a hug, slightly shaking himself as I immediately notice something different about his SOUL. I’m not sure what to call it, but it’s that  _ something  _ in Sans’ that Papyrus has never had. Whatever it is, I know I can now call it the part of their magic that lets them remember Resets. I think the best part is that I would have never known that it was my magic that let him remember, it feels like it has been Papyrus’ all along. 

Maybe it really is an aspect of my magic that is like their healing ability, a gift meant to help someone else. It makes sense; after all, you can’t persevere if you can’t remember. 

“Do you feel okay?” I ask him as I pull back. “Anything hurt or out of place?”

He shakes his head, “Nope, I’m as fine as ever.”

“And it  _ worked _ ,” I can’t help but reiterate.

“I knew you would be able to do it.”

“Do what?” Sans calls from upstairs, and I look up to see him leaning against the railing, an unamused expression souring his face.

“Sans,” Papyrus says cautiously, “I wanted to remember the timelines from now on. So I asked Krista if there was a way to do it and-”

Sans fixes a glare on me before Papyrus finishes, “And you actually did it?”

“Well-”

“You had no reason to do that,” he says in a quiet, deadly voice. He shortcuts down to me, and I instinctively take a step back even though he’s not that close.

“Sans,” I try.

“ _ No _ , if there was  _ one  _ thing I thought we agreed on, it was that he wouldn’t be involved no matter what. Or have you not watched him die enough times?”

“How  _ dare  _ you-”

“We’re not doing this!” Papyrus steps between us before turning to Sans. “It was  _ my  _ idea and  _ my  _ choice. Sure, Krista is the reason I can remember, but  _ I  _ asked her to do it. I know you want to shelter me, Sans. I know you think it’s better if I know less, but is that fair to me?”

Blue light flickers in Sans’ left eye as he stares Papyrus down. “I’ll tell you what has been fair to you. It’s  _ not  _ having nightmares where you watch your siblings die over and  _ over _ . It’s  _ not  _ remembering how it feels to have your body crumble into dust. And it’s  _ not  _ living in constant dread of how each new timeline will end. But congratulations, now we can all remember the good times of dying  _ together _ .”

He gives me a sharp look and Papyrus steps in his way. “No, don’t blame her. If you want to blame anyone, blame  _ me _ . I asked for this, Sans, and I am going to live with it.”

“Oh sure, you will,” Sans snarls. “But you’ll be regretting it  _ very  _ soon when you  _ die  _ with it.”

“Why are you being so-”

“Because it was the only way I’ve ever been able to protect you!” Sans suddenly yells, his voice breaking with grief.

Papyrus takes a step back and I inch to the right to get closer to Sans, aching from the pain in his voice.

He carelessly tosses a hand in my direction. “I can’t protect you from  _ anything _ ,” Sans admits as tears sneak their ways down his cheekbones. He turns to Papyrus, “But you, I’ve had the  _ single  _ relief that you didn’t remember the lab or the Resets. At least, no matter what happened, you would carry the least amount of pain. And now that’s gone and I’m  _ terrified  _ of what will haunt you. Because really, Papyrus, the timelines have  _ changed  _ us, and I don’t want to lose you to the hopelessness that’s dragged us down.”

Papyrus’ face doesn’t look hurt like I’d expect; instead, it’s almost…  _ determined _ . “I figured what the risks were, but helping my family is more important than whatever might happen to me.”

Sans is about to argue when Papyrus continues, “Didn’t you have the same reasoning when you decided that you wouldn’t leave Krista alone to deal with Flowey?”

Sans finally looks at me, but it’s as if I’m a different person from the one he just accused. He takes a few steps back, his eyes downcast with guilt.

“I’m sorry… to both of you. I guess I overreacted,” he murmurs.

“I get it,” Papyrus reasons. “We all want to protect each other, but I think you two have been sacrificing more than I have. Stop blaming yourselves, and stop pushing me out of the picture. We’re a family, and we need to work together.”

I wrap my arms around myself as my own guilt rises to the surface, reminding me of my own choices in just the last timeline. It’s obvious I can’t win on my own, so why not accept the help of the people who are offering it?

Of course, there’s just the matter of the inescapable  _ guilt  _ I’ll feel if anything happens to them.

“So for starters,” Papyrus says after a short silence, “what’s our plan for this timeline?”

Sans and I look at each other as our plan from all those timelines ago comes to mind.

“Well, there’s a heavy reliance on my magic,” I start, “but I’m going to need help wearing her down enough.”

“What do you want me to do?” Papyrus asks a little too eagerly.

I know he  _ really  _ wants to help, and he has the skills to do it. But we’re not a trained team of magic-wielders that do this all the time. How much of  _ any  _ success will simply be luck?

I go over all of Sans’ and my ideas, and flaws quickly appear in them. How are we going to get Chara to the Barrier room? Who will she hurt along the way? How will I even be able to take her power before she Resets? Above all, what will she do when she figures out what we’re trying to accomplish?

There’s a hundred more I could probably come up with in ten minutes, but Sans is quick to refute my worries with an ounce of hope.

“Since she can’t teleport anymore, what if I could shortcut her to the Barrier room? I could take you there first, find her, and then get her there before she knew what was happening,” he reasons.

I bite my lip at all the risks I immediately derive from the idea, but then again, isn’t anything we do a risk?

“It’s certainly the fastest route to getting her where we want,” Papyrus adds.

“And what will you do?” I ask him.

“Help Sans in distracting her.”

I look to Sans, “And you think such a simple plan will work?”

“I’m open to ideas,” he bluntly replies, challenging me to think of something more fool-proof, but I am long out of inspiration for anything elaborate.

I sigh, “Fine, we’ll try it. My only condition is  _ no  _ dying.”

Sans rolls his eyes before heading into the kitchen, “I thought that was obvious.”

Even though his tone is joking, it sends a chill down my spine, once again bringing up my fears of how this timeline will  _ end _ .

“Why don’t you get some sleep, Krista?” Papyrus suggests, bringing me out of my jumbled thoughts. “You’re definitely going to need it.”

“What are you going to do?” I ask, slightly suspicious.

“The same thing, but I knew you wouldn’t do it unless someone told you,” he smiles.

I just barely smile back before I walk the short distance to the couch.

“Okay, but we should get moving by dawn. There’s no telling how soon she’ll leave the Ruins,” I tell them as Sans sits at the table with a pear in hand.

“We’ll leave at six-thirty,” Papyrus suggests.

“I’d be more comfortable with six,” I say, feeling a little rude for refuting him.

He sighs but nods anyway, “Alright, six.”

Then he heads up to his room and quietly shuts the door, as if it’s an order for us to go to bed immediately, too.

“So this is it,” Sans says, appearing next to me on the couch and making me jump.

“Can you  _ not _ ?” I hiss, hating how much it shows I’m on edge.

“Sorry, I  _ can’t help  _ but still be a little mad at you for the past day and a half,” he responds, tossing the pear into my lap.

“Is there a way I can make it up to you?” I ask, just slightly sarcastic as I take a bite out of the pear.

“Don’t screw it up this time,” he says, his voice more teasing than serious.

I frown even though I can tell he’s trying to ease my worries. “If only it was that easy.”

He sighs, “Look-”

“I want to go with you two to the Ruins doors,” I interrupt, realizing a factor of what’s bothering me.

“What would be the point?”

“Just… just in case she’s there in the morning.”

“Will you ever trust us to do something on our own?”

I bite my lip, “I won’t stay for long... but I don’t want to leave you two immediately.”

Sans stares at me for a second before he concedes, “Fine, we’ll go to the doors together, and then I’ll take you to the Barrier. It doesn’t make much of a difference, but if it will subdue  _ some  _ of your worries then I agree.”

He stands up and heads for the stairs, pausing when his hand touches the railing. “Oh, and no matter what happens… promise me you won’t give up.”

I raise an eyebrow at his request, “Well… yeah, I was planning on that.”

He turns around, “I’m serious, Krista. You worry about us a lot, but you often fail to be concerned about yourself. Don’t let her convince you that you don’t deserve the Surface.”

“Okay… I promise,” I say, surprised that he’s more worried about  _ that _ .

He nods and then heads upstairs, “Night.”

“Night,” I respond, taking another bite of my pear when he shuts his door.

Will this really be it? The end of the fight that’s lasted nearly my whole life? Our plan feels too simple to be enough, but at the same time, our options are limited.

Something suddenly jumps up on the couch and I flinch before seeing it’s Cody.

“Oh, hi puppy,” I whisper.

He lies down with his paws stretched out on my lap, and I can’t help but stroke his fluffy fur.

“I get the feeling that a lot has happened without me,” he says through his SOUL.

“Yeah,” I softly respond.

He looks up at me, “I guess I’m not allowed to come along tomorrow?”

“Well… I don’t want you to get hurt,” I stumble.

He huffs out a little breath, almost like a sarcastic laugh. “I get it. I would be no help, and I would just get in the way.” 

“You know I don’t mean it like that.”

“I do, but it just makes me feel bad because we all know it’s the truth. I can’t help the way I wish I could.”

“Cody, if it was my choice, none of you would be involved in this.”

He squints a little at me, seemingly in annoyance but also understanding. “Will you at least let me stay with you tonight?”

“Of course,” I say, aching a little that he sees it as his only way to help.

I finish my pear and throw its core in the trash. After washing the dried juice off my hands, I head back to the couch and snuggle under my blanket. Cody finds his spot near the end with his back against my legs, his warmth a comfort I feel like I’ve forgotten.

I could worry the rest of the night about tomorrow, but I choose to ignore my thoughts before they get the chance to take ahold of me. There’s nothing but my puppy and warm blanket keeping me safe, and tomorrow is just another day.

***

I’m ready to leave by 5:55, but Sans doesn’t shortcut us to the Ruins doors until six. I‘m not surprised that he deliberately takes his time until the latest possible moment to leave his room, but it annoys me nonetheless. We end up a few yards away from the bridge to have space to survey the area… and I immediately notice something’s  _ off _ .

Footprints, about the size of mine in a consistent direction are dug into the snow, all the way towards town. They’re subtle considering how hard-packed the snow is, but I certainly see them.

My throat tightens with fear as a million possibilities race through my head, and I’m about to sprint back towards home when Sans puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Look,” he says, pointing towards the Ruins doors.

I’m not sure what he means until I notice something white on one of the purple doors.

We cautiously walk towards them, looking in every direction just in case she’s hiding somewhere. I search with my magic for her SOUL, but there’s nothing all the way to the doors.

When we reach them, I see that the white thing is a small piece of paper taped to the left door just above my head. Red ink stains the lineless page and I scornfully tear it off, hating the little rush of fear that makes it hard to breathe. For some reason, I can’t help but be a little surprised to see that Chara has neat handwriting; I might even go so far as to say it’s… pretty. But I’m quick to forget that nicety when I read her words.

_ My disobedient pet, _

_ I feel that I have been far too generous to you for the past couple timelines. You’ve had your little victories and I’ve allowed them to dominate their respective runs. I say it is about time we change that. So if you’d like to see me today, visit the capital. Wouldn’t it be nice to have an audience? _

_ Patiently waiting, _

_ Your Queen. _

_ P.S: Wear something nice. Today could be my coronation after all  _ **=)**

I want to tear the note into a million pieces and then burn it with lava, but at the same time, I can’t stop staring at it.

“Krista?” Sans asks and I shove the note into his hands, taking a few steps away from my brothers to collect my thoughts.

I don’t realize that I’m trembling until one of them puts a hand on my shoulder and I turn to him, seeing it’s Papyrus.

“She walked  _ right past _ our house,” I say as the notion hits me. “She must have torn through the Ruins the second the timeline started if she’s already in the City.”

“We don’t know if she’s there for certain,” Papyrus tries to help. “What if she’s trying to mislead us and she’s actually going somewhere else?”

“I don’t think so,” Sans says in a voice simmering with anger. I look at him to see he’s crushed the note in his fist, his eyes dim and seemingly prepared to attack someone. “She wants us to see whatever she’s done there, and like Mettaton, she wants it to be a grand show.”

“Then we know where to go next,” Papyrus says.

Sans nods, and we’re suddenly outside the City gates a blink later. Only…

“Where’s Papyrus?” I ask in a sudden panic.

“Where do you think?” Sans asks, creating a tiny blaster that destroys the note when he tosses it towards the wall to our right.

“You  _ left  _ him there?”

“He didn’t want to believe she was here anyway so why does it matter?” he snaps, walking towards the open gates.

“He was only making a suggestion. Why can’t you just let him help?”

“Because I’m not losing both my siblings in the same timeline.”

I grab Sans’ arm to stop him and he does, but he refuses to make eye contact.

“You don’t think I’m afraid of all the ways Papyrus might get hurt now that he remembers?” I ask. My brother still doesn’t look at me. “But he wants to help us, and it’s not fair to leave him out.”

“He wouldn’t have cared anyway if you had just let him forget,” Sans murmurs.

“Because keeping secrets from our family members is always the smart option,” I snap.

He finally looks at me, and I raise an eyebrow as if to say, “ _ Yeah, I’m using  _ **_that_ ** _ card. _ ”

“Let’s just find her and get this over with,” he mumbles turning to head into the City.

I follow, but I leave my frustration at the gates, knowing there’s no use in further argument. All my focus should be on staying alert and being prepared for anything… especially with how the streets are today.

It seems like every citizen who lives here is out. Most are rushing to and from stores, their arms weighed down by bags of anything from groceries to costumes. If I didn’t know any better, I would say tomorrow is Remember Day from the hurried but excited expressions on the monsters’ faces.

Is there some event about to happen that I haven’t heard of?

But then the castle catches my attention, and I see a massive crowd gathered just below its grand staircase. I nudge Sans and he nods, leading the way towards the outskirts of the crowd.

He taps the arm of a horse-like monster and it looks down at him in surprise, probably at the fact that we’re so short in comparison to him.

“Heya, what’s going on here?” Sans asks in a tone so friendly I would think he’s been having a great day.

“You haven’t heard?” the horse asks incredulously. “The queen has come back! She and King Asgore are going to make an announcement today at eight, and there’s rumor that there will be a grand party tonight.”

My eyebrows furrow in surprise at this new direction. Instead of killing through the Ruins, Chara… brought Toriel here? What is this new angle?

“O- okay, thanks,” I say, turning to leave as I try to think how to approach this new problem.

“Hey wait,” the horse says, making me stop. “You’re Krista, right? Shouldn’t you have all the details? Is there going to be a big show tonight?”

I bite my lip as my anger rises, listing all that’s going to be at stake if I face Chara here. But I put on a sweet smile and say, “Oh yes, it’s going to be  _ spectacular _ , but you didn’t hear that from me, got it?”

The horse smiles, “Oh sure, I’ll just be eagerly waiting.”

We turn away from the crowd and head into the City streets, eventually finding a turn that dead-ends so we can step away from the chaos. After the few people who saw us continue on their way, Sans finally says, “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know, maybe we can get Mettaton to distract them while we find her.”

“I’m not sure what  _ you’re  _ thinking, but it’s pretty obvious to me that she’s in the castle,” Sans hisses. “I can get us in there and at the Barrier room in all of a minute.”

“Fine, but just remember that we do this carefully. Who knows what she has planned?”

Sans rolls his eyes, “We’ll never make any progress against her if we take all our time being cautious. We’ve tried that, now is the time to  _ act  _ while we can.”

I bite my tongue and nod, figuring there’s no point in arguing. He wants this to end just as much as I do, and since nothing I’ve done has been useful, might as well follow him.

“What room should we try first?” I ask.

“I say we get closer and see if we can sense her SOUL in any particular area,” he says before shortcutting us to the hidden back entrance.

I immediately get a sense of that red SOUL, amazed at how close she is as it makes me flinch back. “I know exactly where she is,” I whisper, practically seeing her stand in that silver-blue Judgement Hall.

“You ready, then?” Sans whispers back, probably noticing where she is, too. I detect slight fear in his voice, but I’m not sure who it’s for.

I can only nod as he shortcuts us into the Hall, but I’m not prepared for how close he takes us to Chara when she throws out a wave of red magic. I expect to be thrown to the ground, but something catches me mid-air, tightening around my wrists and stomach.

The flash of her magic was disorienting enough that spots fill my eyes, and I have to blink them away to see Sans dodging her onslaught of attacks. I try to move to help, but whatever has a hold of me keeps a  _ tight  _ grip. I look at my wrists to see vines and my throat tightens…  _ of course _ he’d side with her.

I send a slash of magic through all the vines holding me, and I drop to the ground, looking over my shoulder to see…  _ Asriel  _ standing there instead of Flowey.

He looks to be on the verge of crying, but I ignore him as I turn to face Chara… and the sight freezes me in place.

She stares at me with a smug expression, with one hand on her hip and the other holding Sans’ fractured SOUL. He kneels on the ground in front of her, locking his eyes with mine and faintly shaking his head.

“I’m so glad you found my note,” Chara chirps, “and you’re here so soon. I’ve barely had any time to plan tonight’s party! But alas, I can make do with this.”

She tightens her grip on Sans’ SOUL and he stifles a yell, making me catch my breath in fear as I try to come up with a plan.

“You wanted me here. What more do you expect?” I ask through gritted teeth.

“I want you to truly  _ break _ ,” she smirks, pulling a knife out of her boot and holding it over my brother’s head.

I hold back a scoff, afraid that acting nonchalant will get Sans killed. “You don’t think you already did that?”

“If I had, you wouldn’t be standing here,” she says, her eyes darkening.

How am I supposed to get his SOUL out of her hands? If she just had the knife, it’d be one thing, but his SOUL?

Wait, but what if I go for  _ her  _ SOUL?

“Are you admitting you underestimated me?” I ask,  _ carefully  _ taking a single step closer.

She smiles in response, “I knew you could handle broken fingernails and tense shoulders.” 

Of course, the first half of the translation is digging sharp objects under my nails and tearing them off my hands. The second half is whipping me to near death.

“What I had forgotten is that you’ve accepted it as part of your normal life. You understand that you deserve it and therefore see no point in dwelling on it. That’s why I need to step up my methods.”

It all happens at once. She raises the knife to stab Sans, and I send an attack straight for her SOUL. The knife flies out of her hand to hit the wall, and I sprint the last few steps for her, shoving her far from my brother with a burst of magic as she loses her grip on his SOUL. I turn to catch it, so caught up in the adrenaline rush that it takes me a moment to register what I see.

Asriel stands a few paces away, tears pouring down his face, but there’s no regret in his eyes as he stares down at the pile of dust. His left arm is a sharp vine, and it doesn’t take much for me to piece together what happened. Without his SOUL… Sans didn’t have his magic to protect himself.

“It’s almost sad how easy it is,” Chara hums behind me.

I’m about to turn to attack when Asriel whips the vine at me, snapping around my right arm and slamming me flat on my back. The impact knocks all the air out of me as I try to breathe, to register what’s going on.

“Now I thought I told you to wear something nice,” Chara tsks, appearing in my blurry vision as she stands over me. “Here, I’ll give you 5000 Gs; that should be more than enough for tonight’s party.”

She drops five gold coins onto my stomach before leaning down and grabbing my chin, forcing me to look into those red eyes.

“Don’t hold anything back, little bitch. I  _ really  _ want you to try your best tonight. If you’re impressive enough, maybe I’ll take pity on you and Reset.”

She smiles before standing up and walking away, her voice just barely audible when she finally says, “Asriel.”

I roll onto my stomach and push myself up, looking in every direction for either of them, but they’re gone. All that’s left is that pile of dust, but I’m too empty to cry. All I feel is  _ anger _ .

I collect the five coins and shove them in my jeans pocket, willing to play her game now that this timeline has lost its meaning. All that I’ve realized means nothing now. I just want to make her  _ hurt _ .

After all… why not let everything go? Why not abandon all reason just to reach a single victory? I’ll probably lose on my own, but I don’t care. I refuse to leave the Underground without my entire family, and if that means dying one last time with no hope of a Reset, it doesn’t matter.

I stand up and look back at the door we came from, formulating a plan for how I’m going to make tonight the most glorious performance the Underground has ever seen. With only one more glance at my brother’s remains, I turn and head for the exit, feeling his anger against me like the sins on my back.

I will never ask for forgiveness… because I don’t deserve it, and there’s no future to fight for in this timeline. I feel like there’s an open, empty road in front of me, free to travel in any direction I desire. The abundance of choices makes me feel less like…  _ me _ . My magic writhes in my SOUL as my resolve strengthens, abandoning all the fears and regrets that make Krista Meadows the failure she is. Just for this timeline… why not give in to wild, reckless anger?

My mouth twitches with the faintest smirk as I realize what color I should wear tonight.

***

The crowd outside the castle is even larger as I make my way out the back entrance and into the City streets. I hear someone yell it’s only an hour until the king and queen’s announcement, giving me plenty of time to find Becca’s store and get what I want.

Thankfully, everyone’s so busy with their own tasks that no one notices me, the short-lived “star” of the Underground. I’m so caught up in my own thoughts that I don’t think I could stomach faking my way through a friendly conversation. I keep seeing Sans’ dust, feeling my self-hatred creep its way up my throat to the point that it becomes sore.

I want to punish myself  _ so badly _ for what I allowed to happen, for who I failed to protect. But I keep telling myself that my punishment will come all in good time… when I destroy myself tonight. My magic continues to twist and build in anticipation, more restless than I’ve ever felt it to the point that I’m almost afraid it will start attacking people without my permission. But I’m strong enough to keep it inside, feeling the power grow with my anger.

A tiny voice tells me this is wrong, that I’m not thinking straight and I’m falling right into Chara’s trap. But I honestly can’t care less. Sans is dead. What’s the point in fighting for anything when victory means I’d have to move on without him?

Instead, I just want to make Chara  _ hurt _ . 

I’d like to think it’s not some pathetic, selfish wish for something as petty as revenge, but maybe it is. After all she’s taken from me, why shouldn’t her “ **_disobedient pet_ ** ” finally bite her hand off? I don’t care what will happen to me in the process, but if I could just give her a  _ taste  _ of the misery she’s put me through, I’ll have achieved some form of success in this failed timeline.

After a good ten minutes of wandering the streets, I finally find Becca’s shop, effectively shoving aside my hateful thoughts as I step into the fairly busy store.

I spot the white tiger helping a customer in the left corner, and I head to the right, not ready to pretend I’m in a good mood just yet.

Ignoring all the gowns that the real me would stare at in awe, I walk past them towards the shorter, simpler dresses near the back. If there’s one thing Chara and I have in common, I will admit that we both take pride in dressing up for occasions. Sure, she’s forcing my hand on this one, but the tiniest portion of the real me can’t help but squeak with delight as I look through the racks of pretty things.

I spot several that I would want on any other day, but right now, my anger is strong enough to keep me on track.

It takes a good five minutes until I find the dress with my vague specifications, and ironically, it’s on sale.

There are only three available and I select the smallest one, hoping it won’t need alterations.

I sneak around to the back and find an empty dressing room, one much smaller than what I used last time. There’s only one mirror in here, and it’s borderline claustrophobic as my arms can almost touch both walls when they’re straightened out. But it doesn’t bother me, in fact, it makes me feel hidden in a forgotten place where one Krista stays and a new one emerges.

I change into the dress without another thought, ignoring the voice in me that says I shouldn’t do this. Thankfully, it seems to fit the way it should, and I finally look in the mirror.

The real me that still fights to regain a sense of reason absolutely hates the dress, but this strange mindset I’m in, coupled with my anger,  _ loves  _ it.

It’s black with a loose, knee-length skirt and leggings built into the design. There’s a faint pattern of leaves and flowers all over the dress, but it would take a keen eye to really see the details. The real side of me can appreciate the long sleeves and high collar that nearly covers the scar Undyne gave me. But the most offensive part is the completely open back that gives the world a clear view of my scars.

I gather my hair and hold it against my head, turning to see just how much is visible… and it’s pretty much  _ everything _ . The layers and layers of horribly mended skin, the darker patches that never properly healed, and the handful that still look like they’ll tear open and bleed if I simply stretch too far.

It’s…  _ perfect  _ in all the wrong ways, a clear representation of the miserable life Chara has forced me to live. But I feel like it’s also a good image of myself: dark and ugly for all the atrocities and failures I’ve been the cause of.

I drop my hair and feel it tickle my bare skin, the perfect length to fully conceal the massacre on my back. I’ll have to address that issue if I want the Underground to see what their princess is really like.

I change back into my normal clothes and cringe when I see myself in the mirror, feeling like I’m wearing someone else’s skin. It’s odd how I felt more powerful in the dress even though I was far more exposed. It’s evident that I’m pulling farther and farther away from who I am, but instead of being afraid, I welcome it. Nothing has worked for the real Krista. She may have been loved by a handful of people and strong enough to survive, but she was never strong enough to  _ win _ .

My magic seems to leap in agreement, and I see light flare in my eyes for a split second. Is that what they’ve all meant when they said my eyes glow? I guess it means my magic only really wants to play when I’m pissed off. Good, I have plenty of anger to fight with tonight.

I gather the dress and exit the room, walking straight to the check-out counter where Becca waves goodbye to the customers leaving in front of me. I swallow my simmering magic and put on my best fake smile, pretending as if today couldn’t be happier.

“Oh hi, Krista! How was the gown on Remember Day?” Becca asks cheerfully.

_ “You mean a day so long ago I barely remember it?” _ a vicious voice inside me asks. But I say instead, “It was amazing, thank you so much.”

“And you’re back already! Isn’t it nice that it seems like we’ll have celebrations every month now? I heard the kingdom used to celebrate that often back when the queen was around. Hopefully she’ll reinstate that rule,” Becca says as I place the dress on the counter.

“I’ll definitely visit more often if that’s the case,” I say smoothly.

Becca unfurls the dress and scans its tag, slightly frowning as she recognizes the design. “Well, it’s thirty percent off, but I must say, I thought you didn’t like designs like this. Do you want me to find something else? I promise I’ll give you a discount if that’s what you’re worried about.”

My anger creeps back up while another part of me begs her to order me to buy something else, but I manage to shake my head. “No, it’s fine; I wanna try something different.”

Her eyebrows slightly rise, but she merely nods. “Okay, I can understand that.”

She types a few things into her computer before she folds up the dress. “Okay, that takes it down to 1900 Gs, or we can round it off at 2000 if you want to get some shoes to go with it.”

I raise an eyebrow, unsure if I want to risk compromising my balance or focus with something I’m not used to. But then again, I  _ feel  _ like a different person… and everything I’m wearing right now is just another part of the Krista I’m tearing away from.

“Okay, I’ll do it,” I say, placing two gold coins on the counter. Oh yeah, I’m also not spending  _ my  _ money.

“Great, just find something you like so I can deduct it from the inventory,” Becca says, pointing towards the opposite corner of the store near the front doors.

I walk over and immediately find myself in foreign territory, unsure of what exactly would work for me. It’s easy to rule out the extreme margins: the heels and the sneakers. But then there are the in-between ones, in particular, a type of boot with a short heel. It would definitely make me taller, and the heel is wide enough that I think I’d be able to get the hang of balancing pretty quickly. Is it worth it?

I grab a pair of black ones that stop right at my ankles. It’s strange that they have nearly hidden zippers on the sides, and the material on the outside is comparable to velvet. I try them on and straighten-up, immediately feeling a little uneasy with this new level of height and balance. Is  _ this  _ what it’s like to be five feet tall?

At the same time, though, I feel a level of confidence like this. And I just know with that dress… I  _ will be _ a completely different person.

Is this what I want? Will any of this matter?

But all I have to do is remember my brother and my anger is revived, burying the hint of the real Krista that had risen.

I shove my old boots in the box and walk over to Becca’s counter, slightly wobbling every other step. But I lift my chin and own it, forcing myself to master this new ability.

“Great choice,” Becca says, scanning the box. “Does this mean you’re performing tonight?”

I shrug, “Sort of.”

She smiles and something splinters in my heart. “I can’t wait.”

I force a smile back before walking away with my items, grateful that there’s someone waiting behind me. It’s enough of an excuse that I’m not rude for leaving without saying any more.

I exit the store and enter the streets that seem to be even more chaotic. Someone calls out that the announcement will be in thirty minutes and I take a few steps in the direction away from the castle, unsure what to do with my stuff for the time being.

“Well isn’t this a sight?” I suddenly hear over the commotion, and I turn to see Undyne standing a few paces away with Alphys by her side. “ _ You _ ? Actually buying something from Becca’s on your own?”

“What are you doing here?” I ask her, wondering if the news has spread to the whole kingdom by now… and where Papyrus might be.

“Alphys heard from someone about all this and she asked if I wanted to come along to hear the announcement in person. What are  _ you  _ doing here buying dresses and wearing heels?” the captain says in a snarky, teasing tone.

“I heard there’s going to be a party tonight, so I snagged some stuff before the stores get cleaned out,” I lie.

“Psh, how’d you hear so fast when you’re supposed to be at your post right now?” she raises an eyebrow.

“TV.”

Undyne merely smirks and grabs the dress bag and shoebox out of my hands. “Then you better keep these in a safe place until tonight. I have a Guard who lives around here who’ll be fine with it. Come on.”

Before I can protest, Undyne takes off and Alphys wordlessly follows, giving me no choice but to go along with it. In only five minutes, Undyne’s knocking on the Guard’s door and she barges in before the rabbit has barely opened it.

“Hey Wesley, is it cool to keep these here until tonight?” I hear her say inside, dropping the items near the front door.

“Uh… sure?” Wesley says like it’s a question.

“Thanks a million, and you know, you should really come along with us to hear the king’s announcement. It could be a Guard policy change for once.”

“Y- yes Captain,” he reluctantly agrees.

“Aw, come on, Wess! There’s no need for formalities!” Undyne laughs as she leads the rabbit outside with an arm over his shoulders. Even though he’s bigger than her, he seems so much smaller in comparison to the captain’s fierce, commanding presence. “Let’s go!”

We head all the way back to the castle, taking about fifteen minutes to get through the crowds. I can’t help but silently thank Undyne for clearing a path since it gets us closer than any other person could at a time like this. We reach a nice spot on the outskirts of the original crowd with a clear view of the double doors at the top of the steps.

The monsters begin to hush as we get closer and closer to eight o’ clock, enough that I can single out individual voices.

“So… what do you think this will be about?”

“I heard the queen is such a sweetheart.”

“Are we finally going to expand the City limits?”

“This m- might be something bad.”

The last voice makes me whip my head in Alphys’ direction. She was quiet enough that I don’t think anyone else heard her… but does that mean it was an indirect question for me?

She glances at me and hunches her shoulders, “J- just a- a feeling. A- Asgore d- doesn’t do kingdom-wide announcements.”

I bite my lip and merely make an  _ I don’t know _ shrug. But of course, I do know this will  _ technically  _ be good news. It just won’t be good news to me.


	30. A Different Krista

A minute later, the doors swing wide open, revealing the Royal Family: Asgore, Toriel, Asriel, and…  _ Chara _ . The sight of her makes me want to sprint up the steps and rip her throat out, but I keep my composure. 

_ All in good time… _

The crowd stares in silence, either stunned or confused by the sight. I doubt many of them were around when this family ruled together. I’m not even sure if any of them have ever heard of Chara.

“Citizens of the Monster Kingdom!” Asgore announces. “It is with great joy that I inform you of the return of Queen Toriel and our children, Asriel and Chara. After years of being trapped by a magical spell in the Ruins, they were finally able to break free and rejoin us in the Capital. In honor of their return, I am instating a kingdom-wide celebration for the next three days starting tonight! The castle doors will open at six for a party even grander than Remember Day. We hope you’ll join us in the festivities!”

Despite the brevity of the announcement, it’s apparently all the monsters need to know before they begin to cheer, praising the oh-so-joyous return of the Royal Family.

They wave to the crowd before turning and disappearing into the castle. Chara doesn’t give me so much as a glance even though I’m certain she knows I’m here. The only positive is that Asriel looks to be on the verge of throwing up. Is  _ he  _ at least guilty for all he’s done?

The doors close and the crowd quickly begins to disperse, rushing off to no doubt continue their last-minute shopping.

“Oh yeah, another party!” Undyne laughs triumphantly. “How lucky for you, Wesley, that it wasn’t a Guard-related matter.”

“Yeah, lucky break,” Wesley responds, seemingly uncomfortable.

Undyne snorts, “Let me guess, you’re staying in so you don’t run into your crush who works at the sweets shop that usually caters?”

Even though I can’t see his skin, I can just tell that Wesley is blushing under his white fur. “I won’t go into detail,” is all he says in response.

The captain laughs, “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. We’ll stop by later tonight to get that stuff; I promise we won’t bother you after that.”

All the rabbit does is nod before heading back to his house.

Undyne sighs and shakes her head at his retreating form, “Some people are just too afraid to share their feelings.” I catch Alphys’ subdued squeak at that, but Undyne either doesn’t hear it or doesn’t think it means anything. “Anyway, what do you girls wanna do in all this time before the party?”

“I actually need to get back home for now since Sans is probably still in bed,” I say, almost choking on his name. “But I’ll meet you two at Wesley’s around five.”

Undyne groans in annoyance and ruffles my hair, making my unchecked anger rise just the slightest. “Fine, we’ll see you then,” she says before grabbing Alphys’ arm and striding into the crowded streets. “It’s just you and me, girlfriend!”

I can’t help the faint smile that just barely makes me feel better, but then I turn in Wesley’s direction and follow after him, weaving through numerous monsters to catch up with his hulking figure.

“Hey, Wesley,” I say, slightly stepping in front of him to get his attention.

“Oh, you’re Krista, right?” he asks, seemingly surprised that I’m talking to him.

“Yeah, that was my stuff that Undyne dropped off at your house, and I’m just going to take it home with me now. There’s no reason to leave it cluttering up your place.”

“You’re sure?” he asks cautiously.

I nod, “Absolutely.”

I let him lead the rest of the way to his house, unsurprised that he doesn’t try to make conversation. I’m grateful for his silence, but I notice that it gives my mind an opportunity to wander. That is, wander to every horrible place I could be in right now.

Thankfully, we make it to his house fairly quickly, and he hands me the dress bag and shoebox only seconds after he opens his door.

“Have fun tonight,” is all he says before slipping into his house and shutting the door.

For some reason, he’s the exact opposite of what I think of as a Royal Guard. Then again, I’ve mainly interacted with monster dogs and Undyne so maybe they’re just the boisterous majority.

I leave Wesley’s house and dodge my way through the streets, remaining unnoticed amongst the chaos as I make my way back to the City gates. Finally free from the crowds, I select one of the many elevators along the stone wall and hit what I  _ think  _ is the button that leads back to MTT Resort.

I’m honestly not sure where I want to go… because I can’t face Papyrus. But I also don’t want to stay in the City all day. It doesn’t matter if Chara will most likely remain in the castle, I can’t be that close to her without giving in to my anger. I’m amazed I’ve done so well ever since I left Becca’s store. It’s as if my rage is lying in wait for the right time to explode.

The elevator doors open and I immediately know I’m in the wrong place. But I still step out and take a right to face the long bridge leading over some hidden portion of the City. Honestly, I still have yet to find this bridge from the streets. It’s definitely odd… how the castle seems to be up against a giant wall of deep blue stone, but then there’s this bridge that leads out of it with a view of the City? Is it some magic illusion? Or is it really a view magically hidden from the public’s eyes so no one knows where to find the Barrier room? Then again, people have made it up here; all I have to think about is that timeline when Mettaton tried to take over. Did they all walk through Asgore’s “house?”

I’ll probably never know… not that any of it matters. I look to my left, already knowing what I’ll see, but it still makes my heart drop: the Judgement Hall.

I’m about to turn away when the thought hits me: no one will find me here.

It has to be far enough away that Chara can’t sense my SOUL, and Papyrus wouldn’t think to look here for weeks. It’s the perfect place to hide as I wait, providing a good reminder of one of my greatest failures.

I walk into the Hall and pause a few steps from the entrance, taking in the awe-inspiring sight. I’ll admit it never ceases to impress, but after all that’s happened… the sight just fills me with dread.

I take a deep breath and walk the length of the Hall, unsure of where exactly I want to go. But the practice is helpful, and I find a stride that proves I am more than capable of at least walking in short heels. The echoes they make cause my skin to crawl, reminding me too closely of when Gaster’s footsteps disrupted the silence of the lab. Remembering those days feels like another lifetime, a different Krista. I thought I knew how hard life could get  _ then _ . What a joke.

It makes all of my pessimism rise, every angry, self-hating thought I can conjure. A whisper tries to remind me of what my mother said, but I shove it down and shake my head to chase the feelings away. She would be so disappointed if she saw me now. Mable would be, too.

The thought makes me stop as I reach the end of the Hall, dropping the dress bag and tossing the shoebox down with it. I reach back and unclasp my necklace, holding the heart locket as I drop the thin chain. My thumb glides over the two halves, purple and green, before traveling back to cover the purple side.

What now feels like my oldest self-hatred begins to dry my throat…  _ Mable _ . My fingers close over the locket, and I shove it in my jeans pocket, unable to bear the reminder as I feel like I’m losing who I am. My magic seems to stir in agreement as I hold up my right wrist, finding the pear bracelet under the layers of my coat and shirt. My brothers… or more accurately, the only two beings that somehow found it in their hearts to take pity on me and tolerate my presence. And what did I do in return? I’ve gotten them  _ both  _ killed several times.

I unclasp the bracelet and shove it in my other pocket. I don’t have the strength to destroy either of them, but at the same time, I can’t stand to keep wearing them when they represent a Krista that’s slowly slipping away.

I don’t know what I am now, but I’m certainly not the girl who woke up this morning. I can’t explain it, but failing someone I love  _ this  _ soon after the timeline that should have been the last one… maybe it did break me.

I refuse to be the subservient, tortured little creature that Chara shredded to bits for a month, and maybe the only way to not become that again is to change into a different person entirely. Not only that… but I feel a hateful need to  _ win _ , to show Chara that the world will not always be  _ hers _ . But in order to do that… my magic flares with delight at sudden thoughts to be  _ better _ .

My magic has been on a short leash from day one, always kept in check and never allowed to do as it pleases. Or more accurately, I’ve never given in to my urges to do  _ more  _ with it. Maybe it’s because I’ve been afraid of hurting people. Maybe it’s because I’ve never believed I’m capable of doing it. But now, that’s all I  _ want  _ to do. However, in order to become that, I have to let go of everything that makes me simply a magic  _ wielder _ . All the self-doubt, everything that I use as part of my identity, it all needs to be forgotten. Instead, I need to become the magic itself and only focus on my singular goal: to finally find a triumph against her. Isn’t  _ that  _ true Perseverance?

I survey the Hall from the corner I now stand in, feeling a little paranoid for what I’m about to do, but I shove it down as it’s only a reminder of my true self. I shrug off my coat and toss it on the ground before taking a seat on the perfectly polished floor. I work swiftly, unable to fight back the hints of modesty I can’t get rid of as I tug off my boots and change into the dress, finding three tags pinned to it in the process. It’s probably the fastest I’ve ever changed, and I stand up to make little adjustments to ensure it’s fitting correctly.

When I feel my hair against my back, I realize that I intended to ask Undyne to put it up, but finding her now seems impossible. I guess it doesn’t  _ really  _ matter, but then again, having an open-back dress seems redundant if I leave it down.

Then it hits me as I look at the three pins with the tags still attached to them. Why can’t I just use my magic? Sure, they’re not bobby pins, but can I still make it work?

I pull out the tags and throw them in the dress bag along with my clothes, just barely making everything fit with my bulky coat. Then I try to picture what kind of style I want my hair in: a bun, obviously, but I can do better than just piling it on top of my head.

The image slowly comes to mind as I feel my fingers through my smooth hair, working out the handful of tangles I encounter. Then I find specific strands to group together a few inches diagonal to my right temple, beginning a braid. It takes quite a few tries to work it over the top of my head and bring it around to my crown. Good thing it feels like I have all the time in the world. 

Surprisingly, it’s almost therapeutic instead of frustrating, putting all my focus into gathering my hair just right. I get so lost in braiding and unbraiding and gathering then smoothing out that I probably get it right a handful of times before I finally stop on my seemingly best attempt. I grab one of the pins and try my best to clip it in, but it doesn’t work nearly as good as a bobby pin or hair clip would. I tell myself it’s no problem, this is just laying the foundations in case I lose my grip on whatever ounce of magic I’ll use to keep the bun up.

I try to continue the braid, but I eventually lose it as I start swirling strands into random patterns, all gathering them into a single bun. I use the other two clips for fairly large chunks, but I doubt they’ll hold.

When it finally feels like I have all my hair where I want it, I cast a seemingly childish wave of magic over it that’s so minimal I’m almost amazed it stays up when I drop my hands. Now all I have to do is keep the reminder in the back of my head: my hair is not staying up on its own.

The air around me suddenly feels so cold on my back, and the weight of what I’m doing finally hits me. Yes, they’ll see what a damaged creature I am, but they’ll also see what all that destruction created:  _ power _ .

I look down at my coat peeking out of the dress bag and cringe, realizing I don’t want to look at any of that for a second longer. I pick it up along with the shoebox and leave the Hall, aimlessly traveling into the next room. Instinct keeps me away from the Throne Room and instead takes me all the way down to where the coffins lie.

I pause when I reach the bottom of the steps, surveying the line of each human’s resting place. I begin to walk past each of them, raising an eyebrow at the Determination one. Would there be remains of Chara’s original body? In all honesty, I don’t want to find out.

I keep going, all the way to the Perseverant coffin. I chuck the bag and shoebox on the ground next to it, laying to rest those pieces of myself… for at least this timeline.

Maybe I’ll regret all this when I wake up back in my home, with both my brothers alive and willing to fight with me. But right now…  _ reality  _ is that Sans is dead, and Chara has the loyalty of the kingdom on her side.

I walk back down the line of coffins, recalling the faces I saw in each SOUL. Can I ever do anything that will make  _ their  _ lives worth it? How would it be fair to give the Surface to the same monster who killed them? Are there  _ any  _ wrongs I can right?

A distant thud suddenly echoes into the room, making me freeze with fear for only a second before I force myself to relax. Could it be Chara already?

And then I remember: Asgore can sense when someone is in this room, just like with the Barrier. But still… I  _ really  _ feel like it’s Chara.

A wave of steady calm rushes over any panic I begin to feel, telling me that  _ this time _ will be different. I am prepared. I am stronger than I think. And I really want to make her  _ hurt _ .

Is that enough? Most likely not, but if I believe it is… maybe it can be.

I leave the room and take my time up the stairs, trying to think about some sort of plan to either win or get away. But nothing special comes to mind… because I really don’t care. This timeline means nothing now, so living or dying shouldn’t matter.

I make it to the top of the stairs and walk past the Throne Room, pausing when I reach the entrance to the Judgement Hall. I sense three SOULs instead of just Chara’s; based on their power, it’s Asgore and Toriel.

Great, I didn’t want to deal with  _ them _ , but it’s just too perfect for Chara. She’ll use them as defense to keep me from attacking her. 

How sad that I’m past the point of caring about keeping everyone alive.

I lift my chin and walk into the Hall, keeping my expression blank as I see the entire Royal Family near the center. It’s interesting that Asriel still doesn’t have a SOUL, which means he’s certainly not what he appears to be.

Toriel slightly turns her head in surprise while Asgore’s eyes widen. Chara smirks behind them, and Asriel keeps his head low. For a kid reunited with his family, there must be something  _ very  _ wrong if he’s this unhappy, especially if he’s still the flower I know.

The image brings my anger back full-force, along with hints of pity. Chara destroyed this whole family because of her selfishness. If she had just been able to let go of her anger… maybe they could have lived happily her whole life. And then she destroyed  _ my  _ family… and now she’s using the Dreemurr’s emotions against them. The thoughts rein in my focus, ensuring nothing gets in my way from destroying  _ her _ .

“Krista? Were you down in that… room?” Asgore asks, refraining from giving an actual description.

I slightly tilt my head so I can look Chara directly in the eyes, feeling a little rude for ignoring Asgore. But I have to remind myself: the only players that matter here are Chara and I. The rest of them will either forget all this or merely be nuisances in my path. 

“So this is your strategy? Hiding behind them like it will keep me from giving you what you deserve?”

“ _ Excuse me _ ?” Toriel snaps defensively. “What is wrong with you?”

“Krista… what is going on?” Asgore asks, slightly holding a hand in front of his adopted daughter.

_ I  _ smirk now, “Would you like to explain, Chara?”

The king and queen look at her in question, and Chara makes the most  _ perfect  _ expression of innocence. “I have no idea what she’s talking about.”

“Ha!” I can’t help my harsh snap of laughter. Of course… **_of course_** she’d take this route. “Tell that to every human and monster who has died at your hands.”

“How dare you-” Toriel starts.

“But since we  _ can’t  _ pull my family out of their graves,” I push on, beginning to stride towards them. “I’ll just have to finish this  _ myself _ .”

Asgore and Toriel push the children behind them, now looking at me like I’m wielding ten knives with Chara’s name on the blades. I stop only three yards away, crossing my hands behind my back as I finish my last step.

“I do not know what has sent you into this crazed mindset, but you need to back away and rethink what you are doing,” Asgore snaps.

I raise an eyebrow and slightly shake my head as if he’s a child who wouldn’t understand. “Oh no, Your Majesty.  _ You  _ need to rethink what you’re doing... because if you don’t, the demon you’re protecting will destroy the entire Underground.”

“You want to insult my child?” Toriel hisses, creating a ball of fire in her palm. “Then you must answer to  _ me _ .”

I merely lean my head to the side as if it will help me see Chara behind Asgore’s cape. “So you get your  _ fake  _ parents to defend you, and then what?”

Toriel yells and throws the fire so fast I barely have time to block it. But I surprise myself as I smoothly disintegrate it with a flash of purple all while remaining as still as possible.

Toriel creates another ball of flames and stares me down while tears pour from her eyes. “You think my daughter is a demon?”

I pretend to squint in thought before nodding, “I’d say that’s a pretty accurate description.”

“What makes you think that,  _ Krista _ ?” Asgore asks in the coldest voice I’ve ever heard from him.

I giggle at how infuriating their ignorance is, “Oh, where do I begin? I’m sure Chara can tell you all about the Justice SOUL she killed-”

“Enough!” Toriel screams, again throwing fire that I block.

“I would apologize, Your Majesty, but I can’t deny the facts,” I calmly tell her.

“Krista,” Asgore growls, “you don’t want to do this.”

“With all due respect, Your Majesty, it’s  _ you  _ who shouldn’t do this.”

“Wait,” Asriel’s timid voice suddenly announces.

His parents turn to him and my throat tightens when I see that Chara snuck away in the commotion.

Asriel looks at me, “She left, there’s no need to fight.”

“There’s no need to fight  _ you _ ,” I hiss, beginning to walk around them when Toriel creates a wall of flames between us.

“You are not getting anywhere near her,” Toriel hisses. “I am  _ never  _ losing my children again.”

I take a deep breath and look to Asgore, seeing a similar resolve in his eyes. “Remember that I told you this shouldn’t happen,” is all I tell him before reaching forward and grabbing the king and queen’s SOULs. In the state I’m currently in, I’m only slightly amazed at how easy it is. Even combined, they’re nowhere near the strength of Lissaria, which makes it easy to hold Toriel against the pillar to the left and Asgore to the right. Asriel stands in the middle, crying and SOULless, but there’s also a dark resolve in his eyes that I don’t like.

“This may not be a timeline you want, but it is happy to  _ me _ ,” he says with a surprising amount of strength. “She said if I help her, then we’ll be the family we once were. We’ll be able to break the Barrier and free everyone. It’s  _ you  _ who is keeping everything from us.”

“Are those the lies she fed you?” I ask, slowly approaching him while I hold his parents’ SOULs.

“Asriel, run!” Toriel screams, but he stays put as he stares me down. I smirk as my magic gleefully begins to roam, looking over him and discovering what makes him Asriel instead of Flowey.

“Illusion magic?” I say as if it’s a surprise, but really, it’s just a cheap magic trick. “Now why don’t you think your parents would accept you as you  _ are _ , Flowey?”

Asriel grits his teeth in sudden anger, “You can’t do anything against her magic.”

“Oh really?” I ask, sending out a sharp wave of magic that eliminates the illusion like wind blowing away dandelion seeds. Maybe it would be more difficult if Chara was here to keep her grip on it, but right now…  _ I  _ am the figure of power, and it feels  _ amazing _ .

The king and queen gasp as a flower now stands in the place of their son. “ _ Asriel _ ?” they ask in shock.

Flowey’s face tightens into an expression of hatred, and he sends his vines at me. I reply with sharp bursts of magic that cut clean through them, keeping an expression of calm the entire time.

“You think you’re better now? I’ll kill you just like I killed you before, and then I’m going to kill your other brother!” Flowey yells, growing taller.

Asgore begins to say something and I throw his SOUL back to him, casting a magic command that he’ll be unconscious for the rest of the day. He crumbles against the pillar and I do the same to Toriel, feeling secure that I don’t have to think about them now.

Flowey sends an onslaught of friendliness pellets from every direction, clearly not intending to play around like last time. I create a shield and send a counterattack straight for his stem, not even feeling his attacks impact my magic.

Fortunately for him, he’s able to dodge my attack, but in the time it takes his towering body to move, I send another attack right in the direction he’s moving. Flowey shrieks as my magic burns into him like acid, and with the help of my anger, it seems that it hurts him more than usual.

The ground suddenly shakes directly beneath me and I realize what he’s about to do: the old trick of pulling my legs out from under me. I smirk and send a rush of magic into the ground, finding all his vines and even hundreds of little roots beneath the polished floors.

“This is  _ nothing  _ like last time,” I snarl as I  _ burn  _ through every piece of the flower, holding on tight no matter where he moves or how he tries to fight back.

I slowly approach Flowey as he screeches, unable to move much as the pain holds him in place. I strangely don’t feel any satisfaction at this victory, just calm, assured confidence that I have to do this to get to who I really want.

“Y- you don’t understand!” Flowey cries, tears pouring down his face as he shrinks back to his normal height. “I  _ needed  _ to have my sister back! I- it’s been so lonely without her, and I have to do this to keep her around. P- please! Just let me win so she won’t leave me again.”

“That’s real sweet,” I say, leaning down to wrap my fingers around his stem, forcing him to look into my eyes that I’m sure are glowing. “But if you wanted my mercy, you wouldn’t have killed my brother.”

He opens his mouth to respond, and I tear him straight out of the ground, burning the rest of his body into ash with an immense force of vengeful magic. The act leaves a bitter taste in my mouth as I brush his remains off my fingers, hating that a small part of me feels this is wrong. 

What has Flowey ever done for me? Kill my family, myself, and laugh at our helplessness. I’m the better person for ending it so quickly.

“Now, Chara, where did you run off to?” I ask no one, striding forward to find the only monster who  _ truly  _ deserves my wrath.


	31. They Warned You

I conduct a quick search of Asgore’s house just to check if she’s there. Unsurprisingly, she isn’t, but I figure I should cover everything. I head to the elevator outside the courtyard and press a button I can only hope will take me where I want. However, instead of the City gates, it takes me right outside MTT Resort. I suppose that’s good enough, as long as the elevator there isn’t stuck again.

I walk into the brightly lit resort to find it almost completely empty aside from the one monster cat in the burger shop. I walk over to the double doors and enter the little room, my nose immediately wrinkling from the stench of grease. It’s even worse than Grillby’s in here.

The cat jumps up and stammers out a greeting, smoothing out his shirt like he hasn’t seen a customer all day.

“Where is everyone?” I ask him, keeping a distance from the counter. Even though I’ve calmed down since I killed Flowey, I’m a little nervous my magic’s still on the verge of a frenzy.

_ Just a little longer. _

“Didn’t you hear?” the cat says. “Princess Chara is going to be performing a show soon, but she said she’s waiting for a performer to show up.”

He points to something behind me and I turn to see a TV above the doors, displaying a reporter standing in the courtyard in front of the grand stage. I realize the exact button I need to push on the elevator.

“Thanks,” is all I say to the cat with a quick glance back at him. The expression on his face would make me pause on any other day, but now, I stride out of the shop and head for the elevator. I press the highest number on the wall and wait for it to take its sweet time.

In only a few seconds, I realize why the cat looked at me in what I could closely describe as suppressed horror. He saw my back.

I’ve already forgotten what I’m wearing, and it makes me wonder how I’ve appeared to the few who’ve seen me like this so far. Do they see the Krista they’ve always known? Or do they see an entirely different person? Is it the kind of human that has always lived beneath my personality, and now she’s finally come out to play?

I own the thought as the doors open and I lift my chin. Whatever this mood, personality, or mindset is, I’m going to accept it for what it is. Maybe it makes me the monster I have always feared becoming, but what difference does it make in a timeline like  _ this _ ?

I walk down the hall and pause at the top of Lissaria’s stairwell, unsurprised to see her sitting at the bottom. Unlike her usual looks, her expression holds something like disappointment.

“ _ What _ ?” I snarl, my magic immediately ready to attack.

She squints a bit before saying, “I can’t read your thoughts. What did you do, little warrior?”

“Nothing that concerns you,” I hiss, turning to head up the steps when the dragon chuckles, making me pause.

“Enjoy it now because you’re going to be sobbing in the next timeline.”

I hear the smirk in her voice, but there’s also a hint of hope that what she says will come true.

I slightly turn my head, but not enough to look at her. “I suppose that would make you happy?”

“Yes, because it will mean you’re back to your old self. What you are now… I can only describe it as the culmination of your anger. In turn, your magic is feeding off of that. The power feels good, doesn’t it? Us Magic Whisperers lived in it for  _ years _ , so I don’t blame you for falling into it, too. Just be back to normal in the next timeline.”

Her tone isn’t judging or patronizing like I’m a little kid throwing a tantrum. Instead, it’s oddly  _ understanding _ , like she sees why this is happening and believes it is for the best.

“I make no promises,” is all I say, hoping the uncertainty will make her uncomfortable. Why not make someone who’s so sure about everything wonder about the possibilities?

“You know,” she starts again when I make it up a few steps. “I’ve looked through the memory when you were whipped so many times. I know how it felt for you and I know that it’s haunted you ever since. But like everyone else, I kept forgetting it happened to you in the first place. Being able to see the damage you carry is a harsh reminder. Give that bitch some real hell, Perseverant. It’s the least she deserves.”

The dragon’s words make me smirk. “Will do,” is all I say as I stride up the steps, leaving her behind with only a single goal.

It helps me formulate a vague plan as I travel up all the staircases and through the back rooms, hearing nothing but my own echoing footsteps. Chara will no doubt use the lives of the monsters against me. She’ll hope they’ll be enough to get me to stand down. Even yesterday, that probably would have been the case, but today, there’s a different Krista traveling these halls. One who doesn’t fear the smallest possibilities, and one who will actually defeat her enemy.

When I finally make it to the area behind the stage, I pause to listen to the City, wondering what state it’s currently in. As far as I can tell, it just sounds busy. Chara’s not giving some big speech and there’s no Mettaton performance… but what if she left? What if she’s all the way in Waterfall to accomplish something I didn’t even think about?

I bite my lip and search with my magic, refusing to believe that. She wants me  _ here _ , leading me to believe her intentions are the same as mine. Either one of us is going to die today or we’ll both destroy each other. To be honest, I feel like I’ve already destroyed myself, but if I die, I’ll get what I deserve.

I’m about to step out onto the stage when I hear a surprised yelp behind me, and I turn to see  _ Mettaton  _ of all people step back in surprise.

“ _ Krista _ , darling… what happened to you?” he asks, sounding practically heartbroken.

Oh great, now I have to explain this to the least understanding being in the Underground. “I’ve been like this since before you even met me; it didn’t concern you when we met and it shouldn’t concern you now,” I snap, hating that he’s wasting my time as I try to keep my focus on searching for Chara. I wanted to step out since I doubt she’s near the stage, but there’s no point in revealing myself while I have this  _ problem _ . Then again… maybe I can use him to my advantage.

“Why did you keep such a great secret from me?” Mettaton asks, genuinely hurt.

I roll my eyes, “Look, we’re not friends. You’re a self-centered, egotistical robot who only cares about himself with no awareness of how others feel. Why would I ever confide in you the truth about my past when you wouldn’t care anyway?”

“That’s not true,” he argues when I feel a bite of pain suddenly dig into my SOUL. I hiss and my head snaps back to the stage, knowing that could have only been Chara. My magic is invisible when I search, but I guess she was able to sense it and attack as a “hello.”

“Look, if you feel so betrayed, then I’ll tell you a secret now, okay?” I say, turning back to his horrified face.

He squints at my offer, “What?”

“You know the princess that magically showed up out of nowhere?”

“The one who wanted a performance?”

“Yes, well didn’t you notice she’s a Determination human? Aren’t you programmed to kill them?”

“Yes, but I’m also programmed to never harm royalty. I couldn’t hurt her if I wanted.”

I guess it shows what little merit  _ my  _ “royal” blood means. It also shows that I can’t use him as an ally. But… I could use him to lessen Chara’s shield against me. I’m not entirely careless of the lives of others just because I want to hurt her. “Well guess what? She’s here to kill all monsters. That’s my secret, and if you want to be useful, then I suggest you help get the citizens out of the City.”

Mettaton turns his head in question. “And Krista darling, why should I believe that if you’ve kept so many other secrets from me? What if you have ulterior motives and I should protect the princess from you instead?”

“You wanna know another secret?” I ask, my anger rising back to the surface. “ _ She _ is the one who did  _ this _ ,” I gesture to my back, “to me. There are a million other things I’m sure you want to ask about, but if you want  _ anyone  _ to live, then you’ll shove your questions away and  _ listen  _ to me.”

His metal eyebrows furrow in thought and hurt, as if I’m a stranger he’s trying to decide whether or not he can trust. But it doesn’t take him long until he begins to nod, “Alright, darling, I understand. I’ll help you.”

“Not me,  _ them _ ,” I insist. “You can hate me for all I care for not sharing secrets with you. No matter what happens, only focus on them.”

I turn to head to the stage when he catches my arm. I look up with a glare only to be surprised when his pink eyes are dim with sorrow. “I hold nothing against you, darling, but please be safe.”

“I make no promises,” is all I say as I pull my arm out of his grasp and walk out onto the stage.

I don’t go far, only enough that I have a full view of the City, and I immediately spot  _ her _ .

Chara stands in the center of the courtyard below the steps, surrounded by what could nearly be a hundred monsters. She must have gotten closer ever since she bit at my magic with her own.

Unlike the drastic change in my presentation, she looks the same as ever in that damn bright green dress with matching boots and yellow leggings. But now that I’m this close and aware of what I’m capable of, I finally see the illusion. She hasn’t changed from the basic green shirt with one yellow stripe and brown pants. As much as she yearns to look like a queen, she’s unable to escape the chains of the appearance she had when she died.

The thought gives me even more confidence as I walk to the center of the stage, pausing right at the edge of the steps to stare her down. To me, it feels like she’s the only one here, giving us an abandoned City as the arena we’ll tear each other apart in.

Chara pretends not to notice me at first. She talks to the monsters around her like an esteemed celebrity they’ve loved for years, as if she’s never had anything but love in her heart for her “citizens.” Of course, I’m certain she sees them all as potential L.O.V.E. The disingenuous act finally brings my anger to its peak, and I think of everything to fuel it even more. The times in the lab when she toyed with me, the sheer joy in her eyes when she told me what she did to my family, every single time she killed my brothers, and above all… the month of immeasurable torture.

I don’t think I’ve realized this before, but I hate her. It’s nothing like when I told Gaster I hated him. In fact, that feels so childish in comparison. Did he make me feel worthless and pathetic with the constant reminders that he was in control? Of course, but what he ultimately did, and the small handful of arguably redeemable things he’s done since, place him far below what Chara is to me.

I once thought it was possible to find something good in a person despite all the reasons they gave for me to hate them. I always clung to the hope that my father would one day turn his actions around and realize he loved his daughters. But no, I can’t find it anywhere in my heart to have mercy for Chara. Any scrap of what could be the real her under all that magic is long past saving. The best scenario for everyone is when she is dead.

Even from this distance, I see her bright smile when she finally “notices” me, and she calls out a greeting I can’t hear over the commotion around her. But with her attention suddenly diverted to the stage, the monsters around her quiet down to look at me.

“Oh, my dear pet! I never thought you’d show up!” Chara calls, holding out her arms as if I’m a precious gem she’s finally found.

The use of her favorite “name” for me clearly shows she doesn’t care who hears or knows what she’s done. The monsters are nothing more than collateral damage in her eyes, another obstacle that she hopes will throw off my focus.

“Why don’t you come down and join us? I know they’d  _ love  _ to hear about all the great times we’ve had together,” she continues.

I merely lift my chin and let go of my magic’s leash, creating a dragon behind me that’s nearly as big as the stage. I’m practically certain anyone in the City can see it.

“Aw, what’s that? Are you so lonely that you need to  _ make  _ family members now? I mean, that’s about the same as the discount ‘brothers’ you desperately clung to.”

My face remains emotionless, but the dragon snarls in anger, it’s magic too much for me to contain how I feel through it. After all, I get the feeling it embodies my hatred.

Chara takes a few steps closer to the stairs as if this is all one big  _ joke _ . “Now, I’m sure we can resolve this. Besides, I told you the performance was tonight. How am I supposed to send fireworks off in the middle of the day?”

I can’t control it anymore as my dragon lunges forward in a single flash of light, digging its teeth into her flesh and tearing her false body to shreds.

I’m not surprised that she allows it when she Loads back to the Save she must have done seconds after the monsters quieted around her. In past timelines, it seemed she was willing to let a timeline go once she was dead, but now that she’s built this one in her favor so nicely, there’s no way she’d throw it out now.

“Come on, why do you have to hold a grudge? So a couple people have gotten little injuries over the years,” she asks as if we’re old friends.

I know she’s loving the taunts, and in any other situation, I could probably manage brushing them off in favor of a strategy. But now, I’m slowly losing my own grip as I create a single sword that slices her in half.

**Load.**

She dies from spikes shooting out of the ground.

**Load.**

A needle of magic straight through her temples.

**Load.**

A spear cutting cleanly through her heart.

**Load. Load. Load. Load. Load. Load. Load. Load. Load. Load. Load. Load. Load.**

She dies over and over and over, allowing it every time, but I can’t resist the urge to attack her. I know this is part of her strategy, but I can’t argue as my magic begins to do it instinctively. I can’t help it, not only because my magic is getting out of control, but I’m also thinking over  _ everything  _ that has led here. If it wasn’t for  **her** , I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t know what it’s like to die, to feel my bones shatter and my back shredded, to feel the pain of losing everyone I love, to know how it feels to be a helpless,  _ worthless _ ,  **meaningless** creature with no reason to exist but to suffer.

**She** is the reason I know the darkest parts of myself, the reason why I’ve felt all this  _ pain  _ for  _ years _ . I was never supposed to become  _ this _ , but I am, all because I was something she could manipulate. I have always been helpless, and I’ve allowed her to do  _ so much _ to me. And maybe that’s why I hate her, because deep down, I hate myself.

I hate all I’ve fail to do, what I couldn’t stop and what has happened to me because I’ve never been strong enough. I hate all my weaknesses and insecurities that make me a burden to the people I care about. I hate that they see something worth loving in me when I can’t even see it myself. And I realize as I kill her one more time… how much I want her to fight back. This is a different form of unfairness, one in which she  _ allows  _ the “victories.” And I realize with a strong burst of anger… that she knows me so well that she knew this would tunnel me even deeper into my own hatred.

I finally see it in my magic, how it’s darkened near a scary shade of purple-black. It’s like a shadow of the real Krista, something that always followed her around but she was too afraid to accept. I never realized what kind of darkness my life’s events would place in me, so much anger and hatred that I’ve never embraced. Now, I can finally let go of every fear. Every sense of hesitance for the sake of others, every little sorrow that makes me crumble into a ball of helplessness, I shove it all away. I’ve always wanted to be better, and this is my first real opportunity.

Chara Loads once more and I keep my magic contained this time, feeling it writhing like a furious viper in need to sink its fangs into an unsuspecting victim.

“Did you tire yourself out?” she asks sweetly.

I cross my hands behind my back and begin to travel down the steps with cold calculation, spotting Mettaton at the back of the crowd around Chara. He says something to a monster and they tell the person next to them before slowly backing away from the group. That will make this easier, and thankfully, Chara is so transfixed with my entrance that she doesn’t look away the tiniest bit.

“I believe you’d prefer a fair fight,  _ Determination _ ,” I say, pausing at the midpoint of the steps.

“I don’t know, I think your tantrums are quite amusing. Please, kill me one more time just so you can feel a final victory.”

She gives me a little bow, mocking as well as challenging me. I only stare her down and wait, slightly glancing up to see nearly half the crowd has left by now.

Chara giggles and straightens out of her bow. “Oh, my simple little pet, even when you go to such lengths to prove you’re strong, you still can’t refuse that little part of you that screams to help others. It’s endearing, but it’s also why you lose so often. If I had cared about Asriel more than my goal, I wouldn’t have even considered going to the Surface in the first place. When it came down to it, I knew he didn’t have the guts to kill those humans, but it was admittedly unexpected how strong he resisted my control. I can only assume you killed him to get to me?”

My face reveals nothing, but she’s smart enough to know her question is rhetorical. At least I’m a good enough distraction; now only Mettaton stands in the courtyard, looking at me in concern.

_ Get out of here, you idiot _ , I want to scream, but it doesn’t matter as Chara whips around and grabs his SOUL.

“Hmm, it’ll be nice to get my L.O.V.E back up. It’s been excruciating having to do everything practically at Level One,” Chara says, crushing the robot’s SOUL to dust and leaving nothing but a pile of meaningless metal.

She turns back to me and raises an eyebrow as she creates her menu and Saves. “Now tell me, why weren’t you good enough to stop that from happening? Why is it that even now, with your black dress, which by the way looks horrible on you, I still see the same helpless creature that bowed to me for a month?”

Her words finally  _ break  _ the leash on my magic, and I send it full force with the intention of destroying her SOUL. This time, though, she finally defends with a brilliant shield of red.

I begin to walk down the steps to get closer to her, hoping the intensity of my magic is enough to make her back up, but she stands her ground.

“What do you hope to accomplish, my pet?” she asks, smiling like this is still all a game. “You haven’t  _ really  _ changed; you still don’t understand how miserable life can be. Is it me you’re trying to fight? Or is it yourself? I think deep down, you  _ want  _ to know what it would be like to rule. You want to hurt others, but you need the proper direction. If only my offer still stood.”

She twists her shield and makes it uppercut into my magic, throwing me off guard enough that my onslaught diminishes, but she’s given me exactly what I want. That small attack on her part is enough to give me a second’s worth of surprise, and I leap off the final step to bring a sword straight down on her head. Chara creates a burst of red to protect herself, but I feel the impact against her forehead as I flip over and hit the ground behind her.

I look up and see a thin trail of blood from her hairline to her jaw that thickens as the fluid begins to stream. I expect the injury to heal, but the blood only increases as it drips down to stain her shirt.

“I thought you were too good to bleed,” I smirk, lunging forward for another attack. But then I feel her reach for my SOUL and I throw out a frantic burst of defense, enough to make her step back. “You really think you can control me  _ again _ ?”

“Of course I can,” she leaps forward and snares a hand around my throat, throwing me face-down to the ground so she has a full view of my back. Now she’s  _ really  _ using her magic, enough to subdue my violent defenses and make me struggle to push myself back to my feet. 

“You’ve just been  _ begging  _ for this, haven’t you?” she snarls, gripping my bun to hold me in place as she slices from my right collarbone all the way down to the lower left of my back. I scream and throw everything I can at her, enough that I break free from her grip and she’s thrown across the courtyard. I straighten and feel that my hair has come completely undone, but I don’t care, nothing about me matters here. 

Chara stands and creates little dots of red light that she twirls above her fingers. “You really thought you could be poetic? When are you going to learn that you _ can’t win _ ?” she says, revealing some of her anger.

I create a sword along with two vipers that slither toward her, no longer caring about  _ what  _ I use to kill her as I walk across the empty courtyard. “I don’t care as long as you learn what it means to  _ suffer _ ,” I say, ignoring the piercing pain every step creates in my back; I’m used to it.

“Have you ever considered that you will destroy yourself in the process?” she smirks, enjoying the sight of what she’s made me become.

“I already have,” I conclude, sending the vipers at her in the blink of an eye. She digs those dots of light into them, but not before one gets a good bite into her leg. I make the pain of the bite linger like venom, glad that it’s enough that the illusion of her dress is completely gone.

With the distraction, I’m close enough that I sprint for her, ready to slice her head off when red marble suddenly shoots out of the ground, accelerating her up into the air like those columns Mettaton used during a performance. I can’t help my faint scream of frustration as I realize what she’s doing. This will get all the monsters’ attention; it will make this seem like some big performance. But I ignore my ounce of concern, knowing it’s exactly what she wants to keep me distracted. None of this matters, anyone who gets hurt or involved will forget it all soon. I only have one intention, and she is not going to have her way  _ again _ .

I create my own platform and shoot up to her height, unable to make mine look like real marble, but it doesn’t matter. It’s just another one of her taunts that say she’s  _ better _ .

I notice in my peripheral vision that we’ve caught the attention of some of the monsters, but I don’t care as I leap for her, abandoning all reason with the singular need to make her hurt.

Chara smoothly blocks my sword with one of her own, smirking at me behind the glow of her red light. At first, I just think it’s another taunt, but then I realize her trick when she takes a step back and the red marble beneath me disappears. It throws off my focus as I catch myself with my own magic, looking up to see she’s stepped even farther away. She wants to get into the City streets; it’s the best way to gain everyone’s attention. Unless I want to lose, I’ll have to play along just to reach her.

I send spears at her from behind, distracting her enough that I create a straight path that overlaps her own as I sprint for her. Chara ducks and I grab one of the spears as they pass me, leaping for her and getting a clean block with a staff of red light.

“Perhaps we could settle this in a more positive manner?” she teases before flipping the staff and shoving me off the path.

I catch myself before I even have time to think and accelerate upwards, seeing that she keeps moving back towards the streets with every opportunity she gets. I hold back a hiss of frustration and create the riskiest idea I could possibly test with my magic. But there’s no time to think, and I’ve lost the emotion of fear.

I merely leap off my platform and catch myself with something entirely different: the back of a dragon entirely made out of my magic. It’s the same premise, no wonder it works.

I send my dragon straight for her column of marble that’s expanding into a wide tower right near the castle, unsurprised when she begins to throw flames of red light. I struggle to maneuver my dragon, as I have to keep in mind how I’ll turn based on which way the wings go. I’m able to dodge the first few flames, but as they become more numerous, I feel them dig into my magic like acid. The little bites in the attacks begin to grow, digging through my magic and towards my SOUL. But I reach her just in time as my dragon diminishes and I hit her tower of marble, somersaulting onto the smooth surface and instinctively blocking when she brings an ax down for my head.

“If you asked nicely, I could be inclined to Reset right now,” she taunts, cutting deeper into my defenses. “From one simple girl to another, you’ll be glad to know you’ve taken away  _ my  _ reason for continuing this timeline. So please, give up your little tantrum and we’ll call it even until next time. This  _ really  _ isn’t worth the effort.”

I shove her back with an explosion of anger, allowing my near black swirls of magic to dance at my fingertips, ready for a real punishment. Chara pushes herself up to her feet and gives me a bloody smile, making me wonder what my attack did when I see red begin to bloom near the bottom of her ribs.

“Fine, let’s get all that anger out first,” she concludes, spitting blood to her left one second and slicing my forehead the next.

I yell from the burst of pain, hitting the ground but blocking in time to keep my head on. She may not be able to teleport, but it seems she can move at the speed of light when she wants.

I dig down into my magic as she presses against my defenses, reminding myself of what led me here and what I need to finish.

Chara hisses when she’s suddenly lifted away from me, and I make the dragon I formed while she was distracted fling her into a building across the City. Her own tower of red diminishes, and I catch myself as I rise to my feet, finally seeing the stunned faces of the monsters below me. I ignore them as I see a burst of red from the ruined building, and Chara steps onto a platform. Only, she doesn’t sprint to attack me, she creates a path that she calmly walks along to get to me, leaving just enough space between hers and mine that I can’t jump on it. 

I consider making another dragon when I realize she’s saying something… and all the monsters are listening below her. The act makes me bite my lip in frustration, no doubt she’s telling all sorts of lies about me. I need to end this  _ now _ .

I overlap her path with my own magic and smoothly walk to meet her, eventually picking up on her words.

“And so, my dear citizens, I must leave you again. Captain Undyne will be left in charge of the monarchy, and hopefully, she will destroy this murderous  _ human _ ,” Chara says dramatically.

_ That’s it. _

I sprint to reach her and she allows it, not fighting at all as I grip her throat and slam her into my magic. She doesn’t make a sound, only smiles as I start to pick up on the protests of the monsters below.

“And now the world will resent you,” she smirks, blood filling her mouth as she speaks.

“I’ll make sure they know that  _ you  _ created me,” I hiss.

She only giggles before coughing a little, “Good luck with that,  _ pet _ .”

The final insult makes me shove her over the edge, and she accepts her fate, hitting the ground below with a sickening  _ thud _ . It makes me feel no sense of victory or triumph, just emptiness as I begin to hear the monsters more clearly.

“The Angel of Death!”

“So  _ that’s  _ what the prophecy was about!?”

“That human killed the entire Royal Family! What are we going to do?”

“Where is Captain Undyne!?”

Of course they don’t recognize me, and of course this is what Chara wanted. It’s probably what she  _ planned  _ to happen, and as always, I fell for it.

“Krista!” I suddenly hear from the street and I spot Undyne with the most horrified expression I’ve ever seen on her. Other Royal Guards fill the street, shoving citizens back and urging them to go home.

“Let’s talk about this!” the captain urges, waving me down.

I listen and lower my platform down to the cobblestone street, glad that it’s almost just her and I on it now that most of the spectators have left.

“What…  _ happened _ ?” she struggles to ask, cautiously approaching me like a rabid animal. “Why would you do that to the princess? And… did you…” she can’t get the rest of the words out.

“No, I did  _ not  _ kill Asgore or Toriel, but Asriel/ Flowey on the other hand…” I trail off as I start to feel the pain in my wounds, and I pull my hair over a shoulder to distract myself. It’s already matted from the drying blood on my back, and a handful of strands remain stuck to my skin.

“W- why?” she sputters, at a loss for words for probably the first time in her life.

“Why should I explain when you’ll probably defend  _ her _ ?” I snap, about to turn away when a monster enters the street behind Undyne: Papyrus.

Damn it all, I didn’t want to deal with him like this, and now that he can remember… I’ve really stabbed myself in foot in every conceivable way.

“Krista?” Papyrus asks, coming up to Undyne’s side just as cautiously as she approached me. “Where’s Sans?”

Hearing my other brother’s name makes me want to tear my wounds open even more as a punishment for what I couldn’t stop. I should fall apart into a sobbing mess, but instead, I can’t help biting out a slanted insult. “This is why he didn’t want you to remember.”

The bone above Papyrus’ eyes furrows like brows as he immediately understands my implication, but Undyne doesn’t. “What’s  _ that  _ supposed to mean? Just freaking explain one thing to me!”

_“She killed him!”_ I scream, pointing at Chara’s crushed corpse. Even though it’s technically not true, she did, in a sense, and the thought sends me tumbling down into everything I’ve wanted to say to those who can’t remember. I know it’s hateful and it isn’t Undyne’s fault… but _I_ _just can’t take it anymore_.

“I’ve been fighting her for  _ years _ , and she always wins! She’s taken  _ everything  _ from me, and she can get away with it because I’ve never been good enough! You want to know what’s brought me to  _ this _ ? What’s made me a monster to the point that I just want it all to end? It’s  _ her _ ! And do you know what any of that  _ feels  _ like? Do you want to know just how many times I’ve been ripped to shreds until I want to  _ beg  _ for death? No, you’ll never understand because you have the bliss of forgetting. So don’t corner me and demand answers, I keep giving all that I can to stop her and nothing changes. You want all the violent details? Go ask a Magic Whisperer, they’ll make it a tale that’s worth your time.”

I turn to head down the alley to my right, having no clear destination, just the need to get  _ away  _ in case I fall to pieces. Blood runs down my face and back in a steady stream, but I barely feel it as a numbness takes over my body. I guess it must be my adrenaline wearing off or maybe the use of so much magic has drained me to the point of feeling nothing. I don’t even notice that Papyrus has put a hand on my shoulder until he steps in front of me on the outskirts of the City.

I lunge out of his grip and give him a glare, not regretting the action even though I should.

“ **What** ?” I snap, barely seeing my brother, just someone getting in my way.

“Calm down,” he says in a voice far more forgiving than I deserve. “Please, just take a deep breath and close your eyes for a couple seconds.”

“So all the Royal Guards can kill me while I’m distracted?” I snap.

The skeleton sighs and wraps his arms around himself, as if he’s refraining from touching me. “Krista, do you even  _ see  _ me? Do you know who I am?”

I scoff, “What kinds of question are  _ those _ ?”

“The kinds that want the real you to come back,” he says, sounding more sad this time. “I’m not your enemy; she’s gone. I’m not going to judge or ask a bunch of questions. I just want you to get back to the real  _ you _ .”

I squint at him as if my brain can’t process his words, and I feel the remaining rush of my anger burrow back down into the darkness it belongs in. I look down at my hands and see them stained with blood as the wisps of my magic fade from near black back to a familiar dark purple.

_ Oh God _ … what did I do? What did I allow myself become? Was  _ that  _ getting too caught up in my magic… or was it something as simple as  _ anger _ ? I bite my lip and shake my head before finally looking up at my brother, feeling the strange coldness behind my eyes warm with the sudden heat of shame.

“I just keep failing you two every time, don’t I?” I ask, not quite meeting his eyes.

He reaches for me and I immediately step back, unwilling to accept any kind of comfort now… because I don’t deserve it.

“Krista… it’s not that bad. You didn’t hurt anyone except the people who were trying to hurt you, right?” he tries to reason.

“True… but that doesn’t excuse anything,” I conclude, turning away from him and walking towards the elevators. I have an idea of where I want to go, but it will all be a matter of getting away from him.

“Wait,” he calls, trying to catch my arm, “you’re hurt.”

“You think I care?” I snap, turning to face him again. The pain in his face would be enough to break my heart if it wasn’t such an ice block at the moment. “Here’s something you need to remember about me, little brother. If I’m injured, then I damn well deserve it. In fact, you should be happy I’m like this because it provides some justice for Sans.”

My voice breaks on my brother’s name and I look away, feeling  _ really  _ close to the edge of a meltdown.

“Krista,” Papyrus says with a gentleness anyone would use with a newborn kitten, “what did you realize in the last timeline?”

I raise an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“What did your mom help you remember?”

My throat tightens as he calls me out, and I back away a couple steps. This timeline wasn’t a true exercise of my power; it was a regression back into my seemingly endless anger and self-hatred. Honestly, can I  _ ever  _ move forward? Will there ever come a day when I actually  _ like  _ the girl I see in the mirror? 

“I think the hardest part for you is that you don’t want to remember it. Self-worth is your greatest battle, and you’ve always needed someone to help you remember that you  _ do  _ matter,” Papyrus says with wisdom beyond his year.

I feel like he’s cornered me, and I glance up at his expectant eyes that ask for me to concur. It  _ is  _ true, but I’m not sure if I have the strength to admit it. Asking for help seems like both the strongest and weakest thing I could do. But the least I owe him is that admittance; it’s the closest thing I could say to an apology at a time like this.

I try to form the words in my mind when I feel the twinge of a Reset approaching, taking me out of this conversation but placing me in one arguably more difficult.


	32. Separated Again

I leap off the couch before I even feel myself wake up, desperate to get out of the house before the boys stop me. I reach the front door only to have Sans appear in front of me; the sudden sight of him makes me lunge back and hit the ground.

“Was it that bad without me?” he tries to joke, holding out his left hand to help me up, but the gesture just makes me crawl back, terrified that he’ll learn what I did if he touches me.

His eyes darken with concern, and he cautiously follows me. “Okay, bad joke. Seriously, what happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say dismissively as I push myself up to my feet. “The only thing that matters is how sorry I am for how fast my failure was.”

Sans sighs, “I know there was more to the timeline after me. Why won’t you explain?”

“It will only bring more pain,” Papyrus says, now at the bottom of the steps when I didn’t even notice him sneak down.

“Did Chara hurt you?” Sans asks our brother, even more concern darkening his eyes.

“It was indirect for me,” Papyrus admits, his eyes cautiously looking to me in hopes I’ll be willing to explain.

“No,  _ you  _ tell him what happened,” I demand, knowing I won’t be able to go through with it unless I break down. “You think it’ll be worse for me to say it anyway.”

“That’s kind of the point,” Papyrus says softly. “If you face it, you won’t spend the next few months tearing yourself apart over it.”

My left hand grips my right forearm as I hesitate, so fearful of facing my actions and explaining them to the only two people who  _ might  _ still tolerate me after they know everything. There’s no way out; they already know I’m a miserable being who makes terrible choices. What’s one more incident to add to the list?

I bite my lip and step even farther away from them, unable to look them in the eyes as I explain the elaborate presentation of a Krista that’s a part of me, but she hasn’t been powerful enough to reveal herself until now. 

“Maybe it was my magic or maybe it was my anger, either way… the timeline had lost all its meaning to me, so why not ‘make the most of it’ by hurting her?” I admit, staring at the floor as I explain it all.

I’m surprisingly able to keep my composure, but shame makes my cheeks burn when I name the points that weren’t  _ really  _ me. It just shows how weak I truly was to fall into my anger like the irresponsible child I am. 

When I finish explaining all that I can think of, I finally glance up at them to see their faces, expecting at least Sans to be angry with me. But both of their faces only convey understanding… as if they know what it’s  _ like _ .

“You don’t have to pretend it’s okay because it  _ isn’t _ ,” I insist, hating that they won’t punish me for something that was clearly wrong in every aspect. “All I’ve ever heard are warnings about falling into the dangerous combination of magic and anger, and I didn’t even fight it.”

Sans raises an eye socket like I believe a misunderstanding. “Yeah? I did the same thing a long time ago.”

“ _ Really _ ?” I ask, unable to think of a single scenario when my brother was anything but in control of his magic.

“It was after the first time you died,” he says bluntly, smacking me with a sharp reminder that he’s not as different from me as I want to believe. “I didn’t think either; I was blinded by anger and a need to make Flowey hurt. I did something arguably worse by taking  _ Determination  _ of all magic to ensure he died. You keep thinking you don’t deserve us because you want to believe we’re perfect in comparison to you. When in reality, we’ve been trying to take lessons from you ever since we met.” 

“What do you mean?” I ask, looking to Papyrus with genuine confusion.

His smile sparks a little bit of happiness back into my anxious heart. “Sure we have our own personality traits that make us capable of being nice to people. But we didn’t know anything about navigating the world or how society works. We’d be really lost without you, and I know I’ve followed your lead more than a few times in figuring out how to interact with others. We all make mistakes, and who we are fighting now has definitely forced us out of our normal lives. After all that’s happened, getting caught up in dark emotions was bound to happen, but part of that is because we haven’t all been working  _ together _ .”

Papyrus gives Sans a pointed look and he slightly ducks his head at the reminder of leaving our brother in Snowdin.

“So from now on, we all stick together through this,” Papyrus says with his classic confidence, something I didn’t know how much I needed until now.

“Agreed,” Sans says, guilt inching into his tone.

The concept sparks an idea in my head, something I probably would have never considered before. But now… why not give it a chance?

“Krista?” Papyrus asks, waiting for my answer.

“I think we need a lot more people than just us if we want to win,” I say, realizing how sudden and seemingly off-topic the suggestion is after a conversation that only meant our family.

“So you’re finally willing to share the fight?” Sans asks, his tone lightly teasing and somewhat intrigued.

“Not with too many people, but what about Undyne? We can use parts of our original plan to get Chara to the room before the Barrier, but when she’s there, we’ll ambush her. She wouldn’t expect me to work with several people, especially not after the last timeline.”

I can’t hide my guilt in the last sentence, but I’d like to think that it shows I’m back to the real me.

“So it’s basically our original plan but with more people helping?” Sans asks.

“Do you think it’s too simplistic?” 

“Honestly, no, because we’ll have more support. We’ll just need to look out for Flowey or Asriel or whatever she’s done with him, and I am going to make sure to keep a greater distance. Her obsession with controlling SOULs seems to be one of her favorite strengths, which means I don’t think I should risk getting as close as I have in the past.”

“There’s a ground rule,” I point out, “only  _ I  _ get close to her.”

Papyrus is about to object when I say, “I won’t get  _ too  _ close either, but it’s going to be harder to get her SOUL if I’m five yards away. What I need you to do is put all of your sparring skills to use so we can both stay alive and keep her defensive.”

Papyrus nods in agreement with my reasoning, seemingly glad that I have no intentions for him to attack Chara. I couldn’t ask that of him even if I thought it would be necessary.

“So when are we going to do this?” Sans asks, seemingly eager to test this plan with a real fighting chance.

“Considering how unpredictable she is when leaving the Ruins, I say we recruit Undyne now and prepare for Chara to leave as soon as possible. It might be better that only one person goes to Undyne so two can keep watch for Chara. Since no one is going to be out at this time, I’d say it’s best just to wait at the edge of town rather than going all the way to the Ruins doors,” I reason.

“So who’s going to persuade her?” Papyrus asks.

I’m about to suggest that he does it when Sans says, “Krista.”

I raise an eyebrow, “Why me?”

“Not only was this your idea, but you need to do something different from waiting for Chara. Seriously, how many timelines has that been your first priority?”

I guess he’s right, but he’s basing it more on hope that it will do me some good rather than my persuasion skills. However, I get the sense that he wants to talk to Papyrus anyway. I realize this forces me to give up some of my control. After deciding everything on my own for so long, accepting Sans’ decision means I’m actually working on this with him. Does that mean I’m kind of getting better at relying on others? 

“Fine, it’s a plan,” I conclude.

Sans exaggerates a shocked face and I roll my eyes. “What?”

“I didn’t expect you to agree so easily,” he smirks.

“Maybe it’s because I’ve run out of reasons to fight you,” is my only response, walking around him and Papyrus to head upstairs. “Be ready in ten.”

When I reach the attic, I shut the door and lean against it, soaking in the silence of this room. I just need a minute to clear my head, to focus and regain my footing. Chara has messed with me so much that all the long-term damage she’s caused is starting to bite back fiercer than normal. I feel the pinch in my right shoulder blade, the heaviness under my eyes from using so much energy, and there’s that heavy ache in my heart that’s unsure of how long I can keep going like this.

I’m  _ tired _ , but there are so many people relying on me. If I step back for a single timeline, then it will be the one in which she finally wins.

I push off the door and rub my eyes, nearly stumbling across the room to my dresser. I grab the first shirt I see before shoving the drawer shut, glad that it’s midnight blue with silver flowers and cherry blossoms. I don’t remember the last time I wore this one; then again, its differences are pretty subtle from my other dark blue shirt.

I get changed and wash my face, afraid to look in the mirror as if I’ll see a different person staring back. I put on everything I would on a normal day without thinking: the necklace, the bracelet, my coat. But before I leave the room, I can’t help but catch my reflection and I stop, slowly approaching it like a wild animal.

I try to compare it with all the other Kristas I’ve seen: the experiment in the lab, the girl who walked out of it, the princess in a gold gown, and the Perseverant who survived a month of torture. What makes me different  _ this  _ time?

I’ve never seen a difference in my face itself other than the subtle losses and gains in weight that either hollow out my eyes or subdue my cheekbones. My eye color has remained the same; although I get the feeling it has its tricks when I’m not looking. But other than that, there’s always a changing… essence I’ve seen each time.

In the lab, I only saw hopelessness. After I escaped, there was loneliness. In the gown, I finally saw confidence, but after the torture, there was a stranger.

Now… I frown at my reflection, unsure of this Krista I see. She’s made more mistakes than any of the others; she’s learned and survived more than them. But is she truly better than them? Has she taken her new knowledge and used it to improve her life? Even if I tried to defend myself, I’m pretty sure the answer would still be  _ no _ .

I take a deep breath and turn away from the mirror, tired of staring myself in the face and not seeing anything useful. Maybe I’ll never be content with the girl I see; maybe she’ll always disappoint me in some way. However… does that really matter in comparison to what the people who love me think? Shouldn’t their opinions matter more to me than my own? Still… I need my own motivation in order to find the best version of myself, but I’m not sure if it’s even possible to reach her.

I head downstairs and get a pear shoved in my face the second I step into the main room. I take it and raise an eyebrow at Sans, unsure why he’s being so understanding. Not only did I fail to save him in the last timeline, but I also became a despicable creature fueled by hatred. Why isn’t he angry?

“Is there a reason why you’re being so ridiculously caring?” I ask, unable to resist taking a bite out of the pear. I feel like I haven’t eaten or slept in  _ weeks _ .

“Is there really a point when I know you’re beating yourself up anyway?” he asks, munching on a peach.

I shrug, “I guess not, but I feel like you’re letting me off too easily.”

“Look, we’ve all made mistakes in trying to deal with this, and I know it’s been hurting you the most. I think I’ve said and done all I can to show that I don’t hold anything against you. The only person you really need to have a talk with about this is yourself.” 

He turns away and heads into the kitchen, not realizing how much of an impact his words have on me. The idea of being kind to myself has always lingered at the back of my mind, but it’s always felt too selfish. It’s also felt impossible considering there’s too many things I need to hold myself accountable for.

“I think you’re being too nice,” I can’t help but mumble, not expecting him to hear.

A sharp laugh snaps from the kitchen and he comes back without the peach. “You want me to be harsh? Fine, here it is: you need to  _ forgive yourself _ . That’s the only way you’ll feel better. The only person who is holding all that’s happened against you is yourself. I don’t know how much it is, but you need to figure it out at some point. I think that’s the only way you’ll actually begin to feel better.”

My throat tightens from hearing the truth and imagining how I’d even begin to work towards that.

“I’m not sure if that’s even possible,” I whisper.

“I think you can do it,” he says wholeheartedly. “You just need to figure out the root of what you still blame yourself for.”

He pats me on the shoulder as I hear Papyrus’ door open and he strides down the stairs.

“All ready?” my taller brother asks and I nod.

They leave the house before me and I turn back to see Cody lying on his bed, giving me a look of uncertainty. I’m sure he’s heard everything, but he’s kept his distance as usual.

“Do you want to come along?” I ask him, figuring I can just drop him off at the house on the way back.

Cody launches off his bed and races over, wagging his tail like we’re going on a fun-filled adventure. I’m glad that he’s at least happy, although it might be an act to make me feel better.

“I’ll meet you guys at the end of town,” I tell my brothers, locking the front door and tucking the key in my back pocket.

“Do you have a time estimate?” Sans raises an eye socket.

“However long you can imagine it’ll take to convince Undyne,” I shrug, knowing he’ll get that there’s no telling how long it will be. Knowing her, it will be either two minutes or two hours.

“Be safe,” Papyrus says, his eyes holding concern as if  _ I’m  _ the one going to wait for Chara.

“Be  _ safer _ ,” I insist before turning for the blizzard. If we drag out the goodbye, it’ll be like they’re preparing for me to find them dead, and I refuse to consider the possibility.

On the other side of the blizzard, I shake the snow out of my hair and travel on to Undyne’s house, surprisingly glad that I brought Cody with me. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed him, too, and he trots along at a brisk, cheerful pace, seemingly unbothered by what he undoubtedly heard earlier. I consider questioning his thoughts on all that he knows, but then I realize that there’s no point.

Besides, it’s much better to soak in the calm beauty of Waterfall than ruin it with another conversation of every terrible thing that’s happened.

When we make it across the water to the long line of docks before Undyne’s house, I can’t help but look back at the darkness of the lake behind me. There are so few Ceiling Stars here that it’s always made me uncomfortable, but is there a legitimate explanation for why it’s like that?

I shake my head and continue on, wondering if my unnecessary questioning is a good sign. That’s more like the old Krista, isn’t it?

We finally make it to the end of the docks, about to enter the patch of marsh grasses on the main path when Cody stops.

“What is it, puppy?” I whisper, searching for the SOUL of the threat when there’s nothing… which can only mean one thing.

I form a sword and nudge Cody behind me, squinting into the blue vegetation in search of bright yellow when a vine suddenly wraps around my legs and slams me into the ground. Or… more accurately, it drags me underground and I thrash for a way out, but it holds on tight. I’m able to burn a few roots as I throw out wild flashes of magic, but that’s all I’m able to do until he finally throws me aboveground once again.

I hit rough stone and cough to catch my breath. Through his magic, I wasn’t  _ exactly  _ dragged through the dirt, but it sure as hell  _ feels  _ like it.

I look around to figure out where he’s taken me, and I launch up to my feet in a panic, having no idea where I am.

It is pure darkness in every direction until I look up to see the  _ faintest  _ white Ceiling Stars. But their light isn’t enough for me to get my bearings; I still can’t even see my hands.

I’m about to form a globe of light when something sharp stabs me in the neck and I cry out, about to reach for it when vines wrap around my hands.

“Flowey!” I scream in anger, wanting to attack him when something shoves back my magic, leaving me defenseless.

I try to pull out of the grip of his vines when a familiar heaviness seizes my muscles and I collapse to my knees.

It can’t be…  _ could  _ it?

“As retribution for your crimes in the last timeline,” Flowey hisses in the dark, “Chara told me about a little jar of Determination to use against you. She said it’s  _ quadruple  _ the amount that was used on you for your second session, whatever that means. Frankly, not knowing doesn’t matter as long as I have the certainty that you’ll  _ suffer _ .”

I feel three more stabs in my neck from what I can now identify as needles. I feel the liquid poison seep its way into my bloodstream with each one, making me incredibly lightheaded from the force of something I’ve always lost a fight to.

I can’t fight the stabs as they come from every direction in the dark, and each injection shoves down my magic with more and more force. By the eighth stab, I feel so sick that I drop to lie on my side, and that’s only when Flowey stops and the vines around my arms crawl away.

He snickers, “Have fun in hell while  _ we  _ take the Underground. Maybe I’ll drag you to the Surface once we take that, too. I’m sure you’d love to see how Chara and I will redecorate.”

Flowey laughs again before I hear him drop underground, and the echoes of his voice gradually disappear. I try to push myself up, but it’s like all the strength has been drained from my muscles. I reach out my hand and attempt a globe of light, feeling my terror rise at the thought of what I can’t see in the darkness around me. But not even a glimmer of my magic appears.

I grit my teeth and feel my fingers curl into a fist. I never experienced something like this during my sessions; then again, my magic has changed a  _ lot  _ since then. Back in those days, Gaster said the Determination used my magic against me. Now, I can only think the fact that I can’t use it is that it’s trying to fight back the poison in my veins like white blood cells attacking a virus.

I  _ need  _ to get out of here, but what use am I if I don’t have any strength?

“What use have you been in  _ any  _ situation?” a familiar voice chides behind me. I flip over onto my back, seemingly back to full strength for no reason. That can only mean one thing, and the person in front of me is proof that the Determination has finally found its sweet spot.

***

Sans kept looking over his shoulder, searching for his sister’s short stature in the distance next to the towering Captain of the Royal Guard. With every minute that passed, the more anxious he became that something had gone wrong. He was fine at first, and he had a long conversation with Papyrus about everything that had happened so far. It got to the point that Sans started rambling when he wasn’t sure how to explain why he abandoned his brother in the last timeline. Now that they had sorted everything out, he wished they still had more to talk about as the silence began to wear on him.

“I don’t think she realizes how anxious she makes me,” Sans finally muttered, glancing over his shoulder once more.

“It’s only been an hour,” Papyrus reasoned. “Besides, Undyne hates it whenever someone wakes her up; I’ve learned that the hard way twice now.”

Sans nodded as if he understood, but in reality, he couldn’t accept Papyrus’ excuse. If anyone besides his brother could convince Undyne to help with a problem, it was Krista. And with an issue like the one they were facing, Undyne would nearly be sprinting to offer her spears in a fight. The fact that they weren’t there yet meant something must have happened. 

Hearing about the last timeline set Sans on edge even more. He always wondered if Krista would fall prey to her magic mixed with her anger, but he didn’t think his death would be the catalyst. Even after all they talked about, Sans still had to address his lingering concerns for his sister.

“Just how bad was she in the last timeline?” Sans murmured, unable to keep the question contained.

Papyrus frowned, “Pretty bad, I don’t think she even saw me for a short time. She just looked so… _angry_... and sad. I didn’t realize how much all that Chara’s done has gotten to her, and that’s why I don’t blame her for what she did. Without us to help, Krista went back to relying on any strength she could use. I just wish I could have been there earlier to calm her down. Even though she didn’t hurt any good people, I can tell she still regrets it.”

Sans winced as he immediately blamed himself for the pain his siblings encountered. If he hadn’t left Papyrus in Snowdin… maybe they would have resolved the issue of Chara by now. But it wasn’t something they needed to keep agonizing over. The timeline was done, and they were now all on the same page. This was a fight they would win together, and all the pain they had been through brought them closer. He hoped the majority of it was finally in the past.

Sans looked over his shoulder again and tensed in apprehension when he saw Cody running towards them. There was no scenario in which him being alone was a good sign.

The puppy stumbled to a stop at the boys’ feet, panting wildly as he offered his SOUL to give an explanation.

“We were almost to Undyne’s house when Flowey dragged Krista underground. I have no idea where he took her,” Cody said, his voice sounding miserably defeated.

“Do you think he took her to Chara?” Papyrus asked.

“It could have been anywhere in the Underground for all we know,” Sans hissed, hating that something went wrong in  _ every single timeline _ .

“What do we do?” Cody asked.

“We have to find her,” Papyrus said.

“No,” Sans snapped, hating the denial but knowing it was for the best. “For whatever reason he did it, I can guarantee that it’s some sort of trap. If we go looking for her, we’ll probably end up getting caught, too. If we stay here, at least we’re prepared in familiar territory.”

“So we’re just going to  _ leave  _ her?” Cody argued.

“Do you even know where to start looking?” Sans countered. The puppy’s ears lowered at that, admitting he had no idea. “Exactly, so we stay here and stick to the plan, even without the girls.”

“But wouldn’t it at least help to have Undyne here to fight?” Papyrus cautiously asked, sensing his brother’s growing anger.

“Like I said, if we even enter Waterfall, it’s a guarantee that Flowey will take advantage of the situation. If we stay in one spot, we have a better chance at fighting back.”

Sans knew his explanation wasn’t very strong, and the deeper reasons for his hesitation were certainly based in fear more than logic. He was afraid that they  _ would  _ find Krista and she’d already be dead. Or they’d find her imprisoned by Chara, dying and only kept alive long enough to watch her family die first.

The potential horrors were endless, but the one hope he could hold was that Chara decided to travel through Snowdin rather than use Flowey to take her somewhere else in the Underground. If she decided to face the boys, Krista had time to get to them… if she could, and they’d win together. But if Krista was already dead… then Sans had to fight for the sake of the rest of the Underground. Either way, he wanted Chara to come to them, and how soon would they be able to face her if they went to Waterfall?

“But the whole point of our plan was to fight with more people. Do you really think we can win with just the two of us?” Papyrus asked.

Cody made a face at his exclusion, but they all knew whatever little magic he had was not meant for combat.

Sans took a deep breath, hating the admittance but knowing it was the truth. “No, it’s unlikely that we’ll win, but we still need to try, at least for the Underground.”

Papyrus frowned, unhappy with the lack of hope, but he also seemed to understand why Sans felt the way he did. “Fine, we’ll do it for all monsters.”

“Well, isn’t this sweet?” a voice called behind them and Sans tensed, knowing that spiteful trill anywhere.

They turned and faced the Determination human from across the bridge; she was dangerously close to setting foot in Snowdin Town.

“The puzzle of your family seems to be missing a jagged piece, or did you finally decide to throw it out?” Chara asked playfully.

“We all know Flowey is your real pet,  _ Chara _ . I find it insulting that you barely do any of the work yourself,” Sans faked a smirk, pretending as if this was a game, too. “Then again, I have to applaud your laziness; it’s  _ almost  _ as charming as my own.”

Chara tilted her head as if she were trying to figure out the direction he was taking. “At least  _ my  _ laziness gets more tasks accomplished, like the fact that Krista is currently being tortured by her own memories in a cave that no one will ever find.”

Sans tensed at her words, practically hearing Krista’s screams without even trying to summon his own memories of them. They were one of the many terror-inducing sounds he could never unhear; they often visited in his nightmares whenever his mind decided he needed to suffer through another round of guilt.

“Now then, are we done chatting so I can get you three out of the way?” Chara asked, striding onto the bridge as if she expected to walk right past them.

Sans let her get _ just far enough _ onto the bridge before he created two blasters underneath it and destroyed both sides. He wasn’t going to give her  _ any  _ chances to get the upper hand, and there was no point in trying to delay the fight with a conversation. All he wanted was to end her.

Chara caught herself on a platform of red magic, and Sans didn’t hesitate to send a ring of blasters around her that all fired at once. She blocked them, but he could tell it was an immense effort on her part, so he kept attacking, sending the blasters from every direction. Chara tried to dodge some of them, but Papyrus sent blue magic attacks wherever she began to step. It forced her to remain still as she held the blasters back with her magic, seemingly backed into a corner at their mercy. Sans thought they had an advantage when he distantly heard her hiss of frustration and he felt her magic lunge for his SOUL.

He tried to push back with blue magic, but it wasn’t enough as she pulled them off the cliff and down to the field of snow.

Sans wouldn’t deny his surprise at the trick, but he kept a level head and shortcutted Papyrus and Cody onto the field, slightly glad that it would give them some distance from town.

“You boys are more trouble than you’re worth,” Chara announced as she approached them down a long line of ruby steps. “However… it looks like there could be  _ some  _ value in your SOULs worth taking. I would love to use your magic in the next timeline.”

“The  _ next  _ timeline?” Papyrus asked with a sharp bite in his tone.

“Well, of  _ course _ ,” Chara smirked. “Did you think I’ve been Resetting so much because I’m embarrassed that someone killed me? No, no, every single one of them occurred just as I wanted them to, and this next one will never end because everything has  _ finally  _ fallen into place. You can put up a fight right now if you want, but I honestly don’t care who lives and who dies today. In fact, if you walk away right now, I might even consider letting you live on the Surface.”

Sans sent a blaster at her from behind and she smoothly dodged, making the stream of power impact the ground far behind them.

“No takers?” Chara asked with fake innocence. “Fine, then I see no reason to-”

Blasters surrounded her on all sides and attacked before she finished her sentence, disrupting the Determination enough that her grand staircase vanished. Smoke rose from the vaporized ground, obscuring where she might have gone, but Sans still felt the presence of her red SOUL.

He reached out with blue magic and tried to grab her SOUL, but he immediately regretted it when it felt like she used it as a tether to lunge for his SOUL instead. Sans created a barrier of bones between them as he snapped his magic out of her reach, but she sliced through his defenses with a flash of magic powerful enough to throw them off their feet.

The next thing he knew, he was standing next to Papyrus with the hood of his jacket bundled in his brother’s hand. They faced Chara in the direction that was originally to Sans’ left, and even though he had no idea how he ended up there, the threat in front of them was enough to ignore questioning it.

Chara held Cody by the scruff of his neck, her grip tight enough that it seemed like he was paralyzed as she eyed the boys.

“Flowey,” she said as if he was already there, and the flower suddenly emerged from underneath the snow. Sans nearly flinched at the thought that he had been hiding the whole time. What more did Chara have planned despite her insistence that none of this mattered to her?

“See to it that someone a little more  _ sensitive  _ witnesses the death of this puppy,” she said, tossing Cody towards Flowey’s awaiting vines.

Without warning, Papyrus reached forward and grabbed the puppy with blue magic, pulling him far from Flowey’s reach and catching him. Sans took the opportunity to shortcut them to the cavern in Waterfall with a view of the castle, glad that he was now certain where Flowey was.

“ _ Now _ we can look for her,” he said, searching the pitch-black Wastes below and immediately doubting how they were going to find Krista. With all the caves hidden beneath and beyond the main path, there was no telling where she was. And if she wasn’t at her strongest, it would be harder to find her with weakened magic.

“Maybe we should start-” Papyrus began when his voice was cut off and Sans’ eye snapped to his brother, revealing Flowey holding him in a vice grip of vines. He had dropped Cody in the process, and the puppy lied on the ground with his dead eyes staring straight ahead. They hadn’t even considered that Chara might have done something when she held him, and whatever it was led her right back to the boys.

Sans’ mind scrambled for some way to force Flowey to let go without hurting Papyrus, but he barely had a second to think when he suddenly felt the presence of the red SOUL behind him.

This time, she didn’t give  _ him  _ a chance to react when a blast of red magic flung him off the cliff. The attack was enough to make Sans black out for a split second, and he almost hit the rocks at the base of the cliff before shortcutting at the last second.

Back at the top of the cliff, he nearly screamed at the predictability of it all. Next to Cody was a pile of dust with a red scarf on top of it, and the triumphant siblings proudly stood behind the evidence of the deaths they caused.

“Didn’t I warn you?” Chara asked in a teasing voice, as if he were a child that touched a hot stove after being told not to.

Sans knew his eyes were black pits, and he forced a smile onto his face as he shoved down his grief into a controlled rage. There was no one to worry about now.

Flowey was vaporized in a second while Sans moved to attack Chara, throwing every bone attack he could think of in a concise circle around her. He could hear the Determination hiss with pain as she threw her own attacks, but Sans was far too fast for her. Killing her then and there wouldn’t have been a problem if it weren’t for his brother’s dust and Cody’s corpse. He didn’t know why it felt so wrong, and besides, the cliff was pretty narrow. So he decided to take her to a more… appropriate place, grabbing her SOUL with just enough control that he shortcutted them to the Judgement Hall.

Chara snarled and shoved his magic back, but it didn’t matter since he freely reined it in when they arrived. The Determination human appeared to be  _ slightly  _ shaking with rage, or maybe Sans was shaking since it was so much effort to keep his magic in check. But now… he let every conceivable attack fill the Hall, a declaration of  _ his power _ that he hoped even a human like her was weak enough to fear.

“Did you really think you were gonna take the world with  _ zero  _ opposition?” Sans asked, his tone sounding playful despite the seriousness of his words.

Chara appeared to force her smirk, “No, I just hoped it would be harder than this. After centuries of planning, I expected my boredom to cease once I gained a SOUL. How sad that you’ve all been so  _ disappointing _ .”

Sans’ smile widened at her lie, relishing the fact that he had finally cornered her. She was  _ really  _ grasping at straws to hurt him now that she resorted to using a word Gaster liked.

“Then I guess it’s about time you had some fun,” he replied before letting go of all control over his magic.


	33. Session (?) 3: Forgiveness

The Krista smirks down at me with hateful eyes, and the faint light in them suggests there’s something… real about her. I know it’s not the girl herself; it’s what she represents. Her outfit alone tells it all: the black dress with the heels and no jewelry. The main difference is that her hair is down instead of in a bun, and she keeps it over her shoulders so her back is exposed.

The last time I faced myself in a session, she was like a reflection of how I looked at the time. I saw her weaknesses clearly, and she was nowhere near as hurtful as I thought she’d be. This Krista, however… just looking at her is enough of a slap in the face.

Her smile widens and I get the feeling that she can read my mind. She’s a part of me, after all.

“Oh, we’ve come a long way, haven’t we?” the girl asks, her voice sounding as taunting as Chara’s.

“Who’s ‘we?’” I ask with a raised eyebrow. Even though everything is completely dark, I see her as clear as day. Undoubtedly, since she’s in my head, she sees me, too.

The Krista giggles and she begins to stride around me. “I am what you hate the most about yourself. The last time we had a chat, you hated your weaknesses. Now it seems you hate your  _ strengths _ .”

When she walks behind me, I look over my shoulder and feel my throat tighten when I see her back. It’s completely clear of scars; she’s a perfect, untouched girl who bows to no one.

“Or maybe I’m not exactly your strengths, just what gives you more strength than you ever wanted,” she smirks, allowing me to take in the sight of her perfection before she walks around to face me again.

“And what would that be?” I ask, quickly understanding what I hate about her before she even says it.

“I am your anger and hatred. The kind of monster you feared becoming before you lost all reason and decided to choose that path anyway. Isn’t that funny? What you hate the most about yourself is your own hatred. You know the power it has, and you feel that it keeps you in check from becoming selfish. You’re afraid that if you let go of it, you’ll get away with murder.”

Mable suddenly appears next to her and the Krista wraps her fingers around my sister’s shoulders.

“Mable was always where it started; you would never admit it to her, but she’s the reason you’ve always hated yourself.”

“That’s not true!” I scream, launching up to my feet and slamming against some invisible wall between us.

The Krista shakes her head in disappointment. “Yes she  _ is _ . It was never your father’s words that made you believe you deserved pain; it was because of  _ Mable _ . She was the precious one. She didn’t deserve  _ any  _ punishment, and yet she still received pain. In your eyes, not protecting her from everything made you deserve the pain even more. Call your “sacrifices” acts out of love, but it was really because she made you hate yourself. How about I show you what  _ I  _ would have done?”

The Krista creates a dagger of purple light and drags it across my sister’s throat, spraying blood on the shield between us. Somehow, Mable’s green eyes stay open and fixated on me, silently begging for help.

“Stop it,” I whisper, unable to see the difference between what’s really happening and when my father held her SOUL in his hand.

“Oh? I thought you moved past this. Don’t you believe you’re not to blame for her death?” 

“That doesn’t mean remembering it won’t hurt,” I snap, backing away.

The Krista smiles, “You can’t let it go. Admit it, you lied to Sans. You still blame yourself for everything, and you hate everything you are because of it.”

“That’s not true,” I say, just barely above a whisper. I can’t defend myself wholeheartedly because deep down… I know I haven’t let many things go.

She laughs and Mable disappears, then the embodiment of my hatred disappears, too. My eyes widen before something slams into my back and throws me forward. The invisible wall doesn’t stop me this time, and I hit the ground a far distance from where I stood. I roll to stop and quickly push myself up to face the Krista.

“What makes you think you should stop Chara, then? If you hate yourself so much, if  _ so  _ many terrible things have been your fault, why are you still here?”

The Krista disappears and her fist suddenly slams into my face from the left, throwing me off my feet once again.

“Come on!” she chides when I catch myself before my face hits the ground. A pain as sharp as a whiplash tears across my back and I scream, feeling tears squeeze out of my eyes. “Accept death then, if you’re so deserving of it!”

Her fingers suddenly dig into my hair and wrench my head up, making my heart stop when I see it’s  _ Chara  _ looking down at me. “Why won’t you give up, pet?” she asks as her nails begin to dig into my scalp.

I try to reach for my magic when the pain only deepens and I wince, wondering just how real this is.

“Where are my brothers?” is all I can manage to ask. At this point, it all feels too real, and I just need to know.

Chara smiles, “They’re nothing but dust, so is your Captain of the Royal Guard and the king himself. It’s just you and I in this world. Would you like another month of fun? I think we can both agree on how much you deserve it.”

“ _ No _ ,” a little voice inside me whispers, but it feels so wrong to deny it. There’s too much I must be held accountable for. I can’t endure enough pain to make up for everything. Death is too forgiving, too instantaneous. That’s why she always brought me back… because there was more I was meant to experience. There were never any alternatives, I was always  _ meant  _ for this… right?

Tears pour down my cheeks as her hateful face waits for an answer, and I feel those red eyes dig into my SOUL to discover every secret I’ve ever tried to keep.  _ She  _ sees what I am more than anyone else ever has. She knows every sin I’ve ever committed… so why does it feel like some part of me can’t accept this? What if I didn’t give up in that month not because I wanted to live longer to endure it… but because a part of me knew I would live to see something better?

“I’m going to take those tears as a ‘yes,’” Chara smiles before wrapping a hand around my throat and slamming me into a wall.

When my eyes open, we’re in the Throne Room, but instead of the dull colors it had when she tortured me, it’s as beautiful as the first time I saw it. The light from above is almost like sunshine, the birds chirp in the ivy, and the golden flowers have a sweet scent rather than the pungent, cloying heaviness they gained after a month of smelling them. But something feels  _ off  _ about this room, as if it’s not the same one I’ve always known.

“Where should we start?” Chara asks, immediately placing the tip of a knife just under the nail of my index finger.

I flinch back and my head slams against rock instead of ivy. The Throne Room disappears for a split second, and my heart leaps into my throat. That’s right, this isn’t real. I’m still in that cave… but I’m not sure if this is Chara.

I force myself to my feet and I try to make a sword, but the second I do brings skull-shattering pain into my temples and I fall to my knees.

“You like it?” my own voice asks and I look up to see her in front of me again. We’re not in the Throne Room anymore; we’re on the Surface in the valley between the mountain and the city. “Every time you try to fight, you will feel pain because you know you should accept your punishment. If you continue to refuse… what kind of person does that make you?”

The accusation in her voice makes my heart ache. She’s right, if I don’t accept my punishment, how selfish does that make me? Then again… when is it  _ enough _ ?

“Why do you do that?” she suddenly snaps.

“What?” I snarl back, realizing I don’t like how she comes off as a  _ better  _ version of me. Her sins are the same as mine… aren’t they? But then I think of her perfect back and I leap up to my feet, feeling a surge of anger so powerful my magic flickers back without any pain. The implication is that she let Mable take the whipping instead, and that feels  _ far  _ more unforgivable than any of my sins. Which means… I  _ do  _ believe that Mable’s death is not my fault.

“Why do you keep leaning into believing you deserve happiness?” she hisses, creating a flame of magic in her left hand. At first I think I’m seeing it wrong, but then I realize that the color is  _ red _ .

I’m not facing myself at all; it’s Determination taking every scrap of self-hatred and turning it against me. After all this time… I refuse to bow ever again.

A smirk inches onto my face, “You’re in my head.” I create a wave of purple magic and send it crashing into the image of myself, forcing her far enough back that she loses her grip on her magic. “Figure me out,  _ bitch _ .”

I feel it now, the Determination poisoning my mind, and I grab onto it like a violent bull. The Surface disappears and I’m back in that dark cave, but the trait is not so forgiving that it will let go of me now.

I feel the Determination trying to bite into my magic, but I force it back, keeping control of my power before it becomes susceptible again. But it leaves me vulnerable to the trait’s other tricks, and I scream as a burning pain wracks my entire body. I see flashes of everything I’ve ever hated myself for, and the guilt is so powerful that I can’t even stand.

Distant voices suddenly seem to whisper in my ears, taunting me to give up.  _ Why shouldn’t you surrender? What makes you Persevere? Do you really think that’s stronger than Determination? All you have ever done is lose, why would anything change now? _

I watch my family die over and over and  _ over _ . I hear their screams and pleas for mercy. I watch my failures and feel the consequences. I hear the accusations of my worthlessness, the proof that my life has no value.

It’s so much attacking me at once that I want to give in more than anything, but something holds me back, something remains strong enough that it refuses to break.

My eyes snap open as a realization hits me, suddenly calming the screams in my head. Determination has always been the most powerful because it overrules everything. It gets what it wants and leaves behind the ruins of what it destroyed to get there. There’s no remorse or questioning if what it did was wrong. Determinations don’t second-guess; they find a belief and stick with it to the end. With every timeline, they kill and spare who they want just to learn the outcomes. And why would they be bothered with their actions when everything can just be Reset?

Perseverance has always been second because eventually… it pushes past its good traits into believing the bad ones are better. It always second-guesses because it believes there must be a better reason to live, no matter how wrong it may be. It will do anything it can to continue on to receive what it thinks it deserves… and that’s what I have been doing all this time.

A sob escapes me as I finally face the core of my trait. I have been twisting it in all the wrong ways because of my guilt. As much as I’ve lied to myself in believing I’ve lived for my family, I’ve been living for myself. All because I believe I deserve the pain. I’ve been trying to fulfill those holes in my heart that believe some sort of justice must be reached for those who’ve died. Since I can only control myself, I’ve pushed on to ensure  _ someone  _ felt all the pain that should have been given to a different SOUL.

I dig my teeth into my lip as the conclusion reaches its peak, and I look up to see that version of myself staring me down once again. Then I see the Krista I was in the lab standing next to her, seeming so fragile and weak in comparison. Then every other version of myself that I can think of appears, all the way down to the seven-year-old me right after she lost her mom.

I  _ want  _ to hate all these versions of myself. I want to look them in their purple eyes and tell them they are worthless. They don’t know what real pain feels like. They’re selfish and undeserving of the little happiness they know. They should be  _ better  _ so I don’t end up in the position I’m in now. But still… they’re all the same girl that my parents and siblings loved. They’re all the same girl who found reasons to be optimistic when there were none.

I close my eyes and let the sobs tear out of me, finally understanding that this has been the hardest battle of my life.

“I forgive you,” I whisper amongst my whimpers and sharp breaths. I wrap my arms around myself and let everything go. The hatred, the guilt, the anger, all of it falls like a giant weight I’ve finally pushed off my shoulders.

I don’t want to carry it anymore. I can’t change who I am or what I’ve done. I’ve been through enough, and I can’t keep coming back to blaming and hating the girl I see in the mirror.

My parents and sister loved me without question. My brothers love me despite all they’ve seen and all they know. I have friends and a home. There is so much that could happen, and I’ve been ignoring it out of fear that it will  _ never  _ happen. But I’ve never given myself a  _ chance _ .

It’s a different battle from fighting Chara, and somehow it feels even more difficult. But I realize how much I want to see what my brothers see. I want to be the Krista who is a confident, reliable leader who takes the time to encourage other people because she believes in herself. I want to move past everything that has happened and face a new world. I want that life on the Surface: the world where monsters and humans can live in peace. I’ve just been holding myself back because I’ve been stuck on my past mistakes.

I look up and see the cave is empty once again. The Determination continues to bite, but I force myself up to my feet and wipe my tears.

I’m not going to believe it anymore. No more guilt. No more doubting myself. Not even a corner of my heart reserved for self-hatred. I know changing my entire mindset can’t happen today, but this is a start.

I don’t want to hold my failures against myself anymore; I want to resolve them and move on.

My parents and Mable are gone. Gaster is in the Void. Every timeline that has ever occurred is long gone. All I have left in the Underground are Flowey and Chara. Then the greater struggle will begin: the Surface. Can I face all of that? I want to say yes, but I can only say I’m going to try.

Warmth sparks in my heart as I realize I really do forgive myself. Moving past the self-hatred I’ve carried all these years is something I can’t do immediately, but I want to try.

Whatever Determination that continues to fight tries to bring the images of my pain back, but I surround it with nearly all my magic and obliterate what’s left. The impact of my attack sends a shockwave through my body and I drop to the ground, catching my hands on the rough stone as violent tremors run through my limbs.

Exhaustion immediately weighs on me like a heavy blanket, and I look all around me for a way out, refusing to stay here when I’m not sure what happened with my brothers. I hold up a shaky hand and create a globe of light, glad that there’s no pain when I use my magic. The only downside is how exhausted I am. I guess I underestimated how much effort it would be to get rid of that last amount of Determination.

The message comes even clearer when I feel blood begin to drip from my nose. I sigh, I guess no amount of advancement will ever make me  _ that  _ good against Determination. But I’ve certainly realized that I don’t have to be so amazing that I leave unscathed, I just have to be good enough to win.

I try to push myself to my feet, but the tremors are so powerful that I quickly drop back to my hands and knees. Okay… maybe I should first find a way out before I get moving. I take a seat on the ground and lift my globe of light, sending it straight out in front of me in hopes it will hit a wall. Unfortunately, it just keeps going until its light fades in the distance. The implication of how massive this place is sends a chill of fear through me. It  _ can’t  _ be the Void… right?

I send another globe to my left… nothing. Is it because my magic is so weakened that I’m not reaching far enough?

I look back up at those faint Ceiling Stars and squint, wondering if my magic could at least assist them. I send up a globe with as much force as I can muster, and it bursts on the ceiling like a firework, making all the Stars turn a bright shade of deep purple. As expected, there’s nothing to my far left or in front of me, but in the distance over my right shoulder… I see a wall with what looks to be an exit.

I wait a little longer for the tremors to calm down before I push myself up on shaky feet. Standing up immediately makes me dizzy, but I take deep breaths and clench my fists.  _ I can do this. _

I take it slow, and every now and then I have to pause to regain some sense of balance. Eventually, the Stars begin to fade back to white as my magic wears off, but I get close enough to the exit that I’m not afraid of losing it.

By the time my hands touch rough stone, it’s completely dark again, and I create a globe as I enter the tunnel. My light isn’t strong enough to show much farther than a few feet, but it’s enough to make sure I don’t hit anything.

With my left hand gliding against the wall and my right holding my globe, I begin the journey in what is hopefully the way back to Waterfall’s main path. That is… if I’m still in Waterfall.

The tunnel feels like it goes on for miles, and I travel without my light when I begin to feel my feet drag. Not knowing if I’m going the right way feels like it should scare me more than it does, but after everything, it almost feels like there aren’t many challenges I can’t face now.

After probably an hour, I suddenly hear water in the distance, and I create a globe again. The light reflects off little pools of water down the tunnel, and when I reach them, I see little drops consistently falling from small stalactites. Does this mean I’m getting close?

I keep going and little drops of water occasionally tap my head. For some reason, quite a few graze my ears at the same time, and I strain to listen for rushing water instead of singular drops.

My magic begins the flicker the longer I go, and I drop my light, wondering if using it is burning me out faster than usual. It feels wrong to be this tired when I didn’t fight as much as I have in the past. Then again, I’m comparing fights with Chara to literal Determination in my veins. In comparison to my past sessions or the first time I killed her, I’ve fought much more this time around.

I keep going for another few minutes when something suddenly stops me. At first, I’m not sure what it is, but then I pick up on the presence of another being in the tunnel. I can’t sense the SOUL in my current condition, but I’m aware enough that my heart begins to pick up.

I’m about to form a globe again when a voice rings, “What brought you all the way down here, my dear Perseverant?”

I sigh at Jex’s playful tone; it sounds like he missed me. “Trust me, I couldn’t have found this place even if I was looking for it.”

Blacklight flames suddenly light up the nearly invisible Ceiling Stars to reveal Jex towering over me. But instead of humor glittering in his gold eyes, there seems to be concern.

“Lissaria says she misses talking to you. It’s impolite to ignore Magic Whisperers when they’re your friends,” Jex says in a nearly teasing voice, but his expression doesn’t change.

“I wouldn’t call Lissaria a friend,” I start, being completely honest when something flickers in his expression. It would be unwise to get on his bad side in my current state. “But I guess I could visit now that we can’t talk all the time.”

Jex slightly smiles, “She said she couldn’t read your mind in the last timeline, yet here you are barely able to stand.”

“The circumstances are quite different,” I say defensively, taking my hand off the wall to stand on my own.

“Would you like some help back to the main path?” he says as he turns, already heading forward.

“It’d be nice to have a guide,” I admit, taking a few steps forward and pressing my hand against the wall without thinking. After how long it’s been… I’m starting to get light-headed, and now that there’s consistent light, I’m starting to see things out of the corners of my eyes that don’t exist.

The tunnel begins to take a few turns, and it breaks off into numerous other ones that I’m glad I don’t have to choose between. Who knows how long I’d be stuck down here if I was alone? 

Jex is silent for a while until he suddenly says, “Lissaria is proud of how far you’ve come. She hopes you’ll become a great ambassador on the Surface.”

I raise an eyebrow at how strange the idea of Lissaria being  _ proud  _ of me is. It’s enough to make me suspicious that this might not be  _ Jex _ .

He just barely laughs and says in my head,  _ “Trust me, Perseverant, I’m me.” _

_ “Why are you being so weird, then?” _ I respond, glad that we can resort to speaking in our minds. Simply talking out loud has become an immense effort, too.

He stops and turns to face me. “I know what will happen in the next timeline, and I do not agree with my sister’s choice. Since you won’t have a chance to speak with her before then, I decided to tell you what she wished you knew.”

I slightly squint, feeling weak to continue to talk in my head after he’s reverted back to speaking on his own, but at this point, I can’t help it.  _ “What’s supposed to happen in the next timeline?” _

Jex smirks, “Let’s just say you better rest up, little queen. It will certainly be a unique one. I suppose I should give you some things to keep in mind when you get there.”

He taps my forehead with a claw and hundreds of images flash by so fast I can’t comprehend them. I jerk back and blink them away, giving him a look of pure confusion that he simply smiles at. “You’ll see them again before the next timeline, and don’t worry, you’ll know it when they appear.”

He continues on as if nothing happened, and I frown at his vagueness, but I’m too exhausted to question him any further.

It’s nearly a half hour until his blacklight stars fade, and I spot normal Ceiling Stars in the distance. I also pick up on the sound of rushing water, and my pace quickens as much as it can to reach the slim crack in the wall ahead. When I reach it, I see it’s big enough for me to slip through but certainly not for Jex.

Outside the cave, there’s a wide stone bank for me to step on that leads down to the rushing river. In the distance, I spot the bench Papyrus and I sat on when I told him about all the timelines that have occurred. I guess I’ll just have to hope that my magic will get me across.

I turn to Jex and give him a nod of gratitude. “Thank you for leading me back.”

He bows his head in response. “I give you my best wishes, little queen. Hopefully you’ll get me my island.”

His words don’t sound like a taunt, but I note the wishful undertones in his voice. “I haven’t forgotten,” I say before stepping out onto the bank.

I’m about to form a platform when a little boat suddenly appears upstream, revealing Roman guiding it along. I look back to see if Jex summoned him, but the dragon has already retreated back into the shadows.

“You look like you just walked away from a battlefield,” Roman says when his boat bounces against the bank.

I look back at him to see those emerald eyes glowing underneath his hood, and I willingly climb into the boat, fighting to make sure I keep my balance.

“It was something along those lines,” I murmur, self-consciously wiping the dried blood off my nose. It was fairly steady all through the tunnels so I didn’t bother to touch it.

“Would it help to hear that I still believe in you?” Roman asks as the boat begins to move.

I can’t bring myself to smile, but I appreciate his words. “I guess it does; nothing’s been easy.”

“But you’re closer than you’ve ever been,” he says, making a statement rather than asking.

“I suppose,” is all I can say, realizing I don’t want to talk about what happened in the cave. At least… not with him.

I catch the smile under his hood, “Thanks for giving Gaster the Void. He’d never admit it, but he’s much happier now.”

Describing Gaster as  _ happy  _ sounds like saying cupcakes are sour, but I merely shrug in response. “I assume you two are a better team than working for Chara?”

Roman frowns in the strange way that skeletons do. “No, he doesn’t want anything to do with me, but my awareness of the Void has told me enough. It’s a better ‘life’ for all the SOULs in there now. Maybe one day they’ll tire of existence and fight for freedom, but if there’s anyone who will figure that out, it’s him.”

I’m not surprised that Gaster has been so unforgiving to Roman, but still… if I knew Mable had been alive all this time… I don’t know. Maybe I can see it from his perspective; it’s just hard to envision Gaster dealing with that level of emotional pain.

We finally reach Snowdin and Roman stops at the usual dock. Based on the lighting, it’s nearly noon. Has it really been half a day since my family and I left the house in search of Undyne and Chara?

Snowflakes fall in a steady stream, obscuring my vision and thankfully keeping most people inside. I don’t want to have a conversation with anyone else in my current state.

I stand up on shaky feet, and Roman grabs my arm to help me keep my balance.

“Do you want me to heal you?” he asks, thankfully asking for permission this time.

“It’s fine, home’s just around the corner; I’m sure my brothers are there.”

I don’t let any doubt show, and it’s enough to convince Roman to believe me.

“Alright, I’ll see you around. Breaking the Barrier shouldn’t be long now, right?” he asks, seeming more certain than questioning.

I can only nod, “Yep.”

Then I turn for home, using nearly all the strength I have left to stay on my feet. When I reach the house, the door is still locked, and I pull the key out of my back pocket to get in, hoping that it’s not a bad sign.

Inside, it’s pretty dark from the shut curtains, and the only light on is the one in the kitchen. But my fears quickly relax when I see Sans is slumped over the table with his back to me, resting his head on his arms. Okay, there’s one, where are the others?

I pull my boots off and toss my jacket on the couch, scanning the room for Cody. He’s not on his bed or the couch, so I check the boys’ rooms. Then I check the attic, nothing. My search also tells me that Papyrus isn’t here, and a rush of panic runs through me before I force myself to calm down. Maybe they went to Undyne’s to look for me. Maybe they’re just getting lunch in the City. Maybe…

My fears are so strong that I can’t avoid thinking of the worst-case scenarios, and I look to Sans. As much as I want to let him sleep… I need to know. Besides, maybe he’ll take me to Papyrus so we’ll all stop worrying.

I take a deep breath and walk over to him, suddenly becoming very aware of how exhausted I am. I doubt I’ll be able to do anything else today, it feels like a simple shove would be able to knock me out at this point.

I shake his shoulders as gently as I can, hoping it doesn’t feel so abrupt that he’d jump. But he doesn’t move. I try again with a firmer shake, afraid that something’s wrong with him that I don’t notice. Nothing.

I’m about to try a third time when a blast of bone bullets throws me across the room. My vision blacks out for a couple seconds, and by the time it clears, I look up to see him standing over me with a blaster preparing to fire.


End file.
